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An Ebullient Hug Trap
19 Plays3 months ago
We're back! Today, we discuss how a hug works, how to ask men on a date, and we finally answer the question of "What's a dingleberry?"
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
When I do that, can you see that it's counting down too or can i only I see that? No, I see it. Yeah. Oh, I'm not on the other end of it very often. So I don't know if you guys can also see when it's when it's counting down. I can also see that we've been recording for a whopping 15 seconds. Yeah, I was just testing because as I pushed it, I was like, oh, shit, I don't know if Danny saw that that number was counting down. ah So I kind of felt like an asshole because I never really bothered to ask before. I just assumed people could see it. Which is good, because I guess you can. Perfect, okay, cool. Anyway, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening, ladies, gentlemen. Non-binary folks of universe is known, and the unknown. Welcome back to That's Our Q, or TOQ for short. We've been on a little bit of a hiatus because my brain was broken. Not physically, in a sense, that I was in an accident, but emotionally, and what's the other one? And mentally, because my brain was trying to lift too many weights at once, and a broken needed to recover.
00:00:54
Speaker
Um, so anyway, welcome to that's our queue or Tokyo for sure. Where we take your cues and we put them in a phone booth and we, we see them, their shadow change clothes, uh, very quickly. And then they fly out with a red cape on and they burst out as a superheroic a to save the day. And if you don't know what that means, all it means that we take your questions from the internet, from places like ah Reddit and Quora and other fucking places you probably haven't even heard of. And we answer them as if anybody gives a shit to hear our opinion on anything. My name is Adam. And of course, joined by me is my good buddy Danny guarantee. Hello, Danny. How are thou? I am doing I was going to try and answer an old English and my brain said, no, so I'm doing great. um I also had ah your mind was broken. My body was broken. um I wasn't in an accident or anything. I just got really sick. Yeah.
00:01:51
Speaker
Yeah, and that's stunk, so that's never fun. I got up to like a one hundred and two point five fever. I was like starting to look up online like, ah damn oh, how high can your fever get before you have to go to the hospital before your brain fries inside of your skull? Yeah, I'm ah my brains already like mashed potatoes. I don't need to like water that down anymore. Yeah, I i feel that. But other than that, yeah, I'm doing pretty good. Good. How's the how's the parents? They're good. I actually just talked to them. My parents. We ah have been seeing a lot of carpenter ants lately, so we need to get that taken care of. I don't know why they call carpenter ants because they don't seem like they help build anything. No, at least one hour. They do chew up wood and that's not fun. They're like little woodpeckers, but ants, but like littler.
00:02:51
Speaker
Interesting. Still big for ants, which sucks. Yeah, a big ant. Anyway, hey, you want to you want to answer sir some questions?
00:03:02
Speaker
huh ah ah ah All right, this first question is from Greg Davis. They are from Henderson, Kentucky. And this is a Quora question. I must have fielded this. Two or three of these questions I know I picked probably two years ago when I first started this and just never got to him. So Greg Davis, we are finally getting to your question and I am sorry it took me this long. So Greg Davis asks, how do I ask a man on a date? And that's it. No further context, no further question. Just very straightforward. Greg wants to know how does he ask a man on a date? Danny, how do you ask a guy on a date? That's a a good question. I don't have any experience in that field, however.
00:03:52
Speaker
I do know that you know when it comes to like dating and stuff, as much as people will love to say differently, guys, girls, we all want the same thing. We just want somebody to love us and you know cuddle up to us and all that. So I don't think you would be remiss in just doing it like you would anyone else. I've always been a huge fan of
00:04:17
Speaker
Don't go into it looking for a relationship, go into it looking for a friendship. And if it blossoms into more than that, then awesome. awesome Blossom. It's an awesome blossom. Yeah. So that would be you know my way of going about it, would just be striking up small talk, you know getting to know them a little bit. Go in seeking a friendship. um And if you're giving off, you know, vibes and and you're getting vibes back from them, then just ask them, you know, say, hey, you know, I like you. I'm not sure if you like me too, but if you would like, we could maybe go get some coffee, go see a movie, maybe get some dinner, you know, take our friendship to the next level.
00:05:09
Speaker
OK, I don't think you could go too wrong with with just the general, you know, now route. Now, what about the classic, you know, you do you remember those little what do they call them in school where they were made of paper and they had like six sides to him and he did like a little, oh, a little fortune teller thing like red r e d and he kind of fold it each time. Yeah, the little fortune teller. Yeah, like maybe you could do that and make it into a game that way, like it's entertaining and you're doing a little activity while you do it. But here's the thing. You fudge each and every one as if it's just, will you go out with me? Or hey, you want to date with me, right? I got to tell you.
00:05:50
Speaker
My experience living with two gay gentlemen over the past, how long it's been. It's been that just men are just men no matter what. OK, like boys will be boys. Boys are going to be boys. And there's all different. There's a whole spectrum of just how men are. But there's a few traits that I've noticed, at least with the people I hang out with that like. it Like I'm a straight man, but I have no idea how to do anything with cars. My roommate, extremely gay, but can take a car apart and like order parts in and do the whole thing in his little tiny ass garage without ever having to go step foot into like a professional place. And then his boyfriend who also lives with us.
00:06:30
Speaker
is a big game nerd that also likes cars. So he's like a blend of me and a blend of improvement. And like, but one thing I can tell you is, you know, we all kind of have like a similar thing where we just want to be direct. We want to have someone that'll make us laugh. We want silly shit. We're all goofy. And we just want like, we just want to know what's up. We don't need any sort of like, uh, uh, like no games because we're all stupid. All men are kind of dumb. And so just go in there remembering that Greg Davis, I'm assuming you're a man because of the name. If I'm incorrect, I apologize, but I'm just going to go off of what I'm seeing. Greg, if you're a guy going to ask out another guy, just remember that whether you're non binary, at some point you were a guy.
