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Life and Business Updates
91 Plays1 year ago
This week we just wanted to chat and bring you guys and even each other up to speed on where we are at in life and business and the fun, not fun, challenging, uncomfortable yet all together somewhat magical life things that are happening! We get a bit vulnerable but are so excited to have you all here on this journey with us and know you will value being a fly on the wall during this conversation and learn some valuable lessons with us!
Find us:
Instagram: @the_esthi_coach @sweetcheeksuniversity @sweetcheekswaxingskincare
beyondestheticspodcast@gmail.com
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Transcript
Welcome to Beyond Aesthetics Podcast
00:00:13
Speaker
Good morning. Welcome to the Beyond Aesthetics podcast. We are so happy you're here and we are your hosts. My name is Tiffany Orr. And I am Jessica Peterson. And welcome.
00:00:29
Speaker
We're really excited about today. We had a whole episode planned and then you know what, Jess came and was like, I think we just need an update and a life update and a work update and it's just a conversation and I could not agree more because I
00:00:49
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I feel like I know mostly where you're at and you know where I'm at yet there's also things that I'm like, well, how's this going? And yeah, we want to share all of that with you. Definitely. And we're going to have really light moments. We might have some heavy moments and a lot of vulnerability happening today, but we're so excited because Tiffany and I, we do text a lot, but
00:01:16
Speaker
Sitting down and having conversations between us is always just so valuable. And so we're just going to do it with you guys listening in on our conversation. But we're really excited and the vibes are just so good. We just had a really good conversation about some business things. And so if you guys are watching this, we just
00:01:41
Speaker
have huge smiles on our faces. And, and we're just so happy.
Mastermind and Coaching Group
00:01:45
Speaker
And we actually want to start by just discussing our mastermind call that we had. Was that on Monday before Monday talk about good vibes though. Cause that's really floated me through this week. Yeah. You know, so if you guys didn't know this, Tiffany and I host a mastermind and coaching group. And this is something I started years ago. And then last year I,
00:02:10
Speaker
turned it into an official thing and actually advertised it and spoke about it publicly and turned it into its own whole hugely successful thing.
00:02:22
Speaker
Yeah. And it's basically a container for personal and professional development for beauty professionals. And it's one of my favorite things I've ever done. Obviously, teaching and eminence takes the cake for me. Don't get me wrong, but this mastermind and coaching endeavor
00:02:45
Speaker
and especially bringing Tiffany into it who really has another perspective. We just have really good perspectives that match each other. So I had done around last fall as an official business and then we started this one in January and they are bi-weekly calls. They are set far ahead of time. In fact, I'm pretty sure I had these dates set back in October.
00:03:13
Speaker
so that when you join, you know exactly when the calls are, so you can mark that off on your schedule. And there's so much I could say about it. The things that we discuss are probably surprising, I think. What actually comes up during the calls is kind of surprising, and it's cool because it just flows really, really naturally. I mean, the first time that Tiffany
00:03:41
Speaker
co-hosted with me that first call. I was so excited for her to see what actually transpires during these calls and I texted her right away and I said, wasn't that the most fulfilling, coolest thing you've ever done in your life? And she was like, yes. I kind of had no idea because I know you shared with me, you know,
00:04:00
Speaker
about your mastermind last fall. And I was kind of getting the gist of it and I thought I did have it. And then just that first call, like you said, absolutely blew my socks off because it's so personal. And the beauty of the whole thing is we kind of just meet everybody where they're at. And everybody amazingly is at different places, yes, but kind of all on the same path too.
Group Dynamics and Growth
00:04:29
Speaker
It's weird, but so cool. I think we have eight or nine in this group. I think we have nine because we were going to top it. Our goal was to top it at eight people, but at the last minute, someone else wanted to join and Tiffany and I were so
00:04:48
Speaker
aligned with who and how this all happened that we let her join at the last minute and it has been a massive blessing having her in this group and so we did end up with nine in this round and I don't think I would ever do more than nine.
00:05:04
Speaker
No, I think it's a perfect amount because it feels like we can still give everybody each the attention that they need and everybody can get to know everyone else within the group on a personal level and build from there and kind of share our experiences and help validate everybody in their struggles and what they're going through. And it's just such a beautiful process. And let's see, we've had four so far. I think so.
00:05:32
Speaker
And already, man, there's been some massive growth that we witnessed, which has been amazing. Yeah, I feel like there was such a huge turnaround this week because the call prior you and I talked after and we were like, wow, everyone is like, and ourselves included, we were also in kind of a stuck place. And then I don't know what happened, but somewhere along the lines,
00:05:58
Speaker
the energy completely lightened up and then this last call.
00:06:03
Speaker
we just saw the brightness and the confidence in everybody. And we were like, Holy cow. I don't know what just happened in the last couple of weeks. I do. And we're going to talk about like what the subject was that kind of got us here and got us over this hump. Yes. But it's one of my favorite things about this call is that yes, it is virtual. But from that first call to the last call, the difference in the confidence, the brightness,
00:06:31
Speaker
and just the overall, I don't know, confidence and brightness and the growth that happens and you see it in their eyes, you see it on their face. They're smiling. They're excited. Their life is in a good place. Their business is in a good place. They're so much more confident. They have a better direction. They have a better handle. They feel loved. They feel supported. They get to love. They get to support. It's one of the most
00:06:59
Speaker
transformational containers. And it's so interesting because I can't say that that is what I even was going for when I created this three years ago. I just felt like, wow, owners, whether or not they're single estheticians, small spot owners, big spot owners, I just felt like we can tend to feel isolated.
00:07:21
Speaker
Yeah. And nothing could be further from the truth because I was the one who is out there working with everybody. And I'm like, actually, you're all the same. You're all different, but you're all the same. We all have the same struggles. And so I felt a need to create a way for everybody to come together.
00:07:38
Speaker
to see that we're all going through the same things. This is how and then give each other advice and support each other and talk each other through all of these things that come up as beauty professionals, as owners, as estheticians, like whatever that is. It's a really open container of what that looks like. But that was my only thing. I just felt a need to connect people and to create that container. And never in my life did I anticipate
00:08:07
Speaker
What we actually see happen during this time, especially when there's a set group because prior to this, it wasn't a set group. I just was hosting the calls and whoever wanted to join, you know, that call at that time was awesome.
00:08:23
Speaker
And so it was always different people. And so it was supportive, but we weren't ever really getting anywhere. And there wasn't as much vulnerability because it wasn't a set group. You weren't actually creating intimate yet super confidential relationships within the group, if that makes sense. Yeah. And so I think that's what's made all the difference in the world is that I was like,
00:08:44
Speaker
you're committed to this right like you invest in this you're committed to it you're committed to this group and it's a really safe like i said confidential group we don't even disclose who's in it unless afterwards the
00:08:59
Speaker
send a review and post that and then we get the permission for that. But other than that, while the group is going on, we don't disclose who is in the group at all. That's why on social media, I don't post anything about it except for what it is because I want to make sure that everybody feels extremely safe
00:09:21
Speaker
ourselves included, because we can hop in very often to and like share some things. And, you know, there's things that you just want to stay within that group and make it really safe and make it really vulnerable by see that that is really where the growth is happening.
Time Management and Accountability
00:09:36
Speaker
It is, and it's been really beautiful to watch the connections between the people in the group because we have a Facebook group that's a closed group on Facebook where they go and post their takeaways from the calls and any questions or struggles that they're going through so we can continue to be supportive in between the calls.
00:09:55
Speaker
And I've loved so much watching them connect in that group and on the calls to and then offer support and really it goes back to what we are trying what we need in our industry as a whole and what you and I are trying how that we're trying to create that change within the industry of
00:10:14
Speaker
community over competition always because like you said, it can feel so isolating. But we're really all going through the same thing and having some accountability partners or just support or somebody to talk to about what we're going through is so massively important. And it's just been really fun to watch.
00:10:38
Speaker
And I know without a doubt, the group isn't or this mastermind isn't done yet. But if you can like think back to any training you've ever done, and you remember, like who you did that training with, because you can kind of connect on that intimate level. And I know that these people in this group are going to take, you know, the value they take from the group, but continue that relationship with each other long after the group is over.
