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Community Cures Boredom
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The pieces conclude that talking to people feels good.
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Urgency in Financial Strategies
00:00:10
Speaker
If you want to 10 times, 100 times, or even 1,000 times your money, you need to do three things today. Not tomorrow, not in one week, not after you attend your cousin's wedding in Charlotte. You need to start today.
00:00:22
Speaker
Number one, stop listening to the people you love. The people you love want the best for you. They want you to be safe. What seems safe now will end up killing you. Number two, stop educating yourself.
00:00:35
Speaker
Stop reading books, stop attending seminars and classes. Did someone teach the street hustler how to hustle? Hell no, the hustler learned on the streets. Do, don't think, do.
00:00:46
Speaker
Number three, build a passive income stream. Nobody got rich working for someone else. Don't find a job, find a profitable passive income generating business. Your money needs to work for you while you're sleeping, while you're brushing your teeth or sitting on the toilet.
00:01:01
Speaker
Passive income opportunities are everywhere. You just need to find them.
Reflections and Social Dynamics
00:01:25
Speaker
Trust me. Trust me.
00:01:34
Speaker
Jesus loves us. Jesus loves us. Jesus loves us. Jesus loves us. Jesus loves us. Jesus loves us.
00:02:00
Speaker
Fucking fucking fucking fucking who's that dude I'm not gonna say will not say dude I will not say look back and and uh I have positive memories of all the all the women our high school and they should all be commended Maybe some of the guys, but I don't know. Actually, I think um i think of i think of most of the people we hung out with or didn't hang out with, but whatever, we're around.
00:02:27
Speaker
i have positive memories of um almost everybody. Yeah. How about that, dude? Good for you. Reflect. Good for you. It's because I bring out humor in everyone, so everyone gets funny and engaging around me, you know?
00:02:43
Speaker
You're also what the young kids call an NPC, whereas I was a main character. I bet you there's a shitload of people in our high school that think you're a fucking... the the title of our show.
00:02:55
Speaker
Think you're an asshole because of your main characterness. But I bet you i would i bet i bet you couldn't find one person from EHS from the years of maybe... maybe the Maybe the losers that were older than us. that That generation of fucking toolboxes. But even those guys. I bet you couldn't find one person that a problem with me. I bet I could find 20 that thought you're an asshole. Yeah.
00:03:19
Speaker
i I buy that, no doubt. i would I would point out to our listeners, like I don't know, I would say our high school was not a normal high school, but if if it was an 80s film, just because of who you were, you took on probably the role of a sort of buff, football-playing, intimidating guy. And so a lot of people are probably like, fuck that guy, whether they even knew you or not.
00:03:45
Speaker
Think that's fair? Yeah, of course. But, however, when I socialized beyond the meatheads, people were pleasantly surprised. and i You held your own, huh? Yeah.
00:04:00
Speaker
And then they became lifelong allies. i feel like I introduced you into that intellectual. Just kidding. and And also, i ah with my combat boots and my my weird outfits, I got a little bit of the radical theatrical side of the house that you probably,
00:04:18
Speaker
If you were to walk into those environments, you wouldn't even know it hit you. Actually, that's a fair point. I think people probably just thought you were nuts. I remember I used to go hang out party with these baseball players from, from I might have mentioned this back in our seniors, but Smokey Hill kids.
00:04:34
Speaker
and there are And a few of them who end up being like some of my best friends are like, what's going on with that dude, Lance? Yeah. Which is like ah not necessarily he's an asshole. Just like, is that that said someone you don't want to fuck with?
00:04:48
Speaker
was like, nah, he's got a good voice. Yeah. He's cool. He's cool. I saw him pick up a dead bird and bite the head off, bro. But he's cool. At football practice.
00:04:59
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. But that the persona. We're both carrying it through life, actually. And this weekend, I was exposed to quite a few social social events. Yuck.
00:05:10
Speaker
And I just find myself as quick as I possibly can with without any conscious thought, having to slip in something dirty, something, some curse word that doesn't need to be there.
00:05:25
Speaker
It's like an inevitability. inevitability It's somewhat frustrating, but also... I can find my people pretty quick. Had a great conversation with this gal from who then was like, this is the card that I hand guys I want to date.
00:05:41
Speaker
And it's like a business card and sort of like entices them to, uh, To get back to her or something? Yeah. Call her, hit her up on Instagram or something. And that just wouldn't happen with a normal douchebag conversation, right? You got to like, you got to massage this, this girl into like being comfortable with that.
00:06:00
Speaker
My gift, bro. i got I need more info since you brought that up. Well, don't want to out her because I know she's probably going to listen now. Well, one. Just kidding. Oh yeah. I will say, did you drop the show on her? Probably not, right? No, I don't drop the show because this was like an event of the financial nerds.
00:06:16
Speaker
And a bunch of people i I hadn't met, so I don't drop the show on them. So A, how old? And B, did you take it as like she was implying that you'd be on the list that would get a business card?
00:06:29
Speaker
ah No, my wife was with me, so we were talking to her together, actually. That doesn't always scare away, Trim, bro. You know that. True. you know that, dude. That. True that, buddy. Yeah.
00:06:41
Speaker
Plus, maybe you look like more of a catch standing next to your wife, and maybe that that intrigues other women. There's weird stuff going on in their heads, I've heard. Well, I look like a fucking triathlete that's won lot.
00:06:57
Speaker
So she, that's ah i like that. I mean, I'm not, I'm not big on like hitting on women. So if she's going to call me up from the minors, it's like, here's the card. She just like spells it out for you.
