Transcript
Speaker: Oh
Speaker: welcome back to han took shots first i'm derek i'm jack and we're talking about the mandalorian chapter four sanctuary o directed by definitely not nepo baby bryce dallas howard written by john favreau original air date november 2019 twenty nineteen It's a long time We had no idea it was coming.
Speaker: No. We didn't know. november We're just like, man, Mandalorian sure is cool. It's a good thing 2020 will be fine. Yeah, dude, if more Mandalorians coming out, 2020 is going to be great. It, in fact, was was not great.
Speaker: We start on this farm planet. I didn't catch the name. Something with an S. Yeah, they say it doesn't it it it doesn't register because it doesn't exist except for this show, as far as I can tell. Schenectady.
Speaker: yeah That sounds about right. Watch out for, well that's why Espenzito's in this. Yeah. he We don't see it, but he kills everybody here after they leave. Turns out he's the butcher of Schenectady.
Speaker: Check out Bad Movies, Worst People for more on that. If you want to understand that joke.
Speaker: and We have these people who live here. They're all farmers. We have ah Eugene Cordero playing Stoke. He's from Tacoma FD. Also, i want to get some IMDB trivia out of the way.
Speaker: He um played in oh what's his in The Good Place. He was Manny Jacinto's friend, Pillboy. So now him and Manny Jacinto both in Star Wars.
Speaker: Oh, nice. Clickety-clack.
Speaker: I like this guy. He's funny. Yeah, he's good. I mean, I don't remember him from The Good Place. I did watch it, but it's been... He's only in the flashbacks of when Jason's still alive. Okay. It's like it's his buddy Pillboy that he's trying to, like, pull the heist with. and I think he's the one that locks him in the safe.
Speaker: And we also have O'Mara, played by Julia Jones, ah who was apparently in Twilight Eclipse. Yeah. I'll take your word. I'll take your word.
Speaker: She was also in Westworld and she was in that Disney plus Marvel show Echo, which is one of the only ones I have not watched. Oh, I started that and I just it it's a character I could not care about.
Speaker: She was fine in was a Hawkeye. Yeah, sure. but like i mean But I don't think it was warranted her own show. Yeah. like Do you want to see a Bebop or Rocksteady standalone movie? No.
Speaker: Kind of. Bad example. Fuck. Do you want to see the captain without Tennille?
Speaker: No. You need Captain and Tennille.
Speaker: now i'm talking Now I'm thinking about this Bebop and Rocksteady movie, and it's got like Toga and Rezar there too. Oh, man, they're all like flatmates. Yeah, and it's just it's it's just like a real-world style comedy, but it's a movie. Like MTV.
Speaker: When Bebop ate my entire family-style Asian dinner, I wasn't too happy, you know, and I got to be honest, man, he ain't looking too good. i was coming here trying to hook up with somebody, but I guess I'm going to have bring some skank home.
Speaker: That's how those confessionals go, right? Yeah, something like that. I don't really watch those kind of things, but it sounds right. Yeah, I think I did okay for, especially for to a guy that doesn't know what I'm talking about. I did okay.
Speaker: And their little village is being attacked by ah clatoonians, which are apparently aliens that are evolved from bulldogs. Yeah, when we were talking about the Chavinistons from um the werewolf-looking dude from Skeleton Crew, we were talking about other dog races. Forgot about the Clatoonians.
Speaker: doesn't sound like a dog name. But they're straight-up bulldogs. I know, but Clatoonians sounds like it should be like some Roger Rabbit-style like cartoons in real life running around. Okay. Okay.
Speaker: I like that. Whenever they shoot people, the laser bolts have little like mustaches and cowboy hats. We gotta get them. I think he wins that away.
Speaker: There's a singing lightsaber in there. who It just does the Moe Sidesley. Well, you can also sing Bea Arthur's song from the holiday special. wish I remembered that song now.
Speaker: Something boring. Yeah, well we're going to watch it again. i didn't get a 4K fucking DVD of it for nothing. Yeah, I didn't buy it on disc to not watch it. Exactly. Man, we hate ourselves.
Speaker: That's setting up what's going on around this planet, and these guys keep attacking these farmers. We cut to space. We've got the baby ah just fiddling with switches. I feel like they lean real heavy into the baby comedy for the at least the first half of this. It works.
Speaker: Does it not work for you? Yeah, it works. Okay. I know there's some people it doesn't work for. I just found out yesterday that my brother doesn't like the Mandalorian because he can't stay in Grogu. That's a very rare take because when I first saw Baby Yoda as we knew him before we had the name, I was against it because it's a gimmick.
