Transcript
Speaker: What's up, queens?
Speaker: Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
Speaker: I'm Ro.
Speaker: And I'm Savannah.
Speaker: And today we're doing Love is Blind 3.
Speaker: Love is blind is back.
Speaker: Our favorite Netflix car crash.
Speaker: I didn't actually think it could be worse than season two, but they proved me wrong.
Speaker: I feel overall there was less connection or they showed us less connection between these people in the pods than even the previous two seasons, which made everything feel really rushed.
Speaker: It made me feel like I didn't completely understand why most of these people liked each other.
Speaker: Yeah, I felt the same as well.
Speaker: I think the editing in this season wasn't as good as the previous ones because, like you said, a lot of stuff just didn't really make sense at all to me.
Speaker: I know that we discussed this on the second season that they changed up the format to basically put pressure on couples to commit sooner rather than later, probably to save production costs because in season one, they could basically talk to each other as long as they wanted.
Speaker: And then this new season, most of them were saying, oh, we only got engaged after like two weeks.
Speaker: So I think they started to push the timeline shorter and shorter to people meeting up to the pods to when they could propose and then be on the show, which makes it feel like all the clout chasing people are just trying to get engaged as soon as possible.
Speaker: Yeah, to stay on the show, basically.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, gosh.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't normally watch reality TV shows, but this one I was just transfixed because it was just a car crash from the beginning up until the last episode.
Speaker: Because I know they're releasing it in batches.
Speaker: So the next couple of episodes are going to come out, I think, the 2nd of November.
Speaker: But what I did watch was just an epic, epic car crash.
Speaker: I don't think I've had it.
Speaker: There's been a season where I've not really bonded with any of the contestants, but this is the first one.
Speaker: I just think they're all just really toxic in their own ways.
Speaker: I had a struggle figuring out what each person saw in the other person besides Brennan and Alexa.
Speaker: So I guess we can start with them because they were the only couple that there was enough there that kind of made sense why they liked each other, where the rest of them, I'm just, it's like a big ass question mark.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: about like why are these people together except for they all like to be on reality tv but brennan and alexa they seem like a nice couple but i'm still not sure why they chose each other i'm not really sure to be honest brennan seems to be the guy who's given out the least amount of red flags which the bar's low but i'm still not sure why alexa chose him to be honest i
Speaker: Well, it seems like she liked his sweet, honest demeanor that he liked to eat, that he was more homey like she is, that he liked the whole family aspect of it.
Speaker: Do you know what it reminded me of?
Speaker: Who did it remind you of?
Speaker: Danielle and Nick.
Speaker: No, I didn't get that from them.
Speaker: They gave me those vibes personally because it's just...
Speaker: Okay, yeah, you can bond over that.
Speaker: But when they were talking about their differences in lifestyle, she's quite successful.
Speaker: And he was basically saying, I'm not sure if I can do that for you.
Speaker: I was just a bit like...
Speaker: Okay, so maybe I interpreted that a different way.
Speaker: So her family is successful.
Speaker: It looks like her dad's loaded, essentially.
Speaker: So her dad even makes the comment when Brandon goes to meet her family that like, hey, I didn't expect her to be with a guy who couldn't provide this lifestyle for her.
Speaker: But at the same time, you're the first guy I've actually liked for her.
Speaker: So he says that where he says like, yeah, you're probably maybe the brokest guy that she's brought through the door.
Speaker: But you're also like the most genuine guy and like the first guy I actually want to give my blessing to.
Speaker: So I got the impression that like maybe Alexa dates a lot of like similarly wealthy jerks.
Speaker: And that what she likes about Brennan is like he's simple.
Speaker: He's sweet.
Speaker: He wants to make her happy.
Speaker: He's clearly like extremely attracted to her.
Speaker: He's ready to jump in with like her whole family dynamic and is not overwhelmed by that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like they have a very clearly a very close knit family.
Speaker: And, you know, he's like made it clear that he's about her and like emotionally connects with her from day one.
Speaker: But yeah, once again, the pods were so short that it's sometimes hard to figure out all of the nuances.
Speaker: Yeah, I think they seem like the most genuine couple at the moment, but the jury's still out for me on them.
Speaker: I couldn't quite, I still couldn't quite work them out.
Speaker: I think there are other couples such as...
Speaker: you know, such as SK and Raven, who we'll get onto later on in the episode, who it made more sense to me why they might be together than Alexa and Brennan.
Speaker: That's so interesting because I was actually going to say I was confused by SK and Raven, except for what I think, which I'll get to them.
Speaker: But okay, so that's funny that we have a completely different perception about like why some people connect and not others.
Speaker: Yeah, I guess I just need to see more of them.
Speaker: I think Alexa, especially Brennan, because he wasn't really featured as much as the others in all the episodes.
Speaker: He's not dramatic is why.
Speaker: Like he seems like he's super straightforward, likes Alexa.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He wasn't really as featured as much.
Speaker: So the jury's out for me when it comes to him.
Speaker: He reminds me, and let me tell you, like he reminds me of quite a few guys that I've known over the years and men who I would consider to be high value men.
Speaker: Like a lot of them come from the same background is that like, they did not grow up with anything.
Speaker: Like he clearly, he's talked about the fact that he's like, we wouldn't have our heat and lights on if it wasn't for my grandparents.
Speaker: And like,
Speaker: you know, we struggled a lot.
Speaker: And because of that, he has a lot of compassion as well as like drive to better himself.
Speaker: Like he didn't flail.
Speaker: He didn't flinch away.
Speaker: He didn't like when Alexa's dad was testing him, like, look, you know, I'm going to make sure you're living up to your fullest potential.
Speaker: You know, it's important to me that you, if you're going to be integrated in our family, that you like support the way that Alexa wants to live, like not even just financially, just like emotionally, like integrate yourself.
Speaker: And he didn't flinch about any of that.
Speaker: And their culture as well, because they're Israeli, Jewish.
Speaker: Yeah, their culture.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: He was willing to learn about it.
Speaker: So he kind of reminds me of a lot of guys I've known over the years who didn't come from much and are like self-made.
Speaker: Like he's honest about his debt.
Speaker: But at the same time, he's an engineer.
Speaker: So I don't think he's not making peanuts.
Speaker: Like he's got to be making pretty good money.
Speaker: He just doesn't have Alexis family money.
Speaker: He doesn't have long money like Alexis Family Clarity does.
Speaker: But like, you know, he's not scrubbed by any means, but he just doesn't come from much.
Speaker: So I think that like he has a certain humility about him because he didn't really, he didn't come from wealth.
Speaker: So he's not, he doesn't feel like entitled to it.
Speaker: And he also has like, you know, he understands that he has to work hard for the things that he wants in life and doesn't, it feels like, okay,
Speaker: If I'm going to be with this woman, I feel like it's my responsibility to make sure that I am also providing for her in a way that makes her happy.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: In addition to, you know, just being able to live like he strikes me as that type of guy.
Speaker: He's very, very responsible.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I don't think he's a bad one.
Speaker: And like I said, he's probably the best out of all the guys from what I've seen.
Speaker: And I liked how he let Colleen down as well.
Speaker: He said in the confessional afterwards that I might have been rude, but I don't think he was rude in how we did it at all.
Speaker: I think he was very respectful, but made it clear that he wasn't interested.
Speaker: And I feel like...
Speaker: Yeah, that's really important because ultimately guys are allowed to not want you, but it's how they go about conveying that that says a lot about them.
Speaker: So yeah, he seems like the least scroaty out of them all, but I'd like to see more of him and them because they weren't really featured.
Speaker: But again, they're quite a cookie cut couple in that sense.
Speaker: So maybe that's why they weren't featured as much.
Speaker: Yeah, they weren't causing a bunch of drama.
Speaker: So that's probably why they were just like, basically, we love to fuck.
Speaker: And so actually about that.
Speaker: So let's touch on that.
Speaker: What I thought was interesting and telling was like how Alexa said their sex life wasn't hitting the first night or two and that she basically had to encourage him.
Speaker: I guess a little bit more physically aggressive in the bedroom.
Speaker: But that makes sense, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So it seems like once again, talking about boundaries, talking about sex, he can like respond.