00:07:08
Speaker
You call that number. We're going to go out on a date, huh? Yeah, no, I thought it was interesting. And I sort of like the quirky people a little bit more. I just want to know if you think she needed to. Like, I don't know how to say this, if you're afraid she's listening. But because she walk into a party and everyone's like kind of turn their head like, at that.
00:07:26
Speaker
Good looking, beautiful girl. Or is this like, because it it almost if you said no, she's like, I don't know, like whatever your version of not that attractive is. And she's it but she's like, it almost sounds like she's can overcome it with forwardness and carerot charisma.
00:07:40
Speaker
No, she was attractive, but she was a redhead. So that was the problem. Psycho. Fucking psycho, dude. Real red, like Ronald McDonald red? No. a Pretty Irish woman. Yeah, Irish red. No.
00:07:53
Speaker
Cool girl. I just thought it was a... Right. She said she only handed out two cards. so In her life or at the party? Ever. I think it was more of an idea. Let's let's let's be honest. But I just thought it was cool she shared it because it made me laugh.
00:08:09
Speaker
That's fucking funny. And you, and you get, you think that with your quirkiness, you get to, you get people are like, I'm going to share with this guy. Cause boring corporate father asshole at the party is not getting that info. Is that what they're not? No. And, uh,
00:08:24
Speaker
I had some mostly painful conversations. ah We both get there, by the way. we just have different different techniques. Totally different, yeah. We would really dominate, dude. If we were together for the last 25 years, we would have dominated.
00:08:37
Speaker
Yeah, we would have. You probably ah build more like lasting bridges between nobodies or randoms at a party, whereas I'm sort of trying to chase off the people that I know I'm not going to vibe with.
00:08:50
Speaker
I noticed lately, i like like you I don't know if it's this for you, but I like to catch people off guard with a comment. Yes. my Love it. You're good at it, too. You're good at it.
00:09:02
Speaker
And and if if someone responds, like, they're quick, they're almost quicker than me, I... i i In my head, they're like Einstein. I'm just like, this is the greatest person ever.
00:09:14
Speaker
like It's on, baby. Yeah. yeah I'm just like, cow i'm like damn. you're ah There is a guy that there is a comedian saying to I don't want to know. Oh, no one's listening, so it doesn't matter.
00:09:24
Speaker
But I made a comment to him about that he must have been dating this other person who's like really large. And it was like I was kind of ripping on a little bit, but it was a joke. Right. And he quickly shot back something like, well, you should have you should have seen her. She was 10 pounds lighter.
00:09:40
Speaker
And I was like, I'm going to help this guy get shows because that was fucking funny because she's probably 400 pounds. you know I was like that. and That was great. And yeah, i mean.
00:09:52
Speaker
Do you get, are you looking for someone, when you're like throwing out cock or doing your thing at a party, looking for someone to roll with it? Are you just, you like the absurdity of it? Or just like to look at your wife's face and be like, watch it and be like, here we go again.
00:10:05
Speaker
All of the above. But let me say it's probably 155 for 155 of talking talking shit about fat people on this show. Every episode. Sad. It's sad and pathetic.
00:10:16
Speaker
I can do it, dude. I fluctuated weight in my life. I've been up to 185, dude. a
00:10:24
Speaker
By the way, i'm in the fat I'm probably the fattest I've ever been right now. oh if i If you see me in Denver, I don't understand why, though. like I don't feel like I'm fat. But the the scale begs to differ.
00:10:36
Speaker
Yeah, I'm gaining weight too. always do in the summer though. I get the love handles because I drink beer and- You go you gain weight in the summer? Yeah, because I eat way more. I'm not sure what it's about. Maybe that's extra exercise.
00:10:48
Speaker
I just fucking mowed down last night like an enormous pig. But back to this conversation because I find it interesting. Yes. There was a time when I was younger, even today, it's almost like a if it's a with a woman and they catch that wit and they can come back with it, it's a sexual attraction regardless of how they look. It's like a a semi, like my my wiener gets like sort of flush.
00:11:15
Speaker
you know You ever had that feeling? I know you don't like to talk about your penis. Mine goes in the hole. It gets like a cold. like i'm cool I get intimidated. It's like intimidating if a woman's funnier than me.
00:11:27
Speaker
My dick's like, I'm going up inside later. That's sad. No, it is like it is a thing. You wouldn't you don't really like... I'll cut that part man It's okay. You can keep it in.
00:11:38
Speaker
Mine turns into a badge if if a woman's funnier than me. Keep it in, Lance, please. ah yeah you don't People don't list that as as things that make a woman attractive. A girl would be like sense of humor and kindness. and i got and like But it is it is something.
00:11:56
Speaker
i'm I'm not like looking for someone who's like ripping jokes all the time, but someone who's like quick-witted, can come back, and somebody i consider a sense of humor is somebody who thinks I'm funny. but But not necessarily just because they think I'm funny. like If you're doing your thing at a party...
00:12:10
Speaker
and Or I'm just making a stupid comment and they're like offended or or bothered or like what I think of them as as like an idiot, guy or girl. I'm just like, that's not a smart person. Yeah. And so, yeah, so it's attractive, but it's also like, ah I don't know. It's more about like, all right, can we can we flow more than like, are you fucking Richard Pryor?
00:12:29
Speaker
yeah Yeah, yeah. I feel you. But I actually am curious about the the physical feeling because I felt it all my life. Love the dick. Well, not just it's it is it's a it's the blood flow does change and almost immediately.
00:12:43
Speaker
Obviously, it was bursting at the seams when I was younger. But if there is that vibe and it starts with the ability to connect with humor, it's an interesting physical feeling.
00:12:55
Speaker
And I don't know, that's the maybe the nature of attraction to some degree. i I hear what you're saying. Are you talking about when that person's funny or when you make make ah someone laugh, a woman or whatever? like Both. When there's a mutual connection that the vibe, they they catch the same vibe.
