00:00:00
00:00:01
S2 Ep. 2: All the right people are going to come
44 Plays1 month ago
In this episode, I reflect on the importance of trusting ourselves even when it feels messy or confusing. I remind us how in those moments of uncertainty, we find the people and experiences meant to guide us. I share the story of my meeting a Nashville native bartender with the most amazing of minds, which aims to remind us of the power of intuition and the beauty of letting things unfold naturally. Sometimes, we're drawn to certain people for reasons we can’t explain at first, but when we trust that pull, we open ourselves to meaningful connections.
The message here is simple: all the right people will find their way into your life when the time is right. Everything happens for a reason, and even in moments of confusion, there are valuable lessons to be learned. As we go through transitions, especially when starting over, it's important to embrace the mess, laugh at the uncertainty, and live in the moment. Eventually, all the pieces will fall into place, and in the meantime, we just need to trust ourselves and enjoy the ride. You deserve to!
Alexa Play “Broken Window Serenade” by Whiskey Myers
Transcript
00:00:02
heatherdyann
Eventually, all the pieces fall into place. But until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know everything happens for a reason.
00:00:19
heatherdyann
Welcome to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here. So we're gonna go into a little bit of a mess about or what I'm saying about everything happening for a reason. So I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately on just where I'm going. And I think
00:00:52
heatherdyann
As we know, starting over, unfortunately, it's almost like, okay, I want to do it right this time. And so for anyone with an overthinking mind, starting over can seem all the more difficult because all you can do is know all the mistakes you made, which is great, you're coming with information, but you're just so overthinking things.
00:01:19
heatherdyann
And I realized the one one of the really positive things when all of my life was evolving and changing and I didn't know like what was going on is that I did and I still do. But a little of that was taken from me have this like carefree personality and heart and just going with the flow.
00:01:47
heatherdyann
So I want to kind of revisit a story that I haven't yet shared of wild me in the wild when I first got to Tennessee. So speaking of all the, you know, the right things will happen. And and I wanted to talk about the right people coming into your life. So let's get into it.
00:02:16
heatherdyann
When I first came to Nashville, I stated that I had Airbnbs for the first three months. So in my third Airbnb, there was a time where I was really just going to live it up before I was going to settle down and move into a permanent place. And there was this bar that was like walkable from the third Airbnb I was at. Well, it was like a bar restaurant.
00:02:50
heatherdyann
And at the time I was working so many hours, but I was, you know, working remotely. So I would just decide that I'd take my laptop, walk over to this, uh, bar, sit at the bar by myself, do a little work, but I'm out of the house and I'm around people. Cause I have no friends at this point and I'm not in an office. So I had been to this bar probably like a few times maybe. And so it was probably like my second or third time coming in. And I'm there for a little while. And it's at this time, ah you know, there a lot of regular so maybe it was like my third time I could tell there was a regular crowd. People had seen before. So probably like an hour into me being there if that this guy comes in.
00:03:47
heatherdyann
And he's just like, and I'm saying this because if you know me and I don't know, most people are probably not like this from what I'm experiencing and learning from people. But me, like my one of my friends said this about me and it's so true um is like she said, you don't have a type. You have a vibe.
00:04:15
heatherdyann
And so like if someone asks me what's your type, I mean, I was married for so long. I never really thought about that. And then now in this whole new world, I'm like, it's more for me about how they carry themselves and how they make me feel. And like something about their vibe is what pulls me into a person. It's not like specifically what they look like, because I could notice that and then as soon as their vibe is one way, I'm like, Oh, nevermind.
00:04:47
heatherdyann
So anyways, this guy comes in and he just has this like vibe, I guess this is before she told me, but like just this kind of aura around him, just very charismatic seeming and everyone at the bar was like, Oh, Hey, and like talking to him. And I can kind of like overhear him just conversing back. And I'm thinking like the confidence in the way he's speaking and how kind he's being to the people that are talking to him. And I'm like,
00:05:16
heatherdyann
Who? Like this guy is just kind of different. and I'm super just intrigued by his energy. So he ends up, but he's not really like giving me any, like he's not really looking at me, which, you know what, it's fine. um And so he sits down though at the bar kind of by me, but he's still like in his own little world and a ton of people are talking to him. And I end up saying something which is funny because there's rare times that I will really,
00:05:47
heatherdyann
say something first to a man. But if I feel like I'm supposed to and in the way you're supposed to, I don't know how to explain it other than like I feel like I'm supposed to be the one to say something here because I feel like this person is supposed to be and in my life for some reason. But it's weird because at the time I don't know if they're going to be in my life, but there's just this pull to be like you should say something and I don't know how to explain that.
