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Love Is Blind 3: We Don’t Know Why These People Like Each Other
24 Plays3 years ago
Our favorite car crash dating show is back, with a new cast of characters. We dissect the dynamics between Cole, Zanab,, Raven, SK, Bartise, Nancy, Brennon, Alexa, Matt, & Colleen
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Transcript
Introduction to the FDS Podcast on 'Love is Blind 3'
00:00:06
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:11
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:00:12
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
00:00:14
Speaker
And today we're doing Love is Blind 3.
00:00:16
Speaker
Love is blind is back.
00:00:19
Speaker
Our favorite Netflix car crash.
Critique of 'Love is Blind 3' Format and Connections
00:00:22
Speaker
I didn't actually think it could be worse than season two, but they proved me wrong.
00:00:27
Speaker
I feel overall there was less connection or they showed us less connection between these people in the pods than even the previous two seasons, which made everything feel really rushed.
00:00:38
Speaker
It made me feel like I didn't completely understand why most of these people liked each other.
00:00:43
Speaker
Yeah, I felt the same as well.
00:00:44
Speaker
I think the editing in this season wasn't as good as the previous ones because, like you said, a lot of stuff just didn't really make sense at all to me.
00:00:56
Speaker
I know that we discussed this on the second season that they changed up the format to basically put pressure on couples to commit sooner rather than later, probably to save production costs because in season one, they could basically talk to each other as long as they
Format Changes and Quick Engagements in 'Love is Blind'
00:01:09
Speaker
wanted.
00:01:09
Speaker
And then this new season, most of them were saying, oh, we only got engaged after like two weeks.
00:01:14
Speaker
So I think they started to push the timeline shorter and shorter to people meeting up to the pods to when they could propose and then be on the show, which makes it feel like all the clout chasing people are just trying to get engaged as soon as possible.
00:01:26
Speaker
Yeah, to stay on the show, basically.
00:01:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:31
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:01:31
Speaker
Yeah.
Ro's Fascination with the Toxic Dynamics of 'Love is Blind 3'
00:01:34
Speaker
I don't normally watch reality TV shows, but this one I was just transfixed because it was just a car crash from the beginning up until the last episode.
00:01:42
Speaker
Because I know they're releasing it in batches.
00:01:44
Speaker
So the next couple of episodes are going to come out, I think, the 2nd of November.
00:01:48
Speaker
But what I did watch was just an epic, epic car crash.
00:01:51
Speaker
I don't think I've had it.
00:01:52
Speaker
There's been a season where I've not really bonded with any of the contestants, but this is the first one.
00:01:59
Speaker
I just think they're all just really toxic in their own ways.
00:02:04
Speaker
I had a struggle figuring out what each person saw in the other person besides Brennan and Alexa.
Analyzing Brennan and Alexa's Relationship
00:02:11
Speaker
So I guess we can start with them because they were the only couple that there was enough there that kind of made sense why they liked each other, where the rest of them, I'm just, it's like a big ass question mark.
00:02:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:20
Speaker
about like why are these people together except for they all like to be on reality tv but brennan and alexa they seem like a nice couple but i'm still not sure why they chose each other i'm not really sure to be honest brennan seems to be the guy who's given out the least amount of red flags which the bar's low but i'm still not sure why alexa chose him to be honest i
00:02:43
Speaker
Well, it seems like she liked his sweet, honest demeanor that he liked to eat, that he was more homey like she is, that he liked the whole family aspect of it.
00:02:54
Speaker
Do you know what it reminded me of?
00:02:55
Speaker
Who did it remind you of?
00:02:57
Speaker
Danielle and Nick.
00:02:58
Speaker
No, I didn't get that from them.
00:03:00
Speaker
They gave me those vibes personally because it's just...
00:03:03
Speaker
Okay, yeah, you can bond over that.
00:03:05
Speaker
But when they were talking about their differences in lifestyle, she's quite successful.
00:03:09
Speaker
And he was basically saying, I'm not sure if I can do that for you.
00:03:12
Speaker
I was just a bit like...
00:03:14
Speaker
Okay, so maybe I interpreted that a different way.
00:03:16
Speaker
So her family is successful.
00:03:18
Speaker
It looks like her dad's loaded, essentially.
00:03:20
Speaker
So her dad even makes the comment when Brandon goes to meet her family that like, hey, I didn't expect her to be with a guy who couldn't provide this lifestyle for her.
00:03:28
Speaker
But at the same time, you're the first guy I've actually liked for her.
00:03:32
Speaker
So he says that where he says like, yeah, you're probably maybe the brokest guy that she's brought through the door.
00:03:37
Speaker
But you're also like the most genuine guy and like the first guy I actually want to give my blessing to.
00:03:41
Speaker
So I got the impression that like maybe Alexa dates a lot of like similarly wealthy jerks.
00:03:47
Speaker
And that what she likes about Brennan is like he's simple.
00:03:50
Speaker
He's sweet.
00:03:51
Speaker
He wants to make her happy.
00:03:52
Speaker
He's clearly like extremely attracted to her.
00:03:55
Speaker
He's ready to jump in with like her whole family dynamic and is not overwhelmed by that.
00:04:00
Speaker
Right.
00:04:00
Speaker
Like they have a very clearly a very close knit family.
00:04:03
Speaker
And, you know, he's like made it clear that he's about her and like emotionally connects with her from day one.
00:04:08
Speaker
But yeah, once again, the pods were so short that it's sometimes hard to figure out all of the nuances.
00:04:13
Speaker
Yeah, I think they seem like the most genuine couple at the moment, but the jury's still out for me on them.
00:04:19
Speaker
I couldn't quite, I still couldn't quite work them out.
00:04:22
Speaker
I think there are other couples such as...
00:04:26
Speaker
you know, such as SK and Raven, who we'll get onto later on in the episode, who it made more sense to me why they might be together than Alexa and Brennan.
00:04:35
Speaker
That's so interesting because I was actually going to say I was confused by SK and Raven, except for what I think, which I'll get to them.
00:04:42
Speaker
But okay, so that's funny that we have a completely different perception about like why some people connect and not others.
00:04:48
Speaker
Yeah, I guess I just need to see more of them.
00:04:49
Speaker
I think Alexa, especially Brennan, because he wasn't really featured as much as the others in all the episodes.
00:04:55
Speaker
He's not dramatic is why.
00:04:56
Speaker
Like he seems like he's super straightforward, likes Alexa.
00:05:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:01
Speaker
He wasn't really as featured as much.
00:05:03
Speaker
So the jury's out for me when it comes to him.
00:05:06
Speaker
He reminds me, and let me tell you, like he reminds me of quite a few guys that I've known over the years and men who I would consider to be high value men.
00:05:13
Speaker
Like a lot of them come from the same background is that like, they did not grow up with anything.
00:05:17
Speaker
Like he clearly, he's talked about the fact that he's like, we wouldn't have our heat and lights on if it wasn't for my grandparents.
00:05:22
Speaker
And like,
00:05:22
Speaker
you know, we struggled a lot.
00:05:23
Speaker
And because of that, he has a lot of compassion as well as like drive to better himself.
00:05:28
Speaker
Like he didn't flail.
00:05:30
Speaker
He didn't flinch away.
00:05:31
Speaker
He didn't like when Alexa's dad was testing him, like, look, you know, I'm going to make sure you're living up to your fullest potential.
00:05:38
Speaker
You know, it's important to me that you, if you're going to be integrated in our family, that you like support the way that Alexa wants to live, like not even just financially, just like emotionally, like integrate yourself.
00:05:47
Speaker
And he didn't flinch about any of that.
00:05:49
Speaker
And their culture as well, because they're Israeli, Jewish.
00:05:52
Speaker
Yeah, their culture.
00:05:53
Speaker
Exactly.
00:05:54
Speaker
He was willing to learn about it.
00:05:55
Speaker
So he kind of reminds me of a lot of guys I've known over the years who
SK and Raven: Cultural and Relationship Challenges
00:05:59
Speaker
didn't come from much and are like self-made.
00:06:01
Speaker
Like he's honest about his debt.
00:06:02
Speaker
But at the same time, he's an engineer.
00:06:04
Speaker
So I don't think he's not making peanuts.
00:06:05
Speaker
Like he's got to be making pretty good money.
00:06:07
Speaker
He just doesn't have Alexis family money.
00:06:09
Speaker
He doesn't have long money like Alexis Family Clarity does.
00:06:12
Speaker
But like, you know, he's not scrubbed by any means, but he just doesn't come from much.
00:06:15
Speaker
So I think that like he has a certain humility about him because he didn't really, he didn't come from wealth.
00:06:20
Speaker
So he's not, he doesn't feel like entitled to it.
00:06:22
Speaker
And he also has like, you know, he understands that he has to work hard for the things that he wants in life and doesn't, it feels like, okay,
00:06:29
Speaker
If I'm going to be with this woman, I feel like it's my responsibility to make sure that I am also providing for her in a way that makes her happy.
00:06:36
Speaker
Right.
00:06:37
Speaker
In addition to, you know, just being able to live like he strikes me as that type of guy.
00:06:41
Speaker
He's very, very responsible.
00:06:42
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I don't think he's a bad one.
00:06:44
Speaker
And like I said, he's probably the best out of all the guys from what I've seen.
00:06:48
Speaker
And I liked how he let Colleen down as well.
00:06:51
Speaker
He said in the confessional afterwards that I might have been rude, but I don't think he was rude in how we did it at all.
00:06:57
Speaker
I think he was very respectful, but made it clear that he wasn't interested.
00:07:01
Speaker
And I feel like...
00:07:03
Speaker
Yeah, that's really important because ultimately guys are allowed to not want you, but it's how they go about conveying that that says a lot about them.
00:07:10
Speaker
So yeah, he seems like the least scroaty out of them all, but I'd like to see more of him and them because they weren't really featured.
00:07:16
Speaker
But again, they're quite a cookie cut couple in that sense.
00:07:21
Speaker
So maybe that's why they weren't featured as much.
00:07:23
Speaker
Yeah, they weren't causing a bunch of drama.
00:07:25
Speaker
So that's probably why they were just like, basically, we love to fuck.
00:07:28
Speaker
And so actually about that.
00:07:30
Speaker
So let's touch on that.
