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BONUS: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning
70 Plays3 months ago
Our second bonus Friday the 13th episode was chosen at random by our good friend Vern, and we are discussing one of the weaker entries in the series, Part V! Also known by fans of the franchise as Roy: The Movie. This one is a direct follow-up to Part IV: The Final Chapter in which Jason is defeated by an adolescent Corey Feldman. This one kicks off with Feldman's character, Tommy Jarvis, all grown up and still traumatized by his previous experiences and being shipped off to a group home in the wilderness with a bunch of sociopaths and more than one murderer. We get some cool kills (along with some severely neutered ones), some great boobs and the star of Juwanna Mann dressed up like Michael Jackson and eating enchiladas off the floor of a van. It's a hoot!
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Transcript
Introduction and Movie Setup
00:00:00
Speaker
We ain't going to stand for no weirdness out here. Welcome for this very special Friday the 13th presentation of Bad Movies, Worst People. We're talking about Friday the 13th, part five, A New Beginning. How many fucking titles you need? More. I'm Derek. I'm Whitney. I'm Jack. This is Bad Movies, Worst People.
Plot Changes and Selection Process
00:01:06
Speaker
so in this one they're saying that with a T kitata instead of an M because usually it's it's supposed to be like kill mommy kill. Yeah, this was supposed to be and it kind of is but isn't Tommy being the killer. Yeah, the whole time. But it's not. But they change that because people didn't like it. But then they still end with that. But then they forget about it. The endings of this movie. And I say that plural. Yeah. You think you are the return of the king with a hockey mask. saying.
00:01:36
Speaker
Well, we've done two. This is our second one so far. Randomly selected. Last time was by a weird number system. This was by Vern. This is by Vern. We have done now both of the ones that have nothing to do with the rest of the franchise and barely anything to do with Jason. Which makes sense why I'm so fucking confused. Yes. And remember, I have not seen any of these movies. I think I saw the first one. Well, now I've seen three of them. Right. Now I've seen... You'll get to them all. By 2029, we will have watched them all. Oh, man.
00:02:05
Speaker
That's okay. We can sit down and watch him before that. I don't want to make you wait. Pardon me, Hobbs. I'm not here. Like dead or? Yeah. Are we going to draw a number tonight for the next one? I figure we just do the grab bag thing again. Do you want to do it tonight? Yeah, let's do it tonight. Because the next one's in December. Yeah, fuck it. That's coming up close. Yeah. After that, I want to build a spinny wheel. Oh, I told you I have one at work. Dry ray spinny wheel. And I can go,
00:02:33
Speaker
That's all I want, live fuse a little. But I just want the ASMR and the BRCA, KAKA, KAKA, KAKA. But this one is maybe I want to hit you. No, I don't want to hit your weed. Oh, you don't want to hit this. You don't want no part of this, do we, Cox? This one is kind of the direct sequel to four, which makes sense because it's five. But oh, oh they aren't that good. They aren't treated as sequels most of the time. They're just kind of like, I don't know. So catch me up a bit as somebody that knows next to nothing about this. It's been ages since I saw four. I want to say four is your pretty standard Friday 13 fair.
00:03:04
Speaker
Family vacation interrupted by a mass murderer who's come back from the dead. Is he otherworldly? I don't think they've said anything about that yet. He's just a big fucking glute. He just dies and comes back. Oh, OK. I mean, that's still otherworldly. And I can't remember why he how he comes back in six from this one, because they say in this one, he's been cremated. He doesn't exist anymore. But has he been cremated? Did you see the body? Were you there? Yeah, that's fair.
00:03:32
Speaker
So my question is, why is it called Friday the 13th? Because it's spoopy, probably. um I don't know. The first one probably was happening on Friday the 13th. Did they release them on a Friday of the 13th? Some of them have been for was for sure. I think it's just that's an unlucky day by at most standards. I want to say the first one was probably took place like Friday the 13th weekend or something. I don't remember. I just watched it like earlier this year, but I can't. I couldn't tell you. Oh, yeah. You watch it with our daughter, didn't
Franchise Backstory and Budget Insights
00:04:00
Speaker
you? Yeah, I'm not there for lore. I'm there for slashy slashy murder. Oh, see, I'm done it for the titties. I'm a lore guy and the titties.
00:04:07
Speaker
Let's not not be there for the two you can't be there for the lore with any 80s franchise of horror movies because each time they were just like Well, let's see. Let's try something different Let's do it again Now he's got a scooter like how he's underground in tunnels how Michael Myers started out as Michael Myers and then In the next one, I think it was the second one where they decided that he was Jamie Lee Curtis' brother, but he wasn't. They didn't say anything about that in the first one. That's another franchise I know dick about. How about you over here?
00:04:39
Speaker
Not really. I've seen a handful. And the third one has nothing to do with Michael Myers and it's awesome. It's got little spooky Halloween masks. Let me ask you the real questions, though. Did Michael Myers ever go to space? No. Oh, that's a shame for everybody. But he does end up becoming at some point one of them, their movies, they start calling him the shape because it's kind of like Jason and these movies where eventually he's just a demon worm that goes inside people's heads or something. Question mark. The shape is like a creature that exists outside of Whatever. See, this is what happens when you try and give slashy titty movies lore. Exactly. I was I was ah Freddie ah nightmare on on the street. Oh, yeah. Team Freddie for sure, because he's fucking sarcastic and loud and it reminds me of me and I am. Bitch. But this one came out in the year of our Lord 1985.
00:05:31
Speaker
The year I was born, the same year I came out. Was it the same month? No, I want to say this came out in like not Halloween season, which is a bold choice now. I mean, every one of these movies or ah Nightmare or any other ones, that's a Halloween movie for sure. Yeah. March 22nd. Wow. Wow.
00:05:52
Speaker
Kind of missed out there, I think. The dumping grounds. Wow. I mean, what's the budget of this movie? I'm going to guess seven million, eight million. So high. It's a great Easter movie. Oh, wow. 2.2 million. Whoa, that is fucking nothing. It's an Easter movie because he's risen. He is risen. He is risen and he's here to fucking kill you. Yeah, this one cost 2.2 million and made 21.9 million. Oh. So that's pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good.
00:06:19
Speaker
So we, uh, do you want to name who's in it or just, I mean, they're all nobodies. I want to do the elephant in the room talking about how this one better than the last one we watched, especially with blood still kind of neutered. Yeah. And I did, I read some stuff again. MPAA got involved, did some chicanery. I don't know if that's the right word, but I like it.
00:06:39
Speaker
Charcuterie, dude. They did some charcuterie. They fucked everything around. But apparently, the director, who's a guy named Danny Steinman, who directed three other movies, only they only two of them under his actual name. The first one of them, German Scheisse films? The first one was called High Rise. It was a porno movie. That's German Scheisse films. And he directed it as Danny Stone. You poop from the top of the ladder down on... Anyway, what were you saying? And then he did another one called The Unseen that he directed as Peter Folig. That's not even the Danny. Okay. And then he did one called Savage Streets. And then this. And he was supposed to apparently do five more of these. Actually, I read he got into a really bad bicycle accident and then had a long time of recovery and then never came back. Because two and a half million to twenty nine is a pretty good turn. Yeah. Yeah. Take some take a couple of mil for advertisement. If you had any. He he did a thing as far as the MPA thing, goes cocaine, suppose it. Well, from what I read, yes. People were like, well, I saw this movie is sponsored by cocaine. It is. People who talked about the movie later were like, do you think I was so coked out and just yelling at everybody all the time. But it shows he has a sex scene in the movie that we get about 10 seconds of. Apparently, it was like three or more minutes long. Yeah. And it was a little more gratuitous.
00:07:55
Speaker
And I got cut, of course, but supposedly he says or somebody said, I read this, that he included the longer sex scene. So that way, when they took it to the MPAA, when they were like, you got to cut something, he'd cut out the sex scene and you could leave the violence. Oh, man with a plan. ah Whoever I think it was Paramount had these whoever had these then.
00:08:17
Speaker
Cut out the sex scene before they submitted it to the MPa. Oh rude So then we got a bunch of the kills cut out too we did and so unlike the other one We do at least see the aftermath of the kills We don't necessarily see the hedge clippers going into the eyes No, but we do get to see an eyeless body, but we have to see an axe go right into a bald cocaine head We do yeah that's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah, so I mean this was a lot better, but just it's just it's noticeable and the the tree no evil and Trino Evil for sure. That was fun. But I feel like there was more. Yeah. like got think I feel like we're supposed to see popping and ya you know. So it starts with Corey Feldman ah from the previous movie, hes who was sort supposed to continue being in this movie. Well, actually, it starts looking like Jurassic Park. It does. You see the feet of a person in a yellow red tree with a fucking shaving cream can. Exactly. I'm waiting for Dilophosaurus to come out.
00:09:11
Speaker
He didn't say the magic word, but he's only in this opening scene. ah na ah He's only in this opening scene because he was busy filming the goodies. Yeah. And good call on his part, or his agent, or whoever. Yeah, it's a wise call. but I mean, what was he what was he going to do in this movie still? i It was going to be a continuation, but I think it was gonna be it wasn't going to be like so far. They added the time jump.
00:09:40
Speaker
of because I'm playing Tommy because Corey Feldman couldn't do it. So they're like, OK, well, we'll just get an adult to do it and say it's been. What do we say? What do we say is James Spader and Jonathan Brandis and it's James.
00:09:53
Speaker
Uh, it was Jameth and Spandus. Oh,
00:10:01
Speaker
oh I did just see another note about the, the MPa stuff. It had to go back nine times before they got down to R from X wo cause X used to just be. And well, anything that was not our so you they didn't have NC 17. Can you find the X version of this or is that just never been? No, it's it's kind of like the the wu cut, the one we watched last time, part seven, where like the good version just doesn't exist.
00:10:27
Speaker
That's a bummer. and At the time, no one cared. And like that footage might be somewhere, but with the way these studios are cranking this kind of stuff out, they're just like, you throw all that shit away, we got another movie coming in to edit. It was on the floor and they swept it up. They're like, there's not going to be any nerds talking about this in a podcast in X amount of years. No one's going to see the gory cut. You just saw, this is what you get.
00:10:48
Speaker
But I did read that Danny Seinman was instructed by the producers to to deliver a shock, scare or kill every seven to eight minutes. Oh, Steinman here. I can give you that. And more importantly, he was supposed to turn Tommy into Jason, but then they decided to go back on that. But then I still did it. I'm a rascal.
00:11:08
Speaker
But I guess people like interior interpret the end of this maybe it's from six because again I don't think I've ever actually seen six But that this is this is treated as like a dream This okay because this almost made me want to watch the next one But then you also say like it doesn't matter none of them none of them continue this is yeah in my mind I'm like okay, so he's Jason now. Yeah, like that's and that's kind of cool. That's a thing That is a thing that would make a lot of sense. Yeah, but I But no, they don't make director. This is like fucking Ryan Johnson and Star Wars. star I was just going to say that quick. I know. I was just going to say when he's like, no, you're nobody.
00:11:44
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Well, because the next if it had done well and been well received by fans, which I guess it wasn't, it would have been another like direct sequel. You would have had this ah John Shepard playing Tommy. You would have had Pam, whatever. Robert's Melanie Kinnaman playing Pam. So they would have been back. He could be making up names right now, but I wouldn't know. But Tommy would have been Jason moving forward, but people didn't like it.
00:12:11
Speaker
Oh, hi, you're my favorite serial killer. And you know what? cheap chief I think he kind of got in on the cheap, cheap, cheap. Ah,
Cast and Character Dynamics
00:12:26
Speaker
dude, that's terrifying. Yes. Stocks by Tommy Wiseau and Dennis Nedry. Oh, hey, Dino. You're my favorite dinosaur. Bye. Just gets eaten.
00:12:36
Speaker
um Oh, and it is funny. So a lot of these movies got cast back in the day and like shot under a fake name. Right. So people didn't know what the movie was going to be or whatever. So this one was called Repetition, which is I'm sure a joke by somebody. Absolutely. um Oh, we're doing that again. But a lot of the code name Repetition. A lot of the actors didn't even know that it was Friday the 13th, part five, until they showed up on set and saw a guy in a Jason costume.
00:13:04
Speaker
Gotcha. They literally weren't even told. They were just like, it's called repetition. All right. We're showing up on Project Dead Horse. So everyone, to your places now. like That and was probably one of the like latter films. Yeah. Number, what did you say? Nine. Thirteen. There's 13 of these? No, there's only 11. 12 if you count the remake. We do.
00:13:27
Speaker
Really? Are we going to watch it? Maybe. Do you own it? I mean, we will watch it eventually. I don't know if it'll even be a Friday the 13th special. I don't know if it deserves it. Oh, OK. Saying something. These movies do. Kind of. All right, let's dive in with. They're spooky. They're not. Not once was I spooked. Hey, but you know what? 19 people died in this movie. That's a good count. That is a good count. And ah three sets of tits are, yes yeah, three. Well, two and a half. Because one is a soaking wet white t-shirt.