Speaker: And he didn't come out of the gate, like trying to do some fake alpha male shit.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: And like now how she's just like 100% happy.
Speaker: She's just basically every time she's on camera, she's like, yeah, we're fucking it's great.
Speaker: I say, yeah, they'll probably say yes to each other, I think.
Speaker: Will they go the distance though?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Cause I'm not really like love is blind as an experiment.
Speaker: I don't think it works, but I think Alexa and Brennan will say yes at the altar.
Speaker: Definitely.
Speaker: I think they'll say yes too.
Speaker: I'm still iffy.
Speaker: I think I'm with you.
Speaker: Not enough information to tell if they're going to go the distance.
Speaker: And I think if there is a breakup, I think she's going to be the one that breaks it off.
Speaker: Like either she'll want something else that he can provide, which I kind of hope she doesn't marry him and then tries to divorce him later.
Speaker: Like if that's really what she wants, but you know, she seems to really like him like genuinely.
Speaker: So yeah, they seem into each other, which is good.
Speaker: Unquestionably into each other as well, which is more than can be said for some of the other couples.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So next on the docket, as far as couples go, SK and Raven.
Speaker: There's so much to unpack.
Speaker: so much i'm not gonna lie as soon as sk said that he comes from a polygamous family i'd have been out oh gosh thing is in nigerian culture that is like so so common so both my grandfathers both had so my maternal grandfather had nine children by five different women one of my mom and my paternal grandfather literally had like a whole second family so he had five boys with my grandmother and then he had like another three with another woman
Speaker: so yeah i can't do it the polygamy my sister actually my sister actually dated a guy who was one of 17 and his dad had like multiple wives they were married to at the same time and the thing is like they all know about each other like they're all cool with each other so i met some of my i guess sub grandmothers when i went to nigeria last and they were all really nice but and that put her off it makes for very very strange family dynamics for sure definitely
Speaker: That's what I would be afraid of, that I would marry into this family and there would be so many unfamiliar family dynamics.
Speaker: And then knowing how my mouth is, I don't know how I would hold my tongue over as soon as anybody said anything I thought was a little bit pick me ish or like justified it.
Speaker: I think I don't think I could hold my tongue in that situation.
Speaker: And the men who do it, they don't really care about the family dynamics.
Speaker: They just procreate and breed with the mob woman.
Speaker: They don't give a shit about, you know, making a cohesive family unit or addressing issues that the stepchildren will have with each other or their stepmoms.
Speaker: They don't give a shit.
Speaker: They just go forth and procreate.
Speaker: Yeah, I know the guys don't give a fuck.
Speaker: I'm concerned that the women who are involved would be...
Speaker: more likely to henpeck me than admit that they were born into a fucked up situation.
Speaker: Because that would be the reason why I would not deal with it.
Speaker: Like there'd be no reason for me to go visit your family if I go over there and they're trying to justify some polygamy shit.
Speaker: Because like, again, once again, I would not hold my tongue.
Speaker: And if I felt like henpecked by his family, then they would never work.
Speaker: And that's kind of the tough thing when you're dealing with like cross-cultural expectations is that it's not even just that.
Speaker: Even if the guy you're dealing with has progressive attitude, like in some respects have to almost like separate themselves from a lot of their family attitude, like a similar to how Cole's doing with his family.
Speaker: Because if you go and are immersed in what they're about, like it's more than likely his female family members will like descend upon you and try to bring you back into like whatever kind of things they've decided about their life or decided about that dynamic.
Speaker: I think in his situation, I would imagine just like has been the case with my family is that they more do it, not necessarily to be a pick me, but more because of economic reasons.
Speaker: The guys they get married to in a polygamous way tend to be very, very wealthy.
Speaker: So if you can find one man who can provide for you, they're very much all about, you know, marriage and stability, you know, and all that jazz.
Speaker: It's not really something that they would necessarily push on you if you are being provided for and you're happy.
Speaker: if that makes sense.
Speaker: But the women that tend to do it, it's more out of, especially, you know, Nigeria has only really been a state as we know it now since 1962.
Speaker: So it's very, very young.
Speaker: There's been a lot of, you know, there's a lot of poverty.
Speaker: There's no middle class.
Speaker: It's either the haves and the have nots.
Speaker: And the way that some women got out of that was just to marry a wealthy man, irrespective of if he had multiple wives already.
Speaker: I see.
Speaker: So, okay.
Speaker: So there's likely to be some kind of self-awareness about their situation such that it wouldn't be a problem if you're like, ah, hell no, fuck that.
Speaker: Like I'm not judging them in the sense of, I get that life sometimes forces you into messed up choices, but you know, much like how I would look at any type of Mormon cult or anything like that, where there's polygamy going on.
Speaker: I mean, I would be so tempted to take a sledgehammer to their worldview every time I met them.
Speaker: It's not worth it for either.
Speaker: We do that.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what we do.
Speaker: Yeah, we do that all the time with my family because yeah, it's so fucked up.
Speaker: Like there's some things I could probably be a little bit milder about.
Speaker: Like maybe I could be a little bit more diplomatic about, but I feel like that's not one of them.
Speaker: So yeah, so okay, enough about me.
Speaker: Let's talk about Raven and like Raven's response to this whole thing.
Speaker: So a little bit odd about Raven is like, I couldn't get a read on her at first about like what she was or who she is and like what she's looking for.
Speaker: But I think towards the end or like the middle of the episodes, we got a little bit of a better picture.
Speaker: So she's a Pilates instructor and she's also a bottle girl, which she felt kind of insecure about for some reason.
Speaker: What is a bottle girl?
Speaker: Like, what is it?
Speaker: It's the girl that, like, so if you work at like a high-end club, generally it's the women who serve the drinks to the people at the table.
Speaker: You're basically like a personal waitress for that table.
Speaker: So like you help serve them drinks.
Speaker: You like basically facilitate the vibe or whatever.
Speaker: The way she revealed it was like, I don't know if this is going to be a problem, but I have a job where I work on the weekends.
Speaker: And so I thought she was going to say she was a stripper.
Speaker: Yeah, I thought she was going to say stripper.
Speaker: That's what I thought as well.
Speaker: Yeah, unless she is a stripper and then she backed off that discussion or something because of TV.
Speaker: But she says she's a bottle girl, which isn't that huge of a deal.
Speaker: But again, I think this season was filmed in Texas.
Speaker: So I don't know if she's in a part of Texas that's particularly conservative or that would be scandalous.
Speaker: But most places, nobody would really bat an eyelash at that.
Speaker: So she seemed kind of insecure about her, I guess, her job situation or like the type of job that she had and how it was going to affect her relationships.
Speaker: And then after that, so again, she's another person where I don't particularly understand her connection with SK.
Speaker: I can see that she was at one point turned off by Bartiste.
Speaker: It's Bartiste, right?
Speaker: Yeah, Bartiste.
Speaker: She sort of explains it though when she...
Speaker: connects with Bartise in the pool again.
Speaker: I know Bartise will get on to him in a bit, but you know, and he's like complimenting the way she looks, saying she's a baddie, she's a smoke show and whatever.
Speaker: And she said that was all he ever had to say about me.
Speaker: Like even in the pod, he would only compliment her on her looks, whereas SK complimented her on her things like her vulnerability and her emotional intelligence.
Speaker: So I think that was part of the draw was that she clocked, probably rightfully so, that Bartise was just all about her looks and not much else.
Speaker: Yeah, very shallow.
Speaker: And I think that was really, really insightful of her that she was really at least trying to take these experiments seriously and that like she wanted to meet someone that would connect with her on an emotional level outside of like how she's obviously she's a baddie.
Speaker: So she probably gets like a lot of attention from men to the point where she does not value it whatsoever.
Speaker: Yeah, especially as a bottle girl as well.
Speaker: Like, gosh, she's probably yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So for her, it's probably like I can see this kind of experiment being like someone like her being drawn to this kind of experiment because it's like, yeah, I want to know what kind of man would be attracted to me if he didn't know what I look like.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And that it seemed like they're both both her and SK are like very, very chill and that they both are fine with taking things slow.
Speaker: And I thought it was telling.
Speaker: Here's the thing I don't love about a lot of the like the commentary around pretty much any of these dating shows that there's always a woman who's a lot more reserved than the other girls.
