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00:00:01
A Scrofulous Knee Slap
16 Plays4 months ago
We revisit some questions to find out how Danny feels about asking people to leave his home when he's tired of company. We also discuss if Atom should be upset with Justin for changing podcasting time to go on a date. We talked about other stuff too but I'm editing this late and I forgot so... yeah sorry about that. Anyway, enjoy us talking about stuff... Scrofulous was in there... Mortally tainted I believe... yep. I think Danny also complains about kids not playing outside more and stuff. Shit, I should really have listened better during editing. Hopefully it sounds good. I made it extra loud. Louder means better, right?
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Transcript
Introduction and Show Concept
00:00:00
Speaker
All right, here we go. We are live. Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening, ladies, gentlemen, non binary folks of universes. No, no, no, this is not role of players. That's our cue or to cue for short where we take your cues and we lay them out in the sun without sunscreen because you were just curious and you let the cue take their shirt off and just lay out there with the dogs and the cats for a little while. And then they wake up really groggy. And then the cue goes and takes a nice little nap in the bed.
00:00:27
Speaker
And then they wake up still kind of groggy, but a nice extra tanned A.
Sun Exposure and Personal Anecdotes
00:00:31
Speaker
And for those of you who don't know what that means, we take questions from the internet from places like Quora and Reddit, and we answer them as if anybody gives a shit to hear our opinion in the first place. If you haven't already said so, my name is Adam, and joining me is my good friend, Denny Guaranti. Hello, Denny. Hello, Mr. Adam. How are you today? I'm swell, as we've already spoken before recording. I'm still a little so little gru Yeah, oh yeah the the whole Q and&A bit. That was not me. That sitting on the sun sounds gross. No, thank you. Yeah, you know, it felt good on my skin, but, you know, I really should have went out there with sunscreen first, but I didn't.
00:01:04
Speaker
I have like a tan around my eyeballs because like I wear when I was working outside with the kids, like I had my sunglasses on all the time, so I have like permanent like goggles on my face. Oh, yeah I'm trying to I'm trying to correct that, too. As somebody who has to wear glasses, I always get that one on the bridge of my nose right where the. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Take a little battle mark. ah That's all. So so, Danny, I wanted to ask you before we get started. um Do you feel like answering more than one question this time?
00:01:35
Speaker
You're asking a lot. You're telling me to actually put in some effort. I know. I asked you to do other things and you didn't do that either, so I don't know.
00:01:46
Speaker
Then again, I am a self-described answer-mancer, so I should probably answer some questions. I was going to say, you can't be an answer-mancer if you don't answer some
Retro Episode and Audience Questions
00:01:55
Speaker
questions. I better answer some answers here today.
00:01:59
Speaker
um Okay, so this one is going to be a throwback, a retro episode from when Josh and I first aired this episode and episode two, I believe. So I realized, Danny, you haven't gotten to answer some of these questions, so I'm curious to hear some of your takes. So without further ado, shall we get into it? Please, good sir.
00:02:19
Speaker
All right. So up first, we have a question from Keith White. This is a he this is a question he posted on Quora quite some time ago. Apparently he is a former scientist and now he's just old, opinionated and retired. So for you, Keith. So Keith goes on to say my neighbor is pregnant. She believes Wi-Fi has some kind of radiation and will harm the child. So she asked me to turn off my Wi-Fi. How should I respond to her? So Danny,
00:02:48
Speaker
This person needs to respond to their neighbor who thinks their Wi-Fi is killing their pregnant self or pregnant unborn baby. What do we do? Uh, I mean, the the jerk in me wants to rename my Wi-Fi to something worse. Right. Like, like, yeah, like they're five thousand or something. Right. Exactly. Exactly. um Or just no.
00:03:18
Speaker
Oh, man, what would I do?
Wi-Fi Concerns and Humor
00:03:23
Speaker
I mean, would you talk to them?
00:03:28
Speaker
I wouldn't want to talk to them because i I don't want to like have to deal with that. I. Is there a way to like block. ah Certain Wi-Fi is like, could I go to them and be like, hey, let me see your computer?
00:03:44
Speaker
I just, you know, I can set up a ah ah net basically, they'll block all the Wi-Fi, but really all I'm doing is blocking my Wi-Fi so it doesn't show up on our thing. I do think that there is a way to hide Wi-Fi so that way your phone doesn't try to connect to them. Or you can even, I think some phones even allow you to, or maybe all phones at this juncture, I think they allow you to ah Like if you think it's suspicious or if you don't you know want your phone to pick it up, yeah, I think you can just say forget this one or or lose this one or something like that. I'm pretty sure there's a way. Also, is this neighbor the only person that has Wi-Fi nearby? If I were to look at my Wi-Fi right now and I live like relatively further apart than most people, I would still see like five or six of them.
00:04:35
Speaker
but Right? That's normal it's a good question. Like just Xfinity Wi-Fi and stuff. I think there's an optimum hot spot somewhere. like Yeah, yeah like those like the ones they install on on the towers, on the phone poles. Yeah. like I'm sorry. Is it just his Wi-Fi that's a problem? i would just You know what? I would change it and then just say, yes, I got rid of it.
00:04:59
Speaker
Just change the name of your Wi-Fi because that's obviously what they know, right? If it says like so and so is Wi-Fi. Just change the name to something else. I don't know. cut Yeah, change it to like and then. um Good vibes Wi-Fi or something and then just say, yeah, I got rid of mine just to help you out. And they won't know that this other Wi-Fi is yours. Yeah, I mean, like.
00:05:26
Speaker
This is kind of a strong ask for like, you know, maybe. Maybe change the name of the Wi-Fi to say something like like a web link that says. um
00:05:45
Speaker
ah Something like. Like a web link that says like, hey, go to this website that will tell you like the myths about what hurts your unborn child and stuff like that way didn't get educated or but maybe maybe the role of them. Yeah, maybe they're old school and you just talk like some piece of paper under the door that says like, hey, you know,
00:06:05
Speaker
or go full Bugs Bunny on it and go knocking on the door in like a disguise, you know, in a hat, and maybe you look kind of a funny, like old-timey accent. Like, how did that happen? I just want to tell you all about the dangers of pregnancy and what is and isn't dangerous. Are you pregnant? Are you a child? Oh, that's fantastic. Here, here's some information on how to make your baby healthy and some myths about what won't hurt your baby. Have you heard this one about Wi-Fi? You know, and I just kind of go for it. Go hire Adam to go deliver this message for you.
00:06:32
Speaker
You know, I think Josh said something like that, too. Yeah. seven ah But yeah, that's where that's where I'm at. Bugs Bunny it. Right. I would say just change the name and be done with it. And I know a lot of people are probably going to be like, well, you know how it would be so obvious that all you do is. Yeah, I know. But critical thinking is obviously not this woman's strong point. So I think we're good.
00:07:02
Speaker
Yeah. um
00:07:06
Speaker
So I'm a little distracted. I'm not going to lie. I need to. before Well, before I tell you why I'm distracted, I need to tell you another answer I thought of just a second ago. because What if we. You know, most kids have phones by the time they're like three or four years old. A lot of kids potty train with phones in their hands, right? So why don't we just have this woman swallow a small phone? That way they're she can let her baby learn with like some baby Einstein shit while it's still in the womb.
00:07:33
Speaker
And then that way it'll be like knock knock came on there's no wifi in here i'm using up all my data and then the mom can be like oh shit i'm sorry baby. You know let me go ask the neighbors at the turn there's back on that way i can maybe use there so you can continue you you know texting you know.
00:07:50
Speaker
hot people while you're waiting to be born. you know is This is clearly the correct answer. um Whoever was asking, I forget you Dave, I'm sorry. Keith. Yeah, Keith, thank you. Keith, clearly, ah this is what you should do is invent a microphone. um Again, I don't trust the mom, so I would just like slip it into her morning yogurt or something.
00:08:14
Speaker
There you go. Yeah, just wrap it up in like a piece of prosciutto or maybe like wrap it in pean like dip it in some peanut butter and I just yeah. Right down the hatch. Wrap it up in a slice of deli ham or something and just, you know, hold it out. Yeah, or just get really good at slingshotting and it just as she walks out and it'll be like a bug flu in there and then just like duck, you know, that was just I know you did it and then she'll learn to love Wi-Fi. Mm hmm.