00:13:55
Speaker
So three and and a half. Who's the third? Because there was we you know with the big Lana, Lana, there was Lana and then there was Robin Robin. Yeah, the the girl with the with the terrible. Oh, that's right. That's right. Shipmullet. Yeah. Oh, rats nest herself and I ain't talk on pubes. But this was the highest body count all the way up until they released Jason Goes to Hell, which is number nine. The last one that kind of nine. Number nine. That had twenty seven kills.
00:14:23
Speaker
That's a lot more. Yeah, that is a lot more. It's not as many as Rambo. No, it's not as many as fucking New Hope. That Death Star was fucking packed. Yeah, so we have Corey Feldman going to Jurassic Park and he sees Jason Voorhees grave. Well, he's looking like Georgie also. Yeah, he's got the yellow raincoat and a little he doesn't have the hat, though. Oh, because his glasses are getting all wet. We all get molested down here, Georgie. Oh, not happy about that. Look at these two fucking rednecks just digging this thing up, dude. Come on, dig faster. I wanna see the man. I wanna seize him. And not knowing it's a dream, me and your wife, like, you buried him with his hockey mask and his machete. And his machete. And a headstone. And an ice pick.
00:15:09
Speaker
and a headstone, which is just a board. But still, yeah, why didn't you fucking scorch earth this dude? And by buried, we mean you dug a hole deep enough for the coffin to fit in and then piled the dirt on top of it. Inch of dirt on top of this. An inch.
00:15:24
Speaker
I think this is the tombstone that we see in number seven at the beginning when they do like the flashback slash previously on. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because there's a tombstone there made out of wood, but it gets to the second time. Maybe that's at the beginning of six. I don't know. dude This is the second time I've seen a Friday 13th with Corey Feldman.
00:15:42
Speaker
And we haven't. Because he's in that flashback. Oh, he is in that flashback. He's in that flashback. He hasn't had a line in any of them, by the way. Speaking line, cocaine line, for sure. No. He had stutters in this. you are He didn't say anything. Oh, did he? He went a lot. Yeah, that's just hyperventilating. Yeah, but he gave it his all. He's probably one of the best actors in this.
00:16:05
Speaker
He was terrified. But he does murder these two rednecks with a machete and an ice pick. Because you got to marry him. You got to marry him. Don't marry Jason. You got to bury him with weapons. Yeah, makes it cool. It's just a fucking bored dickhead like, hey, wait, just put something really cool in there like a hatchet or a chainsaw. When he gets awake, when he gets resurrected, it's going to be awesome. I'm not going to be here. I'm going to be dead. I'm moving to Colorado.
00:16:30
Speaker
I'm going to read in the newspaper my Florida porch. ah Look at these idiots getting killed by Jason with a chainsaw. I gave it to him. That's what you get for living in the woods of New Jersey. It's his it's his comfort chainsaw from Rock of the Aliens. Yeah, Voyage of the Rock Alien. It's my service ah chainsaw. What is Jason's like?
00:16:52
Speaker
What's his proximity? like Because he wants to chase you down and kill you, right? yeah What if you hopped on a plane, went to England? Is he just going to step on that fucking ocean floor? Aside from Jason X and Freddie versus Jason, I don't think he's ever outside of the woods of New Jersey. This one doesn't specify, okay but I would assume it's still that area because these people all know about Jason. If I just went north and headed to Canada, I'm fine. I think so.
00:17:18
Speaker
um I'm always, Steve. I mean, he does go to New York kind of in number eight, but he starts in New Jersey. All right. And then takes a boat to New York, which is impossible. and Not if you're jason from where he is, at least. Not if you're Jason. He's got tunnels, son. But it's Corey Feldman is the dream. He wakes up and now it's a much weirder looking man who's also playing Tommy named John Shepherd. Looked him up on I and BB. Couldn't be bothered to care. No, he has he has roles such as young man, a sailor a fan. You know, i these he was in he was in down Periscope.
00:17:53
Speaker
I actually, as young sailor, I didn't find him that bad, especially like when he's doing his really crazy faces and freak outs. I found him fine. i mean you can he did the the acting very well. Yeah. Because there was no line deliverance. There was a lot of just facial expressions. Yeah. And it was, I found it fun. Yeah. Also, pretty decent little stage fighter. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the two, three times we see him box people up. He looks good doing it. He did. Like he put it in work as an actor.
00:18:26
Speaker
As far as his acting crazy, apparently he was spent like three months working at like a mental institution to do like research. OK. He's also one of the actors who did not know that this was a Friday the 13th movie. So he spent this time doing his research and doing all this stuff. He knew he was like a mental patient person. So he did that. And then he got on set and was like, Oh, that's going to take some wind out of your sails. Yeah, that's got to take a little fucking fluff. Wait, I did what for what? I'm not full of the cuckoo's nest. This is the fifth one? The fucking fifth one? Name one fifth one that's good. and I ain't talking Star Wars. So Feldman definitely. It's not the fifth one. A good fifth one. There's got to be one out there. There's got to be. I just can't think of one.
00:19:10
Speaker
It's not Indiana Jones. If you can think of it, get back to us. Yeah, not Indiana Jones or alien ah season five of scrubs. Yeah, I'll allow it. But yeah, but it's not the fifth one. But also, you find me a bad scrub season to the last one. That doesn't count. I was waiting for it. That's not it doesn't count. It stops at eight. My finale number two.
00:19:31
Speaker
And no, thank you, Hulu. Think you know. But so he's going to the Pine Pinehurst, which is some sort of institution in the woods. I guess they're like, we're going to take mental like patients who need mental assistance, who are not that dangerous except Tommy and Vic. And we're going to stick them in the woods with a bunch of sharp implements. And the also the neighbors might also benefit from being here. They're insane. She keeps talking about chopping people up. Yes, she does. Yeah. But i umma what their premise is is actually a good idea. You're here. Can I play devil's advocate? One of these dudes chops another dude with an axe. I understand that. But this is like the next step. It's like a halfway home. It's the next step before being introduced into public again. I do want to get to that because they tell Tommy this is like there's no rules. Just right. You know, this is your segue into real society. Yeah.
00:20:24
Speaker
He is not ready. No, he's not. He should not fucking speak. He cannot look people in the eyes. If you turn it's just autistic. He's beyond that. He's autistic that watch people get murked. Well, and that was my point. We were watching it, right? I'm like, this guy watched a bunch of people get murdered in the woods. So the final step of his rehab is stick him in the woods. Yeah. Because he's fierce, bitch.
00:20:46
Speaker
Bad idea. What a terrible therapist you make. No. Face your fears, bitch. That'll be $100 for this guy. You're terrified of skydiving? Let's go. There's some work to be done before that. He had 15 years of work. If you threw me in the middle of an ocean, I would die of a heart attack. Are you terrified of the ocean? Oh, yeah. That and commitment.
00:21:06
Speaker
I think he was only like five or six years since the last movie. He was like 11 and now he's 20. And now he's like supposed to probably supposed to be like 18. Yeah, probably supposed to be, but not. He's in the 80s. He's a fucking Power Ranger. Yeah, it's the 80s. So he's 18. He looks 40. That's not your problem on his. It's a hard 40. So this guy, Matt, runs the place played by a guy named Richard Young, who I saw was in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but he was credited as Fedora. Now, I don't know if that's a character's name or if it's just like, well, he wore a fedora. I tried to Google a picture of that specific character. Couldn't be found. Yeah. Well, let's watch it then. And then also Pam, who's played by Melanie Kinnaman, who I mentioned, whose boobs we do see and whose acting we wish we didn't.
00:21:54
Speaker
Yep, yep. She's the ah Morgan Fairchild, Laura Dern kind of Christian Bell, Christian Bell kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. The worst. This is saying something. The worst actor in this movie. She's just talking over people all the time. like Shut the fuck up. She doesn't even give him a chance to say anything. She has one delivery. Yell over you yeah like you're saying. What is it? What is it? What's wrong? Shut the fuck up. I'm asking you a question. What is it? Don't you answer me when I'm talking to you. tell me i'm talking to you talking like What do you say? And then we meet maybe the best actor in this movie, Shavar Ross.
00:22:29
Speaker
Oh, he was playing Reggie the Reckless. I'm really glad you threw the reckless on there. I was like, Keith David had a kid. Yeah. Like even you were like, it kind of looks like a very young makai, makai fiber. The kid has acting chops for sure. Yes, he did. Did he ever do anything awesome?
00:22:46
Speaker
Um, I mean, I didn't know anything awesome, but this movie was in 40 some odd episodes of different strokes. He was in like 13 episodes of Family Matters. OK. And he made some money. One episode of Beauty and the Beast. Oh, don't change your dial on that one. I mean, it might be a Patreon thing. Yeah, do we're going to talk about that show eventually because all these actors have been. Yeah, it's very connected. Reggie is trying to scare Tommy. He's got this rubber spider in the closet scares Tommy. What are you scared? What are you scared of spiders? What are you scared of spiders on strings? You're scared of everything. Pussy. closer Tommy scares him with this Halloween mask he has. That's pretty fucking creepy. Yeah? It almost looks like a bith from Star Wars who you would know as the players in the jizz band. Oh yeah.
00:23:33
Speaker
but and bla Wow. We got to talk about it or are they going to come after us? We can't just do this song. We have to now discuss that song. I did some of the notes wrong, I'm sure. Somebody will correct me. Yeah,
00:23:51
Speaker
ah yeah she can't do the Star Wars klaxon when we start talking about Star Wars. That's just going to get us going again. ah Move it on. ma But he's got these masks and it seems like it's going to be important, but it isn't. I guess i it does come back. So he's like, well, it comes back a little bit, but I think it maybe it would have been tied to Tommy becoming Jason. Yeah, that had fleshed out. OK, but I was thinking it would be. You have something to say? Yeah, but it's the next line.
00:24:19
Speaker
I was thinking it was going to be a therapeutic thing. Like I make these masks because I was scared of masks, you know, something like that. yeah Yeah. Cause he's makes, he says he makes these masks and they're fucking creepy. Cause the kid's like wanting to, he wants to go see it and he reaches for it and he's like, no, don't touch these. You look at your eyes, not your hands.
00:24:35
Speaker
And then Reggie's response is, God, it's like you made them or something. ah du I did. And that is Reggie's like, this is my new best friend. And now we've just about dropped the masks. It's going to come back one more time for a second. um So we get interrupted this whole thing by Sheriff Tucker, who's played by a guy named Marco St. John, who we just saw and you guys just heard us talk about days ago.
00:24:59
Speaker
Just days ago. Happy 100th episode. Yeah. He was there to help us celebrate. He was on hard target. He
Plot Twists and Killer Reveal
00:25:05
Speaker
was the doctor who got shot in the eye by Arnold Vaslu. Yeah, the coroner. Yeah. Might want to do something about that cough.
00:25:14
Speaker
But so he brought back these kids. It was Tina and Eddie who were off fucking on the neighbor's farm. Banging. and the neighbor's not happy about it. I didn't catch her name, Ethel, I think maybe. Sure. Just crotchety old fucking southern broad. Mostly we hear mama because her son, Junior, just yells, mama, constantly. This dude is disgusting. Top to bottom, disgusting. And we also see, we've seen him once before, but I want to mention this guy, Joey, because he's important to the story, apparently.
00:25:44
Speaker
played by a guy named Johnnica. Johnnica? No, no, not even close. Johnnica? Not even close. It's Joey played by Dominic Brasia. Whoa. Yeah, you're way off. I think my brain looked and saw the notes. You saw Joey, Dominic and Brasia and just put it all in. Johnnica. We love Johnnica. be Johnnica from now on. Happy, happy Johnnica. He was also like ah first pictured in the IMDB. Yeah, he's in the top. He's yeah he's like the third one pictured and he looks like an alt-right podcaster. And I would say rest in pictures. He did die in 2018. But he might have been part of...
00:26:28
Speaker
raping one of the Corey. He may have sexually abused Corey Haim. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So we might not want to say he says he's the one who accused Charlie Sheen of molesting Corey Haim on the set of Lucas. OK. But Corey Haim's mom is like, no, it's this Dominic dude that molested my child. I know this. So fuck him. I'm probably going to believe the mom over this fucking dude. Yeah. But yeah, still.
00:26:57
Speaker
I mean, Charlie Sheen is an asshole, but I don't... I don't know. Charlie Sheen is an asshole in this sentence. I don't think he was raping Corey's. Yeah. Maybe he was. I don't know the story. I just found that when I looked... I was looking at this guy up to see if he was an alt-right podcaster, because his picture is him in a ruffled, crumpled suit with a blue ta a blue tie that has white stars on it, and the background is just the red and white, the bars of the flag. It looks like he's doing a podcast called The Militia Minute.
00:27:26
Speaker
where he just go, we're going to get we got to get ourselves in arms. We got to all gather up together and we got to take care of these. He's a less attractive version of ah what's her name from the boys doing the truth bomb.
00:27:38
Speaker
Did you watch the new season yet? Not the newest. OK, there's an alt-right, of course, superhero-esque of sorts who has an Internet podcast YouTube show. Yeah. Where she just talks about how they're all pedophiles and whatever. Yeah. So Delon Musk? Yeah. Pedophile. All pedophiles. All pedophiles. He's kind of like Tommy Wiseau.