00:07:31
Speaker
What I thought was interesting and telling was like how Alexa said their sex life wasn't hitting the first night or two and that she basically had to encourage him.
00:07:39
Speaker
I guess a little bit more physically aggressive in the bedroom.
00:07:42
Speaker
But that makes sense, right?
00:07:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:44
Speaker
So it seems like once again, talking about boundaries, talking about sex, he can like respond.
00:07:49
Speaker
And he didn't come out of the gate, like trying to do some fake alpha male shit.
00:07:52
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:07:54
Speaker
And like now how she's just like 100% happy.
00:07:57
Speaker
She's just basically every time she's on camera, she's like, yeah, we're fucking it's great.
00:08:04
Speaker
I say, yeah, they'll probably say yes to each other, I think.
00:08:07
Speaker
Will they go the distance though?
00:08:08
Speaker
I don't know.
00:08:09
Speaker
Cause I'm not really like love is blind as an experiment.
00:08:12
Speaker
I don't think it works, but I think Alexa and Brennan will say yes at the altar.
00:08:17
Speaker
Definitely.
00:08:17
Speaker
I think they'll say yes too.
00:08:19
Speaker
I'm still iffy.
00:08:20
Speaker
I think I'm with you.
00:08:21
Speaker
Not enough information to tell if they're going to go the distance.
00:08:24
Speaker
And I think if there is a breakup, I think she's going to be the one that breaks it off.
00:08:27
Speaker
Like either she'll want something else that he can provide, which I kind of hope she doesn't marry him and then tries to divorce him later.
00:08:34
Speaker
Like if that's really what she wants, but you know, she seems to really like him like genuinely.
00:08:38
Speaker
So yeah, they seem into each other, which is good.
00:08:41
Speaker
Unquestionably into each other as well, which is more than can be said for some of the other couples.
00:08:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:46
Speaker
Yes.
00:08:47
Speaker
So next on the docket, as far as couples go, SK and Raven.
00:08:55
Speaker
There's so much to unpack.
00:08:58
Speaker
so much i'm not gonna lie as soon as sk said that he comes from a polygamous family i'd have been out oh gosh thing is in nigerian culture that is like so so common so both my grandfathers both had so my maternal grandfather had nine children by five different women one of my mom and my paternal grandfather literally had like a whole second family so he had five boys with my grandmother and then he had like another three with another woman
00:09:28
Speaker
so yeah i can't do it the polygamy my sister actually my sister actually dated a guy who was one of 17 and his dad had like multiple wives they were married to at the same time and the thing is like they all know about each other like they're all cool with each other so i met some of my i guess sub grandmothers when i went to nigeria last and they were all really nice but and that put her off it makes for very very strange family dynamics for sure definitely
00:09:53
Speaker
That's what I would be afraid of, that I would marry into this family and there would be so many unfamiliar family dynamics.
00:09:59
Speaker
And then knowing how my mouth is, I don't know how I would hold my tongue over as soon as anybody said anything I thought was a little bit pick me ish or like justified it.
00:10:10
Speaker
I think I don't think I could hold my tongue in that situation.
00:10:13
Speaker
And the men who do it, they don't really care about the family dynamics.
00:10:18
Speaker
They just procreate and breed with the mob woman.
00:10:20
Speaker
They don't give a shit about, you know, making a cohesive family unit or addressing issues that the stepchildren will have with each other or their stepmoms.
00:10:28
Speaker
They don't give a shit.
00:10:29
Speaker
They just go forth and procreate.
00:10:31
Speaker
Yeah, I know the guys don't give a fuck.
00:10:33
Speaker
I'm concerned that the women who are involved would be...
00:10:38
Speaker
more likely to henpeck me than admit that they were born into a fucked up situation.
00:10:42
Speaker
Because that would be the reason why I would not deal with it.
00:10:45
Speaker
Like there'd be no reason for me to go visit your family if I go over there and they're trying to justify some polygamy shit.
00:10:50
Speaker
Because like, again, once again, I would not hold my tongue.
00:10:53
Speaker
And if I felt like henpecked by his family, then they would never work.
00:10:57
Speaker
And that's kind of the tough thing when you're dealing with like cross-cultural expectations is that it's not even just that.
00:11:03
Speaker
Even if the guy you're dealing with has progressive attitude, like in some respects have to almost like separate themselves from a lot of their family attitude, like a similar to how Cole's doing with his family.
00:11:12
Speaker
Because if you go and are immersed in what they're about, like it's more than likely his female family members will like descend upon you and try to bring you back into like whatever kind of things they've decided about their life or decided about that dynamic.
00:11:26
Speaker
I think in his situation, I would imagine just like has been the case with my family is that they more do it, not necessarily to be a pick me, but more because of economic reasons.
00:11:38
Speaker
The guys they get married to in a polygamous way tend to be very, very wealthy.
00:11:43
Speaker
So if you can find one man who can provide for you, they're very much all about, you know, marriage and stability, you know, and all that jazz.
00:11:50
Speaker
It's not really something that they would necessarily push on you if you are being provided for and you're happy.
00:11:56
Speaker
if that makes sense.
00:11:57
Speaker
But the women that tend to do it, it's more out of, especially, you know, Nigeria has only really been a state as we know it now since 1962.
00:12:05
Speaker
So it's very, very young.
00:12:06
Speaker
There's been a lot of, you know, there's a lot of poverty.
00:12:09
Speaker
There's no middle class.
00:12:10
Speaker
It's either the haves and the have nots.
00:12:12
Speaker
And the way that some women got out of that was just to marry a wealthy man, irrespective of if he had multiple wives already.
00:12:19
Speaker
I see.
00:12:20
Speaker
So, okay.
00:12:20
Speaker
So there's likely to be some kind of self-awareness about their situation such that it wouldn't be a problem if you're like, ah, hell no, fuck that.
00:12:28
Speaker
Like I'm not judging them in the sense of, I get that life sometimes forces you into messed up choices, but you know, much like how I would look at any type of Mormon cult or anything like that, where there's polygamy going on.
00:12:38
Speaker
I mean, I would be so tempted to take a sledgehammer to their worldview every time I met them.
00:12:45
Speaker
It's not worth it for either.
00:12:47
Speaker
We do that.
00:12:48
Speaker
Yeah, that's what we do.
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah, we do that all the time with my family because yeah, it's so fucked up.
00:12:54
Speaker
Like there's some things I could probably be a little bit milder about.
00:12:57
Speaker
Like maybe I could be a little bit more diplomatic about, but I feel like that's not one of them.
00:13:04
Speaker
So yeah, so okay, enough about me.
00:13:06
Speaker
Let's talk about Raven and like Raven's response to this whole thing.
00:13:10
Speaker
So a little bit odd about Raven is like, I couldn't get a read on her at first about like what she was or who she is and like what she's looking for.
00:13:17
Speaker
But I think towards the end or like the middle of the episodes, we got a little bit of a better picture.
00:13:21
Speaker
So she's a Pilates instructor and she's also a bottle girl, which she felt kind of insecure about for some reason.
00:13:26
Speaker
What is a bottle girl?
00:13:27
Speaker
Like, what is it?
00:13:28
Speaker
It's the girl that, like, so if you work at like a high-end club, generally it's the women who serve the drinks to the people at the table.
00:13:35
Speaker
You're basically like a personal waitress for that table.
00:13:38
Speaker
So like you help serve them drinks.
00:13:40
Speaker
You like basically facilitate the vibe or whatever.
00:13:43
Speaker
The way she revealed it was like, I don't know if this is going to be a problem, but I have a job where I work on the weekends.
00:13:47
Speaker
And so I thought she was going to say she was a stripper.
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah, I thought she was going to say stripper.
00:13:51
Speaker
That's what I thought as well.
00:13:52
Speaker
Yeah, unless she is a stripper and then she backed off that discussion or something because of TV.
00:13:57
Speaker
But she says she's a bottle girl, which isn't that huge of a deal.
00:14:00
Speaker
But again, I think this season was filmed in Texas.
00:14:02
Speaker
So I don't know if she's in a part of Texas that's particularly conservative or that would be scandalous.
00:14:07
Speaker
But most places, nobody would really bat an eyelash at that.
00:14:10
Speaker
So she seemed kind of insecure about her, I guess, her job situation or like the type of job that she had and how it was going to affect her relationships.
00:14:17
Speaker
And then after that, so again, she's another person where I don't particularly understand her connection with SK.
00:14:24
Speaker
I can see that she was at one point turned off by Bartiste.
00:14:28
Speaker
It's Bartiste, right?
00:14:30
Speaker
Yeah, Bartiste.
00:14:32
Speaker
She sort of explains it though when she...
00:14:34
Speaker
connects with Bartise in the pool again.
00:14:37
Speaker
I know Bartise will get on to him in a bit, but you know, and he's like complimenting the way she looks, saying she's a baddie, she's a smoke show and whatever.
00:14:44
Speaker
And she said that was all he ever had to say about me.
00:14:48
Speaker
Like even in the pod, he would only compliment her on her looks, whereas SK complimented her on her things like her vulnerability and her emotional intelligence.
00:14:56
Speaker
So I think that was part of the draw was that she clocked, probably rightfully so, that Bartise was just all about her looks and not much else.
00:15:04
Speaker
Yeah, very shallow.
00:15:06
Speaker
And I think that was really, really insightful of her that she was really at least trying to take these experiments seriously and that like she wanted to meet someone that would connect with her on an emotional level outside of like how she's obviously she's a baddie.
00:15:18
Speaker
So she probably gets like a lot of attention from men to the point where she does not value it whatsoever.
00:15:23
Speaker
Yeah, especially as a bottle girl as well.
00:15:27
Speaker
Like, gosh, she's probably yeah.
00:15:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:29
Speaker
So for her, it's probably like I can see this kind of experiment being like someone like her being drawn to this kind of experiment because it's like, yeah, I want to know what kind of man would be attracted to me if he didn't know what I look like.
00:15:40
Speaker
Right.
00:15:40
Speaker
And that it seemed like they're both both her and SK are like very, very chill and that they both are fine with taking things slow.
00:15:48
Speaker
And I thought it was telling.
