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Jonah The Bad Built Bear Can’t Handle A Baddie
23 Plays2 years ago
Jonah Hill's Surfer ex-girlfriend reveals his emotionally abusive texts. Roasting this scrote + support & clarity for Sarah Brady and women like her.
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Transcript
Scandal and Accusations
00:00:05
Speaker
What's up queens?
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet I'm real.
00:00:14
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
00:00:15
Speaker
All right, so today's topic.
00:00:18
Speaker
Yes, just what I think, like I always wonder if I will ever have things to run out of on this podcast because we were planning a completely different episode to record today, but men are just a gift that just keep on giving content to this podcast because I
00:00:35
Speaker
woke up to a scandal that was erupting surrounding Jonah Hill and his ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady, who has openly accused him of emotional and narcissistic abuse.
00:00:49
Speaker
And what I found the most interesting about this entire thing, obviously I hope that Sarah is okay, coming forward about this is, believe it or not, is not easy, especially if you're a woman because you just get attacked left, right and centre from both men and women.
00:01:05
Speaker
But what I found most interesting about the discourse, which I witnessed on Twitter, was the reactions from men in particular.
00:01:13
Speaker
So for those who aren't familiar, Sarah and Jonah dated quite a while ago.
00:01:17
Speaker
And what was interesting to note was their age gap.
00:01:19
Speaker
She was about 24 and he was in his mid-30s when they dated, which to me is already a red flag.
00:01:26
Speaker
Let's start there, right?
00:01:28
Speaker
Like that's already a red flag.
00:01:29
Speaker
This is why we're pretty much against age gaps, especially if one of the parties is under 25.
00:01:35
Speaker
I mean...
00:01:37
Speaker
when you're both over 30 or at least like in your late 20s, early 30s, then it's a little bit less of an issue.
00:01:43
Speaker
Like it basically, anybody who tries to date you when you're under 25, especially if they're over 30, is a massive, massive red flag.
00:01:50
Speaker
I would even say like if you're under 23, I wouldn't go more than three to four years older than you at that point.
00:01:56
Speaker
Because every guy who's in his 30s that wants to date women in their early to mid 20s, it's because of this exact dynamic.
00:02:03
Speaker
Because they know that women this age are
00:02:05
Speaker
are less likely to assert their boundaries.
00:02:08
Speaker
And I think a lot of their emotional abuse and control issues are normal.
00:02:11
Speaker
So yeah, so already, like, he's way too old for her.
00:02:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:16
Speaker
It seems like about, they're just in different places, like, you know, Rose said in terms of life experience as well.
Film Roles and Public Image
00:02:22
Speaker
He's quite established in Hollywood, has quite a successful career.
00:02:25
Speaker
It seems like Sarah is just starting out herself in her career.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah, and he's bad built and ugly.
00:02:32
Speaker
So...
00:02:34
Speaker
Every picture of Jonah Hill looks like he's been left out in the sun to bake into a leathery, scrotie, like greasy mess.
00:02:42
Speaker
I almost can't describe what he looks like.
00:02:45
Speaker
He looks like a shaved, oiled down, sickly bear is the best way I can describe how he looks recently.
00:02:51
Speaker
The worst.
00:02:52
Speaker
I do think though with Jonah Hill, it seemed like he was perhaps a guy who didn't get a lot of attention growing up because he went through like a glow up phase where he lost like a shed load of weight.
00:03:03
Speaker
And a few years back, he wrote an open letter to the media saying, please don't comment on my looks on my weight because it's not helping my mental health and all that, you know, jazz.
00:03:12
Speaker
So I do think like he was one of those guys who just got overlooked and
00:03:16
Speaker
He lost a bunch of weight and then looks like he gained it all back.
00:03:19
Speaker
I haven't seen him recently.
00:03:20
Speaker
I don't really follow Jonah Hill as a celebrity.
00:03:23
Speaker
I don't really follow any celebrities in general, but particularly him.
00:03:26
Speaker
So I'm not really sure what he looks like now.
00:03:28
Speaker
But yeah, he did get quite slim at one point.
00:03:30
Speaker
I know that.
00:03:30
Speaker
And he seems a bit bigger now.
00:03:32
Speaker
So...
00:03:32
Speaker
He came onto the scene as part of a movie called Superbad some years ago.
00:03:37
Speaker
And in that movie, he was, the whole character arc is like, he's this kind of big overweight guy that's like dying to talk to girls.
00:03:43
Speaker
And that movie itself is pretty problematic.
00:03:46
Speaker
And I think through a 2023 critical lens of the movie, it's really date rapey because it's basically about these two guys trying to get this girl, they have a crush on drunk.
00:03:53
Speaker
So they have a chance to hook up with her, which is extra problematic and normalizes things like date rape.
00:03:58
Speaker
So yeah,
00:03:58
Speaker
But he came into Hollywood, or at least his first big Hollywood vehicle was a Seth Rogen movie where he's basically a borderline date rapist.
00:04:06
Speaker
And then all the characters he plays after that are kind of like lovable sleazebags, I suppose.
00:04:10
Speaker
Or at least they're supposed to be like sympathetic sleazebags.
00:04:13
Speaker
So you had his role in The Wolf of Wall Street.
00:04:15
Speaker
He also had a cameo in Django Unchained.
00:04:18
Speaker
Ooh, I'm trying to remember.
00:04:19
Speaker
Who was he in Django?
00:04:21
Speaker
I'm not sure if you've watched the film, but you know the scene where they wanted to ambush Django and his owner, Dr. Schultz, and they were riding out as the KKK.
00:04:32
Speaker
It was like an uncredited cameo, I think.
00:04:34
Speaker
But yeah, he's in that scene.
00:04:36
Speaker
Oh, I do remember that.
00:04:37
Speaker
Yeah, I remember that scene.
00:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, but they were like, I can't see fucking shit out of this thing.
00:04:41
Speaker
Like that scene.
00:04:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:43
Speaker
Yeah, every picture of him, he just looks like a lost, bewildered grizzly bear.
00:04:48
Speaker
And he gives off pussy scavenger vibes
Controlling Behavior Exposed
00:04:50
Speaker
as well.
00:04:50
Speaker
Like, dude, oh, yes.
00:04:53
Speaker
Pussy scavenger vibes.
00:04:54
Speaker
Maybe if that was because, you know, Wolf of Wall Street, that was his sort of character when he was following around Jordan Belfort, like Leonardo DiCaprio's character.
00:05:03
Speaker
But yeah, he just gave off pussy scavenger.
00:05:06
Speaker
Yeah, that character in the Wolf of Wall Street is a perfect example of a pussy scavenger.
00:05:14
Speaker
Pussy scavenger energy, my dude.
00:05:16
Speaker
Just the worst type of guys.
00:05:18
Speaker
Like their energy is just so repulsive.
00:05:20
Speaker
And they know it.
00:05:20
Speaker
They know they're like viscerally repulsive to women, which is why they have to do like the pussy scavenge tactic.