00:13:12
Speaker
They get it. They're okay with it. They're cool. They're ready to roll. i mean, i'm not saying I'm going around with boners or something. It's just a nice physical feeling. I agree.
00:13:23
Speaker
Yeah. But does that, is it enhanced when that you happen to be attracted to, to, to the person? Yeah. Especially if it's novel. So suppose you're shooting the shit with an African-American woman and, and I've had this before where it's like, oh, the vibe is there. And it's just an immediate, like,
00:13:42
Speaker
curiosity, but it's also physical. I just find that interesting. We don't need to explore, you know, what happens to the penis, how much blood goes in there. We don't need to explore all that. I know you want to, bro, but I just can't do it for you.
00:13:56
Speaker
I mean, I, it's a great, it's a great feeling when you're making a, a woman laugh, enjoy yourself. It's yeah. It's as good as any, I believe. say I mean, you threw in the African-American thing there.
00:14:10
Speaker
i think I think that's even better because you you might come to the table thinking that you're not going to relate to this person. or This person's just going to be like, fuck you, white boy. And then when you do relate to them and ah and with ah with and with humor, it's like, it's it's it's amazing, right? and you're like, bam. Yeah, there was this girl and I worked with.
00:14:27
Speaker
Well, there are actually a couple, but this one in particular that just like, I don't know, she got my shit. She didn't hold against me that i was a a white dude, bald white dude. she just was She just rolled with it, and it was good.
00:14:42
Speaker
yeah I remember you kept texting me about her sweet ass, dude. Yeah, I felt good down there. felt really good. Like when I was... It's the same feeling. You remember when rubbing your cock on the rope when we had to climb the rope in gym class and you're kind of like, this is weird. It's the exact same feeling. ah Boom. I got no positive, nothing about that. Have you ever ever fell? I've fallen, like you you climb the rope and then go down the rope and there's that big knot on the end. have you ever racked yourself on that?
00:15:09
Speaker
The worst. I've not. The worst. You're already fucking... coming down the rope hot, your hands are burning. But if you hit it, it's like perfectly situated to just fucking speed bag your balls. But it's more like, I guess, like a Mike Tyson punch to the balls and speed back.
00:15:26
Speaker
But yeah, so I have no positive. what Your description, your visual that you just gave me just led to a negative. No, it's the exertion on the up. It's nothing to do with going down. ah Anyway. Going down. This other, yeah. This other guy,
00:15:41
Speaker
at this party, the way he wrapped his conversation up with me. What's this party, by the way? which Which I had disdain for. It's just a fucking potluck. Just people getting together, socializing. It's your financial group?
00:15:53
Speaker
It's people that have the same sensibility, okay? And I've sent sensibility now, are probably six episodes in a row. I have no idea why. Marty's probably doing shots to sensibility now. ham Yeah, but I need i need
Financial Communities and Social Engagements
00:16:05
Speaker
more info. like Okay, well, hold on. This motherfucker first wrapped up a conversation with me like,
00:16:10
Speaker
Okay, good. Well, I guess I'll keep mingling. Now... That sounds like Colorado, Littleton, Colorado right there. We were out in Nevada, bro. Oh, my bad.
00:16:22
Speaker
Fucking Compton. is It was a group of white people, and so that's who does that. there It was pretty diverse, actually. I'm sure he didn't get the business card from the other girl with that dumbass bullshit. No, and I'll never talk to him again.
00:16:38
Speaker
If I see him anywhere else, I'll never speak to him. umm and yeah You should boycott is That is unacceptable. I will not talk to you again. Why don't you go mingle, fuck face?
00:16:52
Speaker
Because I'm not spending any time with you. So this this is like in this financial group, you guys go talk about whatever you guys talk about. And then someone's like, let's have a party and let's have a get together. And then all these people actually showed up.
00:17:05
Speaker
It's a big community, but it's people a lot of people are retired, so And a lot of people are retired young. People in their 30s, they're retired so-called retired. I mean, they do all kinds of shit. but Because they did what you did, like save 90% of their income or whatever? Yeah. So everybody has a bit of the same mindset, and they're just trying to live life in all sorts of creative and different ways. That's what makes it interesting.
00:17:26
Speaker
But there's also a big contingent or at least a vibe of ah egghead sort of deep financial nonsense that's that's pretty fucking boring. Mm-hmm. But they're not they're not like fringe weird financial concepts and shit, or maybe some of them are. I don't know.
00:17:43
Speaker
there There's stuff that's the average theorist. No, none of that. None of that. It's all hardcore mechanics, personal finance. But a lot of the people like to go real deep into that.
00:17:53
Speaker
I'm not that interested in that. I'm more i'm actually more interested in the conspiracy theory type shit. Yeah. We know. sir.
00:18:04
Speaker
ah that's ah That's interesting. Well, good for you. How many how many times are you going to these things? A couple times a week, probably. And the boss, is she's on board, she likes going to these things, or she just being a supportive wife?
00:18:17
Speaker
She likes it. she like we mean Over time, you meet some people that you vibe with, and it's just like hanging out.
00:18:24
Speaker
Supportive wife, that's what I just heard. yeah It sounds pathetic. It does sound pathetic because like it's a bunch of people that invest in stocks, have done pretty well for themselves, but in a in a completely different way than you would expect or you or are we we put in our head as possible.
00:18:44
Speaker
And we're all like minded. It's pathetic. Do you get the you get the idea that everyone's like, soup is it like a different level of sort of stress relief people and happiness? Is everyone like just kind of floating around like, huh, I'm not in the rat race or... Absolutely. five Absolutely. I will say though, there are very there are very few people in it with kids.