00:15:49
Speaker
Here's the thing I don't love about a lot of the like the commentary around pretty much any of these dating shows that there's always a woman who's a lot more reserved than the other girls.
00:15:59
Speaker
And then it feels like all the fans always like immediately instinctively don't like her because she's not all over the place, like emoting like some of the other women are.
00:16:07
Speaker
Have you noticed that?
00:16:08
Speaker
Yes.
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:09
Speaker
I see what you mean.
00:16:10
Speaker
Or like shagging their partner.
00:16:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:12
Speaker
Right.
00:16:13
Speaker
So at first they were like looking at, so like when I was reading like the commentary on Reddit and then some of the stuff that was put on the Instagram regarding Raven, it was like, oh, I didn't like Raven at first.
00:16:22
Speaker
I'm like, what did she do to like make people not like her?
00:16:24
Speaker
Like she was just kind of quiet.
00:16:26
Speaker
But I feel like people just always like react really poorly to the more like reserved women.
00:16:33
Speaker
Especially if they're pretty, but in general, I've just noticed that's kind of like an insidious form of sexism.
00:16:38
Speaker
I keep seeing it repeated in a lot of the dating shows where like the quiet girl gets like attacked immediately, like the more reserved one.
00:16:44
Speaker
Cause like for reasons I don't quite understand or like maybe people think it's cause she's judgmental or something like that.
00:16:49
Speaker
But I do admire that she set her boundary and she stuck to her boundary, despite the fact that everybody else was fucking.
00:16:55
Speaker
And it seems like from, you know, the conversation she had with the other women in the pods, like she admitted like she'd never had a vibrator or used a vibrator that maybe she's not like a sexually forward person, which I think confuses people because she's like very beautiful.
00:17:08
Speaker
So then people like assume like, oh, she must be some kind of sex pod or something.
00:17:12
Speaker
But it doesn't seem that she's actually that way.
00:17:14
Speaker
It seems like she's pretty, but like she's very actually sexually conservative.
00:17:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:19
Speaker
Or reserved.
00:17:19
Speaker
Maybe not conservative.
00:17:20
Speaker
Maybe she just doesn't want to.
00:17:22
Speaker
I mean, she doesn't use a vibrator.
00:17:23
Speaker
That feels conservative to me.
00:17:26
Speaker
Uh... I don't know.
00:17:27
Speaker
Yeah, but maybe it's more because, I don't know, because I've got friends who haven't used Vibrate either.
00:17:31
Speaker
Maybe they just haven't felt the need to use one.
00:17:34
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:17:36
Speaker
It's not necessarily because they think, oh, Vibrate is a bad or evil.
00:17:39
Speaker
They just might just not have thought to use one.
00:17:41
Speaker
Oh, OK.
00:17:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:42
Speaker
And I think she's well matched with SK in that regard because he seems to want to take it slow and, you know, get to know her as well.
00:17:49
Speaker
So I think in that regard, at least they seem to be really, really well matched.
00:17:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:53
Speaker
The thing about it is like, here's what I can't tell.
00:17:55
Speaker
I can't tell if she's actually attracted to him or not, or if it's just her more sexually conservative ways.
00:18:01
Speaker
Right.
00:18:01
Speaker
So her friends come and her friends made the comment, like they were expecting Eskay to be a lot taller and more athletic, which gives a clue into the type of guy she normally goes for.
00:18:09
Speaker
which is basically Baptiste, basically.
00:18:11
Speaker
I also found it weird that maybe I skipped past this because I was in between doing work, but did he meet her family as well?
00:18:19
Speaker
No.
00:18:19
Speaker
Okay, so she made a comment that her family wouldn't be on the show and it was implied that they didn't approve and also that she might be slightly embarrassed of them because she made the comment they're from the, quote, dirty, dirty South and have certain types of values associated with that.
00:18:33
Speaker
So I'm guessing they're like card-carrying maggot, possibly would be kind of racist against...
00:18:38
Speaker
Is she fully, she doesn't look to me like she's fully white.
00:18:40
Speaker
I think she said she's biracial.
00:18:42
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:18:43
Speaker
Okay.
00:18:43
Speaker
Oh, that makes sense.
00:18:44
Speaker
Cause I was just a bit confused.
00:18:45
Speaker
I saw her friends seemed really cool.
00:18:47
Speaker
I liked them, but I just wondering like, where's her family?
00:18:49
Speaker
But yeah, that makes sense.
00:18:50
Speaker
I must've missed that bit.
00:18:51
Speaker
So like Cole, it seems like the values that their family have are not values that they share.
00:18:57
Speaker
So they're embarrassed to bring their family in front of the camera because it would not reflect on who they're trying to be.
00:19:03
Speaker
I did really like the fact that she got stuck into like the Nigerian food because I know like this is just a side note, but especially people in the West, there was a TikTok going around about the pound of jam and the egusi challenge, which is like a staple meal in Nigeria.
00:19:21
Speaker
Really, really nice meal.
00:19:22
Speaker
That will be like my death row meal.
00:19:23
Speaker
It will be like my mum's pound of jam and egusi.
00:19:26
Speaker
That will be my death row meal.
00:19:28
Speaker
But they were all eating it and just acting like quite disgusted.
00:19:31
Speaker
That's actually like high-key racism.
00:19:32
Speaker
Like they were talking about it like it's dog food.
00:19:34
Speaker
And it's like, okay, it's fair enough.
00:19:36
Speaker
You don't like it.
00:19:36
Speaker
But I wouldn't record myself eating, I don't know, the national dish of Germany and then spitting out and acting disgusted.
00:19:42
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:19:43
Speaker
I think that's a pretty shitty thing to do.
00:19:44
Speaker
This was a thing on TikTok.
00:19:46
Speaker
It was like the pound of jam and a goosey challenge.
00:19:48
Speaker
And it was going around and it was basically just like white teenagers just eating it and then just pretending to be sick or just saying, ugh, disgusting, whatever.
00:19:56
Speaker
What's in it?
00:19:57
Speaker
A goosey.
00:19:58
Speaker
It's like assorted meat.
00:20:00
Speaker
There's loads and loads of spices.
00:20:02
Speaker
I'll put up a picture, but I can't really, I don't actually make it.
00:20:05
Speaker
My mum does.
00:20:06
Speaker
I don't know what's in it, but it's really nice.
00:20:07
Speaker
Really, really nice.
00:20:08
Speaker
10 out of 10 recommend.
00:20:09
Speaker
And there's lots of palm oil in it as well.
00:20:11
Speaker
So it's a sort of food, like don't wear white clothes with it because it's not coming out if you spill.
00:20:16
Speaker
And so in the episode, they made amela, which is another form of, I guess, like
00:20:21
Speaker
pounded substance and then they also made a foru roll which is spinach as well and I really like that she like gave it a go and she seemed to really like it so I was like pretty proud of that as well and I was like yeah yeah rep the Nigerian food
00:20:37
Speaker
Repping Nigerian food.
00:20:39
Speaker
Although I think someone should have told her like you can eat it with a fork because it's normally eaten with the hands.
00:20:44
Speaker
Like and now me and my parents even, they don't eat it with their hands because it's very, very messy.
00:20:49
Speaker
So it was a bit awkward when she was like, can I use a fork?
00:20:51
Speaker
And I was like, yes, use a fork.
00:20:52
Speaker
Like a lot of Nigerians use forks anyway, because it's just cleaner and you don't get like the stew in your nails and shit.
00:20:58
Speaker
But you can eat it with your hands as well.
00:21:00
Speaker
It's commonly done.
00:21:01
Speaker
But yeah.
00:21:01
Speaker
That was quite nice that she wasn't intimidated by the Nigerian culture because the Nigerian culture can be very, very overwhelming.
00:21:08
Speaker
And I wonder if they end up getting married, if she's going to have the traditional wedding as well, because that's another thing that is, it's a very, very Nigerian thing.
00:21:16
Speaker
I believe SK might be Yoruba or Ibo.
00:21:19
Speaker
He said Yoruba because he said he spoke speaks.
00:21:22
Speaker
Yeah, Yoruba.
00:21:23
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm Yoruba as well.
00:21:24
Speaker
And so we have a traditional wedding.
00:21:25
Speaker
So this goes usually before the legal wedding, like the white wedding.
00:21:30
Speaker
And that can be really difficult for people who aren't from the Nigerian culture.
00:21:33
Speaker
So I remember when my sister got married, her husband is Ghanaian and he didn't understand it because it's basically a second wedding.
00:21:41
Speaker
So it's like double the money.
00:21:42
Speaker
You're dressed in traditional outfits.
00:21:44
Speaker
And it's not really like a ceremony ceremony, but it's more just like a gigantic like comedy roast of each other's family with a bit of
00:21:52
Speaker
That's literally what it is with a bit of ceremony behind it.
00:21:55
Speaker
And it can be very, very overwhelming if you're not from the Yoruba culture because Yoruba people at parties, they can be quite full on.
00:22:03
Speaker
So I wonder how they'll navigate that if it gets to it.
00:22:06
Speaker
I'll be interested to see that.
00:22:07
Speaker
They did in the previews for the final episodes talk, or there was some discussion about whether or not she was going to wear a Nigerian wedding dress and she said no.
00:22:15
Speaker
So...
00:22:16
Speaker
Yeah, again, that's because you can't, that's a whole palaver in itself, because you can't actually buy a Nigerian wedding dress.
00:22:23
Speaker
You have to buy the material and then get it sewn.
00:22:26
Speaker
And if your tailor is shit, you're just going to have a bad time, basically.
00:22:32
Speaker
so but yeah it'll be interesting to see like how that goes because i would say like nigerian like culture to an outsider even if you're an african from a different country say ghana or anywhere else it's still very overwhelming and sometimes it just doesn't make sense and she's obviously american i know she's had two friends uh girlfriends who were nigerian but it's very different when you're marrying into that culture as well were her friends nigerian or no she just said she had friends
00:22:58
Speaker
Her girlfriend, she said she had two of her best friends growing up, were Nigerian.
00:23:02
Speaker
So moving on with that conversation, when her friend's basically calling out the fact that if they were to get married, then first of all, they would have to travel back and forth because SK was going to graduate school in California, despite them living in Texas.
00:23:16
Speaker
And then the other thing which I really...