00:06:17
heatherdyann
So I say, oh wow, you sure know a lot of people here. What are you, like a drug dealer? Which i don't I don't think I've ever asked anyone in my whole life that, like it's not even something I would normally say, so it's still weird to me I did. um And he kind of laughed it and he was like, no, I used to bartend here. so And so I just knew everybody and I haven't, I don't bartend here anymore. So, but yeah, basically.
00:06:47
heatherdyann
And I was like, Oh, okay, yeah, that makes sense. And that it was just like it. Like I was like, well, ah okay, I guess maybe nothing. Well, probably only like 10 minutes later in I don't even know how we just be we begin to speak to each other again. And we're just like,
00:07:08
heatherdyann
engulfed in conversation about who knows what and suddenly we went from like this weird thing that I said to like oh my gosh we're having this great conversation we're hitting it off we're just talking about everything so he buys me a couple of drinks and we're still just talking and the bar is getting you know it's getting ready to close and at this point I wasn't planning on being there so late or having these drinks that I'm being Um, offered. And so he's like, yeah, you, you know, like I obviously wasn't going to drive, but where I was staying was walkable. So he I was like, Oh, I'm just staying over there. He's like, Oh, I have friends that, you know, i'll live there. I'm like, Oh, great. He was like, well, you can leave your car here and be safe. Like where I parked. And he was like, so, but do you want me to walk you back to your place? Cause it was late. So I was like, sure.
00:08:03
heatherdyann
So we leave my car and we leave the bar and we decide to walk hand in hand, mind you, like this complete stranger, charismatic stranger. um We're walking down the street to my Airbnb. And so we get to the building and we he's coming up and like, again, I realize that I met this person like,
00:08:32
heatherdyann
an hour ago. So maybe by my lack of good judgment, I'm just bringing the stranger back. But I don't know. ah Here I am, messy, doing whatever, don't really know. This person is like a great conversationalist. And as someone that's been working from home and doesn't have any friends in Nashville, but it's been great. So we get into my spot and open the door and immediately he goes to the dog, my dog, my cute dog. And for me that's always the vibe. So I was right about this person because anyone that enters my home and their first inkling is to like react to my dog and give my dog attention, like you've sold me. Like that's that's the kind of energy I want in my life. So he's carrying on with the dog and I'm like, see, this is gonna be just fine.
00:09:28
heatherdyann
Like I already know. So we proceeded to hang out. And if you know me, like he, he was just so smart in this different way. Like such an intellectual, just ah such a great mind, very different than a lot of people like that. I talked to, I was just so really impressed by him.
00:09:56
heatherdyann
And I don't really feel that way about a lot of people I like I'm not normally impressed and I probably impressed me more that he wasn't seemingly trying to impress me. He just felt felt very authentic. And I loved yeah So we're talking and I learned all these things about him. He was originally from Nashville, like born and raised. He had like a really interesting life. Um, and probably not like an ideal upbringing necessarily, but just very like just a good overall person. And his dad had passed away too. So he had just had his mom. And so we had like a lot of conversations on that deeper level.
00:10:45
heatherdyann
Well anyways, you know, next thing you know, he's leaving. It's like, who knows what time in the morning, super, super late. And we kind of just like part ways and just kind of agree. Like he's like, how long are you going to be in this Airbnb? And I'm like, like another month. And he was like, should we just hang out while you're in this Airbnb? And I feel like it was almost kind of like, okay, while you're in this Airbnb, then we'll hang out. And then, cause he lived close. And then after that, you know,
00:11:15
heatherdyann
Maybe we won't, which whatever, like I'm literally just this carefree, like for whatever. I don't, I mean, I'm not in a position to want much of anything, but I'm so in my, I really just am like attracted to his mind. So he ends up leaving and we still talk and, and um you know, try to make plans. So don't worry, he's a bartender still.
