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10 Tips for Dating A Prisoner (JK AHAHA DON‘T EVER IN YOUR LIFE)
25 Plays4 years ago
We release a popular episode from our Patreon discussing tips for dating a prisoner as a special bonus. Queue the clown music! Happy Holidays Queens!!!
https://tyro.blog/family/10-tips-to-dating-a-prisoner/
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Introduction to Podcorn and Patreon
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Check the link in the show notes.
00:01:05
Speaker
Hey, Queens.
00:01:06
Speaker
FDS is taking a little break this week because of the holidays.
00:01:10
Speaker
Happy holidays to you and your family.
00:01:12
Speaker
And in our absence, we're releasing one of our most popular Patreon episodes called 10 Tips for Dating a Prisoner.
00:01:19
Speaker
If you like what you hear, please consider subscribing to our Patreon at patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
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Speaker
You can get weekly bonus content as well as merchandise.
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Speaker
You can also talk to us on the Discord where we discuss all types of topics.
00:01:32
Speaker
for future episodes, as well as having a book club where we're discussing FDS-themed books as well as feminist-themed books.
00:01:39
Speaker
You can also submit a roast to scrote if you've liked the roast to scrotes that you've heard so far this year, as well as a queen story or a Gnosis story.
00:01:47
Speaker
So please check out our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash female dating strategy and enjoy this episode called 10 Tips for Dating a Prisoner.
Why Date Prisoners?
00:01:55
Speaker
This week, we will be discussing felons on Tinder.
00:02:01
Speaker
I mean, not actual Tinder, because obviously felons can't access that.
00:02:04
Speaker
But dating... Dating while in prison.
00:02:08
Speaker
Or dating men in prison.
00:02:10
Speaker
Question number one, why?
00:02:12
Speaker
Spoiler alert, you shouldn't.
00:02:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:18
Speaker
So I found out through the grapevine that dating websites specifically for people in prison actually exist.
00:02:26
Speaker
So I did a bit of digging and I found out it does indeed exist.
00:02:31
Speaker
So if you want your own felon, you can go and find them.
00:02:35
Speaker
Obviously don't, please don't do that.
00:02:36
Speaker
Don't date a felon.
00:02:38
Speaker
I've also found this article on 10 tips to dating a prisoner.
00:02:42
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:44
Speaker
which we're gonna dissect because the advice in this is just absolutely wild um and for the purposes of the article they've used um he being the prisoner because they're aware that men are generally in prison more than women correct so i'll go for the article and then we'll just basically roast it
00:03:07
Speaker
So 10 tips to dating a prisoner.
00:03:09
Speaker
Dating in prison are words that do not seem to go together.
00:03:13
Speaker
We agree on that one.
00:03:14
Speaker
So prison is not typically a place we think of when we imagine a date.
00:03:18
Speaker
And yet that many women find themselves dating men who are in prison.
00:03:23
Speaker
There are a lot of things to consider before you commit to dating.
00:03:25
Speaker
She says that like you just accidentally date a guy in prison.
00:03:30
Speaker
Right.
00:03:31
Speaker
This is what I'm saying.
00:03:32
Speaker
But if you're going on an online dating site for prisoners, that means you're specifically trying to date prisoners.
00:03:39
Speaker
It's not an accident.
00:03:40
Speaker
It's not like they're outside and you can just meet them.
00:03:43
Speaker
So you do have to specifically seek out a prisoner.
00:03:47
Speaker
You have to go out of your way to date a prisoner.
00:03:50
Speaker
Is this like a fetish?
00:03:51
Speaker
Well, unless it's like a guy you were dating and then he got locked up afterwards, but then you wouldn't be out here trying to date again because you'd already have a guy you were dating who's in prison versus like you're trying to find specifically a man in prison who you don't know.
00:04:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's just... So it doesn't just happen.
00:04:08
Speaker
Gosh.
00:04:09
Speaker
So there are a lot of things to consider before you should commit to dating someone who is in prison.
00:04:14
Speaker
Yeah, like don't fucking do it.
00:04:16
Speaker
That's what you should consider.
00:04:18
Speaker
But anyway...
00:04:18
Speaker
I'm just imagining an article, like, I've seen articles like, there's something you need to consider before dating a man with AIDS or dating a man with herpes or something like that.
00:04:26
Speaker
Like, don't.
00:04:28
Speaker
Like, just don't.
00:04:30
Speaker
Why would you?
00:04:33
Speaker
Anyways.
00:04:34
Speaker
So, before I share some tips on dating someone in prison, I'm going to spend a little time blogging about how to decide if this is the right decision for your life.
00:04:43
Speaker
Jesus wept.
Personal Stories of Prisoner Relationships
00:04:45
Speaker
God.
00:04:45
Speaker
Okay, so...
00:04:47
Speaker
Okay, so finding your prince charming.
00:04:50
Speaker
This is a joke.
00:04:51
Speaker
So no girl has ever imagined her prince charming as a man who was in prison.
00:04:56
Speaker
We imagine a man who is strong, honourable, kind, brave, courageous, loving and gentle who adores us.
00:05:04
Speaker
Unfortunately, sometimes that man is in prison.
00:05:06
Speaker
She just makes it sound like he just accidentally landed in prison.
00:05:11
Speaker
That's not how it works.
00:05:12
Speaker
He went to prison because he broke the law.
00:05:14
Speaker
This isn't like he just wandered down into a different country and walked into prison.
00:05:19
Speaker
Like, it can be a long process to go to prison.
00:05:23
Speaker
Like, why are she saying it like...
00:05:26
Speaker
whoopsie he's in prison oops it's like saying oh sometimes you know we always imagine meeting our prince charming but sometimes he's in another country or sometimes he's you know i don't know living in a different city or something no he's in prison that's very very different than just being like what the fuck i don't even know what to say that's so insane
00:05:46
Speaker
Yeah, I get the impression this author has dated a jailbird.
00:05:50
Speaker
He's just lying.
00:05:50
Speaker
He probably told her they all have some excuse why they're in prison.
00:05:54
Speaker
That's never their fault.
00:05:55
Speaker
That's the thing you have to understand about a lot of these men where they're always going to paint themselves as the victim.
00:06:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:03
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:06:06
Speaker
So she continues.
00:06:07
Speaker
So I know many men who have transformed their lives and are amazing men of honor who are still in prison.
00:06:12
Speaker
How?
00:06:12
Speaker
How do you know these men?
00:06:13
Speaker
That's true.
00:06:14
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:06:16
Speaker
Did she go seek them out?
00:06:18
Speaker
How did she know they're men of honor when they
Prison Culture and Relationship Dynamics
00:06:20
Speaker
have literally all of their behavior controlled for them?
00:06:23
Speaker
That's true.
00:06:23
Speaker
Fair point.
00:06:24
Speaker
So they're living in a cell and they can't do anything else.
00:06:27
Speaker
Okay, I actually have a funny story.
00:06:29
Speaker
I have a funny story about dating while in prison.
00:06:31
Speaker
This is my aunt.
00:06:33
Speaker
So my aunt used to be really into drugs.
00:06:36
Speaker
And then she had her first husband.
00:06:39
Speaker
He went to jail.
00:06:40
Speaker
And then while she was visiting him jail, she met his cellmate.
00:06:44
Speaker
She ended up divorcing her first husband and marrying the second husband, who is now my uncle.