00:07:11
Speaker
and like early to identify the search for some period of your life remember what that's like remember how you were treated and how you wish you were treated and just do the same thing. Don't fuck around unless you're gonna make it again say hey i'm too nervous to ask you out so i'm gonna make it into a game what's your favorite color red or blue blue blue blue blue blue blue and you do the little fortune teller thing and ask about this make it a fun thing make it stupid make it fun make it direct that's what men like there you got like short sweet and to the point. Make it stupid, make fun, make it direct. Actually, you you reminded me with the little fortune teller thing while we were sick. um Mel and I couldn't. we We didn't want to be in contact with each other, because as far as we knew from the doctors, we both had different things, which really sucks. um So we we were kind of like self isolating for like.
00:08:03
Speaker
A week and a half to two weeks. Oh, wow. And at one point, you know, she was she was in her room with the door closed and I just slipped a piece of paper under it that said, Do you like me? Yes. And yes. Well, that was my that was my initial idea. And then I thought of the fortune teller thing instead. Then she passed it back and said, Who is this? That's hilarious. New, new, new, new, new door. Who this? Yeah. New door. Who this? I was like, Oh, thought that hurts. is
00:08:36
Speaker
pardon Who's talking? Who are you? Yeah. But I mean, I mean, that's a great idea to just write the note, hand it to a guy. Hey, don't put no. Yes, yes. Yeah, just put yes, super yes or absolutely yes. You know, just like just give it different forms of yes. That way you, you know, you always win. Yeah. You know, or if you if you're too nervous that they'll write something on the paper, just hand it to them. It just says, hand this paper back to me if you want to go out. Right. And then if they give it back to you.
00:09:12
Speaker
then you know, but if they throw it away, that kind of saves you a little bit of embarrassment because they can do that without talking to you. You know, they just throw it away, they walk away and then, you know, right? They hand them a paper. Hey, hand this back to me. Hand this back to me if ah if you want to go out sometime. Or depending on where you guys are meeting and you know how old you are, buy them a drink. Yeah, I mean, that's always a classic. I love drinks, but not like alcoholic ones. Yeah, but you like juice. I love juice. but but I'm trying to watch my juice intake because there's a lot of sugars in them, so I'm trying to find more like non sugary stuff now. So not it's juice and juice adjacent things like sugar free power raids and stuff like that. ah My big weakness is Arnold Palmer's. Yeah, yeah, that's a lot oh good. You know, I walked into a beer distributor store for the first time like three days ago with my roommates. They consume a lot of alcohol, by the way. um But I walked into there.
00:10:10
Speaker
And I found non-alcoholic cider that I bought that I was, it made me feel like such an adult. Um, I went there and it has a cool spider on it. It's called like white widow or some shit. Um, I thought you're going to say liquid death. No, it wasn't liquid death. I asked, but they didn't have it. Um, I did ask them. I was like, Oh, maybe they have liquid death here. Uh, but they did also have some non-alcoholic. Rose, it was like bubbly rose. So I bought like it's like in a little bottle. I don't know if it's actually rose, but it's rose scented. And so I got that to feel pretty. And then I got some white, I think it's called white widow ah cider that has prebiotics in it. And I learned what prebiotics were. And then I ate some yogurt to feed the probiotics in there. And um and then I almost shit my pants during pride when I went there because I drank one. And my tummy was like, hey, we're not used to this yet.
00:11:04
Speaker
Um, so I just felt like a shotgun and gone off on my asshole and it was still smoking from the gun for a big chunk of the morning. Um, but I ended up not pooping myself and i had a great time at pride. So that's pretty much how that story. Well, you know what? It sounds like a wonderful day to me. Went to pride, didn't ship myself. Went to pride, didn't ship myself. And I got a sticker of a rainbow bus from a stranger and a hug. It was nice. And I didn't get sunburned. So it all turned out all right. Actually me and Mel were just talking about wanting to go to a pride event at some point. Yeah, I mean, it was a lot of fun. um And yeah, it was ah it was a good time. And I got to meet a lot of interesting people. And I got a hug from a big, beefy stranger. I don't know what they identified as, but they hugged me because I think they thought I was gay. And it was a big if it was a big dude with like a beard, then he would identify as a bear.
00:11:55
Speaker
Well, I don't know if it was a dude though, because it wasn't exactly dressed like a big beefy bear. So I don't know. I didn't want to assume, but they gave me, um, they gave me probably one of the best hugs I've gotten in years. Just a really good, I mean, cause you never noticed when you hug people, they they don't use like their whole arms and biceps. They don't really wrap your, their arms around you or they give you like a little. Hat hug or they turn sideways and just give you like a little side hug. You know I'm saying yeah um Hello, you know we didn't meet at the mall that long ago the best I know in years Well, that was the last good hug. I got was from you ah dan Good good save
00:12:32
Speaker
Well, no, for real. I mean, because people don't hug with both arms, like, or at least they don't squeeze like you're supposed to. like Next time I see you, I'll give you another good hug. So many people are afraid of that chest to chest connection. So they just kind of lean in. They give all clothes all the same dude. And this person gave me a wonderful squeeze and they said, I'm so proud of you. And I didn't have the heart to say I'm not gay. I'm just here for you guys. But I gave him a squeeze back anyway and said, hey, I'm fucking more proud of you. And then we gave it and we held it for a good like five, 10 seconds. There's a longest hug I got in a while. No other words were spoken. And it was so nice as music was going on around us. And I was like, man, why can't people hug like that all the time? That's just how a hug should be. Here's a little bonus advice for people out there as somebody who's been told they're a great hugger his entire life.