Speaker: you know I was like, oh, it's this cutie little thing. You're just trying to sell toys, but it really worked. And also you bought the toys. I bought the toys. I got one. Oh, no, he's still missing. Well, like that he's like fiddling with switches and shit, and Mando's like, stop touching that. And so he touches a different switch, and the whole shit starts to shudder. But he does it real slow, too. He's like, stop touching stuff.
Speaker: Yeah, that very last one was just like, eh. And that's when it drops out of fucking hyperdrive almost. He's like, sit the fuck down. Get you a frog to chew on. So if they find this planet they're like, oh, well, there's no one here. So we low. There's no spaceport.
Speaker: He says, you want to lay low and stretch your legs, you little wump rat? Aw. Which is funny because in the next episode, Pelley Moto calls Mando a womp rat. So it's kind of like just saying to a kid like, hey, you want to go relax, you little fuck face?
Speaker: I don't think that's how you don't think that's what you say to children. I know, but like that's what, because she later on calls him a womp rat as an insult. So in this case, he's like, hey, shithead, you ready to hang out?
Speaker: ah We had very different takes on that. Well, I didn't think about it until I heard Pelley Moto talking in the next one. It's like calling somebody street urchin. But no one will find us here, he says, as the famous last words.
Speaker: Nothing could go wrong. I do like when they land, too. It's another one of the baby jokes. He's like, all right, don't fucking touch anything. Stay here. Stay in the cockpit. Don't just stay right here.
Speaker: Yeah, hard cut to him getting out of the ship. Baby's right next to him. He's like, good God. Because he he probably took a step, picked him up, put him back. Took a step, picked him up, put him back. like you know We're going to do this all day, right? Fuck. You know what? Just come with me.
Speaker: So they go to this ah little village, little like cantina whatever here. um Some delicious looking meat on a stick and noodles. Love a meat on a stick. Love a noodle.
Speaker: i was I was thinking about that. I was like, man, if I really was like in the Star Wars universe, I would be just traveling. Much like how if I had the money, i would be in America eating my way through the country.
Speaker: I would be in the galaxy like two bowls of whatever won't kill my species. Thank you. Smarter than the kids on Skeleton Crew. Just do what that guy is eating. now you don't Sounds disgusting. Where is it?
Speaker: And we meet Gina Carano playing Cara Dune. Oh, man, I'm sad. Gina Carano from whatever movies ah Mark Wahlberg and ah Mel Gibson's movie studio start putting out, I'm sure.
Speaker: And she's ah an ex-shock trooper, worked for the the Rebellion. So she's a good guy in this. And I don't know if we find find out this. i don't think it's this episode. We are going to find out that she's an Alderaan survivor.
Speaker: Oh, okay. forgot about that. Yeah, it's not this. The tear on her eye. It's called like the Tears of Alderaan or something like that. It's a signification that you survived it. Oh, okay. i thought I mean, you were off-world. Sorry. you it doesn't It makes it sound bad. It's like, you survived a planet exploding.
Speaker: No, you just weren't there. Okay. I thought maybe she just did some time and, like, that was from killing a dude. I mean, the Empire would have fucking picked her up. No problem, dude. Shock Troopers were badass.
Speaker: She kind of shows it here. i mean, she... So like Mando's questions, the lady that runs the place here about Cara Dune and she takes off. So he goes to track her down. I do like that. He's just giving this lady more money than she's ever seen. And it's not that much. Like when he gets to in the next episode, when he gets to Mos Eisley and he gives Palimoto way, way more than he gave this lady. And she's like, um yeah I guess you can park here.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. But this lady is like covering this will cover your spot. He's like, watch the baby. Here's a quarter. And she's like, holy fucking shit. All right. Good. Yes, sir. Yeah. You got it. I'll watch that baby. I'll fucking breastfeed that baby. I know you didn't ask.
Speaker: I'll do it. I have a thing for little green men. I knew it. Why do you think Yoda's on my casting couch?
Speaker: Short, colorful and handsome.
Speaker: so Yeah, he tracks her down and they have like a fight out in the alley and it's it's a good way of showing. Although we we haven't seen much of Mando yet at this point. There's only a great episode, but we know that he's tough.
Speaker: And it's a good way of showing how tough she is, because when they're fighting, she's hol not only holding her own. There's a point where she like flips him over and kicks him and face plants it like he falls face fine should be broken.
Speaker: Like, it was such a hard thing. It wasn't just like a pick up and slam. It was like a, quick yeah just a whip crack. Yeah, it's it's a pretty brutal fall. Yeah. it's I mean, without his armor, I think he'd be fucked, dude, because she's getting the blows in.