00:19:09
Speaker
It just sounds so white in the suburbs of Colorado, of Denver. And yeah. Yeah. In contrast to your average community of parents in the suburbs, this is a much more progressively thinking type of group, like open to all sorts of lifestyles.
00:19:28
Speaker
So I wouldn't knock it, bro, until you try it. I'm not. you are You're knocking it. What what kind of nonsense do you think I'd hear at the party? if This is like what I'm dreading. Like when i go when I go to the U.S. or when I go to like Colorado, it's like Costa Rica, huh? Yeah.
00:19:46
Speaker
And then I, you would hear this. So, so how long have you been on your fire journey? Really? Yeah. and Because fires, financial independence, retire early. It's a whole group, your fire journey. And then, and then, you know, then everybody knows how to respond to that. And then the next question, so you're retired. Oh, are you retired? Okay. You're fully done with work.
00:20:08
Speaker
Yeah. And then people get into, well, how did you tell people? what were What was their reaction? There's all that kind of conversation that comes with an initial introduction to a new person. And then somebody I know, I'm like, what's up, bro? How's your cock?
00:20:24
Speaker
You got to get back there, right? Financial or not, you got to get back there Yeah. well The way you describe it, it's got like an some sort of L. Ron Hubbard vibe to it. but that But that intro you just said is not a ah mandatory thing.
00:20:40
Speaker
No. It's just what ends up happening. It's like a icebreaker that's going to happen because what else are you going to fucking talk about, right? yeah Yeah. What I like about it is that it's not an environment of competition and where you know people are flexing sort of different lifestyle things that you might find it at a normal party where it's like some guy's like, bro, I just fucking bought a jet ski. Who knows?
00:21:04
Speaker
There isn't any of that. And then when you do hang out with these people, everybody's looking to make it sort of cost reasonable. Is everyone like everyone pull up in like a fucking Toyota Camry or something because they're they're not blowing money on cars?
00:21:18
Speaker
Oh, exactly. Exactly. Like real, not always, but basic stuff. I'm like the guy, everybody knows that rides his bike everywhere. It's all, but people are all loving it and riding their, you know, doing the the same dumb shit I do.
00:21:33
Speaker
Right. I mean, the idea sounds cool. I could just see how it could it could get a little, like, I don't know, culty or something. But that's not the point, right? but It doesn't get culty.
00:21:45
Speaker
The cult aspect of it is sort of the methodology, but the lifestyles, because people are all in it for different reasons, there's really no way to go about your life in a cult-like manner.
00:21:57
Speaker
I mean, the only cult aspect is you save upwards of 50% of your income. And of course, these are all people with professional jobs. You invest in index funds and you live your life by the 4% rule, which means whatever you amass, you can withdraw for the rest of your life, 4% of it.
00:22:18
Speaker
That's the principle. And is there a book or anything with it? There's tons of them, dude. Well, I mean, like with this group. like Oh, no, no. I mean, there's a and there there were people that started the movement that everybody kind of got on board with. There was actually a guy in the Longmont area and then there's a huge podcast.
00:22:37
Speaker
that most people listen to, especially the new people. There's a whole movement, just a whole subculture. I mean, I could see how it ah if it would it could attract like 90% of Americans that are sitting in their job fucking miserable.
00:22:51
Speaker
It really does. And then a lot lot of teachers, a lot of people that they don't love work. They just don't love work. They haven't found like a passion that pays money.
00:23:03
Speaker
It's just, that's, it's all different types of stories. And then people are at all different levels. So you got new people. I take it. Not everyone there is across the finish line, right? so Yeah, exactly. In the process. Oh yeah. Right.
00:23:14
Speaker
And that's what makes it interesting. And then there's some like, I don't know, call them latcher honors. They just don't have a social life. They're like older and they're, That's what i was wondering about.
00:23:26
Speaker
it book club for some people? Yes. there's Well, this this this group has a subset of events, so there's all sorts of things you could do. it's um It's real sad when I think about it sometimes. Yeah.
00:23:40
Speaker
ah But you're there out of boredom, right? You're there out of boredom. Is that what it is? You're there out of boredom. I'm actually there to, well, yes, I'm there to battle against boredom and and have social connections and good community.
00:23:56
Speaker
I bet maybe, at it I don't know how big the group is, but is it is it possible that you you'll pull out maybe three to five lifelong friends that are cool? It's possible. And um ah we're we're joining a bunch of groups. We're joining like this social cycle club and some other things that, yeah, that's the hope.
00:24:16
Speaker
Because I didn't fucking come up with one friend out of my kids' experience here at Littleton. I think a lot of people probably, you end up like the sports are gone, the high school's gone, and and whether you really like the people or not, that kind of just goes away, you know?
00:24:31
Speaker
Yeah, it goes away. It's harder to get together. Yeah. But I think the problem for both of us is probably more for me. I don't know. I'm speculating like... You got to be a little bit off and weird for me to develop a sustaining relationship.
00:24:47
Speaker
What's that mean? Motherfucker. You just got to be able to go a few other places, I think. Yeah. And it's there's some guys that there's just no possibility.
00:24:59
Speaker
Yeah, and i' I'm trying to think now what year. I mean, I i don't know who will stay on board when when I'm done with. I've already gotten rid of all of them, actually, my friends. From work? Well, just from, like, the separation.
00:25:11
Speaker
I don't really see, like, people that I was friends with before. I just went i went out to lunch with a couple of my friends that, I mean, I consider them lifelong friends, but, like, I don't see them. I'm just thinking when my kids graduate, though.
00:25:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Who am I running with, you know? I got one guy, but he's kind of hard to pin down. But you'll you you'll see. who Who are these people? Are they cool? Yeah.