00:27:59
Speaker
OK, you're my favorite search engine. OK, bye. Hey, guys, after this episode, I really kind of want to go out and get a beer. What are you thinking? I mean, OK, look, the thing is, I deal with beer so much in my life, I want something else. i'm I'm fine with beer, but I want like a stiff cocktail or a nice glass of whiskey. You know, the music box is just down the way and you can get an awesome cocktail or they even have like tombstone and other great beers on tap.
00:28:25
Speaker
The music box, where would I find that? Oh, you mean the music box at 6951 East 22nd Street in yeah Tucson, Arizona. Right down there at 22nd and Cope. Yeah, they've got a great selection of whiskey, gin, tequila, mezcal, other spirits. Ooh, sometimes they have like putting shots and jello shots. You're putting me on. And depending on the night of the week, we can get karaoke, live music. It's great. Ooh, unhappy hour on, oh, it's Wednesday. It's unhappy hour.
00:28:50
Speaker
Yeah. I'm in. You guys are selling me. Let's go to the Music Box Lounge, right now. Let's go!
00:28:59
Speaker
Sharks of the Corn? Virus Shark? Cocaine Shark? Shark-topus? Yeah. Those are all real movies. Join me, Steve Coates, as each week I take a comedic look at the bizarre world of Shark-sploitation cinema on Bucket of Chump, the Shark Movie Podcast.
00:29:21
Speaker
But so this guy's basically a walking fat guy joke, right? Oh, yeah. He's walking around with chocolate running out of his mouth, a melted butterfinger bar in his hand. Multitudes of chocolate bars in his or on his person's, yes. Every pocket you could think of. Yes. It's less of a fat joke in Power Rangers when bulk has an entire pizza in his shirt than this guy's entire existence. Uh-huh. And he's got melted chocolate dripping down his face and in his hands.
00:29:45
Speaker
Your wife pointed out that he might be on the spectrum. I didn't catch it right away, but then he starts talking to these chicks. And again, chocolate on his hands. He's like, let me help with the laundry. I'm real good with the laundry. And they're like, no, no, just go away. And he finally picks up one of the clean blankets, chocolate everywhere. And then it's them yelling at him. He's like, well, fine. i don't I'll go do something else. Unless unless you want me to help. I will help.
00:30:07
Speaker
umll I'll be right back. ah I'm just trying to pick up these clean white sheets with my chocolate fingers. I don't understand the problem. I don't know why you're so mad at me. I offered you a chocolate bar. These sheets are just going to have chocolate stains on them when they once you put them back in my room, he offered why even clean them? I'll come back for the other half. He offered half. Yeah, because he had her later because she didn't get it. I'm fat. I need the other half later as he's got like Mr. Goodbar and fucking all this shit sticking out of his jacket.
00:30:35
Speaker
ah One of these girls is Violet. She's not turning violet. She's like the old punk girl kind of big fan of Bowie, I would say. Got that David Bowie eyeshadow kind of thing. She's got the bleached platinum hair with the black tips. She always has music, whether it's her headphones or in her room on that hi doing the robot.
00:30:56
Speaker
Doing she's she does she break dancing better than people from Australia in the Olympics? Yep. Just saying. The other girl is Robin, who again, I didn't get her name because I looked her up and she kind of looks like the redhead from Goonies. She looks like she's the. Oh, yeah. You know know what? You are spot fucking on. She looks just like the cheerleader Annie Annie from Goonies, but just the trailer park method version. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, a.k.a. Australia. And I have to mention it because I want to watch everybody's eyes roll. But Tina, who we saw earlier, who is played by Deborah Voorhees. I don't know if I mentioned that. Not on this. OK. Tina, whose boobs we see later woo is played by Deborah Voorhees. That's her real name, which is great. And she got cast for two reasons. Well, she said that people would say stuff to her. right I don't remember the exact thing, but I read like an interview with her and she was like, people come up and say like, you know, oh how's Jason or whatever? And she'd just be like, well, he's actually my husband. He's going to be here in a little while. Like, you know, so' she's a good sport. I love that. I hope she married somebody named Jesus. She was in. he She was in avenging Angel, which is the second of the Angel series.
00:32:11
Speaker
This is one about the fucking prostitute that has to like the heart of gold. Oh, God. Heart of gold in the fucking gun of steel. Avenging Angel is the worst one, but that's the one that also has... He's implying he's a good one. It's the one that also has the dude from Cloak and Dagger who lights himself on fire in real life. Oh, you got me back in. Willie Butts. I don't remember his name, but his name is Willie Butts as Avenging Angel. She plays Roxy, who surprises another prostitute. What a party trick.
00:32:39
Speaker
I don't want to know how I got these scars. I would hang out with him. Oh, I would, too. Just not close. Oh, we're going to go hang out with Willie Butz again. Bring the marshmallows. Is there a pool at the house we're going to? I'm going to need a pool. Jonica's got the chocolate.
00:32:59
Speaker
ah Joey continues bothering people. He goes to this guy, Vic, who is supposed to be cutting wood. Doing it all wrong. All wrong. He needs lessons from what was it? Chris Evans, cutting in wood and. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's ripping logs in half of his bare hands. You mean? Yeah. Yeah. He needs lessons from him because at least. OK, yes, Chris Evans is ripping him in half with his bare hands. Sure. But he's doing it the right way. He's going like you have to cut wood and you go to the part that's cut and that's where you cut this guy has a log on his on its side and he's chopping it like it's a tree that you're trying to fell. Yeah, I don't think he's actually trying to make firewood. I think he's just trying to get out his anger. I think so. And ah Joey interrupts before he can get out all of his anger. And I love it here, don't you? I fucking hate it here. Yeah. All I do is chop wood all day. And he does the same thing. He's like, well, fine. I didn't want to. I won't help you anyway. I'll just leave or whatever. And he turns around. Vic chops this dude in. Well, Joey says something else that just sets him off like, fuck you, you're not nice or some shit like that.
00:34:00
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's akin to what Derek's saying. Like, I'll go somewhere else where I wanted. I don't know. This guy was ready to be set off. He says something that doesn't warrant being chopped into pieces by an ex. Yes, that's for sure. But so he kills Joey. I'm allergic to nuts. You gave me a candy bar. Nuts in it. You try to fucking kill me. This guy's trying to kill me. Self-defense! Ah! This is our first real kill of the movie. We had the two at the beginning, but those were dreams. Psych. So although I'm sure those counted at that 19 I read.
00:34:29
Speaker
Oh, it might. Yeah. But because we do see people get stabbed. I mean, if we're talking about like film murder, not plot murder, film murder. He hacks this dude up and I was for a second, I was going to be like, oh, it's going to cut back to him standing there cutting wood. Like, I wish I would have cut. I was I was ready for it to be like, that's what I want to do to you. Cuts to Sheriff Tucker.
00:34:49
Speaker
And his band. Sheriff Tucker and his band. The Sheriff Marshall Tucker band. Oh, his deputy is somebody we know. Oh, the shit Tucker. He's in ah fucking Varsity Blues. As as Paul Walker's dad. He's also in, he's in a bunch of shit. Justified. But you noticed that you saw him recently in Speed as one of the FBI agents. Yeah. Real tall Southern jail moon. Yeah, he's in Speed. He shows up in Twister. I'm not sure who. I think he's ah ah one of Kerry always dudes. Uh-huh. Yeah, that sounds about right. Oh, we forgot to mention about the the people who dropped off um Tommy in the first place from the insane asylum. to Oh, yeah. The fucking the the mental health something. Yeah. The bald guy with the mustache he even looks at ah the Pam's a blonde chick. Yeah. Looks at her and gives like the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah. He also also twists his ear to do it, which is weird. Wind me up and I'll go all night. Yep.
00:35:44
Speaker
That's I used to mention, too, when Joey's talking to Vic before he gets hacked into pieces. He's like, I never had much to do at home being an orphan and all. Right. It's important. um the dump It's important. Maybe ever since I've been abandoned, I just don't like doing things. Orphan. Somebody you say orphan. Orphan. Why did you say orphan? So ambulance shows up to take away the body. The this little blonde paramedic is just laughing at a dead body and how everybody's a pussy. He's looking at a chopped up person.
00:36:11
Speaker
But the other paramedic, whose name is Roy, ah who's played by a guy named Dick Wyand. That was Dick Wien. Yeah, Dick Wien. He is important, too. Should we just tell everybody what's going on here? Yeah, let's spoil it. No, don't spoil it. I say you spoil it because you are you've probably watched this.
00:36:32
Speaker
OK, look, you have time right now. So you guys watched it. Was it a cool big surprise? No. OK. You have time right now to hit fucking pause on this podcast because we are going to spoil it for you. Yes. Three, two, fun. Wasn't ready for that. i Apologize. um Roy is the killer. What? Whoa. There's no Jason.
00:36:54
Speaker
OK, I watch a different movie. says Roy is mad at this camp or whatever it is, this home because Joey is secretly his son, question mark. Yes. Well, the the the fucking sheriff right now says.
00:37:10
Speaker
Well, the doctor the the sheriff asked the doctor, is there anyone to inform? He's like, as far as I know, no immediate family. Mom died during childbirth. God knows what happened to the father. Never been able to find him. He didn't want to take like claim of him, but he's mad that someone killed him. I think because he is special, he's he's on the spectrum. He's like, I can't raise that.
00:37:31
Speaker
Yeah, but I also don't want him to be murdered. But you can see it here, too. I mean, it it looks like he's just being a compassionate human being. But this is a 13. Yeah. movie So it looks like he sees the he sees Joey dead hacked up and he's like, oh, fuck, he looks surprised. But he covers up the body and he's like, tells the other paramedic, like, basically quit being an asshole. Like, let's just get this out of here. Yeah. Which I guess on the second one that they take away, he's more like, just say something. You need something.
00:37:58
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because in the next the next time we see Roy, the sheriff says, sounds like it looks like we have a psycho killer on the loose or something like that. And he's like, talking to me. What'd you call me? He's yeah, this is my handiwork. yeah Wait, what? You mean me?
00:38:14
Speaker
What? Nothing. Huh? Where are we? Like this most confused conversation. Are you Kurt? Are you Kurt Douglas? Kurt Russell in China? Big trouble. Yes, thank you. The whole time he just runs around being like, what? What's going on? Who is that? Where are a bunch of spirits from the huh? The who? Where am I?
00:38:34
Speaker
Yeah. What is going on? Yeah, it's a great. There's a great like video on on YouTube. It's like a super cut. It's just called. He didn't redesign. Did Kurt Russell read the script? Because it's just so many cuts from that movie of who just they're like, it's so and so. And he's like, who? What?
00:38:49
Speaker
I mean, it's true, because you got his buddy there just telling him all this fucking awesome Chinese fucking history and religion. He's like, who? We're doing what? We have to who? Raiden. Raiden. Boba Fett. Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. Kurt Russell was almost Han Solo.
00:39:06
Speaker
Oh, yeah. with hard it's it's really hard to not have been better It's really hard to not see Harrison Ford. It's also really hard for me to think Kurt Russell would have done a great job. I think Kurt Russell's career did fine. I don't know if Harrison Ford would have done as well without Star Wars.
00:39:24
Speaker
Like, he's great. Yes. But then we would have also had Kurt Russell as Indiana Jones, because that's the whole reason Hans. Oh, boy. There's some fours. Different podcast guys. With Indiana Jones. Aye, aye, aye, aye. We're not talking about Star Wars anymore. He's got me thinking about Kurt Russell on a fucking Indiana Jones hat and
Narrative Critique and Scene Analysis
00:39:40
Speaker
a whip. Kurt Russell with a whip. You can't tell me that he's excited. We're not talking about Star Wars anymore. We're talking about Indiana Jones. Yeah, we're talking about Indiana Jones, bro. Kurt Russell with a whip. OK.
00:39:50
Speaker
Also with the whip let me get let me get you back on may say that o okay so connery still is that We get introduced to some characters who are introduced to fill in that shock or kill every seven to eight minutes rule Yeah, it's two greaser dudes who are trying to fix their car on the side of the road This one guy with a hat can go sucking it. One guy's trying to fix it. The other one's trying to fucking, well, not trying. He's going to take his shit. And I guess it's to show you that they're assholes, so we're glad to see him die. But he's just like, you've got to get the car fixed. These cunts aren't going to wait forever. And I'm like, look, I love the word cunt as much as the next British guy. I love it. Yeah, but that what I'm talking about is someone I want to sleep with. We know what you're talking about, an actual woman. I want to talk about the person acting like a cunt. Yeah, it's a whole different thing. I don't think he's even talking about the woman. I think he's actually just talking about the vagina.
00:40:37
Speaker
Yeah, which is now the worst version of using that word. Yeah. um While his friend is trying to get the car fixed, he's like, dude, you fix that car. I'm going to go take a shit because I'm also not going to bring toilet paper. I'm on my way to fuck. We've been doing a lot of blow. It's catching up with me. yeah I got to go take it. I got the case in a green apple splatters. the Great thing is this guy goes in the woods to take a shit. first says He does a lot of money rabbit, which is funny. Talk about your twice big potato.