00:05:27
Speaker
Sarah posted screenshots from their conversation on her Instagram story.
00:05:32
Speaker
And the first screenshot is basically him asking her, Sarah is an athlete and a surfer by trade.
00:05:40
Speaker
Seems like she teaches people how to surf.
00:05:42
Speaker
And obviously people who surf, they tend to be in bikinis, which is par for the course, I guess, for that sort of profession.
00:05:50
Speaker
Yeah, she's a surfer.
00:05:50
Speaker
That's what makes this entire thing bizarre, right?
00:05:53
Speaker
It's like, it's not, that's her profession.
00:05:55
Speaker
So how are you going to tell her like she can't pose in bikinis?
00:05:58
Speaker
And he knew that when they first started dating because she also shared a screenshot of him liking or like loving a picture on her Instagram where, you know, she was in a bikini and her butt was to the camera.
00:06:09
Speaker
So he sort of knew what her Instagram was all about.
00:06:13
Speaker
And so he basically tells her to remove the videos of her in a bikini.
00:06:17
Speaker
And she sort of, you know, pushes back on it a bit when she says, but, you know, one of the videos you're asking me to remove is like my best surfing video.
00:06:26
Speaker
And she tries to placate him by saying, you know, would you feel better if the cover frame was different?
00:06:31
Speaker
I'm guessing it was too provocative for his liking.
00:06:33
Speaker
And he said, you know, yeah, I don't basically want, you know, your ass in the thong as the cover frame.
00:06:39
Speaker
So there's that.
00:06:40
Speaker
And she then shares a screenshot.
00:06:43
Speaker
There's basically a laundry list of things that,
00:06:46
Speaker
He tries to frame it as his boundaries, but this is the beginning or elements of coercive control.
00:06:53
Speaker
And Sarah makes it very clear that Jonah used his time in therapy to basically manipulate her into doing what he wanted under the guise of having boundaries when really this is just control.
00:07:04
Speaker
So he says, plain and simple, if you need to be surfing with men, boundaryless, inappropriate friendships with men, to model, to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit, to post sexual pictures, to have friendships with women who were in unstable places and from your wild recent past, beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful, then I'm not the right partner for you.
00:07:28
Speaker
If these things bring you to a place of happiness, I support it and there will be no hard feelings.
00:07:32
Speaker
These are my boundaries for romantic relationship.
00:07:35
Speaker
Let's address the weasel words here.
00:07:37
Speaker
Like that's the control you expect to have on another person.
00:07:41
Speaker
A boundary is something, is a line you draw for how people treat you.
00:07:44
Speaker
Let's be clear about that.
00:07:46
Speaker
So I don't like the projection of behaviors he wishes his partner would display as a discussion of like what his boundaries are.
00:07:54
Speaker
No, your boundaries are how you want to be treated by someone.
00:07:57
Speaker
Someone else's boundaries is how they want to be treated by you, right?
00:08:01
Speaker
So basically, this entire like rant is him saying like, okay, you can't do any of these things if you're going to be together with me.
00:08:07
Speaker
But it's like that was already who she more or less was before they got together.
00:08:11
Speaker
It was like a nebulous discussion about what inappropriate friendships with men is, right?
00:08:15
Speaker
And like, it's outrageous to be like, oh, you can't surf with men when you're a surf instructor.
00:08:19
Speaker
That's your entire bread and butter.
00:08:21
Speaker
And that you can't post any like pictures of yourself in a bathing suit
Imbalance and Manipulation
00:08:24
Speaker
online.
00:08:24
Speaker
Like that's fully crazy.
00:08:25
Speaker
This is what I'm saying.
00:08:26
Speaker
You can't give ugly dudes pussy.
00:08:27
Speaker
They can't handle it.
00:08:28
Speaker
And I don't mean that to be funny.
00:08:29
Speaker
I mean that like in a genuine way.
00:08:31
Speaker
And I'm not saying like, okay, that there's not any place to have like some limits on how you behave with other people.
00:08:38
Speaker
If you're in a relationship, it's not like
00:08:40
Speaker
she's just like an Instagram model, even though I would support her if she was just a model and just wanted to take sexy pictures, because that's more or less like how a lot of them get booked for jobs is they take like pictures in various scenarios, but she is like a surf instructor.
00:08:54
Speaker
So she's got to actually get clients, right?
00:08:56
Speaker
Like she's actually got to get people that want to work with her.
00:09:00
Speaker
And also just imagine if she had said to him, you know, if you need to act in a film with a woman, you
00:09:07
Speaker
or act in a scene with a woman, I don't want a relationship with you.
00:09:10
Speaker
Like people would be saying that that is unreasonable and controlling and they would be right because that is his profession.
00:09:16
Speaker
So for him to even say surfing with men full stop is just wild and unacceptable.
00:09:22
Speaker
I basically read the whole text out and I basically got to the point where he said, I'm not the right partner for you.
00:09:26
Speaker
He continues in this text, like, my bond with you based on the ways these actions have hurt our trust.
00:09:31
Speaker
I'm like, what trust?
00:09:32
Speaker
I'm trying to think of like where there would have been.
00:09:35
Speaker
If there was something that she was doing that was actually a pretty disrespectful thing to him in particular that was outside of the norms of her job or who she was before they got in the relationship, it's definitely not illustrated here in any type of way.
00:09:49
Speaker
Meaning like, it doesn't even say that she was like flirting with some guy.
00:09:52
Speaker
He just already has this like paranoid attitude
00:09:54
Speaker
I think he's just projecting his insecurities onto her, right?
00:09:58
Speaker
He's projecting onto her.
00:09:59
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:10:01
Speaker
Because it would make more sense if he was like, because you've done X in the past.
00:10:05
Speaker
I mean, bearing in mind they are screenshots, so maybe she didn't reveal all of them.
00:10:09
Speaker
But from what is revealed, which is what will go off, he didn't make any sort of allegation that she'd done something untoward.
00:10:17
Speaker
He's just saying that this is all about my feelings.
00:10:19
Speaker
You would respect that.
00:10:20
Speaker
If you want to be with me, this is how it's going to be sort of thing.
00:10:23
Speaker
And again, if that couples with the fact that Jonah Hill, he's probably not only a pussy scavenger and Wolf of Wall Street, but he seems to be the sort of guy that just didn't get either any female attention or the female attention that he thought he deserved growing up and probably as an adult because of the way he looks, you know, that sort of tracks in my mind.
00:10:42
Speaker
Yeah, he's insecure.
00:10:43
Speaker
And again, there's nothing here that suggests that she was doing anything inappropriate in that like he doesn't have any like specific examples, etc.
00:10:51
Speaker
And then furthermore, she goes on to show other direct messages that she got for him before they started dating of him like DMing her hearts and stuff of her surfing videos, right?
00:11:01
Speaker
So she has a bunch of videos
Body Control and Double Standards
00:11:02
Speaker
of her surfing.
