00:00:00
00:00:01
S2 Ep. 1: Starting Over with a New Perspective
50 Plays1 month ago
In this episode, I kick off season 2 with an inspiring discussion about the challenges and opportunities that come with starting over and making changes. I dive into the exciting yet daunting experience, whether it's by choice or chance, of starting fresh, which can feel both invigorating and terrifying. Reminding us that although we will often crave the familiarity of our comfort zones we must recognize that true growth happens when we step out of them. I share my insights on shifting from frustration and negativity to excitement and possibility.
I share how recently my eyes have opened to how we often sabotage our own happiness, believing we don't deserve the good things in life, and how I now look to see setbacks as life working in my favor. This season, I'm focusing on taking action, embracing change, and letting life be good, even when it feels scary or unknown. If you've ever hesitated to take a leap or have a hard time understanding how your mindset truly can change your life, this episode is for you.
Let's explore how to shift our minds to one who understands things are working out for us, the world is not against us, and good things are always on the way! I know, I know, it sounds like a lot of sunshine, but come on you deserve a little tan ;)
Remember, life will always "show you the surface, the plot, and the purpose" when you open your mind to the bigger, more beautiful picture that is your life.
Alexa Play “Bubble Up” by Jimmy Buffett
Visit WanderingtheWildMess.com - Exciting Things Coming!!
Transcript
00:00:01
heatherdyann
Hello, if you've ever thought about or had to start all over this episode for you. Welcome to wandering the wild mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy you're here.
00:00:24
heatherdyann
Y'all, it's season two. I can't believe it. It's wild to me that I spoke to each of you for 30 episodes in a matter of half of this year, but I'm excited to kind of dive into something different. I'm definitely going to have guests this season, which will be exciting and new and I can't wait to bring more perspectives to the podcast for each of you.
00:00:56
heatherdyann
But as we go into season two, something that has been on my heart is what I had been talking about a little bit the last of end of last season is just really this motivational mindset that I'm having on my self-discovery journey, right? So if you've ever started over by choice or by chance or forced to for whatever reason, I feel like you can relate to the invigorating feeling of, wow, I have a clean slate. Now I can do whatever I want. And also the very crippling, scary feeling of like, what do I do now?
00:01:38
heatherdyann
Nothing feels familiar. Nothing's comfortable. And I just want to like revert back to kind of like my comfort zone. But I don't know how because it's been taken from me. And so we kind of seek to find it again. But like the cliche states, we all know that nothing great comes from our comfort zone.
00:02:05
heatherdyann
So it really is starting over really is that opportunity to show up for yourself differently than you ever have before. And I know there can be days and nights where it's just so much harder to do the thing that's different, to do the thing that feels uncomfortable, that challenges you. But I promise you, you always feel happier in life when you take those chances and you get out of your comfort zone.
00:02:37
heatherdyann
I think we all know this easier said than done. So I kind of want to talk a little bit about how do we shift the mindset from, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just wandering this wild mess to like, here we go. This is exciting.
00:02:55
heatherdyann
And I think what I found one of the key things, and I do want to let y'all know that I have been doing a lot of reading. um I'm a big nerd when it comes to self improvement books. um And I know, you know, there's a time and place. So when you're ready, I'm definitely going to be adding a big list of my favorite because sometimes I think it's just nice to be smacked in the face with someone else's proven truth.
00:03:23
heatherdyann
And specifically, there is this one book that I am listening to called The Big Leap. And I haven't yet finished it surprisingly, because I literally don't want to stop. But I also think for anyone that is like tried to do a lot of big changes, you're kind of like, you get super motivated, but then you're like, Oh, my gosh, can I? And so you're almost like,
00:03:49
heatherdyann
you're ready to jump, but then you're like afraid of what it's gonna feel like to land, even though you want to. So I think part of me is a little bit delaying on completing it because i I know that once I know all the information, I'll have no excuses and no choice but to just roll with it. But I'm getting there.