00:41:04
Speaker
But when he comes back to the car, he's just doesn't even. OK, so while he's taking a shit, his friend gets flared in the mouth, flared in the flare. Yes. And we see this. Which is great. Not enough, though. No, I love what we got because it's great. It's a dummy face with a flare in the mouth. But then it's a really quick cut. We probably recorded eyeballs. Yep. Fucking catching on fire. Oh, we probably had ears exploding. You know what I mean? Eyeballs. Well, John is fucking watching that. John Karl Buechler's didn't do this one, dude. No, but I bet you there was something more. Buechler. Sorry. Buechler. I'm going to be corrected by Serge. Yeah. Well, you know, it's good because we didn't know when he fucking told us. We didn't know. We didn't know at all. We didn't know at all. But when he comes back from taking a shit, he doesn't even notice his friend laying face down on the engine. He sees him there and he's like, oh, we got that car fixed, man. Let's see the car. We're going to start it. We're going to start. Doesn't sound like a starting. He's pulling a jack singing songs about the car starting. I'm going to kick you with your fucking ass. Fucking just fly. Well, because when he said I'm going to go take a shit, he squatted and did some lines and immediately shit afterwards. So that's they've got some horrible shit, right? Unless it's really fucking good.
00:42:19
Speaker
it's It's either really good or mostly baby lacks in it. There you go. A lot of both going to kick your fucking ass. This car won't start. Do you have any more coke so I can blow it up my fucking ass? And he goes, he's about to get out of the car because the car starts. He's about to get out. He gets grabbed from behind. Throat cut. Hmm.
00:42:38
Speaker
Dead. Happy to see him go. The other guy, whatever. This guy, yeah. The other guy was probably a prick, too. I mean, the company you keep. Yeah. I saw his hair. Yeah.
00:42:50
Speaker
But he didn't have that daddy hat. Oh, this fucking like biker slash sailor hat. Yeah, when she says daddy hat, she doesn't mean what we think of today as a dad hat. She means like leather daddy. Oh, no. Yeah. She said daddy. It's like Tobias Funke. Yes. like I want something that says daddy. Daddy's was it daddy's cool or cool daddy or something like that. You mean leather daddy? Yeah, that sounds cool. A disciplined daddy.
00:43:18
Speaker
Always quote him to me. You just call it a Rob Halford had to. Yeah. Oh, that'll do. she just freeze barbara ah So Tommy has a freak out in bed like full on freak out himself. He might have might have. He's flailing around the bed next to him. Whoo.
00:43:35
Speaker
You pissed the bed and it was in the next room. He does see he sees Jason outside and then like, no, this isn't that one. He's freaking out. here He's waiting to take his pills. Again, this guy's not ready for society. He's hearing people die. Yeah. All the fucking time. Dude, I know. Like you saw a bunch of people die, whatever. It's get over it. It's been a while. Get over it. Sure. You saw her get strangled with her own intestines. Get over it. And it's been a long time since I saw that movie, so.
00:44:04
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know how people died in that one. I'm sure it was gross. We'll get there. Well, it could be soon. It could not be. He sees Jason behind him in the mirror. He's not there. We keep seeing Jason throughout this movie, which is also supposed to be that like business is Jason in his head now. Yeah.
00:44:22
Speaker
They don't do a good job of it. But once you know what was supposed to happen, then you see what was supposed to be said. Once you know the whole thing, you can see what's going on. I mean, I kind of wish that you would have told me I'm glad you didn't at the end of the day, but I kind of wish you would have told me that that was a option for the script was that he was the murderer because I would have watched it differently. Yeah. But I'm glad you did. Well, and I it's I've seen this one before. I've read it. That's how I watched it. I felt like that was the direction. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I didn't remember how like ham handedly they handle. Maybe he's the killer. Maybe it's not really Jason. Like as you're watching the movie, you're just like, no, this is Jason. Like, yeah, you could take away that. Maybe, maybe. But like it's it's the whole time you're watching it and you're going. So it's just Jason. Something I didn't notice that husband pointed out. Jason has red markings.
00:45:11
Speaker
Well, yes, and then and Roy, much scarier, Roy, Roy has blue on his hockey mask. Yes, he does. And I just didn't even put it together until the the end scene. We're like, oh, now it's red. I'm like, oh, shit well, and then also every movie that Jason then it in this one, Roy does not have the slit in the blood stain on it. No, but he is wearing a fake tumor head. Yeah. Yeah. he's He's got like. Yeah. Because I was going to be like, so is his hair a wig the whole time? But no, he's wearing like a bald cap.
00:45:44
Speaker
Only somebody that has an intimate mask making knowledge, like Tommy, wasn't able to pull that off. Exactly. He doesn't have the red marks in every movie because we don't even get the mask until part three. Oh, really? I thought it was two. I know it's not one. Part two, he's running around with a bag on his head. Well, a burlap sack. Let's get there. Seriously. Like early Daredevil, where he just tied bandanas around his face. Or early Spider-Man, where he's just wearing a fucking beanie that he pulled down and cut holes in.
00:46:12
Speaker
I'm so jealous that hopefully you didn't do it in that order. I'm so jealous that when Derek and Zoe watched the first one together, she didn't know. I may have mentioned this the last time we did Friday the 13th. It's been a ah a year almost. So I don't remember. But I watched it. I watched it with. Yeah, I watched it with ah my at the time 16 year old daughter. And it was funny because she didn't know that the mom was the killer in the first one.
00:46:37
Speaker
But she does know who Jason is. So the whole time we're watching where the fuck is is that guy? Is that guy Jason? Is that guy Jason? Is that like, is his name Jason? Shut up. I was like, just watch. She's never had a really cool nickname like Jason. She did. She was a sport and she stayed and watched the whole thing and she did enjoy it. But she kept asking me shit. And I was like, just watch the movie and she's just going to do that. But.
00:47:01
Speaker
Just tell me. Eat your popcorn. This is one of those movies I have to pay attention to. Watching movies with my ex, Kendra, do we always crack me up? It's a movie we've never seen together and it it cuts like a guy digging the field. It's like, what's he doing? Who's that?
00:47:16
Speaker
Like, how would I? She's probably not even asking for answers. She's just like, oh, because I'll do that. I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Because she knows that I can a lot of times see a blueprint of a movie, but I'm like, this is three seconds in. That's a guy in a field digging. I have no other context clues. Why is he digging? I don't know. Chances are he's burying something. He's trying to get to China. Happy now? I made it up.
00:47:39
Speaker
I want to watch a movie about a guy trying to dig to China. Let's do it. He discovers like Eldritch Gods underneath the earth. He finds gold. That's how you get Godzilla's dude. He's mining gold out of his backyard. So he starts a church of meth people.
00:47:55
Speaker
i saw that one so they have like a little dinner thing um i just want to mention one thing violet is setting the tape the places at the table oh this is breakfast my friend i was yeah looking at them scramby eggs okay it so she sets one for joey does it make sense because of what the the old guy says She sets one for Joey and they all get upset about him one for the murderer. Yeah, and Vic Vic. Thank they all get upset about it and the old man who is ah Reggie the reckless his grandpa, which is why Reggie's here because we didn't mention he's a very young
00:48:28
Speaker
Yes. He's like 11 years old. Yeah. He's like these are all like every else. Late 20s. Early 20s. So they're 50 year olds. But it's supposed to be like late teens, early 20s. He's like 10 or 11. Yeah. This is grandpa. He's visiting here or whatever. But.
00:48:43
Speaker
The grandpa says, I don't think Victor or Joey will be joining us any ah joining us this morning and like or any other fucking day. Yeah, they're dead. You don't talk like that. Yeah, he's laughing. Nobody else is. Well, and then the the stut stu stutter. Jay, Jay, Jay, Jake, Jake, Jake.
00:49:05
Speaker
Jake from Stutter Farm. Jake from Stutter Farm. Hey, he gets super offended. He's like, yeah, Vi, you don't set tables for dead people. It's like, calm down. She didn't fucking mean to. She just went with routine. She's on autopilot because she doesn't care about this, them or any of you. Or any of you, unless your name is David Bowie. She don't give a fuck. Price and Prince, too.
00:49:26
Speaker
We hear her listening to some knockoff. Depeche mode. Yeah. Knockoff, Depeche mode or something later. what joy Joy Division. Joy Division. Joey Division. Like the candy bar? No, I was thinking like a division of the military where they just use ah child kangaroos.
00:49:45
Speaker
ah Child Kangaroo soldiers. I was thinking Joey from Friends. Skinny Puppy. Just a bunch of him. Oh, she would love Skinny Puppy. yeah Oh, yeah. She's definitely been to a ministry concert. She would listen to sneaker pimps. She would be my friend. She also looked like someone you knew.
00:50:00
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't think she listens, but I'm going to send my friend Chastina picture. It looks just fucking like her. And he comes in who was the asshole that was trying to bang Tina or that was banging Tina. He's still an asshole. Yeah, he kind of looks in sensual. He looks like a knockoff version of Patrick Swayze mixed with some Eric Roberts. Eric Roberts. Yeah, there's a dash of Tom Cruise, but that's only when he's got the shades on. Yeah, instead of best to the best, it was the man of the man.
00:50:30
Speaker
The okayest of the okayest. The par of the par. We're going to fifth place at a 10. But he comes in and scares Tommy in one of what I'm assuming is Tommy's masks. Yeah. How else would you get a mask? Because that's why he's pissed off.
00:50:45
Speaker
I thought he was just pissed off because the guy tried to scare him and he did a bit of both. Also got a PTSD going. Oh, PTSD doesn't exist in this era or else every doctor and Pam would be fucking saying that shell shock shell shock, which they also didn't believe in. No, you watched Paths of Glory. Shell shock isn't real. Patton slapped a dude like in World War II, which is after that movie, Patton fucking slapped a dude for fucking having PTSD, which was unnamed.
00:51:12
Speaker
He was just like, Come on, dude, you're fucking faking smack that soul to the face like, get back out there. And I'm sure that guy lived a lot longer. I'm sure he had a wonderful, happy life. But Tommy beats the shit out of this fucking dude. Oh, dude, picks him up and off the top fucking rope slam this dude on the breakfast table. Yeah, mean he gives him a rock bottom through the fucking. He is just like ah punch, punch, punch, punch. Do you smell what that black guy was cooking? Because I'm going to slam you on it.
00:51:42
Speaker
and Then we cut to the roadside crime scene from the greasers and whatnot. And this is where the the sheriff is talking about, like, what the hell is going on here? And that's when we get Roy. You talking to me? Yeah. And as the deputy who says, looks like we got us a maniac on the loose. And I'm like, why? Because people got killed. Talking to me again.
00:52:03
Speaker
Are you still talking to me? I know you walked away, but are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? I don't see anybody else here. There's a bunch of people here. Well, I look like some corner to you. Like I'm some corner here to pick up your amusement. There's a lot of other people here. We meet some more dead meats. We have Lana and Billy, I believe, which is a terrible name for this 40 year old pedophile.
00:52:26
Speaker
i think she's supposed to be of age i mean she's a dia but he looks like a pedophi oh yeah you're not wrong there buddy this is the guy that dropped tommy off
00:52:38
Speaker
so He just got done dumping his last bedpan and now he wants to party with you. Hey, you want to have me touch you with my pee fingers? I didn't wash my hands. Oh, yeah. She's like, neither did I. I work in a diner.
00:53:00
Speaker
Oh, I don't know. It's worse. A diner that has cats inside. Yeah, dude. It's a prize. Cool plates of food. Just like I think I'm done cleaning now. We've all opened after somebody like that. Like, how fucking dare you? He wants to take her out to party. So she's like, I got to go finish. So she goes in, wipes one spot on the counter and is like, that seems good.
00:53:20
Speaker
Goes in the bathroom to get ready for their big date. She has a catchphrase for taking her top off. Yeah. It's showtime and pulls out her titties. They were nice. I'm not mad. They were lovely. It was showtime. It was showtime. they Or Skidimax. I couldn't tell. it's like It's not HBO. It's showtime. She knew what she was doing. Doesn't Jessie Spano do that in showgirls?
00:53:46
Speaker
She's like, Elizabeth Berkeley, please. Why can't I say Jesse? No, because that's not her. OK, coming from the go yeah how many? Let's go back to the tape on all these podcasts. um I'm pretty sure I've never done that in on fucking cloak and dagger. You were calling Henry Thomas E.T.'s or Elliot. Only in the last 20 minutes. I was being respectful and calling him E.T.'s friend.
00:54:11
Speaker
i Look you serve me whiskey and I stop forgetting names and I start going with rolls. I will never forget Elizabeth Berkeley why cause Have you seen those things? Yeah, I'm gonna say about showed a showgirls. She's a horse face. Oh yeah sugar don't Don't change the dial on showgirls. I never do cuz not only is it that one you're gonna watch at home.