00:13:20
Speaker
When you give somebody a hug. You want to not overlap your arms, but have one higher one lower, you know, grab get a little bit more of their body and you want to squeeze just a little bit to give them that extra like secure feeling. Oh yeah, absolutely. Boy girl, it really doesn't matter who you're hugging. They're going to love that you need to have like. um You need to at least get. A bicep like your bicep should be touching either a shoulder or yeah back or or something like if your bicep isn't like at least resting somewhere on their body, you're only hugging them with your forearms and it's a shitty hug. ah Ideally, what I like to do is um with the one hand, I go up to their opposite shoulder. So my right hand on their left shoulder and I'll push that into my shoulder a little bit, you know, just to kind of give it that little squeeze for extra secure feeling.
00:14:18
Speaker
There you go is a little tip for you. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I I I have one more quick story to share and we'll get back to Greg about hugs, but like. When I first came back into my sister's life, when my sister first came back in my life several years ago, which is crazy, I think it's been like almost four years now, um like we were estranged for quite some time when I saw her, she had three small children, three years old, like a one and a half year old and then like a newborn baby that I knew for like two months. before we got separated because of just tragedy that happened in my life. And so we reconnected when she had two more kids, plus my other sister's kids, and they were all much bigger when I met them several years ago. And when I first started showing up and became a regular part of their lives again, every time Uncle Adam walked into the fucking room, every kid lined up for a hug, every single kid, it was wonderful. It was the but the best greeting I've gotten in forever.
00:15:11
Speaker
And then as they get older, you know, some of them are reaching preteen and teenager and one of them's like turning 14, 15, you know, they change, they get different. They feel awkward. Their friends tell them different things, you know, and I understand that. So the oldest, her name is Danica. I believe she's 14. about my height now. Yeah, great name. She started giving me like his little side ass hugs. it And I was just like, What the fuck is this? Like, who taught you? Like, I used to tell her i was I was like, kid, what is this gross? Fucking fish hug. Yeah, this dead fish little side hug, like,
00:15:47
Speaker
Like you just met me or something or like, or like I have germs. Like, what is this dumb ass shoulder hug you're giving me? Right. Get your ass over here. And I, and I, I ragged on her about it for like the past, like several months. I'm like, are you going to give me a shitty hug again, Danica? And like, and some of the other ones started doing it too. I was like, don't you dare. And I praise one of them, two of them who give just the sweetest, most powerful little hugs in the world. And every time like you two, you're still my favorite because you give the best hugs. I got to go ahead and why do you pick favorites? I was like, because you all hug shitty. ah That's my favorite. It's all based on the hugs, kid. You got to grow up. Give me better hugs. Right. You don't get the love you want if you don't give me love the way that I want it. All right. So people people seriously underestimate the power of a hug like. Oh, for sure. um I'm not a huge. um How do I put it? Not a huge kisser, right? Like. ah
00:16:44
Speaker
I'll kiss my wife on the lips and everything, but like we don't make out or anything tired of it. 20 bucks. She. I have that's it. Yeah, that that is totally fine. Yeah, and I'm fucking can I pay for a few months in advance? Like, how long does that get me? Is that per kiss? Oh, yeah, it's per kiss. OK, I still not too bad, honestly, like just for like the story of it, I'd pay 20 bucks to kiss Mel. She would never kiss me. But like, I think it'd be really funny if that was like if I made that story and we run to find our friend's kid that also paid 20 bucks for her.
00:17:17
Speaker
Oh, I could take his, I could yeah his take his friendly ki his mother, his mother will side with me. Yeah. help me this um But people seriously, they underestimate the power of a hug. Like I prefer hugs to kisses. Like I find it's more intimate, more emotional than just a kiss. You know, ah for me, a kiss is more lust, whereas a hug is more love. And I've told people this all the time, like if you're ever in a situation where you need to comfort somebody and you don't know what to say. That means the answer isn't saying something, just give them a hug. I'm telling you, or if probably what they want more than words, even if you sit down beside them, like and you can just quietly, send just like or if you put your arm around them and just like pull them in a little bit, just so the way they feel secure, like on both sides, like.
00:18:14
Speaker
It really does. I mean, like there's scientific studies that have been going on for the past couple of years, especially since the pandemic really separated everybody about how, like, you know, the the Internet's kind of memified it a little bit, but like how, like they say, like a healthy hearted person gets like, I can't remember the exact number, but at least seven to 10, let's say hugs a day. You know what I mean? Like they said people like are feeling less and less loved because they don't get as much of that physical emotion. There's no there's no like physical face to face connections anymore. Yeah. And so like a lot of people are feeling like emotionally deprived and sometimes they don't know why but you know what I can tell you to kind of bring it back around to like my story with my nieces is that like just the other day when I went down to visit just because like I need to get out of a funk and get out of my house, I just showed up. but The way that I go visit lately is I just show up whenever I want and hope that someone's going to be home. Like I just like I drive like 45 minutes and just show up and hope someone out in the woods is going to be there. um But like
00:19:12
Speaker
You know, I show up and then Danica is almost the first one. Like she's not always the first one to greet me, but if she knows I'm there, she will leave her room or leave wherever she is. Come find me out in the yard. And she just recently it was beautiful. She gave me the, one of the best little two arms hugs and I couldn't help but tell her when she did it, she gave me a really good squeeze and everything. I was like, see now you're my favorite again. And she's like, Because I hugged you with both arms. I was like, yes, because you hugged me with both arms. And it felt so nice. And she even gave me, and she just kind of does one of those little teenage read, just like, oh, whatever uncle Adam kind of thing. But I could tell that made her feel good that I, cause I always like sneakily tell her like, you're still my favorite of all seven of the kids. You know, um,
00:19:52
Speaker
But I think that made her feel good, because I think she's finally listening. I was like, OK, I'm going to give Uncle Adam the kind of hug that he wants. And it was really nice. It was really sweet. Now, that was hard for an awkward teenager to do that. But I'm just like, OK, I don't care about that. That's great. It was so nice. It was so sweet. And I'm trying to protect the kids from thinking, When they were younger, they were all very lovey and expressive to each other and protective of each other. And as you get older, you kind of form like little rivalries with your siblings and and your relatives and stuff. And I don't want anybody to think that you are too old to show love to people. And I'm just like, kid, you were only 14 fucking years old. You cannot be jaded by giving people hugs and love. Your mother has to force them on you now because you're fighting it.