00:11:03
Speaker
And like he's like all thirsty in her DMs about it.
00:11:06
Speaker
And what's funny about that is like, why do a 180 once you get with a woman and be like, you can't be who you are.
00:11:11
Speaker
It's just another example of a type of coercive control.
00:11:14
Speaker
A lot of men exercise that like they like who you are.
00:11:17
Speaker
They want to be with you when you're a certain way and then instantly want to control you to bring you down to be someone you're not actually because they feel both attracted to and threatened by who you are.
00:11:27
Speaker
And I'm like, if you can't handle a baddie, don't date a baddie.
00:11:30
Speaker
Like you're not her status, man.
00:11:32
Speaker
Like that's what it is.
00:11:33
Speaker
And you know what's also quite galling?
00:11:36
Speaker
I really hate when men date substantially younger women, but I have a different level of contempt for men who will date, you know, women who are much younger than them and then complain that they are immature or that they're not acting a certain way or older than their years.
00:11:52
Speaker
So we'll get to that part.
00:11:54
Speaker
But just like I'm looking at her at her Instagram right now, there is nothing that's overtly sexual about her pictures, right?
00:12:02
Speaker
Like she has like maybe one or two that look kind of like thirst traps.
00:12:05
Speaker
But the vast majority of her pictures, she's wearing a wetsuit, a one piece.
00:12:10
Speaker
She has like a two piece and some, but they're not like string bikinis.
00:12:13
Speaker
It's just like
00:12:14
Speaker
It's literally like surfing gear, right?
00:12:16
Speaker
It's not overtly sexual.
00:12:17
Speaker
It's not like the, oh, I'm going to pretend like I'm innocently putting my ass up to the camera.
00:12:22
Speaker
It's nothing like that.
00:12:24
Speaker
I mean, it's very clear like she takes her profession seriously and this is like a thing that she loves to do.
00:12:30
Speaker
It just seems pretty insane to me that he's acting like this.
00:12:34
Speaker
Like there's not even a reason for, I think from looking at her Instagram to believe that this is just like her necessarily like a thirst trapping or attention seeking on purpose, right?
00:12:42
Speaker
Which means it's just like a figment of his full on paranoid imagination.
00:12:45
Speaker
And even if she was thirst trapping and attention seeking on purpose, that's still her Instagram page.
00:12:50
Speaker
Like that's who she is.
00:12:51
Speaker
So cry more, right?
00:12:53
Speaker
Like men just, they want these women, but they don't want the competition.
00:12:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:56
Speaker
100%.
00:12:56
Speaker
And I feel like he is, again, projecting because notice how, as you mentioned before, you know, I guess either during their relationship or before they got together, he liked the very same pictures or the very same kind of picture he's now telling her to take down because it's too sexual.
00:13:12
Speaker
And it's not.
00:13:13
Speaker
That's what's wild about it.
00:13:13
Speaker
Like, it's literally her on a bunch of boards.
00:13:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:17
Speaker
It's literally not.
00:13:18
Speaker
So that just goes to show probably how porn sick he is.
00:13:21
Speaker
And, you know, make no mistake about it.
00:13:23
Speaker
There's guys, for example, like who are fitness instructors and all they do is like post thirst traps themselves on Instagram in order to get more clients.
00:13:30
Speaker
And nobody really like goes in on men for being...
00:13:34
Speaker
attractive on the internet are trying to do, right?
00:13:36
Speaker
Like no one thinks like, oh, this is so disrespectful of your relationship.
00:13:39
Speaker
It's wild to me.
00:13:40
Speaker
Like women just existing in our bodies, if you're attractive in any way, is offensive to men, but you don't really see the opposite.
00:13:47
Speaker
People would call a woman crazy if she told a guy, don't put shirtless pictures of online.
00:13:51
Speaker
Like especially a guy who's a fitness instructor or like a swim instructor or something who...
00:13:56
Speaker
works out a lot, obviously.
00:13:57
Speaker
And then be like, oh, we're in a relationship.
00:13:59
Speaker
So you can't put pictures of you shirtless online.
00:14:02
Speaker
They'd be like, oh, you're fucking insane.
00:14:04
Speaker
I'm at the beach.
00:14:05
Speaker
Why wouldn't I have my shirt off?
00:14:06
Speaker
Or I'm a swim instructor.
00:14:08
Speaker
Or I'm a fitness.
00:14:09
Speaker
I'm a personal trainer.
00:14:11
Speaker
Of course, I need to show off the fact that I'm fit.
00:14:13
Speaker
So it's just kind of insane because you would just never see the reverse or society tolerate the reverse.
00:14:19
Speaker
And if we were to tell men who were in relationships to suddenly... And who had jobs that were based on their body or their fitness to be
00:14:25
Speaker
be like, oh, you have to actually cover up.
00:14:27
Speaker
Otherwise it's disrespectful.
00:14:28
Speaker
And also make no mistake about it as well.
00:14:31
Speaker
Like you don't have to be in a bikini before a man will sexualize you.
00:14:35
Speaker
Like I'm quite a busty woman.
00:14:38
Speaker
And even when I've worn dresses from my neck,
00:14:41
Speaker
down to my knees like a guy will still sexualize you and this is a male problem it's not like I'm you know dressing provocatively it isn't about the bikini it's basically what I'm trying to say it's just about control because I'm sure if she was dressed in the wetsuit he would have had a problem with that as well
00:14:59
Speaker
Yeah, you can't do nothing about them to go, baby.
00:15:01
Speaker
It's not your fault.
00:15:02
Speaker
That's just the unfortunate reality of having certain developed assets, right?
00:15:07
Speaker
I mean, it's just such a minefield.
00:15:09
Speaker
And I know we were going to do this on the Patreon in one of our career series about dressing for work.
00:15:13
Speaker
It is such a minefield if you're a woman and you have any type of...
00:15:18
Speaker
I don't know how to say it because it's like, but any type of like large asset, I suppose, like large breasts, large behind, anything that people would consider sexual, which is really, really out of your control, unless you went and got a BBL or breast implants or something.
00:15:34
Speaker
But for most women, the size of their breasts, the size of their ass, that's out of their control, right?
00:15:40
Speaker
But people treat those women, even if they're wearing the same things as other women, like it's their fault.
00:15:46
Speaker
And so especially men who feel like, oh, well, you're a problem for looking like that.
00:15:50
Speaker
And pretty much every year, some teacher or nurse goes viral because like she's stacked and everyone's like, is it appropriate for her to be wearing this to work?
00:15:58
Speaker
And they just have on regular scrubs or a jeans and a t-shirt.
00:16:01
Speaker
And it's just like...
00:16:03
Speaker
What else is she supposed to wear?
00:16:04
Speaker
Like she has like gigantic boobs.
00:16:06
Speaker
Isn't like we can like just like detach or like take off our boobs and leave them at home when we go to work, even though that would be nice.
00:16:13
Speaker
Put your titties in a case for safekeeping.
00:16:16
Speaker
Yeah, it's just, ugh.