00:08:43
Speaker
Although I will say, as far as Wi-Fi
Disconnecting and Relaxation
00:08:47
Speaker
is concerned, I do think people hit the panic button a bit too quickly when there is none. Like when it goes down or there's an issue. Like I get annoyed when like my computer doesn't know whether the Wi-Fi should be working. But like if there's an outage or something, I'm like, well, I guess I'll entertain myself some other ways. But some people legitimately lose their shit when there's no Wi-Fi around to use. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I'll panic if I'm working from home that day and there's no Wi-Fi.
00:09:13
Speaker
But like if it just happens on its own, I'm like, oh, well, that really sucks. I was watching you know YouTube or something. I guess I'll just play an offline game, whatever. The power going out gets me a lot. But again, ah you know I live off technology. Well, I mean, it does suck to be without power. I mean, I do get that. um yeah But internet alone doesn't.
00:09:37
Speaker
doesn't kill me too much. Yeah, I mean, like, especially like it depends on what time of year it is to like I take solace like at the power does go out and it's not like a totally stormy day. I just go outside in the summertime. i' like All right. Well, I guess that's my cue to get the fuck outside. You know, but usually it happens when it's a storm or something. But I also just enjoy watching a storm. So like I can find ways to entertain myself. We got a bucket of Legos for exactly this reason. Exactly. Exactly. You know, like I'll play with Legos again. I don't care.
00:10:06
Speaker
No, I was waiting. I was waiting for an episode to buffer today that I was finishing editing for role players. And then I was like, you know, I could just look at this, but that was kind of like my motivation to go outside was like, I was like, I'm going to get up, you know, walk away from my computer while this is buffering because it takes a little bit of energy anyway. So like everything else is going to run slow.
00:10:25
Speaker
I'm gonna let this happen i'm gonna go i'm gonna go pet the dogs or something just to be away from my computer and before i knew it i was like mark i'll get outside. fuck I'm gonna go outside and then i got all this outside and i was like man. Why do this more like i just just come outside for like twenty minutes and just not do anything it's nice to just not look at my phone i left my phone inside. I just laid there on the grass and i was like it's kinda nice to like not have anything that i have to like constantly be like watching.
00:10:52
Speaker
you know, aside from my burning flesh, but like, um, but it was nice to feel like I was just kind of in the moment, like where the and animals would come and take their ah little turns when the other animal walk away and like, this guy, nice, it's kind nice to sit out here and pet the dog or the cats and have nothing else to do.
Nature and Favorite Biomes
00:11:08
Speaker
There are times where I've gone out on the breezeway and I just sit there with my eyes closed. I mean, I'm surprised I haven't actually fallen asleep yet, but yeah, it's great to just like,
00:11:16
Speaker
put the phone down and and just kind of go away for 10, 20 minutes and just kind of let your brain wander. They say you should do that for like a healthy mentality. You need to just let your brain have time to just kind of do its own thing. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I 100 percent agree with that. And like as much as I think about that, I don't do it enough. um I took yeah ah meditating a while back.
00:11:44
Speaker
And I do that every night. But you know when I climb into bed and go to sleep, I will lay there with my eyes closed and just let my mind just kind of wander. I know a lot of people will try and you know purposely let the go to sleep as fast as possible. But i like I let it wander and I just kind of lean into it. you know Whatever it comes up with, I lean into.
00:12:13
Speaker
um And then I practice just clearing my mind, which is a lot harder than you'd think. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Just being able to do like simple mental exercises like that. It really does make a huge difference. I notice the difference in quality of my sleep if I do it or when I don't.
00:12:32
Speaker
No, I agree. I think. I think for me, um I've been like really enjoying like a little bit more of a, like I love when it's hot out or breezy. I just, it doesn't matter to me, but like when the, when the wind is rustling, that's like my favorite time to just like the only way that I can clear my head is like focus on the noise of something else. But even then, like it's not always clear because my brain goes, Hey, this kind of sounds like this, but like tree rustling, like leaves blowing is the only thing that my brain doesn't think of. Like, Oh, that sounds like a song.
00:13:08
Speaker
or old that makes me think of this thing I want to think about. um Like sometimes I try to think about like his air conditioning is like right outside my window, like the big central air one that we have. So like when that thing kicks on all here is like, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I'd like to try to think, ah think about that. But all I hear is like, I think of like a club, I just like, do so I can't do that. But when that thing kicks off, and I can just sit outside the wind blows, and I hear the leaves rustling, I go, Oh, yeah,
00:13:35
Speaker
That's so chaotic enough that like it's entertaining on its own, that my brain can just relax on that noise and not like have to connect it to anything, you know? What's your favorite like, I guess like biome to be in, if I had to give it a word, like for me, I would love to just be in a forest all the time.
00:14:00
Speaker
I love just being surrounded by trees and leaves and the sounds of the forest and everything. I used to go camping a lot. I love it. Well, your favorite, like atmosphere. I haven't been in a lot of other biomes to give an honest answer. like and I've never been to a desert or on top of a mountain or anything, but like.
00:14:22
Speaker
But as we discussed in previous episodes, my my vonderlust, I do very much enjoy like big open spaces. I can just move um even if I'm not going to move that much through them. I think it brings me joy to know that I absolutely could if I decide right now to just sprint in any direction and be fine. Like I'm just like have plenty of room to do that.
Friendship vs. Romantic Commitments
00:14:47
Speaker
You know, so yeah, that's for me. If there's a lot of grass and a lot of room to just run,
00:14:51
Speaker
Like then, you know, I think it just makes my brain think, oh, endless possibilities in all directions. Maybe I'll throw a Frisbee. Maybe I'll do some cartwheels. Maybe I'll do nothing. I don't know. But next time you come over, we'll bring you to the local park. That's all like that. Yeah. and It's just a nice park up here, too. Huh? It's just nothing like it's just a huge grassland with.
00:15:16
Speaker
um It has like barbecue stations and stuff so you could bring food and just run around and and do nothing. Yeah, that's nice. Or even just run around and and just like, yeah, like, I don't know. It's just. The feeling of grass, this the sight of grass and then like just seeing that open space is so nice.
00:15:41
Speaker
um ah Could you know, I just unrelated for my distraction earlier. I have ah my own TOQ submitted question that I have just now that I thought of. So if I may, Danny, I would like to submit a question for the answer managers to answer. I'd love to answer a user submitted question.
00:16:07
Speaker
I would love to as well. So maybe we can discuss it together. So this question comes from Adam from ah the ah the Western part of Pennsylvania. um And he says, what's up? Answer Mancers on TOQ. It's your boy Adam here. um And, you know, I just had a question. You know, I report i record my podcast, my very well-known, very well-received podcast called Role Players every Sunday.
00:16:37
Speaker
I recorded every Sunday and you know we had the same schedule going for a while and then just just recently my friend, ah my best friend who happened to be there from the beginning and you know helped me launch fun installers, messaged and said, hey, I know it's last minute, but could we potentially record our podcast several hours earlier or on another day something came up?
00:17:01
Speaker
Which i responded do you have a date is that the last minute thing at your canceling on cuz you do that when girls are involved me said yeah i'm taking her axe throwing cuz you never been there before. And so i'm a little upset because. You know these are very similar traits that my friend does wear when women get into his life all of a sudden everything becomes about that.
00:17:24
Speaker
So but at the same time, I want to be supportive and I've helped him build his his dating profiles because I know he gets lonely. He he told me before he's not as strong as me. He likes to not be single since he got back into the dating world. So he said, I just really miss having a woman around. So should I be angry? Is there a better way for me to tell him a little disappointed or should I just be a full supportive friend and say, you go get her, buddy, we can totally record another day.
00:17:50
Speaker
Signed Adam, the biggest fan. He I love that Adam guy on your show. Thanks. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yeah, he's the second best dancer, man. So he's great. So Danny, you know what they say. First is the worst. Second is best. Start is the one with the big old breast um or something like that. ah Hey, I love bratwurst. I'll go first. I don't mind. I love bratwurst as well, especially a good chicken bratwurst.