00:06:50
Speaker
Yeah, she has a thing for jailbirds, I guess.
00:06:52
Speaker
Anyways, and then they both converted to Christianity and became really, really religious and Pentecostal.
00:06:59
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:07:01
Speaker
But they didn't convert until after he got out of prison.
00:07:04
Speaker
So this whole idea that jail is this transformative, wonderful place is like, I don't know.
00:07:08
Speaker
I don't buy that.
00:07:09
Speaker
And also, that's surely, even if that's true, that's the point of prison.
00:07:13
Speaker
They're meant to not be a shit person again.
00:07:15
Speaker
So they don't get brownie points for doing what they're meant to be doing, which is to not be a shit person.
00:07:22
Speaker
doing the bare minimum.
00:07:23
Speaker
And I also know how, and I also know people who are in prison who have not transformed their lives, who prey on women so they have someone on the outside to provide money, material things, and a connection to the outside world.
00:07:37
Speaker
So how do you know the man that your friend is trying to set you up with?
00:07:41
Speaker
Well, first of all, if my friend tried to set me up with a felon, she would not be my friend anymore.
00:07:46
Speaker
I'd be like, why do you hate me?
00:07:48
Speaker
Yeah, she don't like you.
00:07:49
Speaker
She's yeeted.
00:07:51
Speaker
She doesn't want you to win at life.
00:07:53
Speaker
That's a friend that's trying to sabotage your life and you should weed him out of your circle.
00:07:58
Speaker
So she goes on to say, keep in mind that loving a man who is in prison is full of heartache.
00:08:03
Speaker
Jesus.
00:08:04
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:08:05
Speaker
So your friend is trying to set you up with someone who is currently in jail?
00:08:08
Speaker
Like a man setting your friend up with someone who maybe went to jail like 10 years ago over like, I don't know, postal fraud or something minor or something like that.
00:08:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:17
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:17
Speaker
Maybe, you know, if he's turned his life around and he's a good person now, he's paid his debt to society, whatever.
00:08:22
Speaker
That's less bad.
00:08:23
Speaker
That's maybe more okay.
00:08:25
Speaker
But if my friend tried to set me up with a guy who's currently in prison, I'd be like, why do you hate me?
00:08:31
Speaker
Legit.
00:08:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:32
Speaker
What would be the point?
00:08:33
Speaker
See, the thing about this is it's like dumpster diving, but then all the good shit and the bad shit is chained to the bottom of the dumpster.
00:08:42
Speaker
So you can't take it out anyways.
00:08:43
Speaker
So it's like, why would you go to the dumpster?
00:08:45
Speaker
First of all,
00:08:46
Speaker
That's a very vivid image, bro.
00:08:48
Speaker
That's a very good analogy.
00:08:49
Speaker
I love your analogies.
00:08:50
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:08:50
Speaker
And then jump inside of the dumpster and then you can't take any of the dumpster shit home with you, even if you find something good.
00:08:57
Speaker
It's not even like thrifting where it's like, oh, I found one and I could just take it home and have some use for it.
00:09:01
Speaker
It's like literally just diving into the dumpster, flailing around, looking at the shit that's all stuck on the bottom that nobody can get off.
00:09:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:09
Speaker
And then being like, yeah, I'm going to make this my husband.
00:09:11
Speaker
I'm just going to live here in this dumpster now.
00:09:12
Speaker
I'm going to live here and marry it and love it and have kids with it.
00:09:18
Speaker
So she's married to an inmate.
00:09:19
Speaker
So this bollocks now makes sense.
00:09:21
Speaker
Wait, she's married to an inmate?
00:09:23
Speaker
A guy who's currently in jail?
00:09:25
Speaker
Not even a guy who used to be in jail?
00:09:26
Speaker
Just at the time this article was written, yeah.
00:09:29
Speaker
I'm not sure if he's out now.
00:09:30
Speaker
I'm not sure when the article was written.
00:09:31
Speaker
But yeah, she's married to an inmate.
00:09:32
Speaker
So yeah, she's married to an inmate.
00:09:35
Speaker
Um, so some of the drawbacks are you cannot spend time together whenever you want to.
00:09:41
Speaker
You do not get to see how he interacts with his friends and family, nor how he acts with your friends.
00:09:46
Speaker
All good information you need to know about a man before you try to date him.
00:09:50
Speaker
And to be honest, if he's in prison, depending on the offense, you probably have a very good idea.
00:09:55
Speaker
Like if he went to prison for, I don't know, beating his girlfriend or, you know, shooting his parents.
00:10:02
Speaker
You have a pretty good idea of how he feels about them.
00:10:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:07
Speaker
You have a good idea of how he feels about his friends if he went to prison for killing them.
00:10:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:11
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:12
Speaker
Shit.
00:10:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:15
Speaker
Prison visiting rooms and phone calls and letters will be the way you communicate and date.
00:10:21
Speaker
And you will never, ever be alone until he comes home.
00:10:24
Speaker
Now, I do know some prisons do allow, like, conjugal visits.
00:10:29
Speaker
Some of them do.
00:10:29
Speaker
Conjugal visits?
00:10:31
Speaker
Yeah, where they can basically have sex with their partner in a private room.
00:10:35
Speaker
See, that's crazy.
00:10:37
Speaker
Okay, this is how you know we live in a patriarchal society where conjugal visits are a thing.
00:10:43
Speaker
No.
00:10:44
Speaker
If you go to jail, you lose your right to have sex.
00:10:48
Speaker
I mean, I'm sure prisoners fuck each other, which is like... Or sex with a woman.
00:10:52
Speaker
That's why they're segregated by sex, right?
00:10:54
Speaker
Exactly.
00:10:55
Speaker
If you're a man and you go to jail, you lose your right to have sex with a woman for the entire duration of your prison sentence.
00:11:01
Speaker
That's justice to me, okay?
00:11:03
Speaker
The fact that men get to have conjugal visits is crazy to me.
00:11:08
Speaker
But like, especially since in some prisons, women can't even get pads or, you know, pregnant women, for example, don't get the medical care that they need.
00:11:15
Speaker
Right.
00:11:15
Speaker
So the fact that like women in prison don't get anywhere near as many rights for things they actually fucking need, but men get to have conjugal visits, something they don't actually need is fucking bullshit to me.
00:11:26
Speaker
That's true.
00:11:27
Speaker
That's true.
00:11:28
Speaker
Um...
00:11:29
Speaker
And so my most important advice here is if you know you do not want to spend the rest of your life with this man, do not date him.
00:11:35
Speaker
Do not waste your time in his.
00:11:37
Speaker
But if, however, you think this man could possibly be someone you can imagine spending the rest of your life with... Whoa, whoa.
00:11:44
Speaker
Do not waste your time in his?
00:11:46
Speaker
And his?
00:11:47
Speaker
He's in jail.
00:11:48
Speaker
Like...
00:11:51
Speaker
What else is he doing?
00:11:54
Speaker
He doesn't have shit to do.
00:11:55
Speaker
Like any, any attention that you give a convict is a gift to him.
00:11:59
Speaker
Okay.
00:11:59
Speaker
Like he's in jail.
00:12:00
Speaker
What does he like?
00:12:01
Speaker
What's he going to do?
00:12:02
Speaker
Stare at a wall all day.