00:16:18
Speaker
I'd throw my titties in the back of the closet, pick them up after work.
00:16:22
Speaker
It would make getting dressed for work so much as of a mind fold.
00:16:25
Speaker
But yeah, what I'm trying to say is like, this isn't about the bikini at all.
00:16:28
Speaker
It's just about his control.
00:16:30
Speaker
And what was also, I guess, interesting about this discourse for me, but not surprising, is the number of men who agreed that
00:16:39
Speaker
he's allowed to have these standards.
00:16:41
Speaker
Bearing in mind the same men who are, you know, screeching that he has a right to demand these very unreasonable expectations from his much younger girlfriend.
00:16:51
Speaker
These are the same men that will call women crazy for not wanting to date a guy who's a porn addict.
00:16:57
Speaker
or expecting, you know, their partner to not watch porn or to not check out other women.
00:17:01
Speaker
These are going to be gaslit and told, oh, but it's normal for your partner to fantasize.
00:17:06
Speaker
Doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, but he still comes home to you, still sleeps with you.
00:17:10
Speaker
It's normal to have fantasies.
00:17:12
Speaker
But when Jonah Hill is basically telling his girlfriend, you know, what to wear, who she can hang out with and demanding that she curate her Instagram, even though there's nothing wrong with it, that's all okay.
Unrealistic Standards and Therapy Critique
00:17:24
Speaker
That's just him setting boundaries.
00:17:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:26
Speaker
And there's a picture here of her and she's wearing like a white skirt and a top and there's like a tiny bit of side boob, I suppose.
00:17:33
Speaker
And then she uploaded it and said, reviving a pic I took down by request of a misogynist narcissist.
00:17:39
Speaker
I get this is before it was like revealed that she was talking about Jonah Hill.
00:17:43
Speaker
But yeah, the picture is like super normal, man.
00:17:46
Speaker
So if he's freaking out about this, like I said, don't date attractive women.
00:17:50
Speaker
I think this is a thing with guys like this.
00:17:51
Speaker
She's much younger than him.
00:17:53
Speaker
He's not that attractive.
00:17:55
Speaker
She's probably out of his league and he knows it.
00:17:57
Speaker
What they do is they try to get with women like this and like neg their self-esteem down to a small little minuscule thing.
00:18:03
Speaker
little P so that they're just basically a complete shell of their formal self to make sure that they can keep them under their control.
00:18:10
Speaker
And it's just a really ugly thing that a lot of men do.
00:18:13
Speaker
Ugly men do this.
00:18:14
Speaker
Attractive men do this too.
00:18:15
Speaker
But it's an ugly thing that a lot of men do in order to keep women under their control.
00:18:20
Speaker
I remember when Raven did an interview and she said SK did the same thing to her.
00:18:25
Speaker
So obviously SK is all about her makeup.
00:18:28
Speaker
She's an Insta baddie.
00:18:30
Speaker
Right.
00:18:31
Speaker
Medium ugly SK.
00:18:33
Speaker
I don't even think like media, I think even like medium ugly is generous, but that's just me.
00:18:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:40
Speaker
You know, Raven said that he used to neg her, used to neg her makeup, what she wore, basically telling her, oh, you wear too much makeup, stop doing it.
00:18:48
Speaker
And bless her, she even said that really affected her self-esteem because the way these guys do it is that just like Jonah Hill, they dress it up
00:18:56
Speaker
You know, there's one of two ways they'll dress it up.
00:18:57
Speaker
They'll either dress it up in a therapy speak.
00:19:00
Speaker
So what Jonah Hill did was basically weaponised, you know, therapy speak, such as having boundaries.
00:19:06
Speaker
And several therapists on Twitter have come out and said that this is not what a boundary is and this is not what a boundary is supposed to do.
00:19:13
Speaker
Or they will dress it up as almost like a faux concern.
00:19:18
Speaker
And pin in that, because we have to get back to the therapy portion, what the therapist told Sarah.
00:19:24
Speaker
Sarah went to couples therapy with Jonah Hill.
00:19:26
Speaker
Oh, I didn't know this.
00:19:27
Speaker
I did not know this.
00:19:28
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:19:29
Speaker
These are the craziest things ever.
00:19:30
Speaker
This is actually pretty juicy.
00:19:32
Speaker
So...
00:19:33
Speaker
apparently her and jonah went to couples therapy and sarah posts an instagram story where she shows the text message that she sends to a friend about what the couples therapist said she says she quote being our couples therapist at the time and then the screenshot says uh she the therapist had me agree to paddle away from any man that approached me in the water no matter his age i was instructed to say i'm going to go talk to my boyfriend and then paddle away what
00:19:57
Speaker
And then her friend responds like, that makes me want to go stab someone.
00:20:00
Speaker
Wow.
00:20:00
Speaker
Who is this therapist?
00:20:01
Speaker
What she was like enabling his possessiveness, isolation and jealousness.
00:20:05
Speaker
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
00:20:06
Speaker
And then Sarah was like, yes.
00:20:07
Speaker
And then her friends like that must have made you feel crazy.
00:20:10
Speaker
Having a licensed professional tell you not to talk to other men to keep your boyfriend from not acting like a fucking baby.
00:20:16
Speaker
Next, she instructed us to come up with a safe word for when Jonah was yelling at me and it was pineapple.
00:20:22
Speaker
So this is so fucking wild.
00:20:25
Speaker
So whenever she was surfing somewhere and a guy came up to her, she was supposed to paddle away right away and yell pineapple as a safe word.
00:20:32
Speaker
I'm like, that's fucking insane.
00:20:33
Speaker
Isn't that crazy?
00:20:35
Speaker
That's wild.
00:20:36
Speaker
So she had to basically paddle away from men if they came up to her.
00:20:40
Speaker
Oh, for sure.
00:20:41
Speaker
Any guy that talked to her, she had to like legit do an about face.
00:20:44
Speaker
Coercive control.
00:20:45
Speaker
That's what that is.
00:20:46
Speaker
That's jealousy, isolation.
00:20:48
Speaker
Listen, I'm not saying, you know, if you're in a relationship, you should sit there and like take that guy's number and be hanging all over him.
00:20:53
Speaker
But if somebody just talks to you, I mean, I feel like your partner trusts you and you in your ability to compose yourself and handle yourself with the opposite sex or they don't.
00:21:02
Speaker
It was so wild.
00:21:03
Speaker
It's like reading these texts and feeling like somewhat triggered.
00:21:06
Speaker
And this is why we've talked about how therapy can a lot of times, a lot of therapists have like their own ideological bend and they can be really indoctrinated into certain types of cultural values, specifically misogyny, specifically patriarchy.
00:21:21
Speaker
But this kind of conversation is so wild.
00:21:23
Speaker
Very similar to the type of marital advice I would hear in like Christian circles and relationship circles where it's just always constant projection and bullying of the woman to thwart whatever type of paranoid, angry, controlling possesses the jealousy the guy has in the relationship.
