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A Very Special Weekend With Matt
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Top notch pizza with the upper middle class and blowjob comedy in gentrified Denver. Let's do it again sometime!
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Transcript
Humor and Self-reflection in Comedy
00:00:07
Speaker
Do you want a piece of shit in your life? Do you want a piece of shit in your life?
00:00:16
Speaker
come to the right place you've come to the right place cuz I am a piece of shit and you know it I am I appreciate the compliment, dude. i don't know was the best show ever, like you said, but it was pretty good.
00:00:38
Speaker
ah What are you talking about, Matt? Good to
Comedy Show Experiences in Denver
00:00:43
Speaker
see you. I'm in Denver, Colorado, and I got to hang out with Lance and his lovely wife, and you got to hang out with family, and I did a comedy show that I booked just for you guys.
00:00:53
Speaker
And Lance keeps sending me messages about how it was the greatest entertainment of his life, and I'm like, chill, man. was decent. Well, a couple big compliments for Matt since I mostly bust his balls. So he had two great jokes, two great ones. I think his third one got cut short, and that's why didn't hit as hard. But we don't need to get into that. We already got into that in the chat, so I don't want talk any more about it. So let me cut him off there. And then secondly, his pizza, it was great.
00:01:21
Speaker
His pizza was actually great. The dough was great. The sauce was great. The toppings, he can't really take
Pizza Making and Family Interactions
00:01:27
Speaker
credit for, although he he he did use high-end toppings. I'm not sure he paid for them, but that's what we use. not. I advised.
00:01:34
Speaker
The pizza is great. So there you go. um I'm like, get me fresh mozzarella and boom, there it is three different Three different types. And that's what makes the pizza.
00:01:46
Speaker
That was an away game, as I call it. like Managing that oven. iss A pizza oven is pretty great. And trying to do it on the grill is tough, but we got there. And the heat pumping out of that grill. Must have been tough.
00:01:58
Speaker
Yeah, but I like it. But it is funny. It was just like, hey, once' I got an idea. If we can see you guys, don't you come over and make 40 pizzas? And we'll we'll invite our friends.
00:02:09
Speaker
i was like, damn. That's pretty funny. That's your payback, dude. but But it was good. So I was happy to participate in both those things. Was that the most you've ever talked to my brother?
00:02:20
Speaker
i guess maybe you saw him at our wedding or something like that, right? I don't think it's the most I've talked to him. I didn't talk to him much anyway. Yeah, I couldn't break through the wall and I couldn't break through the wall of wealth.
00:02:32
Speaker
Right. But I think that's the interesting piece is like you're
Wealth and Social Reflections
00:02:36
Speaker
in that. and But we talk about all the time. You're kind of down on that that capitalism and striving for the top. But when you're in that environment, you're like for a night, you're like, oh, this is I don't know if you were like this, but it's like, oh, this is pretty comfortable. This is nice.
00:02:50
Speaker
You know what i mean? Yeah, of course. And and the people are super nice. If you're in the upper middle class and you're doing really well. Good disposition, right? You are a very accepting, very loose, very comfortable human being for the most part. And you're up for anything and and and truly ah will open your doors to to anyone. And that's the vibe I got.
00:03:12
Speaker
I also got some cognitive dissonance that I don't know that I want to get into because I don't want to offend, but I just like, it's not them necessarily. It's the pursuit.
Societal Expectations and Education
00:03:22
Speaker
The pursuit of that creates some deep worries in Lance's brain.
00:03:28
Speaker
I will say everyone was super nice and they and and I'm like a unicorn because everyone's like, you're Don's brother lives in Costa Rica? So I get to roll in with that, right? And then and then the conversations are steered towards this, what they perceive as this amazing life as ah as a rebel who's figured it out or something, you know?
00:03:45
Speaker
Which is not true, but... The- it's just my kids and I are talking about just being here is so weird. The people- the people are so weird and I know it sounds ridiculous because I grew up here. But it's just- and everyone's super nice but we see the kids, we see people everywhere and it's just- it's just like a different world. I- I forgot that it was a different country, in a way.
00:04:06
Speaker
Because everything kind of seems the same but like I see kids walking around and I see- and I listen to people. And they're talking about their daughter's experience at John Hopkins and all this shit. And like the pursuit is in everything.
00:04:17
Speaker
It's everything. Even in nice conversation. Again, not their fault. But it's like, and I even told Sophia, she's like, what's that? I go, well, I know I told you need to go to France to school because it's like 200 bucks a year and it'll be in a dope school and you can get your master's in the US. But if you get into John Hopkins, I'm okay with that.
00:04:34
Speaker
You can go there. I was like, that's pretty dope. But like, yeah, you're talking about an exclusive, those all those people, exclusive school in Denver, high school, and then the train keeps a rolling.
Wealth, Leisure, and Lifestyle Choices
00:04:45
Speaker
Yeah. And they were very happily and very not condescendingly, just casually talking about all of their kids traveling through Europe in the summer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, damn. I mean, I know my nephew's in, i don't know where he's now, Prague or somewhere.
00:05:00
Speaker
i think he was with some friends in Prague and had a great experience, met all these people and watched World Cup games in Europe. And then he took off, because he is still like a mountain kid, the Colorado kid, and now he's like hiking through the Austrian Alps or some shit. But the the whole idea of it is is borderline amusing, because my brother's like, yeah, but he's having a great time. and I was like, really?
00:05:21
Speaker
He's having a great time. That's amazing. How is that even possible? He's like, that up twenty year what is he, 19, 20, cruising through Europe, paid for? might yeah we gave him 40 grand, but he has to manage the money.
00:05:35
Speaker
Yeah, he's a good kid. He got good grades. Everything aligns. The dude, he went to college. He he busted his ass. He's like a physics major. he you know He's a smart kid. And it's all good. It's just it's just funny.
00:05:47
Speaker
like ah And it happens in Costa Rica. i mean there's like i told When we were at the party, I was telling my daughter has some friends that are doing pretty well. And their their stories are always like, oh, you should come. We had a we had a private chef and it was awesome. like It was awesome.
