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Matt's Legacy of Racism and Laziness
2 Plays2 seconds ago
Lance uses offensive voices to help Matt understand the harm his words and ideas cause other human beings. Matt opens a non-profit and still considers himself lazy.
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Transcript
Evolving Friendships and Communication
00:00:14
Speaker
Dude, I remember when we used to like text back and forth, long strings, back and forth, cracking, connecting, feeling vibes, and now these texts have just disappeared from you, dude.
00:00:27
Speaker
It's been like the last six months, you've just fallen into a deep hole of wild wood. That's horseshit, dude. No, it's not. It's fucking legit. What was I doing last night? What was i doing last night, dude? A lot of people are probably feeling that.
00:00:41
Speaker
Yeah, but it's about, it's it's surface level dumb shit. it's Look at these African-American comedians. I'm going to just ignore this and use that as a segue. You
Challenges in Comedy Diversity and Stereotypes
00:00:54
Speaker
got to get out to some of these open mics at St. Louis because it's in like you're you're not you know you grew up with white geeks, the type people that do stand-up, so you can imagine the open mics suck with all all these white idiots that shouldn't be doing stand-up, right? or they Or they should, but they haven't figured it out. But when you think of black entertainers, you think of like a confident, smooth, sexy brother.
00:01:17
Speaker
Right. That's like the finished product. But at the lower end of the open mic scene, there's some some, as you said, African-Americans that are struggling and it's a whole different type of struggle from your average white tool.
00:01:30
Speaker
And it is awesome. In what way? I mean, in everything, dude. Well, there's all the shit that you wouldn't, you just, I don't know why. i mean, I feel like at least you and me, we put most black dudes on a pedestal, right? Like we we respect them. We think of them as confident dudes. A lot of times outspoken if they need to be right.
00:01:48
Speaker
I do anyways. i don't know if you do. Well, I can't take my eyes off of like a Chris Rock. I'm just looking for any facial expression, anything he's going to say. He could say hi, and it ends up being funny. That's the kind of yeah idol he is.
00:02:02
Speaker
He's a finished product. But, I mean, in general, dude, like, I don't know. I just have an idea, like, not not just comics, but anyways. I feel like you have – you just don't think of a regular black dude as kind of fumbling around with his words and stuff like that.
00:02:19
Speaker
But and this is like jungle fever. Remember that term? You got the jungle fever. I use that term the other night with some kids and they're like, what? ah They don't know what that is. Yeah, that's offensive on multiple levels these days.
00:02:32
Speaker
Well, the whole thing is great though. The crowd, like the crowd with reacting with the guy. Like, okay, all that shit that you, that's sort of stereotypical, but it's all happening.
00:02:44
Speaker
Like preach, go on. But are they good? They have potential or not? I mean, it's it's an open mic. There's like 30 people. So some are awesome. Some are some are crazy.
00:02:57
Speaker
And then I think... And then there are like... There are like... I don't know. Just the same thing you see in the white stand-up comedy open mics. There are like... ah Mental, you know people like on the spectrum like there's all that shit even with with with the black dude So it's I just don't I don't know why i don't think of it that with them that way But of course they're gonna have all the same shit that everybody else has right like it's like what comes to open mics it like attracts people with with some sort of You know, I don't know outliers of society
00:03:28
Speaker
You got to see it. You'd love it. Twisted thinking. Yeah. Twisted humor. So I was watching Kevin Hart's little funny as fuck Netflix special where he was just like a contest for comedians.
00:03:39
Speaker
But to your point, there is there was a subset of black comedian in that that was just trite and attempting to, you know, the embellished like When you're hitting black pussy,
Originality in Stand-up Comedy
00:03:51
Speaker
let me tell you something. That vibe, but they were, in this case, it was women.
00:03:56
Speaker
And they were you know just riffing on their pussies a lot and just talking... When you're a black grandma, what you gotta understand? And that, there are no real jokes, but there's just this performative, this is what it is to be black kind of thing happening.
00:04:11
Speaker
And it it's funny if you've never been, yeah, it's so played out. But if you've never been exposed to it, it starts off funny. I can see why you could survive on the comedy scene, you know especially if you're getting in front of um you know uncomfortable whites here and there, where it's just like,
00:04:27
Speaker
Oh, that's pretty funny, huh? Wow. But they're no jokes. But the guy that won it, he he was this black dude, Ron Taylor, a fantastic comedian. But he was so quirky and weird, had that vibe, but had some weird shit.
00:04:41
Speaker
And that's where he got his own his own style, not just a black style. His own style. whatever Yeah. i'm I'm not a fan andy of that embellished black black style, or I'm not a fan of the right-wing comedian that's sort of like, oh, I bring my fucking gun. And there's a couple guys like that, and I just can't deal with that shit.
00:05:00
Speaker
malcolm god I bring my fucking gun in my truck everywhere i go. it's it's ah Yeah, I don't know. It's funny. like yeah there's i mean, there's all there's all these formulaic things that people do, and they and they tend to be the same. and like So there is that like – Hello, white people. like there's yeah i fall back on that. But but ah I don't know. I can't even explain it.
00:05:23
Speaker
It's just really funny. I mean, the crowd is is funny. And then, like, also, like, the crowd is great. like Like, I think when I texted you last night, I ended up being, like, 15th in the lineup or something. And a lot of, like, the one thing, though, it's kind of weird. I think it's, like, youth and maybe a cultural thing. But if, like, a comic brings, like, five friends, they'll just fucking get up and leave after that performance, after that that person goes. Just, like, take their whole crew back to the...
00:05:50
Speaker
back to the hood and you're like, fuck, don't you guys hang out? You know, but, uh, we want to see you, but there was, but by the time I was on stage, it's probably, there was three awesome audience members, three black ladies that were great.
00:06:03
Speaker
couple of people that worked there and then like ah some other comics, but they were, they were all good. Like 11 people. Yeah, I'm just saying you would you get you could get it you could get lost in like the, oh, this is the audience and this is I got to do this and this is the audience. But I think I already mentioned this, but they're just like that. They don't like anyone, not just like black audiences or any audiences.