00:20:36
Speaker
You know, like like I'm not having it. I will not have it. That's my sister and your mom. I was like, we are going to hug in this family. God damn it. Yeah, I'm absolutely one of those people when I meet, you know, somebody new, unless I know I had a time like, hey, they're awkward or or they're shy or whatever. If I like meet somebody new guy or girl, it it really does not matter. And they go in for like a handshake or something and it's casual. I'm just like, oh, hell no. Get in here. You know, I'll do the handshake to pull them in. Not that guy. Yeah, everybody like I know everybody has to read the room, though. Yeah. But I'm just saying, people, we are all ah we are all um deprived of hugs and you should just embrace that. So Greg Davis. Greg Davis, I didn't forget about you, Greg. um Look, I did a little bit. I'm sorry. Open your open your arms up for a big hug and say, hey, bring it in.
00:21:32
Speaker
And then when they come in and give you that big, beautiful hug, you get if they give you both arms hugs, you ask them out on a date while you're embracing. Hey, let's go out because you're a fucking excellent hugger. I want to hug you vertically and horizontally. um And that's how you get them. You get them in the hug trap.
00:21:52
Speaker
I think that's great advice. Good job, Adam. Now I've got you right where I want you. Yes. The hug trap. You know, it's like a bug trap with hugs but with hugs. You know what? I kind of when I said that out loud, I heard love shack is the bug trap baby. I know that's a baby. and
00:22:16
Speaker
Anyway, Greg Davis, that's how you do it, my friend. I can't I don't think we can be any clearer on that. No, just walk up to them, give them a hug. Just get out of nowhere or just open your arms up and invite it. Any sane person who sees an opportunity for a hug. Now, there is are a few asterisks that I won't discuss. But typically, if it's a safe space and you're just like, hey, bring it in, if they bring it in, they give you a two armed hug. That's a keeper. Keep that person in your life. Bonus points if you just sneak up behind them and hug them from the back. but Only, no you know, no, no, no. no yeah Let's you know, just don't take that risk because what if they just took a self defense class and they just fucking Judah throw your ass and everybody remembers you as the one that gets tossed. Greg Davis got thrown over the bar because he hugged somebody from behind. Oh, that's Greg Davis. Oh, my goodness. Don't get Greg Davis, you know, because then your name becomes like a verb and you don't want that um unless Greg Davis is like, oh, man, this is how i lost it's a good thing. Like I pulled a great Greg Davis today. Yeah, I mean, if it's a good thing, you're like, oh, man,
00:23:16
Speaker
want to go Greg Davis's world. You know, I'm going to go. So I'm going to Greg Davis so hard today. Yeah, I'm going to. You can never over Greg Davis if you do it right now. Anyway, you want another question? Yeah, sure. This one is posted by Mr. Volberus on Reddit. um And they say, I want to learn how to have a hobby. And it says, as Tidal says, I have no hobbies. I can't sit and do one thing every day for 10 to 30 minutes. I get distracted and bored too easily. I've tried music, learning to draw, learning a language, reading, et cetera. But I want to learn to get a simple habit so I can do more things in my free time and not sit on a computer for 12 hours a day.
00:24:01
Speaker
Thanks Danny. How do we help Mr. Volberous get a hug? Well, the number one thing is. You gotta find something that you actually really like enjoy doing. It doesn't need to be something you can sit down and do for hours on end without issue right away. But just something that interests you. um You said you had tried drawing and and you know all these other things, but like. Did you try them just because, oh, you know, I need a hobby and these are hobby ish things to do ah or are you genuinely interested in it? You know, um once you find something that you think would make a good hobby that interests you. Just do it for like 10 minutes. That's it. You know, not not a long time each day or, you know, whatever, however many days a week.
00:24:58
Speaker
three days a week, let's say, just do it for 10 minutes. you know ah that The idea being that you're getting yourself into the habit of doing it and making it a part of your daily routine rather than thinking like, oh, you know now I gotta to go out of my way to go do this thing. um So that would be my advice to you, is find something that genuinely interests you. Don't worry about how cool it is or how, like
00:25:30
Speaker
You know, if it's embarrassing or not, because I guarantee you that doesn't matter as somebody whose hobby is making silly voices. Having to do that with a wife around is was awful at first, but I got used to it. um
00:25:47
Speaker
Yeah, and then just do it in small chunk each day just to get yourself into that habit. And then once you realize that, like, oh, wow, it's been 10 minutes already and I'm you know not feeling like I'm done yet. Keep going, you know, and let it kind of grow organically. Don't try and force it. Yeah. ah Yeah, there definitely has to be an interest there. Like, yeah, you know, but but it's also very normal to start a lot of different hobbies and then just not commit to them. um It happens a lot, ah but it sounds to me like you struggle. This person struggles to.
00:26:27
Speaker
um even find something to try to commit to. It's the commitment that seems to be like they said they tried learning music, learning to draw, learning a language. But those are all kind of challenging things. It takes a lot of like self-starting or money to start. Like, you know, you can either buy music lessons or you could try to learn on your own. I've tried learning keyboard on my own several times. And now my keyboard is with my best friend's ex-girlfriend. And I don't know if I'm going to get that back. um You know, learning a language, I tried Duolingo a bunch of times.