00:11:03
Speaker
So I love that. It's just so good. So the reason why I think we had such a huge transformation on this last call was because it was about time management. And I learned so much from that call. It was a really interesting experience because
00:11:22
Speaker
The call before was when we were basically just sharing what has worked for us in the past, what doesn't work for us, why we realized time management is so important. And we basically just asked everybody to kind of ruminate on that, think on it. And then, and really, actually, I guess we started that conversation, the call prior to that. Yeah, I should say that a two-part. Yeah, I should preface that by saying that.
00:11:51
Speaker
The calls basically, we start with these types of subjects, especially time management, because we're kind of building that foundation. And we have to build the foundation of how we're going to accomplish everything else. We don't just jump into talking about
00:12:13
Speaker
building our Google page and getting more clients in the door and event like we don't just jump into that we actually work on building a foundation first because those things come later after a foundation is
00:12:25
Speaker
better built. And so this time management conversation has been going on for a while. And it was interesting because I think that we did kind of feel on the, not this past call, but the call before where we were a little bit like, how was this received is because time management is a weird subject and it can be kind of daunting. And it's really vulnerable because I think we all have our struggles with it. So we had basically suggested
00:12:56
Speaker
a couple of things that we kind of went around the group and said, what has worked for you in the past? What are some tips and tricks? Where are you struggling with time management? And why do you feel like that is leaking into other parts of your life? And we were really just sharing experiences about time management. I shared some of my time management things that I do. Tiff shared some of hers.
00:13:17
Speaker
And we did kind of leave that call like, how was that even received? Well, it was received really well, because then over the next two weeks, there was a major transformation that happened. And it did for me too, because I took some of their tips away and started honing in my own time management. And I felt so much more confident, like I felt so much more confident
00:13:44
Speaker
not so overwhelmed because i was trusting myself to get these things done and just creating more like space for myself and then it was interesting when we got in the call because that was everybody's feedback they're like.
00:14:00
Speaker
Everyone is so much brighter and lighter and less overwhelmed because we all kind of tackled and tried some of these time management things and it made a massive difference. And and then Tiff and I were just talking about like.
00:14:16
Speaker
We took so much away from that too, and we always do too. We're learning right alongside with them, and that's why we call it mastermind and coaching. But the topic of time management, I actually do want to talk about this for a second and give people some of the things that we had talked about, some of the things that we've tried.
00:14:37
Speaker
and what the group is trying. And the first one that I have suggested and what I suggested in the group is to actually track your time. And so it's kind of interesting because, you know, if you
00:14:52
Speaker
You just need to bring awareness to it. You need to bring awareness to what you're actually doing in your day and where your time is actually going because until you... I think we all have an idea in our heads. We're like, I scroll too much, or I'm watching too much TV, or I'm doing this. We think that we know, but when we actually sit down and track our day,
00:15:16
Speaker
it. You don't really know. And when I say track your time, I'm not at all saying create a schedule for yourself and follow it. No, I am saying get a piece of paper or get on Etsy and find just a cheap like day planner that has the
00:15:31
Speaker
hours written out and as you go throughout your day having just a normal day like you normally would write down what you're doing all the time throughout the day so that then you're able to reflect back on it and say I need to tweak this or I love that I do this. This is really working for me. This is not. Here's where I can make those changes and I don't think you need to do that every day. I think you need to do it twice per week for a couple of weeks
00:15:58
Speaker
and pick some days that are different types of days, right? So pick a day that maybe you are working in the business, but then also pick a day that you are not. Or maybe pick like your day that you have set aside for admin, and then a day that maybe you're in the treatment room, you guys get to just pick different types of days. And it's just to show you
00:16:21
Speaker
what is actually happening within your day so that then you are able to actually create a better schedule for yourself because you now have awareness about what your days are currently looking like. Yeah. And it gives you awareness on, you know, if you come in with a mindset like I don't have the time to get any of this done, tracking your time, tracking a couple of days over the course of a couple of weeks can help you really realize like I'm wasting so much time doing this.
00:16:49
Speaker
Yes. Or I'm definitely not spending the time that I feel like I am on this task that I'm trying to get done. And it really is just awareness. And when you do track your time, try to do it without any judgment or guilt or criticism. I think that's very important. It's truly just awareness. And then we can implement some tips down the road once you're aware of where your time is being spent. Absolutely.
00:17:18
Speaker
I didn't track my time, did you? No, I didn't. Also though, I feel like you and I both are very aware of where our time is, and our time is pretty tracked for us anyways. I mean, I've got a schedule.
00:17:35
Speaker
every day. At the same time, though, I did implement some time tracking tips that we talked about. And those were game changers for me to tell everybody what our favorite one is that was like mind blowing, setting a timer for yourself. So smart.
00:17:54
Speaker
And this was a suggestion from someone in our group. She said that she sets a timer for say, I don't remember what the exact time was, but she's like, I'll set a 30 minute timer and I'm going to work on social media content. And when that 30 minute timer is up, then I can move on to my next task or if I'm feeling really in it, I'll extend it a little bit, but setting a freaking timer for yourself.
00:18:18
Speaker
Why have we never thought of that before? That just blows my mind. Have you tried setting a timer? Absolutely. Literally, immediately. As soon as I said that, I was like, oh my gosh, yes. Because I'm like you, my schedule's made for the entire week, and I evaluate it every single day because things are always changing.
00:18:40
Speaker
So my schedule is already made, but I do struggle to stick with that schedule. And so I was like, duh. When I need to sit down and actually make my calendar for the coming months and schedule my trainings with my spa partners, I do. I'm like, okay. So for the next 45 minutes, I am going to
00:19:01
Speaker
do nothing but work on my training schedule or you know different things like that it really helped me to just follow through on a task because it was like okay I'm gonna do this for this amount of time and then I'm gonna go eat and then I'm going to move on to this and
00:19:17
Speaker
And then you can't really get distracted like you're timing yourself, right? You're going against the clock. You're going against the clock. And so it's like so much accountability and so much focus can happen when you just set a timer for yourself, which just seems like duh, but it is such a game changer, especially like here's a conversation I actually had with one of our friends yesterday.
00:19:41
Speaker
I think beauty professionals, what we really need to realize and what I've observed over my years of working with them so closely is that we think from our right brain, right? Am I right? It's the right brain. Yeah. We might have to check on that, but I'm pretty sure.
00:20:16
Speaker
admin tasks and taxes and finances and all of these other things. That's very difficult for us. And so I think it's those types of things that need to be scheduled out, set a timer, work on it. And that is where everybody's confidence is coming from is that I'm like when you actually have these tasks scheduled out,
00:20:27
Speaker
We think from one side of the brain.
00:20:34
Speaker
And if you need to set a timer to do that, and now you're actually getting those done, of course you're gonna feel more confident. And you're always gonna feel more confident when you trust yourself to follow through on the things that need to get done. And when you take all, like I think the problem for us also when we are more right brained is, is it right? Yeah, so right brain is more emotional, intuitive and creative. And the left brain is that more analytical,
00:21:02
Speaker
critical thinking side. So yes. He woke up. Hi, Milo. He's a big fat. He's huge, I know.
00:21:11
Speaker
huge who's grown into his big boy paws for sure. But I think that that is where the confidence comes from is that all of a sudden when we have like a rough schedule, a rough idea of what is needing to be done and then it's on our calendar and we're following through on that or switching it around, it just takes away that overwhelm and creates much confidence because you really trust yourself that
00:21:35
Speaker
These things are going to get done and you're not storing it all in your brain like most right brain people want to do. The other thing that we recommend doing is a constant brain dump and keeping an ongoing list. If you're one of my spot partners, whenever I'm working with you, if you need something,
00:21:57
Speaker
I immediately pull out my phone and say, I just need to write this down because I always have an ongoing list. And that list is what I then take and put into my schedule. And so I mean, who's not going to have more confidence when you're like, am I forgetting something? Am I? Because you're brain dumping and you actually are getting what is in your head out on paper, and then you're creating a schedule around it. And of course, you're going to feel 1,000 times better.
