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SCROTES MAD: Child Free Chelsea Handler Causes Conservative Conniption Fit
28 Plays2 years ago
A 1 Minute comedy video of Chelsea Handler celebrating her child-free life sends the conservative scrotes into a frothing rage. Here's why they're REALLY mad.
Chelsea Handler --> https://twitter.com/chelseahandler/status/1624130272265662464?s=20
A Thread of Scrote Rage --> https://twitter.com/Reaux_FDS/status/1625523857892474881?s=20
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:06
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Cating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:11
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:00:12
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
Chelsea Handler's Child-Free Lifestyle Controversy
00:00:14
Speaker
All right.
00:00:14
Speaker
So today we're going to cover an event that has rocked the Twitter world.
00:00:19
Speaker
And it is a fairly innocuous video of Chelsea Handler declaring herself child-free and happy and making a video of all the things she gets to do because she doesn't have children.
00:00:31
Speaker
Now, for most of us, this would be an incident where we would look at the video and be like, haha, and then scroll past.
00:00:37
Speaker
Or even just be like, you know, cool.
00:00:39
Speaker
Good for her.
00:00:40
Speaker
That's her life.
00:00:40
Speaker
I'll get on with mine, you know?
00:00:42
Speaker
Right.
00:00:43
Speaker
And that's honestly what 90% of the people who watch that video did.
00:00:47
Speaker
Except that's what normal, well-adjusted, non-scroaty, non-pick-me people did.
00:00:54
Speaker
The scrotes have been mad.
00:00:56
Speaker
For days.
00:00:57
Speaker
Days.
00:00:58
Speaker
Like at least a week now.
00:01:01
Speaker
Tucker Carlson weighed in on the video, Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro, all the normal.
00:01:07
Speaker
The conservative A-list.
00:01:09
Speaker
Yeah.
Conservative Criticism and Misogynistic Attitudes
00:01:10
Speaker
I mean, I don't know if I would call them A-list because these are like, honestly, the scrodiest men who are pretty unapologetic about their rampant sexism and misogyny towards women because they're
00:01:20
Speaker
You know, not all conservatives are this openly misogynist, but these guys are consistently and repeatedly openly misogynist towards women.
00:01:27
Speaker
So like this apparently triggered them to hell.
00:01:30
Speaker
They've been rage posting over and over and over again about Chelsea Handler, how she's going to die alone, how she's going to burn in hell because she had abortions, etc.
00:01:40
Speaker
You know how like when we spoke about like the night vigil, you can blatantly tell, I'm not sure if I went to night vigil growing up, but you know when you like pray against your enemies for 12 hours, that's 100% what these guys did.
00:01:52
Speaker
They went to church and prayed that God would smite Chelsea Handler for daring to be happy without kids.
00:01:57
Speaker
Please bring her misery.
00:01:58
Speaker
Please bring her.
00:01:59
Speaker
Please smite her Lord in her sleep.
00:02:01
Speaker
It's only a minute long.
00:02:02
Speaker
So I will rip the audio and then insert it here.
00:02:07
Speaker
So you guys can listen to it for the purposes for the rest of this discussion.
00:02:11
Speaker
But it's such a silly little video that's maybe a minute long.
00:02:14
Speaker
And for them to be mad for a whole week.
00:02:18
Speaker
And for this to be a continuous talking point, we thought like we should sit here and dissect this about child free women, why some women choose not to have children, why it's a valid choice, why it's a good choice in some circumstances.
00:02:31
Speaker
And also like dissecting why the skirts are so mad and all the power dynamics that are thwarted when women choose to not have
Ridiculing Conservative Outrage
00:02:38
Speaker
children.
00:02:38
Speaker
So here's the Chelsea Handler clip.
00:02:41
Speaker
This is a day in the life of a childless woman.
00:02:44
Speaker
I wake up at 6 a.m.
00:02:45
Speaker
I remember that I have no kids to take to school, so I take an edible, masturbate, and go back to sleep.
00:02:52
Speaker
I wake up at 12.30 p.m.
00:02:54
Speaker
and get ready for a busy day of doing whatever the I feel like.
00:02:59
Speaker
I put on my most impractical and stylish shoes since I won't be chasing a child around the grocery store.
00:03:05
Speaker
I go to my fave spot in Paris to grab a croissant.
00:03:09
Speaker
I do a meditation sesh on the plane since I have no screaming kids, allowing me all the time in the world to become enlightened.
00:03:17
Speaker
The weightlessness of my existence has granted me superhuman powers.