Speaker: And then it feels like all the fans always like immediately instinctively don't like her because she's not all over the place, like emoting like some of the other women are.
Speaker: Have you noticed that?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I see what you mean.
Speaker: Or like shagging their partner.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So at first they were like looking at, so like when I was reading like the commentary on Reddit and then some of the stuff that was put on the Instagram regarding Raven, it was like, oh, I didn't like Raven at first.
Speaker: I'm like, what did she do to like make people not like her?
Speaker: Like she was just kind of quiet.
Speaker: But I feel like people just always like react really poorly to the more like reserved women.
Speaker: Especially if they're pretty, but in general, I've just noticed that's kind of like an insidious form of sexism.
Speaker: I keep seeing it repeated in a lot of the dating shows where like the quiet girl gets like attacked immediately, like the more reserved one.
Speaker: Cause like for reasons I don't quite understand or like maybe people think it's cause she's judgmental or something like that.
Speaker: But I do admire that she set her boundary and she stuck to her boundary, despite the fact that everybody else was fucking.
Speaker: And it seems like from, you know, the conversation she had with the other women in the pods, like she admitted like she'd never had a vibrator or used a vibrator that maybe she's not like a sexually forward person, which I think confuses people because she's like very beautiful.
Speaker: So then people like assume like, oh, she must be some kind of sex pod or something.
Speaker: But it doesn't seem that she's actually that way.
Speaker: It seems like she's pretty, but like she's very actually sexually conservative.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Or reserved.
Speaker: Maybe not conservative.
Speaker: Maybe she just doesn't want to.
Speaker: I mean, she doesn't use a vibrator.
Speaker: That feels conservative to me.
Speaker: Uh... I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah, but maybe it's more because, I don't know, because I've got friends who haven't used Vibrate either.
Speaker: Maybe they just haven't felt the need to use one.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: It's not necessarily because they think, oh, Vibrate is a bad or evil.
Speaker: They just might just not have thought to use one.
Speaker: Oh, OK.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think she's well matched with SK in that regard because he seems to want to take it slow and, you know, get to know her as well.
Speaker: So I think in that regard, at least they seem to be really, really well matched.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The thing about it is like, here's what I can't tell.
Speaker: I can't tell if she's actually attracted to him or not, or if it's just her more sexually conservative ways.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So her friends come and her friends made the comment, like they were expecting Eskay to be a lot taller and more athletic, which gives a clue into the type of guy she normally goes for.
Speaker: which is basically Baptiste, basically.
Speaker: I also found it weird that maybe I skipped past this because I was in between doing work, but did he meet her family as well?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Okay, so she made a comment that her family wouldn't be on the show and it was implied that they didn't approve and also that she might be slightly embarrassed of them because she made the comment they're from the, quote, dirty, dirty South and have certain types of values associated with that.
Speaker: So I'm guessing they're like card-carrying maggot, possibly would be kind of racist against...
Speaker: Is she fully, she doesn't look to me like she's fully white.
Speaker: I think she said she's biracial.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Oh, that makes sense.
Speaker: Cause I was just a bit confused.
Speaker: I saw her friends seemed really cool.
Speaker: I liked them, but I just wondering like, where's her family?
Speaker: But yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker: I must've missed that bit.
Speaker: So like Cole, it seems like the values that their family have are not values that they share.
Speaker: So they're embarrassed to bring their family in front of the camera because it would not reflect on who they're trying to be.
Speaker: I did really like the fact that she got stuck into like the Nigerian food because I know like this is just a side note, but especially people in the West, there was a TikTok going around about the pound of jam and the egusi challenge, which is like a staple meal in Nigeria.
Speaker: Really, really nice meal.
Speaker: That will be like my death row meal.
Speaker: It will be like my mum's pound of jam and egusi.
Speaker: That will be my death row meal.
Speaker: But they were all eating it and just acting like quite disgusted.
Speaker: That's actually like high-key racism.
Speaker: Like they were talking about it like it's dog food.
Speaker: And it's like, okay, it's fair enough.
Speaker: You don't like it.
Speaker: But I wouldn't record myself eating, I don't know, the national dish of Germany and then spitting out and acting disgusted.
Speaker: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker: I think that's a pretty shitty thing to do.
Speaker: This was a thing on TikTok.
Speaker: It was like the pound of jam and a goosey challenge.
Speaker: And it was going around and it was basically just like white teenagers just eating it and then just pretending to be sick or just saying, ugh, disgusting, whatever.
Speaker: What's in it?
Speaker: A goosey.
Speaker: It's like assorted meat.
Speaker: There's loads and loads of spices.
Speaker: I'll put up a picture, but I can't really, I don't actually make it.
Speaker: My mum does.
Speaker: I don't know what's in it, but it's really nice.
Speaker: Really, really nice.
Speaker: 10 out of 10 recommend.
Speaker: And there's lots of palm oil in it as well.
Speaker: So it's a sort of food, like don't wear white clothes with it because it's not coming out if you spill.
Speaker: And so in the episode, they made amela, which is another form of, I guess, like
Speaker: pounded substance and then they also made a foru roll which is spinach as well and I really like that she like gave it a go and she seemed to really like it so I was like pretty proud of that as well and I was like yeah yeah rep the Nigerian food
Speaker: Repping Nigerian food.
Speaker: Although I think someone should have told her like you can eat it with a fork because it's normally eaten with the hands.
Speaker: Like and now me and my parents even, they don't eat it with their hands because it's very, very messy.
Speaker: So it was a bit awkward when she was like, can I use a fork?
Speaker: And I was like, yes, use a fork.
Speaker: Like a lot of Nigerians use forks anyway, because it's just cleaner and you don't get like the stew in your nails and shit.
Speaker: But you can eat it with your hands as well.
Speaker: It's commonly done.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: That was quite nice that she wasn't intimidated by the Nigerian culture because the Nigerian culture can be very, very overwhelming.
Speaker: And I wonder if they end up getting married, if she's going to have the traditional wedding as well, because that's another thing that is, it's a very, very Nigerian thing.
Speaker: I believe SK might be Yoruba or Ibo.
Speaker: He said Yoruba because he said he spoke speaks.
Speaker: Yeah, Yoruba.
Speaker: Yeah, so I'm Yoruba as well.
Speaker: And so we have a traditional wedding.
Speaker: So this goes usually before the legal wedding, like the white wedding.
Speaker: And that can be really difficult for people who aren't from the Nigerian culture.
Speaker: So I remember when my sister got married, her husband is Ghanaian and he didn't understand it because it's basically a second wedding.
Speaker: So it's like double the money.
Speaker: You're dressed in traditional outfits.
Speaker: And it's not really like a ceremony ceremony, but it's more just like a gigantic like comedy roast of each other's family with a bit of
Speaker: That's literally what it is with a bit of ceremony behind it.
Speaker: And it can be very, very overwhelming if you're not from the Yoruba culture because Yoruba people at parties, they can be quite full on.
Speaker: So I wonder how they'll navigate that if it gets to it.
Speaker: I'll be interested to see that.
Speaker: They did in the previews for the final episodes talk, or there was some discussion about whether or not she was going to wear a Nigerian wedding dress and she said no.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: Yeah, again, that's because you can't, that's a whole palaver in itself, because you can't actually buy a Nigerian wedding dress.
Speaker: You have to buy the material and then get it sewn.
Speaker: And if your tailor is shit, you're just going to have a bad time, basically.
Speaker: so but yeah it'll be interesting to see like how that goes because i would say like nigerian like culture to an outsider even if you're an african from a different country say ghana or anywhere else it's still very overwhelming and sometimes it just doesn't make sense and she's obviously american i know she's had two friends uh girlfriends who were nigerian but it's very different when you're marrying into that culture as well were her friends nigerian or no she just said she had friends
Speaker: Her girlfriend, she said she had two of her best friends growing up, were Nigerian.
Speaker: So moving on with that conversation, when her friend's basically calling out the fact that if they were to get married, then first of all, they would have to travel back and forth because SK was going to graduate school in California, despite them living in Texas.
Speaker: And then the other thing which I really...
Speaker: thought Raven was spot on about was like, she was very aware of the financial impact of that.