00:22:26
Speaker
And if you're anything like me, I can get consumed from that overwhelm and those hard tasks that I don't want to do. They absolutely consume me and then they can detour me. And then I just like go into shutdown mode and I have a hard time really doing anything because I'm like, okay, I say it's like a taxing. I have to get this done today. I have to get it, you know, and then I just kind of spiral, but setting that timer and being like, I've got 45 minutes to do this.
00:22:54
Speaker
You do it. You're working against the clock because, and it's helping you stay on task and focus. And then you do it. And then like you said, your brain, you just offloading that out of your brain and getting that task done, builds more confidence. You feel accomplished. And it just like takes that physical weight that maybe you've been carrying off. And then you just feel like freer. And the brain dumping has been so powerful for me. So that's something that I implemented too, when that came up in the group. And I know that was your idea.
00:23:24
Speaker
is to like sit down on a Sunday, Sunday night and write down everything that you're storing in your brain before your coming week. And that's been so powerful. And mostly I've been able because I did it Sunday night and then Monday I crossed off I think all but two things.
00:23:42
Speaker
And I had two pages full of just brain dump stuff that I've been storing and carrying around with me, thinking about letting you consume me. And I was able to get it done mostly the next day. And I was able to have grace for myself for those two things that I didn't get done to shift it to a later time during the week. And I want you to share with everybody though, your, your tip that you said about brain dumping and the hard tasks.
00:24:09
Speaker
That's funny that you say that because I was going to ask you your thoughts about that. I do recommend getting those hard tasks out of the way as soon as possible, especially preferably on a Monday. Because in that way, you can just enjoy the rest of your week and there's nothing, hopefully nothing in your week that you're just dreading doing because you just already got it taken care of as soon as possible. Is that what you mean?
00:24:33
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. And I will say that I agree getting those hard tasks done as soon as possible, get them off your list, offload them so you have some ease the rest of your week. Also though, one thing that I noticed just personally about myself is I had probably a dozen tiny little tasks
00:24:53
Speaker
that weren't a big deal, but collectively they felt like a big task. And then I had a couple of big tasks on there that were going to be really time consuming and I knew I needed that focus to get them done. So I just did all of those little tasks.
00:25:10
Speaker
and got those done so that I could focus and have my energy on the big tasks that we're going to need more of my attention and my energy. And so I think it could go either way, but I do really agree. Like if you, you know, you've got just some crummy stuff on your list that you're dreading, get it done. Like rip the band-aid off.
00:25:31
Speaker
get it done if you can and yeah, I feel a lot better. Yeah, I do agree with either or because there's definitely times like right now I have a really long list, but they're very small tasks that honestly, if I were to just set a timer for an hour, they'll probably all get done and then that will condense my list and then I'll be able to put a little bit more energy on those tasks that are just a little bit bigger.
00:25:56
Speaker
Yeah, I think either way, both methods are great. Do whatever works best for you. The other thing that I want to add about this as well is that
00:26:13
Speaker
the harmony I think that it creates in your life because you're a lot more able to separate your work and your home and your personal life because work is kind of taken care of, right? So it allows you to be home with your kids like watching TV or even, you know, I'm single. And so I love to come home after my meetings and sit on the couch for an hour.
00:26:37
Speaker
and do something really mindless to just kind of empty my brain, like just read a fiction book. Or I literally watch The Kardashians sometimes because I'm so entertained by them. I used to be so anti-Kardashian. You did? I'm so anti-Kardashian. And then I love them. I don't know, last year when, you know, life has been really hard. And I was like, I need to just lighten up. And so I turned on, I'm connected to my sister's
00:27:05
Speaker
Roku and she watches Kardashians. And so I just turned it on and I was like, wow, I'm oddly inspired and oddly entertained. Really strange. But I like to have time in my day where I feel like I can do that. And I'm not overwhelmed thinking, I really need to go sit down in my office and get all these things done. And so one thing that I love about time management is the harmony that it creates because
00:27:32
Speaker
It just frees up your mind that when you are out with your family, when you're out with your friends, when you are trying to relax at home, you actually can relax and just let go. Yeah. Because you know that work things are going, they're already on your schedule and you already know that you're going to take care of those things. You already kind of have that planned into your day. And so that's something too that one girl was talking about like time blocking.
00:28:02
Speaker
And it's kind of the same thing. It's like you have this blocked time where you're like, this is when I'm doing my admin. And then this blocked time is when I am responding to emails. This blocked time is when I'm sitting on my couch with my hubby watching a show. And it really helps alleviate the guilt from
00:28:23
Speaker
disconnecting, or just having those mindless activities, or spending time with your family, because you have a plan in place, you have a list of your to-dos, and you have time put into your schedule to get those to-dos done. And then because everybody, I can't stress this enough, everybody has to have that downtime where you're just not thinking, you're not doing, you're not on, you kind of just, it's like, it's an escape a little bit. And I think for our brains,
00:28:52
Speaker
to come back on stronger and better. We do have to disconnect in some way. Yes. But it does alleviate the guilt. And that's really what I noticed more probably than anything is when I did disconnect, when I did turn on the TV, or I am almost ashamed to say this out loud, but I re-downloaded Candy Crush last week on my phone. And it's been
00:29:15
Speaker
It's been fun. It's also probably not a great idea because it's a little bit addicting, but I haven't felt bad about it. I'm just having those little 20-minute increments to just zone out, think about nothing else, and I'm not feeling guilty because I have all this shit to do that I'm not doing. Yes. I couldn't agree more. I don't think it matters what it is. If you want to play Candy Crush, if you want to watch The Kardashians, if you want to read a fiction book, if you want to
00:29:40
Speaker
You know, go for a quick walk if you want to scroll on Instagram for 30 minutes without feeling guilty about it. It's okay, because we know that we're going to get all these other important things done. And I think you could not be more right. You have to turn yourself off for a minute. You have to just shut everything else out every single day.
00:30:05
Speaker
and that's so
Balancing Work and Personal Life
00:30:06
Speaker
important. You don't need to be on all the time. We are human beings. We are not human doings and there has to be that harmony in your life where you're like going on a beautiful drive throughout the country because that's just what you want to do and it feels really good for you and you're not thinking about anything else. Yeah. It's so important. It's like that saying that I've seen. It's probably a meme or something that says to like
00:30:30
Speaker
reset yourself, you have to unplug yourself. You do. It's kind of like an electronic that's glitching out and it's not working right. And then you unplug it for 30 minutes and plug it back in. And it's, it's better. Yes. Kind of same thing. I love that. That's so beautiful. We aren't he or we are human beings. We aren't human doings. Yeah. That's powerful. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:52
Speaker
It was kind of like sometimes I feel like I can get too caught up in self-development podcasts and books to the point where
00:31:02
Speaker
Nothing's even being implemented because I'm taking too much in. You also have to take breaks from those types of things. You have to take a break from your business sometimes. You have to take a break from learning. You have to take a break from all the stuff that you're taking in and just go on a trip and listen to music instead. Yeah, exactly.
00:31:23
Speaker
That's so important too. And I think that's a really good point to bring up because I find myself in that same space sometimes where I'm just constantly consuming because I constantly want to learn and I constantly want to better myself. At the same time, I'm not even giving myself any pause for where I've come. You know, the tools that I am implementing, it's just always like we talked about, you're chasing that dangling carrot for the next thing.
00:31:50
Speaker
And it can be a little, it can be a little bit toxic if you don't check yourself and if you don't disconnect. I mean, like on vacation or go outside, like you said, outside's a big one. Get some fresh air, some sunshine. You guys, can we just talk about spring? Let's talk about it.
00:32:08
Speaker
So I was thinking this morning, actually winter went by really fast for me for the first time in my life, not the first time in my life. Moving back to Idaho is just a really big adjustment. And these last few winters, I've really struggled. They have just felt so dang long. But this winter, I'm like, wow, that actually didn't bother me too much. I probably just had too many other things that were going on. But I tell you what, as soon as the sun started to come out, oh, you sent me something.
00:32:36
Speaker
this week about our mental health. Yeah, like the sun came out for an hour and I am no longer. Oh, it's so true, though. I don't know. And I saw somebody else post the other day that said is like the sun is now my personality. And I think that's all of us and I could not be more true.