00:03:22
Speaker
I teleport myself back home.
00:03:24
Speaker
Then I get ready for a night out with whatever hot guy I met on Raya that morning.
00:03:30
Speaker
I call up a babysitter and tell her that I don't need her since I still don't have kids.
00:03:35
Speaker
Now it's time for a workout, so I hit Mount Everest for a quick climb.
00:03:39
Speaker
I invent a time machine, go back in time and kill Hitler.
00:03:43
Speaker
Freeze, you bastard!
00:03:45
Speaker
It's amazing what you can do when you have this much free time.
00:03:49
Speaker
And that's a day in the life of a childless woman.
00:03:52
Speaker
okay, sis did nothing wrong.
00:03:53
Speaker
I'm all about that child-free life.
00:03:56
Speaker
All about it.
Societal Pressures on Motherhood
00:03:58
Speaker
If that's what a woman wants, of course.
00:03:59
Speaker
If that's what she wants.
00:04:01
Speaker
Okay, so let's talk about first the reaction to this video and then Savannah, you can discuss like why you don't want to have children.
00:04:09
Speaker
So, okay.
00:04:10
Speaker
So in response to this video, here's just a few of the comments that came from the video.
00:04:14
Speaker
And make sure you do the scrotie voice as well.
00:04:18
Speaker
Okay.
00:04:19
Speaker
This is from a conservative commenter, Graham Allen.
00:04:23
Speaker
This is the saddest thing I've ever seen and also a reason for every young woman not to repeat your horrendous existence.
00:04:33
Speaker
This is from Matthew Marston.
00:04:35
Speaker
Can you use the time machine and go forward to your deathbed when you die alone with no one around you?
00:04:40
Speaker
Third commentator, Jared Monroe.
00:04:42
Speaker
If you want to live a meaningless life void of courage and joy, that's your right.
00:04:46
Speaker
But stop selling it to kids and young adults as if you're happy with your life choices.
00:04:49
Speaker
You're not.
00:04:50
Speaker
And most of us know it.
00:04:53
Speaker
William Coleman.
00:04:54
Speaker
And notice every single one of these guys has a blue check, even though most of their opinions are irrelevant, by
Conservative Male Perspective on Childlessness
00:04:59
Speaker
the way.
00:04:59
Speaker
Like nobody knows who the fuck these guys are.
00:05:01
Speaker
Yeah, they bought it.
00:05:02
Speaker
To be fair, at least Elon has made it easier to identify the losers because you can see who's bought the blue tick.
00:05:07
Speaker
Another Elon L.
00:05:10
Speaker
People are going to start buying that blue tick just so they don't get their accounts hacked because he just got rid of two-factor authentication because he's an amazing businessman that totally knows what he's doing.
00:05:21
Speaker
William Coleman, all of us with children are laughing at you.
00:05:24
Speaker
I wouldn't have traded for anything in the universe.
00:05:26
Speaker
Enjoy the barren womb though.
00:05:32
Speaker
they're so angry if your kids if your kids make you that happy why aren't you playing with them as opposed to insulting a strange woman on twitter like why not go play with the kids if they make you happy
00:05:46
Speaker
It's the weirdest thing.
00:05:48
Speaker
They spend their entire time talking about how obsessed they are with women who are single, women who are childless, young women, like women who have no interest in these men whatsoever, why they cosplay as good husbands and fathers.
00:06:01
Speaker
And I'm like, I can't.
00:06:01
Speaker
I cannot imagine your wife is that excited about you being like this worked up over like what other women are doing, unless she's like a card carrying pick me, which I guess she has to be if she's married to these guys.
00:06:11
Speaker
But I'm like, I've just never, I've never seen a good husband and father who's this pressed and stressed.
00:06:18
Speaker
about other women yeah because they're out there being good husbands and fathers like they don't have time and even if they may not agree with that lifestyle or they'll have a different perspective they're not going to attack another woman for it because they understand that people can make their own choice it's not like oh it's just oh here's the other one uh jw men another like i bought my blue check twitter
00:06:42
Speaker
You forgot something.
00:06:43
Speaker
The part of sitting alone on the holidays and growing old by yourself.
00:06:46
Speaker
It gets really lonely at the end.
00:06:48
Speaker
I get the impression, like, the way these conservatives talk about sitting alone, if you don't have kids, it's like, you must not have any friends, then.
00:06:56
Speaker
Do you not have friends?
00:06:57
Speaker
Like... Yeah.