00:26:59
Speaker
Learning to draw. I took a drawing class on Coursera several times, and while that was fun, I don't feel like I'm a whole lot better, although I can draw some neat pyramids now, I guess. Or not pyramids. What do you got? Cones. I could draw cones all right. and I understand shadows a little better, but not enough that like I feel like I've got to do anything with it. But anyway, my point is, is like that's all normal. But what it sounds like to me, and maybe you and I are kindred spirits in this respect, is you need a hobby that is has a community. Like something that is group oriented, perhaps, rather than solo oriented, right? Because everything that you have discussed so far, reading, music, drawing, language, while there can be community there, for the most part, it sounds like you try to tackle it on your own.
00:27:47
Speaker
Um, and learning by yourself all is already fucking difficult as hell, especially if you hit a learning curve and you don't know how to do it. Oh yeah. you you know That's, that's what really hit me with music was I hit a wall, like the app I was learning on, just like I couldn't keep up with the next level. And I was like, you know, I feel like i' I'm going on a timeline. They told me I'm on, but I can't keep up. Like something's wrong. Maybe I need a person, but music lessons are expensive. So while I would recommend you do. maybe join an online community like what we have and try to learn how to play maybe tabletop role-playing games because typically you need other people to do this with or
00:28:23
Speaker
try to find something like, you know, if you go to meetup dot.com, if you're in the States anyway, I don't know if the outside of the United States does this, but there's a website called meetup dot.com. You can go on there and search for different kinds of groups in different areas and age, grade age ranges that you're looking for. And there's like board game groups, people who are learning how to skate together. There are people who, and I know this cause I used to do roller skating myself until I hurt myself real bad. Um, There are people who are learning how to ride bikes together or who already know how to ride bikes and they just go on trails. And that's just what they do. And you can sign up for like, Hey, we're going to go on the yeah fucking the steamboat trail at three o'clock on Saturday afternoon. Who wants to come? And then you just sign up and you show up with your bike. You know, so it sounds to me, again, I could be wrong, but all these things you tried to do as a hobby where things you learned, you were trying to do on your own, you might just need like an accountability buddy or a group to join.
00:29:17
Speaker
that will make you feel motivated. And as we said earlier, A lot of people are emotionally deprived. And even if you're an introvert, that just means how you recharge. It doesn't mean that you still don't want to feel like you're part of something. You just might need to feel like you're a part of something and having other people there to confirm that they are also struggling with a new hobby. It might be just what you need to feel that sense of community and to continue with it because you will likely commit more to your hobby if you're also there to help somebody support theirs. So that's my advice to you. My friend is do that in a group.
00:29:48
Speaker
I want to throw in just one other thing. One other little thing just to help cover all the bases. Just if you're not looking for like a community, you're looking for a solo thing just on the off chance. ah Would they say they they play games on the computer a lot? They said they just don't want to be on their computer for 12 hours a day, so that could probably be like. Me watching YouTube, Netflix, gaming, whatever sounds like they do a lot of stuff on their own. I think your easiest. bet for finding something that interests you is to soul search a little bit. you know what When you're bored or when you're having these moments, what do you do on the computer? Do you play a certain game? Do you watch YouTube? You know you could turn those into actual productive um habits as much as anything else or hobbies, as much as anything else. you know
00:30:42
Speaker
You're what you're playing a lot of this one video game well try and draw characters from that you know tie in if you wanted to learn how to draw tie that into the game that interests you or If you want to try and take up writing as a hobby, maybe right? Fanfiction for the game, you know, it doesn't have to be hot sweaty triple X stuff, but Just right, you know those head cannons that you always had try and practice your writing on it if you watch YouTube a lot and Start a YouTube channel. It doesn't have to be a gaming channel. It could be commentary. It could be a vlog. It could be whatever. It doesn't even matter if people watch it. It just is something for you to do and and get it out there. And maybe people will see it and then they'll comment on it and you can talk to them and make friends. All true. yeah All true things. Find a way to take your interest and turn it into a hobby. Right. But it sounds to me like
00:31:42
Speaker
i was looking at the the list again music there's a learning curve drawing there's a learning curve language is a learning curve reading is the only one that doesn't seem to really have a learning curve unless you're not a very good reader or maybe you don't not everybody reads at a certain level um That's the only kind of outlier there, but I got to tell you, I also struggle with reading. I used to love. I love reading out loud because it helps me focus, especially if I have an audience, but I struggled to read books anymore or to even pay attention if I'm listening to an audio book because my mind hears or read something and it just goes somewhere else with it. And then I've missed.
00:32:18
Speaker
either I've stared at the same page for 45 minutes not realizing I'm doing it, or I've been imagining something else and missed like the whole half of like whoever was reading the book to me. And that's probably an ADHD thing. um So maybe that's why this person struggles to commit to a hobby because maybe they have something like that. You know, maybe they can't focus. I know I struggle with stuff like that. like I really need to get in the zone if I'm making music or writing songs. I really like have to turn everything else off because I will get distracted and play something else like on the on YouTube thinking I need noise and then like I just won't pay attention to what I'm doing. um
00:32:55
Speaker
So it could but just be a focused thing. You might just maybe yeah I don't know if you have ADHD, but that's also a very valid thing. You could just struggle to do that because your brain can't stop moving from one thing to another, which is why a lot of people start hobbies and never finish them or never commit to them. ah But yeah, either try to make make something productive out of a hobby, maybe something that makes you feel good if you get feedback Again, that's a way to build community. Like if you do YouTube videos and you get comments, that's a good way to build community. Or you know what, here's a really simple one. um Just like go on Twitter and just like do a lot of hot takes. That seems to get a lot of interaction. No, no, i don't do that. No, no, no. Not like political hot takes. no not like Not like political hot takes. Hot now takes like ah takes like bacon isn't really that good.