00:18:17
Speaker
with ah some cheese in the middle. That way, when you bite it, the cheese just like explodes in your mouth. So nice. You're going to make me hungry. Yeah. Anyway, how do we help this poor guy? That's a toughie. That's that's a good one. I mean, I totally understand where the friend is coming from. if If it bothers them that much to be alone, I can see why they would move heaven and earth to kind of, you know,
00:18:43
Speaker
ah get that girl to be the center of their their world for a bit and there's always the honeymoon phase and stuff too so that's always to take into account and I think honestly this is one of those times where you just gotta you know buckle up the big boy pants and and sit down with your friend and say hey look I love that you found this girl and that you two are doing great and stuff but We need you here at this time. you know we've We've been doing this for years at this time. It's a time that works for everyone. It's not something we can just change at a moment's notice. And I would really appreciate it if you could schedule things based around that. you know Instead of having to move us ahead a couple hours, why don't you take her on a date a couple hours earlier or on a different day?
00:19:35
Speaker
It that sounds like it would be an easier change than all of us changing when we would do our thing. Right, because I mean, you know, Cass schedule like she's three hours ahead of me. Adrian is six hours. i know I'm sorry, Cass is three hours behind me. she Adrian is six hours ahead of me and we're two in the same time zone.
00:19:56
Speaker
And so when we when every time we have to say, can we do earlier or cast is already up at like six or seven a.m. sometimes a little bit later, eight a.m., nine a.m., depending on where I would explain this, I would I would have Adam explain this to their friend ah because maybe the friend just kind of forgot or took it, you know, took it for granted and and it just slipped their mind that some of these players are at wildly different time zones and just remind them like, hey,
00:20:25
Speaker
You know, we do it at this time for a reason. It's the only time where everybody's kind of able to make it work without killing themselves. We would really appreciate it if you would, yeah we don't mind you going on dates, but set up your dates around this prior commitment that you've made.
00:20:43
Speaker
rather than throwing the prior commitment away to go on a date. Yeah, and it's not really that hard to reschedule. I mean, sometimes it is, to be honest. Don't tell them that. It depends week to week. But really, you know, because honestly, I could just say, all right, well, let's record tomorrow. like but we're're We're recording this on a friday right now me and you and tomorrow i'm trying to convince him to like, come out with me and josh to go to this really nice bakery i like going to cuz i had seen my buddy josh in a long time he lives farther away too, but hey when we meet up on this show i haven't seen you a little while he says okay yeah let's go to the bakery talk.
00:21:19
Speaker
I text Justin, do you want to go to that bakery? and He says, uh, yeah, okay. Maybe I could do that. And he always like, it's always non-committal. Maybe I suppose, and sometimes they'll come or sometimes you won't. So I'll be extra cheese if he doesn't, if he doesn't come tomorrow. Um, because the day after is when we record, which is when he wants to take, this is the first date, by the way, he's never met this girl. This is the first date. So like, and she lives pretty far away from where he lives. And I'm just like,
00:21:46
Speaker
So I'm just a little annoyed that I knew right away. The moment he said something came up, usually if it's like family plans or something, he knows like a week in advance so we can change the schedule a little bit so we have time to figure out what day works. But the moment he says, I know it's last minute, but the things happen. I was like, did you get a date? Because I know you're desperate. Do you really need this date? Is that why you're changing a recording time? And the moment he agreed right away, I was like, I knew it. I knew it. It's like typical Justin. The moment the moment that a woman comes into the picture, like the whole rest of the world just like ceases to exist.
00:22:15
Speaker
And, um you know, it's not really that bad, but like he does become obsessive because he just really hates being alone. Right. And there's some to be said for that. I don't I don't want to make it sound like I think he's wrong either. Oh, honestly, he's totally wrong. I still love him, though. He's just an asshole, though. Well, in all honesty, like my my guiding principle when it comes to any of this stuff online, right, between Beluga's D and&D or the show or something.
00:22:44
Speaker
Real life has to come first. That is my mantra. If something comes up that is unavoidable or or like I really need to do on a Friday night, unfortunately, I have to push this. I get that. A girl is kind of like you're kind of riding the line, you know, ah there's the whole bros before thing. I'm not going to say the name because I don't believe in that for like
00:23:13
Speaker
Yeah, it's it is. A little disrespectful to you and everybody else who plays. Honestly, I would just hold it anyway and just DMPC his character. I mean, we just finished and just be like, episode I don't want this to happen. Then you have to show up and just kind of force it. I mean, I'm also fine with a bye week. Like we're still we still going to wait for Adrian because like he's so far ahead. He's sleeping right now. So like.
00:23:43
Speaker
We have to wait for him to wake up and say, could I do it? And Kaskin needs to be OK if she can start earlier, because it's like way earlier for her. I think, what is it? 1 o'clock is when we usually start between 1230 and 1, which I think is it's around like 9 or 10 a.m. for her. ah So like moving it further into the day is pretty early for her. And like that's when she does all her morning chores with her kid and everything in and a close.
00:24:04
Speaker
yeah Laundry like I don't want to like jump into her life too because like you said life comes first So I feel bad that three of us have like life blocked out and this is like the the vacant space, you know I'm not really that upset by it but I was distracted while we were talking because he literally messaged it while like we you were talking and I was like yeah Can't not respond need to answer So then when I guess like, hey, is this a girl? And he's like, yep. I'm like, fuck. I mean, I get it. It's it's just it's it's disrespectful on the way to you and everybody else. Like he made a prior commitment with you guys knowing full well that that is a thing he has to do on a Saturday. Sunday or Sunday. Sorry. Knowing full well that that means to do on a Sunday. So, you know, unless like
00:24:53
Speaker
this girl is literally going to die within the next 48 hours and this is literally the only chance they have to go out. Is it really that big a deal that you go out at that exact time? You couldn't go out on a Saturday. You couldn't go out Sunday night after you guys had gone. He did say he was like, we got to go early on Sunday because the mall closes and that's where the axe place is. And it closes down like earlier in the day because it's Sunday. And I was like, then go Saturday night. Like I know we're meeting up like earlier in the morning for the bakery, but I mean, like you have all day Saturday. Like we're not going to be together the entire day. He's an old man. He likes to be out for like maybe an hour and then he wants to go home. You also said that you start at like one o'clock on Sunday.
00:25:36
Speaker
Yeah, like 9 AM on Sunday and go X throwing. Be done by like 11 the latest. Kiss each other goodbye. He's still home and with like an hour to spare.
00:25:48
Speaker
Yeah, I totally just need to send me a picture of this girl. I need to, you know, I need to, I need to see, I need to, you know, show them, send me your profile. I need to size her up. Make sure, make sure she's worth it. Make sure she ain't a scammer. Justin's not as date dating experiences. I am. I was like, I need to see what's going on with this girl and make sure that I need to be upset about this or not. Send me some of your profile. Let me see what's going on here. You know, she seems a bit crazy. You know, I'm going to look for those all guys you look like the pictures and they all just have the crazy eye.
00:26:17
Speaker
Yeah, somehow the crazy eye or if like, you know, if every picture she has like seven cats in her in her photos, because there's a thing, Justin's already said he's nervous to date women who also have cats because one of the reasons he broke up with his most recent girlfriend is because their cats didn't get along after several years of living together. And like, I don't care, you know, about animals all that much, but I guess that's a big deal for animal lovers. So like,
00:26:42
Speaker
ah You know so if i look in there and i say okay is justin blinded because the girl showed him attention and he's not realizing oh she has a bunch of kitty cats and my cats might not like her cats if we continue seeing each other. You know cuz he'll overlook he'll overlook things that he doesn't. Why i guess i'm kind of protective of the glasses it's the whole um night call yeah the honeymoon phase.
00:27:04
Speaker
Right, because he'll overlook it because he thinks, well, this time will be different. And so I'm like, I don't know. Let me hang on. Just let me. Let's let us learn from what happened before. And she just says, oh, my cats are sweet. And you go, OK, great. Let's do it. And then they're not sweet. Or maybe they're just not sweet to your cats.
00:27:21
Speaker
And you had the same situation going. Yeah. But I don't know. I'm not actually that upset about it. But I think I i think I have a future worry because he doesn't do well as if this is going to sound bad. And I'm not trying to air my dirty laundry on the show because like if if it were that serious to me at the moment, I wouldn't have brought it up. But like it is. It does set off a trigger because every time I've seen him in a relationship like I'm not even going to get into it, but he's made some big decisions very quickly in the few relationships he's had as an adult post high school and like because he's just not used to having a girlfriend. So when he has one, he's just like so desperate to keep it um like they'll move in very quickly together.