00:32:59
Speaker
It's just such, oh, it's like, it's validating for me that I'm not crazy and I'm not losing my mind because all I needed was a little bit of vitamin D and some sunshine and to just actually see the blue sky and to know that like everything blooms again, including myself. Spring is just a beautiful time to remind ourselves that, you know, we kind of have to weather the storms and even in the darkest of hours, the sun will rise again and light will come.
00:33:29
Speaker
And yeah. Did you see what I posted on my story last weekend after I went on a hike? I don't think so. You guys, I went on one of my favorite hikes last weekend. I really focused on pouring into myself, which we can get into that and be vulnerable if we want to. But I was on my favorite hike, and I had been sitting down on top of not quite the mountains, mostly just in the foothills.
00:33:58
Speaker
I was like praying and just enjoying the view, doing a little meditation, just thinking and closing my eyes. And then I opened my eyes and realized that like just sitting next to me was a pile of cow poop like an old cow pie with deer poop on it and yellow flowers growing out of it.
00:34:19
Speaker
Oh my gosh. I mean, come on. I was like, if these cute little yellow flowers can grow out of double layer poop, we can too. It's hilarious and it's so valid.
00:34:37
Speaker
Yeah, because isn't that all of us? It is. I mean, at some point, probably daily, we all probably feel like shit. I know I do. Also, you're right. If those cute little flowers, beautiful, you know, nature is amazing. And we're part of it too. Yeah. And we're human. And it's just like, I think we're all weathering some hard stuff.
Personal Struggles and Gratitude Practices
00:35:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:04
Speaker
But those little glimpses actually mean so much. And I think we need to talk about them too with each other. And that's like, it's just where you and I are at. And that's what this podcast is about. And we're growing through a lot of poop right now. A lot of freaking poop.
00:35:24
Speaker
We really are. And yeah, I would love to talk about it. I feel like I am in the hardest place in my life that I've ever been. But over the last couple of weeks, I've kind of come to an interesting conclusion that you can be in pain, you can have a broken heart, you can be going through poop. And at the same time, experience joy. Yeah.
00:35:48
Speaker
and light, it can coincide together. And I think that's a little bit different than living in an energy of grief. I mean, the truth is that I have been dead inside for a long time.
00:36:02
Speaker
I think when we found out in August that my brother's cancer was back, and then we went through another surgery, we knew that this was for real terminal sooner than we ever wanted it to be. And then we went through that.
00:36:21
Speaker
I went through another really hard thing I don't really want to touch on too much but you know I'm experiencing some abandonment and then intimate relationship that's been a little bit shocking to my system and hard to wrap my mind around and then in October
00:36:39
Speaker
my cat, who is my soulmate fur baby, all of a sudden ended up in the ICU and died four months later. She died just over a month ago. And so I feel like since August, I slowly have just died inside. And it probably started sooner, like in July.
00:37:00
Speaker
I think intuitively, I just knew that things were on a downward turn. With my brother, with my relationship, with my cat, all of a sudden, I remember exactly when it happened. Ever since then, things were really on a downward spiral and I really have felt dead inside. I've known it and it's been interesting because I will see
00:37:22
Speaker
like glimpses of joy. They're very few and far between. I would just have moments where I was like, Oh, actually, things are really good. And then I would just fall back into being like pretty dead inside, but able to continue kind of moving forward, but not fully, you know, almost in survival mode, I'm kind of checking boxes and
00:37:42
Speaker
Still getting some fulfillment, especially out of work. I feel like no matter what's going on in my life, I get so much love and fulfillment out of my work. But I did. I felt like I was just kind of checking boxes and definitely not thriving, nor did I have a lot of desire. And like I said, I would see glimpses of it.
00:38:05
Speaker
And then I got in well I think having a kitten hopes. I think having like Milo has been the biggest blessing in my life like Milo has brought so much light and joy back into my life and has brought in this huge playful energy.
00:38:26
Speaker
really lightened everything up for me. But I got in a car accident a couple of weeks ago and it was a really interesting experience because it was almost like the icing on the cake. So my brother is dying now. My brother is on hospice and it's so bad and it's
00:38:48
Speaker
It's a horrible experience. It is a really horrible experience. And my grandma now actually is probably going to die soon as well, which this grandma has been a little bit more shocking for me because we thought she would outlive all of us. Like she's so healthy. She's so active as well as my grandpa that it's a little bit harder to grasp that versus my other grandma who passed last year who was ready.
00:39:13
Speaker
Yeah. But I got into this car accident and it wasn't anything crazy. I was on the freeway on my way to my little sister's baby shower. She's having another baby probably within the next six weeks or so.
00:39:29
Speaker
And I was really looking forward to just celebrating something positive, right? With everything else going on and everything that I've been going through, I was like, this is going to be so nice. The sun is shining. I'm going to have a nice drive. I'm taking Milo to meet my family because we were all very sad over the loss of my other cat.
00:39:48
Speaker
I was so looking forward to that and literally before I even got out of town, before I even got out of the freaking city, a car would not stop moving into my lane. They just were not paying attention. I'm going like 85 miles an hour. I had to make a hard left and almost rolled, came off the ground and everything, lost control of the vehicle, but luckily slammed into the guardrail.
00:40:12
Speaker
And I was fine and Milo was fine and got home. I slept for the rest of the day. I talked to Tiffany for a minute and we had a really good conversation. And then I woke up the next day and deep cleaned my house.
00:40:28
Speaker
and woke up the next Monday morning just feeling like myself again all of a sudden. It was a really weird experience because it was like I just needed to be jolted back to life somehow. And I wouldn't even say that it was the realization of, wow, that could have been so much worse. It was just like there was some sort of an impact that happened when I slammed into that guardrail and went through whatever that did to me internally that just like shook me up
00:40:59
Speaker
but it somehow just placed me into a really good place. Do you think it's like snapped you out of where you were at and brought you back? I do. Yeah, it was just a, and I don't know how, I don't know how that works, but when you get into a car accident, it jars you, especially because I was terrified because I was actually
00:41:20
Speaker
Blocking the far left lane I wasn't fully over onto the median because it's really close where that guardrail was it just like slammed me into it and then I was stuck and I didn't know if my car was drivable and so I almost got hit multiple times and I could have just I I would have died it had the car rolled like going 85 miles an hour or
00:41:42
Speaker
If those people who are coming up on me wouldn't have seen me, luckily they all did. But I'm talking semis coming at me going 80 miles an hour, just noticing me at the last minute and being able to get over. And then luckily my car was drivable, and so I was able to move. But whenever you're in an accident, it just jars your energy. That does something to you. And then I think just the feeling of,
00:42:11
Speaker
one more thing is really where I was at. And you know that. It was like, Oh my gosh, why? You know, like one more thing, are you truly not just going through enough already? Like, and it's big things in my life. These are not little things. And there's also so much going on with work right now that's really stressful.
00:42:32
Speaker
in one aspect of one of my businesses. And I was like, I really don't need one more thing on my plate. But I had to decide that it didn't need to be a thing. And so first thing Monday morning, I filed the claim right away and figured out a rental car. And first thing that Monday morning, I got my car in to go get fixed. I think it will be done actually today or tomorrow. It took out my whole driver's side.
00:42:58
Speaker
But it's just panels that have to be replaced like both doors, bumper, front bumper and rear bumper and one of the rims. But it, you know, I just had to decide that I, I didn't need to let this affect me and not only this, but all of it.
00:43:19
Speaker
Yeah. All of it. I kind of got back into a place where I was like, I can't control any of these things that are happening. Like my brother is going to die any day and I have no control over that. I lost my cat. I did. And it's been horrible, but I can't bring her back. Like I can't change that. Yeah. No. And once you get into an energy of
00:43:40
Speaker
These things are really hard and they're horrible and it's hard to comprehend and it's hard to wrap your mind around them, but I don't need to. All that I need to do is to decide what good can come out of these situations, like what can I create due to these things that are happening.
00:43:59
Speaker
Instead of sitting in this suffering, martyr, grief, dead inside energy and thinking, this is so horrible, this is so horrible.