00:25:33
Speaker
Well, one of them was on the show, Andrew. yeah. He's cool, dude. Yeah. He's just a guy that we never hang out, but we always kind of chat. He's he's busy. He's traveling around the world. And then ah the other guy, um Hernando, is he'll be a lifelong friend. our Our kids don't really hang out that much.
00:25:50
Speaker
um So that's part of it. But we we try to we try to connect. and then there's other guys that are like you say hi to, what's up, when you go to the school or whatever. But it's not all intertwined here. So it's not like i'm seeing um not like I'm seeing people at basketball practice or anything. Like all the activities are separate.
00:26:06
Speaker
Yeah, if I see. You never really see anybody if you don't want to, just like the occasional Yeah. so Yeah, yeah. But it's kind of crazy. like I don't know how often this happened to you, but like people that you're kind of close to, like maybe their kids then weren't cutting it at the school or whatever happened, and they they go to another school, and all of the sudden, it's like they fell off the face of the earth.
00:26:24
Speaker
It's all circumstantial ah like in a way. like People that we took beach vacations with, never talk because their kids transferred schools or something like that. I know it's sad. I'm trying to figure out how to overcome that too. Yeah. It wasn't because I didn't like them though. You're kind of saying i'm like, you just didn't find the the personality that you're looking for.
00:26:42
Speaker
Well, in some cases, yes, ah because it is Littleton, Colorado. But no, i ah I wish I could figure out how to put effort in in a way that was effective.
00:26:55
Speaker
And a lot of it's just time in the saddle with somebody. But it's also a willingness. I think people people are really into It's an individualistic society.
Navigating Relationships and Social Connectivity
00:27:04
Speaker
We've talked about it before. They're really into what they're doing.
00:27:07
Speaker
And if it's travel, I mean, it's inaccessible to be friends with somebody who travels a lot. It's just, it's any and somebody who has a big power, high power job, even if you are working, it's that person's not accessible. So even if they're cool, it's just not going to happen. so I'm trying to figure out like, what are the avenues to like,
00:27:26
Speaker
Even if you see them, they're not sometimes they're not really engaged because they're stressed out and everything. So what are the avenues where people are accessible and then you have enough repetition with them and that you can at least see if you are like-minded type people and hang out here and there? But it's such a heavy lift to to get a guy to hang out, in my opinion.
00:27:46
Speaker
Yeah, i hate to be I hate to be like, I don't really care, because we've talked about this at ad nauseum, the the male alone loneliness epidemic and everything, but like I'm like, shit, all these people were like, the guys were my good friends when it was like couples night and shit like that. I don't i don't talk too much anymore.
00:28:02
Speaker
and but But again, I'm not i'm like... I'm just like, i don't really care. Like right now, I don't feel a negativity from not not being around a bunch of dudes and having friends, you know?
00:28:14
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think it just moments in your life where it hits you and you're sort of like, why is this aspect so hard? i have a couple of college friends. Close.
00:28:25
Speaker
They were, but I don't talk to them enough to like... I mean, like close geographically. Sort of. I mean, relative to like you and I, of course, but not really like an hour, probably 45 hour. Oh, yeah. But that's just huge barrier. Might well be fucking, might as well be Africa, 45 to an hour. It's like... No, not going to happen. But it's sad to me because everybody goes their own direction and then you... One hit me up to go out to dinner. Another one hit me for lunch, but it's sort of like that's not...
00:28:53
Speaker
To me, it's sustaining for a relationship. It's an occasional once every two or three months chat. Dude, we did that. like I think the lunch, let's get lunch as a way to say at one point my life, you were important to me. Yeah. And but that's it. But I want you to know that. But that's that's all I got for you is a fucking hurried lunch between your bullshit. Lunch is just to say, hey, thanks for 08 to 14. Yeah.
00:29:20
Speaker
I'd be a great bit. Be a great bit. um Write it up. like You put, it's like the girl put you in the friend zone. It's like you put your friends in the lunch zone. We're not going out. We're not hanging, not going family to family, no trips anywhere, but I got 45 minutes for you on a Tuesday midday.
00:29:37
Speaker
Let's do it. and The other complicated, uh, complicating factors is that we all define friends differently. We all have to what? we We all define friendship differently in terms of what constitutes it. and so And some people have a lot lower standard than I do if like, oh yeah, you're you're a boy now.
00:29:57
Speaker
I don't know. You still have like a healthy marriage and shit. So that's like ends up being your best friend too. So it's like. Yeah, but not really. Like, no, I'm talking about male friendships. Not really. Yeah.
00:30:08
Speaker
Well, I don't, but I mean, that's the person you spend the bulk of the time with, like it or not. Yeah. Yeah. Well, but it's there's ah there's a threshold that I sort of need to cross to get comfortable and confident. And I've been burned by it a few times. Like I put some effort in some dudes and then they disappear.
00:30:27
Speaker
And it's nothing I did. It's just that the, like you said, there was some sort of milestone that caused us to move move on. And then dudes are terrible at keeping in touch.
00:30:39
Speaker
and Yeah, that's not good. So are you worried about i need I should have some friends out of like potential boredom or like ah what's the point? Just because, you know, the numbers show that having no friends is not good for your mental health.
00:30:53
Speaker
Like what's the what's the driver? Well, I always feel better after we talk and after I talk to these other people I know. 100%. Yeah. but so So I'm interested. I'm more curious about how people are solving for boredom or for isolation now. And it more and more, it looks like with sports betting.
00:31:15
Speaker
mean, that is just growing leaps and bounds and then with just all sorts of risk-taking type online stuff. And i like I don't want to fall into that. like i have...