00:28:00
Speaker
Like he'll was like change his whole life around it. Like I won't see him for a long time. So I could just like, Hey, are you okay? What's going on? And they just settle into like old people territory where it's like, you know, like if I say, Hey, Justin, let's go to fucking Hershey this weekend and go check out the rides.
00:28:17
Speaker
Nah man, that ain't me. If a girl that he just met is like, hey Justin, I heard that Hershey's fun. Do you want to go this weekend? Oh yeah, absolutely. Let me cancel everything and let's drive three hours to go to Hershey. like It pisses me off to no end that like his love for me is not remotely as strong as his love for getting
Technology's Impact on Social Interactions
00:28:34
Speaker
ass. and like like It hurts me so much to know that my friend will like not want to do a thing with me, but totally like in a blink of an eye. Yeah, I'll go on a trip. well yeah I'll go on a road trip. I think I know what the problem here is.
00:28:47
Speaker
Well, Adam, you got to put out more. I used to. I try. You know, he's just he moved farther away. He lives out where the banjo is playing now. I barely even see him. I mean, I'm just hearing excuses here. It's no wonder he puts the the girls ahead. You know, no excuses. Danny, I drove out shortly after he moved because he moved in secret because his his mother hates me. So I wasn't allowed to come and help him move. So they moved in secret without telling me when.
00:29:14
Speaker
Um, and because his mom's a kind of beotch that's like holds a grudge from like a fight he and I had like 15 years ago that lasted like two months. And so then we got over it, we got past it, been buddies ever since, but she never got over it for some reason. on It's like she's in one of those overprotective conservative moms and like just I don't care. He loves her for some reason, but I don't. I don't care. so But like I went there. I drove an hour and some change out on a whim one day because I missed him and wanted to see if he was doing he was still unpacking.
00:29:46
Speaker
I showed up his mom and stepdad were there and his mom didn't speak a fucking word to me and I didn't realize you still mad about it but like didn't speak a word like it was awkward anytime she just avoided looking at me when talk to me at the stepdad he talked to me the whole time was asking questions about my family and everything. I drove all the way out there over an hour ride around the toll roads and everything.
00:30:07
Speaker
and helped him unpack, helped him get settled, helped him fix like his computer and get his Xbox working so he had something to do while it was waiting for the internet to be installed. I bought him a brand new router because we thought his router was broken after his internet was installed and I drove it to him. ah eventually Then we had to return it so we had to meet up and I gave him the second one.
00:30:28
Speaker
But like I went through a lot to make sure that young man was comfortable out there in the boonies by himself with only his parents there to help him. And they don't know how to do any of those things. you know But so I feel like I put out quite a bit over the past few months. it's just It's a very imbalanced relationship that we have. And I have yet to learn how to manage my feelings on it. That's all. I think, and this this goes um
00:30:56
Speaker
This is something I felt before. Uh, I do think, and I'm, I'm sorry, I'm going to, you know, criticize you a little bit here. Go ahead, bitch. You are, you are the definition of too nice to a fault. You know, like when you drove five plus hours to visit and then you were like, Hey, why don't you guys ever visit me?
00:31:22
Speaker
Look, I fully appreciated that you drove five hours to see me. I do. I would never hold it against you if you didn't, because it's a five-hour drive. The only reason I didn't recently, because ah because I couldn't afford it. Right. Well, and you had said at that time, you were like, I feel like you know I always try so much harder than everybody else. and Yeah, you do, because you put the bar like 30 miles into the air.
00:31:49
Speaker
Is it really that high? I don't think my bar is that high for friendship. it would It is insane to me that you would just drive five hours just to go visit somebody for a day. I feel like you never do that. I mean.
00:32:04
Speaker
ah Maybe that's like a little bit on the higher end, but I think my day-to-day bar for friendship isn't that high. like Not your day-to-day, but you do stuff like that. Yeah, I do stuff like that because I love my friends, but like my day-to-day stuff, I think other people's day-to-day bars just so much lower. They're like, hey let's hang out okay and then the day comes and they don't and no one's mad about it because they're like oh god i didn't have to hang out thank god or if they do hang out they show up in each other's house and then they just play on their phones the whole time for two hours and then leave. Like i think that's a shitty way to hang out but some people think that's fantastic i think that's on the lower end of the friend spectrum in my opinion.
00:32:45
Speaker
You know, where I'm like, hey, let's do stuff. Let's be adventurous. Let's talk. Let's like have a phone call. I tried to call you the other day, young man, and you didn't even call me back to leap when you talked to you yesterday. But you woke up and you didn't call me back, Mr. Not even a text. No, I said not even a text back. You sent me a message on Discord. but I know that my cellular device. That's where we always reach each other is Discord.
00:33:11
Speaker
You know, I just want to feel closer to you by talking to you on the phone for once, you know? I didn't want to be stuck to a computer. You sound like my mother.
00:33:20
Speaker
That's because your mom and I care. Right, Terry? You get it? I saw them yesterday, actually. I saw my parents yesterday. But I didn't. Thanks for the invite. I would have driven five hours or six hours. You know what? I don't doubt that.
00:33:36
Speaker
Uh, we talked about this long enough. I'm not really that upset by it, but I do have my fears over the situation. I do. I do think you, you can be a little too nice. Um, and it might just be an extrovert thing. I don't know. It might be just an old fashioned Adam thing. I don't know, but it lends itself to being disappointed later when other people can't keep up that, that energy of niceness that you have.
00:34:07
Speaker
And that's not a bad thing. I do get that to a degree. Like, I do know that that I was was going to go for the grand gestures, i like to do a lot of gifts or, you know, I know people prefer their own time, but I think that it's just societally I'm noticing.
00:34:21
Speaker
Maybe it's because I am this way, you know, but I am noticing that it's so much easier to find, especially since lockdown. Like, people have found ways to just realize, oh, I never have to leave my house. Businesses have evolved, so you never have to do anything. And like, that really, like, man, that really, that really grinds my nuts. That you're absolutely right about. We are absolutely becoming more i isolationist.
00:34:46
Speaker
Right. And so for people like me who crave like, you know, and I know it's extraversion, but also I just think it's like, you know, I used to think there's something wrong with me, but I think there's something wrong with everybody else. And maybe I'm closer to what normal should be because like.
00:35:01
Speaker
i I just think like, you know, pre technology that I am what people were. Oh, hey, let's do things. Let's go to be productive. Let's talk about stuff. You know, when phones were invented, people were delighted to make phone calls. You know, like, you know, when the fax was invented, people were faxing all sorts of shit just because it was fun and they make people feel connected to each other.
00:35:22
Speaker
and like And I know texts and then everything happened and I'm like, I see the advantages of all these beautiful things, but I feel so much farther away from everybody because of it. like you know like I know it allowed me to connect people via you know Discord and streaming when the pandemic happened and I was locked in and that was my solace, but it made me realize like the world is never going to be the same. i am I'm going to struggle so much harder now to connect to people in a way that makes me truly feel seen and loved in the way that I like to show love and show people that they're seen. So I do know that a lot of it is just like my brain maybe hasn't, I don't want to say evolved because I don't think what our brains are doing is evolution. But like, I don't think my brain has shifted gears to what most people's minds have accom, or have acclimated to.
00:36:09
Speaker
you know no so i do you're It's definitely a me problem at this point, I think, because everybody else is acclimated so well. No, not at all, actually. I was just watching a video all about ah Gen Alpha now that they're starting to get a little older. and um there's a huge if sho that There's a huge issue ah with Gen Alpha becoming super like isolationist and narcissistic.
00:36:33
Speaker
because all the narcissism is special yeah because of like the ability to never have to go out, the ability to um have social media super early and get a following. And yeah, no, you're absolutely right. Like all this technology, people aren't doing anything anymore. And I don't blame the kids. I want to make that clear. um Kids are going to do whatever you give them, right? If you give them an iPad at two,
00:37:03
Speaker
They're going to play with the iPad at two. If you give them access to Facebook at five, they're going to go on Facebook at five. And if you have, I'm sorry, I don't mean to get into this, but if you're going to like. Defund and destroy any worthwhile things to do outside, they're not going to go outside. You know, like I used to grow up, there were a whole bunch of parks around me.