00:23:18
Speaker
thought Raven was spot on about was like, she was very aware of the financial impact of that.
00:23:23
Speaker
She was like, I don't want to be suddenly if we get married, have two people on one income because you're going to be in school.
00:23:27
Speaker
And she's like, I have a certain lifestyle that I like to live.
00:23:30
Speaker
And that's the lifestyle I'm going to live period.
00:23:32
Speaker
So she came up, she like point blank said that if we're going to split and be living in different states while we're married, then like you have to also be contributing to the household bills.
00:23:43
Speaker
For like the two places that we're living.
00:23:46
Speaker
Fair play.
00:23:46
Speaker
And I'm also guessing that I don't know how much, you know, Pilates instructors make, but it might be enough for one person to have a great salary.
00:23:55
Speaker
Probably not enough for two people.
00:23:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:58
Speaker
Because she's freelance as well.
00:23:59
Speaker
And I know a couple of yoga teachers and Pilates teachers who freelance and it's really quite stressful.
00:24:04
Speaker
I think one of them said it as well.
00:24:05
Speaker
It's like she also takes private classes and then on top of that having to travel.
00:24:09
Speaker
It's going to be a lot.
00:24:10
Speaker
Yeah, so she was saying she can't necessarily just rebuild her entire client base in California.
00:24:16
Speaker
No, she can't.
00:24:17
Speaker
And it's so competitive out there, especially the PT, yoga, Pilates business.
00:24:22
Speaker
So, so competitive, especially in California somewhere, you know.
00:24:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:27
Speaker
And she didn't seem interested in moving.
00:24:28
Speaker
So I like that she asserted her boundaries about like how she was going to live.
00:24:32
Speaker
Once again, completely different reaction to that from the Reddit crowd and from the like who basically treated her like a gold digger.
00:24:39
Speaker
It's good that we have like our own love is blind conversations on FDS because like how I perceive that is completely different.
00:24:44
Speaker
And I think we would perceive that as completely different than like your average Redditor or reality TV show watcher because I feel like they like to attack the women who once again are reserved or have standards that aren't like they feel are personally too high.
00:24:57
Speaker
I don't think that's unrealistic for her, especially if she says that like before she was dating guys that were mostly like they contributed to her lifestyle somehow.
00:25:05
Speaker
Right.
00:25:05
Speaker
Like that does not seem unrealistic for her at all.
00:25:08
Speaker
And also I find it a bit weird actually with SK, why he would go on a show where you're getting married and then up six and do something like a full time further degree.
00:25:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:19
Speaker
I just find the logic behind that really, really weird because it's like, that is huge.
00:25:23
Speaker
That's a massive, massive life change.
00:25:25
Speaker
And it's a lot to ask of somebody.
00:25:26
Speaker
I think even it can knowledge that, but it's a lot to ask of somebody who you just got married to, to basically say, I just think the logic behind that is a bit weird.
00:25:34
Speaker
Like, wouldn't you get your degrees first and then like look to settle down, like literally settle down?
00:25:40
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I know that there's a lot of time between when they apply for the show when the show is filmed.
00:25:45
Speaker
So it could be like maybe he applied to grad school and then something in between time.
00:25:50
Speaker
He didn't really know this would happen.
00:25:51
Speaker
But at the same time, yeah, I think I kind of agree with her friends, even though it's a little bit harsh that especially if like Raven's not the type to be.
00:25:57
Speaker
I mean, she's going to be alone, right?
00:25:59
Speaker
In Texas all the time and then expecting to have her husband be living in California like that actually does seem wholly unrealistic.
00:26:06
Speaker
And it's like, what does she get out of that?
00:26:07
Speaker
Right.
00:26:08
Speaker
Like, what is she going to be getting out of that except for holding herself hostage, you know, trying to find love or whatever she wants to do for two years while he moves to another state and pursues his goals?
00:26:19
Speaker
Like, that doesn't help her push along her professional goals either, which is what I think her friends are getting at.
00:26:24
Speaker
Like, she's ambitious by herself, right?
00:26:26
Speaker
And so the idea that she can't, like, she's got to put all on hold because, you know, her husband is not going to be there to support her through that.
00:26:34
Speaker
It's like, well, she might as well just move mad by herself, right?
00:26:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:37
Speaker
So I don't see them getting married.
00:26:38
Speaker
Really?
00:26:39
Speaker
I sort of feel like, touching on what Rose
Raven and Bartise's Superficial Dynamics
00:26:42
Speaker
said, I sort of feel like out of all the girls on this series, I think they tried to make Raven out to be the villain out of all of them in terms of how it was edited.
00:26:52
Speaker
So, for example, do you know when Bartise was pouring his heart out and she was just doing a workout?
00:26:59
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:26:59
Speaker
Which is hilarious by the way, because I think she saw through Bartise's bullshit, right?
00:27:03
Speaker
Before everybody else did.
00:27:04
Speaker
That's what I'm saying.
00:27:06
Speaker
I do think they are trying to make her out to be the villain.
00:27:09
Speaker
Like she's very conventionally attractive.
00:27:12
Speaker
She has a bit of an unconventional background.
00:27:14
Speaker
She's a Pilates instructor, clearly very into her looks and her fitness, which is great.
00:27:19
Speaker
And I just think off the back of that, and also she, also she knows what she wants out of a relationship.
00:27:24
Speaker
She's clearly dated wealthy men and, you know, she's not willing to lower her standard of living for a guy.
00:27:30
Speaker
They want to punish her for it.
00:27:32
Speaker
I think the way it was edited, they made her out to be like the villain of the series.
00:27:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:36
Speaker
So the jumping jacks thing was hilarious because it definitely seemed like Bartice was forcing that emotional connection a little bit.
00:27:42
Speaker
And so I think she picked up on that, but like Bartice is a little bit full of shit.
00:27:48
Speaker
I think my respect for her just shot up after the later conversation with her in the pool because she saw straight through his bullshit.
00:27:54
Speaker
Like she knew that he was just all about her looks and not really about her as a person.
00:27:59
Speaker
And she just basically didn't even take in any of his compliments because he was laying it on really thick with her.
00:28:05
Speaker
And I think that actually we'll come into Bartista in a bit, but yeah, that's what I want to say about Raven.
00:28:09
Speaker
He's like, we're both the type that'll turn heads when you look in the room, when you walk in the room.
00:28:14
Speaker
Yeah, he was just laying on thick, like super thick with her and she just wasn't having any of it.
00:28:19
Speaker
And I respect that, to be honest.
00:28:21
Speaker
So, which brings us to the next dynamic, which is between Bartice and Nancy, but really the Bartice, Raven, Nancy sort of love triangle.
00:28:32
Speaker
It's not really a love triangle because Raven is clearly not interested, but... Did you say lust triangle on behalf of Bartice?
00:28:39
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:28:39
Speaker
So let's start with Bartice.
00:28:41
Speaker
So I have a confession to make.
00:28:43
Speaker
So if you want to know the type of guys that I date, Bartice.
00:28:47
Speaker
I thought you were going to say you dated Barty so I was like don't say it don't say it don't say it I haven't dated him specifically but I've dated him his character it's like sometimes tough to watch these shows when you start to see familiar patterns in your own background but like when I think about the guys I've dated in the past and I'm like oh I see why everybody dislikes him now
00:29:11
Speaker
He started off all right.
00:29:12
Speaker
Young, seemed quite ambitious.
00:29:15
Speaker
I think my overall impression of him is that he's an opportunist.
00:29:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:19
Speaker
Bartiz is like, he's just a nice guy manipulator, right?
00:29:23
Speaker
I mean, he's just got that whole like a spit shine that a lot of consultants have, you know, like, or he just has this attitude, like, okay, I'm going to get what I want by like, kind of emotionally bombarding people and saying all the right things that people want to hear.
00:29:36
Speaker
And then like forcing an emotional connection.
00:29:39
Speaker
And then, you know, when something turns him off, or he doesn't want to deal with something, he just basically does the silent treatment,
00:29:44
Speaker
which is, I think what happened with Nancy that at some point he wasn't actually interested in Nancy anymore.
00:29:48
Speaker
And rather than just like be honest after a while, or like, he'll just kind of start to like gaslight her about, you know, what his issue is with her.
00:29:56
Speaker
Yeah, and he even said himself, and this should have been a big red, we'll get on to Nancy in a bit, but he even said, like, he's been in relationships where he's supposedly loved a woman, but then it always fizzles out on his end.
00:30:09
Speaker
And to me, that's like a glaring red flag.
00:30:12
Speaker
And this is after a couple of months as well, not even years.
00:30:15
Speaker
And it's just like, hmm...
00:30:17
Speaker
Yeah, I think he doesn't know what he wants, right?
00:30:18
Speaker
I think he's just trying to connect with a bunch of different people and then like not having a clue.
00:30:23
Speaker
He strikes me as somebody who goes for somebody's looks in the way he was going or trying to go for Raven and then realizes that there isn't anything he actually likes about the person.
00:30:35
Speaker
Oh yeah, for sure.
00:30:36
Speaker
Like he's got an image of what he wants a woman to look like.
00:30:39
Speaker
And so that's what he wants.
00:30:41
Speaker
So guys like that, a lot of times they'll do is they'll, so this is like, okay, this is all from my experience.
00:30:46
Speaker
Let me put it this way.
00:30:47
Speaker
They'll find women they're attracted to, and then they'll just try to like bully and mold her and manipulate her into the woman they actually want.
00:30:53
Speaker
Right.
00:30:53
Speaker
And rather than accepting who she is.
00:30:55
Speaker
Or finding the woman that they want because they usually can't get the woman that they want.
00:30:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:59
Speaker
Exactly.
00:31:00
Speaker
So having been on the other side of it, where I've dated a guy who I feel like maybe went after me for very superficial reasons.
00:31:08
Speaker
And then, yeah, they basically feel like I can just kind of manipulate her to be whatever I want her to be.
00:31:13
Speaker
Like, instead of like connecting with you as a person, they want the look, right?
00:31:17
Speaker
They want to present a certain image about themselves.
00:31:20
Speaker
But Nancy, oh gosh, I feel really bad for her.
00:31:25
Speaker
She's clearly very successful and smart and intelligent in her own right.