00:54:33
Speaker
Yep, with my pants off. Not only is it widely regarded as the reason that no one would ever want an NC-17 rating again, and not only is it regarded as a terrible movie, because it probably is, and not only does it have one of the worst sex scenes I've ever seen on film. Just lied to people about how sex works. But it's directed by Paul Verhoeven, so we'll talk about it. I might be able to get it to surprise guests. Did you say who the fuck's Paul Verhoeven, by the way? Yep. He loves tits. I feel disrespected. Do you not realize I don't really listen He directed... Oh, I can't wait to see what he gives for this guy. RoboCop, Starship Troopers. Flesh and Blood is one that I like. Mars with Schwarzenegger. Mars Volta? No. Oh, total recall. Total recall, thank you. I kept wanting to say true lies, and I was like, that's not it. ah That's James Cammy. That's James Cammy. And that's not on Mars, although it could be. Could be. Could be. Because Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tom Arnold are friends, so it's got to be another world. I never paid attention to who directors were before I met you. Paul Verhoven has a very...
00:55:33
Speaker
a distinct way of directing, usually with boobs, almost always with boobs. And lots of fun. And fun. That's a great word to put in there. It's fun. OK. So this guy is sitting in his car waiting for Lana. Lana! And he pulls out a big pile of cocaine. What's a small pile? He gets a bag. He's got a baggie and a vial. And a mirror. All right, let's talk about it. He has a cocaine kit stashed around his fucking muscle car. On his visor.
00:56:01
Speaker
Yeah. Well, there's there's multiple parts to it. He pulls the mirror off the visor. He grabs the fucking leather pouch from like under the seat. And there's just all kinds of different things he has. He's a gold tutor. He has outer monologue about doing cocaine. Yeah. There's the forecast is cloudy in the mountains, sunny in the valley and snow flurries up your nose. Whoo. That's not the first time this guy has done this. It's probably real coke, too. Yeah. Well, he's a method actor.
00:56:28
Speaker
and he gets out of the car. Lana, hey! Fucking acts right into the top of his shiny little bald dome. Yeah, we see that. Yes, we do. We see that. ah Lana comes out and she's looking all around. She's like, where the fuck is he? He left his door wide open. I guess I'll just get in the car and complain about how cold he is. It's cold.
00:56:45
Speaker
Finds floor cocaine and decides that's what she wants. Well, yeah, well, yeah okay, so she picks the mirror up which has cocaine on it Completely understandable. It's 1985 She reaches down after picking up the mirror and does some stuff and then like licks her finger So she's just like literal floor a quick quick. I need the cocaine I need the cocaine that's mixed in with your french fries quick question. Why else does this check with this guy? Okay, okay, okay? Oh, we didn't mention why I said he was a pet he looked like a pedophile. Oh, so he's He's balding, but with like a comb over. He's got a big old fat stash, huge, very skinny, skinny dude. So just imagine your 80s, skinny bald guy, a horseshoe comb over a big stash. You know, WWF, Mean Jean, Oakland. Yes. But pedophilic. Yes.
00:57:33
Speaker
Like, no, but me actually didn't have the comb over. He just had the total dome. No, that's what I mean. Like, like that's the better version. Yeah. The comb over is where you get closer to pedophilia. Uh huh. Yeah. Don't come. Don't come over. Just let it go, guys. yeah Yeah. Like you've seen this guy hanging out near a school that he didn't go to and didn't have children going to. And she looks so she's getting the cocaine. She sees the bloody axe underneath the door. Apparently,
00:57:59
Speaker
He's standing. Jason Roy wasn't standing there. Just so old J.R. He wasn't there. And then she leaned down and he was there. I get it. That's what Jason does. Where was this dude hiding? Because Roy just on top just as big as Jason. He's just on top of the car. He just jumped off real quick. Yep. And we don't see her die when the moms in the kitchen. It's e t just barely missing her. We don't see her die, but we do get one of my favorite subtitles, which is squelching squelch. And she gets axed.
00:58:28
Speaker
Yeah. Allegedly. No, she did. She did. She did. I have like a little scene in the police department with the mayor. Yeah, sure. Tucker. He wants he wants a real shit. I don't want to hear your shit, Tucker. Was that a new insult? You fucking shit, Tucker. You took in that turd last night. Oh, he's calling his kid a fucking piece of shit. You took in that shit last night.
00:58:54
Speaker
Because he tells him, I don't care if you have to put your own mother behind bars. I want this psycho. This guy's like, I know who it is, dude. You know what? It's Jason Voorhees. It's Jason. He's like, what the fuck did you say to me? He's dead. There's no fuck. We burnt him. We burnt him. We gave his ashes to Poseidon. He's gone. Dumps an ashtray in his face and throws it at him. This is what he is. That's when this guy's like, did you fucking see it? Did you watch him burn? Valid fucking horror movie question, dude. Yeah.
00:59:22
Speaker
This guy's like, I've seen the other four movies. I heard Jason's dead. From who? Who'd you hear that from? They told us he was dead. Yeah, well, you know what? Maybe they're going to send him into space to see if they can replicate his. Oh,
Humor and Comedic Elements
00:59:35
Speaker
God. Don't you dare. Is that what it is? I believe that's how Jason X starts, is they're trying to figure out how he can be so immortal. I hope we can just capture the noise Whitney made, because we're going to need that when we actually watch that episode. I'm going to need that. I'm going to need that in a sound more just, ugh, ugh.
00:59:53
Speaker
It'll just be me talking and then just you guys each have a soundboard that goes Oh Worst episode ever who knows it might be fun for you because you're just pushing a button stifling your husband. It's just your favorite movie. Don't give me a soundboard. No, you've told me it's a fun one. Like it's dumb. what one She'll have to have two buttons. One is and one is i yeah for when we inevitably start talking. Oh, I'm going to get one. with talk We need a third with my.
01:00:25
Speaker
I like saying now. Yeah, I guess you don't want to soundboard for that one. Now takes away one of my few joys in life. Now, you're very few. So Tina and Eddie are back to sneaking off to fuck. Oh, yeah, she's doing laundry. Yeah, she's hanging at linen and he grabs her and swings her around and then they like she's like, fuck you. You scared me. He's like, that's right. Fuck me. Yeah. Fuck me. Fuck me now. And she's like, those are the exact words I needed. So off they go. Apparently this ah people's property, the crazy grant, the crazy Ma and the crazy junior is just a couple of steps away because they don't go far. Oh, we I think it comes to absolutely nothing. But there's a ah traveling person. driven Yeah. Thank you. Who's looking for work at crazy Ma's house. Yeah. Now he catches them fucking. that he's he was literally I think he was introduced in that scene purely body for those seven to eight minute rule. Yeah. Yeah. Because here he's watching them fuck licking his lips like a weirdo. I mean, it's a boner. And then I mean, there's not a there's not a non weird way to lick your lips, but his is the weirdest. And he gets up to go take a piss or a shit or something. He says he's going to go wash himself off. Yeah. I need to wash your steak off. Yeah. You're disgusting.
01:01:44
Speaker
And she just lays blissfully on. I have to go wash myself in the river. So when I hook up with Robin later, she doesn't smell you. I know she's just letting all that semen seep. Oh, she's trying to have a baby. Yeah, she wants a she wants a big baby. It was directed by a porn director. She ate that shit. You think so? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was a full on scene penetration and all.
01:02:08
Speaker
Okay, no babies allowed, so swallows them aside. It takes them a lot longer to get there. This ought to cost me money. That's what they call it that, you know. You got to pay extra for that. Yeah, exactly. But this hobo gets stabbed. Tina chills naked in the woods, which is an enjoyable scene. that is je brettale She's a good looking woman and she's got good looking movies. They ain't wrong, folks. That's all I got to say about that.
01:02:35
Speaker
She's relaxing naked when Roy, just like Forrest Gump looking at tits, man. That's all I have to say about that. Mama always said life was like a bra size. You never do get it right. Oh, I do. Life is like a bra. Titties never know what you're going to get. Nobody is wearing a bra in this movie. If I was going anywhere, I was motorboating.
01:02:55
Speaker
No, they are not because you this right before this scene you commented about Tina because she is she's a well-endowed woman which She probably weighs like 130 pounds and five seven. So yeah in her bra and she's like a double deep breast. I You don't ever see large breasts in movies. Natural movies. Sometimes you do, but especially in the 80s, it was just, it was like skinny girls yeah with little boobs, Robin, or even lana not Lana, Pam. Like whether they're, like they're not small, but they're not like, like these were big and they were braless. And I was like, I mean, I hope those ones come out. Yeah. And they did. Not not to be a pervert or anything. Oh, i'm I'm definitely there for that.
01:03:40
Speaker
But while she's relaxing, having her beautiful naked sunbathe, ah Roy Jason stabs her in the eyeballs with shears, ah yeahp which is awesome. We don't see the stab, yes but we do see the aftermath. And I think maybe this one was intended that way because it's a ah shot of her like looking up, like you see it from her point of view yeah and the shears come down. Because I think it's meant to be like a reveal when Eddie comes back. OK, that makes sense. There's some there's some of them. There was one I noticed early on. I didn't take note of what it was exactly. But he goes to stab someone or maybe it's later because he hasn't killed many people yet. But he goes to stab someone and it looks like the camera like the frame like stretches like they moved the frame. So you didn't see the actual stab because they're like, we don't have another angle of this. Yeah. So it's like you can see the arm going and you can see the guy going, oh, but you can't see the actual knife penetration. OK.
01:04:29
Speaker
It looks like the resolution got weird. Oh, well, the Fertner, the Fartner, the Fartner, the Fartner. Fartner. That actually sounded like a closed butt cheek fart. 3.5 on the signature scale. I'm a butt nerd. I'm a fart nerd. I understand all kind of different farts. This is what happens when Whitney is over. Oh, I give that a two point four. We got a five or ten out of ten. Oh, disappointing. Disappointing showing for the young man from Harlem. It's going to be a bunch of people at the Olympics, too. The Florida Olympics.
01:05:01
Speaker
oh
01:05:05
Speaker
There's that guy. Oh, he gets the gold. There's that guy who's been working on the world record, but when he comes out, he just charts himself. Oh, oh we'renna that's going to really take his score down. let You hate to see it. He's been trying. He's been training all year for this. He's been training the last four years. He didn't qualify the last Olympics. He came here and he shit himself. You know, you got to put it all out there, but not like that. He's been training since he was three years old. His father woke him up at six o'clock every morning.
01:05:31
Speaker
Pull my finger! Pull your own finger! He eats beans for every meal. Pull our fingers! They are the magical fruit. And broccoli. Oh, are we adding stink to the score? I don't just... Broccoli farts. Yeah, I think stench matters.
01:05:48
Speaker
i Nobody light a match, please. just like I just want to isolate that so much. Yeah, I think stench matters. I love you doing Olympic level farting. Stinks
Roy's Murders and Character Fates
01:05:59
Speaker
gotta be a part of it. We have gone off the rails.
01:06:03
Speaker
um That's true. Valid point, thank you. But so Eddie finds her, starts screaming, fucking Jason Roy grabs this dude and puts like a a strap, a leather strap around his head, puts up pulls him up against a tree, sticks a piece of wood between the two little things at the end and starts twisting to tighten it. Yeah. I really, really, really needed to see this head explode.
01:06:25
Speaker
Yeah, I think we as if we filmed it, right? I'm sure this is feels like one of those ones we get where they're just like glimpse. They're like, we got a cantaloupe. We filled it with fake blood and we squeezed a belt around it. Uh huh. Yeah, we get one glimpse of the belt like tearing into his eyes. So it's still really cool. This Jason well really has something against seeing. Like you saw Joey get murdered and you did nothing. That's not too bad. That's a connection I just made in my head. You all just watched. Yep.
01:06:54
Speaker
Yeah, okay. Joey. Did you say Jason or Joey? She said Joey. Yeah, I said Joey. I had Jason in my head. No, she had Joey in the mouth. Like Tommy.
01:07:06
Speaker
Chee-chee-chee. Der-der-der. That's my name's Dave. Cheater. It's like Joey Greco. i Wasn't it Joey Gregor the cheaters? I think so. He's the one that got stabbed. good That's the one good riddance But yeah, so that guy's head gets popped like a pimple Pam is taking Reggie to town to visit her brother who's in town Okay, his brother's really bad when you say it that way and I forget who's who dude fucking she is taking Reggie to town He's 10
01:07:36
Speaker
it Calm down, Pam, to visit his brother demon played by Miguel Nunez Jr. Yes. I know from a couple of things. I'll give you the two right off the top of my tongue because I watched him a couple of weeks or a month ago. um He plays DJ in Street Fighter, of the movie. Yes. And then he is in life with Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence. He is one of the homosexual prisoners. Yeah, very effeminate. OK.
01:08:05
Speaker
I know he's in Juwana and Juwana, man. He fucking leads Juwana, man, which is unfortunate because I that movie already sucked. And then i I know the director personally, personally, personally. He helped me work on a movie in college. His name was Jesse. Something sounded like you had a good interaction with this kid. I did not like him. He was one of the adjunct professor people that worked in like the TV station at the college. And he always talked about how he directed Joanna man. I was like, right. But you're teaching at Northern Arizona University. So sure that name drop right there. Also, I'm really glad I named dropped for the wrong reasons. I was I was talking about the school. Yeah, I was down talking this dude. You're teaching at Northern Arizona University. I'm really glad it was a bad movie that he ruined. Like what if you had directed something you like? but Yeah, you're a fucking cunt.