00:37:29
Speaker
There was a forest behind me. That's all gone. The park was destroyed because it was run down. The forest behind me was made into a yeah ah an area for housing. It's like, OK, you want me to go outside. But like it's all just gray road and businesses at this point. like You need to have things outside for kids to do.
00:37:53
Speaker
for them to go outside. I know of one and baseball field in the area and it's like 10 minutes from me. I would have to drive 10 minutes just to get to a baseball field. I'm like, of course kids don't want to go out. There's nothing to do outside anymore.
00:38:14
Speaker
Right. Sorry. It's on my head, on my chest for a while. Well, I think especially inner city kids, like, you know, when I go to a lot of schools that are like in more suburban or urban areas.
00:38:25
Speaker
um you know, they don't have yards, they don't have grass. And the kids that have recess, they have like essentially a basketball court that they play on. And like, and I'm sure they're grateful for that. That's better than nothing. But like, there's no trees, there's not very many, there's not like any yards or anything. And most of them are just like, there's like giant cages or fences up around it. So like, they don't fall into the street and stuff. That's just how packed it is. So like, I do think that there's a lot of You know, I think there are a lot of cities that are making um a better effort to repair those. But I've seen the parks that a lot of these towns have. And I'm like,
Modern Communication Challenges
00:38:56
Speaker
yikes. Like, that's not like a lot of them have to drive like 30 minutes to get to like the nicer parks where there's actually grass and room to move. Yeah. You know, where people aren't just walking their dogs. I totally understand the argument that kids don't want to go out anymore. But like, don't pretend it's the kids that are the problem in that situation. Like, I mean, they're probably probably. Oh, yeah. Like,
00:39:17
Speaker
Kids are never going to want to go outside if they could watch TV. That's always been a thing since TV came out. But there were reasons to go out back then. You know you had your your your friends and your games that you could play. I remember playing in all of our yards with my friends and stuff. And like it's not that simple anymore. Most of that stuff is gone.
00:39:40
Speaker
And I think to kind of swing it all back around, I think for me, you know, i I'm seeing the difference in like Gen Alpha and Gen Z. And even, I mean, honestly, like when the smartphone, the first iPhone and Android phone that like had touchscreens came out, I hadn't got one for years until like, I had to have like my Gen Z neighbor teach me how to use my smartphone, because I had no fucking idea how to even use it.
00:40:07
Speaker
um But I remembered like there were older people I worked with at the time at the bank and everything that were just like all kids in their phones now and whatever and now I look around and people of all fucking ages and waiting rooms and parking lots while they're driving like it's hard to pry them away from it because it's built such like a serotonin dump for you that like whether it's bad or good you just can't help but keep scrolling and now are there are 10 year olds and have millions of dollars because they're gaining followings and just like you said that's like a big thing.
00:40:36
Speaker
I think giving a phone on a camera is one of the best a phone a camera on a phone is one of the best and worst things that we've ever done, at least HD cameras, because before it was just like a little baby thumbnail square that you took on like a flip phone. And that was awesome. You're like, Hey, I took a little baby picture of like, an egg, check it out. You know, but now it's like, Oh, if anybody even sees a pixel, Oh shit, picture. It's a terrible picture. My phone has like 25 gigabyte or um megapixel cameras. um And I'm not trying to complain about technology. I think that it has its place and I do think it evolving probably quicker than we realized that it would. But it is affecting how everyday adults too, like how they function and like
00:41:14
Speaker
You know, I think I've already said this, but even before the smartphone really took off, like I remember D and&D, like when all my friends would get together, eight of us around the table. And every time it was pizza time to call an order, it was if Adam's not going to call, I'm not going to order from a place unless it has online ordering.
00:41:32
Speaker
They were already too shitty to want to be on the phone to make an order um and i was like what the fuck is wrong with all of you like just give me the phone they're like oh i really want mama p's pizza next door but i don't wanna call. I don't have online ordering yet so let's just order from somewhere else i'm like fuck no i want mama p's to give it your phone like i'll call you know like i can't believe you gonna make your decision based on if you can order online or not that's crazy that's exclusively how i make my decisions.
00:41:58
Speaker
I know but and i didn't know. That's my problem, Danny. That's my problem. I know. I know. That's my problem. I know. So I just I'm not ready. I don't think I'll ever be truly ready for that. Like, like, and it does. It does hurt my heart a little bit. I'm not going to lie. Like, it does hurt me, um you know, and and I think it hurts because.
00:42:17
Speaker
There isn't a ton I can do about it globally or structurally, but the only thing I can do is try to help how I handle it and then just continue to be who I am and try to do my best to connect with people in a way that means a lot to me and hope that maybe they'll realize, oh, hey, this is fun, or I do like this, or I do miss this. you know But I think the hardest part is knowing that nobody on earth will ever love me as much as I love them.
00:42:42
Speaker
Like, and that's not because I don't think I'm lovable because i'm I'm fucking cute as hell. But like, just that I don't think people process emotion and process the world the way that I do. And it makes me feel very alone sometimes. um You know, but like,
00:42:58
Speaker
But that's why I will drive five hours for you. Well, here's what I will tell you. As somebody who loves you very dearly, I can honestly tell you it's not that you love us more than we love you. I do that. It's it's just different. It's a different love. I can appreciate that. Yes. You don't love me more. It's I do different. You don't. I do. No, I absolutely do.
00:43:27
Speaker
ah My capacity for love and how much my heart can expand is like superhuman and probably deadly to me eventually. Well, don't do that. Don't be like ah the one horse that had a hard way too big. I'm like um like the Grinch, where his heart grows three sizes that day. Mine don't do that. Mine was born that way. And it's just getting bigger. It was born that way. Hey, ah hey, hey.
00:43:54
Speaker
Anyway, you want to do a word of the day? I will answer one question. Technically answer two, because we answered that Adam guy's question. Well, actually, before we do word of the day, since we're off topic anyway, I have a bone to pick with you. Yeah, pick my bone, buddy. Oh, I will. Well, ah maybe I won't like that because I'm doing this on behalf of my mom. On behalf of your mom? Is she going to give us $10,000? She is not.
00:44:17
Speaker
Oh, that also didn't come out yet. That's probably why. That's that. Yes, that's why. Yeah, it could also be because when I saw her yesterday. Uh huh. I asked her point blank. I was like, hey, you know, you keep talking about how great the show is. We keep asking you to to write in and you never do. And she said, I did twice. mike Oh, that's funny because ah my co-host has never said anything about you writing in.
00:44:49
Speaker
I'm tapping a cast right now. Hey, can you check the email for the questions on our website? I was told somebody wrote in twice. She said she wrote in twice. And one time she um gave us a review.
00:45:05
Speaker
Really? Well, first of all, Terry, you're awesome. I haven't gotten any word of that, like, but Cass. So what happens with the website is I'm able to log into it now because Cass and I had to troubleshoot that because so she was the only one that could get in and out of it easily. There was some sort of protection that kept keeping me from fucking modifying it. So now that I got in, but the thing is like she has access to the email for some reason. And I love you, Cass, but Cass made it set to like her personal email or something that she uses for role players, which I can't get into. So like.
00:45:34
Speaker
Whenever the questions go in Cass fields every question every letter that we get so I'm curious of maybe she hasn't logged in ah and recently to let me know that we've gotten questions um I might redirect it back to like the standard role players one um But that is my guess as to why is that I'm betting dollars of donuts that she probably hasn't checked that email yet Which leads me to, you know, I have to remember to ah get back on that and. um ah
00:46:08
Speaker
You know, ah check it, my damn self. I just thought I would do that for her since she said she had actually written in that. Oh, my God. Can you imagine if if you guys finally look at that email and it turns out we've had like a whole bunch of people writing in.
00:46:28
Speaker
Yeah, I forgot the password to the role player's email. Whoops. I got to reset it again. I reset it right now, guys. Hang on. I reset it right now. Five, five, nine, eight, seven, two, five, nine, eight, seven, two. That's my that's my recovery code. I have to type in so I can change my password.
00:46:49
Speaker
You're getting an inside look, everyone. thats This is what it's like. This is how it is for TOQ and fun installers. Yeah. All right. Let me see if I typed it in properly. All right. Here we go. Save password. What are you talking about? I can't use a password I've used before. God damn it. ah Damn, my brain finally having like three passwords I can come up with.