Speaker: She was like, I don't want to be suddenly if we get married, have two people on one income because you're going to be in school.
Speaker: And she's like, I have a certain lifestyle that I like to live.
Speaker: And that's the lifestyle I'm going to live period.
Speaker: So she came up, she like point blank said that if we're going to split and be living in different states while we're married, then like you have to also be contributing to the household bills.
Speaker: For like the two places that we're living.
Speaker: Fair play.
Speaker: And I'm also guessing that I don't know how much, you know, Pilates instructors make, but it might be enough for one person to have a great salary.
Speaker: Probably not enough for two people.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because she's freelance as well.
Speaker: And I know a couple of yoga teachers and Pilates teachers who freelance and it's really quite stressful.
Speaker: I think one of them said it as well.
Speaker: It's like she also takes private classes and then on top of that having to travel.
Speaker: It's going to be a lot.
Speaker: Yeah, so she was saying she can't necessarily just rebuild her entire client base in California.
Speaker: No, she can't.
Speaker: And it's so competitive out there, especially the PT, yoga, Pilates business.
Speaker: So, so competitive, especially in California somewhere, you know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And she didn't seem interested in moving.
Speaker: So I like that she asserted her boundaries about like how she was going to live.
Speaker: Once again, completely different reaction to that from the Reddit crowd and from the like who basically treated her like a gold digger.
Speaker: It's good that we have like our own love is blind conversations on FDS because like how I perceive that is completely different.
Speaker: And I think we would perceive that as completely different than like your average Redditor or reality TV show watcher because I feel like they like to attack the women who once again are reserved or have standards that aren't like they feel are personally too high.
Speaker: I don't think that's unrealistic for her, especially if she says that like before she was dating guys that were mostly like they contributed to her lifestyle somehow.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like that does not seem unrealistic for her at all.
Speaker: And also I find it a bit weird actually with SK, why he would go on a show where you're getting married and then up six and do something like a full time further degree.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just find the logic behind that really, really weird because it's like, that is huge.
Speaker: That's a massive, massive life change.
Speaker: And it's a lot to ask of somebody.
Speaker: I think even it can knowledge that, but it's a lot to ask of somebody who you just got married to, to basically say, I just think the logic behind that is a bit weird.
Speaker: Like, wouldn't you get your degrees first and then like look to settle down, like literally settle down?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I know that there's a lot of time between when they apply for the show when the show is filmed.
Speaker: So it could be like maybe he applied to grad school and then something in between time.
Speaker: He didn't really know this would happen.
Speaker: But at the same time, yeah, I think I kind of agree with her friends, even though it's a little bit harsh that especially if like Raven's not the type to be.
Speaker: I mean, she's going to be alone, right?
Speaker: In Texas all the time and then expecting to have her husband be living in California like that actually does seem wholly unrealistic.
Speaker: And it's like, what does she get out of that?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like, what is she going to be getting out of that except for holding herself hostage, you know, trying to find love or whatever she wants to do for two years while he moves to another state and pursues his goals?
Speaker: Like, that doesn't help her push along her professional goals either, which is what I think her friends are getting at.
Speaker: Like, she's ambitious by herself, right?
Speaker: And so the idea that she can't, like, she's got to put all on hold because, you know, her husband is not going to be there to support her through that.
Speaker: It's like, well, she might as well just move mad by herself, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I don't see them getting married.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: I sort of feel like, touching on what Rose said, I sort of feel like out of all the girls on this series, I think they tried to make Raven out to be the villain out of all of them in terms of how it was edited.
Speaker: So, for example, do you know when Bartise was pouring his heart out and she was just doing a workout?
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: Which is hilarious by the way, because I think she saw through Bartise's bullshit, right?
Speaker: Before everybody else did.
Speaker: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker: I do think they are trying to make her out to be the villain.
Speaker: Like she's very conventionally attractive.
Speaker: She has a bit of an unconventional background.
Speaker: She's a Pilates instructor, clearly very into her looks and her fitness, which is great.
Speaker: And I just think off the back of that, and also she, also she knows what she wants out of a relationship.
Speaker: She's clearly dated wealthy men and, you know, she's not willing to lower her standard of living for a guy.
Speaker: They want to punish her for it.
Speaker: I think the way it was edited, they made her out to be like the villain of the series.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So the jumping jacks thing was hilarious because it definitely seemed like Bartice was forcing that emotional connection a little bit.
Speaker: And so I think she picked up on that, but like Bartice is a little bit full of shit.
Speaker: I think my respect for her just shot up after the later conversation with her in the pool because she saw straight through his bullshit.
Speaker: Like she knew that he was just all about her looks and not really about her as a person.
Speaker: And she just basically didn't even take in any of his compliments because he was laying it on really thick with her.
Speaker: And I think that actually we'll come into Bartista in a bit, but yeah, that's what I want to say about Raven.
Speaker: He's like, we're both the type that'll turn heads when you look in the room, when you walk in the room.
Speaker: Yeah, he was just laying on thick, like super thick with her and she just wasn't having any of it.
Speaker: And I respect that, to be honest.
Speaker: So, which brings us to the next dynamic, which is between Bartice and Nancy, but really the Bartice, Raven, Nancy sort of love triangle.
Speaker: It's not really a love triangle because Raven is clearly not interested, but... Did you say lust triangle on behalf of Bartice?
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: So let's start with Bartice.
Speaker: So I have a confession to make.
Speaker: So if you want to know the type of guys that I date, Bartice.
Speaker: I thought you were going to say you dated Barty so I was like don't say it don't say it don't say it I haven't dated him specifically but I've dated him his character it's like sometimes tough to watch these shows when you start to see familiar patterns in your own background but like when I think about the guys I've dated in the past and I'm like oh I see why everybody dislikes him now
Speaker: He started off all right.
Speaker: Young, seemed quite ambitious.
Speaker: I think my overall impression of him is that he's an opportunist.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Bartiz is like, he's just a nice guy manipulator, right?
Speaker: I mean, he's just got that whole like a spit shine that a lot of consultants have, you know, like, or he just has this attitude, like, okay, I'm going to get what I want by like, kind of emotionally bombarding people and saying all the right things that people want to hear.
Speaker: And then like forcing an emotional connection.
Speaker: And then, you know, when something turns him off, or he doesn't want to deal with something, he just basically does the silent treatment,
Speaker: which is, I think what happened with Nancy that at some point he wasn't actually interested in Nancy anymore.
Speaker: And rather than just like be honest after a while, or like, he'll just kind of start to like gaslight her about, you know, what his issue is with her.
Speaker: Yeah, and he even said himself, and this should have been a big red, we'll get on to Nancy in a bit, but he even said, like, he's been in relationships where he's supposedly loved a woman, but then it always fizzles out on his end.
Speaker: And to me, that's like a glaring red flag.
Speaker: And this is after a couple of months as well, not even years.
Speaker: And it's just like, hmm...
Speaker: Yeah, I think he doesn't know what he wants, right?
Speaker: I think he's just trying to connect with a bunch of different people and then like not having a clue.
Speaker: He strikes me as somebody who goes for somebody's looks in the way he was going or trying to go for Raven and then realizes that there isn't anything he actually likes about the person.
Speaker: Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker: Like he's got an image of what he wants a woman to look like.
Speaker: And so that's what he wants.
Speaker: So guys like that, a lot of times they'll do is they'll, so this is like, okay, this is all from my experience.
Speaker: Let me put it this way.
Speaker: They'll find women they're attracted to, and then they'll just try to like bully and mold her and manipulate her into the woman they actually want.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And rather than accepting who she is.
Speaker: Or finding the woman that they want because they usually can't get the woman that they want.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: So having been on the other side of it, where I've dated a guy who I feel like maybe went after me for very superficial reasons.
Speaker: And then, yeah, they basically feel like I can just kind of manipulate her to be whatever I want her to be.
Speaker: Like, instead of like connecting with you as a person, they want the look, right?
Speaker: They want to present a certain image about themselves.
Speaker: But Nancy, oh gosh, I feel really bad for her.
Speaker: She's clearly very successful and smart and intelligent in her own right.
Speaker: But I feel like she's trying to prove something by staying with Baptiste, even though she knows he's not attracted to her.
Speaker: Yeah, that was so weird.