00:33:45
Speaker
No, shut your mouth. Like, really? You shut your dirty mouth, bacon's delicious. Or that raisins definitely belong in oatmeal cookies, you know, and like, you know, like things that are real and true that people need to hear more often. You'll find that niche of people that are so rare, like me, who will say, yes, that's my kind of person right there. Thank you. I'm regretting this show. Thank you, Mr. Volmaris, for saying what everybody else was afraid to say. Hey, Danny, you want to give us a word of the day, buddy? No. I know you do. I needed to fill in the title. I have the title of this episode, but I need to find a way to plug in the word of the day to fill it in there. We have to not bring up. The bacon issues and the raisin issues. It strains the friendship too much. Yeah, but they're both healthier options, like eating less bacon and eating more raisins. They're just healthier options. Not for the soul.
00:34:45
Speaker
It's definitely for the soul because you get to live longer and see your people you love longer. Do you think that I'm in good shape, Danny, when you see me? Do I look like I'm in decent shape? You look like you're in all right shape. Yeah. Do you think I eat a lot of bacon? No. I also don't think that alone is the reason. I mean, you're right. It's not solely why. But I also don't need a lot of bacon and I am not in shape. But you don't need enough raisins. You don't need enough raisins, my friend. I eat them when they're not rotten. I eat them as grapes. Oh, man. Grapes and raisins, they're both equally wonderful. You just have to find the right way to include it. But anyway, what's your word of the day? The best way to include raisins is in the trash can.
00:35:31
Speaker
Anyway, you just don't understand. You probably eat pickles, don't you? I love pickles. Disgusting. Why? I can go to the jar. I just don't understand America's obsession or the earth's ah like. Just the most cultured people don't just devour. I just don't get it. Pickles are just bathed in like devil jizz. And then it's just I don't get it. I don't get it at all. Jesus anyway, I didn't realize you had such a a bullion hatred for these things Thank you for using the word as a way to transition that way into our steps and No, no, I said that in a completely natural normal way. How could you tell that that's the word of the day?
00:36:16
Speaker
Well, I don't mean to insult you, Danny, um because I love you very dearly. But like I feel like you're not one who likes to, you know, splice in five dollar words in your regular sentences unless you're not at a good point. I do not. So ah so please forgive my assumption, but I believe how dare you. Now, was it bullying because I feel like I've heard that word. before Abuliant and maybe you L. L. I. E. N. T. Abuliant. E. u E. B. U. L. L. I. E. N. T. E. B. U. L. L. I. E. N. T. What does it do? It is an adjective. Oh, good. That'll work with my title, then. There you go. And it is overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm or excitement.
00:37:14
Speaker
High spirit. God, that works perfect for my title. I'm going to call this I'm going to call this an ebullient hug trap. Is this it does work so perfectly. Yes. Oh, my God. I didn't hear anything you said except for fervor. Would you say that? I mean, that's it. It's overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm or excitement over something high spirited fervor. High spirited fervor is a good word, too. I should use that in my. I do like fervor. an intense and passionate feeling. I always like need to check to make sure I'm using words, because you know how like you hear a word, you think you're saying it right this whole time, then you hear, like I thought the word poignant meant something else for the longest time. um So now I need to go back and check words that I think I know the definition to. Intense and passionate feeling. He talked with all of the fervor of a new convert. Well, I'm not trying to convert anybody, except to hug-ism. Let's keep hugging. So wait a minute, if if I were to say, like
00:38:15
Speaker
This person talked within a Boolean fervor. I guess you could say that right because you're saying it's a fervorous fervor, right? Essentially, you would be so you would be doubling up on the fervor. I guess that you could say that. But fervor is a noun, so I guess you could have a you could do that. Yeah, you you don't you don't you don't have fervor something you have fervor. Yeah. I guess you could technically have a bully and fervor, but it would be a little bit redundant. Just a little bit. It's like ATM machine. Exactly. Or or pin number or pin number. Yeah. Yeah. And oh that's still. that Right. Yeah. Personal. I do that. Personal identification number number. I do that. You know, if you want to have the same kind of mouth feel, but not be incorrect, don't say. Oh, I always want to have a mouth feel. Say, say, say pi number.
00:39:10
Speaker
Like pi, like in math, P-I, right? Like what's your pi number? Because then you're still correct. you're You're saying the first two letters as a word. and But then everybody's going to say 3.14 and I'm going to be like, why is everybody's pi number the same? Yeah, well. and I haven't been able to steal a single identity with this crap. They're not going to say 3.14. They're going to ask you what you're talking about. But you'd be correct. Or or if you really want to be if you really want to be sneaky, just say pi. and but it's your pay What's your number? Or my one friend would talk about his dog who's named Pie because he only has three legs. Right. Well, that's all good and gravy and everything. And I wish that dog the best of luck with its three legs. He's a very ah dumb dog. He's great. But um but like if you say pin number really fast, it sounds like you're saying pin number.
00:40:01
Speaker
Right. So it still kind of feels like actually that's what I'm going to say. I've never once said pin number. It's just, you know, they kind of get tangled together. I'm always saying pick number. It's just it kind of gets close together. So I say pin number. No, you definitely said two N's right there. I heard it. No, no, I didn't. It's just pin number. No, doubt you did it again. yeah so I'm just saying pin number. Yeah, no, I'm not saying two N's. So you have to put the accents. I can't help if you're hearing it wrong. Listen, just listen to me. If you say pin number, then there's only one N. Pin number. Yeah, but see, now you're saying it differently. I'm trying to say it as if it's a number in the number. Pin number. It's pin number.