Speaker: Like, she's landing ah the haymakers and shit. Yeah. And we, again, of course, we hear in the background, look up, and here's little baby Yoda just sipping on some soup. Like, what are you guys doing? Thirsty for murder.
Speaker: I'm telling you. like he Because he he's got they've got their guns pointed at other, their point blank, and he's just like, I go with whoever wins this duel. I'll tell you what, dude. I just want to see somebody die.
Speaker: When you were disintegrating those Jawas, dope. Top-notch entertainment. Couldn't be happier. And it ends with him like, um ah do you want some soup? Can I buy some bone broth? That's not me hitting on you.
Speaker: I know it sounds weird if I ask you for a round of bone broth. ah Let get you some wet bone. Oh, wet bone. But yeah, so she thought he was a guild. She thought he was a guild member and he was tracking her.
Speaker: And i knew yeah she knew he was a guild member. Oh, that's true. She thought he was tracking her ah because we don't know exactly what happened. We just know that she's. She doesn't say on the run. She just says early retirement.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. So. And we're going to hear, you know, we do hear, she's talking about being a shock trooper, you know, and how they handled ah Imperial, lot of Imperial remnant warlords. So much like ah your boy, Werner Herzog, that's a type she would have been going after.
Speaker: yeah But then she said politics got involved and they started suppressing riots and, know, kind of doing police work and she's like that's not what I signed up for dude I'm not here to fucking fight civilians so I'm betting you that she knocked somebody out or worse took took down her commander or something yeah pri or some fucking senator you work for me you get out there and you go kill those civilians She just like, no, I don't think so. What how?
Speaker: And then ah Stoke and this other guy from the village come up to Mando and they're like, hey, can you come help us? He's like, what do I look like a mercenary? And they're like, yeah, exactly. um ah We don't get off planet and we've never seen anything that looks like you thinking you're a merc.
Speaker: I see lots of weapons or I see lots of armor and crates full of weapons. So I'm going to go with yes. Your religion is showing. It's 14 guns.
Speaker: And he's he's just like, nope, sorry, he can't help you. And i i just love that the way they bitch about it. It's almost like baiting him, but they don't know. He's like, well, I guess we have to go all the way back home to the middle of nowhere. and he's like, wait, what was that now?
Speaker: We're gonna just going to go back and drink homemade Spotska with all these hot tribal chicks. I mean, ah it's going to be fucking terrible. You know that on Sundays they actually just give out handjobs? They just give them out.
Speaker: Terrible. You to sit there and just take it. Then it gets even worse. They rub your feet and feed you chili. Can you believe it? Chili. Oyster crackers be damned.
Speaker: They put saltines in it. You believe this? They'll even top it off with cheese. You don't want to come back where I'm at, dude. Massages and chili all the time. You wouldn't be able to make it where I'm from.
Speaker: Oh, man. All those people are shitting their pants. Just eating chili all the time and then getting massages and getting all relaxed. What do you think is fertilizing these pawns? Just chili shits, man. Spotska and chili shits. And all of a sudden these bugs are growing things and think other things are happening. You got a bog.
Speaker: and whatever Whatever these bogs are. They say they harvest krill. I don't think it's the same as our krill. I don't think. No, that's quill. No, no, I was thinking they say krill, and I'm thinking earth krill.
Speaker: It's like little tiny microscopic shrimp things. I think it's close. They're just bigger. They're bigger and blue. Because i the kids are throwing at Baby Yoda later. Yeah. Okay. I was wondering. I think it is our krill.
Speaker: Just bigger bluer. Bigger and bluer. So, yeah, he grabs Cara Dune. hat is like shark fin.
Speaker: That's for later this month. Sorry. He grabs Cara Dune and asks her for help. So they go off. He's like, look, they don't have much to pay, but they can keep you, i don't know, safe from the middle of nowhere. We can chill here.
Speaker: yeah Because, I mean, there isn't a spaceport, but this is the closest. This is like a fucking ah Cracker Barrel, you know, just off the highway. This is a space Cracker Barrel. And so it's like, well, someone's eventually going to stop in here, you know, but no one's going to go to this remote-ass village.
Speaker: Yeah. So you go you go in in the inner-city Denny's instead of an off-the-highway Cracker Barrel.
Speaker: we We learn a little bit more about Mando and his mask because ah O'Mara starts asking him about it when he gets there. And he's like, I do like she's like, when's the last time you took that off? Yesterday?
Speaker: Yeah. Okay, let me rephrase that. When's the last time you took that off in front of a person? Oh. I was a baby. Like 30 years.