00:12:03
Speaker
Could you imagine like going to visit a guy in prison, getting the pat down, going through the metal detectors, having all of your belongings confiscated and then sitting at a table with him and he's got his hands in handcuffs and then him being like, don't waste my time.
00:12:20
Speaker
To be fair, I can believe that.
00:12:22
Speaker
Scroat audacity is such that they would say that.
00:12:25
Speaker
Yes.
00:12:26
Speaker
Clearly this woman has bought into that narrative fully.
00:12:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:29
Speaker
Like, clearly you don't want to waste his time.
00:12:31
Speaker
You know, the guy in jail who has nothing fucking better to do.
00:12:34
Speaker
And prisons aren't usually in convenient spots.
00:12:37
Speaker
So this is after you've already made like a two, three hour drive outside of town.
00:12:41
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:12:42
Speaker
Exactly.
00:12:43
Speaker
And then have him be like, I don't want you wasting my time.
00:12:46
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:12:47
Speaker
His long days of like watching soap operas and Maury Povich and working out in the gym yard.
00:12:53
Speaker
But the thing is, inmates can be like anywhere from open prison to maximum security where they're locked up for 24 hours a day.
00:13:00
Speaker
Yeah, minimum security prisons in Canada are a joke.
00:13:03
Speaker
They're basically like a hotel.
00:13:04
Speaker
Like you can even like leave during the day sometimes.
00:13:07
Speaker
You just have to get like a pass.
00:13:09
Speaker
All our prisons suck.
00:13:10
Speaker
It's the American way.
00:13:10
Speaker
It's the American way.
00:13:13
Speaker
Well, it's legalized slavery, isn't it?
00:13:15
Speaker
So that's how... Well, we have one prison that's supposed to be cushy for politicians and stuff.
00:13:21
Speaker
It's called Club Fed, and it's a federal prison.
00:13:24
Speaker
For white-collar crimes?
00:13:25
Speaker
What?
00:13:25
Speaker
Yeah, for white-collar crimes, for rich people that commit crimes.
00:13:29
Speaker
And people call it Club Fed because it's the only sort of nice prison that has amenities and stuff.
00:13:34
Speaker
But it's mostly for Wall Street types, politicians that commit crimes.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:40
Speaker
The super 1% that gets them caught up in a crime.
00:13:44
Speaker
I just Googled this and I'm like, damn, they've got a pool table.
00:13:47
Speaker
They have like a video game room.
00:13:49
Speaker
They have like a gym.
00:13:51
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:13:52
Speaker
That actually looks... I mean, it's still prison, but yeah.
00:13:55
Speaker
I think they even have a fitness center.
00:13:57
Speaker
Yeah, they have a gym.
00:13:59
Speaker
They have a fitness center.
00:14:00
Speaker
Like an actual good fitness center.
00:14:02
Speaker
Like that looks like a Planet Fitness type quality gym, right?
00:14:05
Speaker
So... Clubbed to me looks like your average Swedish prison.
00:14:09
Speaker
When you look at Swedish prisons, they have a lot of this kind of stuff.
00:14:12
Speaker
This...
00:14:13
Speaker
This is just sort of probably the prison standard of the rest of the world.
00:14:19
Speaker
the rest of all the rest of the like west i don't know if you call them western but so and in blue writing at the bottom she caveats a note the woman i know who have dated men in prison and it has worked up really well have all been christians who have prayed and sought wisdom from the lord before agreeing to make a relationship romantic with someone in prison i personally believe this is the best way to
00:14:43
Speaker
Is Christianity a pipeline to prison?
00:14:46
Speaker
No, you know what?
00:14:47
Speaker
I honestly feel like this is an example of how religious women get fucked over because they're expected to, you know, forgive and like give endless chances and blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:14:56
Speaker
Like religious women are so fucking easy to manipulate because of that.
00:15:00
Speaker
It is so.
00:15:01
Speaker
The Jesus to jailbird pipeline.
00:15:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:04
Speaker
Or jailbed to Jesus.
00:15:05
Speaker
Like, even though... What do they call women that are obsessed with inmates?
00:15:09
Speaker
There's a name for them.
00:15:10
Speaker
Because I know there's names for women that are, like, jersey chasers if they chase athletes or badge bunnies if they chase cops.
00:15:16
Speaker
There's a name for women that chase inmates.
00:15:19
Speaker
I can't remember their name, though.
00:15:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:15:20
Speaker
There's a term called hebristophilia, which is...
00:15:25
Speaker
a sexual interest and attraction to those who commit crimes.
00:15:28
Speaker
It's a paraphilia.
00:15:29
Speaker
Yeah, it's a... Remember at the beginning I said, is this a fetish?
00:15:34
Speaker
It is a fucking fetish.
00:15:35
Speaker
I mean, like, Ted Bundy and, like, Richard Ramirez.
00:15:38
Speaker
Is it Richard Ramirez?
00:15:39
Speaker
They had,
Psychological Attraction to Criminals
00:15:40
Speaker
like, fangirls.
00:15:42
Speaker
It was very bizarre.
00:15:43
Speaker
I think Ted Bundy even got married in prison, had a kid somehow in prison.
00:15:47
Speaker
What kind of insane woman would marry or date someone like that?
00:15:50
Speaker
That's just crazy to me.
00:15:51
Speaker
Well, she thought he was innocent.
00:15:53
Speaker
I mean, then he confessed on the day of his execution and she hung up on him and never spoke to him again.
00:15:58
Speaker
But let's just say the off chance he wasn't.
00:16:00
Speaker
Right?
00:16:02
Speaker
Some women are very bad at risk analysis.
00:16:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:05
Speaker
Just say there's a small chance he wasn't innocent.
00:16:08
Speaker
Do you want to take that risk considering what he did to his victim?
00:16:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:13
Speaker
It's wild to me.
00:16:15
Speaker
We have to do a breakdown one day of women who do stuff like this because I know...
00:16:19
Speaker
Okay, this fucking Wikipedia article has a breakdown of women who do this.
00:16:24
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:16:24
Speaker
Okay, so causes of hybristophilia is low self-esteem and lack of a father figure.
00:16:32
Speaker
That's number one.
00:16:33
Speaker
Makes sense, checks out.
00:16:34
Speaker
Number two is some believe that they can change a man as cruel and powerful as a serial killer.
00:16:39
Speaker
So just like the extreme pick me.
00:16:41
Speaker
I can change him syndrome, yeah.
00:16:43
Speaker
Barber builder.
00:16:44
Speaker
I can change him, yeah.
00:16:45
Speaker
Yeah, the extreme project lover type women.
00:16:48
Speaker
What else?
00:16:50
Speaker
Oh, others see the little boy that the killer once was and seek to nurture him, which is... I mean, yeah, a lot of manipulative shitty men will try to make themselves seem like, you know, sad, pathetic little wounded boys or whatever, right?
00:17:04
Speaker
That need to be nurtured.
00:17:05
Speaker
Number four, a few hope to share in the media spotlight to get a book or movie deal.
00:17:12
Speaker
And then the last one is the idea that there's no such thing as a perfect boyfriend.
00:17:16
Speaker
She knows where he is at all the times and she knows he's thinking about her while she can claim that someone loves her.
00:17:21
Speaker
She does not have to endure the day-to-day issues involved in most relationships.
00:17:25
Speaker
There's no laundry to do, no cooking for him, no accountability to him.