00:06:02
Speaker
I'm sure it was. But... ah But it's, but dude, it's funny. I mean, i i will I will have to say, like yesterday we went we went tubing up in Golden, like outside of Golden and Clear Creek. And my brother and his wife are like the first people to come.
00:06:17
Speaker
I think it's the same with everything, like age, money, some like you're gonna be who you are, but you gotta maintain some level of like normality. like when When people are are describing celebrities or athletes that have done well and then they're like, he's just a regular guy, at some point you get rich enough where that becomes a compliment, like that he's just a regular guy. and that's I think in your head everyone loses that immediately the second they they get into the capitalistic race.
00:06:43
Speaker
Not necessarily, but I get what you're saying. there's there's a There's a line, it's so hard to draw as I've said many times before, but there's a line where um I guess my core worry is that we all pursue this, and again, I'll call out the hypocrisy. i and I invest in all these companies and corporations to try to set myself up to be as comfortable as possible, but the consumption side of things.
Environmental Concerns and Economic Realities
00:07:08
Speaker
There's a line where there's just no care in the world. you know We'll jump on jets as much as we want because we can afford it. We'll have multiple homes because we can afford it. Leave doors open with the AC on.
00:07:20
Speaker
well ah We'll keep it comfortable as fuck. Yeah. No matter what, because we can afford it. And of course, those environments are great to be here being in. And of course, kids can thrive in that and adults feel calm and comfortable when you know they're just sort of letting things happen or they can they actually can afford to not worry.
00:07:42
Speaker
And that is cool right but if we're all pursuing that and if so many people reach that threshold the destruction on the other side of it environmentally and the destruction terms of the climate and the some of these bigger worries or in terms of just sort of truly what the meaning of life is is potentially concerning i agree i do like the idea i've always liked the idea like we talked about a lot over the weekend but where we where we met my brother's place is in an old city neighborhood And it's probably two lots that some, they didn't build that house. They got, they got a deal or something. But like, I do like the idea if you're, if you're pursuing that, like stay where, stay where humans should be a little bit like that. Go. I mean, I, I would like like living out in the country is cool, but like go destroy a mountain or something so you can put your house on top of it and like, and yeah bulldoze all the nature away. Like that's like, come on.
00:08:37
Speaker
But, uh, Yeah, I mean, it doesn't it doesn't stop. i mean, i look at this trip. we like I've been in Colorado for a few weeks. Well, I've been in U.S. for a few weeks. I went to St. Louis and worked. But just doing anything. fucking like We've been pretty chill.
00:08:51
Speaker
And still is going to cost me a lot of money without being a capitalistic pig. yeah you're ah But you're also like like we went down to the great sand dunes. pretty Super fun. We had a great trip, kids and I, in like southern Colorado. and Hiked the Spanish Peaks like up this waterfall.
00:09:05
Speaker
But even that, you know, stayed like a dump and went out to eat a few times. You're like, that's 500 bucks gone. Like one night, two nights, you know? It is. It's crazy. and And I think the folks in that upper middle class category as defined by how much they spend a year, which I would say, I mean, I don't want to be specific, but some of those people that we met, ah their run rate is probably 600,000 a year terms of what they spent. Oh, yeah.
00:09:31
Speaker
Just when start adding in colleges and- Yeah. ah But when I go out last night and you know we we do fine, we're fine. But I still am shocked to just take my son and his girlfriend out and the wife. It's over 200 bucks to just do a decent dinner, have a drink,
00:09:49
Speaker
And it's a it's crazy. like I mean, ah just look, when i whenever I do that, i go, good for me, right? Good for me, Lance. You're great also. But I'm like, the upper middle class thinks 200 bucks is like piss away money. But then so many people underneath all of that are just like really fucking struggling. So that that's the cognitive dissonance that I try to manage somehow in my own head. I don't know why I do it or why I'm susceptible to it. I wish I could shut it down, but I'm always like in that space of like, Hmm, geez, why don't you shut the fucking door? You have the AC on. Hmm.
00:10:25
Speaker
Or so that's what's in my head. you're going to get that cheese back in the fridge. You're just go to let it is going to let it fucking rot? you bug and for Yeah.
00:10:36
Speaker
Dude, I think you're i think though those people see it. I mean, the people that I know that are in that stratosphere, it's you know my brother, he probably would make the case that he's not, but whatever. But i think I do think they see it. I think the idea is more like turn your head and cough. like Some people, it's a mindset. And so they made a decision like, I'm not going to worry about it.
00:10:56
Speaker
And so they might be living at less stress than you a little bit. but ah But, you know, what went into that, how they got there or whatever didn't, you know. But there i've I've adopted that mindset now.
00:11:10
Speaker
But I've ah adopted both both ways, which is one, I don't give a shit if I have anything. So that's nice. And then the other thing is, like, when I'm in this environment, like I'm up here, I'm not going to be, like, fucking hammering on my kids. Like, we go, you know, we're in Walsenburg, Colorado,
00:11:25
Speaker
middle of fucking nowhere and I'm not going to be like no you can't buy candy because I'm already $900 into this trip yeah or your your calorie counts off son so ah so i've tried to I've tried to just let it go on both ends but I think you either you have to do something to be able to do that which you've already done but you either got to get rich or you've got to you know make some sacrifices where you're not you don't have expenditures day to day that other people have so that these little hits don't don't hurt as much Yeah.
00:11:56
Speaker
and And again, i don't know that I go crazy about everything. It's just the expressions of wealth. I was talking to my wife about it the other day. i just, we have less and less interest in it. Like we talked about a few times on the pod, but going to Broadmoor, going to high-end hotels or high-end restaurants, it's all starts to look absurd.
00:12:15
Speaker
If you take yourself down another path and you go far enough where you're like, shit, I'm I probably should have an electric car. I probably should electrify my home. I need to you know participate in the community and support things that move the country into a more sustainable place. If you go down that path far enough, then everything else begins to look kind of absurd.