00:31:25
Speaker
Over these three years, I've often gone back to this like, hey man, why don't you just carve out like 20 grand and do some day trading for fun? And when I think of what that means, that means misery. That means you're like you're in a you're not in a good place, dude. That's not a good activity.
00:31:44
Speaker
You're going to the illegal casino. Yeah, but it's a sign of, first off, it's like, why are we so bored? And I think a lot of it is because we're not around people we like enough.
00:31:56
Speaker
Yeah, that they used to be like a way to pass time was sit around with friends and family and do nothing. Shoot the shit, hang out, talk, spend time together. Well, suppose you live next door. I'm not saying we I'd have to like be on your jock every day.
00:32:11
Speaker
But it would stand to reason that we'd come over to each other's house probably and just kick it, sit around. Yeah. And that would be it. Wouldn't have to plan an event or go anywhere.
00:32:22
Speaker
Yeah, would be it. And that just doesn't exist, I think, very much. And if it does, if somebody's in proximity, at least in my recent experience, they're not my kind of person, which I don't know why I'm so critical. That may be my weakness there, but like its just it's tough, I guess I should say. It's tough to make that connection.
00:32:41
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't i mean, i I don't have anyone like that where I just go, I'm going to go hang out. going to walk next door and see what Bob, let's be honest, see what Juan Miguel is is doing next door.
00:32:54
Speaker
ah i don't have that, but I don't mind it right now at this stage of my life. I'm not, it's I'm not thinking about it. but um Well, you would be the friend that couldn't ah follow through right now. I mean, you'd be the problem.
00:33:09
Speaker
That's true. I love it. It's the best, dude. when when If any of these all other friends reach out to me and I'm just like, I'm in the U.S., dude. Sorry. and It's the best. I think a lot of some people kind of gave up on me when they not gave up on me, but they know how how into surfing I got, which like takes up a lot of time. Like I went I went three days in a row because I knew I'd be going to the U.S. So I went Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
00:33:34
Speaker
And so like if anyone was going to hang out with me, it's like it's not going to happen, you know? But I'm like, oh I prefer that over sitting on the front porch. But maybe, see, the problem is like you're in a you're in a way different state. Just by virtue of three or four years and your kids kind of moving on, you're in a way different state of life where you have to think about it. I don't have to think about anything because i have I'm constantly interact like constantly doing shit with my kids. So any free time by myself is like welcomed. Yeah.
00:34:02
Speaker
It's not just like staring at the wall. And so you're like, shit, there's a lot of free time to fill, right? To be isolated by yourself around the clock would be might might not be that healthy. True, and I don't think you can escape it though with work. And I think a lot of young people, especially at least ah the articles in the New York Times suggest are not doing well with that isolation work from home.
00:34:28
Speaker
and And that's, you know, they're they're fulfilling themselves with the stuff we've talked about at that a thousand times. I don't wanna do that. I don't wanna look, the most I wanna do online is this and then write some cheese ball skits here and there.
00:34:43
Speaker
I just don't want to have any of my life be interacting online. Interact like your your social your social interactions are all through ah Instagram or Facebook or shit like that. or More specifically, I don't want my the my entertainment, my fulfillment to be largely online.
00:35:02
Speaker
let's ah so yeah Let's talk about boredom because you actually gave me a book like two years ago. And it it was, I can't remember the name of it. You might know it. The guy went to Alaska and was rucking and chasing caribou around.
00:35:15
Speaker
for He was, he was like basically saying that the lack of being able to deal with boredom or have boredom in your life, constantly being engaged is, is an epidemic. And because of it, we never think or anything.
00:35:27
Speaker
And, uh, I mean, I, I agree with it. I don't, I don't know. Like he was also like any, any, it's like, I felt like he was saying any sort of want for comfort was kind of, was, was terrible. It's like, yeah, I don't know. I don't need to go fucking freeze my ass off and do nothing. But, uh,
00:35:45
Speaker
But yeah, we like are you I'm on the verge of boredom all the time. And maybe it's because I'm kind of like hyper in a way, but like I'm always just meandering around doing shit. and And when I have nothing to do, I'm like, what the fuck?
00:35:58
Speaker
yeah I don't even know what to do. like Do you feel like you're close to boredom or you feel like you fill your life? Even outside of finding friends and and bowling leagues and shit, do you feel like i'm I'm close to boredom all the time.
00:36:11
Speaker
Yeah, I'm probably similar. i I've come to really like my life, except that it it feels like a worthless life by so standard society's standards, and that weighs on me a lot.
00:36:25
Speaker
So i sort of think... man Group's probably good for you in that regard, right? Because everyone's like, it's not a worthless life, Lance. You did the right thing, right? Yeah, i actually had a philosophical conversation with smart dude who's he's into philosophy and rationalism and different stuff. And he's like, i was like, dude, what how do you make meaning out of this life if you're not, quote unquote, contributing to society in a capitalistic way whatever?
00:36:49
Speaker
or some other hardcore volunteering. He's like, as long as you're contributing to a community in any way, shape or form, your your life is worth living. And that was, really I guess a way to resolve it, yeah.
00:37:01
Speaker
So right now you're right, you're taking care kids, You're contributing to their lives. And I mean, that's going to give you a significant amount of purpose and meaning. And I obviously had that and that's wrapping up and now figuring out what's next.
00:37:17
Speaker
How do you contribute? and And people just, it doesn't even need to be like, oh my God, I want to coach people to be better at money. It's more of like, I want to hang out with people and enrich their lives. It can be as simple as that.
00:37:30
Speaker
I thought that was a It was an interesting answer in a complex society where we really work hard to justify what we're doing and make meaning out of it.