00:17:27
Speaker
She can keep the fantasy charged up for a long time.
00:17:30
Speaker
Okay.
00:17:31
Speaker
That actually isn't, that's interesting to me.
00:17:33
Speaker
It's weird, but.
00:17:34
Speaker
So this is just like extreme low self-esteem.
00:17:36
Speaker
And like the fantasy aspect, because if he's in prison, you can project whatever fantasies you want onto him.
00:17:42
Speaker
You don't have to deal with the day-to-day hardships of actually having to live with a fucking scrote.
00:17:46
Speaker
So women with extreme commitment issues and extremely low self-esteem.
00:17:51
Speaker
And delusional women.
00:17:52
Speaker
I wonder if there's any thrill seekers in there because I have to imagine there's some women that are just attracted to the idea of having sex with a dangerous man.
00:18:01
Speaker
Because there were women that were chasing OJ Simpson after he got out.
00:18:04
Speaker
There's another point here that says, in the broadest sense, hybristophilia means attraction towards partners who display dark tried personality traits.
00:18:12
Speaker
So I don't get it.
00:18:14
Speaker
That's weird to me.
00:18:16
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:18:17
Speaker
Okay, so on to boundaries.
00:18:19
Speaker
If you have decided to go and date somebody who is in prison, it is really important to set some boundaries and stick to them.
00:18:25
Speaker
Never mind the fact that if you date a guy in prison, that shows your lack of boundaries and standards.
00:18:30
Speaker
Yeah, that shows your lack of boundaries and standards.
00:18:33
Speaker
Yes.
00:18:34
Speaker
Correct.
00:18:35
Speaker
I mean, she didn't say that.
00:18:36
Speaker
I just tacked that onto that because that sentence is just ridiculous.
00:18:39
Speaker
Oh, OK.
00:18:40
Speaker
I thought that was part of the article.
00:18:41
Speaker
Nope.
00:18:42
Speaker
It's ridiculous.
00:18:44
Speaker
Remember that prison culture is completely different than our world out here.
00:18:48
Speaker
There will be some strange rules and also a strange curiosity you may experience that drives you to find out more about the world of prison.
00:18:55
Speaker
establish your interest in the man and not just the culture of prison and nor the safety of dating someone who doesn't have much access to other women jesus christ yeah that's the that that also makes sense is like well he'll never be able to cheat on me if he's in prison but is that true though because a lot of so-called i mean i don't know how to phrase it so a lot of straight inmates and i find this comment biphobic i mean how do you know he's not cheating with other men
00:19:23
Speaker
I find that assumption biphobic.
00:19:26
Speaker
Oh my gosh, that's just biphobic to assume he's not fucking the other men in prison.
00:19:30
Speaker
A lot of them do, though.
00:19:31
Speaker
They start relationships.
00:19:32
Speaker
I mean, even women in female prisons, they start relationships with like sexual relationships with each other because there's no one else.
00:19:38
Speaker
So I don't know if I believe in prison gay.
00:19:41
Speaker
I think that's just an excuse.
00:19:42
Speaker
Like they were already gay.
00:19:44
Speaker
But once they're in prison, they're like, well, I can be gay.
00:19:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:48
Speaker
I mean, unless maybe if you're in there for life.
00:19:50
Speaker
Might as well convert that.
00:19:51
Speaker
I mean, a lot of men in prison just straight up, like, rape each other.
00:19:55
Speaker
Yeah, true.
00:19:56
Speaker
There's also that.
00:19:57
Speaker
So relationships being, like, heavy air quotes.
00:20:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:01
Speaker
But yeah.
00:20:03
Speaker
This is especially true for you.
00:20:05
Speaker
If you've been hurt by an inmate who's found another woman, screw it audacity.
00:20:10
Speaker
Even from prison, you're still playing women.
00:20:13
Speaker
Okay.
00:20:14
Speaker
Okay.
00:20:14
Speaker
So imagine you drive two, three hours down to a remote area in your state so that you can spend hours in line to get frisked and searched by prison guards, have all of your items confiscated, spend time in a busy hallway waiting to hear from your prisoner, then going up to him at his table.
00:20:37
Speaker
And he's sitting there in handcuffs and he's like, I cheated on you.
00:20:42
Speaker
I guess I'd be going to jail because I'd fucking pull out a pen and stab him in the eye.
00:20:47
Speaker
Just kidding.
00:20:49
Speaker
I want everyone to understand all of the motions you have to go through to get to that point.
00:20:56
Speaker
I need to drive home the effort it takes to be this fucking stupid.
00:21:03
Speaker
If that happened, just like key to cloud music.
00:21:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:14
Speaker
You have to go out of your way to do this.
00:21:19
Speaker
Imagine putting that much effort to be cheated on.
00:21:22
Speaker
Pressing your head.
00:21:23
Speaker
Or imagine you're not even talking to him face to face.
00:21:25
Speaker
Imagine you're talking to him through the glass.
00:21:27
Speaker
You're talking to him through the glass.
00:21:28
Speaker
First of all, there's people shrieking in the cells behind you.
00:21:32
Speaker
You can hear people crying and shrieking and cursing each other out.
00:21:35
Speaker
I'm going to kill you, motherfucker.
00:21:36
Speaker
You can hear all this going around around you.
00:21:40
Speaker
And around you are prison guards and phone pressed up against your ear and your other hand pressed up against the glass.
00:21:48
Speaker
And he's telling you, I can't see you anymore because I'm in love with someone else.
00:21:53
Speaker
I went to a prison one time and one time only to pick up a friend.
00:21:59
Speaker
I will never do that shit again.
00:22:00
Speaker
It wasn't even prison.
00:22:01
Speaker
Actually, I take it back.
00:22:02
Speaker
I went to jail one time to pick up a friend from jail.
00:22:04
Speaker
Wait, what's the difference between prison and jail?
00:22:07
Speaker
Jail is like what they usually have at the county and that's just for like temporary holding.
00:22:10
Speaker
And police station, yeah.
00:22:12
Speaker
Yeah, like the police station.
00:22:14
Speaker
Prison is when you actually get sentenced and you have to go to like a permanent correctional facility.
00:22:20
Speaker
I've only picked up a friend from jail once and that shit was enough for me.
00:22:25
Speaker
Right?
00:22:26
Speaker
And that was like a semi-convenient drive because it was in the city and I could wait outside the courthouse where they have like kind of amenities.
00:22:35
Speaker
But I cannot imagine doing this and doing any of this shit to regularly visit a man in prison.
00:22:40
Speaker
Damn.
00:22:41
Speaker
yeah oh okay so fuck that shit so we've reached the top now that we've gotten our breath i just i just want to drive home to the absurdity i want you to understand and visualize what this person is doing so uh so if you are still short here are some tips to dating someone who is in prison uh write a lot of letters to get to know him if he doesn't write back do not continue the relationship
00:23:05
Speaker
That's right, girl.
00:23:05
Speaker
Half standards.
00:23:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:07
Speaker
It's like, oh, if he doesn't text you back.
00:23:09
Speaker
This is like the prison equivalent of like, if he doesn't text you back, don't double text him, sis.
00:23:14
Speaker
The standards have lifted an inch.
00:23:17
Speaker
He got all day to write you, sis.
00:23:19
Speaker
So... If he wanted to, he would.
00:23:22
Speaker
Okay.