00:21:38
Speaker
And it's just shit.
00:21:39
Speaker
And it's like when I look back at a lot of my relationships that I had.
00:21:44
Speaker
especially actually yeah around her age like around like 24 25 it was so similar and that everybody makes you feel that you existing as a young woman is a problem and because they feel like the men have the right to just control who you are and what you're doing and everything you do they have a right to nitpick as because you're their girl right and it's just like it's
00:22:04
Speaker
often the type of thing that's just supported by an entire community.
00:22:07
Speaker
And this is why guys get away with this kind of thing.
00:22:09
Speaker
And this is why there's so many therapists, at least there used to be anyways, that would just support this kind of nonsense and gaslight women into taking having to like be a shell of their former selves is the best way I can describe it, or try to really dim their light or not be who they are, not do things they enjoy, not, you know, exist in the world as a human being, not do a job like this, because it's going to be threatening to the man.
00:22:32
Speaker
right?
00:22:32
Speaker
We teach girls to shrink themselves.
00:22:34
Speaker
Like as Chimimanda added, Chimimanda Egozi Adichie said that, that we teach girls to shrink themselves so that they don't threaten the men and that they should pursue marriage or the approval of men first and foremost.
00:22:46
Speaker
And this is how this kind of thing starts, right?
00:22:48
Speaker
Like she's out there, she's building her surf business and she's clearly good at it.
00:22:51
Speaker
And up to attract a person like Jonah Hill, who's I guess a celebrity, probably one of perhaps many in her DMs,
00:22:58
Speaker
And she's doing a sport, right?
00:23:00
Speaker
Like this isn't just like a person who's doing porn, like OnlyFans or anything like that.
00:23:05
Speaker
And she's doing a sport that she loves that requires her to be in the water, that requires her to wear bikinis, etc.
00:23:11
Speaker
And then here comes some scrote who comes along and is like, you need to dress this way and you can't look this way.
00:23:16
Speaker
You can't talk to men.
00:23:17
Speaker
You can't do this.
00:23:18
Speaker
And feels like he has a lot of support behind him and a lot of entitlement to forcing her to try to
00:23:23
Speaker
be less than who she is so he can feel more comfortable in the relationship.
00:23:26
Speaker
And I'm like, if she's not for you, then she's not for you.
00:23:29
Speaker
You can't go into someone else and be like, be totally different from who you are in order to be in a relationship with me.
00:23:35
Speaker
And this is also a classic example of why any therapist worth their salt
00:23:40
Speaker
they wouldn't recommend going to therapy with somebody like Jonah Hill or somebody who is abusive or somebody who is controlling.
00:23:49
Speaker
Because, you know, as Rose said, like therapists, they're not superhuman, they are
Career vs. Compromise
00:23:53
Speaker
also human.
00:23:53
Speaker
And what usually ends up happening is that the abusive partner will end up manipulating the therapist to basically validate their position, even though that position is abusive.
00:24:03
Speaker
And this attitude from Jonah Hill is actually really common.
00:24:06
Speaker
I know in the Nollywood industry, which is, I've talked about before, which is basically Nigerian Hollywood, there are so many actresses who were basically like Jonah Hill out of acting because their husband didn't like it.
00:24:20
Speaker
And so they left the profession for several years.
00:24:22
Speaker
The relationship failed anyway, and they tried to come back.
00:24:25
Speaker
But by then the ship had sailed.
00:24:27
Speaker
And ultimately, you know, Jonah Hill was probably smart enough to know that if he, you know, if Sarah adheres to these boundaries, that will massively affect her career.
00:24:37
Speaker
And I would say to any woman, if a guy is trying to jeopardise your career trajectory or like all your education...
00:24:43
Speaker
basically making you choose between the two, always pick your career.
00:24:47
Speaker
Because the right guy... He wouldn't ask you.
00:24:49
Speaker
He wouldn't ask you to do it.
00:24:51
Speaker
And he wouldn't impose boundaries, in quotation marks, that will jeopardize your earning potential on your career.
00:24:57
Speaker
Even if, let's say, you know, Sarah was a sex worker, right?
00:25:00
Speaker
As I said on my Twitter account, you know, if he didn't want to date a woman who was surfing with guys, if he didn't want to date a woman who was posting bikini pictures online, if that was truly a boundary for him, he wouldn't have dated her in the first place.
00:25:14
Speaker
Because like personally, I would never date somebody who's a smoker, right?
00:25:18
Speaker
It's just like me getting into a relationship with a smoker and then saying, yeah, so if you want to be with me, if you want to be my lover, you have to quit smoking.
00:25:25
Speaker
Like that's nonsensical and that's stupid.
00:25:28
Speaker
If something is truly important to you when it comes to partner selection, then you factor that in when you decide to get into a relationship with a person.
00:25:36
Speaker
It's so painful because you think of all the women who gave up their dreams, gave up the things that they wanted in life for men who are not worth it.
00:25:43
Speaker
I'm sure they're sitting around kicking themselves and leaving themselves a bitter taste in their mouth.
00:25:47
Speaker
And when I look back on my life, I really could have easily been that, right?
00:25:51
Speaker
Because again, grew up very, very religious where all of the focus from all of my family and even the guys' families I dated was like, oh, you need to look and be a certain way to be a good wife.
00:26:02
Speaker
And anything I wanted to do for myself was like thought of as a secondary, trite, unimportant, that I was asking for too much, that who I am was like just too much for any guy to be with or something like that.
00:26:16
Speaker
Like it's always about like making you feel small and like dependent and it's trash.
00:26:21
Speaker
It's just trash behavior.
00:26:22
Speaker
Like for what?
00:26:23
Speaker
Right.
00:26:23
Speaker
Like for the benefit of like being with some guy who's mediocre and probably beneath you.
00:26:29
Speaker
There's just like this altar of male worship that just legit pisses me off.
00:26:32
Speaker
But it starts with guys like Jonah.
00:26:34
Speaker
It's Jonah Hill with this entire attitude that, oh, however a woman is when you meet her, it's your job to basically like mold her into someone she's not so she can be a good wife to you.
00:26:44
Speaker
And that's why these guys love age gaps because a woman who is in that tender age where you're still kind of figuring herself out and trying to figure out who you want to be in the world is really, really vulnerable to that kind of abuse.
Age Gaps and Control Issues
00:26:55
Speaker
unless she has like a good support system behind her.
00:26:58
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:26:59
Speaker
I don't know this, like every text I'll read, like pisses me off and triggers me more.
00:27:03
Speaker
So, okay, here's where he turns into like this total nice guy narc, right?
00:27:07
Speaker
So Jonas, what a fucking loser.
00:27:10
Speaker
So Jonah Hill texts Sarah.
00:27:14
Speaker
This is a screenshot of a text message that Sarah sent to Jonah and then his response.
00:27:19
Speaker
So Sarah says,
00:27:20
Speaker
in the Instagram story caption says it's icky to see how I took all the blame for him.