00:12:36
Speaker
The size of the homes look fantastical. The ah activities that people do, you're just like, really? Wow. You went to Europe three times this year.
00:12:47
Speaker
That, wow, there's just no concern for what's inevitably happening. And um you know we're not, and we need to ring the climate change alarm on this podcast because we're too stupid to do that, but it's weird.
00:13:00
Speaker
It's just weird to look at the world now from the place of like, man, I really don't need much. yeah yeah you don't you don't need it and then they I think there's like i don't know was that you you're an econ guy is it law of diminishing returns like not only is your your income or your worth like what you get out of it stops pretty abruptly after i don't know what it is 300 grand a year or something like that but then also same like you said like a high-end hotel like there are things that you just the experience is not that much better like an automobile, like maybe space is cool if you feel comfortable in your car, but like the experience is still going to be using the car to access other things. So like a fancy car is not going to be that much better of an experience for you or something like that. I mean, the the best thing about a nice car is knowing that it's reliable. That's like that peace of mind. It's not going to break down. but like staying at a hotel and and funny when you get around some of these people too like i know i know i took my my brother and his kids and i've done this with other people well they might come to costa rican stay at a nice place but i'll take them some shithole beach bar but it's like in paradise and it's got this cool vibe and and then everyone's like that's that was the best night of our trip not the you know not that this gonna happen but not the capitol grill steak or something it's like oh this place that had like trees for umbrellas
00:14:19
Speaker
And, you know, you're like, so.
Perceptions of Wealth and Financial Stress
00:14:22
Speaker
That's true of all of us, I think. It's just also that it's also true that people in that category, don't they don't think about dropping 10, 15, 20 grand.
00:14:30
Speaker
They really just don't think about it. It's not that big a deal. Yeah, which is a nice, it's nice. I'm sure. But there's i think there's a whole, I know the, I think, I don't know, I didn't know the people there, but I know some of the people that I do know there, like, have, kind of like you, have sort of worked hard and planned their whole life and made made some moves where they don't have to worry about it. But I think there's, like, a whole huge chunk of Americans that are living like that where it is absolute stress because it's financed and debt and and they're never catching up and, like, that seems like hell.
00:15:04
Speaker
Yeah, I guess what I'm saying is even though I could drop five, 10 grand and it not do much, it's the the feeling of it. and It's like, why?
00:15:15
Speaker
what's What's justifying this? But what's your, like for what? um I'm just talking like, you know, would I give my son 20 grand to go, you know skip around Europe? Yeah.
00:15:28
Speaker
But you would, but you have your things. like You would spend 10 grand for him to play hoops all summer or whatever like that. Yeah, well, we're not going to get up to the level of what we experienced with some of the people this weekend. I'm not going to ever get to that level. Not going to be comparable, but yeah.
00:15:46
Speaker
I'm saying we all kind of have our things, but and I understand what you're saying. Yeah. There are some things that feel tough to to yeah to skirt around with kids, but like i am ah I am thinking about it. like it was ter you know It was tearing me up the last three years, the expenditures.
Sustainability and Financial Responsibility
00:16:02
Speaker
and the unnecessary travel. It was a constant conflict. you know I didn't have any conflict putting solar on top of my roof. It was 19 grand out of pocket. I just like can do that one.
00:16:12
Speaker
There's that comfort and i and I envy it of just like, i if I have it, I spend it and it's a great thing. And I don't have any conflict. Yeah, there's yeah. And I, but there's also that I don't have it and I'm still spending it. And that's, I mean, I, get I get, don't know. There's things like, like yesterday we came back from tubing and ah my son went and bought himself like $18 piece of meat cook.
00:16:34
Speaker
piece of meat to cook And I was like, what the fuck are you doing, dude? Because I gave him 20 bucks for him and his sister. He was like, going to go get ah some steak cut because I was making more pizza because we still had the the pizza. I made the other dough balls.
00:16:48
Speaker
You don't waste stuff, Lance. No. You don't just throw the dough away. Hell And he wanted some meat. and i was like, all here's some money. go get yourself a little something. like He'd spend it all. My brother had to go into his pocket.
00:16:59
Speaker
but ah and i was like but part of that's beef. Beef prices are so are absolutely astronomical. Yeah, but he didn't need like a one and a half pound prime or whatever the hell he bought. ah he gave He actually gave me the money back because he had some money.
00:17:13
Speaker
But it was more like be conscious of what you're doing, dude. you know You can get a $12 steak. It's pretty good. Yeah. and so So I guess the point to wrap that piece up is like most of the world has to think about it.
00:17:28
Speaker
They've got to think about it. And it's interesting to watch people that don't. yeah it's and It's
Comedy Scene in Denver
00:17:34
Speaker
interesting. um what else What else was interesting this weekend was going to see you play comedy in the back of a, or to to do a show in the back of a sushi restaurant.
00:17:45
Speaker
And I love the environment, to be honest. I thought the vibe was great. All these young people, a lot of guys in ends wearing the same running shoes I've had. i was like, all right, have I found my place, yo?
00:17:57
Speaker
That whole scene, New Balance has been crushing for like 30 years with that like sort of hipster alt, some gay, I don't know what like. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, i I don't know when, when, if that happened or or what it, what you would call it, but we were, we were somewhere around five points, right? Something like that.
00:18:16
Speaker
Yeah. Rhino. Rhino. Yeah. And so that's like a play used to be the sort of Denver ghetto, right? ah and now it's like ah the behind the place I played there was a street and it was all gay bars what I would call gay bars which is like rainbow flags and sweet funny names and couples walking around so i don't know if that became like known as that part of town is like that's like a gay friendly area what but i mean that place that area specifically just popped up probably yeah in the last five years so that whole rhino thing has just been expanding so they took over the old five points in that area and really built it out for young people they've done a good job man a lot of like scooters flying around and bikes
00:19:00
Speaker
Yeah, it was cool. There sketchballs around when i when I was going to get my car. but still saw yeah I saw some dude like holding his ankle on the curb with a ah bunch of dudes huddled around him. I was like, okay, that doesn't look good.