00:04:10
heatherdyann
But one of the really profound things that the book talks about, the author is just ah such a genius. And he talks about something that I think we all, and I haven't really spoken with many people in my life that it had this perspective, but it makes complete sense to me, although it also seems wild.
00:04:33
heatherdyann
And it's basically the premise that we can be happy and joyful and excited and all of these positive emotions all the time. Like being good with our lives and where we're going all the time is possible, but we choose to sabotage or put limitations or you know create unnecessary dramas or step out of our integrity to ruin things that are going good for us. And I know, I know that sounds wild. It's like, no, things happen to me. That's not it. What about the things other people do? But listen, everything is such a mindset.
00:05:24
heatherdyann
So even when things that were not intending to happen the way they did, even when things are coming at us that were like, this cannot be good. How am I supposed to be happy about this? It literally.
00:05:39
heatherdyann
can like I think the story of and and again I don't want to push I don't want people thinking like is this toxic positivity because I definitely think you can be sad and feel things but I think at the end of the day you can choose to be to allow your life to just be good it's okay it's okay you're worthy of that you deserve that but so many of us want to ruin things when they're going good. And as I'm reading and listening to this book, I'm realizing points in time of my life previously where I have definitely self so-sabotaged, whether it's ah like mostly relationships or even financially with careers like
00:06:33
heatherdyann
When you're getting, when things are going really good in our lives, we often stop subconsciously and think they can't be this good. and So we find ways to ruin them because there's something that says we don't deserve that. And until we understand that and work through why the heck What happened in our younger years to make us believe that we are not worthy of love or we're not worthy of abundance or we're not worthy of being happy about our lives until we really understand where that all came from. It's really hard for us to stop those behaviors.
00:07:27
heatherdyann
On a smaller scale, I'll just give a quick story about a road trip that I made. And I'm in i'm talking on the phone to one of my friends. We're having a great old conversation. And the next thing you know, I'm getting pulled over. And I'm like, really? I don't even remember the last time I've been pulled over.
00:07:47
heatherdyann
And the cop comes to my window and he's like, do you know how fast you were going? And I literally didn't. And I probably should have been like, no, but not that fast. And, but I'm, but I'm a terrible liar if you know me. So I'm not very quick on the lies thing, but I just kind of agree with him, which was, I won't even say how fast cause I'm, I'm a little embarrassed, but I say, yeah, I was just, you know, ah yeah, pretty much just kind of accepted my fate there. ah Either way, I ended up with a ticket. I didn't snooze. I should have I know I heard it, but I didn't. And I'm leaving like the whole thing and I'm still on the phone with my friend. And after he hands me the ticket and he kind of tells me, you know, Georgia, blah, blah, blah, you could try to go to driving school, something like that. I'm like, okay, well, thank you. And my friend goes, did you just thank him for a speeding ticket? And I was like, yeah.
00:08:52
heatherdyann
And my mind literally wildly was like, I mean, I already got the ticket. Why am I going to be mad about it? Like that's not going to change anything. Getting mad at him, it could have been even worse. I didn't even think to react like that. But then secondly, I was like, maybe I was supposed to be pulled over. Maybe if I would have kept driving and I wouldn't have got pulled over, then there would have been a wreck and I would have been part of the accident and I could have been worse off. I don't know.
00:09:22
heatherdyann
but for whatever reason, I just took it and let it be. And I think that is a great example of if you think about it, how many times in your day could you have not got so frustrated with something that couldn't change?
00:09:43
heatherdyann
that you couldn't change at all. There was nothing I could do to go back in time, just not speed for the cop not to see me and for me not to get the ticket. Now, am I mindful going ahead of my speed now? Absolutely. But Me being upset wouldn't change the fact I got the ticket. And I think so many times in our days and our lives, we hold on to like this anger or frustration or beat ourselves up over something we can't change. I'm not going to just be unmindful of my speed again. I don't want another ticket. It wasn't a good scenario and it's not necessarily inexpensive either. But it happened.
00:10:31
heatherdyann
And me getting upset about it wouldn't have really made any better. So I thanked him for whatever he saved me from. In my mind, that's what it was. And I went on with my day. We always have a choice to see the better side of what happened. We can still be unhappy or sad about the situation. I definitely don't want to pay the state of Georgia.