00:06:27
Speaker
they don't like that, but like because that there's like authenticity a little bit. and And if you're just doing that thing, you're like, oh, come on, white people. there's like You can sense it's not really authentic, so they don't like it either. no Or if I'm like, i my what's all up, y'all? Trying to overdo it. like over yeah then they're just So you just remain authentic, and they and they the those audiences are like great.
00:06:51
Speaker
so Yeah, and that that is tough to find. but Because there is a performative nature to it, as you well know. But like this one comedian on the show, he had a lot of really great material, but he just had that polished comic vibe that just was hard to connect with. There's something about... like well I guess what I was saying earlier is like you you see like a lot of black entertainers come off as as real smooth and like confident.
00:07:20
Speaker
And so when I see like a black comedian who's who is not confident yet, it's like so shocking to me. Cause I'm just like, what the hell? You were born with it. Don't you know that? You were born with a sense of style and and able entertain. So, but I wonder if that like- Very racist.
00:07:35
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it's a positive racist statement. That's still racism. It puts pressure on their backs, dude. it Turns them into slaves. You got to be smooth and confident and can dance and jump.
00:07:47
Speaker
Turns them into slaves. See? No, i don't they don't have to jump. No, I don't know. it's It's great. You got to see it, dude. You can you can talk all your shit, dude.
Overused Comedy Tropes and Authenticity
00:07:56
Speaker
you would You're like... you' like yeah You're probably good at getting into those blocks and sprinting, huh?
00:08:03
Speaker
Yeah. I'm like, why are you up here? You can probably dunk. Why are you wasting your time with jokes?
00:08:12
Speaker
There's all sorts of like... ah Like black lesbians too, going up there. Like just taught like you said, on and on about their bees and their eating box. and It's i really shocking.
00:08:30
Speaker
Yeah, for some somebody that does a lot of dumb sex stuff, and I've always said that that's because I don't really have any comedic whatever talent, but I get real tired of that.
00:08:40
Speaker
I get real, real tired of that. And just like how many times can we make the dick jokes and the puss jokes? and the butt fucking jokes and how can we can just ride that horse over and over. And people laugh because it's uncomfortable and weird, but not really because it's funny. It's it's sometimes funny. When it hits, it's not really the center of of the joke. But if it if it comes out of nowhere,
00:09:05
Speaker
in a larger premise. It's great. But people like that aren't very good in my opinion are just like that. That was 1980s when that shock value was new and Eddie Murphy and, uh, what's his face? Martin Lawrence.
00:09:18
Speaker
We're doing that shit. That yeah can't, you can't do that anymore. You can't do that. I don't know what you can do. like I think it's pretty hard. It's not funny. Original though now.
00:09:30
Speaker
Yeah, that that was... yeah Yeah, I don't know. that yeah You gotta you gotta to see one of these. The range of the open mics. it's it' It's just it's ah very interesting. But ah yeah, I wonder if you get that.
00:09:44
Speaker
You don't see too many brothers hanging out at music open mics though, huh? Some guy comes out is gonna be like an R&B singer. who He's not like hanging out, blowing the crowd away. But again, that scene, they would walk out and just fucking crush. All the white women would be like, yeah, I can see this.
00:09:59
Speaker
they they They're all just like, I can see it no matter what. would be like, put your hands together, dude, like something. And then boom, i heard the whole crowd just like, oh, he's got some talent, huh? so There's a little bit of that.
00:10:11
Speaker
A little. Yeah, there's there there's quite a bit. i remember seeing, i saw one black black dude at an open mic in Colorado, and that that's not crazy. It's just one.
00:10:22
Speaker
big That's normal. You wouldn't see any. But he was singing a song, a heartfelt song. He was doing acoustic, which already that was weird or different and unique. And then he was singing a song about North Korea.
00:10:34
Speaker
Must been about his grandfather or something. But people loved it, loved it. And I mean, I'm like, he's just like repeating it intensely, North Korea, North Korea. Wasn't really a good song or anything. It just, like you said, it fit a mindset of opening up one's perspective to see that guy do that.
00:10:57
Speaker
Sort of like when we see a white dude jump real high and double pump dunk. It's like, oh, damn. Oh, yeah. Get creative on the court. not just that Not just a three-point marksman. Like he's creatively making plays, right? Yeah, man. Attacking the rim. But we've talked about that a lot.
00:11:14
Speaker
Rarity. Rarity is interesting. It is, but but it's got to be – you can't just be like, I'm going to be rare. Well, you can, but it's – mean, yeah, I don't even think what I'm talking about that much is a race issue, but it's just a different style of bombing because you have a different style of success sometimes.
00:11:32
Speaker
You know, there's – like there's there's all – I don't know. It's different. The comedy is all the same but different. So don't know what I'm saying. I just got to get you out one of these. I think you you would enjoy That's wise. Yeah.
00:11:45
Speaker
I was going to start talking about it, but i didn't when I'm like, I don't feel like getting into it. I just want you to see an open mic and sing Lewis sometime. I just wish you were there last night. You would have loved it, man. That's all. Oh, that'd be great.
00:11:58
Speaker
ah ah Incidentally, I have a premise for, I think probably be good for a black comedian, to be honest. It's about how to fix healthcare and a new hospital in town and they're implementing, I don't know, the dumb motherfucker ratio.
00:12:13
Speaker
And so if you show up to the yeah ER and you just riff on different things that dumb ass people would do, you know, if you show up with something up your butt that you stuck up your butt and it got stuck there, which happens quite a bit in the ER,
00:12:26
Speaker
That's double the cost. I think i think a a black comedian in particular could take, embellish that people are dumb asses and then punch it up. But you'd have to be somebody that could be like, song dumb ass motherfucker.
00:12:41
Speaker
Yeah. What? This is a song or a bit? No, this would be a bit. i was just, I don't know. After watching a show, i was just like, oh, that would be in a nice premise to turn into a comedic bit, but it'd have to be the right type of personality.
00:12:55
Speaker
And you'd have to write it. so it's just fix healthcare is the bit. One of the comics I'm talking about last night, I believe I understood this correctly, that her bit was about her. She accidentally left her girlfriend's dildo in her and went to Walmart and it set the set the alarm off because it still had the barcode on it or something like that.