00:19:12
Speaker
what ah there There is... I mean yeah i don't know if this is a political thing, but there is a homeless... deal going i don't even want to say homeless problem but uh there is a lot of lot of what are what do we call it now displaced people or something in colorado unhoused unhoused yeah it's it's pretty crazy actually yeah it's good weather you know and and they come out in droves in the summer uh it definitely picks up big time Yeah. What I like about it, is it's not just downtown though. I've been in a few places like out here in the sticks and I was like, you know, if you're in a shopping center there, there's going to be a few homeless people walking around.
00:19:50
Speaker
Right. like and they're go to scar it out then Yeah. Yeah. yeah It's a smart move, right? Get your, get your turf. Yeah. Get your territory. I haven't seen them on the curbs like they usually are in our neighborhood for a while. I think the cops have put the kibosh on that. So they'd stand in these like really narrow medians. Somebody probably got killed, but they stand there and some of them don't, ah not stable on their feet. Some of them are wheelchairs. They're all gamped up. They all got like bad wheels. and But they're in between, ah they're in a median in between two lanes or or four lanes that are going like 45 miles an hour. And you're just like, fuck.
00:20:26
Speaker
yeah but it is what do you think that is not to get off topic here but do you think the homeless problem in in uh denver is getting worse is it is it left-wing politics or like or do you think it's just a nice place to be so you're gonna get people that are or is it like mental health crisis like i i see it everywhere so i don't really know man yeah I mean, I see it in um in the mountains.
00:20:51
Speaker
ah there Colorado is a type of destination. it's So obviously good weather. And then you look at a place like California, Southern Cal, I mean, and all through California, they're everywhere. And it's not just about being liberal.
00:21:04
Speaker
No, was just wondering what, what I mean. Yeah, I don't know. what it what a What happened? Or maybe, I guess 16th Street always had some characters down there. But, yeah, anyway. But, of course, we were – I mean, that show ended at, like, 1230 at night in the city. You're going to run into some people on the street at that time.
00:21:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. and And to be honest, is as liberal as I am, I'm fine with police or social services or whoever moving these people along. So i I don't think that they should be in all of these communities, especially communities that you expect people to draw people into for – nightlife and you know special experiences and nice places in the city you need to move these and mfs along and yeah i don't know where i don't know where i don't know how but like it's not a good look no not at all i mean like that show for example would i would be i'll probably try to book that place again let's just say want to invite my parents or something it's like
00:21:57
Speaker
Not inviting them to the 10 o'clock shit. Not that anything's going to happen, but it's like, they don't need to be walking around at midnight, running to bunch. Most of those people are nice, but they are seeing, you are you are you do feel like there a few of them are kind of checking out what's available, kind of casing you when they're looking at you.
00:22:15
Speaker
little bit, yeah. you're like, all right. Maybe though I was gay dude, so. Yeah. That's, that always happens. so I'm used to that. Yeah.
Critique of Comedy Styles and Content
00:22:25
Speaker
But back to the show. So you had two good jokes. We should talk about them a little bit after I rail on the other comedians.
00:22:31
Speaker
One was an extended stay hotel joke and the other was a BMI joke, but the other comedians, and this is coming from somebody who likes to slip in a little cock, a little nasty, little puss joke and stuff.
00:22:45
Speaker
These motherfuckers, They were so captivated by blow jobs, cum, pussy anal. It was non-fucking-stop to the extent that the people should know who listened to our show.
00:22:58
Speaker
This dude brought up a shot, a shot glass that looked like cum. I don't know what it was. it was some sort of liqueur. It was sake. They make their own sake. I think it was some sake. Okay, but it looked like cum, and he saved it. It sat there on the stool for the majority of his set until this joke came up.
00:23:15
Speaker
It was so much like choking on cocks. do you Do you swallow? Do you spit? All this fucking bullshit. I was like, write a joke, bro. Like really write a fucking joke. I was so mad by the end of it. I was like every one of them, my cock, blow jobs. I mean, the the the guy that, um the host, the host. yeah I mean, his bits were like, it was just like eating puss and how, cause he's short, he can eat tall girls puss standing up and just puss, puss. And it's like, fuck.
00:23:45
Speaker
It just made me think about myself. It's like, I look myself in the mirror coming back from there and said, write a joke, motherfucker. Write a joke. Stop s slipping in the nasty poontank shit.
00:23:56
Speaker
Stop saying cock. I think... Yeah, I mean, I 100% agree. I mean, they get it was a 10 o'clock show, and i I don't know if they were if they're trying to... was supposed to be like, the nasty show.
00:24:09
Speaker
but But a little bit of... Like, part of it was, like, some of the stuff was, like, kind of half-baked as far as, like, a joke premise and worked out, you know? And, uh... Yeah, I mean, I don't know. People are going there like, I want to see dirty shit. Or if it's just like, hey, by the way, it's a late show, so you might see stuff. Or if their marketing is that, you know? Okay, so so you think that in a prompt to way, the the one gal that brought the rubber glove for her anal joke, that was impromptu?
00:24:39
Speaker
I mean, that's a primary joke of hers. Yeah, I don't know. but But let's hope that they chose that material because it was the late show and they've got other stuff to go to. but But the later it gets, it's just I got to listen to some dude talk about with chicks choking on cock and having having really good gag reflexes and what a wonderful girl it is if she has a really, ah what do you call it, tame gagle gag reflex or some shit. I mean, come on. It just gets so fucking sick. It's disgusting.
00:25:08
Speaker
Like, I'm a nasty motherfucker, and it's like I'm like, I can't – It's like cum coming out of my nose. It's just constant. She's like got a rubber glove. She's like simulating this anal thing and talking about She's running around. Oh, it's in my butt. It's in my butt. And I'm just like, what how do these people think they're funny? I could go write them jokes like right before the show that would do better than that. Stupid fucking sex shit. And this is coming, again, I have to say, I've been such a hypocrite from ah a total...