00:31:30
Speaker
But I feel like she's trying to prove something by staying with Baptiste, even though she knows he's not attracted to her.
00:31:38
Speaker
Yeah, that was so weird.
00:31:39
Speaker
I mean, the thing is, is like, I think she's a bit confused about it because at first he was all about it and they had sex the first night.
00:31:45
Speaker
So side note, I feel like all of the, man, you can see like just a massive difference in most of the couples that had sex the first night.
00:31:53
Speaker
And I feel like that was a mistake and that most of the women should have waited a night or two.
00:31:57
Speaker
right?
00:31:57
Speaker
Like to actually get to know that person, because I feel like some of the like the schism happened like immediately after they started having sex because everyone had post-nut clarity.
00:32:07
Speaker
I think Colleen and Zena being like the biggest examples of that.
00:32:10
Speaker
But that's why I still think post-nut clarity for women is a thing too.
00:32:14
Speaker
So I definitely feel like the first night they're all in the tub.
00:32:17
Speaker
They're all flirting.
00:32:17
Speaker
He's all over her.
00:32:19
Speaker
So she probably thinks like, okay, he's into me.
00:32:21
Speaker
He's sexually into it.
00:32:22
Speaker
And once again, like, I don't think he's not attracted to her.
00:32:26
Speaker
I don't think he has a freaking clue what he wants other than like shallow.
00:32:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:30
Speaker
I think physically though, he's not into her, especially with the way he was all over the way we're speaking about Raven physically.
00:32:37
Speaker
He never spoke about Nancy in a 10th or a third of the same way.
00:32:43
Speaker
So my experience with guys like that is they'll fuck a lot of different women with a lot of different body types.
00:32:48
Speaker
I don't think it's like, but he likes how striking Raven is to people, right?
00:32:52
Speaker
That's why he made the comment like, oh, I feel like we're both the type of people that people pay attention to and they walk through, walk into a room.
00:32:59
Speaker
Right.
00:32:59
Speaker
He wants to feel seen like that.
00:33:01
Speaker
Right.
00:33:01
Speaker
Like that's the image he wants.
00:33:02
Speaker
But I still think he wants to fuck Nancy.
00:33:04
Speaker
Like I think he was sexually attracted to her at one point.
00:33:06
Speaker
And then probably like I said, he just had posts that clarity.
00:33:09
Speaker
It just sort of fizzled out because there's nothing there keeping him there.
00:33:12
Speaker
Like they don't have like that much of an emotional connection.
00:33:15
Speaker
But the post not clarity has temporarily gone away when he found out how much money and how successful her businesses are.
00:33:22
Speaker
You could literally see him.
00:33:24
Speaker
It was almost like he'd had like a road to Damascus moment and the light hit his eyes when she found out that she's got properties.
00:33:30
Speaker
And she was saying, you know, my money is our money.
00:33:34
Speaker
And he just he was all about that.
00:33:36
Speaker
And I thought that was a mistake on Nancy's part.
00:33:38
Speaker
I get they're getting married, but to present it as in like, you know, we're a team as opposed to saying almost like you need to, I'm hoping that you can join me at that level.
00:33:50
Speaker
Do you see what I mean?
00:33:50
Speaker
I think that was a mistake on her part.
00:33:52
Speaker
Well, okay.
00:33:52
Speaker
So Nancy has a lot of her property because of her ex.
00:33:55
Speaker
So she co-owns a lot of this stuff and it looks like her name's on stuff she's not actually managing anymore, which massive, massive mistake.
00:34:02
Speaker
So, okay.
00:34:02
Speaker
So some of the chatter about that, and I actually looked to see if other people were noticing some of the discount continuity between...
00:34:09
Speaker
like the number she was claiming and then what was actually realistic for the area that she owned properties in.
00:34:13
Speaker
And so I think that she's exaggerating a lot of that, first of all, but then too, like she doesn't have that much control over all those assets anyways, because they are joint property with her ex who she's not married to.
00:34:23
Speaker
So like her ex-boyfriend apparently is like a realtor as well.
00:34:26
Speaker
some kind of realtor.
00:34:27
Speaker
So it sounds like she put in her money, she got into investing real estate with him, and then they broke up.
00:34:32
Speaker
And now she's just underwater with him on some of these properties.
00:34:35
Speaker
Because I'm like, I think it's unrealistic that she's bringing in $6,000 to $9,000 a month for like, what's essentially an Airbnb in Dallas, and like a not so nice area of Dallas.
00:34:45
Speaker
So I think once again, it's an image more so than reality.
00:34:50
Speaker
Anyways, Nancy's family seem to have clocked
00:34:53
Speaker
Bartice on that because one of the things his mom said was like, I think you're full.
00:34:57
Speaker
I think she directly said, I think you're full of shit.
00:34:59
Speaker
Or like, I think you're lying to me.
00:35:01
Speaker
I think she said, I know when someone's lying to me.
00:35:03
Speaker
I'm not sure if she directs it specifically at him, but she basically gave him a warning.
00:35:07
Speaker
Like, I know when someone's lying to me, I deal with criminals and you basically don't want to make me angry, basically, because she's a bail bondsman.
00:35:14
Speaker
So she gave like a thinly veiled threat to him because also she was asking him things like, do you have any debt and stuff like that?
00:35:21
Speaker
And it was weird because Barty said he couldn't even write a check for $3,000, which I'm not sure what his profession is.
00:35:29
Speaker
He might just have student debt because he's only 25.
00:35:31
Speaker
So he's only been graduated like three years.
00:35:34
Speaker
Yeah, he graduated, I think, in 2018.
00:35:36
Speaker
So he was talking about student debt, his car loan.
00:35:38
Speaker
And obviously Nancy doesn't have any debt as well.
00:35:40
Speaker
So I'm probably rightfully so.
00:35:42
Speaker
They're probably quite suspicious of the men she brings home just to make sure that they're not gold diggers or whatever, you know.
00:35:49
Speaker
Okay, here's what Nancy's mom said verbatim.
00:35:51
Speaker
So I've got my own business as a bail bond.
00:35:53
Speaker
I've been doing this for 15 years now.
00:35:54
Speaker
I learned how to read people.
00:35:56
Speaker
I'm watching you.
00:35:57
Speaker
I'm observing you because I can tell from your eyes if you're lying when you're talking and trying to pretend you're somebody else that you're not.
00:36:03
Speaker
So basically, then he's just looking at her.
00:36:05
Speaker
She's like, I don't want to scare you, but I'm that person.
00:36:08
Speaker
But you don't want to see me mad.
00:36:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:10
Speaker
So it's a thinly veiled threat, I think.
00:36:13
Speaker
I was talking about Nancy's family, but we can get to Barty's family.
00:36:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:16
Speaker
Remember her brothers were like calling or basically like, oh, well, we don't understand why you like her.
00:36:21
Speaker
Essentially, like they were trying to grill him.
00:36:23
Speaker
But like I said, when he tried to articulate why he likes Nancy, he doesn't have things that come off the top of his tongue, essentially.
00:36:29
Speaker
And I think Nancy's family was picking up on that.
00:36:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:33
Speaker
So moving on to Barty's family, Barty's family, as well as their conversation on abortion.
00:36:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:42
Speaker
I found it funny how like, like, Barty seems to be so anti-abortion and then was very quick to admit, oh, I've bought Plan B sometimes.
00:36:51
Speaker
I've bought Plan B. I'm like.
00:36:53
Speaker
But Plan B is not abortion.
00:36:54
Speaker
Let's be clear about that.
00:36:55
Speaker
I don't want to confuse those.
00:36:56
Speaker
It is an abortion, but I.
00:36:57
Speaker
I still think that it's like, I'm not convinced that someone like Bartice wouldn't push for an abortion if he felt was in his best interest to do so, is what I'm saying.
00:37:06
Speaker
And I just find guys who have that sort of stance really, really dodgy, especially when plan B doesn't affect their bodies.
00:37:12
Speaker
And he was like, oh, you know, sometimes when I'm just in parenthood, I've also bought plan B again.
00:37:16
Speaker
To me, it's like, it doesn't seem like you have any regard for the woman because plan B, it's really intense for the woman.
00:37:22
Speaker
It can completely mess up your cycle, like heavy bleeding.
00:37:25
Speaker
So I didn't like it when he said that, but then he was trying to be all high and mighty about abortion.
00:37:29
Speaker
I didn't like that.
00:37:30
Speaker
No, I agree.
00:37:31
Speaker
And yeah, once again, it's about him.
00:37:33
Speaker
So, and his image and everything.
00:37:35
Speaker
So it's going to be less about how things are practically happening.
00:37:39
Speaker
Again, he just seems like really young and immature, like he hasn't lived a whole lot of life.
00:37:42
Speaker
So like what Nancy gave was a very mature answer about abortion, because she understands the nuances of like actually having to raise a special needs child.
00:37:50
Speaker
So it looks like they disagreed mostly on whether or not to abort a child if they found out it was special needs.
00:37:56
Speaker
And I feel like it's really easy to feel like you're taking the moral high ground.
00:37:59
Speaker
Like, of course I would love it, but then he may not.
00:38:02
Speaker
Like the thing about that is like a lot of people feel like, oh, I'm going to be this way and I'm going to be that way.
00:38:06
Speaker
But a lot of men like that will be the first ones to cut and run when it's too hard.
00:38:10
Speaker
Right.
00:38:10
Speaker
I think Nancy's more realistic in that she's like, I've seen it destroy families.
00:38:14
Speaker
And Bartista's like, it won't destroy a family, but he doesn't know that.
00:38:17
Speaker
Like he's not even mature enough to have a functional relationship with this yet.
00:38:20
Speaker
So yeah.
00:38:21
Speaker
His answer to me just read really, really immature.
00:38:24
Speaker
And then like him being like, well, I don't think it's okay for women to have more than one abortion if they made a mistake or something.
00:38:31
Speaker
But I want to know if that was a value judgment rather than he thinks abortion should be illegal.
00:38:35
Speaker
I don't know.
00:38:35
Speaker
It was a weird conversation.
00:38:37
Speaker
And also, that's actually raised a really good point.
00:38:39
Speaker
It's like, he doesn't think abortion is wrong because he was willing to make an exception if she was raped or whatever.