01:08:53
Speaker
because he was Well, there goes watching fucking Starship Troopers. Thanks a lot. He was supposed to do music for one of our movies, and I think what happened was he put it off until the day we needed it. Oh, it's him? Yeah. And he gave us what sounded like a stock, like iMovie soundtrack music. One long chase scene was the whole little short film. We wanted this like really like tribal, like primal, drumming beat going on. Sure. Very different. For most of it, right? And then it would cut out and come back in.
01:09:22
Speaker
ah He did that, but with whatever free shit was in his iMovie, and he also decided to add in sound effects, like when the star ran across the screen and turned a corner, there was a lion roaring. What? some point, there were helicopter noises.
01:09:37
Speaker
Was it? Was there a helicopter? There was no helicopter or a top down shot. That's a bummer. Yeah. Nope. He just added a bunch of dumb shit. And this was for a a little film festival competition. We didn't have any choice because he gave it to us the day before. So we just had to sink it on and show it. And then a lot of people were like, man, we really liked what you guys shot, but that music was awful. And I was like, yep. bla Yeah, we know. We know.
01:10:00
Speaker
Yeah, so I still have that and it's on on the track to if anybody out there wants to play drums for it because I still think it's good. Oh, I might know people. Travis, the guy that comes in a beer house that has bub tattooed on his arm. He's a fucking drummer. OK. And if he's listening, he did tell me he's the happiest when he's drumming.
01:10:18
Speaker
Nice. So. OK. I've still got it. I think it might be on my YouTube. It's definitely on a disk around here somewhere. Yeah. But I'm pretty sure I get a drum set in my house. like I was like, it's not that big of an ask. It's just that I don't play drums. I play no instruments because I have no musical talent. Fuck. I'll give it a fucking shot. I've been known to bongo or jebbe. But anyway.
01:10:40
Speaker
That's all to come back around to mi Miguel Nunez, Jr., who's playing Demon. And I just love when Reggie says he wants to go see his brother, his grandpa's like, I don't know about that. Then we find out his brother's name is Demon, and they're like, well, now I know why. Lives in a van, has a bunch of different foods in his van on the floor. ah Pizza, tacos, Vanchiladas. I mean, there are so many things. that As a van enthusiast,
01:11:07
Speaker
don't eat off of van floors, just. really And he's so he he's he looks like Michael Jackson. He's got the hair. He's got the jacket. He's hanging out in his van with his girlfriend. A little bit of like Prince's revolution. Yeah, I just it's the hair. Exactly. that It's because it's almost like it's like the Jerry Curl mullet.
01:11:25
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Which just gives me the thriller vibe. Oh, that's the little Richard. Yeah. So, yeah, when they're hanging out in the van smoking weed with this 10-year-old, they're not smoking weed with him, but they're smoking weed. They're smoking weed. And they're with him. And it's in the van. And he's in the van. But, yeah. Well, she is just blowing it straight into his face. Hot. She's so good. Demon is like, you want a taco off his carpet? Like, do you want a barita? Do you want a pizza? Do you want an enchilada? You want an egg roll? A sausage and pepperoni.
01:11:49
Speaker
Oh, that makes it better? Yeah. It's all fat, like it's all cold curdled fat now. You'd be better off offering me like a veg. Yeah, because not only is the cheese curdled, but the grease from the sausage is all up in there, too. Not going to mix well. Grabbing all your van floor stuff, because this van has carpeted walls. Oh, yeah, like shag. So it's got to have shag floor, too. Oh, why wouldn't it? I didn't notice, but the the carpet's got to match the drinks. No, I think you're right to assume so, sir. But so they're hanging out in Demon's van.
01:12:20
Speaker
Tommy went with them like Tommy went with them, but he didn't want to go in demons van. I live in a van down by the river of fire. So he goes for a walk, ah gets hypnotized by a trailer park sign, I guess. Maybe that's something to do with for maybe he lived in a trailer park with a neon sign. I don't know.
01:12:38
Speaker
Yeah, but I was kind of hoping you would like ah i don't so I don't know why he was staring at this sign ah Chalk it up to PTSD. Yeah, cuz then in comes junior with the fucking dirt bike just raring at him Yeah, almost hit some on the dirt bike. Oh, I'll scourge you got you do Are you dumb or something? Wait a minute. You're one of them loonies mama's gonna fuck you up She's gonna chop you little bits of pages turn into stew Exactly that Yeah, thank you. So then they get into a fight. Yeah, Tommy starts kicking his ass. Pam has to break it up before Tommy kills this dude. Tommy doesn't start kicking his ass. Tommy is always kicking his ass and then wants to murder him. yeah This guy is about to go, Tommy being this guy, is about to go full fucking Patrick Swayze and rip this guy's throat out. Oh, throat rip. You're about to get a fucking throat. Nobody puts baby in a mental institution. Cut him out!
01:13:29
Speaker
Turns out they do, especially if you rip out throats. It's the first place they send you. Pam and Reggie have to go, because Tommy runs off. So they go to they go to look for Tommy. we keep We stay on Demon and his girlfriend, knowing that means that they're going to die now. Yeah, but because they're not important to the story. Why are we here still? so This part bothers me. He started smoking some weed. Why? And I think she's like talking about fucking. And then he's like, hold ah hold that thought.
01:13:58
Speaker
I have to take a shit. Are you OK? Damn enchiladas. Vangeladas. Fuck, dude. You're not keeping them things hot. Where did you get these enchiladas? Why are they in your van? And how old are these vangeladas? You know where he didn't get them? Anywhere in this rural community. So they've been in his van for an extended amount of time. Yeah. Dude, two day old room temperature vangeladas will get you. The sour cream on top is just going moldy and he's like, it's fine. Worse.
01:14:23
Speaker
The pedestal, it'll stop me from getting sick. It's fine. It's got red sauce. You can't get red sauce sick. So he runs to this shed, did the outhouse shed, the shit shed, and it's gross in there. And then he's not as gross as it could have been. Yeah. Yeah. I was halfway expecting a train spotting shit shed. Look, dude, I've been to Palo Verde Park. All right. It could be worse.
01:14:45
Speaker
So he's shitting and all of a sudden like the it's a tin shed, basically, and it just starts shaking and he's freaking out. And then she starts giggling and then starts to sing to him. Oh, baby, baby. Well, he's pooping. Find this to be a nice gesture.
01:15:02
Speaker
It caresses out his poops. Yeah, it is fucking weird. I don't want to smell that. Hey, you don't. That's not love. Love is. Don't worry. You can't smell his shit over the rest of the shit in the shed. Exactly. I don't want to smell the shed ballads to your partner while they're pooping. We keep that door closed. All right, fine. Get a fucking walkie talkie. Oh, babe, I got a shit. Go to the kitchen. My darling.
01:15:28
Speaker
hung I was thinking of. Oh, what's the song from um Billy Madison? Oh, yeah. Or is it? is Oh, that's a happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore. I want to kiss you all over and over and again. John, John, John. Tonight closes. Tonight closes.
01:15:55
Speaker
You don't want breakfast? I got you the sandwich and extra meatballs. It's what he's saying to his girlfriend when she leaves him and he's singing over the little. ah Get out of here. No one fucking needs you. I'm sorry. Sometimes I just yell because I'm scared. I've seen those paintings your kindergarten is doing. They suck. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come off with those finger paintings so angry. But.
01:16:17
Speaker
Girlfriend gets her throat cut Miguel Nunez comes out of the the porta potty girl. there with a few Oh, he does pop out for a second Yeah, nope big pile of nope. I'm in front of it. He can't open the door. Oh, I thought he sees her with her throat cut though I thought he just like came back in like I'm not going out there. There's what I thought because I'm murder out there this big steel rod starts getting jammed through the sides of this thing trying to stab him hits him in the leg and stuff and I'm sitting here thinking I know the murderer is out there, but I'm not dying in the shit house. So away what I will die out there with some dignity. I my pants are still around my ankles. There's shit coming out my butt. I still think that's more dignified than dying in the part of every time I bring this up. You ever hear how you're supposed to survive like different types of bear encounters? And so a grizzly bear, you're supposed to handle the same way you handle Jason's. You run away from them with your pants down. Hopefully they slip on your shit when you crap yourself.
01:17:12
Speaker
That's the only chance you have a survival is to run away from JC with down no what i would disclaimer Please don't take this as fact and do not try to bait a grizzly bear and then shit your way away No, you know what do it survival the fittest you dumb idiot So he keeps like trying to crawl up into the shed. I would have just gone down. Oh, not in the toilet, but like just on the floor where all this shit sprays. This girlfriend even says, like, watch out for that snake that's going to crawl up your butt and bite you. yeah That was all. That's Derek's worst nightmare. That's everybody's worst nightmare. I don't I don't use outdoor public bathrooms. I don't.
01:17:51
Speaker
at all. X-Files. X-Files. The one at Riggs Lakes, it was... It was like a... Riggs Lakes. Riggs Lakes. Is that by Crystal Lake? Riggs Lake. It's in Arizona, but it's also like Crystal Lake. It's even worse. It's Crystal Lake, but it's haunted by fucking Riggs from Lethal Weapon. You could feel a breeze on your tush. And the thing with that one... Which, by the way,
01:18:16
Speaker
When you're outside major, a great feeling. Yeah. The thing with that one was it's one of the it's a campground toilet. Yeah. So the thing goes down 100 feet. So it's not like anything's going to come up and get me downtown toilet goes down. But I still couldn't. I like I walked in there and looked in and I was like, nope.
01:18:35
Speaker
and Because what could survive down there is terrifying. Yeah. i started I sat down. I like my cheeks touched it. And I was like, you know what? I'm good. You've seen Star Wars Episode 4, right? New Hope. That's a dianoga in the trash compactor. Yeah, exactly. I think he's going to pull me under the shit. Not this guy. There's something in here. It was nice. 3PO, shut off the trash compactor's on the detention mode. Oh, no. It's too late. That's screaming. But so he gets stabbed through the gut and dies. Yes, he does.
01:19:02
Speaker
And Whitney was like, that's not that's not gonna kill you quickly. I was like in a horror movie. It does. No, he knew he's like, if I pretended to be dead, he'll leave me alone. I can bleed out with some dignity with my pants. do No, the pole was still there. So everything's fine.
01:19:13
Speaker
Oh, he lived, okay. He went down and lived in that poo's water. He just pretended to die. No, that pole was near the shit. That had shit on the end of it. Yeah, septic. He's septic at best. So Junior's back at home. He's pitching a fit on his dirt bike, just riding around outside, jumping off the fucking porch in a fit. Oh my God, can he just die already? This guy is having a fucking meth rage fit. Yeah.
01:19:36
Speaker
And they hired a stunt man to do this. They had to have because this dude is jumping off the the no I think that's why he got hired because he could do it. I think it's him. But he's screaming about how they hurt me. Mama, you should kill him. And she can't hear shit. He's saying, you get in here, get off that back and eat the stew. I made you. Can we talk about this pot? Let's talk about this pot. It's an enormous pot that you would find in a delightful Mexican restaurant that is making all the guys for, yeah, 100 people. And it's in the sink. Yeah, we're not cooking it.
01:20:05
Speaker
We're not heating it up. It's looking disgusting. This is bathtub stew. Like, if stew was illegal and went to, like, the style of bootlegging and you made bathtub gin, this is bathtub stew. ah Why do you have that heating element under your bathtub? I like taking warm baths. Yeah, dude, fucking, this family is just, they're, they're meth makers, right? They have to be. At least meth users. Yeah. Well, they're, you're hillbillies. Well, they're eating, so they're not using.
01:20:34
Speaker
She's not. She's not eating. She feeds him and he's eating. But let's throw up like he eats with things like with everything coming out of his mouth and he's talking. And he's eating out of this big wooden bowl. This is earlier in the movie and he's using an actual like ladle, not a spoon. So he's just scooping into his mouth and it's just running down his face and it's dropping back into the bowl. I was so happy to not be eating. Food is coming out of his mouth into the bowl, and then he's picking it up and eating it again. I could eat watching, like, these murders, but not this. Like, watching the guy get in the axe in the head, I'm like, oh, what's weird? Let me have a bite of this hot dog. This guy fucking doing his thing, and I'm like, let me get a bucket to throw up what's gonna look like goldfish later. he You don't eat and talk at the same time, my friend, especially when that food is stew.
01:21:19
Speaker
Yeah. Especially when that food is going into your mouth as words are coming out. By the way, I don't think you know what stew means. This is runny. This is soup at best. But he goes riding by a tree and Jason Roy's a arm comes out with a cleaver and slices this dude's head clean off. We don't see the slice, but we do see the head roll, so I'm OK. Jason Roy makes him sound like such a redneck. Oh, Jason Roy got my champagne. Look at the people around where this is his happening.
01:21:46
Speaker
ah Sheriff Tucker. Not wrong. Fucking mama and junior. and Jason Rawr. I don't know where Clint Howard is from ticks, but he's living around here somewhere. Clint Howard is just one holler over. Holla. Holla. And then Ma gets her face chopped with the same cleaver and through the window. Like, he just punches through this window and chops her face. And then she face plants hers too.