00:06:59
Speaker
Having a kid is the most selfless act an adult can make.
00:07:01
Speaker
Chelsea isn't very selfless, so 100% she shouldn't have any kids.
00:07:05
Speaker
Some people are just built different.
00:07:06
Speaker
She doesn't have what it takes to be a parent.
00:07:08
Speaker
I'm like, all it takes to be a parent is to have working sexual organs, sir.
00:07:12
Speaker
That's it.
00:07:13
Speaker
That's true.
00:07:14
Speaker
Most people become parents because they don't wear condoms and don't use birth control.
00:07:18
Speaker
That's it.
00:07:19
Speaker
True.
00:07:20
Speaker
And then we have King Scroat, of all Scroats.
00:07:22
Speaker
He's been like the main one raging for days.
00:07:24
Speaker
Tucker Carlson weighed in, Matt Walsh weighed in.
00:07:27
Speaker
But this guy has been like extra mad because Chelsea Handler has been open about the fact that she's had an abortion or actually maybe a couple of abortions.
00:07:37
Speaker
Yeah, she's had a few, hasn't she?
00:07:38
Speaker
Yeah.
Critique of Chelsea Handler's Influence
00:07:39
Speaker
And I think examining these comments really helps you like understand what the issue really is.
00:07:44
Speaker
So this is Matt whilst.
00:07:45
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:07:45
Speaker
She's scary.
00:07:46
Speaker
One thing to keep in mind about Chelsea Handler is that she actually has had three children, but she murdered all of them.
00:07:52
Speaker
That's why she so desperately justifies her childlessness.
00:07:55
Speaker
Her freedom was purchased with the blood of her own children.
00:07:57
Speaker
Chelsea Handler wants you to know that she's really happy being a childless 47 year old.
00:08:01
Speaker
Like seriously happy.
00:08:02
Speaker
She's so happy.
00:08:03
Speaker
You guys.
00:08:04
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:04
Speaker
Nobody say she's sad.
00:08:05
Speaker
She's not definitely not.
00:08:07
Speaker
Right.
00:08:09
Speaker
Then he did a whole podcast episode about Chelsea Handler called Creepy Childless Spinster Promotes Childlessness.
00:08:16
Speaker
Oh, my.
00:08:16
Speaker
He did a whole podcast episode?
00:08:18
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:08:19
Speaker
Yeah, he's really like obsessed with Chelsea Handler.
00:08:23
Speaker
So basically, all the reasons that conservatives have been mad about this video boil down to the following.
00:08:28
Speaker
So first of all, they're anti-abortion.
00:08:30
Speaker
Secondly, they think it's selfish not to have children.
00:08:33
Speaker
Three, they think she's missing out in life for a bunch of different emotional reasons, mostly.
00:08:38
Speaker
Four, they think she's going to die alone.
00:08:41
Speaker
Five, they think nature designed us to procreate.
00:08:43
Speaker
And then six, they think she's lying about being happy without children and leading women astray to her abhorrent lifestyle, quote, quote.
Motivations Behind Motherhood Decisions
00:08:50
Speaker
So those are the six major reasons that conservatives have been rage posting about this little joke about this little joke of a video from Chelsea Handler for a week.
00:09:01
Speaker
And the amount of anger and scrote fury is so disproportionate to the video.
00:09:08
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:09
Speaker
That you know that even with all of these outlined reasons that the subtext is so much deeper than that.
00:09:15
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:16
Speaker
There's almost this like cognitive dissonance.
00:09:18
Speaker
I think like one of the scrotes touched on it, but it's like, if she's so selfish and shouldn't be having kids, then why are you, you know, saying it's so sad she doesn't have kids, if that makes sense.
00:09:30
Speaker
Like, don't you want to experience the joy?
00:09:34
Speaker
But then you say she's so selfish.
00:09:35
Speaker
I'm like, well, yeah, selfish people shouldn't have children.
00:09:37
Speaker
Like, if you truly believe that's an issue, then you should be glad she's not having children.
00:09:43
Speaker
Right?
00:09:44
Speaker
Like, am I missing something?
00:09:46
Speaker
Exactly.
00:09:46
Speaker
That's why you know that it's really deeper than that for them.
00:09:49
Speaker
Yeah, it's a lot deeper than that.
00:09:51
Speaker
Because if they can have someone who they hate politically, because Chelsea Handler's made it no secret how, like, left-wing and overall...
00:09:59
Speaker
I think she's probably the antithesis of conservatism.