00:27:24
Speaker
And she writes to him, I'm sorry, I said that I just had a couple of beers.
00:27:28
Speaker
And I'm just upset feeling like we can't do serve social things without an uncomfortable situation arising that usually feels like my fault somehow.
00:27:34
Speaker
I feel like you pull away.
00:27:35
Speaker
And then the feeling of being defective creeps in.
00:27:38
Speaker
I think I'm not socially intelligent enough to meet your needs as a partner.
00:27:41
Speaker
And then I get frustrated and angry at myself and just want you to rip the bandaid off.
00:27:44
Speaker
I'm not good enough for you.
00:27:45
Speaker
In moments of conflict, my brain thinks you want to dump me because I'm not good enough for you and you're the goat and you can do better and you will immediately once you end things with me.
00:27:54
Speaker
And then Jonah says, you're right.
00:27:56
Speaker
We can't do surf things or develop trust until you consider me and make decisions that give regard to our relationship.
00:28:02
Speaker
Man, I'm so triggered reading this shit because I've written stuff like this to exes, by the way, like taking the blame for when they flip the fuck out for no fucking reason.
00:28:10
Speaker
do you know what it is okay the penny has finally dropped right so what is it about surfing but like it's finally clicked i can't even think of this before but why is he so anti surfing in general it's because generally speaking guys who surf are attractive jonah hill knows that he's not there we go
00:28:34
Speaker
exactly he's not built like a surfer he's not gonna be able to compete with surfer bods like get the fuck out of here that is why that is absolutely 100% why because i'm sure like if the surfing guys look like reddit mods excluding us of course i don't know about y'all but i'm a baddie so
00:28:55
Speaker
I can't speak for the other Reddit mods.
00:28:57
Speaker
But if it looked like Reddit was, I don't imagine he would have a problem with her surfing.
00:29:02
Speaker
But if you look at your average surfer, I mean, there's not many surfing towns in the UK.
00:29:05
Speaker
When I've seen surfers, especially male surfers, they've always been pretty conventionally attractive, at least like, you know, fit body, generally, you know, clearly athletic in shape.
00:29:15
Speaker
And that's what's bothering him.
00:29:17
Speaker
Yeah, no, for sure.
00:29:18
Speaker
Like he on some level, well, let me continue these text messages.
00:29:21
Speaker
And then I think it'll keep shedding the light of what exactly what you're saying.
00:29:25
Speaker
So you're right.
00:29:26
Speaker
We can't do surf social things or develop that trust until you consider me and make decisions that give regard to our relationship.
00:29:32
Speaker
I've been as vulnerable as possible.
00:29:33
Speaker
And I'm telling you, I'm needing you to step up to the plate, which you can.
00:29:36
Speaker
I'm sure of it.
00:29:37
Speaker
But these losers don't get your time if you want me straight up.
00:29:40
Speaker
It's consideration.
00:29:41
Speaker
I respect your love of surfing, but I respect myself
Emotional Abuse and Insecurities
00:29:44
Speaker
as well.
00:29:44
Speaker
And your love of surfing and being in those situations and lack of awareness are not mutually exclusive.
00:29:48
Speaker
This isn't me.
00:29:49
Speaker
I have my own issues that I own.
00:29:50
Speaker
If you want marriage and family, you can't use the 25 card.
00:29:53
Speaker
Step up and cut the shit.
00:29:54
Speaker
These people don't get your time or your kindness or sacrifice of minds.
00:29:58
Speaker
Take some accountability and operate with respect.
00:30:00
Speaker
It's that simple.
00:30:01
Speaker
Because I'm tired of your attitude towards surf culture that...
00:30:04
Speaker
contest and that place because I deserve respect period I have been more than patient and then shit like this is still here fuck that contest fuck that place and fuck not respecting me always in every situation within serve culture and you don't get it and you don't get me it's hurtful and unacceptable to me get it I don't know if you get it or care or give a shit that more than me even after Dr. Stern has said it loud and clear they said Dr. Stern was the couples therapist they went to
00:30:27
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:30:28
Speaker
Like, I mean, fuck that contest, fuck that place.
00:30:31
Speaker
And yeah, what are you talking about?
00:30:32
Speaker
That's their entire job.
00:30:33
Speaker
This is so abusive and crazy.
00:30:35
Speaker
Yeah, 100%.
00:30:37
Speaker
And like I've said before, like, you know, guys can literally, I don't mean like talking about leagues, I don't really believe them, but I can't think of a better word right now, especially when they perceive their girlfriend to be out of their league.
00:30:50
Speaker
They will literally construct a
00:30:51
Speaker
a narrative from like literally anything.
00:30:55
Speaker
I've said this before on the podcast, but I remember when I was with my ex and I said in passing that a male flatmate was my favourite flatmate because he used to make me laugh.
00:31:03
Speaker
It wasn't like anything sexual or anything like that.
00:31:06
Speaker
We literally used to just have banter in our shared kitchen because we shared a flat.
00:31:11
Speaker
And I remember my ex basically like straight up just basically said, I don't need to mention his name ever again in front of me.
00:31:18
Speaker
I just felt like I'd gone to North Korea.
00:31:20
Speaker
And this was literally just me saying, I really like this guy because he made me laugh and I shared a joke and he just didn't like that at all.
00:31:27
Speaker
And so I don't know what he thought in his head was going on, but I'm guessing that basically seeing like the Jonah Hill stuff play out, it sort of took me back to that time and just the way men will just construct things.
00:31:40
Speaker
a narrative about, you know, their girlfriend and another man is just wild.
00:31:45
Speaker
And they say that women like to put two and two together and make a hundred.
00:31:49
Speaker
But I find that men do that a lot more.
00:31:53
Speaker
And I think it's partly because they project their own ways of being onto other men.
00:31:58
Speaker
So for example, my ex, if he thought a girl was having banter with him, he would probably think that, oh, she wants to sleep with me.
00:32:06
Speaker
You know, so automatically he made that association between, oh, Savannah's having banter with this guy.
00:32:10
Speaker
So therefore, T must want to sleep with her sort of thing.
00:32:13
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:32:14
Speaker
That could be true.
00:32:15
Speaker
But at the same time, you have to have faith in your partner, meaning like, I'm not...
00:32:21
Speaker
saying that a person is wrong to ever feel jealous over their partner because it's very much a natural human emotion if you're invested in someone and you love them.
00:32:30
Speaker
If you see someone who you think might be sexual competition to just like feel a little bit threatened or whatever, but how you handle that says everything about you, right?
00:32:39
Speaker
It's, I don't think it's realistic to ever say, oh, you can't ever talk to anybody.
00:32:45
Speaker
And if you find yourself triggered over your
00:32:47
Speaker
significant other talking to most people, it's like either they're untrustworthy or you're controlling, right?
00:32:54
Speaker
And I feel like in this particular instance, there's no evidence that it was anything other than her interacting with her colleagues in a completely normal and healthy way, right?