01:22:09
Speaker
Well, you ruined a good soup water. Oh, when she squeezes that tomato. it Second most disgusting part of the movie. It would like the tomato just look bad. Yeah. Like a rotten tomato. Yeah. it was all but but ah Move on from the tomato.
01:22:25
Speaker
So Pam has to go out because so now Tommy's missing. ah Eddie and Tina are missing. ah Somebody else is missing. All the people who are dead, basically. Yeah, we got and also sha and what's her name, Tina, Tina, Jake and Tina. Tina was with Eddie. Oh, Jake. j We have Jake, Robin and Robin are hanging out at the house.
01:22:46
Speaker
watching a movie that your wife recognized, but could not tell us what it was. Pam is going out to look for everybody else, because also Matt, the guy who runs the place, went out at some point. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Seems deleted. But so she goes out to look for them and her truck dies. Seems deleted for sure, because we find him just to jump ahead. We find him just with a railroad spike in his neck against a tree.
01:23:08
Speaker
Oh, that may have been a cut scene, but also like it's a good. I mean, in my opinion, for like the way this movie unfolds, it's a good like jump scare thing because she's running around. She we see all the other dead bodies, which we'll get to here shortly. She's out in the woods and she's running along right after some other dudes. Oh, the cooks body got tossed through the window. Oh, and she's out there running around. And someone's going through that window and acts like someone is not Jason. I was like, nope.
01:23:33
Speaker
It wasn't. But she's out there running around and then suddenly lightning flash and she sees this guy stuck. So like I'm sure it was cut. But also it's a good like, oh, shit, there's a yet another one. I like your brain. So and honestly, I kind of forgot about him. Yep. So like he hasn't been in the story and it's like, oh, shit, there you are and you're dead. The fucking railroad spike in your head. That railroad spike from ah number four, or seven, whichever one we talked about. Seven. Carrie. Yeah, Jason versus Carrie. From Hard Rock Zombies? No, Jason versus Carrie when... Because it we figured out eventually that it was the tent spikes. Yeah, yeah. Tent
Story Pacing and Climax
01:24:08
Speaker
steak. Steak. Did you say I want steak. Did you say steak? I always say steak.
01:24:15
Speaker
So, Jake and Robin, like I said, are watching a movie together. He's trying to fuck with the ah very awkward line of I wantt want want to make love to you. I mean, it starts worse. So he's like, I like you. And she's like, yeah, I like you too. He's like, no, I really like you. And she doesn't pay attention. And I guess he's like, I just I want i want to make love to you. o As Whitney pointed out, it is with you, which is even worse.
01:24:38
Speaker
want to make love with you well what's that or make love on you well to you with you sounds creepier I guess to you sounds forcible just don't say I want to make I want to make love unless you've been in love and even then come off it you've evolved past that term have i Have we ever said that to one another? No. But but but but big baby wants to fuck. Baby wants to make love. But but but baby wants to make mom make love. We're not making fun of people's stutters, just this actor. Yeah. and And now I'm just picturing Dennis Hopper in fucking Blue Valley. Baby wants to make love. Baby wants to make love. He comes in while I'm watching that, and she's like, she still says, what the fuck are you watching? But for a whole different reason.
01:25:19
Speaker
What the fuck is this stupid shit? I thought it was blue velvet, it's aqua velvet. Just watching aqua velvet? Nope, nobody wants to watch that. But she literally laughs in his face. So he goes upstairs to try again with Violet, I guess. I don't know if he's going to talk to her or try to fuck her. Yeah, probably really hard to tell because it seems like he wants to talk, but also at the same time, it's like, I'm fucking somebody tonight. Yeah, I don't care. It comes down to it. I'll fuck my couch. I'm going to fuck the sleeve of my favorite jacket. I will advance it.
01:25:49
Speaker
I know it's not true and I don't care. But fuck, it's funny, man. This is where we get a cool dancing scene. Dude, she's doing this. She's doing some moves to this fake Joy Division. like But she's also doing... Joy Division. She's doing breakdancing moves. break dancing move she's doing like the grab the rope and like pull yourself shit. Well, that's a mime move, my friend. That's right so it's a mime move. Watch breakdancing from the 80s. It's a lot of mime shit. Fair. It's a lot of mime shit with some spins. She's doing the robot.
01:26:17
Speaker
She is doing the robot. ah He turns around because she's like, can it wait? And he's like, no. And she keeps dancing. So he turns around and gets his face chopped by Jason Roy. Jason Roy. JR or JR. JR. That's the other reason why I thought it was Tommy is because he's always gone when this is happening.
01:26:37
Speaker
which is by design for one cut of this movie. Yeah. And then also, I mean, it leaves you with the red herring factor, right? Yeah. See, I didn't mean I wasn't even trying to solve a mystery this whole time. I was like, yeah Jason. Yeah, they don't. Jason, like they don't present the it's not Jason thing very well. Uh huh.
01:26:53
Speaker
Like they're like, well, he's dead. Like yeah I've heard that before. I'm also coming at it from seeing almost none of these fucking movies yeah before you. But still, it's it's like we've heard that he's dead at least four times now or three times. So it wouldn't be unheard of for me to think it's him. Yeah. Yeah.
01:27:10
Speaker
Um, but so then Robin goes up, goes to bed, gets naked because there hasn't been boobs for about 20 minutes. No, she doesn't. She has like this little tiny robe, like a little shower robe. No, either way, she's pulling out her boobies because there hasn't been boobies for 20 minutes. Exactly. We gotta to get her, we gotta hit our quotas here, guys. She's got fun little iccups.
01:27:26
Speaker
I did see a thing. This director has a board. He's like, all right, every this many minutes murder. Besides that boobs. Well, I read a thing. Deborah Voorhees was talking about this movie because it was like her first and breaking role thing. Sure. And she's like back then, like people just like you got to show your boobs to get this role. And she's like, so that's what we did. She's like, we kind of had it hard like because we all did it and people were like, oh, you're in trash movies. But now people are getting naked and they're winning Oscars. Yeah, and she's not wrong because it wasn't 80s gimmick. Like it's a slasher movie. How many boobs? Three different sets. OK. OK. That's not quite what I need. OK. Three and a half. Got it. Yeah. Now three in a wet t-shirt. Yeah. Three in a wet t-shirt. But she goes to bed, doesn't notice the body in her bed, because why would you? It's not the body. It's just the head. He gets his head cut off.
01:28:19
Speaker
Oh, is it just the head? Yep. OK, because she rolls over and the is I'm noticing that there is stuttering Jake's face staring directly at her and she gets stabbed up through the bed. I'll Kevin Bacon from number one the problem is we only see it from the bottom. We don't see. yeah Yeah, exactly. We see the ham with the mesh at a go through. But as Derek pointed out, like you're you're stealing from your borrowing from yourself, except we can't show it.
01:28:45
Speaker
You've shown it. You've done it. We saw it. It was amazing. If you're going to pay homage or whatever, let's see it again. I think by the time we're here, it's like the NPA is like, OK, these movies are going too far because now slashers are like a thing, right? Yeah, because I mean, technically, the first one was like Black Christmas, which was like 1976. And then you had like Halloween and some other stuff.
01:29:06
Speaker
Friday the 13th the first one I think was 80 but by this time they're like you're getting a slasher every couple weeks So the MPa is at the point where they're like we're cutting down on this shit those Christian moms hated I was gonna say they're probably like the pro lifers Well, if you ever watch a documentary called This Film Is Not Yet Rated, I remember being very interesting. It's been a long time. I think it was like 2004 it came out. But it's about the rating system and the people who do it, which we don't know who they are. It's a secret cabal of people who rate films. You're not allowed to know who they are, except for the lady who runs it. Because they're going to get murdered. And well, I think it's their story is that it's for like bribes and shit. But either way, like.
01:29:47
Speaker
And there's a bunch of stuff in that about how the rating system is not equal, not created equal in any way, shape, or form. ah You could put out a movie and you're working with Universal or Warner Brothers and you can get away with way worse shit than if you were working with A24. A24, Lionsgate, or somebody you somebody's smaller that's not a major producer.
01:30:06
Speaker
And that was also the one where I heard the story, which is kind of what this guy tried to do supposedly, that Matt Stone said when they made Team America, they made the sex scene with the puppets. And if you watch the un-fucking awesome scene, if you watch the unrated version, it's really, really long and it's really, really gross. Like they're pooping and peeing and there's like 15 different positions. It's so long. I feel like that's the only one I've seen. It's so long. But they made it that way.
01:30:33
Speaker
So that because they knew that the MPAA was going to tell them they couldn't have the puppet sex scene. Yeah. So they made it that way and then submitted it. And that way, when they were like, you've got to change this, they cut it down to what they actually wanted and submitted it. And they were like, perfect. That's man's with plans. Yeah. But it's a good documentary about how we don't get to see anything. This film is not yet rated. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. She gets stabbed through the bed. Violet is dancing by herself. Uh oh. And then Jason like watches her and then leaves.
01:31:01
Speaker
No, he goes into her closet because he opens the door and then she looks over and he's not there. But then when he comes out, it's from like her closet right there. OK. And I guess she gets to her single room, but Robin definitely had a bunk bed with nobody. But also did it. Yeah. OK.
01:31:18
Speaker
Um, but she gets choked up against the wall and stabbed. Kind of unceremonious. Yeah, very much so. No, no big murder. I was waiting for her to be get thrown out this window. Yep. You're in the top floor for a reason, dude. Yeah. make No one goes out of a window. One guy comes into a window. Yeah, we get the reverse of that.
01:31:35
Speaker
Reggie is looking around like because he was sleeping on the couch. He's looking to see if Tommy's back yet. So he goes to Tommy's room, lightning flashes. All of these dead bodies are stacked on Tommy's bed. Jason is an artist. It's just like seven where he like collects them all into a murder like tableau.
01:31:51
Speaker
ah To show off his kills And that's I think that's also like yeah look Tommy did it but also if you're murdering a bunch of people You're gonna stack their bodies on your bed. I would think the exact opposite I don't want to sleep in that like oh man Derek wouldn't put bodies in his own bed. Somebody must be putting them there exactly He wants to go to bed later. This is where we decided that Pam really sucks. Yeah Cuz she shows up and she's like Reggie's screaming. She's like, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's happening? She's shaking this kid. What is it? Speak, you motherfucker. Tell me. Tell me. Talk. Do something. Hey. what And
Film Conclusion and Legacy
01:32:23
Speaker
he's trying the whole time. And she's just like not shutting up and shaking him. he as I was going to say, by the way, shaking the shit out of this kid.
01:32:30
Speaker
And finally, he like just says Tommy's room. So she goes in and it's really actually a very funny moment. She walks in. You get the lightning flash. so You see it come out of the room and then you hear her scream, but you don't see what she's seeing. To me, it was really funny. I was expecting her to walk out or like fall backwards with the machete. And I thought she was going to come out with a machete in her stomach, like poking all the way out.
01:32:50
Speaker
Nope. They go downstairs and Jason Roy walks through this door. and I don't mean he opens it and enters the doorframe. No, it's a slow motion Kool-Aid man. He Kool-Aid man's this door, which makes less sense when you find out that it's just a paramedic. Yeah, like Jason can do that. Roy Roy shouldn't be able to. He's all hopped up, hopped up that country myth. Yeah. And there's a there's a bunch of cat and mouse here. They go through the woods and find the ambulance with the other dead paramedic in it. The dickhead.
01:33:19
Speaker
And then Jason pops up right there, and I'm just like, what? How the hell did you? ah Tunnels, dude. Scooters. You know those little scooters you can just pay with your card? Yeah, yeah, we did that. Jason has them all over, dude. I just think it's part of the lore.
01:33:36
Speaker
It's important. ah This is where Pam finds Matt dead with the railroad spike in his head. She goes back to the house. Oh, yeah, because her and Reggie get separated. Yeah. She goes back to the house. I do love that she's try like trying, quote unquote, to find Reggie by screaming. But she gets to the house, shuts the door and just starts yelling, Reggie!
01:33:57
Speaker
You're in the house with the door closed. Those small child is in the woods somewhere. Yeah, he can't hear you yelling. Maybe she thinks he's in the house. But this is what Whitney was like. Oh, someone's coming through that window. And Jack's like, well, who else could it be? But Jason got to be Jason. Right. Nobody else. Reggie's grandpa's dead body just. Oh boy.
01:34:19
Speaker
and And it took me a minute to because I was like, who the fuck is that? Miguel Nunez Jr. is dead in the porta potty. Did you bring him the whole way? There's only three black characters before in this movie because of Miguel Nunez's girlfriend. That would have been a bold maneuver for this movie and I would have applaud it. Extra one and a half stars if you throw a child through a fucking window. I don't care if it's a little baby dummy. You take a dead baby dummy child and huck it through a window to scare a white lady. You know what? Hollywood doesn't have balls. No. Damn shame. I forgot about that character because he disappeared at the breakfast scene. Yeah.