Speaker: i mean, we don't know how old Mando is. Yeah. but we have an idea of Pedro Pascal's age, so I mean. Well, and he says he wasn't much older than the kids who were out running around, so I mean, he is grown-ass adult, so even if he was 20 somehow...
Speaker: That'd still be like six, eight years since he's taken that thing off. Oh, these kids are younger than that. I'd say we're shooting minimum 10 years, but probably closer to 20 plus. She's a little upset about it. I think she just wants to see his face. She's like, you got a sexy voice.
Speaker: I like the armor. take Dude just takes it off and it's just the like most butter face. It's just Willem Dafoe making a crazy. Whoa, whoa, put it back on.
Speaker: Let's just get that. It's the comic book guy from Simpsons. yeah ah Worst Spachka ever. let's get that helmet right back on. Let's try helmet on, lights off. Have we tried that?
Speaker: Hair up, helmet on, lights off. think the hair's got to be up if you got a helmet on. The hair? that This is the way.
Speaker: I don't know. He's got a flight suit under there. if you It doesn't show it too, too much, but it's got like ah the neck and a hood going up. it's It's at the end when she starts to like take it off. You can see a little bit where it's coming up where there would be hair, but it's material.
Speaker: Yeah, okay. so He could have some hair. I'm just saying, man, Lawrence could have long hair. He does take his mask off, but they don't show his face here. He takes it off to eat. So close to everybody, though.
Speaker: All one of these kids got to do is be like, I saw him. I saw him, dude. He's got terrible facial hair, but he is cute. He's like, no, I was in the shadows. It's fine. Do you see that Mandalorian? He's got riz.
Speaker: That's right. The word riz has made it to this little back alley fucking planet. Oh, no. Sorry. They say whiz short for wizard. This guy is so whiz, dude. He has got mad whiz.
Speaker: It's short for wizarding skills. Even though Mando says it later, he's like, you know that word hasn't actually been cool since like 2001, right? that's maintain That hasn't been cool since BBY. That hasn't been cool since pod racing was a thing.
Speaker: Well, pod racing is not a thing? Devastated. I imagine people don't have time for pod racing during like you know, imperial occupations. No bread and circus.
Speaker: It's like the Coliseum, dude. Keep them happy. Feed them and give them entertainment. That's why our society is failing. They took away the circus and the bread is moldy. Continue. i was about to go on a fucking deep rant. Please talk Star Wars.
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Speaker: Come check us out. If you don't follow us, we will follow you. Home. So Cara Dune and Mando... ah formulate a plan they go off and start well first they go start tracking the clitoonians who the clitoonians i mean that's a much different face i think we saw one of those in starship troopers dude yeah yeah you just gotta gotta get never mind and they do discover that it has these guys have an atst and I wish to a doctor about that. I heard a good penicillin clear that write-up.
Speaker: I love the hard cut to back to the village, and Mando's just like, well, bad news. Can't live here no more. You guys have to go. And she's like, whoa, whoa, dude, bedside manner. Can you do better? I possibly couldn't do worse.
Speaker: Watch this. Y'all gots to go. Still better than how you fucking said it. She's like, look, I was here to help. They're like, because they all pissed. they're like, well, you said you would help us. She's like, yeah, before we found out about the Walker that you knew about and didn't tell us about.
Speaker: So there had to be an Imperial battle here at some point, because, I mean, you don't just steal this and then drop it off on another planet. Maybe the other side of the planet, but... That's what I'm thinking. These guys found it somewhere. Or, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker: These guys come across as, I mean, they're raiders in this, but they come across as pirates of a sort. So maybe they did get it from somewhere else. They got it from a junkyard or something. I almost think you'd have to be on this planet. This is a tough thing to move around. The Empire had special haulers for this.
Speaker: Or Gazanti-class cruiser. I guess, you know what? If I was a pirate, I would have me a Gazanti-class cruiser. That thing is a fucking stud of a ship. that's where you That's how you fit all your treasure.
Speaker: Exactly. If you have any. I mean, if Jude Law couldn't make a good pirate, what chance do I have? I don't have near as much whiz as him. Whiz.
Speaker: So they're they're all like, hey, we can help you. And she's like, no, no, you can't. We need actual like people who can fight, not just a bunch of fucking bumpkin farmers. And Mando is always the positive one, I guess.
Speaker: He's like, yeah, we could teach them. Yeah, they you guys can't fight like unless we teach them. and And she's like, we don't have enough time to teach them. And he's like, have you heard of a montage? Somebody play some Loggins.