Speaker: I mean, the thing is, is like, I think she's a bit confused about it because at first he was all about it and they had sex the first night.
Speaker: So side note, I feel like all of the, man, you can see like just a massive difference in most of the couples that had sex the first night.
Speaker: And I feel like that was a mistake and that most of the women should have waited a night or two.
Speaker: right?
Speaker: Like to actually get to know that person, because I feel like some of the like the schism happened like immediately after they started having sex because everyone had post-nut clarity.
Speaker: I think Colleen and Zena being like the biggest examples of that.
Speaker: But that's why I still think post-nut clarity for women is a thing too.
Speaker: So I definitely feel like the first night they're all in the tub.
Speaker: They're all flirting.
Speaker: He's all over her.
Speaker: So she probably thinks like, okay, he's into me.
Speaker: He's sexually into it.
Speaker: And once again, like, I don't think he's not attracted to her.
Speaker: I don't think he has a freaking clue what he wants other than like shallow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think physically though, he's not into her, especially with the way he was all over the way we're speaking about Raven physically.
Speaker: He never spoke about Nancy in a 10th or a third of the same way.
Speaker: So my experience with guys like that is they'll fuck a lot of different women with a lot of different body types.
Speaker: I don't think it's like, but he likes how striking Raven is to people, right?
Speaker: That's why he made the comment like, oh, I feel like we're both the type of people that people pay attention to and they walk through, walk into a room.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: He wants to feel seen like that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like that's the image he wants.
Speaker: But I still think he wants to fuck Nancy.
Speaker: Like I think he was sexually attracted to her at one point.
Speaker: And then probably like I said, he just had posts that clarity.
Speaker: It just sort of fizzled out because there's nothing there keeping him there.
Speaker: Like they don't have like that much of an emotional connection.
Speaker: But the post not clarity has temporarily gone away when he found out how much money and how successful her businesses are.
Speaker: You could literally see him.
Speaker: It was almost like he'd had like a road to Damascus moment and the light hit his eyes when she found out that she's got properties.
Speaker: And she was saying, you know, my money is our money.
Speaker: And he just he was all about that.
Speaker: And I thought that was a mistake on Nancy's part.
Speaker: I get they're getting married, but to present it as in like, you know, we're a team as opposed to saying almost like you need to, I'm hoping that you can join me at that level.
Speaker: Do you see what I mean?
Speaker: I think that was a mistake on her part.
Speaker: Well, okay.
Speaker: So Nancy has a lot of her property because of her ex.
Speaker: So she co-owns a lot of this stuff and it looks like her name's on stuff she's not actually managing anymore, which massive, massive mistake.
Speaker: So, okay.
Speaker: So some of the chatter about that, and I actually looked to see if other people were noticing some of the discount continuity between...
Speaker: like the number she was claiming and then what was actually realistic for the area that she owned properties in.
Speaker: And so I think that she's exaggerating a lot of that, first of all, but then too, like she doesn't have that much control over all those assets anyways, because they are joint property with her ex who she's not married to.
Speaker: So like her ex-boyfriend apparently is like a realtor as well.
Speaker: some kind of realtor.
Speaker: So it sounds like she put in her money, she got into investing real estate with him, and then they broke up.
Speaker: And now she's just underwater with him on some of these properties.
Speaker: Because I'm like, I think it's unrealistic that she's bringing in $6,000 to $9,000 a month for like, what's essentially an Airbnb in Dallas, and like a not so nice area of Dallas.
Speaker: So I think once again, it's an image more so than reality.
Speaker: Anyways, Nancy's family seem to have clocked
Speaker: Bartice on that because one of the things his mom said was like, I think you're full.
Speaker: I think she directly said, I think you're full of shit.
Speaker: Or like, I think you're lying to me.
Speaker: I think she said, I know when someone's lying to me.
Speaker: I'm not sure if she directs it specifically at him, but she basically gave him a warning.
Speaker: Like, I know when someone's lying to me, I deal with criminals and you basically don't want to make me angry, basically, because she's a bail bondsman.
Speaker: So she gave like a thinly veiled threat to him because also she was asking him things like, do you have any debt and stuff like that?
Speaker: And it was weird because Barty said he couldn't even write a check for $3,000, which I'm not sure what his profession is.
Speaker: He might just have student debt because he's only 25.
Speaker: So he's only been graduated like three years.
Speaker: Yeah, he graduated, I think, in 2018.
Speaker: So he was talking about student debt, his car loan.
Speaker: And obviously Nancy doesn't have any debt as well.
Speaker: So I'm probably rightfully so.
Speaker: They're probably quite suspicious of the men she brings home just to make sure that they're not gold diggers or whatever, you know.
Speaker: Okay, here's what Nancy's mom said verbatim.
Speaker: So I've got my own business as a bail bond.
Speaker: I've been doing this for 15 years now.
Speaker: I learned how to read people.
Speaker: I'm watching you.
Speaker: I'm observing you because I can tell from your eyes if you're lying when you're talking and trying to pretend you're somebody else that you're not.
Speaker: So basically, then he's just looking at her.
Speaker: She's like, I don't want to scare you, but I'm that person.
Speaker: But you don't want to see me mad.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So it's a thinly veiled threat, I think.
Speaker: I was talking about Nancy's family, but we can get to Barty's family.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Remember her brothers were like calling or basically like, oh, well, we don't understand why you like her.
Speaker: Essentially, like they were trying to grill him.
Speaker: But like I said, when he tried to articulate why he likes Nancy, he doesn't have things that come off the top of his tongue, essentially.
Speaker: And I think Nancy's family was picking up on that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So moving on to Barty's family, Barty's family, as well as their conversation on abortion.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I found it funny how like, like, Barty seems to be so anti-abortion and then was very quick to admit, oh, I've bought Plan B sometimes.
Speaker: I've bought Plan B. I'm like.
Speaker: But Plan B is not abortion.
Speaker: Let's be clear about that.
Speaker: I don't want to confuse those.
Speaker: It is an abortion, but I.
Speaker: I still think that it's like, I'm not convinced that someone like Bartice wouldn't push for an abortion if he felt was in his best interest to do so, is what I'm saying.
Speaker: And I just find guys who have that sort of stance really, really dodgy, especially when plan B doesn't affect their bodies.
Speaker: And he was like, oh, you know, sometimes when I'm just in parenthood, I've also bought plan B again.
Speaker: To me, it's like, it doesn't seem like you have any regard for the woman because plan B, it's really intense for the woman.
Speaker: It can completely mess up your cycle, like heavy bleeding.
Speaker: So I didn't like it when he said that, but then he was trying to be all high and mighty about abortion.
Speaker: I didn't like that.
Speaker: No, I agree.
Speaker: And yeah, once again, it's about him.
Speaker: So, and his image and everything.
Speaker: So it's going to be less about how things are practically happening.
Speaker: Again, he just seems like really young and immature, like he hasn't lived a whole lot of life.
Speaker: So like what Nancy gave was a very mature answer about abortion, because she understands the nuances of like actually having to raise a special needs child.
Speaker: So it looks like they disagreed mostly on whether or not to abort a child if they found out it was special needs.
Speaker: And I feel like it's really easy to feel like you're taking the moral high ground.
Speaker: Like, of course I would love it, but then he may not.
Speaker: Like the thing about that is like a lot of people feel like, oh, I'm going to be this way and I'm going to be that way.
Speaker: But a lot of men like that will be the first ones to cut and run when it's too hard.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I think Nancy's more realistic in that she's like, I've seen it destroy families.
Speaker: And Bartista's like, it won't destroy a family, but he doesn't know that.
Speaker: Like he's not even mature enough to have a functional relationship with this yet.
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: His answer to me just read really, really immature.
Speaker: And then like him being like, well, I don't think it's okay for women to have more than one abortion if they made a mistake or something.
Speaker: But I want to know if that was a value judgment rather than he thinks abortion should be illegal.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: It was a weird conversation.
Speaker: And also, that's actually raised a really good point.
Speaker: It's like, he doesn't think abortion is wrong because he was willing to make an exception if she was raped or whatever.
Speaker: But like I had sex and I got pregnant as if the woman can get pregnant on her own, then he has an issue with that.