00:10:59
heatherdyann
a couple hundred dollars. Absolutely not. But at the end of the day, if I'm upset about it for weeks and weeks, it's taking time out of my joy. So it's more than just the money I have to pay.
00:11:19
heatherdyann
So all that to say is I'm realizing more than I ever had that so many times in my life previously, I let little things take away my joy. When I was super happy about something, I could let something so small ruin it.
00:11:44
heatherdyann
And I think it's just like anything else in life. Once we start doing it, we can be more mindful. I'm sure if you've read any kind of books about self-improvement or emotional intelligence, you know that snapping and using your emotions quickly is never the way to go. Usually if you can take a few calm breaths,
00:12:09
heatherdyann
and not react to situations so quickly, you can save yourself a lot of trouble. We say things we don't necessarily mean when we're not when we're talking with our emotions. We do things that we don't mean when we're letting our emotions or our ego or all of those things be the boss of us. But when we rationally go What do I want to do in this situation? What makes sense for me to do in this situation, to make it the best I can after the fact? And we just calmly decide, what do I do here? That is um from a place of power, I would say, because you're choosing the best path for yourself, your life, and really your future.
00:13:02
heatherdyann
If you get too angry about something that doesn't really matter, who even knows how it can, how it can waterfall into the rest of your day being not as good as it could have been. That is something that I've found also to be true is sometimes when we don't show up for ourselves, other things fall through the cracks. I think back to my previous life and how many times I let things that didn't matter, matter so much. And if I could go back in time, I would have let those go and not necessarily change the outcome of my life, but to give me the joy back.
00:13:54
heatherdyann
There was a quote that I recently read that said, you can't get more time out of your life. So get more life out of your time.
00:14:10
heatherdyann
That is my new life motto because that is the one thing you can't get any more of is time. So all of the time that we waste being upset or frustrated or overwhelmed by things that we can't don't have a direct action to change is wasted. Now, when we have an action, when there's something actionable we could do to change that scenario,
00:14:40
heatherdyann
We should absolutely acknowledge that and then take the steps to do it. That for me is what this season of my life is all about. Taking the chances, doing the actionable things and just letting life be good. When something leaves, something betters on the way.
00:15:05
heatherdyann
When something hurts, I take for what it is, take it as a lesson, and then learn that that scenario may not be the best for me moving forward. I need to do things that prevent myself from being hurt, but at the end of the day, we never can fully. We never can make sure at any moment that what we do is the right or wrong thing. It just is.
00:15:34
heatherdyann
I heard someone say that a lot of times we'll stay in our comfort zone because we're so scared of what the outcome will be if we do something different. But the truth is we don't know what the outcome will be if we do the same thing. Things that we don't ideally want can happen even when we're in our comfort zones. So why wouldn't we chance the things we really want from life, the things we really want to do,
00:16:04
heatherdyann
the people we really want to make time for, the adventures we want to go on, why wouldn't we do those things even if they scare us? Because we don't know how those will end up either. Every day we don't even know what the next 10 minutes will hold.
00:16:23
heatherdyann
And when I think about my life, and I've talked about this before a lot in season one, but I would have never guessed I'd be sitting here on this couch in my cute little house in Tennessee by myself with my dog. Thanks.
00:16:42
heatherdyann
No. Sorry. But he's chewing on something. This is just my life. But I would have never thought this. I never would have known this would be where I am.
00:16:57
heatherdyann
So what does that tell me? I can't predict the future. But what I can also tell you is when I knew my life needed to change, I did envision this life for me. I knew I was supposed to be in Tennessee. I knew I was going to buy a cute little home. Obviously, I knew my dog was coming with me.
00:17:22
heatherdyann
And those big things I knew, so I would stop at nothing to make sure that I made them happen. And guess what that took? Action. So when we know what we want and we dare to move away, leave the relationship, find a whole new place, even if you have no friends, it will all fall into place if you just take the actions to make it happen.