00:23:24
Speaker
Imagine literally every day getting up and writing a letter in like gentle handwritten cursive and then folding it into an envelope and then licking it very gently and mailing it off to the county courthouse and doing this 10 times in a row and then never hearing back.
00:23:39
Speaker
Calling your girlfriend and being like, I didn't hear back from, what's the prison name?
00:23:44
Speaker
Prison Jim.
00:23:45
Speaker
Like, I haven't heard back from prison gym today.
00:23:48
Speaker
And then all your girlfriends are sitting around you.
00:23:49
Speaker
That's okay, girl.
00:23:50
Speaker
You can do better than him.
00:23:51
Speaker
If a man can't write you back, he's got to get next to it.
00:23:55
Speaker
I just... I cannot fathom having that low self-esteem and...
00:24:01
Speaker
And writing letters is so time consuming as well because you write the letter and you don't hear back for weeks.
00:24:06
Speaker
So you're literally wasting your own time, even if he does respond, because we're talking weeks here between the time you write the letter, the time he gets it and responds.
00:24:16
Speaker
Like two months could have passed.
00:24:18
Speaker
Fuck that noise.
00:24:19
Speaker
Also, keep in mind that most men are terrible at writing.
00:24:22
Speaker
Let's not like, you know, Prison Jim is going to be writing, like, you know, with a quill pen, writing, you know, my dearest Emily, you've been on my mind every single day.
00:24:33
Speaker
I cannot wait till the moment I can embrace you in my arms again.
00:24:37
Speaker
No, he's probably going to be like, send me pictures of your boobs.
00:24:41
Speaker
Yeah, send boob pics.
00:24:43
Speaker
Yeah, he's going to ask for news, okay?
00:24:45
Speaker
So what that ass looking like.
00:24:47
Speaker
Sign Prison Jim.
00:24:54
Speaker
Oh, gosh, guys.
00:24:56
Speaker
Number two, do not send him any money or purchase food for him.
00:25:00
Speaker
Tell him you are not going to spend any money on him except for calls and eventually visits.
00:25:05
Speaker
So you're spending money on him then.
00:25:07
Speaker
Oh, I forgot they have to pay for this.
00:25:08
Speaker
So imagine...
00:25:11
Speaker
You did all the shit I described before and then took money out of your own pocket.
00:25:14
Speaker
Wait, you have to pay to visit them?
00:25:16
Speaker
There's a fee for that?
00:25:17
Speaker
And sometimes, sometimes you can only get there by bus as well.
00:25:22
Speaker
I might, this might be, I've read that in a book actually, I'm not sure if it's true.
00:25:25
Speaker
But you have to get like a special bus to take you to the prison and that shit costs money as well.
00:25:29
Speaker
This all seems like so much, again, risk versus reward.
00:25:33
Speaker
This all seems like so much effort for such a small reward.
00:25:37
Speaker
And somebody who's like got a 99.999% chance of being low value because high value people don't end up in prison.
00:25:46
Speaker
Sorry.
00:25:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:48
Speaker
So do not take your children to a prison visit unless you are engaged.
00:25:53
Speaker
Wait.
00:25:54
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:25:58
Speaker
This is why we can never take our foot off Pick Me's neck, because why would you bring your children to a prison?
00:26:04
Speaker
Ever.
00:26:04
Speaker
Wait, children?
00:26:06
Speaker
Is it children that you have with them?
00:26:08
Speaker
Because taking their kids to see them, that's maybe nice, actually.
00:26:12
Speaker
I mean, she just said, like, your children, if you have children.
00:26:16
Speaker
So I'm thinking, like, children that are not related to this person in prison.
00:26:21
Speaker
Why would you take your child to visit them in prison, even if you are engaged or even married?
00:26:26
Speaker
Why?
00:26:28
Speaker
Think of the message that sends your daughter.
00:26:30
Speaker
If you take your daughter to go visit your boyfriend in prison, what the fuck?
00:26:33
Speaker
The way that this is described, it doesn't seem like it's someone that she already knew on the outside.
00:26:37
Speaker
And so then they would have children together.
00:26:39
Speaker
So this is
Risks and Consequences of Dating Prisoners
00:26:40
Speaker
you meeting a brand new person trying to vet.
00:26:45
Speaker
This is vetting tips for prisoners.
00:26:47
Speaker
And it's just the saddest thing.
00:26:49
Speaker
So, yeah, this is about her bringing her children up to meet an inmate.
00:26:53
Speaker
And again, prisons are not... They're not child-friendly.
00:26:57
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know how to describe this, but they're not child-friendly environments.
00:27:01
Speaker
Prisons really aren't.
00:27:03
Speaker
Especially not men's prisons.
00:27:04
Speaker
Arguably sometimes female prisons, but not really.
00:27:06
Speaker
Imagine an article about vetting tips for meeting men in an insane asylum or meeting men in rehab or meeting men who are on house arrest because they're pedophiles or some shit.
00:27:20
Speaker
Right?
00:27:21
Speaker
Like...
00:27:21
Speaker
The condition of their life is all the vetting you need.
00:27:24
Speaker
The condition of their life or their lifestyle that they live is the only vetting strategy you need.
00:27:30
Speaker
And that's when you say bye.
00:27:32
Speaker
I just can't imagine exposing your... This is so irresponsible, trying to expose your children or something like this.
00:27:37
Speaker
So it's just, it's one of those things that goes from funny to just incredibly sad in such a short amount of time.
00:27:43
Speaker
Yeah, as soon as she brought in children, I got mad.
00:27:45
Speaker
And you know there are women out there that are doing this as well, otherwise she would not be writing this crap.
00:27:51
Speaker
So, the first couple of months, you need to write more letters and you plan visits.
00:27:56
Speaker
After several months of getting to know each other via letters, you schedule visits.
00:28:01
Speaker
Once you are visiting, plan a surprise visit or two.
00:28:04
Speaker
You will learn a lot about his temperament by surprising him with a visit.
00:28:08
Speaker
Like... Wait, wait, can you repeat that?
00:28:12
Speaker
Sorry.
00:28:14
Speaker
Wait, can you repeat that?
00:28:16
Speaker
Sorry, sorry.
00:28:17
Speaker
Okay.
00:28:17
Speaker
So once you are visiting, plan a surprise visit or two.
00:28:21
Speaker
You will learn a lot about his... You will learn a lot about his temperament by surprising him with a visit.
00:28:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:28:28
Speaker
He's in fucking jail.
00:28:29
Speaker
Imagine you drive down to the prison to all the check-in stuff I mentioned earlier.
00:28:40
Speaker
And he says, bitch, I didn't send for you.
00:28:42
Speaker
Don't come for me unless I send for you.
00:28:51
Speaker
How dare you drop by my home unannounced.
00:28:55
Speaker
What?
00:29:05
Speaker
Oh my gosh, Chris.
00:29:06
Speaker
I'm dying.
00:29:07
Speaker
I'm dying.
00:29:08
Speaker
I'm dying.
00:29:14
Speaker
I'm dying.
00:29:15
Speaker
I'm dying.
00:29:23
Speaker
Because you know that's what happened to some of them.
00:29:26
Speaker
That's why she has to make all these vetting rules because this has happened to somebody.
00:29:30
Speaker
Somebody wasted all of their time to drop in and a prisoner rejected them and was like, girl, why'd you show up here?