00:13:16
Speaker
that I think that was a joke. kind of kind like I'm not even kidding. That was Miss Shanti or some shit like that. Yeah. That stuck up her ass heading to the yeah ah ER, which I have a friend who or a family member who works at an ER and and it happens all the time.
00:13:32
Speaker
Stuff up butt and that that person would have to pay double. What a teaser, dude. If guys still not you're not wearing a helmet and you you know become a paraplegic, you pay triple.
00:13:44
Speaker
You pay triple because because you're dumb. This is actually pretty right wing. Because you're a dumb ass. Is it right wing? Well, just the idea of like, why do I have to fucking pay for this with your dumb ass?
00:13:58
Speaker
I got, um I should, I should get, I should link you up with one of these dudes. im Just write their shit? Yeah, well, you got, yeah, you can link up. They can perform what you're saying. It'll be something you have to test and work.
00:14:11
Speaker
It's just one of those. It's a little more complicated setup. So that's the problem with it. And you wouldn't want to be just like, oh, he got a shampoo bottle up his ass. Shit, you paying double, bitch.
00:14:22
Speaker
ah You need to give that to Steve Harvey. he would He would destroy that. i' know if he's still doing standup, but it's happening again, dude. yeah It's this computer. It's got to be.
00:14:33
Speaker
So I'm back on the computer that we had froze. I'm in the US. It's got to be this computer. It can't handle it, dude. Why would you use that thing? Just go to your phone. It's been, it hasn't been fucking, it hasn't been doing, it it's been fine all week. So I was like, oh, maybe, maybe, i i don't know. I read it. I relaunched Chrome. I did some updates. i was like, oh, it's fine. I'm just shutting everything down now. But it it was, I was like, oh, maybe it's fine, but I don't, it must not be.
00:14:56
Speaker
ah you Am I frozen? and open Yeah, you freeze in and out. Yeah, you're broke. Yeah, so whatever. want me run it on my phone? It'd probably be better, but it just makes for a tough combo, dude, especially when we're trying to riff off each other, dude, and get live, talking all black and shit. um Let me send – I'm going to log back in on my phone and see if it's better because is like – it's kind of annoying. I keep talking over you, and we need to be precise if we're doing racist stuff.
00:15:23
Speaker
Goddamn piece of shit. Alright, well at least I know. I mean, it's gotta to be because even when I was in Costa Rica, I used that other computer last week and it was great, right? Oh, it's perfect. Alright, well let's see if I can get it done on my phone. Alright, I'll be back in a second.
00:15:44
Speaker
Yeah, Big Dreams Basketball. We modify adjustable basketball hoops for pale-faced kids. yeah big dreams
00:15:59
Speaker
Come to your house in the suburbs and replace the height measurement sticker. Yeah, big dreams basketball. When your pale-faced kid thinks he's dunking on ten, he's actually dunking on nine feet.
00:16:17
Speaker
Yeah, big dreams basketball.
00:16:21
Speaker
Because believing you can jump high is the same as it being true.
00:16:35
Speaker
Let's see if this is better. Oh, it sounds better. Back on the phone. All right. This will be a nice little tranny. All right. I'd probably shut that shut. the Did we lose all that? Do we have to recapture all that?
00:16:49
Speaker
I don't know. i It doesn't matter. The show its all for our entertainment anyway. Well, it would be it'd be so sad if we lost all that. Maybe it's better. I think we were out of line.
00:17:00
Speaker
were out of line for 18 for eighteen minutes Out of line in what way? Just racist? Yeah, we're being racist.
Roots Down Fund for Conservation
00:17:09
Speaker
i think i think we're generally saying positive stuff.
00:17:13
Speaker
you you may You said that I've been distant lately through text, and I and i said, you know, i was text I was literally texting you last night from the comedy club, taking pictures of the other comics, engaging you.
00:17:27
Speaker
You were right. I don't want to rehash that, because I think we might have that saved. All right. So don't don't try to recreate shit that wasn't even that good in the first place. what What's going on in in ah in your world, Guy?
00:17:40
Speaker
what's What's going on in the the storeroom there at Wildwood Enterprises? The store is fine. mean, somebody just walked in and bought something like a couple hours ago. But more importantly, dude, I'm set up. The the Roots Down Fund is set up, ready to take money.
00:17:55
Speaker
i got a bank account. I got a a PayPal account. Zelle. You can Zelle money. If you would like to donate some money for forest conservation in Costa Rica, I'm ready to take it. I have a... It's tax deductible. Okay. how How do I know that you're reputable and it'll actually used for good? you are you Have you been reviewed by the charitable whatever foundation?
00:18:22
Speaker
you don't You don't know that and you're not gonna. You just have to take a ah leaf of faith and fucking give me money. It's like a new skateboard for Luca. Yeah, I'll just ship it down there. I would like i wouldn't like to know somebody from this show, some listener, give me 25 bucks. If you go on PayPal, the Roots Down Fund. That's me.
00:18:45
Speaker
I don't use PayPal, but give me the deets. Use Venmo? Venmo, I can use Zelle. Yeah, you can Zelle. don't want it to be... Well, I want your money too, but I would like someone else.
00:18:55
Speaker
It reminds me of something else. We'll get to that. But ah the details are So I have ah setup in the U.S. as ah a charitable company, like a nonprofit company. And then I would like to fundraise money here. Some of it from our wood business. Some of it from maybe some events.
00:19:10
Speaker
I'd like you to do a live concert. And then I take that money and then I give it to people that are doing good things in Costa Rica. There's a couple of people that I've talked to extensively that are literally like their goal is to just buy land and create these corridors for animals. So and and buy it's like buy it and don't do anything to it so that it doesn't go in the hands of like, you know, loggers, farmers, stuff like that, that just like comes and clears cut the forest.
00:19:38
Speaker
So, i like their I like what they're doing. It's easy for me to understand. They're experts at it. You you you buy the land, so you protect the land. You let it let nature take over, but then you also help the local community so they have some source of income around it, either taking care of it, guarding it, guided tours, that kind of stuff. so that they don't you know most ah A lot of people are are doing stuff in the forest. the The poor people are doing it out of necessity.