00:17:53
heatherdyann
I feel like I was at a point in my life where I wasn't really afraid of much and it was great. And as I built more of a life here, I started to fall back a little bit in the pattern of fear.
00:18:14
heatherdyann
And I thought back to why, and I'm sure that many people can relate, and I think there's truth in knowing that when we're seen, we feel judged. Even if no one's judging us, it just feels that way.
00:18:33
heatherdyann
But people will always have opinions, always, about anyone. And the people that have the most negative and worst opinions about you that you're fearing, those aren't your people.
00:18:48
heatherdyann
And I can tell you 100% that no one that is happy and content and winning in their life is too worried or concerned about bashing your decisions or telling you you're being too much or worrying about your success and saying you'll never make it.
00:19:09
heatherdyann
People that are happy don't concern themselves with you living your life and you following your truth and you finding your purpose and you wanting to help other people or motivate people. Nobody with a kind heart and a happy life is worried about those things. And so for me, if those are the people I want in my life, then I need to be all right with, which is why I'm filming this,
00:19:40
heatherdyann
because it's been such a scary piece of my life to be vulnerable and frank and honest about myself because the fear of judgment.
00:19:53
heatherdyann
But I realize that fear of judgment holds me way farther back than it does anything for me. So if you're in a place in your life where you're afraid to be seen, you're afraid to change, you're afraid of what everyone might think, I promise you the people, one, most people don't care that much about what we're doing. We think they do, they don't.
00:20:25
heatherdyann
They're worried about their own life. They're not worried about yours. I can tell you the amount of people that are living their dream that I see day to day. And I know that they're winning at life and they're a friend of mine. I'm not worried that they're doing anything cringy, that they're being risky. Like they're, no, I'm like good for them. I'm glad they're following their heart. They're following their dreams. They look happy.
00:20:49
heatherdyann
I don't care. I'm happy for them. And to be honest, I'm not really thinking about what other people are doing most days, but yet somehow I think people are worried about what I'm doing. No, they're not. Like, no, they're not. i have I am special to myself, but I'm not that special to everybody else. They're just going on with their lives.
00:21:18
heatherdyann
So we have to let go of what will everyone think? What if they watch us, me fail? What if they watch you win? Ever thought of that? Why do we have to revert to what if everything goes wrong and we can't just allow our mind to say what if everything goes right? Most of the time our worries never manifest into reality unless we just consume ourself with them.
00:21:47
heatherdyann
And I'm a big believer that what you say out loud about yourself to yourself, to others does manifest, which is why it's so important to think positive about what you're going to have in your life, what you're bringing to your life, what is going to come for you, what you want to do, all those things.
00:22:16
heatherdyann
just having a positive mindset to ah set about it just shifts everything for you. Like why? Why have a negative one? Let's just say you came down to this planet today, right? You've never been on earth. Here you come.
00:22:32
heatherdyann
And you know, nothing memory wiped clean. And someone says, okay, you got two ways you can think in this life. You're going to have to go through some obstacles. There's going to be these beautiful things. You get trees, you get an ocean, you get to do all these activities. Like you can be in love. You can all of these great things. You can own a dog. All right. They're like, and as you go through life, you can have two ways of thinking.
00:23:00
heatherdyann
You can think everything always works out for me and be happily along the way. So as things happen, you're like, Oh, it just works out for me. Oh, the speeding ticket. Oh, it worked out for me. I probably would have had something worse off happen if I didn't stop and get this speeding ticket. I love how everything works out for me. You could have that mindset or You could have, oh my gosh, everything always goes wrong. I can't get anything right. I never do this. I never, I never accomplish any goals. I never get to do anything. I hate this. I hate my job. I hate my life. I don't like anything. Like when I say it out loud, but there's literally people that are living like that.
00:23:48
heatherdyann
People are truly choosing to sabotage their own happiness by saying negative things all day long. And I don't know if it's just me, but that mind blows me. Like I'm, I think I'm just so far from understanding that perspective now that it just breaks my heart that anyone has that perspective.