00:37:40
Speaker
And we probably shouldn't do that because if you really want to, you can poke holes in just about anything. I mean, you're you're hawking wood, right? yeah You know, or so-and-so's working on an Excel spreadsheet. It's it's all in the grandest of thoughts. It's all stupid. All stupid. But but that seems like... um I mean, what he said is probably a nice goal like because it's it's actually instead of chasing not being bored, you're chasing ah you're chasing a sense of community and being part of it.
00:38:15
Speaker
and maybe Because surfing, I mean, there is a community of but about it a little way, but it's not, you know, we talk about it. All these things, hiking is like utter isolation sometimes, right? Yeah. But I mean, the other thing is you could be like, I'm organizing a hiking group or shit like that. And then that's that's what people do. it it is interesting. I'd be curious how you would interpret this as somebody that wants to go do this solo act and you love it surfing.
00:38:40
Speaker
In order to but to engage in community, you are giving up something of yourself, right? Your your individual goals are at least temporarily put aside to engage to engage in this community. It is a sacrifice and it it doesn't always pan out. And I think people bow out too early.
00:38:59
Speaker
Like ah first times I went to some of these groups, different things. I'm just like, oh, fuck, dude. He's walking people. Fucking A, bro. These people are stupid. And ah there's a little bit of that that happens. as so It's a defense mechanism.
00:39:12
Speaker
And it's also, though, protecting like this is what I'm about, dude. I'm about this. I don't got time for this shit. Yeah, and it's a lie, it's a lie. Because at the end of the day, you do want community. My dream right now is to have consistent creative endeavors with other people.
00:39:31
Speaker
That's why this podcast is hokey and campy and as a big a piece of shit as it is sometimes. You and I getting to like talk some shit and me getting to layer in some fucked up songs, that's important to me. And then if I could get the music thing going with somebody else,
00:39:48
Speaker
That'd be huge. That's what I want to be about. If I, if I can, I might lean on the podcast too much. Sort of pat myself on the back. i Like, well, I did this. Talk to my old friend for an hour.
00:40:01
Speaker
Better most guys, huh? So it's just like, yep, I'm social. Uh, I'm in touch. Yeah, I
Community and Personal Fulfillment
00:40:08
Speaker
mean, I don't know. like that on saturday or Yesterday, I was out in the water, and i and i you know i had there's a family that lives at the beach, and all the kids, they got four kids, and they're all like rippers. Well, three of them are. one of them's like ah a girl like four years old.
00:40:22
Speaker
And they're, like, on on the national surf competitions. Their dad I'm friends with. and So, you know, I was on the water, like, hanging out with them. And then this other guy who grew up in Durango. So there is, like, there is that. People are out there talking. I shy away from that, honestly, sometimes, like, the conversations out on the water. but But ah not always. But um there is that. Like, I don't know. Does that count? If it's, like, a selfish – like, that's it's almost even better. Like, the whole – the whole package of it, if you have that side of it, then you got a little exercise, you got a little nature, you got, you're doing something fun. You're in part of a community. You're, you're even part of like a,
00:40:59
Speaker
like not only use the word cult, but you're in part of a, like a select group, you know, where like, yeah, we do this. Like you're saying you want to, you want to connect with musicians. Well, you guys are like unique in in the fact that you can play music. And that even that is kind of cool to be like, yeah, I do this. And not many other people do, but this, my crew does. I mean, that's the same type of thing you get. I got from standup where you're like, Oh, I'm, I'm doing something. Nobody has the balls to do only a few people. And then nobody can really do it. Well, you get like a little bit of that.
00:41:27
Speaker
It's like they even by joining a community, you're still like it's still self-fulfilling. When you're saying you can poke holes in everything, everything it can be looked at as like self-fulfilling. Don't you think?
00:41:38
Speaker
It can. and i mean I think that we're talking about being healthy to some degree. And yeah having associations and having acquaintance level community interactions, I think it's great. I think it it will help somebody stay healthy and and feel connected. There's another level I'm seeking.
00:41:57
Speaker
And I think particularly with men, and we've said a thousand times, you know, when you have a channel to hang out with a guy, it becomes a lot easier. So that's why this or writing songs with somebody would be huge. Or maybe you and I can do a comedy duo at some point.
00:42:13
Speaker
But the in went like if you did that, are you... Because even you've been like, yeah, i don't know if I can hang out with comics. Are you doing it like for some... like Do you look forward to being part of that community, whether it's music orchitz or skits anything?
00:42:26
Speaker
Yes. Are you like, i should be I should be part of the community, not just like the self-fulfilling act of writing something and having people react to it, which is also important. Yeah.
00:42:37
Speaker
I mean, it's all get it all gets mixed in, hopefully. Yeah, there are times when you want to be focused on a goal. But also, there're there are the times where you should sacrifice. And I think we're also getting at an age where those individual goals aren't as important. So the sacrifice to be with community probably makes more sense.
00:42:56
Speaker
I don't know, maybe ah all throughout life, it actually probably makes more sense. I think our society has swung the pendulum way too far. I don't know anybody that gets together on a regular basis with friends that feels, you know, connecting and and meaningful. I don't know a lot of men that do that.
00:43:13
Speaker
you think it's like a... I wonder if it's like a Colorado thing in a way because people are chasing their passion so much for so long. I wonder if that's it. Like, I feel like the Midwest might be a little better about that. I mean, I feel like maybe a little more fan, like St. Louis for, for at least there's more like people are still hanging out with their extended families and it's more like Costa Rica and that, that way than, than I ever felt in Denver.
00:43:39
Speaker
But I was also isolated from like extended family there. So I don't know. I've heard that to be true. It's much more friendly in Chicago. One of the one of the downsides, though, is a lot of what that is that connecting is revolving around alcohol and food.