00:44:13
Speaker
you can do that all you want, but eventually you're going to have to snap out of it and move, figure out how to move forward and move forward in the best way possible. And sometimes that looks different, you know, day to day, but, um, that's kind of where I'm at with everything right now. And so that's, you know, when I was on that hike, I, you know, that's when I was like, wow, I get to decide like if flowers can grow out of two layers of poop,
00:44:39
Speaker
I can do this too and that's okay. And also realizing like, I think this is kind of important to share actually, but so last weekend I was invited to go be with my brother and I spent, I do spend time with him because I work there too, right? And so I had actually just been there about a week and a half or so prior and spent a lot of time with him. And I was invited to go back last weekend, but it was after
00:45:06
Speaker
I was feeling so good and I was feeling really positive and handling things really well and feeling like myself again and I actually decided not to go. That's interesting. Yeah. And a really hard decision. A really hard decision. I had that conversation with my mom and she was like, you should come down because everybody else is going to be here. And I went on a walk and I was like, I can't.
00:45:35
Speaker
Yeah. I can't because now that I feel really good and feel like I'm moving forward in the most positive way possible and being able to tackle things, I'm getting my confidence back. I was like, I don't think it's actually going to be healthy for me at this point to go down there when I know that to him,
00:45:59
Speaker
he doesn't care. He's really far gone, but he also feels really neutral about our family and he's very concerned about his family. I was like, I don't think that that is going to be a healthy thing for me to do, to go sit on his couch and look at him suffer while my dad feeds him like a baby.
00:46:21
Speaker
Yeah. And I know that's really heavy to say, but it's the truth. And I just felt like I need to protect my energy and pour into my cup finally because I have been suffering so much. And I said, you know what? I have a massage booked on Sunday that I'm really looking forward to. The weather here is so beautiful and I haven't been out on like a good long hike that filled my soul in months. And I need to stay.
00:46:49
Speaker
And I need to prepare for the travel that I already have coming up, I'm going to be there, you know, in a week and a half anyways. And I was just there. And so I was in a place where I was able to just make that decision with confidence, even though it was hard and say, you know what, I actually need to pour into my cup because I'm going to need some reserves anyways, you know, I'm going to have to face that when it does happen. And I'm going to need some reserves and some strength.
00:47:19
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think it's interesting to touch on your ability to recognize where you're at and to have that wake up. I will call it a wake up call or that jolt that you had and to know that where you're at ultimately wasn't serving your higher purpose. Yeah. And it's interesting to think about
00:47:44
Speaker
Just having that Joel and knowing that that was probably your higher self and the divine and whatever else. Yeah Helping you come out of that and it it's I think it's so important to recognize when we need to protect our energy like you did and that's a hard thing to do because it it probably was disappointing to some of your family or for you to Which is good that wasn't they don't care
00:48:12
Speaker
while there's a difference when I work there, right? And my mom said the same thing. She's like, you work here, you're here, you know, all the time, and not everybody is, you know, and you're traveling a lot as it is. So it really doesn't make a difference. And the other thing is that
00:48:28
Speaker
you know, it's not for we're not spending time with him for him. Yeah, even my mom, she's like, I'm a selfish reason. Yeah, exactly. My mom was like, I'm here for me. I need this. This is my son. This is my best friend. This is for me. I don't think he cares if I'm here. And it's interesting to because I didn't tell you this, but
00:48:49
Speaker
I did go sit with him for about five hours a couple of weeks ago when I was in Utah. I remember before I picked up Milo, I had attended my trip because someone needed to go be at the house with him and the kids because his wife, she got Broadway tickets and we wanted her to have the night off.
00:49:07
Speaker
And my sister went to San Diego. She needed some time away. And so I was like, yeah, I'll go sit with him for sure. Like I'll go spend some time with him. And it was such a neutral energy. Like I could just tell that he was so neutral about it. He
00:49:25
Speaker
we probably didn't even appreciate having me there. He just felt really neutral because he just sleeps all the time anyways. And that's when I was like, you know what? I am not doing this for him. This doesn't change our relationship whatsoever. It's not making any difference if I'm here or if I'm not here, but I'm here for me because I like seeing him. I like just watching him sleep and watching him be at peace and having that time with him.
00:49:55
Speaker
Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I need to do it all the time either because that's not good for me either. So once I was like, oh, he actually I can tell that I knew he felt really neutral. And the other thing that I just have to say is that I was there for the surgeries and I was there for the conversations with him about his funeral and about passing and his plans and what he wants and how he's feeling about our family, which is neutral and how he's feeling about his family, which is not neutral. He's very concerned.
00:50:24
Speaker
I've been there through all of this. And so do I think it's important for me to go sit there with him while he is suffering? Actually, no, I don't. No. And like you said, you are going to need some reserves because you know what's coming and probably soon in a sense. And I think it's just important
00:50:44
Speaker
your experience is important for all of us to hear that we have to, have to, have to fill our own cup first in order to give to our family and the ones we love and others and our work and our clients and our business. I mean, it goes on and on and on. But if we're not taking care of ourselves and protecting our energy and making sure that we are okay, then we're, I mean, that's how, you know, we spiral. That's how we get sick. That's how we shut down.
00:51:13
Speaker
That's how we have outbursts and get angry. And that's, you know, me personally, you know, I just let it filter and then it just has to explode. And then it's usually, you know, directed in the wrong way. It's so true. And I think it's just a, if anybody, you're such a great testament of how to handle that. Um, because man, that is so hard and heavy.
00:51:37
Speaker
But for you to be able to recognize it in the midst of your grief and in the midst of that heavy stuff and all of the extra things on top of it that are making it harder is, I wouldn't say beautiful, but it's just like really inspiring.
00:51:52
Speaker
Well, and that's why I wanted to share it because I have had this conversation with many people and it's helped a lot of people because I know that a lot of us, I actually don't know anybody who is not going through a hard time, maybe like one person I can think of, but most people that I know are going through some of the hardest times of their lives and we all deal with it very differently, you know, but if I can help somebody
00:52:20
Speaker
in some way, even if that is just that, hey, you know what? You're going to come out of this at some point. So just have faith in that and allow yourself to just be where you are right now. Or, hey, look at all of this garbage that I'm going through in such a short amount of time.
00:52:42
Speaker
yet I'm still moving forward, right? I allow myself to grieve and sleep all day if that's what needs to happen, but I'm still waking up every single day and showing up for myself and my life.
00:52:57
Speaker
in the best way that I can. And so if I can set that example to people and just inspire people even in the smallest ways that life really can be this awful yet at the same time, my heart is very full and gratitude is the key. I remember when the cat passed and I was talking to my mom and she said that,
00:53:25
Speaker
So my aunt lost her husband. So my uncle, he passed in December of 2020. And she said that how she got through it is through gratitude. And so my mom, she told me that the day that my cat passed away because she really was my world. Like my cat,
00:53:46
Speaker
had been with me for 11 years, she was a rescue, but we really just saved each other. I mean, she really came into my life during a time that I needed her the most. And I've never experienced that love or connection, even with a human that I had with her. And so it was the most significant loss of my life. And so when my mom said that, and she was like, you will get through this with gratitude, and it will make everything better, you know, and you just, you need to feel what you feel. And at the same time,
00:54:17
Speaker
you have so much to be grateful for the life that you had with her, you know, and that's never going to end. And so I think that even just having like a really dedicated gratitude practice or multiple gratitude practices, really can turn everything on its head to the point where you're like, this is hard, this sucks, my heart is in pieces.
00:54:38
Speaker
And at the same time, there's light filtering in due to my heart being in pieces. And I need to recognize that too, because they can both be happening at the same time. Yeah, because that gratitude will carry you. It does. And I think it's just so important to like, stay grateful for in all circumstances, good, bad, hard, messy.
00:55:03
Speaker
And I love, can you share with us what your gratitude practices are? Absolutely, and I want you to share yours too. So I've had gratitude practices for probably going on 11 years now, like pretty solid. And number one is prayer. So my prayer is probably different than what a lot of people's prayer is. I pray twice per day, as soon as I get in bed, and then every single morning after I make my coffee, it's the first thing that I do.