Speaker: And to me, that's just classic misogyny.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It seemed like he was basically like, oh, you should have the kid anyways.
Speaker: If it was more than one time that you had a mistake, like it's your responsibility to raise the kid, which once again is like weird to kind of project what you feel someone else's choice should be.
Speaker: And like, I feel like that'd be the exact type of person who maybe shouldn't have a child if they don't want to.
Speaker: A person who's not like responsible enough consistently use birth control.
Speaker: You know, that's the thing is like, I just found his stance on that quite misogynistic in the sense that it was very much like basically using, you know, if a woman has sex and she gets pregnant or she's just have it anyway.
Speaker: It's almost like it's like a punishment for women, you know, being sexually active and also forgetting the fact that, you know, she didn't get pregnant by herself, you know.
Speaker: Yeah, and his sister's response to it was weird.
Speaker: I didn't understand why she was crying.
Speaker: She just started crying, yeah.
Speaker: I wonder if they cut something out.
Speaker: Yeah, dodgy editing, but she just started crying and saying she felt really strongly about it and it was just really bizarre.
Speaker: Maybe she has like a special needs child and maybe she's struggled with some kind of disability.
Speaker: Because that's the only thing I can think of is like maybe someone in their family has a disability and that's why he feels very strongly.
Speaker: Possibly, possibly.
Speaker: That you shouldn't abort a child for having a disability.
Speaker: Like that's the only way everyone's reaction would make sense and like his complete upset about it.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I actually am in a situation where ultimately it's always the woman's choice, but I can see where someone who maybe has someone in their family who's disabled would hear someone who said that and feel a little bit like triggered.
Speaker: The only reason I'm even giving that the benefit of the doubt is because of the way that Bartisa's sister acted.
Speaker: Like she seemed really, really upset.
Speaker: which makes me feel like maybe she has personal experience, but someone in that case.
Speaker: I mean, that's one of those like hard choices that I feel like is Nancy's to make, right?
Speaker: It's whoever's the pregnant, which is the woman, whoever gets pregnant gets to decide that for herself.
Speaker: It's not anybody else's decision.
Speaker: So that's her prerogative.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What did you think of Andrew, the pussy scavenger?
Speaker: Andrew made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
Speaker: I am not kidding.
Speaker: From the moment he walked onto camera to the moment, like the last one I saw him, something about him like creeped me out.
Speaker: They genuinely gave me like Elliot Rogers, like Patrick Bateman's like sociopath vibes.
Speaker: And then when the scene that they showed of him like putting eye drops in his eyes to make it look like he was crying, I was like, oh my fucking God.
Speaker: I didn't get that.
Speaker: No, he's like, everything about him is so contrived to present a certain image.
Speaker: I'm like, this guy's a psychopath.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And then like the eyedrop thing only confirmed it.
Speaker: Like I thought he was creepy from the moment he came on camera.
Speaker: And then the eyedrop thing kind of double, double down.
Speaker: I'm like, oh no, this is a person who has been meticulously curating an image a certain way because they are fucked up inside.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's the person who, like, he scares me, like quite literally scares me.
Speaker: That's the first person in a reality show where I'm like, I would not be surprised if like 10 years down the line, it turns out like he murdered somebody.
Speaker: Yeah, him and Matt.
Speaker: Yeah, I can see them both doing that to be fair.
Speaker: fucking crazy andrew's the creepiest like so far the creepiest person i've seen on any of these reality shows and i'm not sure why he was randomly at that part i guess it was maybe a cast reunion yeah cast reunion party but it was just his when nancy was like no i don't regret not choosing you it was just like game over
Speaker: Yeah, no, she's right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, but again, I'm glad that she said that in front of the cameras and not someplace by themselves, because I feel like he would do something psychotic.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Man, that guy, I've never been so creeped out by an individual person as I did watching that show.
Speaker: And then the eye drops thing, I was like, oh, this dude's crazy, crazy.
Speaker: He's crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.
Speaker: But I don't think Nancy and Baptiste, if they do say yes, they'll be divorced within the year.
Speaker: I don't think they should say yes.
Speaker: And like, obviously, I think the beginning of the end is when he saw Raven.
Speaker: There was a conflicting discussion about like whether or not he should have been honest about how he felt when he met Raven versus Nancy.
Speaker: So this is like some people feel like him saying that was cruel.
Speaker: But then on the other hand, I feel like it gives Nancy clarity.
Speaker: So I feel like in some respects, you should encourage growth to tell on themselves.
Speaker: So I think it's good.
Speaker: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: She just kind of didn't accept it right away because she's like, well, I love him so much.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just think he doesn't know what he wants other than like what he feels like would make him look good.
Speaker: And so obviously like being with Raven, he feels would make him look better than being with Nancy, you know, even with Nancy's properties, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker: But so now he just like has kind of a dismissive attitude towards Nancy.
Speaker: And because once that stops being there or he doesn't feel like his image is being boosted, then he loses interest because there's nothing they're sustaining.
Speaker: There's nothing they're sustaining his like emotional connection with that person.
Speaker: I don't think he's like emotionally connecting with any of these people.
Speaker: So trust me, I've dated, I've dated this guy in multiple forms.
Speaker: So, you know, like you watching other people get tortured, like you were tortured before.
Speaker: Like, ah, fuck me.
Speaker: This is why it was never going to work.
Speaker: So I also thought it was funny the way that he confronted Nancy and Andrew.
Speaker: To me, that was so fake.
Speaker: I feel like he's trying to set it up so that he can like pawn Nancy off on Andrew so he doesn't feel like a bad guy when he breaks it off with Nancy because he doesn't want Nancy anymore.
Speaker: But he's like, it's coming across like people pleasing tendencies.
Speaker: Like he doesn't want to look like the bad guy.
Speaker: So he's going to keep like playing the role.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So yeah, he's a nut.
Speaker: Massively immature.
Speaker: So who is next on our docket?
Speaker: So there's like the Matt Bolton, Colleen, Zanab and Cole quadruplet.
Speaker: Because, okay, so they're definitely hands down the most like toxic people on the show, I think, actually.
Speaker: I know like the fandom like hates Bartiz the most.
Speaker: So short story would happen to Matt, his high school sweetheart that he moved in and married right after his 18th birthday eventually cheated on him and like was pregnant by another man and left him.
Speaker: So he's clearly like very damaged by that and hair trigger temper at everything.
Speaker: Yeah, his temper scares me, really scares me.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: He was like, I'm not going to get played.
Speaker: So long story short.
Speaker: So yeah, let's get to the point.
Speaker: So long story short.
Speaker: So Matt matched with Colleen.
Speaker: So Colleen was rejected by both Brennan and then who else before she was married, proposed to by Matt.
Speaker: But she was like crying over both of those guys.
Speaker: Was it Cole?
Speaker: I think it was Cole.
Speaker: It might have been Cole.
Speaker: Yeah, I think she was actually rejected by two other guys in their pod.
Speaker: And like she was crying and crying like in the room, like in the room with the other ladies.
Speaker: And to me, like she just seems like she has really, really poor self-esteem and like bad emotional boundaries with people.
Speaker: And she kept bleeding with the fact that she's a ballerina.
Speaker: And like she just seems like a massive, massive pick me.
Speaker: Yeah, she can like do the splits in sex and stuff.
Speaker: She was quite sexually forward.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She's trying too hard.
Speaker: And now you put someone like that who is desperate for someone's approval and then has poor boundaries.
Speaker: And then you put someone like Matt who is like hypersensitive and completely explosive at the idea that a woman might cheat on him or not have good boundaries.
Speaker: And he takes Colleen's evidence.
Speaker: He looks at Colleen's people-pleasing ways as evidence that she's going to cheat on him, right?
Speaker: And so like he's explosively reacting to her.
Speaker: You can see after they had that first fight, like you could see like she was almost shrinking into herself, like an abusive
Speaker: person i think he is emotionally abusive 100 like i think he is he's controlling right he's controlling he's like has a crazy explosive temper and someone like colleen who doesn't have like good boundaries with people is clearly like getting sucked into his abusive shit yeah is basically what my point was
Speaker: And this is part of the reason why I think it's an orange flag when a guy talks very early on about how he's been done over by women.