00:38:46
Speaker
But like I had sex and I got pregnant as if the woman can get pregnant on her own, then he has an issue with that.
00:38:51
Speaker
And to me, that's just classic misogyny.
00:38:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:54
Speaker
It seemed like he was basically like, oh, you should have the kid anyways.
00:38:58
Speaker
If it was more than one time that you had a mistake, like it's your responsibility to raise the kid, which once again is like weird to kind of project what you feel someone else's choice should be.
00:39:06
Speaker
And like, I feel like that'd be the exact type of person who maybe shouldn't have a child if they don't want to.
00:39:10
Speaker
A person who's not like responsible enough consistently use birth control.
00:39:14
Speaker
You know, that's the thing is like, I just found his stance on that quite misogynistic in the sense that it was very much like basically using, you know, if a woman has sex and she gets pregnant or she's just have it anyway.
00:39:28
Speaker
It's almost like it's like a punishment for women, you know, being sexually active and also forgetting the fact that, you know, she didn't get pregnant by herself, you know.
00:39:36
Speaker
Yeah, and his sister's response to it was weird.
00:39:38
Speaker
I didn't understand why she was crying.
00:39:40
Speaker
She just started crying, yeah.
00:39:42
Speaker
I wonder if they cut something out.
00:39:44
Speaker
Yeah, dodgy editing, but she just started crying and saying she felt really strongly about it and it was just really bizarre.
00:39:51
Speaker
Maybe she has like a special needs child and maybe she's struggled with some kind of disability.
00:39:55
Speaker
Because that's the only thing I can think of is like maybe someone in their family has a disability and that's why he feels very strongly.
00:40:02
Speaker
Possibly, possibly.
00:40:03
Speaker
That you shouldn't abort a child for having a disability.
00:40:06
Speaker
Like that's the only way everyone's reaction would make sense and like his complete upset about it.
00:40:11
Speaker
Right.
00:40:12
Speaker
I actually am in a situation where ultimately it's always the woman's choice, but I can see where someone who maybe has someone in their family who's disabled would hear someone who said that and feel a little bit like triggered.
00:40:23
Speaker
The only reason I'm even giving that the benefit of the doubt is because of the way that Bartisa's sister acted.
00:40:28
Speaker
Like she seemed really, really upset.
00:40:29
Speaker
which makes me feel like maybe she has personal experience, but someone in that case.
00:40:35
Speaker
I mean, that's one of those like hard choices that I feel like is Nancy's to make, right?
00:40:38
Speaker
It's whoever's the pregnant, which is the woman, whoever gets pregnant gets to decide that for herself.
00:40:43
Speaker
It's not anybody else's decision.
00:40:45
Speaker
So that's her prerogative.
00:40:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:47
Speaker
What did you think of Andrew, the pussy scavenger?
00:40:52
Speaker
Andrew made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
00:40:56
Speaker
I am not kidding.
00:40:58
Speaker
From the moment he walked onto camera to the moment, like the last one I saw him, something about him like creeped me out.
00:41:07
Speaker
They genuinely gave me like Elliot Rogers, like Patrick Bateman's like sociopath vibes.
00:41:14
Speaker
And then when the scene that they showed of him like putting eye drops in his eyes to make it look like he was crying, I was like, oh my fucking God.
00:41:22
Speaker
I didn't get that.
00:41:24
Speaker
No, he's like, everything about him is so contrived to present a certain image.
00:41:29
Speaker
I'm like, this guy's a psychopath.
00:41:30
Speaker
Right.
00:41:31
Speaker
And then like the eyedrop thing only confirmed it.
00:41:33
Speaker
Like I thought he was creepy from the moment he came on camera.
00:41:36
Speaker
And then the eyedrop thing kind of double, double down.
00:41:38
Speaker
I'm like, oh no, this is a person who has been meticulously curating an image a certain way because they are fucked up inside.
00:41:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:46
Speaker
That's the person who, like, he scares me, like quite literally scares me.
00:41:51
Speaker
That's the first person in a reality show where I'm like, I would not be surprised if like 10 years down the line, it turns out like he murdered somebody.
00:41:58
Speaker
Yeah, him and Matt.
00:41:59
Speaker
Yeah, I can see them both doing that to be fair.
00:42:03
Speaker
fucking crazy andrew's the creepiest like so far the creepiest person i've seen on any of these reality shows and i'm not sure why he was randomly at that part i guess it was maybe a cast reunion yeah cast reunion party but it was just his when nancy was like no i don't regret not choosing you it was just like game over
00:42:24
Speaker
Yeah, no, she's right.
00:42:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:25
Speaker
Like, but again, I'm glad that she said that in front of the cameras and not someplace by themselves, because I feel like he would do something psychotic.
00:42:32
Speaker
Right.
00:42:34
Speaker
Man, that guy, I've never been so creeped out by an individual person as I did watching that show.
00:42:40
Speaker
And then the eye drops thing, I was like, oh, this dude's crazy, crazy.
00:42:43
Speaker
He's crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.
00:42:47
Speaker
But I don't think Nancy and Baptiste, if they do say yes, they'll be divorced within the year.
00:42:54
Speaker
I don't think they should say yes.
00:42:56
Speaker
And like, obviously, I think the beginning of the end is when he saw Raven.
00:42:59
Speaker
There was a conflicting discussion about like whether or not he should have been honest about how he felt when he met Raven versus Nancy.
00:43:06
Speaker
So this is like some people feel like him saying that was cruel.
00:43:09
Speaker
But then on the other hand, I feel like it gives Nancy clarity.
00:43:12
Speaker
So I feel like in some respects, you should encourage growth to tell on themselves.
00:43:16
Speaker
So I think it's good.
00:43:17
Speaker
Yeah, I agree.
00:43:18
Speaker
I agree.
00:43:19
Speaker
She just kind of didn't accept it right away because she's like, well, I love him so much.
00:43:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:25
Speaker
I just think he doesn't know what he wants other than like what he feels like would make him look good.
00:43:29
Speaker
And so obviously like being with Raven, he feels would make him look better than being with Nancy, you know, even with Nancy's properties, et cetera, et cetera.
00:43:36
Speaker
But so now he just like has kind of a dismissive attitude towards Nancy.
00:43:40
Speaker
And because once that stops being there or he doesn't feel like his image is being boosted, then he loses interest because there's nothing they're sustaining.
00:43:48
Speaker
There's nothing they're sustaining his like emotional connection with that person.
00:43:51
Speaker
I don't think he's like emotionally connecting with any of these people.
00:43:54
Speaker
So trust me, I've dated, I've dated this guy in multiple forms.
00:44:01
Speaker
So, you know, like you watching other people get tortured, like you were tortured before.
00:44:10
Speaker
Like, ah, fuck me.
00:44:12
Speaker
This is why it was never going to work.
00:44:14
Speaker
So I also thought it was funny the way that he confronted Nancy and Andrew.
00:44:19
Speaker
To me, that was so fake.
00:44:21
Speaker
I feel like he's trying to set it up so that he can like pawn Nancy off on Andrew so he doesn't feel like a bad guy when he breaks it off with Nancy because he doesn't want Nancy anymore.
00:44:28
Speaker
But he's like, it's coming across like people pleasing tendencies.
00:44:31
Speaker
Like he doesn't want to look like the bad guy.
00:44:33
Speaker
So he's going to keep like playing the role.
Matt and Colleen's Toxic Relationship
00:44:35
Speaker
Right.
00:44:35
Speaker
So yeah, he's a nut.
00:44:38
Speaker
Massively immature.
00:44:39
Speaker
So who is next on our docket?
00:44:41
Speaker
So there's like the Matt Bolton, Colleen, Zanab and Cole quadruplet.
00:44:48
Speaker
Because, okay, so they're definitely hands down the most like toxic people on the show, I think, actually.
00:44:55
Speaker
I know like the fandom like hates Bartiz the most.
00:44:57
Speaker
So short story would happen to Matt, his high school sweetheart that he moved in and married right after his 18th birthday eventually cheated on him and like was pregnant by another man and left him.
00:45:08
Speaker
So he's clearly like very damaged by that and hair trigger temper at everything.
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah, his temper scares me, really scares me.
00:45:16
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:45:17
Speaker
He was like, I'm not going to get played.
00:45:18
Speaker
So long story short.
00:45:19
Speaker
So yeah, let's get to the point.
00:45:23
Speaker
So long story short.
00:45:25
Speaker
So Matt matched with Colleen.
00:45:28
Speaker
So Colleen was rejected by both Brennan and then who else before she was married, proposed to by Matt.
00:45:34
Speaker
But she was like crying over both of those guys.
00:45:37
Speaker
Was it Cole?
00:45:37
Speaker
I think it was Cole.
00:45:39
Speaker
It might have been Cole.
00:45:39
Speaker
Yeah, I think she was actually rejected by two other guys in their pod.
00:45:43
Speaker
And like she was crying and crying like in the room, like in the room with the other ladies.
00:45:48
Speaker
And to me, like she just seems like she has really, really poor self-esteem and like bad emotional boundaries with people.
00:45:54
Speaker
And she kept bleeding with the fact that she's a ballerina.
00:45:56
Speaker
And like she just seems like a massive, massive pick me.
00:45:58
Speaker
Yeah, she can like do the splits in sex and stuff.
00:46:01
Speaker
She was quite sexually forward.
00:46:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:03
Speaker
She's trying too hard.
00:46:04
Speaker
And now you put someone like that who is desperate for someone's approval and then has poor boundaries.
00:46:10
Speaker
And then you put someone like Matt who is like hypersensitive and completely explosive at the idea that a woman might cheat on him or not have good boundaries.
00:46:18
Speaker
And he takes Colleen's evidence.
00:46:20
Speaker
He looks at Colleen's people-pleasing ways as evidence that she's going to cheat on him, right?
00:46:25
Speaker
And so like he's explosively reacting to her.
00:46:28
Speaker
You can see after they had that first fight, like you could see like she was almost shrinking into herself, like an abusive
00:46:33
Speaker
person i think he is emotionally abusive 100 like i think he is he's controlling right he's controlling he's like has a crazy explosive temper and someone like colleen who doesn't have like good boundaries with people is clearly like getting sucked into his abusive shit yeah is basically what my point was
00:46:53
Speaker
And this is part of the reason why I think it's an orange flag when a guy talks very early on about how he's been done over by women.