00:29:39
Speaker
Don't you know I got shit to do?
00:29:41
Speaker
Imagine getting rejected by a prisoner.
00:29:43
Speaker
Imagine how fucking humiliating that would be.
00:29:46
Speaker
These rules are because someone failed them, right?
00:29:50
Speaker
Someone experienced the failure side of them.
00:29:56
Speaker
It probably happened to her, right?
00:29:57
Speaker
It just sounds like she's talking from experience.
00:30:01
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:30:02
Speaker
Okay.
00:30:03
Speaker
Number six, do not kiss him until you've been visiting for at least six months.
00:30:07
Speaker
This may seem like a long time out here, but remember that you will only have a very limited time together during those six months.
00:30:14
Speaker
Don't rush into kissing him because it can cloud your judgment.
00:30:17
Speaker
Your judgment is already fucking... It's so clouded, it's opaque.
00:30:21
Speaker
It's non-existent.
00:30:23
Speaker
Your judgment is fucked, sis.
00:30:25
Speaker
Imagine writing a whole article about vetting men in prison and being like, make sure not to kiss.
00:30:30
Speaker
Don't rush into kissing him, sis, because that'll cloud your judgment.
00:30:33
Speaker
Okay, a jury of 12 already decided this guy is exactly where he needs to fucking be.
00:30:39
Speaker
And for some reason, you feel like your judgment is better than theirs.
00:30:47
Speaker
Oh gosh, I just... Okay.
00:30:50
Speaker
So after you decide you are officially dating, take your best friend to visit him.
00:30:54
Speaker
Her opinion is important and it's good to know how he interacts with your friend.
00:30:59
Speaker
Plus, if it goes well, you'll have extra support.
00:31:01
Speaker
It's like a pick-me cluster.
00:31:06
Speaker
If my fucking friend invited me to go visit her man in prison... I'm not going.
00:31:13
Speaker
I'm not going.
00:31:14
Speaker
No, I would go...
00:31:16
Speaker
just to get enough recon on this fucking scrote.
00:31:19
Speaker
And then I'd hang out with her and then be doing like a low key, like psyop to convince her to break up with him.
00:31:26
Speaker
Cause that's what I do when, when I decide that I don't like my friend's boyfriends, that's what I do.
00:31:31
Speaker
If you're a real one, you would narrate the entire experience.
00:31:34
Speaker
You'd be like, Oh, so now we have to give up all our jewelry.
00:31:36
Speaker
Okay.
00:31:40
Speaker
Wow.
00:31:41
Speaker
I'm going to try to use the bathroom and all the bathrooms have locks on it.
00:31:44
Speaker
This is really great.
00:31:45
Speaker
Really great.
00:31:48
Speaker
so that's number eight spend a lot of time sharing your dreams and goals and find out what his dreams are can you both achieve your goals if you continue in this relationship if yes keep going what kind of fucking goals does he have like i don't know like not get shanked tomorrow what kind of goals do prisoners have i've no idea
00:32:11
Speaker
Well, I mean, they may have goals, but... And also, what... This thing sort of pisses me off because she's talking like he's in there for maybe, like, a year.
00:32:20
Speaker
People can be in prison for 25 years.
00:32:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:24
Speaker
Like, 25.
00:32:24
Speaker
I remember watching a true crime, and this guy got sentenced in, what, 1998?
00:32:29
Speaker
He was eligible for parole in 2103.
00:32:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:33
Speaker
If you get multiple lifetime convictions, yeah, you're never getting out of there.
00:32:37
Speaker
Like...
00:32:38
Speaker
is just so irresponsible so irresponsible anyway if you both decide to continue this relationship get involved with support groups and courses that teach healthy relationship skills i'm sorry if you shack up with if you willingly shack up with a felon you don't have good relationship skills full stop yeah
00:32:57
Speaker
I'm sorry, why would you do that to yourself?
00:33:00
Speaker
Why?
00:33:01
Speaker
I'm actually in my head trying to think, like, what could a guy in prison offer me?
00:33:06
Speaker
And I'm really, really trying to think hard.
00:33:08
Speaker
Because I can't think of anything.
00:33:11
Speaker
Like, even things like emotional, like whatever, a lot of that shit is just manipulation and love bombing anyways, right?
00:33:17
Speaker
So to me, the worst thing about a guy in prison is that he can't even, like...
00:33:22
Speaker
buy me shit he can't even like take me on dates or do shit for me like that is the most important thing in a man to me is someone who can do shit for me and if he can't do that then why i don't get it i honestly wonder what these women talk about with these men because not a whole lot happens to them when they're behind bars right do they just talk about tv all the time does he ask her about her day and then like savor what it's like to not be in prison
00:33:46
Speaker
That must be what it is.
00:33:47
Speaker
They must be very good listeners because they probably want to hear something else rather than what's going on where they are.
00:33:54
Speaker
So maybe these guys are, who am I kidding?
00:33:57
Speaker
They're skirts.
00:33:58
Speaker
But maybe at least like, maybe they're literally a captive audience for women like this.
00:34:03
Speaker
No one else listens to them.
00:34:04
Speaker
Literally.
00:34:05
Speaker
They're captive audience.
00:34:06
Speaker
That's what makes them good listeners.
00:34:08
Speaker
They have nothing else better to do.
00:34:10
Speaker
I'm just like, yeah.
00:34:12
Speaker
The last one is if you have children living with you, do not live with him for at least one year after his release.
00:34:18
Speaker
This will give both of you time to get to know each other on the outside.
00:34:22
Speaker
So there's no consideration for the safety of the children, safeguarding.
00:34:27
Speaker
There's no caveats for depending on the crime.
00:34:30
Speaker
He may not even be allowed to live with kids he's not related to, especially if he's in there for a sex offence.
00:34:35
Speaker
This article is horse shit.
00:34:37
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:34:38
Speaker
Absolute horse shit.
00:34:39
Speaker
So, okay, the point about not living together for a year until after he's out is a good point about avoiding homosexuals because, you know, like John Meehan from Dirty John, you know, he was fresh out of prison and he was looking for women who can let him live there.
00:34:51
Speaker
Right?
00:34:52
Speaker
They're often homeless.
00:34:53
Speaker
So even though like the entire premise of dating a prisoner is whack, at the very fucking least, yeah, you should make sure that he's able to stand on his own two feet and find a place for himself to live because you don't want to end up like that's the I think that is the reason why so many prisoners will look for a relationship while they're in jails because they're looking for a landing pad for when they get out.
00:35:15
Speaker
Yeah, because they won't have any money.
00:35:17
Speaker
They can't get a job because of their conviction.
00:35:22
Speaker
This is why it's just such a bad idea to shack up with a felon because you are almost definitely being used.
00:35:28
Speaker
Like, they don't have anyone.
00:35:30
Speaker
If it's bad enough that you've gone to prison, you've sort of, I don't know, you've sort of destroyed your life's chances.
00:35:39
Speaker
Your life doesn't usually recover from that.
00:35:43
Speaker
So not even just that.
00:35:44
Speaker
I know there are studies out there that show that a non-related male is the biggest threat to sexual violence against children.
00:35:53
Speaker
And I think that goes exponentially up if they're a felon.
00:35:58
Speaker
So you just have to keep in mind that a lot of these cases, and you see this in the news all the time of like a woman's boyfriend just got out of prison three weeks ago and he shakes her baby to death and stuff like that.