Speaker: I'm all right. Ain't nobody shooting about me. So we have the training montage. I do like some of the stuff. There's a point where Cara Dune is training them with like these sticks they're using as spears.
Speaker: And the one guy is just doing it backward. ah She literally just has to take it from him and turn it around. Like she's telling like, oh, put your foot out forward. Do this. Stand up like that. And then she doesn't say anything to this guy. She just grabs the stick and flips it and hands it back to him.
Speaker: She because she knows that you're going be dead, dude. You're the first to go. I'm going to make sure I'm right behind you in battle. Operation Get Behind the Idiot. And then they also want to dig out one of these ponds and make it deeper so that the the AT-ST falls in, which will definitely go perfectly.
Speaker: Oh, you said her name. The. Yeah, O'Mara. She can fucking shoot. And we never hear anything else about this chick ever again. Spoiler for the series so far. I think that she's got like she's running from something too, right?
Speaker: Like maybe she was a a defected rebel or imperial because she's fucking shooting. Also, that's the same rifle that Bosk uses or Bosk is holding in episode five Empire Strikes Back.
Speaker: Yeah, because they ask who can shoot, and she's the only one who raises her hand. Alternative, though. When they do the target shooting, she's just fucking rocking shit. Yeah. So in my mind, she is an ex she's a defector of some side.
Speaker: Like the rebellion won, or this battle was over, and she just stayed. She lost her husband, but she was preggers. I got it. I'm sure the timelines don't match up. She's the little girl from Tales of the Underworld that's hanging out with the ex...
Speaker: um Separatist guy. Remember the guy? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's her. That timeline probably doesn't match up, but I don't care.
Speaker: Prove us wrong. It gives us someclu some conclusion, some, uh, a conclusion here to yeah to reach. So they sneak off to the cloutudian camp. like He's like, hey, and just so you know, when we come back, we're going coming in hot. So i I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but I'm going to complain a little bit.
Speaker: This could have been a very different scene. You didn't need to teach these these villagers shit. You put some of these bombs. You have a bunch of them. You put some of these bombs on the AT-ST, the penicillin bombs to get rid of the wipe that right up.
Speaker: And then you go around Predator Batman style because we see them do it by these two clatoonians right on the the campfire. They just fucking go in all neck snap, take them away. Just keep picking off people in their huts until you get enough of them dead. They run by the AT-ST, blow the bomb, AT-ST dead. a lot of those people dead. Just saying.
Speaker: Those guys were going to give up as soon as the AT-ST is gone. Yeah. Because that's that's their advantage, even though they've got guns and the farmers don't. but like yeah Well, the farmers do now, but they didn't.
Speaker: Luckily, you got a Mandalorian that keeps a fucking spare bedroom full of guns on his fucking razor crest. What's in the spare room? Spare room. That's the fucking rifle room, you idiot. you don't have a rifle room?
Speaker: Not everybody has a rifle room. Weird. But yeah, they do sneak around. I think their big mistake was they killed these dudes, but they didn't put them into the pile of hay that was conveniently placed there. so they should have weak it They should have, not weakened it, Bernice. They should have home-aloned them.
Speaker: Just put them on some string, like, rocking around the Christmas tree. ah Looks like our guards are still there. They're dancing very strangely, but they're still there. that Michael Jordan?
Speaker: they Michael Jordan guarding for us now? but Interesting. Not known for his defense.
Speaker: but he does have one of these detonators that he plants in this tent filled with vats of acid spot. Yeah. yeah I don't know. Cause she dips one of the dudes heads into it and it makes sizzly noises. I think it would be like an, a boiling ass open fermentation, but also you're fermenting with something crazier than what we use.
Speaker: Yeah. It would still hurt to have your, i mean, you know how hot beer gets. Oh yeah. Like that shit would hurt. Yeah. No. And I, I've, We have a friend who's been a guest on the podcast in the past who owns a brewery, and he's gotten himself some pretty bad burns from boiling water. Your fucking wife had those fucking raised up blisters on her back. Yeah, she had some, too.
Speaker: So I think about that. She got some, too. So I remember Mike. i remembered Mike getting him years ago. I forgot about Whitney getting him like like last year. yeah um But yeah, he sets one of the detonators, and then all these guys hear them, and they start fighting inside the tent, and there's this whole tussle.
Speaker: This thing, I was thinking, I was like, this isn't a very good bomb because it's actually beeping out loud. It's like... I think that was the music, right? I don't know because it kept going back to the thing and it was only when it was on the bomb that it was beeping.
Speaker: But I didn't feel like it was diegetic. Okay. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. I had almost like Carpenter vibes, but more, i don't know, Space Odyssey. Yeah.