00:47:01
Speaker
Because I feel like they're setting you up, you know, so that they can retaliate against you and then use the fact that I've been played before like Matt does as almost an excuse.
00:47:12
Speaker
So you don't recognise that what he's doing is abusive because Colleen isn't his ex.
00:47:17
Speaker
And I believe that he set up that story so then when he feels in his insecurities, he can lash out at her and then say, it's because I was cheated on before.
00:47:26
Speaker
I don't want to get played this time.
00:47:27
Speaker
It's just classic.
00:47:28
Speaker
I swear Lindy Bancroft talks about men like him in his book, like just classic abuser.
00:47:33
Speaker
Yeah, for sure.
00:47:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:35
Speaker
So he's an abusive piece of shit.
00:47:36
Speaker
It just made me really cold.
00:47:37
Speaker
So I remember like my ex used to be like, you remember when they had the fight and she walks off crying and he just sits there carrying on eating.
00:47:43
Speaker
And I just find like that just to me, that wasn't triggering, but it just reminded me of the times when like I would be crying my eyes out with a guy I dated and he just wouldn't give a shit.
00:47:53
Speaker
And he just kept doing whatever he was doing.
00:47:55
Speaker
And I just feel like that is the sign of somebody who doesn't care about you.
00:47:59
Speaker
Because if you're crying, even if they're annoyed or angry at you, they would at least try to, you know, see what's going on, you know, see, you know, like, how can we resolve this?
00:48:07
Speaker
They wouldn't just, you know, leave you to cry.
00:48:09
Speaker
And he just looks like, so I could see the rage as well within him.
00:48:13
Speaker
And it just terrified me, to be honest.
00:48:15
Speaker
Yeah, that was like a completely inappropriate, out of line, absolute insane way to act towards someone, even if you do think that their flirting was inappropriate.
00:48:24
Speaker
Like that's abuse, right?
00:48:25
Speaker
Like he's in that place where he feels like he has such a righteous anger, right?
00:48:28
Speaker
That he doesn't care what's going on with her because he feels like, well, it's good that you feel bad because he wants to punish her for being, I guess, in his mind, like being too flirty with Matt.
00:48:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:39
Speaker
And then the second time where I guess he went back to the hotel and then Colleen, I guess, went out to the club without telling him.
00:48:46
Speaker
And so he flips out then too.
00:48:48
Speaker
He was like, I don't know.
00:48:48
Speaker
I'm going to get played.
00:48:49
Speaker
I'm not trying to get played.
00:48:51
Speaker
You know, I ain't getting played.
00:48:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:54
Speaker
Like he needs like deep, serious, intense therapy because he's clearly like, I don't know how long ago this happened to him, but he's very clearly not over it.
00:49:02
Speaker
And his coping mechanisms of control and abuse are abusive.
00:49:06
Speaker
So that's clearly unacceptable.
00:49:09
Speaker
So it's kind of.
00:49:10
Speaker
I hope she gets out to be honest, because, yeah, he legit terrifies me.
00:49:14
Speaker
She should say no.
00:49:15
Speaker
He's crazy.
00:49:16
Speaker
I mean, because he's barely holding back and he's on camera, right?
00:49:19
Speaker
So I just can't imagine how it would look off camera.
00:49:23
Speaker
So I assume this is on their best behavior because they're being filmed.
00:49:27
Speaker
So who knows?
00:49:29
Speaker
knows what it's like, what he's like, you know, if they were a couple and this wasn't like, and you could see her whole continents just like shrink.
00:49:36
Speaker
But again, such a massive pick me that she just seems like she's going to like run after anybody who gives her that type of approval, including Cole, right?
00:49:42
Speaker
Who Cole was basically like, Oh, I find you attractive.
00:49:44
Speaker
You're the type of guy, girl I would sometimes go to, which I feel like for people who've only known each other for two, three weeks, like I know that sucks because they're engaged, but I also feel like
00:49:53
Speaker
It didn't seem like it was overly flirtatious on her part, like she was trying to get with Cole all of a sudden.
00:50:00
Speaker
No, I didn't get that either.
00:50:01
Speaker
I think it goes back to her people pleasing, like you said.
00:50:04
Speaker
She just wanted to appease him and even Cole said that to Matt.
00:50:07
Speaker
She was just trying to appease me.
00:50:08
Speaker
She wasn't trying to flirt with me.
00:50:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:11
Speaker
So you have someone like that.
00:50:13
Speaker
So Matt wanted was for her to draw a boundary like how Raven did, right?
00:50:17
Speaker
So how like Raven was basically like, that's cool, but this, this, this, and this.
00:50:21
Speaker
But like Colleen can't do that because Colleen is a people pleaser and Colleen has poor boundaries.
00:50:26
Speaker
But at the same time, so I'm like, someone who can't do that is always going to trigger someone who's a little bit, who's jealous tendencies.
00:50:31
Speaker
But then someone who's like Matt, who's basically controlling and insane, he's going to get explosively angry, which is abuse, by the way.
00:50:38
Speaker
But even if she drew those boundaries, you know, men like Matt, they would find something else.
00:50:43
Speaker
Something else, for sure.
00:50:44
Speaker
They would find something else.
00:50:46
Speaker
It's not about Colleen drawing boundaries.
00:50:48
Speaker
It's just that Matt is abusive.
00:50:50
Speaker
Like, that's what it is.
00:50:51
Speaker
Yeah, he's going to find whatever it is to justify.
00:50:54
Speaker
He's clearly hypervigilant and, like, finding whatever he can find to justify why he should be in this, like, righteous, angry rage all the time.
00:51:02
Speaker
He's a type of person, even if she asked another man for directions, he would explode at that.
00:51:07
Speaker
Be like, you should have asked me, or why didn't you ask a woman?
00:51:10
Speaker
Or, you know, why are you talking to a man?
00:51:11
Speaker
Like, he just gives that vibe.
00:51:13
Speaker
He's crazy.
00:51:14
Speaker
So, fucking run.
00:51:16
Speaker
Under no circumstances, Colleen.
00:51:18
Speaker
I hope she says no.
00:51:19
Speaker
I'm not convinced she'll say no, but I hope she says no.
00:51:23
Speaker
She should have let him go when he said he was breaking things off.
00:51:25
Speaker
And I don't understand why Barty's just trying to get him to stay at the end.
00:51:28
Speaker
Again, so abusive.
00:51:30
Speaker
He knows that she would be devastated.
00:51:32
Speaker
He knows this.
00:51:33
Speaker
That's why he's threatening to leave.
00:51:34
Speaker
That's why he threatens to leave.
00:51:36
Speaker
It's just he's such a piece of shit.
00:51:37
Speaker
And at one point in the episode, I was like, I'm kind of, I don't condone cheating, but I'm glad you got cheated on and your wife left you because you're a piece of shit.
00:51:45
Speaker
Yeah, he does sound like a piece of shit.
00:51:47
Speaker
It's like nowhere around that.
00:51:51
Speaker
So yeah, so Colleen's got to fix her boundaries so she doesn't end up in relationships with abusive men like Matt.
00:51:58
Speaker
And Matt obviously needs like intensive fucking therapy and a reality check that everybody, you know, hey, we all take L's in life, man.
00:52:04
Speaker
Like you're going to just keep, I don't know, being a nutcase until you end up in jail probably.
00:52:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:10
Speaker
So which brings us to the other couple.
Zeneb and Cole: Mismatched and Miscommunicated
00:52:13
Speaker
I think the last couple that was the one that there was a lot of focus on as far as their toxic dynamic was concerned, which was Zeneb and Cole.
00:52:20
Speaker
So your impression of Zeneb and Cole?
00:52:23
Speaker
Zeneb, again, we sort of have that
00:52:25
Speaker
I think between them, we almost have the Nancy-Bartiste dynamic where Cole is, he clearly built a picture of who she was in the pod in his head, which is fair enough, by the way.
00:52:38
Speaker
I felt like I could relate to what Cole was saying when he was saying that the person who I thought she was or what she looked like in the pod is different to who she acted like.
00:52:46
Speaker
actually is.
00:52:47
Speaker
And I'm trying to reconcile the two because when I used to date a lot online, I would go through that.
00:52:52
Speaker
So the person that you speak to over Skype or even like a video call, when you actually see them in the flesh, it's often very different.
00:53:00
Speaker
And I'd often say to guys like, you know, your voice doesn't match, you know, what I thought your body would look like or something like that.
00:53:06
Speaker
So I sort of understand that disconnect.
00:53:08
Speaker
But yeah, again, it's quite, I'm not sure if the physical attraction is there.
00:53:13
Speaker
So they were giving me the same vibes as Shane and Natalie from season two.
00:53:17
Speaker
I have zero idea why these two people with clearly massively different personalities are attracted to each other.
00:53:25
Speaker
And different temperaments as well.
00:53:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:28
Speaker
But I thought the whole scoring thing was very, very inappropriate.
00:53:31
Speaker
Like I get, you know, how Bartiste is somewhat was honest with, you know, Nancy, how he felt about Raven.
00:53:37
Speaker
But I feel like even he did it in a better way than Cole because Cole gave Colleen like a 10 out of 10 and gave a Nancy a 9 out of 10.
00:53:44
Speaker
I thought that was really, really rude.
00:53:46
Speaker
Gave Zanab a 9 out of 10?
00:53:48
Speaker
Yes, yes, sorry.
00:53:49
Speaker
Yes, Gabe, like, Zenab a nine out of ten.
00:53:51
Speaker
And I just thought that was really... And then he had the audacity to say, like, you know, 80% of women, I wouldn't even score them higher than a six.
00:53:57
Speaker
I'm just like, mate, you're a two.
00:53:59
Speaker
Yeah, he's getting white guy points.
00:54:00
Speaker
This is what I hate.
00:54:01
Speaker
White guy points.
00:54:02
Speaker
I'm so serious.
00:54:03
Speaker
Like I felt that same way about Shane where you can just see like women of color on the show who just like, this guy is not that great.
00:54:10
Speaker
He's just not like, and you can tell that like their insecurities about being a minority more than likely in a majority white environment are getting to them so that they're just overvaluing some of these like clearly scroty guys and overvaluing their opinion way too much.