00:25:37
Speaker
cock face, you know, trim poontang guy. But you do some of it. So tell, like, what's the theory here? You do a little bit of but you do it in a... ah I know nothing about, nothing like that. you know no, no, no. You do a little bit of like, oh, you guys are some good looking people. I'd really like to stop the show and see you guys bang. You did something like that. as This is breaking the ice after yeah whatever that guy was talking about. He was on blowjob shit. And this is like, the guy doesn't even look like he would ever get a chick ever.
00:26:08
Speaker
Not, and especially not one that would suck his dick. It was fucked up, dude. I'm not exactly sure what we were watching there.
00:26:19
Speaker
But tell me how you felt when he took the shot at come. I think you got, I mean, I don't know if I have the time, but i think you guys all would have been better off if I was the only comic there for 45 minutes.
00:26:32
Speaker
But ah I, yeah, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. i don't know what to tell you. I don't know. I like, if you went to another place, I don't know if you would have got that experience.
00:26:45
Speaker
But have you ever seen, i don't know, like David Tell or Robert Schimmel, who's dead? Or like some of these comics are known as as like dirtier comics, but they're like amazing joke writers. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:56
Speaker
So they're like, you're like, oh, that is pretty funny either way. I don't this guy he wasn't i don't know if he considered him dirty, but my one of my favorite comics ever was actually Denver comic.
00:27:07
Speaker
named Roger Rittenhouse. And he's like the best writer ever. But you could say all this like sick shit that these people are trying to say, but it was so subtle and almost way more offensive, but like so well written that like anybody would just have to laugh. I didn't necessarily see that skill coming out most most of the night. And so, uh,
00:27:27
Speaker
I think the point is like you might go to a dirty show, a late show. I mean, this is just something that... I don't like i haven't seen any of that in St. Louis since I got backed into it. But all the comedy clubs that aren that are out there, like their latest show is like 8 o'clock. You know, now, 8.30 or something.
00:27:41
Speaker
but um but that But there are shows that market themselves as dirty shows. and They'll be like... we got a dirty show and like you can choose to go see it which i think is even funnier than the people doing the material that someone's like yeah i want go see a dirty show like it just seems kind of ridiculous to me yeah but but the writing was so it was so terrible and i mean i think that's the point is like you didn't like maybe some people did like it but but uh Who? Who would like that, though? What kind of fan wants dumbed-down racist stuff, like really dumbed-down racist stuff? Like ah the punchline is like, Asian people have slanted eyes. I mean, that's the fucking punchline. or ah Did you feel like any one of those people were getting a lot of laughs?
00:28:24
Speaker
ah they They all had a moment. Well, two people. two of Two of them had a moment. Like a moment or two, but no, they weren't getting... Yeah, and the last guy I mean, he was comfortable.
00:28:37
Speaker
I thought, yeah, he'd been on stage. I thought he probably could have gotten rid of a lot of stuff and probably didn't, like you're talking about the the calm thing whatever. but And then maybe that's in there with some some good stuff.
00:28:49
Speaker
Hmm, maybe. I don't, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you. Like, I was there. It was a wake-up call for me, you know, and to really check myself and look at my humor and and go back to the drawing board a little bit, because that was fucking sick.
00:29:05
Speaker
It was just different and maybe not quite... I don't know anything about any of those other people. i've never met them, never seen them. And I don't know if they're like working comics. I don't know if they're like open micers, working comics. They're getting some some respect or not.
00:29:19
Speaker
um So I don't know. I don't have the answer to that. But if you would have went to like, I don't know, like a like Comedy Works or something, you're probably going to be watching some someone, whether whether you like their style or not, they're just fucking...
00:29:33
Speaker
they know they know how to put a show together. And it's like, whether it's dirty or whether it's like the black dude I worked with last week, yeah're they're going to crush no matter what. And you probably weren't, you didn't see that.
00:29:44
Speaker
So, well, let's kind of take you back some of your music days where, you know, some of the show, like you got to invite your friends the shows and you know, half the bands on the show are just getting started like you guys and your friends are going to be like, who the fuck are those four bands or something. Right. So that's, that's part of the part of the thing.
00:30:00
Speaker
Some of those Herman's hideaway nights, Oh, yeah. It's fun. It's like people learning how to be a band, right? Yeah. The absurdity of it made me laugh. When pulled out the rubber glove and was simulating sort of finger banging her boyfriend or whoever, and then when he had the shot of cum, it was just like... Two rubber gloves.
00:30:20
Speaker
Yeah. She had two rubber gloves, but it was just sort of like... and then she Well, she came out back to her. She came out on the stage and just like started with her... She didn't even have huge tits, but she somehow just decided that...
00:30:31
Speaker
She was gonna talk about her tits flying all over. And she was like, she's doing voices and shit falling into the ah audience. But it really was a capper to have the cum shot glass, the last guy. And I was just sort of like, what the fuck is happening? Like, why?
00:30:46
Speaker
How come I don't get on stage at this point? why I mean, Jesus Christ, you and I just share that whole place and just fucking... It's so it's so ah weird to to watch, but I don't know. but Lately, I've been... like Not just that experience, but like other shows I've done where I'm like, oh, I kind of forgot, but I'm like, oh,
Talent and Feedback in Comedy Careers
00:31:04
Speaker
you know what? There is... there are there is There is a ah It's way better to watch somebody who's good at this.
00:31:11
Speaker
Like, there's a talent and involved. Well, of course. but Well, I know, but like sometimes it just seems like, ah you can oh I don't know, I feel pretty comfortable, so it's like, you can just get up there and talk. You ought to be able to get like write some good jokes. but ah But I'm like, people are going up there, and they're and and like i'm not they're not not always like...
00:31:28
Speaker
doing stand-up comedy you like let's talk about what is your fucking plan what what are you trying to do because i can tell like you see you see me i'm i'm just starting to get going and i'm trying to like like you were rushing a little bit but your jokes were all a hundred thousand times better yeah i was just rushing because i had i i was got five minutes on that fucking show but and i was trying to get three jokes but i also ah Like there was there was a plan, right? You could tell these these jokes had a plan.