00:20:04
Speaker
The more like bigger companies are doing like industrial farming are doing because they need space. So they'll buy a forest make it a pineapple plantation or something that's like horrible for the local water system and yeah stuff like that.
00:20:19
Speaker
Wow. Do you know Costa Rica's overall economy in terms of food production? do you guys import a lot? Do I know? Probably not.
00:20:30
Speaker
ah No, I mean, there's obviously it's a great place to grow stuff. So there's a lot of local produce, local seafood. i don't know if we have grass-fed cows there. I think they're just called cows.
00:20:42
Speaker
they They're just normal. but I'm getting at food production is a necessity, and so there is balance to the ecosystem there. But also, like they probably have torn up a lot of forests there to their detriment.
00:20:56
Speaker
Well, you see a lot ah lot of Costa Rica in the news for for like people showering them with environmentalists for great work they've done. And and i I think they've they made an effort. it it had gotten like ah everywhere. it had gotten and to like A lot of the forest was destroyed like years and years ago, and now they're making efforts to stop it. But I mean i honestly don't really care if someone's a tree hugger or fucking holding an AR-15.
00:21:25
Speaker
That's great. Do whatever you want. i just It's not like I'm Greenpeace here. I just feel like these places are really, really cool. I like what these guys are doing. and And there are areas that can that can be protected and you're still going to have farming that works. And so if you're going to protect an area for for like animals' migration patterns, you need... like ah you know it's got It's got to be like fluid.
00:21:48
Speaker
So they're trying to build like a fluid protection area so that these animals can like migrate through it. like how you're ah running like hell from identity politics and you're like, well, I don't fucking care if you're like carrying a gun and you used to murder and rape children or if you're a fucking granola.
00:22:11
Speaker
Just like the forest. don't know why I went Southern there. i had to do a half Southern accent to make fun of you, but yeah. well people get a little carried away with their message about, oh, it's like, we're you got we we're doing like conservation. It's like,
00:22:24
Speaker
who Who cares what you what you're into? It's just like, you this is a cool part of the earth. like People that hunt should like like probably like to go to Yosemite or something or ah you know ah Yellowstone. It's like protected land.
00:22:37
Speaker
So it's like, oh good thing someone protected that, right? Whether you like to fucking kill or... It is a paradox because at least in America, there's a shit ton of people leaning right who tend to adopt anti-environmentalist stuff, but they all live out in the country. And
Balancing Development and Conservation in Costa Rica
00:22:56
Speaker
if we developed all that country, if we let all that country go, ah they'd be some depressed motherfuckers. So a lot of things don't align.
00:23:04
Speaker
But that industrial farming, industrial whatever, timber industry, it's it can't be left unchecked. It has to be balanced and we just don't do that in America. You you come up and say, hey, look, we wanna make sure there's less leaching of toxic chemicals into the water system from your farm. It's like oh, you motherfuckin' environmentalist. There's just a lot of that dipshittery in our country.
00:23:33
Speaker
I'm sure there's some of it in Costa Rica, but I don't, don't think you have to, you don't have to play off like, Oh, I don't fucking care, bro. I'm just like, give it you know, it's just cool. You can have a stance.
00:23:43
Speaker
Don't you think that is my stance? Okay. It's cool. It's cool to have for us. Nice. Yeah, i mean I just like the projects that they're doing. And i still eat bananas, you know?
00:23:55
Speaker
well i just think the messaging can get a little a little ridiculous sometimes. Like, we're all kind of the same. Everybody likes nature. Everyone needs a house. you know Everyone's eating and farm farm foods now. Not that many people are out killing and hunting and gathering. So to be like, we don't need farms, or we don't need this or that, or I don't use lumber is ridiculous. but You know, this is a, some remote areas in Costa Rica that we probably could live without destroying them.
00:24:23
Speaker
So let's try to protect them. And if you want to fucking shoot someone in the plains of the US, go ahead. Cause I don't live here anymore. So you want to be a gun-toting right-wing dude?
00:24:35
Speaker
fine I love you, man. Give me a hundred bucks. Well, this is an area I want to learn more about. Like I actually want to be involved in climate stuff as I think about this. But the it would be nice if we were somewhat more rational across the globe. and We could actually acknowledge like what types of crops really are more destructive to to farm and to harvest. And and what do we probably need to think about going without to be more rational stewards of the planet? What types of industries um has new tech come on board that we could transition to that new tech and and prevent a lot of issue? it's just people holding on
00:25:16
Speaker
to whatever it is they have. And ah in some ways that makes sense, but it'd be nice to, I think we'll reach a point, I guess, that we will reach a point here that'll be devastating. It'll be soon.
00:25:27
Speaker
And I'll be curious if people will still be holding onto that anti-environmentalist mindset when the beach side is is fucking literally flooding every other month or whatever the, you know, forecasted issues are going to be.
00:25:41
Speaker
It's still interesting me. I'd be open to adjusting my my life. And i don't know if this just a personality trait or what, but I'd be open to that for a number of issues. If there was some logic based on like, hey, look, pistachios, Lance, I know you like them, dude. They're just, it's just so much water that we can't do that in California anymore or whatever.
00:26:01
Speaker
Yeah, well, that's a... I mean, I don't have an answer to that. I, I just know, like, I, I hear a lot of people that did do now say that pineapple plantations are pretty rough. There's like a lot of chemical, like the pineapples that you get here that are giant. I don't think that's normal. So like, there's a lot of work that goes into that.
00:26:23
Speaker
Uh, and then, yeah, you know, like everything now that requires, uh, a lot of chemicals to get these things to look so beautiful. So, I mean, i on the one hand, though, like if you see a banana plantation, it's awesome.
00:26:38
Speaker
It's beautiful. All those big green leaves. But, you know, you're in these forests. they're probably like lot of bugs and stuff like that. So. Hmm.
00:26:49
Speaker
Yeah, bugs. I did read that, you know, apples used to be, it was kind of a crapshoot hundreds of years ago when you went to an apple tree, a natural apple tree, whether you'd get one that's sweet.