00:54:24
Speaker
Right.
00:54:24
Speaker
So Zainab felt rejected by him.
00:54:26
Speaker
And then it felt like she spent the entire time just like taking out that insecurity on him, even when he was like trying to emotionally like reconnect.
00:54:36
Speaker
Like he said things that were like, yeah, like rude, like the rating system or whatever.
00:54:40
Speaker
But at the same time, I feel like their dynamic was set up such that
00:54:43
Speaker
he says like kind of an insensitive thing.
00:54:45
Speaker
And then like, rather than her expressing very clearly, like that, this is like hurtful to me.
00:54:51
Speaker
Like she just starts like negging him and then getting like, yeah, being quite passive aggressive, passive aggressive, bunch of shit.
00:54:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:58
Speaker
About a bunch of shit.
00:54:59
Speaker
And I'm like, that's really, really unhealthy dynamic to set up, except for at the end where like when her and Matt had that little powwow about the commentary that Cole and Colleen had together.
00:55:09
Speaker
And then like, they just, they, they hype each other up to be really mad, then go back and explode.
00:55:13
Speaker
than their partners.
00:55:14
Speaker
Like, what the fuck?
00:55:15
Speaker
Do you remember that?
00:55:17
Speaker
Like, so, like, Matt and Zenit were like, yeah, this is inappropriate, right?
00:55:21
Speaker
What happened?
00:55:22
Speaker
And then they get really, both get really mad.
00:55:25
Speaker
You can imagine, like, you know, like a boxing ring where they go to the corners and they're, like, massaging each other and giving each other water.
00:55:30
Speaker
So, like,
00:55:34
Speaker
exactly what happened and then Zennep goes back to Cole and is like yeah and she's like I knocked him the fuck out yeah and she's like yeah I'm not really here for your little like your little display and then Cole just looked confused like he's like what
00:55:49
Speaker
Cause she's like, she's mad, mad, right?
00:55:52
Speaker
Like they're both on this narrative that they're on and they're not getting off of it.
00:55:56
Speaker
Right.
00:55:56
Speaker
Like, so, and they're just, they're mad because they feel disrespected.
00:55:59
Speaker
They felt very disrespected for that, by the exchange that Matt and Colleen had, which I can, okay.
00:56:05
Speaker
I can definitely understand being on television, not wanting to be humiliated.
00:56:09
Speaker
And then especially if there's like a rating system and the person you're with is saying that they might be more attracted to another person.
00:56:15
Speaker
Colleen, I feel like just doing it out of her people pleasing tendencies and Matt, because he's just like,
00:56:19
Speaker
immature like goofball right like who just kind of he's not really thinking about how the things he says affects other people but like zenib kind of i think because her self-esteem is so like fragile and obviously she's had to take care of herself because her parents died and and she's got more you know she's got a little bit of a chip on her shoulder like she just like starts attacking attacking attacking and i feel like that's not a healthy way to handle that guy but i think if she had better self-esteem like she just wouldn't be as defensive about everything you know
00:56:46
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:56:47
Speaker
She would just accept him for what he is.
00:56:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:50
Speaker
And I don't know if the age, like, I sort of get the vibe that with like Nancy and like, and also Zainab, they might be feeling insecure about their age and just willing to settle down because they're both over 30.
00:57:04
Speaker
And they're just thinking like, I need to be a wife now.
00:57:07
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:57:08
Speaker
I wonder if that sort of plays into the fact that they are remaining in situations that they should really be bailing out of.
00:57:15
Speaker
Yeah, I wonder if that plays into it.
00:57:17
Speaker
It definitely could be.
00:57:18
Speaker
It's hard to like, I mean, I wonder if she would have created this dynamic outside of the show, even if the guy was the same age as her, though.
00:57:25
Speaker
Right.
00:57:25
Speaker
I don't even necessarily know if it's just that.
00:57:27
Speaker
And it's just that she, for whatever reason, I thought it was interesting where she was like, well, I'm a grown woman and I wanted to have sex.
00:57:34
Speaker
We had sex the first night.
00:57:35
Speaker
And even like their whole flirtation in the pool, like she just seemed like she was very like trying to put on the image of like what she thought he wanted.
00:57:42
Speaker
And then like after they have sex, that post and that clarity hit both of them.
00:57:45
Speaker
And obviously she went to his house and his house was filthy.
00:57:47
Speaker
Like she's not actually impressed by him.
00:57:49
Speaker
Right.
00:57:50
Speaker
So like when you look at, when you look at Zeneb's like reaction to them again, she's with him, but I don't think she actually likes him more than like, she seems overly desperate for this guy's approval.
00:58:00
Speaker
And then she doesn't get it.
00:58:01
Speaker
She like lashes out at him.
00:58:03
Speaker
So like when you're watching that dynamic of them after they had sex and then how Zeneb's like, well, he was really distant the next day.
00:58:09
Speaker
And then she's like having this whole narrative go in her head.
00:58:11
Speaker
And it's like, well, he thinks I'm ugly with no makeup on or,
00:58:13
Speaker
I don't really exactly know what the deal was, but it just seemed like they didn't actually connect.
00:58:18
Speaker
And then like after they had sex, that was very, very obvious, right?
00:58:22
Speaker
That like whatever show she was trying to put on to make him like her, you know, I feel like he's been who he is since the first time in the pods.
00:58:29
Speaker
And like, she's been trying to, I think, put on,
00:58:32
Speaker
you know, make herself seem more adventurous than maybe she really is.
00:58:35
Speaker
You know, like Colleen is clearly more easygoing.
00:58:38
Speaker
And like, I think they show the juxtaposition between like Zeneb not wanting to get her hair wet or get in the pool.
00:58:42
Speaker
And then Colleen kind of being like very much like into more playful and into the whole thing that, yeah, that's probably like personality wise, that someone that makes more sense with Cole.
00:58:51
Speaker
So again, I'm like wondering why if Zeneb was different to the point where Cole was confused when she came out of the pods, or if like Cole was
00:58:58
Speaker
Set up that dynamic with Zeneb, like with the expectation that he liked her kind of nitpicking and like mothering him.
00:59:04
Speaker
And, but he thought it was a joke because he didn't see her body language and then being confused that she was like very nitpicky and serious in real life.
00:59:11
Speaker
So I don't know.
00:59:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:59:13
Speaker
Oh, what a dumpster fire relationship, to be honest.
00:59:16
Speaker
Yeah, super dumpster fire.
00:59:18
Speaker
Super dumpster fire.
00:59:20
Speaker
I don't think there's anything he can do to make her feel secure.
00:59:22
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:59:23
Speaker
Like, I mean, he could not, like, obviously say douchebag things like, I think Colleen's a 10 out of 10.
00:59:28
Speaker
But, like, at the same time, he can't make her feel secure with herself.
00:59:32
Speaker
Like, she has to kind of take a step back.
00:59:34
Speaker
I just think they're incompatible.
00:59:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:59:37
Speaker
But the thing is, like, what I'm worried about with Zeneb is that she's going to recreate that dynamic with just about any guy.
00:59:42
Speaker
Right.
00:59:43
Speaker
Because if she doesn't like work on her insecurity portion of it is that it'll keep being like she'll find some reason why she thinks she's not good enough for this guy.
00:59:51
Speaker
And then like perpetually like start shit with the entire relationship rather than just like, yeah, breaking things off or admitting her feelings about it.
00:59:58
Speaker
So that's not healthy.
01:00:00
Speaker
So, yeah, they shouldn't make it to the author.
01:00:01
Speaker
They definitely should not get married.
01:00:03
Speaker
Love is clearly not blind.
01:00:04
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:05
Speaker
why they keep dragging this experiment forward but we're gonna keep we're gonna keep her critiquing it as long
The Impact of Reality TV Format on Relationships
01:00:10
Speaker
as they do i did find it really weird when i think it was is it alexa she says like i came on the show because you know one of my life partner you know um yeah blah blah blah and she's like i've seen other couples who've you know found love on this show and they're still together and i'm just like how many though maybe from like season one like lauren is her name
01:00:29
Speaker
Yeah, season one when they had longer time to talk to each other before like the production started rushing everything.
01:00:35
Speaker
And so then only people that have like weird personality disorder attachment styles get through, right?
01:00:41
Speaker
But I don't think any of the season two couples, none of them are still together.
01:00:44
Speaker
None of them aren't together.
01:00:45
Speaker
I think even the ones that were together that didn't make it onto the show because there was two couples that got engaged on the show that weren't followed by the cameras.
01:00:52
Speaker
And I think they're even broken up.
01:00:53
Speaker
Yeah, both of them split up.
01:00:54
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:55
Speaker
I think the problem is, is that they're not giving them enough time to realistically build a connection.
01:01:00
Speaker
And so all we're going to get are these like people that jump the gun and are kind of... And the clout chasers who just want to be on TV.
01:01:07
Speaker
Yeah, which I hope they correct at some point because it's kind of shitty for the show because I feel like the first season was better, but it's now just becoming another reality TV turnaround.
01:01:16
Speaker
Yep.
01:01:17
Speaker
So that's
Conclusion and Call to Action
01:01:18
Speaker
that.
01:01:18
Speaker
We'll do part two after the reunion episode comes out, I think on November 9th.
01:01:24
Speaker
So stay tuned for part two of Love is Blind.
01:01:26
Speaker
We either do it on the pod, main pod or in the Patreon.
01:01:29
Speaker
So, but anyways, that's our show.
01:01:30
Speaker
Check us out.
01:01:31
Speaker
And you can discuss this episode on thefemaledatingstrategy.com forward slash forum.
01:01:36
Speaker
If you want to talk to us in the forum and
01:01:38
Speaker
Check out our Patreon, patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy for weekly bonus content.
01:01:43
Speaker
You can also submit your roast to scrote, submit your holiday roast, your Thanksgiving roast to scrote to be read by us.
01:01:49
Speaker
Also follow us on Twitter at fem.strat and on Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
01:01:56
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
01:01:57
Speaker
And for all you scrotes out there, we hope Raven shuts you down.
01:02:00
Speaker
Die mad.
01:02:01
Speaker
Die mad.