00:55:32
Speaker
But my prayers are actually just everything that I'm grateful for. So I wake up in the morning and I just go through a list of everything that I am so grateful for. And then before I go to bed at night, I actually go back through my entire day and everything that I'm grateful for. And it's small things and it's huge things. And those are my main gratitude practices. But you know, because I sent you a gratitude journal that I also have
00:56:00
Speaker
a gratitude journal, and we'll put the link in the show notes. You guys, I probably do have like 15 of these that I have gone through. It just takes about five minutes every day.
00:56:15
Speaker
So it's a book and I just get it on Amazon. I think it's like $9 and on the left side you fill out in the morning and then on the right side you either fill out that night. I actually fill it out the next morning because I kind of like to go back through the day before and think about it before I then move forward with my day. And that has been huge for me like getting that all down on paper and you want to know what this is like kind of a random thing to say but there's a lot of gratitude journals out there that don't have enough space in the gratitude section.
00:56:44
Speaker
You ever noticed? I'm like, what is wrong with you? You're giving me like only three things to be grateful for? No. So this gratitude journal, the reason why I always go back to it, because I've ordered other ones and I'm immediately disappointed. It's just a huge section for everything that you're grateful for. And so as you're writing, you have more and more space to fill up. And I actually think that that's kind of key.
00:57:10
Speaker
Yeah, and once you start going, I've noticed it builds on itself. And having that space is absolutely key so that you can recognize what you're grateful for and where you're at, but it does build on itself. And you're right, you get to the end of that space and you're like, but I have more to say and be grateful for and to put on paper.
00:57:31
Speaker
And I'm a huge believer in the power of putting things on paper anyways, but I love The Gratitude Journal because it does give you prompts instead of just like any journal would work, any notebook would work if you wanted to just write down the things that you're grateful for. But I do really like The Gratitude Journal because it does give you prompts. It helps you kind of
00:57:50
Speaker
direct baby where your gratitude is and help you reflect and it reminds me I need to order another one because I filled that one up that you sent me but I did it every day until that book was full and it's been such a game changer and it helped me. I also pray. It really helped me reconnect spiritually though because I've always been a prayer but honestly the last couple years I've fallen away from it
00:58:16
Speaker
And I've really only used prayer as a tool when I am struggling deeply with something. But what's helped is when you sent me that gratitude journal, and then I started implementing that every single day, it really did help me reconnect spiritually and just re-practice praying. And I am the same. I pray every morning, and then I pray every night before bed. And another thing that I do to practice gratitude is when
00:58:44
Speaker
there's somebody in my life that I'm grateful for and they pop into my head, I will tell them and share that with them, big or small. And I try to do that often. And I feel like that's a prompt from another dimension that's needed, but that kind of, I just would like to think that that energy builds on itself too. And you never know what somebody else is going through. And by you sharing just your little gratitude of
00:59:12
Speaker
whatever it is, that they probably need that. And it comes back to you in other ways, probably more than you could even imagine. Yeah. So yeah, those are mine too. Yay. I love that.
00:59:28
Speaker
Okay, so I want to talk about you now and some things that are going on in your life.
Trusting Business Decisions
00:59:38
Speaker
So we talked just a couple of days ago about something really important in your business. And I know that you're open to sharing and talking about this. And I think it is so important to share with people what this process actually looked like for you. So I'm going to let you tell everybody.
00:59:58
Speaker
Okay, so a little backstory. In 2022, our business turned 10 years old.
01:00:08
Speaker
And I really wanted to celebrate that. And so we hosted a prom for women, a women's only prom. And we did it the same weekend that our town has their high school prom. So in April, at the end of April, and it was a really, really amazing, wonderful
01:00:29
Speaker
just experience for not only me, but for our community of women because I know I've always felt that you grow up and then you don't really have those opportunities to go out and dance and spend time with women without
01:00:48
Speaker
going to the bar and having that scene or, you know, we live in a small town and in a small place. And so we don't, we live in a big city where that kind of stuff generally happens. So, and it was a formal event. It was really great. And looking back,
01:01:05
Speaker
at the time, it was truly a celebratory experience because I was so proud of myself and our team and for what we built in 10 years is a big deal. And I really wanted to celebrate that. And so
01:01:19
Speaker
went great. It was so much fun. And then last year in 2023, we hosted it again because it was such a big success and everybody had so much fun. Um, you know, I got the request for this has to be, you know, we got it. I can't wait for next year and all of that feedback. So then I was like, great. We'll do, we'll have an annual event. It'll be once a year where women can get together and dance and just have fun without fear of judgment or that pressure
01:01:48
Speaker
Anyways.
01:01:50
Speaker
So we did it last year. It was still a really big success, but it felt like a lot more work on my end. And I do know why, but I didn't know why at the time. And then, so this year, I was like, last fall, I'm going to get ahead of this. I'm going to put all of the plans in place. I'm going to put some deposits down so that when the time comes for prom, it's not going to be as much work as it was that second year for us, which would have been last year.
01:02:20
Speaker
And so I did, and we booked a DJ out of Twin Falls who's really great, put a deposit down with him. I got my venue, got my reservation for the venue, met with our decorator who does all of the decorating and the drinks and the food. We had a plan in place, got all of my marketing done, and it has been done since November. And honestly, my energy surrounding the whole event has been non-existent.
01:02:49
Speaker
And I really have been wondering why all this time. And I was just like, hmm, I don't, for one, feel like dancing in the last two years. I have. I haven't even bought a dress. I don't even know what I want to wear. I don't want to talk about it. It's just my energy has been not even low. It's just not even been there, which was interesting because I'm like, huh, that's so weird. I'm usually so excited for prom.
01:03:16
Speaker
And I fully know and have been aware that everyone else's energy within the community has been non-existent about it too because of my own. So I have been aware of that. And we put tickets on sale last November. We've done all the right things. Our ticket sales were way down. Here we are March and we still
01:03:41
Speaker
haven't sold very many tickets. And then some things have started happening with all the reservations we put in place just the last couple weeks. So the reservation for our venue, they've had some drama with that venue and the director was actually fired. And then we've heard about it in the community. It was in the newspaper and it had me thinking like, I should probably call and make sure our reservation is still
01:04:08
Speaker
you know, in place. And I called last week and really there's nobody in charge because that director was fired suddenly. And the lady I talked to was so nice. And she was just like, uh, yeah, we don't, well, you don't know. I don't have your reservation down. We have to take it to the board of directors and have this event approved. Um, that price that he quoted you is probably not for reserving the venue. Um, going to be accurate.
01:04:35
Speaker
It absolutely tailspinned me into so much stress because I've already been stressed about this event. To be perfectly transparent, I've been so stressed about the cost of the event.
01:04:50
Speaker
And I've even done more planning leading up to it. I put deposits down. I've planned a budget for it. And I haven't even done that in years past. I've still been so stressed about the cost of it. And so with our venue up in the air, and I still haven't, I need to call actually today. It reminds me, I haven't heard back from where she was supposed to meet with the board this week and let me know. So anyways, that's where I was at. And then I realized just a couple of days ago,
01:05:19
Speaker
that this event is no longer in alignment with my vision.
01:05:24
Speaker
for myself and my business because I was like, I don't understand. I was so excited that first year. It went smoothly. It was wonderful. I didn't have to beg people to buy tickets. I didn't have to help get them excited. They were already excited. I was excited. I knew what I was going to wear. And then last year it was even harder. And then this year it's just been such a struggle for everything to come together and to put all these pieces together. And it felt like I was
01:05:53
Speaker
Forcing it and that's exactly what I was doing and that realization of It's no longer in alignment with my vision and I have to give credit to my personal business coach She helped me realize that because I was like telling her all these things and like I don't know what to do and deep down I told her I want to cancel the event even though we've sold tickets even though I put down non-refundable deposits I want to cancel and our event is a little over a month away and
01:06:22
Speaker
And I basically like poured my heart and soul out. And then I was like, okay. And it felt so vulnerable to say it out loud. And then she was like, Tiffany.
01:06:33
Speaker
It's not an alignment with your vision. I do my vision writing every morning. I know where I want to go and I know where I want my business to go and grow. It's not an alignment anymore and that's why my energy has been so off about it. Then it made so much sense to cancel it because if I can't put
01:06:54
Speaker
all of my effort and energy into something, then it's not worth doing. And it's not worth putting on this event for these women, where if I don't want to be there, you know, I can't I shouldn't ask them to be there and pay money to come. It's not worth it to financially pour money into this event. That's not going to bring us any money back.