Speaker: Because I feel like they're setting you up, you know, so that they can retaliate against you and then use the fact that I've been played before like Matt does as almost an excuse.
Speaker: So you don't recognise that what he's doing is abusive because Colleen isn't his ex.
Speaker: And I believe that he set up that story so then when he feels in his insecurities, he can lash out at her and then say, it's because I was cheated on before.
Speaker: I don't want to get played this time.
Speaker: It's just classic.
Speaker: I swear Lindy Bancroft talks about men like him in his book, like just classic abuser.
Speaker: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So he's an abusive piece of shit.
Speaker: It just made me really cold.
Speaker: So I remember like my ex used to be like, you remember when they had the fight and she walks off crying and he just sits there carrying on eating.
Speaker: And I just find like that just to me, that wasn't triggering, but it just reminded me of the times when like I would be crying my eyes out with a guy I dated and he just wouldn't give a shit.
Speaker: And he just kept doing whatever he was doing.
Speaker: And I just feel like that is the sign of somebody who doesn't care about you.
Speaker: Because if you're crying, even if they're annoyed or angry at you, they would at least try to, you know, see what's going on, you know, see, you know, like, how can we resolve this?
Speaker: They wouldn't just, you know, leave you to cry.
Speaker: And he just looks like, so I could see the rage as well within him.
Speaker: And it just terrified me, to be honest.
Speaker: Yeah, that was like a completely inappropriate, out of line, absolute insane way to act towards someone, even if you do think that their flirting was inappropriate.
Speaker: Like that's abuse, right?
Speaker: Like he's in that place where he feels like he has such a righteous anger, right?
Speaker: That he doesn't care what's going on with her because he feels like, well, it's good that you feel bad because he wants to punish her for being, I guess, in his mind, like being too flirty with Matt.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then the second time where I guess he went back to the hotel and then Colleen, I guess, went out to the club without telling him.
Speaker: And so he flips out then too.
Speaker: He was like, I don't know.
Speaker: I'm going to get played.
Speaker: I'm not trying to get played.
Speaker: You know, I ain't getting played.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like he needs like deep, serious, intense therapy because he's clearly like, I don't know how long ago this happened to him, but he's very clearly not over it.
Speaker: And his coping mechanisms of control and abuse are abusive.
Speaker: So that's clearly unacceptable.
Speaker: So it's kind of.
Speaker: I hope she gets out to be honest, because, yeah, he legit terrifies me.
Speaker: She should say no.
Speaker: He's crazy.
Speaker: I mean, because he's barely holding back and he's on camera, right?
Speaker: So I just can't imagine how it would look off camera.
Speaker: So I assume this is on their best behavior because they're being filmed.
Speaker: So who knows?
Speaker: knows what it's like, what he's like, you know, if they were a couple and this wasn't like, and you could see her whole continents just like shrink.
Speaker: But again, such a massive pick me that she just seems like she's going to like run after anybody who gives her that type of approval, including Cole, right?
Speaker: Who Cole was basically like, Oh, I find you attractive.
Speaker: You're the type of guy, girl I would sometimes go to, which I feel like for people who've only known each other for two, three weeks, like I know that sucks because they're engaged, but I also feel like
Speaker: It didn't seem like it was overly flirtatious on her part, like she was trying to get with Cole all of a sudden.
Speaker: No, I didn't get that either.
Speaker: I think it goes back to her people pleasing, like you said.
Speaker: She just wanted to appease him and even Cole said that to Matt.
Speaker: She was just trying to appease me.
Speaker: She wasn't trying to flirt with me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you have someone like that.
Speaker: So Matt wanted was for her to draw a boundary like how Raven did, right?
Speaker: So how like Raven was basically like, that's cool, but this, this, this, and this.
Speaker: But like Colleen can't do that because Colleen is a people pleaser and Colleen has poor boundaries.
Speaker: But at the same time, so I'm like, someone who can't do that is always going to trigger someone who's a little bit, who's jealous tendencies.
Speaker: But then someone who's like Matt, who's basically controlling and insane, he's going to get explosively angry, which is abuse, by the way.
Speaker: But even if she drew those boundaries, you know, men like Matt, they would find something else.
Speaker: Something else, for sure.
Speaker: They would find something else.
Speaker: It's not about Colleen drawing boundaries.
Speaker: It's just that Matt is abusive.
Speaker: Like, that's what it is.
Speaker: Yeah, he's going to find whatever it is to justify.
Speaker: He's clearly hypervigilant and, like, finding whatever he can find to justify why he should be in this, like, righteous, angry rage all the time.
Speaker: He's a type of person, even if she asked another man for directions, he would explode at that.
Speaker: Be like, you should have asked me, or why didn't you ask a woman?
Speaker: Or, you know, why are you talking to a man?
Speaker: Like, he just gives that vibe.
Speaker: He's crazy.
Speaker: So, fucking run.
Speaker: Under no circumstances, Colleen.
Speaker: I hope she says no.
Speaker: I'm not convinced she'll say no, but I hope she says no.
Speaker: She should have let him go when he said he was breaking things off.
Speaker: And I don't understand why Barty's just trying to get him to stay at the end.
Speaker: Again, so abusive.
Speaker: He knows that she would be devastated.
Speaker: He knows this.
Speaker: That's why he's threatening to leave.
Speaker: That's why he threatens to leave.
Speaker: It's just he's such a piece of shit.
Speaker: And at one point in the episode, I was like, I'm kind of, I don't condone cheating, but I'm glad you got cheated on and your wife left you because you're a piece of shit.
Speaker: Yeah, he does sound like a piece of shit.
Speaker: It's like nowhere around that.
Speaker: So yeah, so Colleen's got to fix her boundaries so she doesn't end up in relationships with abusive men like Matt.
Speaker: And Matt obviously needs like intensive fucking therapy and a reality check that everybody, you know, hey, we all take L's in life, man.
Speaker: Like you're going to just keep, I don't know, being a nutcase until you end up in jail probably.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So which brings us to the other couple.
Speaker: I think the last couple that was the one that there was a lot of focus on as far as their toxic dynamic was concerned, which was Zeneb and Cole.
Speaker: So your impression of Zeneb and Cole?
Speaker: Zeneb, again, we sort of have that
Speaker: I think between them, we almost have the Nancy-Bartiste dynamic where Cole is, he clearly built a picture of who she was in the pod in his head, which is fair enough, by the way.
Speaker: I felt like I could relate to what Cole was saying when he was saying that the person who I thought she was or what she looked like in the pod is different to who she acted like.
Speaker: actually is.
Speaker: And I'm trying to reconcile the two because when I used to date a lot online, I would go through that.
Speaker: So the person that you speak to over Skype or even like a video call, when you actually see them in the flesh, it's often very different.
Speaker: And I'd often say to guys like, you know, your voice doesn't match, you know, what I thought your body would look like or something like that.
Speaker: So I sort of understand that disconnect.
Speaker: But yeah, again, it's quite, I'm not sure if the physical attraction is there.
Speaker: So they were giving me the same vibes as Shane and Natalie from season two.
Speaker: I have zero idea why these two people with clearly massively different personalities are attracted to each other.
Speaker: And different temperaments as well.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But I thought the whole scoring thing was very, very inappropriate.
Speaker: Like I get, you know, how Bartiste is somewhat was honest with, you know, Nancy, how he felt about Raven.
Speaker: But I feel like even he did it in a better way than Cole because Cole gave Colleen like a 10 out of 10 and gave a Nancy a 9 out of 10.
Speaker: I thought that was really, really rude.
Speaker: Gave Zanab a 9 out of 10?
Speaker: Yes, yes, sorry.
Speaker: Yes, Gabe, like, Zenab a nine out of ten.
Speaker: And I just thought that was really... And then he had the audacity to say, like, you know, 80% of women, I wouldn't even score them higher than a six.
Speaker: I'm just like, mate, you're a two.
Speaker: Yeah, he's getting white guy points.
Speaker: This is what I hate.
Speaker: White guy points.
Speaker: I'm so serious.
Speaker: Like I felt that same way about Shane where you can just see like women of color on the show who just like, this guy is not that great.