00:40:44
Speaker
It's my ATM machine. Or just say. It's my ATM. Or just say the atom. I'm going to the atom. Going to the atom. Yeah, I'm going to the atom. The atom. The atom, I barely know. him Anyway, let's go on to one more question. What do you think? One more. All right. I have just enough battery on my laptop for one more. All right. This one is from Sensual Senpai 99 on Reddit. This one's a new one that I found recently. um They say, what in the hell is a dingleberry? I heard some kids say it today and actually almost lost my shit. um Danny wants a dingleberry. Oh my. It's still one of my favorite words. I love that word so much. There's no good answer to this. There's a great answer for it. I know exactly how to define it, but I want to hear what you think a dingleberry is.
00:41:35
Speaker
Well, I could tell you what it was being referred to as the first time I heard the word dingleberry. What is it? um
00:41:47
Speaker
What the hell is it called? A ah hemorrhoid is what I had first heard it as. Really? Yes. Actually, no, that's the second thing. My dad used to call me a dingleberry. Which really made it awkward when I heard somebody call a hemorrhoid a dingleberry. but I've never heard a dingleberry referred to as a hemorrhoid. I've heard hemorrhoid and I've heard balls as dingleberries. What? Yeah, you've never heard that. That is inaccurate. Whoever said that to you is wrong. Whatever museum you learn that from is incorrect. I mean, I don't use the word. So no it's so good. It's such a great. right So what is an actual dingleberry? I don't actually know this. I'm still recovering from it being balls and from it being hemorrhoids. I've never in my life.
00:42:37
Speaker
part of that, that's incredible. I just, what? Are you serious? Yeah, maybe it's like the whole um period thing all over again. Sentence period. I was going to say, you mean like putting a period at the end of it? Yeah. Yeah. That's still crazy. And anybody who believes that otherwise, it's just you guys are too. You need to work on your self-esteem. That's what that's about. I think I sent you that picture. I saw people arguing about that on Reddit. You did. Yeah. Um, okay. So a dingleberry, the more common colloquial term, if you would ask somebody to define a dingleberry would be like, I'm not New Jersey. It's like a piece of shit. That's like hanging like, like that's stuck to like your ass or like a little dingly crumb of shit. That's like stuck somewhere that like could fall off. So I was close with hemorrhoid.
00:43:24
Speaker
Kinda like if you're ever shitting and like you just feel something that's kind of hanging loose and you have to like keep jiggling around or something drops off. That's can be technically a dingleberry, but usually dingleberries are much smaller and they're just like stuck in like animal hair or ass hair or stuff like that. um That's what a dingleberry is. If you ask somebody to define what it is, they would tell you it's a small piece of shit stuck to your ass. um But typically you call somebody a dingleberry if like they're being stupid. Yes, that's when I got called one a lot. Right. Like usually it's like somebody who's like really foolish or dumb. And you're like, oh, come on, you dingleberry. What are they do something stupid or say something stupid? Like, oh, my God, you dingleberry like. but But it being Android, that's that is the closest thing that you said, but I've never my life heard of fucking everyone. Hey, I think I forget where I heard that. But I remember it was it had to do with somebody getting hit in the balls and they were like, oh, right in the dingleberries.
00:44:22
Speaker
I mean, I guess I thought it was. I could see that, but it would be more like in the twig and berries or right in the berries. It wouldn't be dingleberries. But I mean, I guess you can tag whatever you want but to the words, I suppose. um ah You know, what if you want to make your face your dingleberry, you go for it. You live your life. and Do you do you? It's fine. Listen, if you have an a bully and fervor to call your nuts dingleberries, who am I to tell you? What if you have a bully and dingleberries? I don't even know how that would work. Would you have overly passionate, high spirited dingleberries? Oh, I'm sure I could find a way. Give me some White Castle and I'll show you.
00:45:08
Speaker
ah I think my castle would be pink just for fun. um But anyway, ah I had a quick story about dingleberries. It's not a super funny thing, but it just like every time I discuss the word dingleberries, I think of it like I used to work at a game stop. It's like one of my first big boy jobs. And um I work with a guy named Jared and we really bonded over our level family guy, which is totally irrelevant to what I'm talking about. But just it was just something I think of when I think of him. um But I don't know how, but we used to discuss. Somehow we got on the discussion of dingleberries one day and I coined the phrase. They don't dingle. They dangle. They should be called dangleberries, right? um Because things don't dingle. I don't know what dingle means, but you don't. Berries don't dingle. They dangle from things, right? So like.
00:45:58
Speaker
I feel, and I think I used to say it on my friend group too, like they don't dingle, they dangle. So they're dangleberries. And for a while that was kind of like the term we would use, like, oh, you dangleberry. Like if you're calling somebody a dingleberry, you're calling them stupid. And if you're going to call me a tiny piece of shit, you better be calling me a dangleberry. Because that's, because that's the real, structurally, that's how a berry functions is they dangle, right? So anyway, that's not really, there's not really an exclamation point to the story. I just really want to make it known that like, Sometimes things are called things that shouldn't be called that thing. They should be changed to a different thing. You know, like how we don't say nice things about Christopher Columbus anymore. We should also change the word from dingleberry to dangleberry when talking about poop. That's all I'm saying. So in a completely unrelated note, I have our next word of the day. Why are you looking at the next word of the day? Because somebody said they don't know what it if dingle's a word.
00:46:58
Speaker
Is Dingle a word? Dingle is a word. No, it fucking isn't. it What does it mean? No, no. Next word of the day. I'm leaving this shit on a cliffhanger. Oh, man. He sounds very aboliant about it. So I'll leave. Oh, I am. Was it mean again, high spirited? And I don't know. I'm on Dingle now. And it meant with like a great fervor, very high spirited, enthusiastic and a bully. It's an adjective. Right. And we'll set an adjective. All right. ah Well, hey, let's wrap it up there then. um Central Senpai 99. That's what a dingleberry is, okay? That's what a dingleberry is. like It just depends on the context. I guess you could mean somebody who's a stupid little piece of shit stuck to an ass. Could be both.