00:10:02
Speaker
Like she's very much a type, the type of woman who they would hate all of her politics, but, and for some reason they're dying to make sure this woman like procreates because otherwise it's a problem.
00:10:13
Speaker
And I don't get it except for the fact that they really feel like any woman who's outside their matrix of control and that they see marriage and motherhood as a means of control.
00:10:24
Speaker
And they know it.
00:10:24
Speaker
That's why they're so mad when women are outside of it.
00:10:27
Speaker
Yeah, and that's the reason why they make things like abortion harder.
00:10:30
Speaker
That's the reason why they try and promote that being the trad wife is the way.
00:10:34
Speaker
It's not the way for women.
00:10:36
Speaker
They know that women who, on average, women who get married and have children, they are at a disadvantage in society.
00:10:43
Speaker
They know this, but they promote it so that women end up thinking that it's in their best interests whilst they're being disadvantaged.
00:10:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:50
Speaker
It's an absolutely cruel con what these conservatives, well, I mean, it's in the name, but it's actually quite an elaborate con that they're doing to women.
00:10:58
Speaker
Conservatives.
00:11:01
Speaker
And like speaking from the perspective of, you know, somebody who is likely going to be child free and that I'm not really desperate to have children.
00:11:08
Speaker
And it took me a while to realize that actually having children is optional, at least, you know, for me anyway, that I don't actually have to have children because I've never been one of those people that is enamored by babies or really thought like, I really, really want to be a mom one day.
00:11:23
Speaker
That's just never been me.
00:11:24
Speaker
And I recognise that can be difficult to comprehend for a lot of people, especially people who are parents.
00:11:30
Speaker
But this whole idea that we are crying or that I'm worried that I'm going to be alone on my deathbed or that I'm going to have no friends and I'm older, it's just not a thing for me at all.
00:11:41
Speaker
And even if it was a thing, I wouldn't see that as a good enough reason to have children.
00:11:46
Speaker
Because to me, that's no different.
00:11:48
Speaker
I mean, you're basically trying to give birth to your future carers, which is...
00:11:53
Speaker
I don't know how more capitalist you can get, like basically birthing your own slaves, like future, like future slaves.
Selfish Motivations for Parenthood
00:12:01
Speaker
I just don't think that's appropriate.
00:12:03
Speaker
And it's just, it isn't really a thing.
00:12:05
Speaker
Obviously, I have a lot of sympathy for women who wanted to be mums, but can't for, you know, one reason or another.
00:12:12
Speaker
That's totally different.
00:12:13
Speaker
But for me, I'm assuming I'm fertile because...
00:12:16
Speaker
all the women in my family are very, very fertile.
00:12:18
Speaker
So I'm assuming I don't have any fertility issues, but it's just not a thing.
00:12:22
Speaker
Like I'm not sitting there feeling like I've missed out.
00:12:26
Speaker
And in actual fact, I completely understand women like Chelsea Handler because the older I become, the less I want children.
00:12:33
Speaker
And people who have kids, they always say, oh, you know, when you get older, you know, you'll change your mind.
00:12:39
Speaker
But actually, I've become more child free as I've gotten older, because I've built my lifestyle and my dreams and aspirations on not having children.
00:12:48
Speaker
As I get older, you know, there is a lot more that I would have to give up and sacrifice if I wanted to become a parent, if that makes sense.
00:12:54
Speaker
So actually, it's...
00:12:56
Speaker
if you don't want to have children, this whole idea of you will change your mind when you get older is just, it's not really a thing.
00:13:02
Speaker
And I've noticed that's only really said towards women, like we are supposed to change our minds.
00:13:06
Speaker
And, you know, for me as well, I think every child who comes into this world should be wanted and the parents should, you know, want to provide for them as an individual human being and not seeing them as some future, you know, carer or companion down the line.
Unrealistic Expectations of Children as Support
00:13:24
Speaker
And I just don't want kids enough.
00:13:26
Speaker
So therefore, I don't want to bring them into this world because I wouldn't want them.
00:13:30
Speaker
And that's just it.
00:13:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:31
Speaker
And I think we have to start having a conversation about how choosing not to have children is as much of a selfless choice as the conservatives try to portray it as a selfish choice, because a lot of people have children for children.
00:13:47
Speaker
extremely selfish region.
00:13:49
Speaker
So them trying to paint Chelsea Handler as inherently selfish because she chose not to have children is incorrect because there's a lot of people that have children, a lot of women who would choose to have a man's child because they just want to hold on to that man, even though he doesn't want to be with them anymore.