00:36:08
Speaker
It's just like, it's just...
00:36:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:10
Speaker
There's so much risk to yourself and to your kids that I just feel like this is negligent parenting.
00:36:16
Speaker
So at minimum.
00:36:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:20
Speaker
And this is why sometimes it gets hard to feel bad for pick bees because they do shit that just honestly...
00:36:26
Speaker
They are so thirsty for dick.
00:36:28
Speaker
They are so thirsty for dick.
00:36:30
Speaker
They will literally put their children at significant risk for it.
00:36:33
Speaker
At risk.
00:36:34
Speaker
And for something like this, you literally have to go out of your way over a long, overextend yourself to build this relationship.
00:36:42
Speaker
It's not like you ran into a felon at the barn, didn't know, whatever.
00:36:45
Speaker
He's literally chilling in prison and you're going out of your way to build a relationship with him.
00:36:51
Speaker
And this is why we just have compassion and we can.
00:36:53
Speaker
But other times I think you just got to tell them like you're being very irresponsible.
00:36:58
Speaker
I don't know if I was her friend.
00:37:00
Speaker
I just would never be friends with a person like this.
00:37:03
Speaker
Yeah, honestly, here's the thing.
00:37:04
Speaker
Like none of my friends are fucking stupid enough to do something like that.
00:37:08
Speaker
And if they did, I'd probably, you know, I don't know.
00:37:13
Speaker
If he was, like, abusive and she was being, like, manipulated by him, I'd probably stick with her just to be, like, the sort of counterweight to whatever fucking stupid isolation tactics he might be trying to pull on her.
00:37:26
Speaker
I actually enjoy being...
00:37:29
Speaker
the woman to make my friend or to persuade my friend to break up with a shitty man.
00:37:33
Speaker
That's kind of my thing that I do and I enjoy it.
00:37:35
Speaker
So for that reason, I'd probably stick it out in that reason alone.
00:37:38
Speaker
But, um, I don't understand the concept of dating a prisoner.
00:37:41
Speaker
There's, they have nothing to offer you.
00:37:43
Speaker
They, they only take.
00:37:45
Speaker
So that's really what it comes down to is, do you want to date a taker?
00:37:49
Speaker
Like, no.
00:37:50
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:37:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:52
Speaker
Like you said earlier, struggling to figure out what value this man is adding at all.
00:37:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:57
Speaker
Like FDS, FDS is about a specific way of dating.
00:38:00
Speaker
We tell women to only date men who add value to your life.
00:38:03
Speaker
I'm struggling to understand what value a felon could add to your life.
00:38:06
Speaker
And I know that's, like, mean, and I'm sure a lot of, like, the prison... I want to point out, actually, this is different if the woman is a prisoner.
00:38:13
Speaker
A lot of women go to jail because of a man, a lot of the times.
00:38:18
Speaker
Like, they were either... Like, a lot of women, for example, go to jail for, like, killing or for fighting back against their abusers, right?
00:38:25
Speaker
Or for getting involved in crimes.
00:38:28
Speaker
And in the United States, it's... A lot of it's... Drug use, prostitution, and theft, I think, is the highest rates of incarceration for women.
00:38:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:36
Speaker
So, I find
00:38:36
Speaker
Like, women in prison, I mean,
00:38:41
Speaker
Do men date women in prison?
00:38:43
Speaker
I don't think so.
00:38:44
Speaker
Like, I think I read somewhere that this is not a thing.
00:38:46
Speaker
I know there was a discussion of that on the subreddit where, I don't know if someone who worked in a prison, it was a user who worked in prison or something like that, said that the stark contrast between Visitor's Day for male prisoners versus female prisoners kind of also woke her up because literally nobody comes to see...
00:39:07
Speaker
female prisoners.
00:39:08
Speaker
Women are way more motivated and dedicated to maintaining a relationship with a man who's behind bars, whereas like men will just forget about their girl as soon as she hits them bars.
00:39:17
Speaker
So yeah, it's definitely a one-sided type of commitment there.
00:39:22
Speaker
Yeah, so the very fact that men are less likely to date women in prison because they're no longer of use to them or whatever, that's why I don't think I'm a horrible person for saying that.
00:39:30
Speaker
That's just life.
00:39:31
Speaker
That's equality, bitch.
00:39:33
Speaker
They shouldn't be.
00:39:34
Speaker
Dating should be the last thing when you're in prison.
00:39:37
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:39:37
Speaker
You should be reflecting on how you've hurt people, your crimes, and plotting your life and sorting your life out.
00:39:43
Speaker
You don't need a relationship at that stage.
00:39:45
Speaker
You actually don't.
00:39:47
Speaker
And I think a lot of women in prison get that.
00:39:49
Speaker
My understanding is a lot of women in prison...
00:39:52
Speaker
do often like get therapy for trauma or, you know, at least in Canada, I don't know about states, what are your resources are like there, but in Canada, a lot of women do go like, Oh, I'm going to learn about healthy relationships.
00:40:03
Speaker
I'm going to like improve my life and get out of prison and have a better life and stuff.
00:40:07
Speaker
You can just tell that all these fucking scrotes in prison, dating women are thinking about like, you know, the reason why they're dating women is so that they can find someone else who can,
00:40:17
Speaker
you know, they can mooch off of basically.
00:40:19
Speaker
So yeah, the only reason why they're dating in prison is they don't have to reflect on themselves and how to improve.
00:40:24
Speaker
So the other thing that's rampant in female prisoners apparently is mental illness.
00:40:28
Speaker
So about 64% of women entering jail and 54% in prison had one or more mental illnesses.
00:40:35
Speaker
You're talking about chronic abuse victims and probably have a chronic mental illness who would otherwise be functionally homeless because they can't keep jobs.
00:40:43
Speaker
So that makes sense about the female prison population.
00:40:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:47
Speaker
And I think there's probably there's been there's been a huge increase in the United States because of the drug war and a lot of a lot of places in America, a lot of women getting addicted to drugs.
00:40:58
Speaker
Either addicted to drugs or they'll be dating some scrote boyfriend who gets them involved in the drug trade.
00:41:04
Speaker
Like, yeah.
00:41:06
Speaker
I actually worked in an office once where a woman who was a drug mule for her boyfriend got murdered.
00:41:14
Speaker
And this was just across the street corner from where I worked.
00:41:17
Speaker
And yeah, so women who get involved in crime, a lot of them do it for a man.
00:41:23
Speaker
That's some extreme pick-me shit, but it's still tragic when it happens.
00:41:27
Speaker
So I'm reading an AMA from a woman who was a prison wife.
00:41:31
Speaker
She got married to him in prison.
00:41:33
Speaker
And she says, we do plan on having children when he's in or when he's out.
00:41:38
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:41:39
Speaker
We don't get conjugal visits, but the correctional officers are pretty dense.
00:41:44
Speaker
So we get away with having sex in there all the time.
00:41:47
Speaker
This is some sad shit.
00:41:50
Speaker
But just the way she's like, we can have kids.
00:41:53
Speaker
So you want to have kids for somebody who's literally in jail?
00:41:56
Speaker
Nah, I've seen, this is end stage.
00:41:59
Speaker
That seems like child, why would you, why would you have children with someone where the children are not going to be able to see their father every day?
00:42:06
Speaker
And who is clearly in there for a very long time as well.