00:31:54
Speaker
There were laugh lines, but yeah, there's a lot of there's a lot of people that like, what are you trying to do? well Well, let's talk about that. it doesn't have It doesn't have to be comedy or music or anything, but I'm curious about the personality type that there's such a deep hunger to challenge themselves and to something that everybody around them can see they're not good at, they're probably never gonna be good at.
00:32:17
Speaker
And it's like this Rudy mentality of like, I'm gonna keep fighting as I love comedy or whatever they do. You see it in the workforce, you see it in sports. And that person personality trait has always interested me because I'm the exact opposite. if I haven't been validated. It's like people aren't like, hey man, you got a pretty good voice, you should sing.
00:32:37
Speaker
I wouldn't be anywhere near a stage. I'm thinking you're probably somewhat similar. Like you didn't just like roll into comedy on your own accord. Like people were saying, dude, you're funny, you should try this. But like, i don't who are those people? Like what what what is driving people to go do those things? And they they have to know they suck.
00:32:57
Speaker
Yeah. It's people like me, like I, every, every person that was on that show, I, I said shook their hand said, you did good, good job. Great job. and that's all valid That's all they hear. They never hear anyone. Like, cause it's hard for people be dude, you gotta stop.
00:33:11
Speaker
It's not for you. Nobody really does that. I have a few friends that do that, that are very honest that are like, no, or they'll be like, no, you can't work on my show. Like. You do what you gotta do. you know, don't quit. But like, I can't have you on my show. Cause you don't have your jokes aren't ready or which is like, oh those conversations are yeah like, you're like, Oh boy, that's awkward.
00:33:30
Speaker
But, uh, I mean, I'll give advice to people if they ask people ask me for advice all the time. I'm saying Lewis and I'll be like, it's simple shit. Like nobody can fucking hear you or be a little more confident or whatever. But like, yeah. Yeah.
00:33:43
Speaker
and But I've never been like, you got to stop, dude. you're not This is not for you. Yeah. I kind of want to go up to the girl and be like, let me let me help you write or let me write your shit. Because your look, yeah your vibe is actually funny. Let's get it going.
00:33:58
Speaker
but That's what I wanted to ask you after the show. and I didn't really get a chance to talk to you. is like Could that girl be like... dynamite like unique like she could be funny clearly comfortable performing right like that's not she likes it she's comfortable performing she has the capacity for different voices different body movements weird ass look like a weird fucking look like really weird like in a good way but her material was fucked up dude but i i that's what i talked to you about last week when you're asking me like she didn't she put no laugh lines into her stuff
00:34:32
Speaker
I'm almost like at least do the hacky shit about you know whatever. like you know You're saying like some of the jokes were like, and they they were Asian, it turns out. or what you know It's like small dick joke or fuck. But I'm like, well, at least at least there's laugh lines. She didn't have any laugh lines. So it's just like a theatrical performance of mental illness or something. Is it in me? Is it in me? I don't know. Just fucking doing stupid stuff.
00:34:59
Speaker
But i don't i mean i don't I don't know what to tell people. I mean, I've seen... i don't know, actually. i don't I want to say I've seen people that I thought, oh, they're never going to figure it out, and they figured it out.
00:35:10
Speaker
But I don't know if I can say that, actually. she might I mean, she could. i mean, with she ah a completely new ah repertoire of jokes and writing, like a whole overhaul of what she's trying to accomplish because she doesn't need to try that hard looking already as awkward and as frumpy and interesting as she does. And she's actually not unattractive, but she's weird.
00:35:35
Speaker
what you Did you talk about her performance with your wife at all? Did you guys like talk about the show at all? Yeah. Was she, did she, what wonder what she had to say? She find that girl. Cause I also wonder about like, did it come off as like authentic, the kind of craziness that I feel like she's trying too hard. I thought it was fairly authentic. Although then you're right. It's like, Oh, you don't need to do the fucking latex glove and everything. Like, but i thought there, there was going to be some really good jokes coming off of her personal life as a,
00:36:09
Speaker
well she's some sort of like social services don't know but the comic after kept saying like I talked to her like yeah she like mental health she was like a social worker she's like a social worker or something and i yeah and then there were you like you said there were never any jokes but yeah maybe she's close maybe she's close she might be but you know it's more of I guess when I was starting out, I wasn't good.
00:36:31
Speaker
But I think people would be like, okay. and And you have some potential. But your songs need work. You think a lot of the people you saw there, maybe no one's ever said that once. I think I would say that to her if I were a working comedian. The long-haired dude, the headliner, I'd be i just sort of avoid as somebody I just would never vibe with. Not that he's funny to other people. But he's probably serviceable.
00:36:53
Speaker
yeah yeah yeah he's he he fits certain types of uh laughs but the i can tell talking these people too like there are few people that are like i don't know they're just fucking firing to me about what what they've done and all this shit and i'm just like yeah whatever and he the guy the long-haired guy i said hey man i gotta go i'm i gotta go get my kids was uh nice to meet you nice you made me laugh he's like yeah you too man you're you're fine you're back you're you're back you you're back what it was just like yeah you're you're already back on board back at it or something like that you know like then he's but i could tell he knew what he was talking about at least it wasn't like lunatic he was like yeah you know you're you'll be always be fine because you have such great stage presence it's just a matter of like getting your material back together but like nobody can tell that you haven't done it because you have great stage presence that let me believe like he's a
00:37:43
Speaker
he's been around the block a few times, you know, like, because he's complimenting you. It's because compliment, he's right. Yeah. Like, like you said, oh I might have rushed it or I need to work on a few jokes. But like, well, you could tell so you can kind of tell someone's like authentically has performed or if someone's like,
00:38:01
Speaker
nervous as fuck or creating some character because they're scared to be themselves or something like that like i wouldn't say he he was himself i thought the biggest thing that he had going is like that that uh an audience member called him out about a number he used in a joke like a percentage of was it 53 percent of people some still live with their parents or i think that was the premise of the joke and then some of the audience said something no it's 52 or something like that right yeah yeah And then he kept, he railed on that guy for a half hour.