Speaker: He's just not like, and you can tell that like their insecurities about being a minority more than likely in a majority white environment are getting to them so that they're just overvaluing some of these like clearly scroty guys and overvaluing their opinion way too much.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So Zainab felt rejected by him.
Speaker: And then it felt like she spent the entire time just like taking out that insecurity on him, even when he was like trying to emotionally like reconnect.
Speaker: Like he said things that were like, yeah, like rude, like the rating system or whatever.
Speaker: But at the same time, I feel like their dynamic was set up such that
Speaker: he says like kind of an insensitive thing.
Speaker: And then like, rather than her expressing very clearly, like that, this is like hurtful to me.
Speaker: Like she just starts like negging him and then getting like, yeah, being quite passive aggressive, passive aggressive, bunch of shit.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: About a bunch of shit.
Speaker: And I'm like, that's really, really unhealthy dynamic to set up, except for at the end where like when her and Matt had that little powwow about the commentary that Cole and Colleen had together.
Speaker: And then like, they just, they, they hype each other up to be really mad, then go back and explode.
Speaker: than their partners.
Speaker: Like, what the fuck?
Speaker: Do you remember that?
Speaker: Like, so, like, Matt and Zenit were like, yeah, this is inappropriate, right?
Speaker: What happened?
Speaker: And then they get really, both get really mad.
Speaker: You can imagine, like, you know, like a boxing ring where they go to the corners and they're, like, massaging each other and giving each other water.
Speaker: So, like,
Speaker: exactly what happened and then Zennep goes back to Cole and is like yeah and she's like I knocked him the fuck out yeah and she's like yeah I'm not really here for your little like your little display and then Cole just looked confused like he's like what
Speaker: Cause she's like, she's mad, mad, right?
Speaker: Like they're both on this narrative that they're on and they're not getting off of it.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like, so, and they're just, they're mad because they feel disrespected.
Speaker: They felt very disrespected for that, by the exchange that Matt and Colleen had, which I can, okay.
Speaker: I can definitely understand being on television, not wanting to be humiliated.
Speaker: And then especially if there's like a rating system and the person you're with is saying that they might be more attracted to another person.
Speaker: Colleen, I feel like just doing it out of her people pleasing tendencies and Matt, because he's just like,
Speaker: immature like goofball right like who just kind of he's not really thinking about how the things he says affects other people but like zenib kind of i think because her self-esteem is so like fragile and obviously she's had to take care of herself because her parents died and and she's got more you know she's got a little bit of a chip on her shoulder like she just like starts attacking attacking attacking and i feel like that's not a healthy way to handle that guy but i think if she had better self-esteem like she just wouldn't be as defensive about everything you know
Speaker: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker: She would just accept him for what he is.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I don't know if the age, like, I sort of get the vibe that with like Nancy and like, and also Zainab, they might be feeling insecure about their age and just willing to settle down because they're both over 30.
Speaker: And they're just thinking like, I need to be a wife now.
Speaker: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker: I wonder if that sort of plays into the fact that they are remaining in situations that they should really be bailing out of.
Speaker: Yeah, I wonder if that plays into it.
Speaker: It definitely could be.
Speaker: It's hard to like, I mean, I wonder if she would have created this dynamic outside of the show, even if the guy was the same age as her, though.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I don't even necessarily know if it's just that.
Speaker: And it's just that she, for whatever reason, I thought it was interesting where she was like, well, I'm a grown woman and I wanted to have sex.
Speaker: We had sex the first night.
Speaker: And even like their whole flirtation in the pool, like she just seemed like she was very like trying to put on the image of like what she thought he wanted.
Speaker: And then like after they have sex, that post and that clarity hit both of them.
Speaker: And obviously she went to his house and his house was filthy.
Speaker: Like she's not actually impressed by him.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So like when you look at, when you look at Zeneb's like reaction to them again, she's with him, but I don't think she actually likes him more than like, she seems overly desperate for this guy's approval.
Speaker: And then she doesn't get it.
Speaker: She like lashes out at him.
Speaker: So like when you're watching that dynamic of them after they had sex and then how Zeneb's like, well, he was really distant the next day.
Speaker: And then she's like having this whole narrative go in her head.
Speaker: And it's like, well, he thinks I'm ugly with no makeup on or,
Speaker: I don't really exactly know what the deal was, but it just seemed like they didn't actually connect.
Speaker: And then like after they had sex, that was very, very obvious, right?
Speaker: That like whatever show she was trying to put on to make him like her, you know, I feel like he's been who he is since the first time in the pods.
Speaker: And like, she's been trying to, I think, put on,
Speaker: you know, make herself seem more adventurous than maybe she really is.
Speaker: You know, like Colleen is clearly more easygoing.
Speaker: And like, I think they show the juxtaposition between like Zeneb not wanting to get her hair wet or get in the pool.
Speaker: And then Colleen kind of being like very much like into more playful and into the whole thing that, yeah, that's probably like personality wise, that someone that makes more sense with Cole.
Speaker: So again, I'm like wondering why if Zeneb was different to the point where Cole was confused when she came out of the pods, or if like Cole was
Speaker: Set up that dynamic with Zeneb, like with the expectation that he liked her kind of nitpicking and like mothering him.
Speaker: And, but he thought it was a joke because he didn't see her body language and then being confused that she was like very nitpicky and serious in real life.
Speaker: So I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, what a dumpster fire relationship, to be honest.
Speaker: Yeah, super dumpster fire.
Speaker: Super dumpster fire.
Speaker: I don't think there's anything he can do to make her feel secure.
Speaker: That's the thing.
Speaker: Like, I mean, he could not, like, obviously say douchebag things like, I think Colleen's a 10 out of 10.
Speaker: But, like, at the same time, he can't make her feel secure with herself.
Speaker: Like, she has to kind of take a step back.
Speaker: I just think they're incompatible.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But the thing is, like, what I'm worried about with Zeneb is that she's going to recreate that dynamic with just about any guy.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because if she doesn't like work on her insecurity portion of it is that it'll keep being like she'll find some reason why she thinks she's not good enough for this guy.
Speaker: And then like perpetually like start shit with the entire relationship rather than just like, yeah, breaking things off or admitting her feelings about it.
Speaker: So that's not healthy.
Speaker: So, yeah, they shouldn't make it to the author.
Speaker: They definitely should not get married.
Speaker: Love is clearly not blind.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: why they keep dragging this experiment forward but we're gonna keep we're gonna keep her critiquing it as long as they do i did find it really weird when i think it was is it alexa she says like i came on the show because you know one of my life partner you know um yeah blah blah blah and she's like i've seen other couples who've you know found love on this show and they're still together and i'm just like how many though maybe from like season one like lauren is her name
Speaker: Yeah, season one when they had longer time to talk to each other before like the production started rushing everything.
Speaker: And so then only people that have like weird personality disorder attachment styles get through, right?
Speaker: But I don't think any of the season two couples, none of them are still together.
Speaker: None of them aren't together.
Speaker: I think even the ones that were together that didn't make it onto the show because there was two couples that got engaged on the show that weren't followed by the cameras.
Speaker: And I think they're even broken up.
Speaker: Yeah, both of them split up.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think the problem is, is that they're not giving them enough time to realistically build a connection.
Speaker: And so all we're going to get are these like people that jump the gun and are kind of... And the clout chasers who just want to be on TV.
Speaker: Yeah, which I hope they correct at some point because it's kind of shitty for the show because I feel like the first season was better, but it's now just becoming another reality TV turnaround.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: So that's that.
Speaker: We'll do part two after the reunion episode comes out, I think on November 9th.
Speaker: So stay tuned for part two of Love is Blind.
Speaker: We either do it on the pod, main pod or in the Patreon.
Speaker: So, but anyways, that's our show.
Speaker: Check us out.
Speaker: And you can discuss this episode on thefemaledatingstrategy.com forward slash forum.
Speaker: If you want to talk to us in the forum and
Speaker: Check out our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy for weekly bonus content.
Speaker: You can also submit your roast to scrote, submit your holiday roast, your Thanksgiving roast to scrote to be read by us.
Speaker: Also follow us on Twitter at fem.strat and on Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
Speaker: Thanks for listening, queens.
Speaker: And for all you scrotes out there, we hope Raven shuts you down.
Speaker: Die mad.
Speaker: Die mad.