01:07:17
Speaker
You know, it basically was just, it felt like an obligation and a cash suck. And I know that's hard to say out loud because this event has brought a lot of joy to a lot of women in our community and has brought so much joy to my life. And I'm so grateful for the events that, for the problems that we did have and put on. And I mean, not even going to 100% say we won't ever do one again, but this year it's just really not in alignment with my vision and my energy and where we're at.
01:07:46
Speaker
And it was, once I came to that realization, I already felt like 100 pounds lighter. And I hadn't even have told anybody yet except for you. And then I just like ripped it off like a Band-Aid. We have a VIP group on Facebook. I posted it in there.
01:08:06
Speaker
And I sent out an email to everybody who had purchased a ticket and let them know how they can claim their money that they spent on that ticket and I just like I don't need I'm not even sad about it and that's such validation for
01:08:27
Speaker
you know, making that decision. I didn't have, I wanna like really point out and really drive this home. I didn't have that validation come though until I made the decision. And it was a hard decision to make. And like I said, I'm not gonna get those deposits back and I'm okay with that. And I have to refund that money to the people that have bought tickets and I'm totally okay with that.
01:08:54
Speaker
and I still feel so much better and but it didn't that validation didn't come and that confidence didn't come until I like stood firmly in my decision and made that decision which is always interesting and or at least it is for me because it's so hard to trust yourself to make a decision that might not be popular probably won't be that's definitely going to be disappointing to some that a lot maybe it people don't understand
01:09:24
Speaker
it's so hard to stand firm in your decision. But once you do, that validation comes really quickly. And that usually always has for me. And so, and overall, I think everybody's been really understanding and supportive. And then I have so much gratitude for their response. Because really, that's what's my main worry is like, I'm letting everybody down, because we're not going to host the prom and have this event that they were looking forward to.
01:09:51
Speaker
everybody's been so kind. And I'm so grateful for that. And I just like my heart could burst and I could almost burst into tears that I'm so grateful that they've just been so loving, still supportive. And actually, it'll be okay. And actually, when the day I was struggling, I think it was Tuesday.
01:10:09
Speaker
about this decision. I was on Instagram and I know we've talked about Mel Robbins before. We love Mel Robbins and she was talking on a reel and basically her whole gist of it is like, it's not that deep. Did you see this one? No.
01:10:24
Speaker
You have to watch it when you get off. Basically, she said, what you're going through, and yes, it's hard. Yes, it's this. Yes, it's that. But really, at the end of the day, it's not that deep. And I really kind of held onto that because I was like, I'm carrying these emotions. And to everybody else, it's really probably not that deep. And it really wasn't.
01:10:47
Speaker
Yeah. And now it's funny too. Now that we've canceled, we've let everybody know my direction for my vision has so realigned and we've already like, I feel like made so much progress in like 24 hours of realigning the vision for the company and where we're going to go. And we have plans in place and I feel so excited about them. And yeah,
01:11:16
Speaker
Wow. I know. That is amazing. And I love everything about how that process works. Everything always works itself out far better. You know, we get so stuck about making things a bigger deal than they really need to be, right? But I always come back to alignment.
01:11:40
Speaker
and the whole energy of your business and understanding that your business does have its own energy and that when you're in alignment, you like everything's going to work out exactly like not even exactly how you want it to usually far better because you're so in alignment with your purpose and what you feel really called to do. And what's nice about that is that you can really feel when you're out of alignment and
01:12:09
Speaker
As soon as you bring things back into alignment, there's ease again.
01:12:13
Speaker
Yeah, can I say, so when I was like going through this really big struggle, and it's probably intuitively, I wasn't even aware that I was in the struggle, but looking back now, I was over the last several weeks about, you know, like not wanting to do prom anyways, as something else was falling into place and was 100% in alignment, and I didn't even realize it. Like if they were happening at the same time, but my energy was so focused,
01:12:41
Speaker
on trying to make this work and how I can make this work. I didn't even realize that like this was all falling perfectly into place at the same freaking time. It's so funny because now that you say that I can look back and I know what you're talking about and I can see that now too now that you say that and that is so interesting.
01:13:04
Speaker
the contrast because now it's clear as day to me too. Now I actually can totally see this entire situation and how much this other thing is in alignment and how much this other thing is not.
01:13:19
Speaker
I just have chills. I didn't even realize that until just now that you said that too. Wow. I know. And it's like, man, if I had just taken my energy that I was forcing and put it into this thing that was happening without me being really aware, I knew it was happening, but it was just happening by itself. Somebody else was driving that car over here while I was trying to get back on the road.
01:13:47
Speaker
and didn't have directions of how to do it but how much more could that have like been if my energy was where it should have been just a testament probably to all of us like when things feel forced when they don't feel right we can we can feel them in our system.
01:14:03
Speaker
We carry them. It's hard. It's like, yeah, you probably could make it work. And I could have. I definitely could have still made it work. I wouldn't have had the enjoyment out of it. I would have resented it. Everybody else would have definitely been able to feel my energy. And I think they have been anyways without me even knowing it. But when it's like this uphill battle that doesn't feel right within you, that's a big sign.
01:14:31
Speaker
that you're on the wrong path and you need to redirect. It's a hard thing to do though. It's really hard, but it's really empowering. Oh man, I don't know. I'm really excited.
01:14:46
Speaker
Oh, I'm excited for you and I think that is just something everybody needs to hear. Yeah. Especially if you own a business and you're pivoting and changing and growing and evolving, there are things that you have to let go of and you can't be afraid of disappointing people. That was the first thing I told you. I think I had lost service actually. You had responded and I responded. Anyways, I was like, you don't owe anything to anybody.
01:15:15
Speaker
No, you don't. And that's something that I think we need to like say out loud more so that we can remember it because as like, you know, people pleasers and as a statisticians who pour energy into our clients and our businesses, it can get really easy into thinking that we have to please everyone.
01:15:34
Speaker
Um, but that could not be farther from the truth. And really it starts with like your own alignment and filling your cup and pouring into yourself and making sure that you're in the right place in the right space in the right mindset and then acting and deciding and you know, all of the things from there, then you're really, um, you're coming from the right place. And, um, yeah.
01:16:03
Speaker
I'm sure we have more tools about how to like realign. Maybe we need a whole episode about that probably. Yeah. That's like a layered conversation. So layered. It's so layered. And I'm going through a lot of that right now too. And it's so stressful to let go of what's not working.
01:16:21
Speaker
it is because it's like a safety net too. You know it and you've done it. You know that it works. But when you're it's no longer an alignment with your vision and where you're going, that can be so hard and so scary. Yeah, I'm getting so you know, whenever I feel uncomfortable,
01:16:41
Speaker
I'm like, this is good. It's such an interesting place to be because, you know, it's like little things and big things. As soon as I start to feel discomfort, I'm like, Oh, I'm growing. It's okay. I'm growing and I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. It's so true, you guys. Like if you could get comfortably uncomfortable all the time, you will be like,
01:17:08
Speaker
So much better and farther than you could ever dream your dreams will come true. It's kind of like flexing your muscle when you're working out and you're like this is a good burn. I like really attribute it to that. Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:21
Speaker
Yeah, but man, it doesn't feel good when you're in it. But I think just knowing and it comes back to serving your higher purpose and doing your future self a favor, which you're a really big advocate for, is yes, it doesn't feel good. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's really hard to detach or
01:17:41
Speaker
let things go, but it can, oh, and that's something that I didn't bring up either. When I was really the day before I had made that decision, I had gone to bed and I prayed like my heart out and I just went to bed with a sense of if this is meant to be, it will come and it will flow. And if it's not, like I'm releasing it to the universe and what is meant to be will happen and how it transpired.
01:18:09
Speaker
obviously was what was meant to be. So I think that's important too. Just like releasing your white knuckle grip on things and having faith and trust and believing in the universe, just like working in your favor.
Gratitude and Community
01:18:26
Speaker
Absolutely. Yeah. I loved this episode. Should we end there? Yeah, we can. Or do you have anything else you want to add?