00:38:29
Speaker
He railed on him. But nothing like that creative. It was just like, you fucking pussy. Yeah, calling him a piece of shit. You fucking piece of shit. You fucking piece of shit. It's like, if that is what comedy is and that guy is traveling around the country, like, I can do that in my fucking sleep,
Authenticity and Challenges in Comedy
00:38:44
Speaker
bro. I mean, I'm not even joking.
00:38:46
Speaker
and But i he could, I kept waiting for him to car sort of turn the corner on that and be like, all right, dude. like Like, he could have done it in a lot lot of better ways. but Yeah.
00:38:56
Speaker
Yeah. well But i'm not I'm not positive about you sitting there touring around the country. I'm not positive about that. But I cut you off. Anyways, what what what was your wife's feedback? just ah She was just, it was over the sex stuff was over the top.
00:39:11
Speaker
It just was so much blowjob shit. She's just like, Jesus Christ. Yeah. It's funny that like, you wouldn't you wouldn't probably, i don't know, like you wouldn't probably be if you were, it like i I probably had, it was actually great for me that I had none of that.
00:39:27
Speaker
Cause everyone's like, ah, whatever. Like if I was later in the show, it's like, ah, what a relief. But like, if you were, if you're conscious of the show, you think after like four comics, you'd be like, ah, fuck, I'm not going to go up there and do that. They've been, they've heard this now for an hour, you know?
00:39:39
Speaker
I know. And then to go in and pull the audience. All right, ladies, tell me if you're a swallower or a spitter. And there's really no unique joke that pulls that disgustingness together. You know, it's it's like not, there's no realization like, oh yeah, you know what, the guy's actually coming all throughout the process of giving him head. There's no, it's just disgusting. There was a little bit. Like there was the thing about give it up for the spitters because at least they're,
00:40:09
Speaker
They're doing stuff. It just had, it's just like someone has to be more developed. Like there's a subtlety in that. They probably could be funny. Yeah. it It just was not, there wasn't much for me dude. It wasn't much for me. Yeah.
00:40:22
Speaker
But back to the original point. So that group of people doing that shit and that scene, are they, they're better in your mind than the people pursuing, uh, all sorts of material success.
00:40:34
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah. For me, i give them, look first, I give them credit and they have more balls than I do to get up on there and make an attempt. And I don't know how long they've been pursuing it to your point. So I give them that credit first and I will go back and see shitty comics over and over again.
00:40:53
Speaker
And I would prefer that than going to an upper middle class household and having high end pizza, unless it's cooked by you. I'm more talking about the, the, like the whole scene people go in there, you know, yeah are the whole scene.
00:41:07
Speaker
I prefer. hundred percent i think it's cool. I mean, I think it's, I think it's cool, but, uh, but to to close that chapter, so you had excluding me, you had, you had the short guy and then you had the the guy with the beard and then you had
00:41:25
Speaker
uh they were like a bald dude with a hat i think and then you had the girl and then you had the long-haired dude who was who's the closest for you i'm breaking out of that the i mean the long-haired dude the the headliner because his stage presence is as well yeah he's come oh let's exclude him okay Because I think the best dude was the guy with the hat, but maybe the least chance in hell of like making something in comedy.
00:41:52
Speaker
Yeah, I think he had nothing to talk about, but he he he's probably done it enough where he's like understands how to write a bit of a joke. Yeah, and he's trying to engage the crowd. um But no, he wouldn't it wouldn't appeal to me as a comic ah based on how he looked. like His personality doesn't show on stage in a way that makes him an appealing comic. And that's sort of a barrier.
00:42:17
Speaker
Like kind of white and rigid or something like that. or He's sort of a meathead. Like to Colorado maybe. It just didn't didn't fit what he was talking about. ah you know He would have, to my view, would have been a right-wing comic.
00:42:34
Speaker
Like he fit that. And I think that's hard to overcome. It's just most people would not really accept some of his liberal takes. coming from him and sometimes it can be an advantage that you don't kind of you material doesn't match the look or something yeah sometimes that's an advantage but but not not often and like if you look at the white guys that come out and look polished they're often very smart not gross if they're successful um that look polished so sort of like your john mulaney types
00:43:05
Speaker
um But so yeah so there's always a lane. I think there's a lane. they're they're Just on everything, there's always different lanes. and it's very hard to jump across them. Well, I am.
00:43:16
Speaker
When I'm done with this, I'm driving downtown. going to meet with my buddy who runs that place, who who was really funny, dude, when he was doing stand-up. I don't know if he still is, but super funny. It got a lot of heat on him, too. But ah I'm going to ask him, where like who were those people and where were they at with comedy?
00:43:34
Speaker
So let's let's have a little bet. Do you think all those people were open micers? you think they were... like what where do you think they're at in their comedy career you think the main club in town is past them they get work at the main club well how long has this place been open i think like for eight years oh well um i think they probably work consistently there and they've hit up some of the other places i i don't know about that because it seems like that place is drawn pretty well
00:44:06
Speaker
Okay. Consistently that maybe means different things. Like I'm not saying they're getting paid. So maybe open mic is the right way to put it. Yeah. I just wonder, I mean, they must have some pretty, pretty good people coming in there cause it's open and it's,
00:44:20
Speaker
But it's also the good thing is it's not a... No one you had to stomach for like an hour and a half. So the way they do it's like called showcase. So like in that way it's good because it's like 10 minutes, get the next person up. I think actually maybe maybe it's maybe though a little bit of it is like just the unfortunate booking. Like like maybe it was just that the too many people are sort of the same threads.
00:44:41
Speaker
Like you're saying, it was like so sexual. Anyways, I'm going to find that out. but But anyways, it's fun. I was excited to do a a show in Denver and... um And now I'm pretty excited to see see my old friend here as part of the three years later, sort of the reconnection with people that I lost touch with.