00:11:45
heatherdyann
So it's, you know, again, not probably like my most ideal, uh, you know, situation for someone, but I'm no judgment. I was a bartender once, but that's not really like a relationship thing, but it was perfect because I'm not really looking for that. So whatever. So we're hanging out for like the 30, like the time that I'm there. I see him a couple more times and each time I'm just like, gosh,
00:12:13
heatherdyann
Like there was just so many things. He was just so in touch with like a different side of himself and it was very like refreshing. And a lot of our conversations still cross my mind just because of the depth of our conversations. So anyways, we spend some time together while I'm there. And then once I move, uh, to Hendersonville, which is about 30, 35 minutes away from that area, if not more, then it kind of just like drops off. We like text here and there. We try to connect. It doesn't really happen. Well, finally,
00:12:54
heatherdyann
It's about this time last year, like September of last year. And he hits me up and finally it was like, I have some making up to do. I would love to see you. Can I come over? He comes over. And it was interesting because he gets here and we just are like talking. Like I think he literally came at like five or six. And we just like talked the whole time about every thing under the moon. Like this man like I feel like I know so much about him. And we were talking about something
00:13:36
heatherdyann
And oh, he had hit this someone that he had dated previously like an ex-girlfriend for forever ago. Like he had to go back to wherever she lived because her father passed away and he didn't really, or a family member. He didn't, yeah, it was her father. Didn't really want to, or I don't think he necessarily wanted to go, but it would be rude and she would be upset. And so he kind of had to go.
00:14:00
heatherdyann
And I was like, Oh, I was like, well, when my dad passed my ex boyfriend, his dad came, but he didn't. ah And I just kind of thought maybe it would be hard for him so he couldn't make it.
00:14:15
heatherdyann
So, and he goes, and he like stops, like dead in his tracks, staring at me, we're like sitting across the kitchen table. And I was just mentioning it because I had never thought about being mad at my ex for not coming to my dad's funeral. Like we weren't together. And I mean, I don't know. And he was like,
00:14:37
heatherdyann
You are so kind. You're thinking about your ex boyfriend's feelings instead of your own when your dad died. And I was like, I mean, I don't, I didn't really think of it like that. I was just saying he maybe doesn't, it'd maybe be hard for him to come see me and see my dad, all the things.
00:15:06
heatherdyann
And then he looks again and says, I date crazy women that throw chairs through my window or get hysterically crazy angry when things don't go their way. I don't even know what to do with someone like you.
00:15:33
heatherdyann
And it was like, it's interesting because unless you like talk to people with different experiences or perspectives, you don't realize how much what you perceive as normal in your mind is strange to someone else.
00:15:56
heatherdyann
And so like all of the conversations with this man just made me see so many different sides. I mean, we had very different upbringings, just so much difference in our life. And I i just Obviously, I already knew like we weren't going anywhere and he was he was younger as well ah than me. But he also just I mean, our lives were just completely different. I mean, it wasn't ever gonna I don't think that's where we ever thought that was where it was heading. But it was just becoming more blatantly obvious as we talked but it was like, there was just still something there. So when he left the next day,
00:16:42
heatherdyann
the next morning, I remember just kind of knowing like I think that was like the closure because there was a lot of thoughts with this guy that I was just like, gosh, I just want to see him again, because I just his mind makes me feel things I don't normally feel. And so after that,
00:16:58
heatherdyann
you know, trip that he came over and all the conversations we had, which were great. I just, I mean, I think I just knew it was the closure and and it was just going to be like, okay, see ya. So it was fine. And I remember like we had talked about his mom um and he, you know, he had mentioned that like, if he, his mom wasn't doing too great in her health And if she had passed, if she passed, he would be like an orphan. um Well, not an orphan, but like he wouldn't have parents anymore. And again, he was like, younger than me. And I thought that in my head about losing my mother now. And so there was just so many things we could talk about, I guess, that not everyone that can relate to.
00:17:45
heatherdyann
So anyways, this man, you know, after that, it was kind of just I feel like mutual for both of us. Like, where was this possibly going? And, you know, I thought of him weirdly. And it was like such a weird, strong, like, thought, like, I wonder what? I don't not even know what to call him. Nashville bartender is doing like, I just am thought of him.