00:47:20
Speaker
All right, here we go. All right. All right, guys, I'm going to try to log in and see if it went to the role players when I don't think it did. But um I don't think it did. I think it's the castes, but I'm going to check it because I haven't looked at this in a long motherfucking time. Let's see. Where did your mom leave us a ah review at? That I couldn't tell you. She didn't tell me when she just so told me that there were two and she left a review.
00:47:49
Speaker
Well, dang, Terry, I'm sorry. I'm going to get to the bottom of this shit ah because, you know, naughty Cass if she hasn't been looking. Oh, I had somebody follow me on itch.io. Oh, my God.
00:48:06
Speaker
but Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh, that was Moses. Moses liked the list I made on Podchaser. I thought that was her that reviewed us on Podchaser. Well, anyway, Terry, thank you so much. This show is falling apart, man. I got a Wait, who the fuck are all these people? I have a ton of messages from Podchaser, from Fiverr. You know what? I'll look at this later, but it's not here. If she sent it over the in the past like two months, I don't see it in my email, so it must be in Cass's. So I will get to the bottom of it and scold that young lady for not telling me that you sent us questions.
Linguistic Humor and Slang
00:48:40
Speaker
If she can't be trusted, then, you know, then I might just have to put her out to pasture, you know, like she's
00:48:50
Speaker
She's getting up there, you know, she's getting she's wise. no You know, she we can we can just like domesticator. Ew, gross. I don't want the inside of the house.
00:49:03
Speaker
Gross. What? Actually, wait, no, it's it's Cass. I'm ambivalent. I don't care. Hey, I just found out that somebody made a podcast but podcast list and role players got featured in the top 10 savage roles podcast of all time on a podchaser list. Oh, my God. How did I miss that? That's awesome. Oh, yeah.
00:49:27
Speaker
ah I'm learning so much this is crazy, Swayze. man ah so That's like a wild sun. Anyway, what are we talking about? You want to do the word of the day? Sure. um If you're listening to this and you listen to the last episode, and I know you did, but that 10,000, you know, it's in good hands.
00:49:56
Speaker
Look, Terry, invest in me. I will i will make you proud. na He'll remember to check his emails from now on. And I'll fix mine. Okay, Cass is checking. All right, well, while she does that, today's word of the day is scrofulus. Do you know scrofulus?
00:50:23
Speaker
Scrofulus, scrofulus. It's an adjective. But, you know, I'm feeling a little scruffulous. Are you? That's not good. Yeah. After being out in the sun. I don't know. I know. I don't think I know that word. What is scruffulous? Is an adjective for morally tainted. So I hope you're not feeling too scruffulous. Yeah. After our talk about technology and not loving me, I'm feeling a bit scruffulous. If I'm being honest. i Are you? Are you feeling like a bad bad boy?
00:50:57
Speaker
I'm feeling like being a bad boy and taking down the central, like, communication system of our world. That way, you know, we will have to learn how to rebuild and exist without Wi-Fi. Yeah. OK. One, yes, that is morally scruffy, less rude. But two, our show is on the Internet. Yeah, I know. And we'll have to just film it live and have people travel to watch the show or we'll get on the radio. Radio still exists.
00:51:24
Speaker
You know, we do a radio show. I've been told I have a face for radio. You do. You have a beard for radio, too. Oh, thank you. That's yeah. My friends are so nice to me. I am nice. You just told me I was. too
00:51:42
Speaker
Would you like to send me a screenshot and she doesn't have any any emails from the from the Web page? Did you submit the questions properly, Terry? Did you send it through the Web site?
00:51:56
Speaker
I don't know, you know what, I, sure I just, I just stopped to listen as if she was on the call. She's not here. Um, scruffulous. How do you spell scruffulous? It is S C R O F U L O U S. That's what I thought it was. Scruffulous.
00:52:19
Speaker
Interesting. And it means to be what? It's morally morally tainted. So you have like scruffulous behavior if if you know you have like your own agenda kind of thing. Like you're doing something good, but it's really just an act. It's morally tainted. You could be chaotic good or maybe chaotic neutral. It doesn't even need to be good, to be honest. Like, ah yeah, let me let me read you some examples of scruffulous.
00:52:47
Speaker
ah The leader's scruffulous behavior was evident in her frequent abuses of power and disregard for ethical standards. The pla pan haagon entered yeah the play's antagonist was portrayed as a scruffulous character whose corrupt actions ultimately led to his downfall. ah Once again, thank you ah to dictionary dot.com for your word of the day. Thank you.
00:53:15
Speaker
Scrofulus. Scrofulus. Scrofulus. OK. Scrofulus is somebody who's morally tainted. Somebody who's just not that good a guy.
Hosting Etiquette and Social Cues
00:53:25
Speaker
Well, I think the rest of the world is becoming more scrofulus because of technology. They dehumanize people easier. They empathize less. And they take more stock and a cute video on Instagram than they do saying something nice to somebody in person.
00:53:42
Speaker
I think everyone is becoming a bit more scrofulous and I need to save everyone and if I have to be more scrofulous myself to unscrofulize the world, then that is what I will do. That's lit fam. We should all get off our yacht and get out there. Yeah, no, no cap, no cap, type shit, type shit. up For real. Yeah, for real, for real. If you know, you know, we got to go to the government and get them to change.
00:54:08
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. We got a good Rizzler on them. Yeah, no skibbity, no doubt. No skibbity, yeah. Yeah, so ah anyway, do you want to answer one more question? Yes, anything to stop speaking in New Slang. All right. So this one is from C Shouse, a psychology major from Quora. And they ask, how do you respectfully tell you guests in your home that they have overstayed their welcome?
00:54:38
Speaker
If you ever find out, you tell me. it You don't know how to tell people like, you know, um um I want you to leave.
00:54:51
Speaker
I mean, I usually just be like, well, you know, it's getting kind of late and we got I gotta get ready for bed sooner. I, you know, like if it's getting to eight or nine o'clock and it's dark out, I'm like, hey, man, it's been great having you here, but it is getting kind of late.
00:55:08
Speaker
You know, but like, and I feel like that's the right way to do it, but I still feel like an a-hole doing it because I know like I do have multiple friends that have this as an issue where they're like, Oh, I just need to stop by for like 20 minutes to to ask you something or like pick up something. And then four hours later, we're still talking. And it's partly my fault because, you know, maybe we're talking about a new video game that came out or something. And I start going off too.
00:55:39
Speaker
ah But then suddenly Mel's giving me the look of like, you know, it was supposed to be 20 minutes. ah And well, you think that maybe you're keeping in prison, maybe you continue to talk, makes them feel like they can't leave. No. You don't think so? No, because I. um I give people plenty of room to to talk back and at any point they could say, look, it's been grand and I'll say, OK, buddy,
00:56:08
Speaker
and no Right, but if they continue to talk, you don't say, hey, hey, we can't do that anymore. You can know, it's OK. No, i don't do that. You're right. Maybe i' maybe I'm the one that's ah weasel holding them or whatever it was called. Buttonhole. Buttonhole. you you mix the eye out weel and buttonhole Maybe mount weaseling their buttonhole or something.
00:56:30
Speaker
I mean, it does happen. There's there's times where like I've like gotten all the way to the door and had my hands on the door and then someone keeps talking and then I find myself like back in the chair because like they seem like they're really eager to keep talking about stuff. So like, you know, but this was long before I just got to the nerve to just say, well, do you guys do the the the thigh slap in New Jersey or the knee slap? No, we have the thigh slap. Absolutely. OK, that's like a big one. It's just like you just say, well, and you slap your legs. Well, yeah if you need to leave, well,
00:56:59
Speaker
And then that's the cue to like, let me know, like, I'm leaving or I want you to leave. Well, the thing is we do it ironically, like. um If like we were at a party or something and the party starting to die out or something and somebody says something kind of like. Funny, but weird or inappropriate, I'll just be like, well, on that note, I think it's time for me to leave. Yep.