00:27:01
Speaker
And what they did over time is take the sweet ones and breed it and increasingly make them more sweet. And so the apples we eat today are like the most rare, freakishly delicious apples apple that was sitting on a natural apple tree hundreds of years ago. But they were able to do that like naturally, so to speak, just through...
00:27:22
Speaker
Well, I think there's plenty of pesticides in that farming as well, but I i think it's more. You're saying like with generations of apples. it's like Yeah, you you just breed. you take the i don't know how they do it. but i wish i i have i'm so i have no idea when people talk about that shit.
00:27:39
Speaker
Remember I was growing some weed and people are talking about like like hybrid strands and shit. I'm just like, what are you fucking talking about? How do you do that? um I have no idea. None.
00:27:51
Speaker
Yeah. i don't even do I don't even know if I eat soybeans, but there's all this talk about soybean production in the US. And I'm just thinking like, well, when when do I ever eat soybeans? It must be in a lot of stuff I eat.
00:28:03
Speaker
But... um Yeah, everything. it's But that's part of the reason I like this. like Because when I talk to these guys, it it was like pretty easy for me to understand. They were like, we buy the land, and then we leave it alone. And I was like, oh.
00:28:18
Speaker
That's like, there's that's like i can understand that. it's just like have the land you know just like somebody like you said it might not be environmentally conscious but maybe they just like being surrounded by wood so they buy up a hundred acres and they and it's just their land they're not uh environmentalist but they're actually preserving the land for their own enjoyment you know they do they have some hundred year charter or mission that prevents them from changing their mind and being like oh we can make a shit ton on this Yeah, that'd be funny at the end of this. They're all just like building these mansions and they're like, ha ha, we own 300,000 acres of land.
00:28:53
Speaker
All off donation. That would be the Trump family would do some shit like that. Get some donations, build some hotels. I could do it. I could do it myself. can buy a bunch of land, protect it, but put a little cabin on it and kick it, you know? You probably need to you probably need to find, I would think, at some point...
00:29:14
Speaker
Sadly enough, there probably is a something you gotta do to like commercialize it. Whether it's like, you know, shit like give people tours of these protected lands or or put a walking pass on it or something and then have local people guide it. Like there's, there's like, I mean, you're, you're talking about like amazing, beautiful.
00:29:34
Speaker
jungle that you're not going to see obviously in Colorado, but you're not going to see anywhere else in the world. And so it is like something to be protected. So a lot of Costa Rica is protected, but they're also doing it for like, so tourists can like see it, use it, you know?
00:29:50
Speaker
So it'll be like a protected park or something like that. That's great. I mean, anytime you put a path through a beautiful place or just any real nature, ah people benefit from it. I'm down with that. I wish we'd do more of that, but instead we want to fucking put a paved road or.
00:30:06
Speaker
So I really get pissed that through our national parks, and I know there's access issues and people can't all walk, but that there's so much pavement. There's so many roads that go through Rocky Mountain National Park.
00:30:19
Speaker
It's like, get these fat fucks out of their car. Yeah, it's ah like, what's the... What's better? But it's also a beautiful place and probably they use that money to keep it up and and all that. all that But yeah, you're right. it's like There's like a highway. like When it gets busy, like Yellowstone, it's like you're in fucking downtown New York City or something. yeah Glacier Park was miserable. It was like, oh, no parking. There's no parking. Oh, yeah, because...
00:30:46
Speaker
8 million people are here. Dude, Glacier, went to Glacier in October and it was like, that's when you're when it's not busy, it's maybe the most amazing place I've ever been. Like, but it's and it's insane.
00:30:59
Speaker
Like all the animals, how beautiful it is. It's pretty crazy. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know how to, I mean, I see what you're saying. Take a side, like, if you're gonna do an environmental cause, fucking tell everyone else to fuck off, and that's, you wanna do an environmental cause. But I just want it to be, you know, we're all, this is all stupid,
00:31:19
Speaker
full full philosophical bullshit, but we're not all, like, one thing. So it's probably people that are f- like, I'm selling wood, I had have to acknowledge that. I'm selling wooden shit that comes out of live trees.
00:31:30
Speaker
So it's not like I should be pointing fingers and be like, no, if you're gonna- if you're gonna support my cause, put your fucking guns down, or or whatever the joke may be, I don't really care. It's like, if I- if I raise a few thousand bucks, which I will, then... good, right?
00:31:48
Speaker
I don't fucking need to be, what's it, the the the girl that you have the poster on her on your wall? Greta or whatever? Hanging over your, I don't need to be Greta, dude. Yeah, but you need a Greta, given the fact that there is just one planet and we are, and this is where maybe you don't agree, but we are pushing the planet beyond what it's capable of sustaining.
00:32:11
Speaker
and And it's not just population, and actually population is predicted to go down. which will be a good thing for the environment, maybe not so good for GDP, but who gives a fuck about GDP? But the fact is we've, all across the the nation, whether it's fishing and um health of the seas, health of our rivers, chopping down forests, we've just done too much of it. And it'd be nice if that were one thing where humanity could come together a little bit more,
00:32:41
Speaker
and figure it out. Like, there's no reason to really do be doing a lot of basic transportation with fossil fuels. And and i so we still have cars that take gas, but it's just, there's not much reason. Like, we should have...
00:32:55
Speaker
really helped people to move beyond that a long time ago, um my opinion.
Innovative Environmental Solutions
00:33:01
Speaker
It's just not in our capacity though. it's there the The sides are so intense in protecting their interests. I don't know how we get past it, except and unless unless there's an insane crisis.
00:33:14
Speaker
So right now, jet fuel is really hard to come by in some countries. So I imagine they're coming up with, if they haven't already, some battery-based planes that can do short trips.
00:33:26
Speaker
They already are. I've seen those like, yeah yeah, electric sort of like hybrid between a helicopter and a plane type looking thing or something like that. Yeah. Well, I only have so many cycles, dude, so I can only tackle one major environmental issue at a time.
00:33:44
Speaker
right now dude it's matt conti at the rootsdownfund.com zell let's do it people get out there now what's a as a as a close friend what's a respectable donation one where you're like oh god land just like lance is like oh dude 50 bucks what a pussy no i think 50 would be great if i get you 50 marty coming in for 25 kim my friend kim 25? Yeah, I would like i think those are our three listeners. You, Marty, and Kim.