00:24:15
heatherdyann
You don't have to. You have a choice. You can choose to think that everything goes wrong, or it will, or it might, or it usually does, or you can choose to think everything goes right. It's wild. So I would like to challenge you for the latter. Everything goes right.
00:24:50
heatherdyann
Why not? Why not? And as I move through the season, as much as I love vulnerability of people's stories, I think it's good to do that. And, and again, being, choosing a positive mindset and leaning into everything works out for me doesn't mean we don't ever have any hard things ever happen. That's impossible.
00:25:15
heatherdyann
But our perspective and how we allow o ourselves to continue moving forward in life, that is really just how we get through things that maybe could break us. Because there's a lot of hard things that can come our way when we think we just deserve hard things, when we think we messed up, when we think it's our fault, when we think we're not worthy. That's not true. You are absolutely worthy of all the best and greatest things in this life. We all are. But until we get in touch with the fact that
00:26:09
heatherdyann
our minds make up our reality because our thoughts are everything. Think about today. Think about everything you did. Whatever happened in your day, if you think back, it's your thoughts. So if you look back to today and you were telling the story of someone, to someone of, oh, how'd your day go? Whatever story you tell is how the day went.
00:26:35
heatherdyann
I mean, the events could be all the same, but the story could be totally different.
00:26:44
heatherdyann
not trying to beat the the story of the speeding ticket, but I could either tell that story like, Oh my gosh, everything always goes wrong for me. I got this being ticket. It's going to be so much. I don't even know where I could say, well, I was talking out on the phone to Sydney and then I got the speeding ticket and I like kind of laughed it off because I'm sure something could have happened if I didn't get pulled over. So it worked out.
00:27:09
heatherdyann
That's the story I told the same event happened, but my mindset was positive about it. You get to choose. So remember that when you're thinking about the things in your life, I know that I cannot go back. I am so far from the person that I was before.
00:27:35
heatherdyann
I didn't always think like this, but now that I do, it's kind of like one of those eye opening moments in your life where you're like, what was I doing before? How did I not know this? How is this just coming to my mind now? And that's why I want to share it with you. I think starting over,
00:28:00
heatherdyann
with anything in life, the it's the perfect time. Sometimes maybe your life changes aren't moving away or ending a relationship or all of those things. Maybe starting over for you is just to go, I'm fed up with not feeling good about my life. So I'm going to change my mindset about it.
00:28:28
heatherdyann
That's the first step. And once your mindset changes to a more positive and calm one, it allows you to take actions to get the things you now understand and believe you deserve. Because in a negative mindset, often you're like, well, I don't know how to do that. Well, I could never do that. Well, I'm not good enough to do that. Well, that's not me. Well, I'm not this. I'm not that.
00:28:55
heatherdyann
But when you have a positive one, it's like, Hey, yes, I can do that. Absolutely. I can do that. Wait. Okay. Now I just need to learn more about this. Now I just need to do this. Now I need to insert myself here. Now I need to apply for that promotion. Now I need to, but when you don't think you can, you're not going to take the actions to do it.
00:29:14
heatherdyann
So if any of this resonates with you, I hope you can just start seeing more positive things out of the day to day life. Stop yourself when you're frustrated and ask, why does this fix it? If it doesn't fix it, remember the quote, you can't get more time in your life.
00:29:42
heatherdyann
So get more life in your time. And to me, life is lived, joyful, playful, happy. So I don't know, give it a try.
00:29:59
heatherdyann
I'll end all this by saying this will be a new journey for me. I still promise to throw in personal stories, but I'm scaling back just a little as my life feels like it's coming to a season of calm. But I know there's a lot that will be shared with others that have similar stories, so I cannot wait to bring all of that to the podcast.
00:30:28
heatherdyann
Again, if you've been listening since season one, thank you, thank you, thank you. If you're brand new and you found me, I'm so happy you're here. I hope you'll follow along. I know that my purpose is really just to bring all the light and positivity I can into this world. And I'm happy to have you here sharing it with me. So thank you.
00:30:53
heatherdyann
This was Wandering the Wild Mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.