00:57:27
Speaker
Well, no, we use it sincerely over here. We're just like, well, and then you stand up and then that's let people know that you want to go or that you want them to go. um Yeah. My friend Jess used to say, all right, well, I'm going to kick you out now, you know, like an idol. And we'd know like I knew what people's like times were like, you know, because I'm that asshole that'll stay like. But like I also recognize like when people get tired, when they typically want to start turning in. So if I see the clocks getting closer, like eight, thirty nine o'clock and I know they go to bed early, I'll usually start to like, well, I'm going home. And that's usually how I tell people is like, all right, I'm leaving something like that. And like I just end up and go put my shoes on like right away. It is something I need to get better at um telling people like, hey, you know, it's been great having you over, but get the fuck out. you Part of the problem now is like
00:58:18
Speaker
And this is a totally me and Mel thing. I know it is. But because of the way we are, right, we can want somebody to come over and be like, oh, yeah, man, it's going to be great to have you here. And the second they walk in the house, we're like. Well. It's been fun, but I want you to leave now. That's what I'm saying. That's the that's the problem. No, I know it is. I know.
00:58:44
Speaker
Do you see why I think this is a sickness? Yes, I agree with you. Even I can be in it and still know it's not right. It hurts me. It wounds me. so I would be.
00:58:58
Speaker
This is where my line would be if you said, hey, Adam, you should totally come over and I drive nearly six hours to get there. And you say, actually, change of plans. I'd probably burn your house down. I would never do that to you. I would. I would probably just like start just like just thinking of ways how I'm going to punish you for like the next week. No, I would never do that. Because like that, honestly, actually, no, I probably wouldn't do that. I like i would not let you forget it.
00:59:26
Speaker
I have this thing a lot of people have forgotten about. Uh, it's called empathy. And, uh, if my friend is driving six hours to see me, I can put myself in their shoes and say, okay, the day is theirs. They're spending double digits traveling just to see me round trip. Like the day is theirs. I'm sorry. Anything else that's happening.
00:59:52
Speaker
other than like somebody close to me dying, the day is theirs. I don't know. I'm coming to the funeral or whatever's happening. That's fine. You know what? If you want to do that, I would say fine. ah Look, hi, everybody. This is my friend. He drove super far to get here. He doesn't know the person, but we were going to hang out and he's here. So deal with it. Yep. I'll give him a kiss. I'll give him. ah I'll give a good eulogy. Just tell me a few points about him and say, oh, Derek.
01:00:21
Speaker
I remember when I first met Derek five minutes ago. Pause for laughter. um yeah You know, pause for laughter. I will. OK. I don't have shame when it comes to those things. I've given. Oh, Dennis, you are such a menace. Yeah. Fun fact, I have given one, two. I think four, four eulogies in my life. I think four somewhere on that. No, I don't think I've done any. Yeah.
01:00:50
Speaker
I volunteer all the time, man. I'll go up. I don't have anything prepared, but I'll say something. I tried to prepare something for my brother, but I ended up barely saying anything that I wrote. But like outside of that, I just wing it. I just go up and just start talking. I'll find something to say eventually.
01:01:03
Speaker
um It is a little empowering because you can infuse it with humor. You can be funny at a eulogy and like it kind of like helps people like diffuse like all these negative feelings are feeling because they think of the nice things and everything. You know, so like I'm always having a little bit of a comedy bit in my eulogies is, you know, you have to you got it. It can't just be gloom and doom the whole time. Maybe I'll remember Adam as he was when he had the shit in his own hand.
01:01:30
Speaker
and hold it for a while. Yeah, it's just a bathroom was taken.
01:01:36
Speaker
And people were like, is that real? Like 100 percent. I said, I said, I got a coffin. I set up out of the coffin. That's real, guys. That happened for real. See, you know how long it took me to like wire him up to be able to do that? Yeah, it freaks the fuck out of everybody. You have to people die a heart attack. They think it's fake. They come punch my corpse. The life goes on. You know,
01:01:58
Speaker
um Anyway, yeah. So what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. How to let people know to leave. Yeah. Sorry. I forgot to. Yeah. um Same thing at my funeral. Just slap my knees and say, well, well, you know, for me, I'm out. Yeah. um But yeah, like and I die. I will usually say, well, it's getting late, you know, and I do want to like have some time to myself before I go to bed. um I just tell it as it is, but it is hard ah still to this day for me to do that.
01:02:28
Speaker
I don't know. I feel like such an asshole kicking them out because it's like they went out of their way to come here and we don't go over other people's houses. Everybody has to come to my house because everyone else owns cats and dogs and I'm allergic to them. And they all we all operate under the understanding that if I go to your house, I'm going to be miserable. I'm going to start sneezing, coughing and all this other bullshit. And then the next day I will be a Pokemon. Yes.
01:02:58
Speaker
And then the next day I will be just out of it and like coma toast the whole fucking day. And I've had friends be like, man, I wish you could just come over and hang out with us. Uh, and we didn't always have to go to your place. And I'm like, yeah, trust me. I know we had that. And then you decided to get a puppy. Um, but I'm not bitter.
01:03:21
Speaker
But yeah, so it it's something I have to do a lot when we have people come over. Because you know if it's me at your place, chances are I'm going to want to leave just about when you want me to. um Just because, again, I have a social battery that is very finite. And being around others quickly drains it. I could do shit like this online all day.
01:03:45
Speaker
But when I'm around other people for real, after about an hour or two, I'm starting to get to the point where I'm like, all right, this has been fun. And after about another three, I'm like, I'm dying. Can we please leave now? um I'm dying. Can we please leave? But yeah, so it's it's an issue I have to come up a lot with because, you know.
01:04:08
Speaker
I always feel like I'm literally kicking somebody out, and I guess I am, but it it hurts. I don't want to be the friend that's like, hey man, I'm sick of you. Leave now. I want to be the friend that's like, yeah man, you want to keep talking? Let's keep talking forever. But I just don't have the mental capacity for that.
01:04:26
Speaker
You know what you should do is you i they probably have these somewhere, but like a little pin that shows your emotional battery or your social battery, and then you just move it down to like the red zone throughout the day and then point to it when like you're just, you can't do it anymore. And they say, guys, look, I'm really sorry. And then you just point to your battery. And I think most people, because just statistically, most people are more, you know,
01:04:51
Speaker
like prone to being introverted or more kind of like, you know, relieved that socializing is over. So like the moment you like, you, you tap that button, they're like, Oh, thank God. Okay. Gotcha. Cool. And then, you know, if that 10 doesn't exist, it has to, there's no way someone hasn't thought of that. But if it doesn't, we need to make it. Yeah. You know, I still want to do the puzzle pen and somebody wants to do it, you know, we just $10,000. Um,
01:05:19
Speaker
You know, but ah but yeah, I think that that would be a great way to do it or just like pull out like a You know, maybe tell your friends at the top of the day, look, we all know that we're mostly introverts. We all know we get tired as the day goes on and we just talk nervously because we're afraid to end the night. So let's all agree that as we get closer to the end of the day, we're going to put up a sign that says, I want to go home or I'm tired or let's call it. And then we do that sign or you know what? I have a hot air balloon, a 50 year or 30 year hot air balloon anniversary pin that I got from the balloon festival.
01:05:52
Speaker
I'm going to put it on my shirt when I'm ready for you guys to go home. And then when you recognize it, just point at your nose and say, I've got you, fam, and leave. and We'll make our goodbyes and meet you at the door. See, the problem is I do have friends that are more like you and the fact that Um, they're introverts, but once you get them going, they can go on forever. Sure. that one gratitude Yeah. One friend in particular is the one that's like, Hey, I just need to stop by for 20 minutes and then it'll be four hours. It's not squeeps. Is it Falcon? It is not Falcon either. Who's the other one I met? You, I doubt you've met this one.
01:06:33
Speaker
Okay. I've tried to get him on TOQ a few times. Hopefully I can. Listen here, you fucking friend. Listen, wiper of asses, ah potential Ambervert. Get your ass on this show. Sorry, Danny. Go ahead. No, it's all good. It's so hard when it's him because I'm sitting there like, all right, I'm trying to to think of a way to lightly tell him, like, you know, it's getting late. I need to I want him to leave. And he is just so enthusiastically telling me about his next project. And I know this sounds like you, but I promise I'm not talking about you. ah Or like a video game he's just started playing or something like that. And he'll go on for hours. And I love it. It's great. And we have these great conversations. But my God, it lasts forever. And I'm just like, my social battery's drained like five hours ago.