00:34:14
Speaker
what's the um that' What's it again? Matt? Matt Conti at therootsdownfund.com
00:34:26
Speaker
Sweet. i'm trying to get venmo is Venmo and PayPal are tied together. ah This episode should be about my, my lazy and overcome my every second of my life is overcoming ah such a high level of laziness.
00:34:39
Speaker
I don't even know how I'm here, but, uh, yeah. So I, so to get Venmo set up, you have to open a PayPal account, which I did. Now you went silent, dude. Just constant.
00:34:58
Speaker
Piece shit. Can you hear me? Now you're back. Somebody was calling me. Oh, so it shuts you off? fucking Probably a customer, dude. Yeah. This podcast is doomed, dude. It's fucking doomed.
00:35:10
Speaker
Yeah, sorry. i'm I'm looking at... i want to see what the PayPal account is, though. Because not everyone can do Zelle. Right? Ah. Yeah, so what was I saying? Oh, so to get Benmo set up, you have to you have to you have to go through PayPal and then you have to prove that you're a non-profit.
00:35:27
Speaker
and one of the I had to sent my government, my you know, my brother's a lawyer, so he he got my company, he got this thing set up, but you have to have um you have to show them bank statements, but I just got my bank statement yesterday, so I can't do that.
00:35:41
Speaker
what What is this about, dude? Is this like- I get skeptical. No,
Business Ethics in Conservation Efforts
00:35:46
Speaker
I'm just curious why you're you you're already so busy. You got two young kids. I'm just like, what what what is driving this? Is this like legacy or you know a lack of religion or other- or Do you think I'm a legacy guy, dude? You think I give a fuck about my i know, but is it guilt?
00:36:04
Speaker
No. Is it like a lark to- won do other things, but you need sort of motivation to do those other things, like throw a comedy show. No, here's the the base of it is just that. So we were we wanted to, I mean, we wanted to advertise part of it is we wanted to say, hey, we're we're giving back. So people that are worried about it, we're we're giving back to the rainforest because people are be like, are you cutting down the rainforest? It's like, no, we're not. and And not only are we not, we're trying to help. So we were so I had I found these companies I believed in. They're European companies, but like nonprofit people. And I talked to the board members and I talked to like so I got I had.
00:36:44
Speaker
really good conversations with these guys and and we were like, we would like to say that we support you, Wildwood Edges. And they were like, well, we like I told them how the the trees get harvested, how we look for we take some fallen trees sometimes and are the trees are RFID tracked and there's rules and blah blah blah. And they were like, great, you have good sustainability practices.
00:37:07
Speaker
And we need to go talk to our board though because we we need, everything has to be approved if we're gonna be like co-marketing and stuff. So so what the first person got back to me was like, some people on our board don't like us, like like don't like you guys mentioning us on your website.
00:37:23
Speaker
But here's another group that might. So I talked to another group, same thing, great great rapport. These guys are now like my friends and shit, I gotta go talk to the board. They got back to me and were like, Yeah, there's a few people that don't want to get in the bed with people that are harvesting big ass old growth trees to make tables.
00:37:39
Speaker
So then I just was like,
00:37:43
Speaker
what if I just have my own nonprofit in between, in between these two things? And then, uh, they were like, well, that's a fucking awesome idea.
00:37:54
Speaker
Who's they? We don't care. These, these, yeah these European conservation groups, they're probably friends with your girl. Actually, these guys are in Amsterdam or in, uh, in the Netherlands.
00:38:05
Speaker
I don't get it. I don't get it. So now you have like this intermediary that makes them feel more comfortable. Yeah, so now they've money they now they're taking money from the Roots Down Fund. Not from Wildwood Edges.
00:38:17
Speaker
So my 50 bucks goes to these pussies? These Europeans? Right now. but um but then So then I started to think about it. Let me finish. so So then I thought, well, the now I can actually, if I have this, I can just do any sort of fundraising I want, which is what I've talked about. So it's not, it has nothing do wild with Wildwood Edges. Wildwood Edges will support, well will donate money to the Roots Down Fund based on our sales and based on whatever my partners are comfortable with. But let's just say it's 500 bucks a month. Great.
00:38:47
Speaker
It goes to Roots Down Fund and then Roots Down Fund will determine where who it goes to. But then it kind of clicked on me as I re on this new journey back into stand up and trying to get you off your ass to do stuff. I was like, this might be, this might be, this might tie it all together.
00:39:05
Speaker
Cause I'm like, if I have this, I could, this actually could be my job. Once I'm, once I feel like, you know, you know how we do in the U S once I feel financially secure, then I can completely help, uh, the world.
00:39:19
Speaker
Because i think this ah this would be pretty fun as you get older and you feel more comfortable and you're you're facing retirement and you don't necessarily not want to do anything. if like i like this I like this setup because all they really need is money.
00:39:33
Speaker
right like they just They need money. There's some some biologists from Amsterdam that know how to and know how to handle the forest, give them money. They they have you know banking people that buy the land and these they stick some...
00:39:46
Speaker
Some dudes down there that know what's going on and they're fucking all excited every time but ah ah a frog on the endangered species list is born. They're fucking excited. So this was easy. So so the the original path was just how how do I get money out of Wildwood Edges? like Because we decided we wanted to give some money and get it to these guys. And I i prefer to give it to Costa Rica because that's what we're harvesting. And then now my brain's starting to go, huh, if I set it up right, then...
00:40:15
Speaker
i could I could literally just ask anyone for money and it'll go to a good cause. Wow. Now, I don't know that your other answer, your other is like, are you you what are you is it legacy? you're trying Are you guilty?
00:40:26
Speaker
ah No, I just think it's, you know, that is my home. um and empty It is my home and just going, I'm just going to extract whatever I can out of these people is is ridiculous. But it's a business decision. Let's be honest to the audience.