01:34:59
Speaker
before the murder started i didn know he's saying goodby he's saying goodbye to reggie when they were going the oh that's right and then that's it though done that's right because i remember thinking when they're watching them drive off it's grandpa and matt and they're both watching the truck drive away and like synchronized, they both turn around or walk away at the same time. And I was like, they've both got that perfect like dad waiting for you to drive down the driveway. time they do Like as soon as the truck starts to turn, they're like and pivot. and Whenever we go visit my parents, they do that. They stand outside. So watch I'll give you a hug when you leave my house and get the fuck out. You don't hug people. But so she's crawling away from Jason Roy, not not going to live because she's not standing up. ah ah She's outside at this point. And Reggie shows up in a tractor. Do you know it is the lowest. It is the fucking Austin Powers scene with the steamroller. No.
01:35:58
Speaker
No! It's so fucking long. He's having a gay old time on this tractor, though. That's just the actor getting the drive. His little kid's like, fuck, yeah, behind this wheel. I can't reach the pedals, but I'm behind the wheel.
01:36:13
Speaker
And he hits Jason with the tractor, makes him and launches him away. And he's down. And I said, drive the fuck on top of him. Yes, you drop that fucking bucket and you so just grease him into the ground. And if you're watching this movie, not realizing that this isn't Jason, then you're like, why are you stopping? Yeah.
01:36:33
Speaker
But knowing that it's a human being, he got hit and flew about 20 feet and he has like slashes across his chest. Yeah, that bucket left a big fucking slash. He could be down, but he is wearing the mask. So he grabs Reggie's ankle. They have a whole scream thing. um They run into the barn and Pam starts sword fighting Jason Roy with a chainsaw. Yes, he does. Not well. Not well, though, dude. I'm sorry. If you came at me with a machete and I have a chainsaw, nine out of 10, I'm going to win that fight. Yeah.
01:37:01
Speaker
i'm And also, if I cut your arm, I'm not going to just celebrate. I'm going to cut the rest of you. Yeah. Tell that should work. The chainsaw dies, so she throws at him very weakly. I wanted him to grab it and be like, watch this, just get this started. Well, this is the second gas powered thing she's had that quit working. She needs to learn what gasoline is. Sorry, I don't know how to read gas. I don't know how to read meters. I thought he was for efficient. Tommy shows up and they have like a face off moment where they're staring at each other while Jason just continues to close the gap at his slow pace and Tommy just stands there. Jason's are like bears. You have to stand your ground. Do not challenge them. Put your arms up like a red panda. Look bigger. Hey bear. Hey bear. Well he's like in a trance at this point because he's hearing like the doctor say
01:37:51
Speaker
Remember like Mufasa. Remember, remember the 13th of February, Friday. Less of a ring to it. It's less of a ring. It's not February. Sorry. And so and then he gets slashed across the chest. You dummy. and Even Pam was an idiot. It's like youre he's going to kill you.
01:38:10
Speaker
Like she's the one saying, yeah don't run. don Don't run. Don't run. Don't run. She's telling me not to run. I'll listen this one time. I'm going to listen. All right. She is my doctor nurse. I'll stay here. But he pulls out this little ah pocket knife we saw him with earlier. I mean, it's a pretty big pocket knife. It is, but it well compared to the machete, it's not. It's not. But he stabs Jason in the fucking femoral artery with that shit, Jason Roy. Which again, if it's Jason, this is this is a nothing wound. Yeah. Yeah. This is a walk off. But if he's a paramedic, that's a wound. See, he wouldn't have pulled it out if he was a paramedic. He would have just left it in there. Oh, he's in murder mode. He's so messed up in murder mode. Oh, yeah.
01:38:50
Speaker
He's all messed up. So they climb up this ladder and Jason follows around all night. They climb up the ladder and Jason follows them and all of us are like, so kick the ladder. Yeah, for sure. It might even be nailed in, but I can kick that out. Yeah. This is a rickety old barn. Yeah.
01:39:07
Speaker
But they don't so he gets up there Reggie's spider monkey jumps onto Jason Which is funny Pam comes in and starts hitting him from the back with just an axe handle Yeah then Jason takes it from her She looks down and sees like a pit of spikes below or like more combat, you know, most most farms have a pit of spikes if I'm not wrong um it's for Tossing the hail bays on to so they don't the hail ha base but he does base you know what it's actually called it's called a squeeze I know that from god like why is he big is that right a bale of hay that's i'm trying to sayise say the fuck is going on over there
01:39:50
Speaker
That's what I was trying to say. Talk about three people that shouldn't be talking about farms sitting in a fucking field talking about farms. Hail of bays. Hail of bays. I just kept saying. Wait, am I, like, I'm supposed to be the stone one here, by the way. This is, this has gone out of control. I just kept saying to him, like, bail a hail bae? Rowad. Rowad.
01:40:12
Speaker
Did you eat a gummy? No, I just can't think words. Now you can think of you just can't say I'm from the big city. I don't know where the bale hay is. So he does. ah Jason does drop the machete. like Yeah. But then they kick him out because Tommy's up there already. Finger quote dead. Yeah. They kick him out this like barn door with this is where he this is where he spider monkey he jumps and ah Reggie spider monkey jumps. Yeah. And knocks him. Yeah. And so they go to look over. because they think he fell into the spikes and we're already disappointed. Like, well, you didn't see him have fallen the spikes ah because he's not in the spikes. He's hanging off the side. ah ah ah And he's reaching for Reggie's leg and Pam's like.
01:40:54
Speaker
Now Tommy's up and he's like, you know what? I'm going to fucking Luke Skywalker you. Yeah. Or any Skywalker, really. Yeah. So that hand is getting chopped off. Most of the Skywalkers are missing their arm. Yeah, it's ah it's a hereditary thing. You don't know when it's going to happen, but you will lose that hand. What about Rey? Is that why she's not a real Skywalker? That's exactly why she's got not a real Skywalker. Because she was the grandfather. Her grandfather was the emperor, right? Kind of. Look at this. I know. Hey, hey, I'm taking this win. Thank you.
01:41:26
Speaker
The movie that movie we saw one time when it came out, and she can remember that we watched multiple times. She's like, never seen it because it was traumatic and left a fucking scar.
01:41:39
Speaker
But yeah, Tommy cuts off his arm. He falls down as he's falling. The mask comes off. He hits the spikes, which we do see. And it's not nearly as
Closing Thoughts and Future Plans
01:41:47
Speaker
satisfying as no, it's not what it should have been. so They drop it away, drop the dummy on there. And that's great. But they should have just forget the dummy completely. Drop a bag of blood on it. Yeah. Yeah. Cut to body. Wet t-shirt full of red jello.
01:42:03
Speaker
I mean, it's and now that would have been that was three years earlier. I was like Spielberg's got one of them sitting around. Yeah. you don't think He's got a warehouse full of Jello shirts. But this is when we see that it's Roy because he's wearing a prosthetic thing and the mask and the whatnot. And I love that. All right. Movies over. Well, I love that like they reveal that it's Roy as if everybody watching is going to know that Roy has literally been in four seconds of this movie. Yeah, sure. Because it showed him and I was like, well, that's definitely not Jason.
01:42:31
Speaker
But I don't know who you are. Yeah, it's the paramedic you saw for three seconds in the first death scene and four seconds at the crime scene later talking about me, talking about me like terrible, terrible stuff. But so we get some exposition from the sheriff that Joey was actually Roy's son and he was using Jason's crimes to cover up his crimes and he was mad.
01:42:57
Speaker
because his son got killed at the the thing. So this has now that we to have the reveal, it doesn't have to be anywhere near Crystal Lake. We talk about the proximity thing now far Jason will go. I think it's in the region because these people all know who Jason Voorhees is very well. And this guy's got Roy has like newspaper clippings in his wallet like a the sheriff knows the governor knows. So yeah, so it's in that area somewhere. But it's not Crystal Lake because they never say that. Yeah.
01:43:26
Speaker
It's a new beginning. We're trying to forget that. Tommy's and in his hospital bed. He has a vision of Jason that he stares down until it disappears. First, he has a dream that he stabs. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. Pam. Pam. And then wakes up all cold, swear hot, sweat. And then he reveals that he's got the the blue hockey mask. Well, it's white, but with the blue marks in his little drawer because he brought it with him. but Yeah. Why is it? Why does he have it? I don't know why it's not in evidence.
01:43:53
Speaker
No, none of this makes sense except for the original cut that was going to be him being Jason the whole time. So that's when we hear the. da I'm like, Oh, kill Tommy. Get it. It's funny. Get it. Get it. It's funny. Thank you. Pam comes in because it comes in because she hears some noise and it looks like it looks like Tommy has jumped out the hospital window on the third floor. Well, he doesn't have insurance. I've been treated. I'm going to jump out this window. Oh, I got to go back. Oh, hey, excuse me. Front desk. I already have a room, but there's no window there. I jumped out of it. Can you say this room is awful? It's got a terrible draft. One star.
01:44:35
Speaker
But he comes out from behind the door wearing the behind Pam wearing the mask with a knife. Yeah, like where we go to black. Not even a knife because like sure, it's a hospital. You can find a scalpel. Yeah, you might be able to find a ah bone saw. Yeah, I know. You could find something. This is a chef's knife. Yes. For sure. The cafeteria doesn't have shop in broccoli. Doesn't have a chopped broccoli. So we'll have to do this even though I have a feeling I know where it's going. Recommendations. no Actually, you know what? I didn't hate it. It was funny to watch. ah i I honestly fucking give it a watch. So is there like a three thumb? No, it's just a recommendation. I will recommend it with all of Jack's caveats. I mean, the movie had some decent blood and murders, had some had three and a half tits. I give it three and a half tits. No, I'm glad I watch it with you guys. I'm happy that we had had some drinks. I'm always happy I'm stoned.
01:45:33
Speaker
Besides that, it was nothing to do with the movie. It's just in general. But yeah, no, it's fun enough with you guys. And I think that I will enjoy watching it next time, knowing how kind of stupid it is with some good murders. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was expecting both of you guys to straight up. Nah, but I wanted to. But it it had good murders and tits. It did. That's what I had to think about it. It's fun enough. Friday the 13th is my favorite of the Slasher series.
01:46:00
Speaker
Um, not for quality purposes, but for kills and boobs purposes. Can't stress enough. This is not a good movie. No, but I liked it. It's one of the worst of the ones I've seen. Like entertainment wise, like it's just, it's, you can, it feels pieced together. This is better than the Carrie one. It feels like they made it. I don't know, man. I think I liked that one more. oo Not when we watched it, but now I do. Yeah. Not me and wife stuff.
01:46:23
Speaker
No, but it feels like a hundred and seven minute movie that got cut down to a ninety two minute movie and then cut back into a one hundred minute movie and then cut down to a ninety minute movie and then cut back into a hundred and ten minute movie and then back down to a ninety two. He's not wrong. Like it just feels disjointed, but I did enjoy death and I enjoyed being able to see it. Some of it. I wasn't here for but some of them I wasn't here for plot today. Yeah.
01:46:47
Speaker
So that's that. Um, that's been our special Friday, the 13th episode coming up in just three days on Monday. You'll have our next normal episode coming out, which will be hackers. Yeah. Yeah. Celebration bitches. And if I'm not mistaken, hackers came out on August 15th, which would be Sunday this year. So we're just, so we're and we're just one day late. Wait, September.
01:47:13
Speaker
or August, September 15th. Sorry. I don't know what it was i once you got a time machine. I don't know what month I'm in anymore. I never do. All right. Oh, yeah. We need to pick the next movie. I'm going to guess that you're pulling number three. Cool. Which one do you think I'm going to pull?
01:47:32
Speaker
You're probably going to pull number four just because it'd be weird to do them in reverse order. I'm hoping you pull number nine or ten. Come on. Three stops. Stop. You wish it were only a nightmare. Friday the 13th. I think this is the original. The original. Oh, wow. The ones you just put in. All right. We're doing it. So December 13th. Tune back in for Friday the 13th. That's it. There's no other words on it. That's it. It doesn't have a part. It doesn't have a subtitle. I'm excited. I'm an excite. I should be an excite. This is going to be an excite. I got to forget the plot. The the the Shin Llamalam turn. What? Shamamala. Oh, a nice shaman. And Shamalama ding dong. That's the one. It's a Christmas present for all of us.
01:48:22
Speaker
That's what it is. Mostly Jesus. Oh, yeah, that's our Christmas Friday, the 13th. So on Monday, you get hackers in three months, you get or in three months, you get Friday, the 13th, part one. So remember that. And don't forget to join our Patreon, patreon.com slash worst people. It's only three dollars a month, three dollars a month. If you have joined, thank you very much. I appreciate you. We appreciate all of you. You get a bonus episode every month. This month's bonus episode is Tremors, speaking of Kevin Bacon. The good one. The good one. And then we're doing one of the bad ones also, but not on Patreon. There's no such thing. There's not. I have all seven. Let's watch them. All tonight, one through seven. Ready, go.
01:49:05
Speaker
Hope you have no plans tomorrow. No, we're at 5 p.m. But that's it for this episode. but Thank you, Vasion, for opening and closing music and me for doing a little bit of editing to make it sound spoopy. Yeah, thank you. I've been Derek. I'm still Whitney. I'm Jack. Get yourself.
01:49:54
Speaker
Yeah, I think stench matters.