Leaving Controlling Relationships
00:33:03
Speaker
Like there's not any specifics here.
00:33:04
Speaker
It's just him being like, literally paddle away when a man talks to you.
00:33:08
Speaker
Are you out of your mind?
00:33:09
Speaker
right?
00:33:09
Speaker
This is not like, oh, he was touching you, right?
00:33:11
Speaker
That's crazy.
00:33:12
Speaker
Like, it's not like he was saying, oh, this guy was flirting with you, he was touching with you, he was like doing anything.
00:33:18
Speaker
And so what it comes across to me as is like, she's just living her life.
00:33:21
Speaker
She has friends, some of them are her colleagues in the surf world, he feels threatened by said guys, and then starts berating her and going into her about her behavior because of how he feels.
00:33:31
Speaker
But how he feels is on him and how he reacts to how he feels is on him, right?
00:33:36
Speaker
Again, if there was some kind of real reason
00:33:39
Speaker
And even so, let's say like she straight up cheated on him with like five guys.
00:33:42
Speaker
Then break up with her, man.
00:33:43
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:33:44
Speaker
Like what's the point of just like staying in this relationship and then trying to bully this girl into like not being who she's shown you she is.
00:33:51
Speaker
There's no evidence she did anything like that.
00:33:52
Speaker
In fact, it looks like she took way, way more responsibility for his crappy behavior than she should have.
00:33:58
Speaker
And that more or less, she's probably just interacting like normal and that he's panicking because he knows he's on some level.
00:34:04
Speaker
He's not as attractive as the other people that are more likely in her surf circle.
00:34:08
Speaker
But once again, like he's the one that came on to her.
00:34:10
Speaker
He's the one that's much older than her.
00:34:12
Speaker
And he's just trying to bully her to be the woman that he feels like he can control.
00:34:16
Speaker
And so this whole exchange of him like berating her and her being like, I don't even know what set you off.
00:34:20
Speaker
Like if you're in a relationship like that, just bounce.
00:34:23
Speaker
Because unfortunately, I've been in this situation myself and there's nothing you can do to solve a person who's that insecure.
00:34:29
Speaker
You can't.
00:34:29
Speaker
Because all they're going to do is just increase their coercive control and their negativity.
00:34:33
Speaker
And I think the more you comply with their demands, because I feel like initially Sarah clearly complied because she thought it might keep the peace.
00:34:42
Speaker
But if you comply, then you're justifying their control and it will only escalate into something even more unreasonable.
00:34:49
Speaker
Because part of the thrill for these men, I say thrill, is that
00:34:54
Speaker
They want to basically mould a woman who isn't what they want into something that they do want, which is why he didn't date a woman who wasn't a surfer or a woman who wasn't a model or a woman who didn't post pictures of herself in a bikini online because he could have easily done that.
00:35:12
Speaker
There's a reason why they go for certain types of women and then try to break them down and to mould them into something that they're not.
00:35:20
Speaker
And that's part of the control element for them.
00:35:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:23
Speaker
Relationships like that, especially if you have a few of them, it just makes you feel crazy, right?
00:35:27
Speaker
Because you don't know why this person is just being mean to you, right?
00:35:31
Speaker
That you care about.
00:35:32
Speaker
And especially if you care about that person, you don't want to make them feel bad.
00:35:36
Speaker
And all of this and the way that she was responding makes me feel like she really cares about him.
00:35:41
Speaker
And so that's why she's entertaining this shit to begin with.
00:35:43
Speaker
And then he's just totally taken advantage of that by being an abusive dick, right?
00:35:47
Speaker
Man, yeah.
00:35:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:48
Speaker
Everything about this, run.
00:35:50
Speaker
Anybody who would defend this, run.
00:35:52
Speaker
There's just nothing about this that's an acceptable way to react to your girlfriend.
00:35:57
Speaker
What's so crazy to me, like there's not like any specific incidences ever in here.
00:36:00
Speaker
It's just like a big bunch of like accusations and like expectations like, oh, you can't use the excuse that you're 25.
00:36:06
Speaker
And I'm like, why can't she, Jonah?
00:36:08
Speaker
She is 25.
00:36:10
Speaker
If you want to date women who you feel are quote unquote more mature, who understand things socially, then date someone who's more mature and understands quote unquote the social things you're talking about.
00:36:19
Speaker
But the thing is, it wouldn't even matter because a woman who did understand some social aspects wouldn't put up with your crap, quite frankly, right?
00:36:25
Speaker
So like a woman who understood the social dynamic, what was happening between her and then her social circle and then like Jonah's crazy ass response to it.
00:36:32
Speaker
wouldn't have put up with this for a second.
00:36:34
Speaker
So while he's trying to act like she's immature, she's not immature.
00:36:36
Speaker
She's immature in the sense that like she doesn't know to stay far away from you because you're out of your fucking mind, right?
00:36:41
Speaker
A mature woman wouldn't entertain this at all.
00:36:44
Speaker
So he's wrong, right?
00:36:46
Speaker
The fact that she's 25 is why she's putting up with this at all.
00:36:49
Speaker
Yeah, clearly as well.
00:36:51
Speaker
When a guy tries to berate you and you're younger than him about your quote immaturity, this is why we're so against age gaps.
00:36:57
Speaker
And much older man starts
Community Support and Rationalization
00:36:58
Speaker
to berate you about your immaturity.
00:36:59
Speaker
Your response is, first of all, to never date him in the first place.
00:37:02
Speaker
And if you are dating a breakup, but also be like, well, why haven't you dated someone who's older and more mature?
00:37:08
Speaker
And the answer is always because a more mature person wouldn't put up with their shit because they would understand it for what it is.
00:37:15
Speaker
Exactly.
00:37:16
Speaker
So there's another series of screenshots she posts on her Instagram stories about narcissism, about toxic relationships.
00:37:23
Speaker
And here's one I think was pretty poignant.
00:37:25
Speaker
She says like, she says making the person feel like a celebrity, although I feel like I didn't really do that.
00:37:30
Speaker
And it really pissed them off that I treated him like a normal person, even though that's what he said he wanted from everybody.
00:37:35
Speaker
So another one of those guys, it's like, oh, just treating me like a regular guy, but doesn't actually want to be treated like a regular guy.
00:37:41
Speaker
He wants a woman who's going to stroke his clearly extremely
00:37:44
Speaker
fragile ego.
00:37:46
Speaker
And she, yeah, she basically calls him a narcissist and a bunch of different people who study narcissism about some of the behavior here.
00:37:53
Speaker
And then she talks about like, okay, I guess Jonah Hill just had a daughter and she was like, I hope his daughter actually turns him into a real feminist instead of a fake one.
00:38:00
Speaker
And she says, oh, okay, here's the heart drop.
00:38:03
Speaker
She texts her friend.
00:38:04
Speaker
I can't tell you how many times during that relationship I Googled if I was a narcissist.
00:38:08
Speaker
So if you've ever been in a relationship with a completely toxic individual and then Googling, am I the narcissist?