00:40:46
Speaker
I don't really have to do this. I mean, i don't i don't know it's a business decision. like I don't know how much is going to help my business, but it's it's a business decision. y'all Okay, you're right, Lance. It's a business decision. No, I don't i don't know. i mean, is it good for our... i Actually, you'd be surprised. Maybe you wouldn't be surprised, but you would you probably can get an idea of the people that are coming in here from like rural parts of Missouri and Illinois to buy buy wood.
00:41:11
Speaker
and not not Not too many of them are asking us if we have if we're doing a ah conservation fund or or where these trees come from. None of them are. and and But it is ah a little suspicious. I mean, why didn't you target disadvantaged youth through professional wrestling or something? Great question.
00:41:30
Speaker
ah but Now that I have this set up, the the possibilities are endless. Okay. So we can get you know disadvantaged white youth in the rural command communities working on professional wrestling moves to build self-esteem and hopefully rise up through that industry and Well, I would say shoot me an email and when I have time to take a look at your plans, I'll i'll get it in. now week you What if the thing is fucking...
00:41:57
Speaker
but Like, ah you know, oh there's some neighborhood down there that's under, the kids are underserved and we want to build the Lance Gilloff UNC scholarship fund to get them up there. What if, what if, what if, but the the reality is, is you set set this up because you are raping the forest for trees and not one, nothing positive out of you. No, no, no. You are. I mean, it it is, it is stems from a business decision and it's all valid and it's good. No matter where it came from. You're right.
00:42:26
Speaker
through your vicious jokes, I wouldn't have done this if it wasn't because of this business. But it i it's like, it just allowed me to look into like what's going on and then I, you know,
00:42:39
Speaker
Through my fucking laziness, somehow I still manage to like talk to these people, find these people and talk to them and validate, at least validate them. I don't know how how I actually did it. Dude, my every day I'm like almost not getting anything done. It's been the way like my whole life. I'm on the edge of... just like i'm so I'm so lazy. I wonder what that is.
00:43:03
Speaker
Wow, you're a piece of shit. That's true. Do you feel lazy at all? Um... Not really. Well, I feel disconnected at times with the decisions I've made at times where I'm just like, dude, what are you doing?
00:43:17
Speaker
Do you feel like an urge to either half-ass stuff or procrastinate? No, it wasn't really in my blood. Like I went through in a few days, repainted all of this wrought iron, this super ornate. if If you don't know what wrought iron is, like metal ornate decorative gating and, and,
00:43:36
Speaker
whatever stuff around the house. I love it, man. I fucking love wrought iron. Yeah. Well, you could get in that business too, probably. But it's sort of like the table legs, but really ornate versions of your table legs all around my house. Yeah, but I didn't sit and procrastinate. I bust that shit out. And it was at least 40 hours of painting.
00:43:55
Speaker
I could get down with that stuff, actually, like little projects. But I don't know. Like... and And I know but like this and people going to be what are you talking about? You started a business. You're doing this.
00:44:08
Speaker
You're doing stand-up. But I'm also like, I'm i'm half-assing everything. I'm just on the edge of nothing getting accomplished. it's oh I don't see it. It's just ah it's just a weird ah personality. You probably think I'm fishing for compliments. No, it's sort of like a jank bit.
00:44:26
Speaker
No, I'm not, dude. I've been like... lazy. I've been, like, on the edge of the verge of extreme laziness for my whole life. I don't know how. But, like, I get around it by doing lazy things that actually are...
00:44:41
Speaker
Like, for example, jogging. People might be like, oh, that's great. You go jogging. But it's it's still a lazy move because there's really nothing to it. You just walk outside and jog. like people that I'm not like you know doing interval checking. this like I know i can if I put my feet in front of the other one at a reasonable pace for an hour, I'll be fine. But it's like the laziest way I can exercise is to jog for an hour, hour 20. Hour 20.
00:45:05
Speaker
hour twenty That's a long time. yeah People might be like, well, that's not fucking lazy. But it is actually lazy. like It is lazy. I don't get it I don't know what you're talking about, but I mean, I think you have, you have a, uh, maybe more of an issue of coming across like you don't really care.
00:45:20
Speaker
I'm not, I'm not fishing for compliments here. I really am lazy. Hold on. No, you're not. But like your forest pitch. Oh, you know, it's just fucking cool. I don't know. Do you like forest? I like forest. Fucking cool. That's all I'm doing. What do you want me to be more like fucking left wing environmentalist? No, i want you to be like, don't have that.
00:45:38
Speaker
The Costa Ricans have raped the land. They have literally raped the land. They haven't. You got to get into the, what the plight of Central America. It's
Motivational Approaches to Environmentalism
00:45:46
Speaker
all your people up there in US. Yeah, the whites have raped the land. Whoever it is. United Fruit Company, yeah. I want to call them out. I want to make them feel, I want to shame them and then get as much money as possible through shame and anger. It won't work, but your version's better. But still, come up with a pitch so that you can be interviewed on podcasts.
00:46:06
Speaker
Well, I am going to say that.
00:46:10
Speaker
My daughter's asking me if this beach... i'm like um um My daughter's asking me if she should go out surfing right now at Playa Avellanas, dude. Dude, this podcast is literal second, third fiddle for you.
00:46:24
Speaker
is. Isn't that exciting? It is. It's not top of mind, bro. No, it is, dude. I'm going to start responding to texts, dude. I don't care if it's your stupid kids. Jesus Christ.
00:46:37
Speaker
it's important, dude. Once you get into surfing, dude, when you guys make the jump. When I set up my fucking office and hi and put you guys in charge of it, when the office is like up near the North Pacific Airport.
00:46:48
Speaker
You and your wife and inundated with fundraising bullshit. Oh, we're booking fucking Chris Rock for fundraiser this week. Next week, it's the weekend. Next week, it's ah fucking, you know, Brett. Black Eyed Peas for Jake.
00:47:02
Speaker
Fucking. what's What's the? No, it's Brett Michaels. ah Poison? Yeah. Yeah. ah I like how it's like you you farm off the fundraising, which happens to be the absolute most challenging and hardest part of a nonprofit.
00:47:19
Speaker
Farm that off to some people so that you can kind of just play figurehead. Come on, dude. Really? to You guys, you don't you think the fundraising now and like at least is with this set up and the ability to take money should be pretty easy?