01:07:29
Speaker
yeah Then just tell him that I need to be, let me tell you, at least from my perspective, I like to be told, like, because again, I am so easily wrapped up in the moment and the joy of just like having a good time with my buddies that it's easy for me to, you know, I'm getting better about it, but it's easy for me to overlook the time. So like, but I do, I do recognize the room if everybody's starting to power down and I can kind of sense like, okay,
01:07:56
Speaker
Everybody's like powering down, but I'm still powered up. you know Maybe I'm the problem, so I'll announce it. but i do you know My friend Jess used to be real straightforward. She was like, look, man, you exhaust me in all the right ways, but like I get tired.
01:08:11
Speaker
and she's like so like you know and so i I told her, i was like just tell me when you want to kick me out, you know and then I'll graciously leave. I promise I won't be hurt. I would rather know that you're done instead of find out later that I've been torturing you for another hour.
01:08:26
Speaker
when you would love nothing more than a bubble bath in bedtime. And honestly, you've helped me with that already with um doing like the Elden Ring playthrough and stuff when you said like, just tell me if you need a break. And I did. And you were like, man, man, no problem.
01:08:43
Speaker
I have that problem where in the moment when I don't want to do something, my brain is like quickly come up with an excuse. Oh, I'm busy. I'm tired or whatever. You were the first person I ever actually just said like, man, I just don't feel like, you know, like interacting with people today.
01:08:59
Speaker
So or I'm getting better at it. And thank you for that because you did help. Sure. And that's part of my growth, too, is just trying to be like, OK, you know, if you give people permission, it's less awkward to, you know, you get to put it out in front so people don't.
01:09:15
Speaker
They're not awkward about it. So, you know, same thing with your other friend. Just like I was being serious. Draw guidelines at the beginning. Like, look, I know you're swinging over. We're probably going to talk for a little bit. and I'm excited to see you. Or when they get there, that way they don't think you're trying to tell them not to come over. When he get when he gets there, just say, hey, look, we're probably going to get to talking as we do. But just so you know, like I'm kind of a little tired today. So like I might just put up like a big X and say, all right, you know, like I got to tap out.
01:09:39
Speaker
You know, like just what you know, I don't want to hurt your feelings. And I bet you dollars a donut. You're like, oh, thank fuck. That's a great idea. That way I never know when I never know what I'm supposed to leave. Yeah, I'll tell them the same thing. Like, give me a big X if you're done and we'll just go.
01:09:51
Speaker
Cause yeah, a lot of people think like they need to keep talking because the other person's talking, you know, and like they're inadvertently button holding each other, not meaning to, you know, like you nervously keep talking because you think you have to. Um, you know, so it's like a social construct that people don't know how to get out of because people are, so you know, I'm not going to get into it. Nevermind. I'm just saying it's worth practice. You'll be a God among men, Danny. You get good at it.
01:10:20
Speaker
So anyway, I tell you that people know just say, Hey, you know what? I've had a really good time, but I think I want to turn in for the night. Thanks for coming over more than more than an often and not more often than not not more than off. Yeah, more than often than not. Yes, I'm going to say that more than often than the right more than often like.
01:10:38
Speaker
People be like, oh, thank God, you know, I was starting to like, you know, get a little tired. And honestly, I was about to do some scruffy less shit just to get out of being here. You know, I was going to go like wipe my ass on your on your wallpaper or, you know, flush your glasses down the toilet just to like, you know, make you kick me out. um You know, so there we go. Any other thoughts on that, Danny? No, it's it's a good like it's a normal worry.
01:11:07
Speaker
to have. I know the original question was lost in the sauce, but it was how do you let people know you wanted to leave? It is. like It's a good question to have. And the best way to do it is just be straightforward. Say, look, I'm tired. I got a finite social battery. You know, when I give the signal, I'm tapping out. It's nothing against you. It's just, yeah, I know that that's the right thing to do, but it's so hard. I know.
01:11:32
Speaker
It takes practice. You can practice on me anytime, buddy. I promise once you do it a few times, it's just, you know, or just make it sweet, short and sweet. All right. I'm going to bed. You guys can see yourselves out. yeah Or if you need to get out of a social situation and you're the one that could be leaving, like literally how I leave now. So there's like there's less drawn out to say I'm going home.
01:11:54
Speaker
And then I go put my shoes on. And then if somebody wants to come say bye to me at the door, they will. Oh, thanks for coming over. I love you. Have a safe trip home. Uncle Adam, whatever it is that the kids or friends I'm with when I say bye, then that's when they'll do it. When I'm with Justin, especially Justin's the easiest one. Like once things get a little awkward, I'm like, all right, I'm leaving. All right. Peace. And then I leave. You know, that's it. You know how bad it gets is um because but my friends call me the extroverted introvert.
Ending Social Interactions Gracefully
01:12:20
Speaker
And they're they're exactly right, because I'm able to hold a conversation. I'm able to talk to people. But deep down, I am just an introvert that has tried very hard to ah work on a lot of the things that make an extrovert an extrovert right in order to just better adapt around other people.
01:12:41
Speaker
um But I do still have like all of those introverted issues, right and one of them is, I bet you this is going to sound so stupid to you. But when I have friends leave, I always wait for them to take a like a couple steps away before I lock the door, and I always lock it as quietly as I can because I don't want to hear them lock. You don't want them to hear you lock the door? I don't want them to hear me lock the door and and have them think like, wow, he's locking it like as soon as I leave.
01:13:10
Speaker
I know, it's so stupid, but it's true. And I bet you all of our introverted listeners are like, yeah. I can tell you as someone who has usually a child locking the door right behind me as I leave from my sister's house, it makes me feel safer knowing, number one, that the door is locked. You didn't forget to lock it. And number two, that like is the final nail that says it's over. We're going home when I hear that door lock. We could awesome going home. Yes, that i maybe that's it. It's like an extension of me feeling like an asshole for kicking them out and saying, well, I'm done.
01:13:50
Speaker
And then just locking the door right behind them makes it sound that final. And I'm like, God, I feel like an asshole. Think of it as a confirmation that you're freeing them. Like it's an ironic thing. The locking of the door is what frees them. The lock locking frees them and frees you. Isn't that beautiful to think of it that way? Even though I'm a social guy, I love knowing that that is how people feel. OK, this is over, you know,
01:14:20
Speaker
I can move on to the next part of my day or my evening, you know? So like yeah just you just got to reframe the way that you think about it, man. That's a good that's a good way to look at it.
01:14:33
Speaker
um You know, it's not about you making them feel bad. It's about you assuring them that they can finally power down and go take a bubble bath or whatever it is that people do when they go home after socializing.
Closing Remarks and Audience Appreciation
01:14:45
Speaker
I just assume that non-social people go home and just scrub themselves, you know, head to toe before they do anything. I just assume that's what they do. I just collapsed in a heap, to be honest. A heap, aka the bubble bath. Yeah. Well, it's on the couch.
01:15:01
Speaker
Mel, you have a bubble bath in your couch. Yes, you don't. No, I'm poor. like fuck I'm not a homeowner like you. I just realized I live with two homos and one of the the homos is a homeowner. So is he a homo homeowner? yeah Home owner. He is a homeowner, homeowner.
01:15:26
Speaker
No, I'm a homeowner. I'm just kidding. No. ah I say I make myself laugh. I'm my biggest fan. I don't think care. everybody Oh, man. Anyway, Danny, let's say bye to everybody. It's an hour fifteen. What do you say? You know what? It's been a great time, but my social battery is like dry you're running kind of dry. at this Hang on. Does my knee slap pick up on on the mic? Can you hear that? Oh, yeah. Was that too loud? No, no, it was good.
01:15:55
Speaker
All right, that's my knee slap for like, well, time to wrap it up. Well, it's been fun, the audience, but, you know, it's just it's getting kind of late and I have work tomorrow, even though it's a Friday night. Don't ask. I know. Don't make it. Do it again. do Practice it better. Don't make excuses. Just tell him you're done. All right. All right. Tell him you're done. All right. All right. I'm done. They go. Well, time to go. We're done. Thanks for coming.
01:16:21
Speaker
ah Now, do you want to say your final words? You just want to. I love you all. Thank you so much. I really appreciate you all. OK, bye bye. OK, same thing. Take care of your mind, your heart and each other. And ah yeah, so see yourself out. Just ah if you just press that little lock button as you leave, it'll lock the door behind you. And then, you know, I won't have to worry about it. um But don't worry if you don't. It'll auto lock in like an hour. Anyway, good night, guys. Have a safe ride home. Good night.