01:18:40
Speaker
I don't think so. Yeah. Those are really deep things. Yeah. Yeah. They are. Yeah. Thank you for sharing though. Absolutely. Yeah. I'm really comfortable talking about it actually now. Yeah. Cause I am in a good place. And so I'm not afraid to just put out those really vulnerable things anymore, especially because as I already have, I've helped a lot of people. So I'm like, you know what? It's,
01:19:07
Speaker
It's weird sometimes to go stand in front of a crowd of people like yesterday I did a huge presentation and I'm like, I don't know. I don't even know what these people know about me. I'm like, they either know nothing or they actually probably know more about me than.
01:19:22
Speaker
And I'd rather just not know who listens to my podcast sometimes. But at the same time, the more people that we can help through these hard processes of life and these good processes of life, that's truly what we're here to do. And I also just know that the hard things that we are going through, we are able to go through that, to conquer it, to have that experience and learn from it.
01:19:52
Speaker
turn around and reach your hand out and help other people who are going through the exact same thing. And that's the point of life. You know, I'm not, I don't believe necessarily that everything happens for a reason. I think a lot of things do, but I also believe that we can make positive reasons out of bad things that happen. You know what I mean? Because I think there's instances where
01:20:15
Speaker
Probably a lot of you need to hear this. When somebody goes through something like losing somebody or losing a pet or losing a job or whatever, we all automatically want to say everything happens for a reason. And to be honest with you, that's not helpful to say to people who are going through things like that. And I learned that a couple of years ago with my best friend who had lost her, basically her stepson. And I had seen her after not seeing her for a long time. And I was like, man,
01:20:45
Speaker
Life is so hard sometimes, and the shittiest things happen. And she was like, thank you so much. You're probably the first person who hasn't said, everything happens for a reason. And I was like, that's so true. And now that I'm going through all these horrible things, if somebody said that to me, I would probably punch them in the face. I'm like, there's an aspect of our lives that
01:21:12
Speaker
spiritually, these things have a bigger purpose that we just don't know. But to say that everything happens for a reason is not helpful. It's actually not very supportive. You're so much better off to just say, I'm thinking of you. Yeah. And I'm just here if you need anything and I'm praying for you and I'm just so sorry for the experience that you're having versus saying that everything happens for a reason, but
01:21:41
Speaker
it is up to us when we go through these things in our businesses, when we go through these things in our life, no matter the level of what you're experiencing, you do get to decide what you can make happen in a positive way because of these things that we go through. And that is one of the greatest points of life. And the more that you do that,
01:22:04
Speaker
the more you're able to help people and inspire people and lift other people up when they're going through hard things because life is never not going to throw you curve balls and be hard. Business is never going to not throw you curve balls and be hard. We just go through these seasons and
01:22:22
Speaker
So we're so grateful that you guys are here and that we know that we can be vulnerable and that it's helpful for you guys. We hope. And I just feel like we do get more comfortable with it as time goes on. But we are so grateful for our listeners and for our audience and even just having a platform to share what goes on in our inner worlds. It feels really good.
01:22:52
Speaker
It really does. I think it's healing for us both to be able to share our experiences and know that we do have listeners that are tuning into every episode and we're so grateful for you. And it's so grateful. You're in our gratitude journals for sure. Absolutely.
01:23:13
Speaker
But just to be able to be here, share the space, and share just a space within our industry where it's not just about skincare. It's not just about business. It's about everything. And it's layered, and it's hard, and it's messy, and it's beautiful, and it's uncomfortable. And yeah, we just want to say thank you and that we love you, and we're here for you. And we hope that you do reach out if you're
01:23:41
Speaker
you know, in any season or if you need help or support, that's what we're here for. And that's like our main reason for doing this podcast is to be a supportive ear or supportive hand and to help you wherever you're at. So don't think that any question or any struggle you're going through is silly or stupid or too small that we wouldn't want to help you. And we would absolutely love it if you reached out.
01:24:09
Speaker
And probably even for some feedback, we would love that too. If there is topics that you would like us to discuss and cover, if there's guests that you would like us to bring on that inspire you and you want to hear from, definitely reach out. And I'll tell you how you can find me. And then Jess will let you know how you can reach out via our email and then how you can find her too. So again, I'm Tiffany Orr. You can find me on Instagram or Facebook at Sweet Cheeks Waxing Skincare or at Sweet Cheeks University.
01:24:38
Speaker
And I am at, so on Instagram it's at the underscore SD underscore coach SD is just within E and our Gmail email is beyond aesthetics podcast at gmail.com. And I am getting ready to offer live retail sales
01:24:59
Speaker
bootcamp classes, BTW. I'm so freaking excited you're doing that. It's long overdue. It's so necessary. It's so long overdue and I am so freaking stoked. So I'm going to have more information about that on probably Sunday at the latest. I'm going to spend the next few days putting all of that information together for people.
01:25:19
Speaker
and there's gonna be a ton of them actually. It's not just like one big event that I'm leading up to. I'm probably going to be doing two or three of these throughout the next several months and then turning it into a larger online course. And I'm gonna do it at a very affordable rate. And so if you or your team or whoever needs some help with retail sales, my course, the way that I teach retail sales is basically
01:25:46
Speaker
natural conversations. It's like heart-based, service-based selling.
Sales Mindset and New Courses
01:25:54
Speaker
And it's all about changing your mindset, changing your approach, gaining comfort, so much so to the point where it's completely natural. So I kind of work in layers and dig out the reason why we're struggling, get behind the mindset of why we're struggling, and then give you
01:26:14
Speaker
actual questions, actual steps, and actual map of how to become really successful at doing this because it is the most important thing.
01:26:23
Speaker
for beauty professionals to be really comfortable with sales because it's all 80, 20 result. But 99% of beauty professionals are uncomfortable with it. And so I am so stoked to create these courses and put them out there. So if that's something that you're interested in, just be watching my Instagram for all of that information to start coming out.
01:26:50
Speaker
It's going to be so life-changing for so many people. Well, it's funny. I had worked with you for seven years before I even did a full training with you. And you said it was one of the most inspiring trainings that you've ever had. It's true. It's something that everybody, especially as estheticians, need to hear.
01:27:14
Speaker
your method. And like you said, it is layered. And it's, it's real. And it's really more about connection. And you have so much value to share. And I'm actually so freaking proud of you right now that like, it's coming together.
01:27:31
Speaker
And I can't wait to take it. And I'm going to have my team take it. And even though we've had trainings with you, it's just I know that there's so much value that's going to be in this course for you. Are you going to have a quick question about it? Is it going to be limited seating? Or how is that going to work? Or are you still trying to figure that out?
01:27:46
Speaker
I actually think that I will limit because the first couple that I do will be a very low introductory price and I am going to limit those because I'm also going to require a review and feedback. So I'm just going to do kind of an exchange system for the first couple of I'm going to do it for a very low introductory rate for you. But I do, that is going to be you giving feedback and a review.
01:28:16
Speaker
What was the question? Am I going to limit it? Oh, yeah. Yeah. For the first couple, I am going to limit it because it is an introductory rate. But then probably there will be several that I don't put a limit on and it will just be large kind of live master classes. And I do want to do it live because I want people to be able to ask questions, you know. So I'll probably go through the course and then leave like till the end.
01:28:40
Speaker
have people hold their questions and then we'll just stay and do live questions. I think that's so smart. And doing it live, your students will be able to pick up on your energy too. I love that. I think that's so smart. It's one of the most, it's, I am the most passionate about teaching people about this. There's a lot of things I'm passionate about sharing and helping people and teaching and doing all of that, but I actually think that retail sales is my number one.
01:29:08
Speaker
Yeah, it's a niche for you for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So that's going to be real fun. So just stay tuned for all of that information to start coming out as well. And then we also, we are going to have another mastermind group coming too. And so yeah, you definitely want to be following one or both of us on Instagram too, because when it goes live for signups, and if that is something that you want to incorporate and take our coaching group,
01:29:38
Speaker
Um, the spaces will fill up really fast. So yeah, we'll talk more about that in the coming months too. So stay tuned. Um, thank you guys so much for being here. Seriously. We love you. We appreciate you. And, um, here's your reminder to have pretty dreams and we will see you in the next episode. Bye guys.