Speaker: That would have been a crazy movie. Yeah. John Carpenter Space Odyssey. Two thousand and fun. He kind of did that. He did his first movie was called Dark Star. And it's like a. We talked about it. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. Not in detail, but. But yeah, the the one detonator goes off, of course, right before they get or right after they get out of the tent, takes all that shit out. oh After she Kool-Aid bands her way out.
Speaker: Yeah. Rad. And the AT-ST starts chasing them down. And this is the like scariest an AT-ST has been. Let's talk about that.
Speaker: the The drivers are hidden and the cabin has a red light on it in it that it just looks like two red eyes. And they do a really good job of making it personable for a machine.
Speaker: It was reminiscent to me of Rogue One. Remember, we're on the fuck they're on the beach of Scarif. And I think it was Baze Malba. One of them shoots a rocket launcher at the big AT-AT. ATAT, I don't care how you fucking say it.
Speaker: And like it hits its head and the fucking, the ATAT turns back and stares and it looks like it's ah it looks like a fucking animal and it's so personable when it does it. This is the same thing where it raises up like you fucking with my boys, dude. I'm a, I'm a squish you.
Speaker: That's it. Time for squishing. I've never seen a robot crack its neck like that. Well, because like I think our only real experience up to this point in the Star Wars world with these was ah mostly in Return of the Jedi.
Speaker: and live action? Absolutely. And they're supposed to be big, scary robots, but like they're always kind of silly. They have like the long, skinny legs and stuff. We call them robots, but they're vehicles. Well, yeah, I guess they're vehicles, not robots. but just We call them robots because this looks like one. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: They have a long skinny legs and they get so easily taken down by teddy bears. Like you forget that like this is a giant, terrifying machine of war. And here, because of advancements, obviously, in CG and stuff like that, this thing can just like stomp through the woods, just knocking trees out of the way. Yeah. Blasting at these guys. like I mean, this that what people forget or don't know, I guess what people don't know about that battle of Endor is those traps were existed to take out these giant city-sized animals that were terrorizing the Ewoks.
Speaker: Yes, they didn't look great. It looked like just a couple of fucking logs and shit, but like they were meant to take out things bigger than AT-STs. Oh, okay. I did not know that. Yeah. is that and one Is that one of those Ewoks movies?
Speaker: No, that's a book or a comic. I think it's a comic. I was like, i was like all I remember about either Ewoks movie is Wilford Brimley. and Okay. Oh, and there's a space witch.
Speaker: Yeah, definitely is. and I want to say they retconned her to make her a night sister now. Yeah, would make sense. Once somebody wrote a book about space witches, you're like, all right, yeah, she's one too. Let's go back into all of our stuff and make sure we have all the space witches being night sisters.
Speaker: and People also forget, dude, the Ewoks have to be fucking strong as shit. You see how they latch those buildings up there and they lift these logs? I think Ewoks are just these hulked up fucking things with teddy bear fur. ah You see how thick they are? Dang.
Speaker: And I know we want to talk about the Ewoks and stuff because we're already on this subject. And we didn't get to have our episode about Return of the Jedi. It's okay. It's just going to make it more rich. We're going to get there, though. I promise, folks. It's my hero.
Speaker: You'll hear us talk more about Ewoks then. Maybe I'll sexualize them like I did with ah um on what we were talking about. And or who knows? Maybe we can get somebody that we know to do the Ewok song with their band. Who knows?
Speaker: You have no. You have no. but um But yeah, so they the the villagers ready the ambush. Cara Dune and Mando come running in. And of course, the AT-ST comes up and stops right at the edge of this pond.
Speaker: And it's like... It has this vibe almost like, this doesn't seem like I should walk down Like, the people driving it are like, this seems like a trap. Yeah. but also, like, it doesn't make any sense. Cue Admiral Ackbar. That's a trap.
Speaker: Thank you. Whitney just did that over on the couch. Can't not, dude. We got one for the next episode, too. but um ah Star Wars loves its traps.
Speaker: It does. But so Cara Dune grabs Mando's big ass gun and goes out to start basically trying to lead this thing to pull it, to draw it forward into the trap.
Speaker: And get the farmers fighting the clatoonians. My only real complaint is that like, obviously this is happening at night, which is fine, but it's very hard to see. So you don't get to see a lot of actual action yeah other than what's going on with Cara Dune and the ATST.
Speaker: Yeah, I agree. Like as soon as all the farmers leave the barricades they've built where all the fire is. It's just people in the dark hitting other people in the dark.
