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Rob's New BBQ Grill
15 Plays1 day ago
Dark revelations surface when Eric goes to see Rob's new bbq grill.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Neighborhood Vibes'
00:00:01
Speaker
What's up, jerk-offs? This is Eric, and welcome to Neighborhood Vibes. Once again, I'm here in the Alcove neighborhood, checking out who's tugging and plugging. What the hell is plugging?
00:00:14
Speaker
Are you proud of me, Dad? and dad is a total dick, you guys. He's a corporate ass muncher. Fuck you, Dad!
Eric's Visit to Rob's House
00:00:43
Speaker
On today's episode, I'm going over to my friend Rob's house to check out his new grill. Rob's wife is a massive bitch, but I really want to see his high-end new grill.
00:00:54
Speaker
I'm going to walk over and check it out.
00:01:01
Speaker
While I walk over to Rob's house, let me talk some shit. Rob and I used to be good friends, but his wife Elizabeth fucked that up. She has him locked down.
00:01:13
Speaker
I used to tell him that box ain't worth it. Rob didn't listen and now he's whipped.
00:01:22
Speaker
Okay, I'm here.
00:01:32
Speaker
Oh shit!
Awkward Arrival at the BBQ Party
00:01:33
Speaker
What's up Eric? What are you doing here? Yo Rob, I'm here to check out your new grill. When I saw you at the pool, you told me to come over sometime to see it.
00:01:44
Speaker
Shit, Eric. That's right. I did say that. We're kind of having a couple's party barbecue thing right now, though. That's cool, bro. I'll just chill in the back for a bit and look at the grill.
00:01:57
Speaker
Oh, man. Elizabeth might not like that. Fuck it. Come on in, Eric.
Socializing and Podcast Discussion
00:02:06
Speaker
Rob, why the fuck is he here? Eric, go on back, dude. I need to chat with Elizabeth. You know the deal. Get him out of here. Chill.
00:02:16
Speaker
He'll be in and out. I'll just show him the new grill really quick. Fine.
00:02:26
Speaker
Hey, everyone. You remember my homeboy, Eric. Eric, what's happening, bro? You here for some pork? How's it going, dude? What's up, fellas?
00:02:37
Speaker
I'm chilling. Been kicking it in the hood and building my podcast brand. Right on, Eric.
Grill Demonstration: The Kamado Joe
00:02:44
Speaker
All right, E. This is my big orange Kamado Joe grill.
00:02:49
Speaker
It's a smoker, too? That's tight, bro. I know Elizabeth likes that meat. Not today, man. Does it have a hole I can put my cock in? This thing is badass. It's airtight.
00:03:03
Speaker
It keeps the temperature constant. It keeps moisture in, which makes the meat juicier. It's really legit. Juicy meat. That's all you had to say. Taste this pork, Eric.
00:03:14
Speaker
I put it on at 5 this morning. I'm actually going to an ICP concert tonight. Let me get some of that pork to go, man. ICP! ICP! ICP!
00:03:31
Speaker
See you all later. Bye, Elizabeth. Fuck off, Eric.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yo, Rob. I've heard some wild rumors about Eric.
The Incident with Elizabeth Revealed
00:03:45
Speaker
Why does Elizabeth hate him so much? You guys need to keep this on the down low. Before I started dating Elizabeth, me and Eric ran the train on her.
00:03:56
Speaker
Oh shit, bro. Fuck no. Yeah, man. She used to be freaky. You can't tell by looking at him, but Eric has a big hog. Elizabeth went apeshit over it.
00:04:08
Speaker
What the fuck, Rob? That's your wife, bro. I know. It's messed up. Except that's not the worst of it. Shit. A couple months after that threesome, we found out she was pregnant.
00:04:22
Speaker
She was freaking out that it could be Eric's. I was like, chill. The odds are low because I've been banging you for three months straight. But she wanted to do a paternity test. It fucking wasn't mine.
00:04:34
Speaker
You know what that means, right? What the fuck is this music? Holy fuck, dude. This is crazy. Damn, Rob. What are you guys talking about?
00:04:45
Speaker
We're talking about sports, babe. The Mavericks make the dumbest trades. Anyway, you know how she grew up in a very religious Christian family? Well, I guess getting an abortion was her moral line.
00:04:59
Speaker
I told her to get rid of that motherfucker because I'm not raising Eric's big-dicked baby. After a couple weeks, she decided to get an abortion. Now she can't stand to see Eric.
00:05:10
Speaker
He reminds her of her own sins, I guess. Fuck, dude. You can't put that all on her. Obviously, bro. I'm the one that married her.
Overhearing Secrets and Reflections
00:05:23
Speaker
What the fuck are you doing back here? I forgot my phone, Elizabeth. Oh, shit. Eric is back. Hey, fellas. I just forgot my phone.
00:05:33
Speaker
I left it by the grill. forgot my phone.
00:05:42
Speaker
Alright folks, my little forgot my phone trick delivered the cold hard truth. I knew something was off about small titty Elizabeth. I could have been a father.
00:05:58
Speaker
I forgive you Elizabeth. I love you. You would have been a great mom.