00:42:10
Speaker
So it's not like he did something minor.
00:42:12
Speaker
That's what I mean.
00:42:13
Speaker
It actually seems mean to consciously choose to have children with someone who cannot be a part of their child's life.
00:42:19
Speaker
That seems irresponsible to me.
00:42:21
Speaker
It's child abuse, I think.
00:42:23
Speaker
It's child abuse.
00:42:24
Speaker
You know, a lot of people might criticize us for this, but one of the reasons why FDS tells women to be super selective and have high standards with men is not just so that you can have a nice boyfriend or whatever, but so that you can choose the best possible father for your children.
00:42:37
Speaker
I believe very strongly that children are important and are precious and deserve the best possible start in life that you can possibly provide for them.
00:42:45
Speaker
And I think I actually get really angry at women who choose to have children with shitty men because it actually seems like mean...
00:42:52
Speaker
You know, it's one thing to, like, fuck yourself over in romance, you know?
00:42:56
Speaker
It's, like, self-destructive and it's sad.
00:42:58
Speaker
But if you... But kids didn't choose that.
00:43:00
Speaker
Yeah, kids didn't choose to be born, right?
00:43:02
Speaker
So to consciously choose to have children with a man who's not going to be able to provide for or be a figure in your child's life is horrible.
00:43:09
Speaker
Like, I actually really, really dislike women who do that on purpose.
00:43:13
Speaker
And look, she continues.
00:43:15
Speaker
So he's a career criminal for sure.
00:43:16
Speaker
He's doing 10 years for armed robbery.
00:43:18
Speaker
He says he's turned to God now,
Societal Perceptions and Conclusions
00:43:20
Speaker
but whatever.
00:43:21
Speaker
Oh, also, he never shot anyone.
00:43:23
Speaker
He only pulled a gun on people when he felt that he had to, in quotation marks.
00:43:28
Speaker
Look what you made me do.
00:43:30
Speaker
Fuck off.
00:43:30
Speaker
I mean, I know that's pretty sick to say, but for example, he robbed a grocery store once and the manager was blocking the entrance with the cart so he could not get out.
00:43:40
Speaker
So he pulled a gun on him, but he never shot.
00:43:42
Speaker
He just had to leave.
00:43:43
Speaker
If he hadn't, the manager wouldn't have let him out and he would have been caught.
00:43:47
Speaker
What?
00:43:53
Speaker
That's so twisted.
00:43:55
Speaker
Oh, if only you hadn't tried to protect your grocery store.
00:43:58
Speaker
I'm just imagining the poor grocery store manager just putting his life on the line to defend his shop.
00:44:04
Speaker
God.
00:44:05
Speaker
The way she's so blase.
00:44:06
Speaker
Yeah, he never shot anyone.
00:44:08
Speaker
Just the entitlement.
00:44:10
Speaker
It was his right to rob that store.
00:44:11
Speaker
And the fact that they were blocking him from the exit.
00:44:14
Speaker
He deserved to have a gun pulled on him.
00:44:16
Speaker
Just the way like, oh, but he wouldn't have shot him.
00:44:19
Speaker
But it's like, that's traumatic in itself, having a gun pulled on you, especially if you know it's loaded.
00:44:25
Speaker
Like, oh, what a dick.
00:44:27
Speaker
Sorry, she's a dick.
00:44:28
Speaker
So I'm mentally wrapping my head around some of these women now.
00:44:31
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:44:33
Speaker
fuck her too so they probably come from well it sounds like this woman definitely comes from the kind of lower income background for which or at least at least i think um for which uh they have their own sense of morality i don't know how to explain it there's like a street code for certain types of like stealing bread to feed your family is seen as more okay you know yeah yeah someone i guess they have nothing but it's still weird yeah
00:44:59
Speaker
It's still weird to actively seek out a prisoner, right?
00:45:02
Speaker
Unless it was like a guy you were dating before.
00:45:05
Speaker
Even among those women, I think it's weird to seek out a prisoner.
00:45:08
Speaker
Unless it was a guy you were dating before he went to jail.
00:45:10
Speaker
Then you might like hold him down on the outside or something.
00:45:13
Speaker
No, if I was dating a guy and he got arrested for a crime that he did in fact commit, I would dump him.
00:45:18
Speaker
Like if he goes to jail, I'd be like, bye, bitch.
00:45:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:21
Speaker
Like, that sucks for you.
00:45:24
Speaker
I'd move on hella fast.
00:45:26
Speaker
It has nothing to do... There's nothing he has to offer me at that point.
00:45:30
Speaker
And I think even... It's just... You can't even vet somebody.
00:45:35
Speaker
Like, you don't know if they're going to be violent or if they've got anger issues because, like Ro said earlier, everything is very controlled.
00:45:43
Speaker
And I think that once...
00:45:45
Speaker
somebody has gone to jail once the re-offending rate is very very high as well um oh man i didn't even know that this was that women actually sought out relationships with felons so this was new to me but i'm just i mean
00:46:00
Speaker
I mean, I knew that there were like the serial killer chasers, you know, like the Ted Bundy groupies, which I don't understand.
00:46:06
Speaker
You know what actually bothers me?
00:46:08
Speaker
What bothers me about these women is like a lot of men will see serial killer groupies and they'll be like, oh, that's what women are like.
00:46:14
Speaker
Like they make generalizations as if all women don't, don't let that type of woman reflect on all women.
00:46:23
Speaker
Like I don't like how men are so quick to dismiss women as like, as all or,
00:46:28
Speaker
misogynistic men specifically are quick to dismiss all women as crazy or, you know, they love being abused or they love men who treat them like shit or they love criminals because of a few crazy women who do that.
00:46:40
Speaker
I'm like, a lot of times you'll see them build that whole alpha beta narrative around it.
00:46:45
Speaker
Right.
00:46:45
Speaker
Like, oh, women are triggered and sexually attracted by certain types of dangerous men.
00:46:50
Speaker
And I'm like dark triad personality types.
00:46:53
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not.
00:46:54
Speaker
Yeah, it doesn't seem from even your description before about women who seek out men like this that that's even a factor.
00:46:59
Speaker
It's more or less like, first of all, they're cravingly low self-esteem, but also just having a captive audience.
00:47:03
Speaker
So being in prison seems like it'd be the ultimate beta thing, right?
00:47:07
Speaker
Like some beta shit because...
00:47:11
Speaker
Just to poke holes in those kinds of red pill theories is because he's got to sit there and listen to you.
00:47:16
Speaker
He's completely dependent on someone else and dependent on the state.
00:47:19
Speaker
Yeah, there's nothing alpha about being in prison.
00:47:21
Speaker
That's like the most beta fucking shit ever.
00:47:23
Speaker
Yeah, they like the forced dependency aspect of it.
00:47:27
Speaker
They like that this man is forced to be dependent on them.
00:47:30
Speaker
So it's not that they're seeking them out because he's some kind of sexy and dangerous guy, I guess.
00:47:35
Speaker
Yeah, so the moral of this bonus content is don't date felons.
00:47:41
Speaker
Quick dating tip.
00:47:43
Speaker
Quick dating tip.
00:47:43
Speaker
Don't date guys in prison.
00:47:45
Speaker
Bye, sis.
00:47:46
Speaker
Bye.
00:47:48
Speaker
Cool.
00:47:49
Speaker
See you next week, guys.