00:18:16
heatherdyann
I kid you not. I can't make this up. It was like on a night. It was like a Monday night and just, he crossed my mind. It's not like I normally did because this wasn't that long ago. And I was just, it just, he crossed my mind the next morning.
00:18:35
heatherdyann
I get a text message, hadn't talked to him in literally months and months and months, like last year. And I get a text message and it says, hello dear, you've always been so kind and thoughtful to me. And I've honestly been an asshole in return. I don't really know how to allow kindness and love into my life. This is me sincerely apologizing.
00:19:07
heatherdyann
My mom just passed away and a lot of things just came into focus for me. I want to say that I'm sorry for being insensitive, distant, and foreboding. You deserve more than that. You don't have to respond to this. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I had some growing up to do recently and I recently did it. I hope you can forgive me. and If not, I absolutely understand.
00:19:38
heatherdyann
I was like, I cannot believe that he texts me after I just thought of him. I wasn't even angry at anything. I didn't feel necessarily that he was rude. I kind of think I just understood him in a way that maybe he didn't realize I understood because I really wasn't expecting anything from him. And I think I understood what, ah you know,
00:20:09
heatherdyann
maybe weirdly why we had even met. And I think I kind of didn't know how to respond, but then suddenly these just words just came out of of my, I started typing away. and And I'm sharing this only because I think there's just people in your life that
00:20:37
heatherdyann
you know, aren't going to be there forever. But there's just this purpose and why they're there for that moment. And their discussions that you needed to have their thoughts you needed to think about, there's perspectives you needed to see. And it was because you were just like, open to them, like everything happening for a reason. So I wrote, Hi, Nashville bartender,
00:21:07
heatherdyann
I am so very sorry to hear about your mother's passing. I know how much you meant to each other. Could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. I know the pain of losing a parent and that there are really no words, but if you ever need someone to listen or vent feelings to, I can be a listening ear. Just know you're not alone in the grief.
00:21:28
heatherdyann
appreciate so much for the kind words and apology. I have no anger or any ill feelings towards you in any way. I understood that we were in very different head spaces and that's completely okay. Probably what intrigued me about you in the first place, but thank you for thinking of me really means a lot.
00:21:52
heatherdyann
I feel like sometimes instead of being
00:22:01
heatherdyann
angry when you're not getting what you think you want from something in your life. You just have to realize that it was just there for a reason. It taught you something, it gave you something you needed to hear or you needed to see or you needed to feel.
00:22:23
heatherdyann
And when it, you know, I feel like that girl that I was and I'm trying to get back to even more, She just knew it all works out for me. So this interaction with this human, like I left some impression on their life and he left one on mine. Then the wildest thing happened before I went to Utah. I was running some errands in Hendersonville.
00:22:59
heatherdyann
And I decided to stop by the rudder.
00:23:06
heatherdyann
This Marina bar close to my house. And I go and I was, I wasn't going to go there. I was going to go somewhere else. It was one of those moments where you're like, Oh, should I go here? I should go here. And I was like, my whole intention was to go somewhere else and kind of last minute. I'm like, you know what? I'm going to go to the rudder. I haven't been there in a minute.
00:23:27
heatherdyann
So I stop at the rudder and I go and just sit at the bar. I kid you not. One bar still away is this man.
00:23:42
heatherdyann
He never even comes to Hendersonville. Like he is always in Nashville. I know that sounds right. He's just not an ever in that town. And I'm so I'm blown away, like almost like seeing a ghost. Like how is this person here? And he the same looks at me and I'm like, what are you doing here? And he was like, crazy story. Like I'm,
00:24:07
heatherdyann
I after my mom passed away like I decided to reconnect with the rest of my family and it was like a cousin got married and then they invited it him out on their boat the next day and he was there because he was on their boat. So he was just having a drink at the bar before he went back to Nashville. What?