00:43:55
Speaker
Oh, yeah, which is awesome. The good thing about Colorado, if you get groups going, it almost always revolves around like, let's go hiking. Yeah, activity. Let's go biking.
00:44:07
Speaker
Yeah. But it also... it it almost feel In Colorado, can feel excluding. Because not like, let's just go fucking do something that normal. It's like, let's do the triple bypass. Bike from Denver to Vail.
00:44:19
Speaker
Yay. ah Yeah, I remember that. i was start I got a little bit in the... like I bought a bike, and i was and and people in my office were... like I'm like, oh, man. Bought a piece of shit $800, $900 bike. Everyone had their...
00:44:36
Speaker
four thousand dollar road bikes and they're all like oh yeah we did this this weekend or we did that or we're we're booking a trip you can actually do the tour to france or i'm like my god i'm trying to ride a bike but colorado can get that way pretty pretty quickly you know it can there's a laid-back side to it but at at the end of the day like if i can find both what you're experiencing in the surf area which i i think i've been pretty good at where it's like a group of like-minded people that you can just sort of have some, I don't know, level one connection to, maybe level two.
00:45:09
Speaker
I'd like to find more level three. Does it count that Like, does it, you know, you I can show up to this, like a couple beaches. I'm probably going to run into somebody that I've seen in the water.
00:45:22
Speaker
Not all the time, but, ah you know, it's like, hey, what's up? Does it need to be more structured for you or is that okay? Like, you're like, oh, the community is just, I show up here and there's going to be some people that I probably surf with before.
00:45:33
Speaker
Oh, no, I prefer it to be unstructured. My favorite meetup is just the coffee where we shoot the shit. Yeah, but you still got to plan that. or Or is there like a coffee shop where you show up and you're like, oh, there's couple people here that recognize. who Which is what I talk about in St. Louis at my friend's bar. That would be fantastic to have like a gathering spot where you know you're you've accumulated acquaintances and and hopefully built some stronger friendships. But that would fit. It just doesn't exist. it's just not a There's not a consistent place.
00:46:05
Speaker
that that happens. I like that people are off doing all their stuff and they're more interested in their laptops sometimes. But I break into people at the bar all the time trying to have a conversation. But no, I mean, if we get together, i like it not to be sort of facilitated.
00:46:21
Speaker
I'm surprised like you took me to that downtown area. I'm surprised there's not, there's no common, there's no like a few people I'm going to see and talk to all the time. Like people don't just hang out down there?
00:46:31
Speaker
I'm sure they do. But again, it's, it revolves around drinking and eating and I'm i'm not going to do it. And so there's, just we were finding groups. There's this one cycling group.
00:46:43
Speaker
So they do like a short little ride and then they go to the, we go to the bar, but it's more just kind of like-minded people hanging. Earn your calories. Exactly. i Not everybody drinks. So they just go and hang out.
00:46:57
Speaker
We're in a different... I don't know if we're talking about boredom or our a community now. Well, we're we're talking about the... uh, antidote to boredom is the healthy anecdote. Antidote to boredom is social interaction community, social interaction. And at any level, I mean, it can be acquaintance level. If you go to a bar and just sit and have conversation with a random doesn't become your best friend. I mean, that's healthy. So I just like, how do you do more of that? And how do I do less of like, Oh dude, I should fucking day trade, bro. i should fucking day trade.
00:47:26
Speaker
I think it's not always even unhealthy. Like I, I know that, uh, well, by the way, that might not, Maybe financially, it might not be that bad for you to do something. so It's kind of thrilling and all that stuff. It doesn't have to be take over your life and be a negative.
00:47:41
Speaker
It doesn't have to be, but it it's another thing that takes me away from what I know is going to be the most fulfilling. The community. Yeah, communities hanging out.
00:47:52
Speaker
Well, I just, ah I think i like, it's also a way to, fit because i I'm like, i don't think of feeling boredom now with social activities, but every once a while, I don't have my kids.
00:48:06
Speaker
Like, I literally would not know what to do all weekend if I didn't go surfing. I'd probably work out, I'd walk my dogs, and I'd be like, ah, but I'm just going to go work. I'm going to do actual work for my company.
00:48:17
Speaker
Like, i think that beside another conversation, maybe for another show, is like, the ability to sit and do nothing and be comfortable with it is is very hard for me. I think a lot of people can do that. That's almost like a positive skill to ah to a point. Some people can do it like way too much.
00:48:35
Speaker
But like just to be able to like relax and do nothing and not with modern technology necessarily, not like you're looking at social social media or anything. You're just kind of sitting there. is like It could be like you said, you're sitting on the front porch with your friend or your or your neighbor.
00:48:48
Speaker
You're just kind of sitting there talking. Like that's a hard thing for people to do. Well, I gotta find the friend. I mean, I sit and I'm at at peace when I'm in boredom. I mean, I i play guitar, I like to read, i have things I like to do. I like to jerk it, bro. Got a lot of tea. I like to do those things, but there aren't very many people that will sit around and just talk about life.
00:49:11
Speaker
I mean, we're not in the Appalachians here. And I mean, I don't know what they're doing. But people seem to be fulfilled are scratching that itch with, tons of pot, alcohol, but sports betting, prediction markets and trading. Like that seems to be what younger people are after and even our generation. So they're filling it with, i don't know, vices essentially. And I don't know where that goes, dude. I'm just trying not to do that. I thought about going to the pot store. i was like, oh, that might be cool. But what if I'm just like, I get into it?
00:49:46
Speaker
You might, you might not. You might find a community there.
00:50:21
Speaker
Jesus loves us Jesus loves us Jesus loves us Jesus loves us Jesus loves us Jesus loves us
00:50:36
Speaker
Jesus loves us.