00:44:56
Speaker
So this ah this is part of the path. Yeah, great. Great for you, Matt. But when I answer the question, like who are the people? I'm just curious, like what's your experience with the people that plug, they fight through, even though it's pretty obvious they're not good.
00:45:13
Speaker
And it doesn't have to be comedy. You can use it. We can stay on that theme. But it's like, like who is that? Who are those guys? it's a joke. I mean, everyone's kind of on the side that are like, this guy's still doing it, you know? But you're you're like, just becomes part of the, yeah, there's so many people like that. like There are people that, ah that i want to add I mean, I left for 12 years, came back, and there are people that are struggling. Like, the sign-up sheet on Tuesday night is is just open mic, which should be, like, your first year or two in comedy that you're like, I hope I get on. There's people I've for, like, 20 years. Sign up, hope they get on. And they're there, like, religiously on Tuesday night. And you're like...
00:45:53
Speaker
what do you wait what do you what do you think is going to happen you know like it's just going to be i'm figuring it out well would you would you like the world to be full of those people as they are today like participating in this or that they cut themselves off and we can save some room why people might look at me like that ah people with talent i get more i like what what are you doing dude you were made to do this like what do you why did you stop i get more of that Yeah, well, okay, okay, okay.
00:46:21
Speaker
I don't think that that's the case. I think, yeah, there's no easy answer to this. It's really a dumb question because you do need a breeding ground for the talent to rise to the top. It's just it's just hard to watch people just stay at it.
00:46:36
Speaker
with such why yeah but miserable results. The question is like, why stand up? Like it seems to be this thing you're like, no one would ever consider doing anything. And yet for some reason, stand up, some of the people are like, I've never been funny. I've never been told I was funny, but this thing I i think I can do. And you get that all the time in stand up where you're like, you wouldn't just go fucking book a show as like playing a guitar if you don't play the guitar.
00:47:00
Speaker
or or but like walk into uh you know norad and be like i know how to run this or uh walk into i'm i'm a fighter pilot i want to be a fighter pilot yeah those buttons just hit a couple of those you start flying yeah but stand up is definitely a thing where because i think it's just so simple some people think they can do it yeah but but But the other problem is like there's always a case that backs up what they're saying. There's always a comic who's weird and fucking and in one way or another and that and they had amazing success because they're amazing.
00:47:32
Speaker
And whatever genre you're doing, like if you're you're Mitch Hedberg, you know, it was like a weirdo and wrote one-liners, stupid one-liners. and So someone could be like, Mitch Hedberg made it work, Stephen Wright, another guy. And then you got like big people like Patton Oswalt who's almost like king of the nerds and that gets all these nerd people into into stand-up. but those people are like amazingly talented you know so yeah that's part of it is people emulate people they think oh there's a nerd doing stand-up i can do it or there's a there's a brother who was in jail for 10 years and he's he's doing stand-up i can do it and and you can't do it those people are just talented people
00:48:10
Speaker
So I think that's part of the problem. Why people are like, I think I can do standup because I saw this guy. I saw Patton Oswalt. I saw yeah ah whatever. I don't think I could do it. No fucking way. I think I think you could write for it. Well, think that's why I was asking. I think you you would start, you'd be closest to the girl.
00:48:25
Speaker
You'd be like theatrical and be like kind of crazy. And you'd be like, I don't mind making an ass of myself. And then you'd be like, and you might even get bored, like actually writing jokes.
00:48:35
Speaker
I don't know. yeah i would probably be a little more yeah will farrell type but uh it doesn't matter or what's his name uh andy kaufman okay yeah i definitely would do that i like i like to i just like people to like hate what i'm doing until it till it's funny yeah it's not working dude so i need like more positive feedback on your stuff today and need like a 50 minute set to torture I am, i don't know if it's gonna, you know, where it goes, but I do want, we are gonna, do one day before we die, we're gonna show together, and I am gonna bring that up tonight. Because I think that place had a sweet vibe, cool vibe, small enough for, we don't need to get a billion people in there, maybe we can do our two-manor there for the Roots Down Fund in 2027.
00:49:20
Speaker
No, easily. Because, I mean, we can get 30, 40 people in there easy. If we want it. Yeah. You don't mind performing in front of people you know. I like to keep it. like it all strangers. Oh, yeah. Comedy is different. Yeah. No, I'll perform my shit. it's just me Like, you were talking to my parents and my brothers, and they were like, they even know I started doing stand-up again.
00:49:38
Speaker
or Or this podcast. Yeah. But they were cool. I mean, after that, they were like, well, that's really great to hear. i'm really happy you're doing that again. I was like, that's where this conversation stops. Yeah. Okay. Before you go, you got to tell your dad to settle the fuck down.
00:49:53
Speaker
Just fucking settle down, Don. Holy shit. He's pretty pumped to talk to you. kate Like the next day kept asking me where you guys live again. snap Oh yeah. Well, but weren't they and it's like it all clicked when they first saw you, they were lost. And then he was like, but weren't they in Bonnie Bray or something? Yeah.
00:50:10
Speaker
alamit yeah He was nonstop jokester. Anything my wife did, he said, oh, there she is, serving up the pizza again. yeah Look at how good she's doing. Oh, Lance, look at how good she's doing. I'm like, this guy, is that where your humor stems from? Can we get some over here?
00:50:26
Speaker
I haven't eaten yet. the the The funny thing too, he's of those people that'll be like, oh, we gotta go over there again. and then he you know and then he gets there and then he turns it Life of the party, yeah. Yeah, what a fucking asshole.
00:50:38
Speaker
Good guy though. That was great when you guys walked in and they were like be clueless. Okay, alright. I'm bringing you to all the family events now. You can take that on.
00:50:56
Speaker
Do you want a piece of shit? Do you want a piece of shit in your life if you do? You've come to the right place.
00:51:14
Speaker
Cause I am a piece of shit and you know it. I am a piece of shit and know it.