00:24:30
heatherdyann
Like I don't even know. And so he re-talked and he told me, ah which weirdly I had been doing some of my break from like my little sabbatical and he was taking one of his own. He was taking like seven months to do some traveling and touring and different things just to kind of like figure out his next step in life after his traumatic loss of his mother and his last parent. And it's crazy to me
00:25:19
heatherdyann
how sometimes in our lives it's like now we're, you know, we're both grieving these losses. Like the timing's just off and all the discussions we had, like it all just made sense to me. And now he's at the same place I am where I never even, ah the whole time that I knew him before, like we never ran each other ran into each other in Nashville at the same place ever.
00:25:48
heatherdyann
And then now you're just here in my city. Like it was just crazy. And I'm telling this story again to just reiterate that.
00:26:01
heatherdyann
I am a big believer and I hope that you can think back and things in your life that if we just kind of open ourselves up to all of the things that can come our way and say yes to more things, I mean that we want to do of course, but instead of letting like fear or I shouldn't do that or questioning like that's the girl I was and I ah I did I feel like I've done a little bit of work to backstep that and go back into my old self of like not being good at being as carefree. And I want to go back to that because it's the place where you're just grateful for every moment, you're grateful for every experience. And so the best things come to you.
00:26:51
heatherdyann
And you kind of let go of expectations. Like you don't expect anything from others. And I don't mean you don't have healthy boundaries about what you need from people and or like what you won't tolerate. But like this man apologizing, I don't really know what he did other than he unless he thought that there was something more that I wanted from him that he couldn't he didn't bring or give. But I mean, I was just at such a good mindset that I was just there with no expectations.
00:27:34
heatherdyann
And I loved getting to know his mind. And although it won't be anything in my life and it just was what it was, I feel like it is such a cool reminder to myself to think back on that story and how it's reason, season, lifetime that people are in your life.
00:28:04
heatherdyann
And the reason I think is still TBD for me. I think there's a lot that I reflect on with that experience with him. But I feel like even from the other side of the coin, part of me hopes that my interaction with him brings something that he needed to his life. Maybe a different way that women can communicate with him. I don't know. Like,
00:28:33
heatherdyann
And we we had something that was different. And I think sometimes when we open ourselves up to new experiences, we get just that.
00:28:48
heatherdyann
And so as I'm in this world of saying yes, still for the plot, and maybe that wasn't the messiest of stories, but at the if you really think about it, I don't know what mindset I'm in half the time when I'm just like taking this chance where I feel like if you were the kind of person that writes watches those true crime shows, like I'm probably not I'm probably like the girl that you would think, you know, should watch those shows. But I believe most people are good. So, and that's been my experience. So I'm, I'm just gonna keep going and leaning into most people are good, and I'm honest just gonna vibe with them.
00:29:36
heatherdyann
So I'm leaving all this just to stay say that and I'll kind of wrap it up with this thought that I um Saw recently that we really just The right people will come into your life not because you force them but because you invite them in with your authenticity and I think being authentically who we are and figuring out who that is for us and not feeling like we have to change or be someone we're not for someone is the purest, greatest way we can be. And when you do that and you lean into who you truly are, the right people will find you.
00:30:30
heatherdyann
you'll find the people that need to be around you, and you'll be around the people that you need.
00:30:45
heatherdyann
So as you think about things in your life and your day, when you're like, you have the urge to do something, and not like a temptation, like kind of like an intuition, like,
00:31:00
heatherdyann
I should text that person. I should say hi to that person. I should apply for that job. I should this. And it's it's not like you're overthinking it. It's just suddenly the thought comes to you.
00:31:15
heatherdyann
Act on it. Because there's something inside of us that knows exactly where we need to be, who we need to bring into our lives. And when we don't take that action and trust those feelings, then we miss out on things or at least delay things that could be meant for us or are meant for us to experience.
00:31:48
heatherdyann
I feel like I've opened my whole mind to just a whole new world by having to start over like a blank canvas. And so I don't want to miss an opportunity to paint with a different color.
00:32:05
heatherdyann
So I have to be open to whatever comes my way, knowing that it's going to be the most beautiful picture at the end of its time. When the canvas is full and my days are done, it's going to be something I look at and go, wow. I think that's what we can all hope for.
00:32:37
heatherdyann
So go paint with all the colors of the wind um and enjoy it. That's why we're here. Thank you for listening to Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.