00:47:47
Speaker
But I still say, if you want to go back to whatever kid you heard say it, especially if you work in like a classroom setting, if you hear them say dingleberry, you say dangleberry hit them with the old classic dangleberry. And then, you know, offer a hug afterwards because everyone should be getting a few more hugs these days. Um, then you start playing that one song that goes jingle jangle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle jingle Hopefully that dingleberry falls out and I'm saying, or that dangleberry, so to speak. I've been waiting 34 years. It still hasn't yet. It's still there. All right. Uh, Danny, uh, let's wrap up this episode. We're about 15 minutes in. How come these episodes always turn into shit? You know, the thing also, I thought you were going to say, why do they always always go so long? Because I cut out questions thinking that we would talk less, but I feel like um since we have less fewer questions, we're talking more. Yeah, no, it's fine.
00:48:53
Speaker
But I'm glad we're ending when we are, because my computer's at 10% battery. Perfect. All right, Danny, i say something nice to the people. Hello, people. You look lovely today. I can tell. I can see you. But also, I want to thank you all for listening. I know we've ah you know we've been away for a little bit. um We weren't kidding. Real life happened, and we are sorry for that little gap. but We're back, we're better than ever, and we're here to A your cues. And thank you so much for listening. I will say it again for the people in the back row. This is like a dream come true for me. So a bulliont. And it is because of the great people like you listening that I get to do what I love to do. um So thank you again. I really appreciate you. Adam, it's all on you.
00:49:54
Speaker
OK. You know, I just want to to reiterate what I always do, which is, hey, we love when you send us questions or comments. We would love if we get more interaction on our website, fun and sellers network dot com. You can go to the contact page there. We're going to be making some updates to our store on Redbubble pretty soon. I have some people working on some stuff in the background. just taking a little while because like Danny said, and I said earlier, life kind of got in the way, but we're trying to get back to it. um I have a little bit of a different idea on how fun and sellers is going to support people and keep an eye out for that. And the best place to do it is to go to funandsellers.work.com. We do have a kofi Ko-fi, ko-fi.com slash fun and sellers. I'll be honest with you though, I don't post on there that much because they don't do social media that much.
00:50:45
Speaker
So just go to the website. That's where all of our playlists are. That's where you see all the most up to date role players, guild stuff for their YouTube channel. That's where you'll see three besties and a guest. That's where you'll see our store. That's where you can go read some old reviews that Cass and I used to write about video games. And if you like those, let us know. We'll fucking start writing more of them or have other people maybe write their opinions on video games. I could do that. because that was That was really fun. no I'd like to revive that too. So maybe we can get that going. um So go check it out. It's a really fun place. And I'd love to get so a little bit more interaction on there as we build towards the next step in fun sellers evolution. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, having said that, I suppose there's nothing left to do, but just, you know, round out the episode. I don't have a funny question or a funny quote or anything like that. Um, you know, I think we're just gonna say, um,
00:51:36
Speaker
So long and thanks for all the fish, right? Remember that movie? Oh my god. You remember that movie? Yeah, there's your quote. So long and thanks for all the fish. Thanks for all the fish. I fucking hate dolphins. Clicking around on the internet now when I'm looking for a place I can call home. A real cesspool of scissors and fools and hot signals in my area. Real estate sites. Sucks so much ass Nothing is affordable I need to formulate a new plan I take a little risk as I enter Craigslist And I'm looking for other poor people A stumble on a dude and his other lover dude And they can afford to pay the utilities They've got a nice house A dog and two cats The rent is affordable
00:52:32
Speaker
I guess I live up with two strangers Feels good to be home Feels good to be home with my promos I've got a gay roommate and I've got a gay friend And they're dating each other cause they're both gay men They've got a gay boyfriend and a straight friend And they're living with me and I'm a straight friend, shenanigans ensue When they bring a lot of dudes They ask me if I'm gay I say no but ask again later I got a gay friend and I got a gay friend And they're dating each other cause they're both gay men They got a gay boyfriend and a straight friend And they're living with me and I'm a straight friend We're really into cars They're taking me to gay bars They ask me if I'm gay I say I wish cause I'm going through a drive
00:53:50
Speaker
Telling around with my super gay pals And they said they're gonna help me find a woman We went to a show with some bros they know And there were wigs and a whole lot of glitter Drag kings and queens Taught me to sing, didn't find romance Well later on we're gonna play some Xbox Feels good to be ho
00:54:16
Speaker
Feels good to be home with my promos I've got a gay roommate and I've got a gay friend And they're dating each other cause they're both gay men They've got a gay boyfriend and a straight friend And they're living with me and I'm a straight friend shenanigans ensue When they bring a lot of doohoos They ask me if I'm gay I say no but ask again later I got a gay roommate and I got a gay friend And they're dating each other cause I'm both gay men They got a gay boyfriend and a straight friend And they're living with me getting down to straight friends They're really into costs And taking me to gay bars They ask me if I'm gay
00:55:01
Speaker
I say I wish cuz I'm going through a dry spell I got a gay roommate and I got a gay friend And they're dating each other cuz they're both gay men They got a gay boyfriend and a straight friend And they're living with me and I'm a straight friend So now they get some too When they bring a lot of news They ask me if I'm gay I say no but ask again later I got a gay woman and I got a gay friend And they're dating each other cause they're both gay men They got a gay boyfriend and a straight friend And they're living with me and not a straight friend They're really into cars And taking me to gay bars They ask me if I'm gay I say I wish cause I'm going through a dry spell