00:38:15
Speaker
And her friend was like, ha, ha, ha, sorry, same.
00:38:17
Speaker
Oh my God, that's so sad for us.
00:38:19
Speaker
Fuck.
00:38:20
Speaker
And then Sarah says, yeah, but also I've seen a lot of that as I've been researching it.
00:38:24
Speaker
Like it's common for the partner of a narcissistic person to believe they were the narcissist.
00:38:28
Speaker
The narcissist never believes they are the narcissist unless they've been diagnosed by a professional or have really done work to own it.
00:38:33
Speaker
So she's on her level of journey.
00:38:36
Speaker
Yeah, Davo.
00:38:37
Speaker
And this is also why FBS also said if you have to Google his or your behavior during the course of the relationship, the relationship is probably either toxic or dead, because in a healthy relationship, you wouldn't have to resort to Google to try and figure out what's going on.
00:38:53
Speaker
And she writes, looking back, I can see shared bits and pieces with different friends and family members, but never the whole story.
00:38:59
Speaker
Never enough for someone to say this man is a narcissist.
00:39:02
Speaker
He's not changing.
00:39:03
Speaker
You need to make an exit plan.
00:39:04
Speaker
So I've so been there and I just feel for it, man.
00:39:07
Speaker
And the guys I dated weren't celebrities, right?
00:39:09
Speaker
So imagine doing this and the guy that you're dating, you're afraid of to a certain extent because he has this huge public platform.
00:39:15
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:39:16
Speaker
This is why I think she's brave for coming out.
00:39:18
Speaker
People are like, oh, you know, why is she coming out now?
00:39:21
Speaker
But, you know, as a woman, when you come forward about abuse, there is never a right time to come out, like, ever.
00:39:27
Speaker
What, do you expect her to do it while she was in a relationship with him?
00:39:30
Speaker
Did you expect her to do it a month ago when he just had a kid?
00:39:34
Speaker
I just feel like I really respect her for coming out at all, because...
00:39:39
Speaker
Yeah, it was like mid as he is, Jonah Hill still has a massive platform and she's still being pilloried or attacked.
00:39:46
Speaker
Like there's nothing in it for her by coming out about this.
00:39:50
Speaker
Here's a Guardian profile on Jonah Hill.
00:39:53
Speaker
He does this weird cycle staring thing at you, warned a colleague who had interviewed Hill a few years ago, an infamously bad-tempered interview he gave to Rolling Stone last year in which he came across as obnoxious and most damningly of all, a fan of the word prideful.
00:40:06
Speaker
compounded this image of Hill as a pain.
00:40:08
Speaker
Even his friends seemed a bit unsure of him.
00:40:10
Speaker
Apatow once described him as an angry nerd.
00:40:14
Speaker
When one journalist asked Rogan for tips on how to interview Hill, Rogan replied, he is serious.
00:40:18
Speaker
He is, which I'm not.
00:40:19
Speaker
I don't know how to approach him.
00:40:20
Speaker
It's a good question.
00:40:21
Speaker
Was Hill actually kind of a douche?
00:40:23
Speaker
So yeah, so this is like this guy's MO.
00:40:25
Speaker
He's just been kind of a toxic douchebag to people around him for quite some time.
00:40:28
Speaker
So congrats on you, sis, for getting out.
00:40:30
Speaker
And one thing I want to point out that's so good about the situation, this is why we say like, never try to get your bag or get yourself famous through being associated with a celebrity.
00:40:39
Speaker
Because if this celebrity tries to smear you, you don't have your own fan base, your people around you to back you up and support you.
00:40:46
Speaker
And in this case, she actually did because she was...
00:40:49
Speaker
semi-famous for being a surfer.
00:40:50
Speaker
So I wouldn't say she's famous, but like she has like a community of people.
00:40:53
Speaker
So like now people can validate that like one, who she really is and that Jonah Hill can't come out and control the entire narrative because she's like basically a nobody.
00:41:03
Speaker
She doesn't have her own platform and support group.
00:41:06
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:41:06
Speaker
What's great.
00:41:07
Speaker
Oh,
00:41:09
Speaker
It always bothers me though, when, you know, stuff like this about men comes out and you see just the way, you know, men rush to rationalise it.
00:41:18
Speaker
Like generally speaking, there were some men who said it's not acceptable, but there were just way too many that were saying he did nothing wrong.
00:41:25
Speaker
And it's like these same men are then going to go on to get into relationships with women as well.
00:41:30
Speaker
And it's just absolutely frightening.
00:41:32
Speaker
This is why I'm so grateful for spaces like FDS and
00:41:35
Speaker
because it does do a number on you as well.
00:41:37
Speaker
Even if you're not substantially younger than your male partner, women have been conditioned into not having any boundaries or standards.
00:41:46
Speaker
And it's almost like a sick joke, because if you look at this situation, you know, let's
00:41:51
Speaker
assume that Jonah Hill, you know, what he was asking for were, you know, what boundaries and quotation marks, as you like to call them, you know, men know what a boundary is, they know what a standard is.
00:42:02
Speaker
Because if you look at the scrotiest, you know, men, for example, so in this case, SK and Jonah Hill, they're more than happy to list off the boundaries and standards they have for the women in their life, even if
00:42:15
Speaker
those boundaries and standards are unreasonable and they'll have, you know, men primarily, but some women defending their right to have those boundaries.
00:42:23
Speaker
But let's say a woman says, I don't want my guy to watch porn or a boundary for me is that he has to have enough
00:42:30
Speaker
to support me financially.
00:42:32
Speaker
And then all hell breaks loose.
00:42:34
Speaker
So we did an episode a few weeks ago on why women should be high maintenance.
00:42:38
Speaker
And this is the reason why, because that you not having boundaries or standards is only going to attract the sort of men that will basically chuck the book at you in terms of their own boundaries and standards, no matter how unreasonable that is.
00:42:54
Speaker
Agreed.
00:42:55
Speaker
So thanks for listening, Queens.
00:42:57
Speaker
Check out our website, thefemaledatingstrateg.com.
00:42:59
Speaker
And our Twitter at fem.strat for as long as Twitter's around, I guess.
00:43:06
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what's up with that site.
00:43:08
Speaker
We don't have a threads yet, but I don't know.
00:43:11
Speaker
Check us out on Patreon if you want to support the Patreon, patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:43:14
Speaker
There's bonus content as well as a discord you can access.
00:43:18
Speaker
And you can also submit a roast to scrote so you can discuss any of your dating questions or issues with us via the Patreon.
00:43:24
Speaker
And then we will read it out loud in an episode and answer your question or roast a shitty scrote in your life.
00:43:29
Speaker
And on Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
00:43:32
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
00:43:33
Speaker
And for all these growths out there, don't be a BBB.
00:43:35
Speaker
Bad built bear.
00:43:36
Speaker
Die bad.
00:43:37
Speaker
See you next week.
00:43:38
Speaker
Bye.