00:47:35
Speaker
it At scale, it's probably pretty hard because of the trust issues. So you you you will have to build some sort of infrastructure to show where are the money's flowing to and and exactly, and and do the feedback or the whole, close the loop and show where it's being used.
00:47:54
Speaker
I think, I already i have that information, but I think you're... you're giving You're giving people weight a lot of credit, dude. You might be digging into the details, but a lot of people are like, oh, okay, seriously, it's a nonprofit? Here's some money. Feel good about themselves. You'll get a few bucks, but I'm saying at scale, if you want people to be ah like have auto renew,
00:48:15
Speaker
of donations in their daily financial life cycle. And you want all that going, bro. but this is let's Let's get it started here, but like, I'm just talking about the future. This is the core what I'm saying.
00:48:27
Speaker
I got this far and i might this is it. It's the laziness. You're right. I should be getting bleeding heart pussies to be like, here's 500 a month and and it's and get them to feel like it's never enough and and do all these other things.
00:48:41
Speaker
And be committed and have pictures of like a dying bird somewhere, you know, like pull the tug on the strings. But my laziness won't let me. This is about as far as I can get. And if this Venmo, if I can't get the right doc for this Venmo thing, that's going away too.
00:48:55
Speaker
You just shut it down. because i' got No fucking follow through. I think you're on the right end of the cycle here though, because environmentalism I think has been on the outs in terms of like, ooh, it's cringe and oh, you icky environmentalist.
00:49:13
Speaker
And I think it's gonna come back hard. And if you get on the front end of it could be big because it's- Yeah, go ahead, go We're all gonna feel it. People are starting, even the dumbs, the MAGA dumbs are feeling the impacts.
00:49:28
Speaker
you think anyone should or will give a shit about this though? A place that you'll never see probably and it's just a beautiful rainforest in the middle of nowhere.
00:49:40
Speaker
I think the logical starting point is to tie it with the sales of your table and then to introduce it as an option to round up or add five, add 10, add 15 bucks or something like that for this particular cause. That's the most logical place to put it. But just running around at open mics and hawking it from your friends and stuff, that's not sustainable. but No, no, but i but I'm not... Yeah, I'm not gonna do it at fucking open mics. But i mean, I actually saw an old friend ah Tuesday who's like blowing up ty like with with these other comics that are you know or household names.
00:50:14
Speaker
And I'm kind of going... Shit, I could shoot for the stars with some sort of really star-studded show and just be like, let's fucking do it, dude. You guys gotta do this for me when they do it. Half these stupid comics, not this guy, but ah these other comics always talking about how great their trip and to Costa Rica was to do ayahuasca and shit.
00:50:36
Speaker
You know, it's like, hey, what why why don't you go ahead and give a little bit back? So all you did was go do ayahuasca at some gringo's farm for 10 grand for a week. You didn't really help anybody. I'm not going to pitch it that way, but they they're probably, all those people probably would be like, oh, I love Costa Rica. I'll help out.
00:50:53
Speaker
That's their voice. That's how they talk. i like the I like the environmental stuff. That's what I'm going to say. I don't even if it goes nowhere. I can even put you on the board. i didn't I didn't put anyone else on the board, but you can be a board member if you want. If you show me something, kiddo. All right, dude. um But it's ah no matter where it goes, it's still if you gave 10 bucks, it's it's fine.
00:51:18
Speaker
and i don't know like you know i'm not environmentalist what i mean is i don't know a lot about it so i really don't know if this would be like you could tell me that colorado is destroying itself and need something like this or i don't it seems like the scale in the us is like hard to deal like someone would be like we got to go out and raise a half a billion dollars or something stupid you know yeah but yeah colorado has a severe weather problem for sure that's caused by climate change but it also has a a terrible layout and it's car addicted.
00:51:50
Speaker
And so we should have incentivized electric a lot earlier in the state, but in a much bigger, much bigger way. But our problem is fucking cars flying around this sprawl of a front range.
00:52:03
Speaker
And then but there's a lot of fire hazard for the mountains because they haven't managed the forest. But I also, I don't know, I always come back to like, I don't think places like Colorado were ever meant to support that much humanity. And so there's just a resource issue that's like water, for example. It's ah it's a dry place. There's never been water there, right? but we But we could because we're headwaters of the mountains. It's just that everybody else is trying to suck suck on our...
00:52:29
Speaker
river jizz right yeah so i guess the colorado river for example is all going to agriculture in california or somewhere right wherever somewhere somewhere nebraska takes some of our nebraska has some issues with us trying to sue us maybe some groundwater thing i'm not sure Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, but I think whatever you do with this, did fine. these are But these are like, this all comes back what I was saying. I i can't wrap my head around all that shit, at least i'm not right now. And so this is one thing I could wrap my head around.
00:53:00
Speaker
Yeah, think it's great. And I'm not patting myself on the back. Again, I am going half-ass that as much as I'm saying I don't really care. I am not... any way, thinking that I'm a better person because I'm doing this, I just think it's easy. if somebody I would like to get a few people to throw some money in. Because the other thing is, if I have some money, then I can probably go out and get more money.
00:53:21
Speaker
If that makes any sense. Like if I, oh, I really do want to put on a show or something. need some money to support it. So if I can get some so shit going and then also the, the people that I'm working with, like they're, they'll see that I'm for real and probably want to, want to get behind me as well, you know?
00:53:38
Speaker
And cause they don't really have a foothold in the U they have a lot of like big European donors. But they don't have a foothold there. So once they realize, once they see one of my sets, dude, one of my seven-minute comedy sets, they'll know that they're in with the reels.
00:53:51
Speaker
Once they see that my comedy show produced a net donation of $248, they are going to recognize. Dude, I also would like to do show like...
00:54:04
Speaker
a fundraising show that's not you know it has not is nothing cleaned up about it so like i've been working on a new joke that's finally starting to hit a little bit but it's about special olympics and special olympics athletes like it would be funny to be doing like a conservation show just but just on like just whatever the comic always says he's gonna say anyways that's what i'm like i like as well like the like the jerry lewis telethon where he's just doing cock jokes and exactly anal stuff But he's like, money doesn't lie, bitches. you want