Speaker: Every once in a while, the cloutudians have blasters, and that'll go off and light stuff up. but It's just a problem. not Not Star Wars specific. It's a problem we have in movies these days.
Speaker: yeah game a thrill I guess movies and TV do it a lot. It's a cheap trick. But, yeah, so the... The AT-ST finally gets pulled forward, falls into the hole. Mando runs out with this fucking big old thermal detonator, drops it in there.
Speaker: Big bada boom. Puts it right in the fucking red eye hole. Yeah. Yeah. Because she shoots it in the eye. Well, the equivalent of the eye window. I mean, we are treating it like it's got a personality. So go ahead. Because it kind of does.
Speaker: Yeah. um But it's a really cool action scene other than like there's lot of stuff being dark. It's very tense. Like now that we are three seasons in. You know that.
Speaker: everything's going to be fine because this is only the third episode. But when the show is first airing, you're like, okay, well, this is only eight episodes. I mean, who's going which characters they're introducing are going to live, which are going to die. Who's still going to be here?
Speaker: I like this Cara Dune lady. Is she about to get fucking splattered? Like you don't know what's going on. Don't get attached to her though. She doesn't, she doesn't die, but you need to just learn to say goodbye.
Speaker: Yeah. Don't get attached. I love that she turned around and like sued Disney and it's like, What's your end goal? Are you, you think you can sue them into putting you back in their show? Cause they won't.
Speaker: Not just to feel good about yourself. Yeah. To feel not good about yourself, to feel right. If you win, it's like, okay, cool, they were wrong, but we can't force them to cast you in anything. Right.
Speaker: If the courts could force them to cast her in anything, they'll just kill her in the first episode. I was just going to say, I would love it. They're like, all you're back in the show. Cara Dune gets blown up Alderaan style.
Speaker: Got it. Cara Dune leaves to take a shit. it would But the space toilet malfunctions and pulls her out. The space refresher, please. Malfunctions, pulls her insides out, spreads them across space.
Speaker: Space Minox. Pretty graphic for Disney, honestly. Space Minox come and feast on her rotting corpse. it's So it's going to be like fucking chef's death in South Park. Yeah, just keep stacking on and on and on. Yep. Like, this character is definitely dead. Yeah.
Speaker: But then They are victorious And It's like a couple weeks later We they cook we see the clatoonians in the background cooking Just kidding That would just be brutal and be awesome I'm tired of drinking this krill soup I want some fucking bulldog meat dude I am sorry Well, they I guess that wasn't here. That was the bigger quote unquote city.
Speaker: was like that lady said she killed a big something or other and had a bunch of bone broth. Like a Jengar. I looked it up. It was only for this show. She killed Dengar. Oh, no. Made him into soup.
Speaker: Yeah, it's a couple weeks later. Mando's like, we got to get the fuck out of Dodge. Like, I can't just stay around here. I'd like to, because she's she even says, she's like, what are you going to do, settle down here with your your ah farm wife and your little baby? Yeah, raise your children together.
Speaker: Because she's like, so what happens if you take your helmet off? Do people come kill you? He's like, no, you just can't put it back on ever again. She's like, okay. but take it off and start getting to farming.
Speaker: And I am talking about plowing. Yeah. Get that plow going. Oh, it's not that kind of farming. That's not what, you know what? Nevermind. ah But his big thing is he's like, I'm going to leave Grogu here. I'm going leave baby Yoda. Oh man. I hope you, I hope you don't cut to the camera of just you. Cause in the background right now, my cat's eyes were insane. She was just in the hallway in the dark looking and it was terrifying. I'm going see if she's doing it again.
Speaker: Is it Jawa in your house? Houtini!
Speaker: But yeah, he's like, I'm going to leave ah the baby here. He's happy. He'll be safe here. going to get the fuck out of here because people are looking for me. Yeah. It's a life on the road, man.
Speaker: You shouldn't be with this guy. Well, while this is going on, we've got this fucking gas mask bounty hunter coming through the woods. ah We saw this alien race in episode four. It is a Kubaz.
Speaker: or Kubaz. I you would know. K-U-B-A-Z. They have like that elephant trunk kind of thing. It was on Mos Eisley. Had the little fucking scanner reported to the Empire. Yeah, I know I've seen them before. i didn't remember exactly what that what it was from, but I was like, i was like I'm just going to say gas mask guy. Jack will know.
Speaker: I actually did. This is one I didn't have to look up at all. There is something with their anatomy that makes them like really good spies and like bounty hunter types. i like Something with their anatomy. I just can't remember what it is right now.
Speaker: Whenever they orgasm, they turn invisible. Oh, my God. like, are you jacking off in the corner? no I'm just trying to get out of here. Trying to sneak out. Oh, man, I snuck out earlier, so it's going to take me longer to sneak out this time. And the problem is, once I sneak out, I get really sleepy, so I've to not fall asleep. Otherwise, I wake up naked in weird place again.
Speaker: He's got a fob, and we think it's Fernando. But while while Mando's talking to O'Mara and she's trying to talk him into staying and she tries to take off his helmet and he's like, no, go fuck yourself.
Speaker: He's like, you're kind of hot, but not that hot. I can still bang you with this on. Don't worry, baby. I'm not giving up my whole religion for you.
Speaker: um But the bounty hunter ends up aiming at the baby. Groger. And you hear the big laser blast. And it took me a second because it's been a while since I watched this. And I was like, well, how does he get out of that one?
Speaker: And then immediately I was like, oh, that's right. Cara Dunes, she sneaks up and shoots the bounty hunter. It's just like episode one with the IG unit. It's the same thing where we heard the gunshot at Grogu.
Speaker: It's yeah <unk> a good trick. They're repeating it. Oh, and I figured I found out how fobs work. I did some research. It is the chain code. um It gets louder as you get closer and then it ah beeps for confirmation. But it's basically like having your DNA, but you need to get close enough.
Speaker: Okay. Like people that are on Navarro would not be able to sense it's here. So somebody was banging around trying to, wherever this is out of room or otherwise, somebody was this, this Kuba's was close enough.
Speaker: Because that'll that makes the next episode a little more confusing. We'll talk about that when we get there. Mm hmm. With that Toro Kakaraki and fuck Toro Kakaraki and collect attack in.
Speaker: But so they're like, oh shit. Well, that means like he looks at the fob. He's like, this was definitely for the baby, not for me, which means that more people are going to be coming. So I can't leave him here on this idyllic farm world to be happy.
Speaker: Yeah. I got to take him into space and do some laser stuff, do some bounty hunting. So that's the end of the episode. It's a good one.
Speaker: That's a great one, dude. I mean, we got cool cool Star Wars scenery, AT-ST, decent little battle. um I like biodomes, you know, or biomes, I mean.
Speaker: Like, I love a good Star Wars biome, and it's just another really good really cool one. We get to introduce me to Cara Dune, who at the time is a fucking badass. I really liked her character. There's a...
Speaker: Is it a VR thing? That's like a Star Wars biomes thing. And you can like explore. They have a little s thing on Disney Plus. It's not nearly long. oh Maybe that's what it was. That's what I'm thinking of. It's on Disney Plus. it needs to be better. oh we saw a loaf cat in this too.
Speaker: And it got me thinking. Oh yeah. that just cats around space? And we just call loaf cat because it's a cat there. So is this like a, is it was is there like a Navarro cat? Or they're like an invasive species. Someone takes it somewhere and now like... I started wormholing about that because we know what that's like on on Earth.
Speaker: Like, ah what is it? New Zealand has a tremendous cat problem. was it so it does But it's like people got introduced introduced it. It would be so much different in Star Wars. It'd be on a devastating level.
Speaker: Yeah, or like the down we were down on the Cayman Islands. I was like, there's just chickens. Everywhere and it's not even like people own these chickens. They're like pigeons. They seem to have a barbecue.
Speaker: There was a dude like going to throw away trash at this restaurant and he like tossed it in a trash can and a fucking chicken came out and I was like what is happening in this in this island can't believe that's a story I didn't hear from your vacation that's tremendous tell me about trash chickens ah but that's it for this week's episode we'll be back next week talking about episode or chapter five the gunslinger and I was kind of disappointed but also happy when I realized I had the wrong episode in my head Okay.
Speaker: But we'll get there. Thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you. Thank you. I've been Derek. I'm Jack.
Speaker: Space words. go ah You are seriously lacking in the whiz department. I had something earlier and I totally. i guarantee you it was not worse than space words.
Speaker: Do you want to try it? It couldn't possibly be worse than space words. Yeah. That's what you came out with, space words?
Speaker: You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. In space. Try my bone broth. Whatever. Wizard. Wizard.
Speaker: So if Derek was here, he'd probably say something smart and plot filled. I don't know what that is. So I'm going to do a voice of Ray Ramado. Oh, Deborah, pass the Sponchka.
Speaker: My mother and father are coming over.
Speaker: ah my brother can't fit inside the Razor Crest. He hits his head.
Speaker: So they are victorious. Rayman. like I can't not. Space Rayman. Space Rayman.