00:14:04
Speaker
So it becomes, it's like a baby they have just to try to anchor that man to them.
00:14:09
Speaker
And it actually ends up being like an uno reverse and that it sort of anchors her to him more than it anchors the man to her.
00:14:15
Speaker
And so a lot of women end up disappointed.
00:14:17
Speaker
A lot of women do have children to have child slaves.
00:14:21
Speaker
Even if you look at some of, you know, the replies, there was a woman who was saying, oh, you're not going to have anyone to visit you.
00:14:27
Speaker
You know, nobody's going to look after you when you're sick.
00:14:30
Speaker
And it's like, those are not reasons to have children.
00:14:33
Speaker
And, you know, what a lot of people don't realise as well is that there are so many variables to having children that could mean that your dream of having, you know, future carers isn't realised.
00:14:43
Speaker
They could be born with a profound disability.
00:14:45
Speaker
They could die before, you know, they're able to take care of you.
00:14:48
Speaker
They could move to Australia, the other side of the world, and not be able to visit.
00:14:53
Speaker
I mean, I don't live near my parents anymore.
00:14:55
Speaker
And so I mean, like some of my siblings do.
00:14:57
Speaker
But like, realistically, I think people are much more mobile today than of yesteryear.
00:15:02
Speaker
So all of my siblings at some point didn't live near my parents.
00:15:06
Speaker
Like some of them settled permanently in other states like myself.
00:15:10
Speaker
But it's not a guarantee that your children will always be around the corner from you.
00:15:15
Speaker
And people need to be able to work.
00:15:16
Speaker
Like if you think about the people saying, oh, it's good to have children because they can look after you when you're older.
00:15:22
Speaker
You know, could they afford to quit their job and look after their parents full time now?
00:15:27
Speaker
Absolutely not.
00:15:28
Speaker
You know, things are only going to get more expensive in life, probably.
00:15:31
Speaker
So what makes you think in 20, 30 years that your kids are going to be able to do the same?
00:15:36
Speaker
Right.
00:15:36
Speaker
And I mean, even among immigrant families, in fact, it's kind of interesting.
00:15:41
Speaker
I can only speak for my family, but I mean, my mom said the family are immigrants and like they have a bunch of relatives back in their home country.
00:15:47
Speaker
And so when they came here, there was no guarantee that they were going to be taken care of, right?
00:15:51
Speaker
Like the relatives they have, like my great-great-grandmother and great-great-grandfather, et cetera, et cetera.
00:15:56
Speaker
So you know what I mean?
00:15:58
Speaker
So like even of our parents' generation where it was much more common for, and typically immigrant families, where it's much more common and expected that
00:16:06
Speaker
the children would be the caretaker of the aging parents.
00:16:09
Speaker
It still wasn't a guarantee for them, even with like the weight of that cultural expectation.
Gender and Caregiving in Modern Society
00:16:14
Speaker
So now there's even less cultural expectation.
00:16:17
Speaker
I'm wondering people using their kids as an insurance plan or a backup plan.
00:16:20
Speaker
And I'm not saying it's a bad thing that we take care of our grandparents.
00:16:23
Speaker
In fact, I actually think it's still, as long as they're not like horrible people or anything, it's good.
00:16:27
Speaker
No, it's good.
00:16:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:29
Speaker
I just think it's tough to put that weight on your children, especially, let me tell you, especially if you're an oldest daughter, especially if it's like going to be your oldest daughter, because we're probably going to do a separate episode on eldest daughters.
00:16:41
Speaker
But a lot of that kind of stuff, that weight of managing the family falls on a particular person.
00:16:47
Speaker
And I do think that there's a little bit, a lot more pushback nowadays from children expecting, especially female children, expecting to martyr themselves for the greater family care from birth till death, really.
00:16:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:59
Speaker
And it's like as well.
00:17:00
Speaker
And, you know, another thing they love to use as a talking point is, oh, you'll die alone.
00:17:05
Speaker
When if you ask any staff in a nursing home, how many people come to visit, you'll find that even the people in the home with like loads of kids, they don't come to visit them very often.
00:17:18
Speaker
In fact, that's the reason why they're in the nursing home is because their kids don't want to look after them.
00:17:22
Speaker
That's the reason why they're there.
00:17:24
Speaker
Yeah, a lot of times they need extensive care and not everybody can afford, you know, like having an in-home caretaker.
00:17:30
Speaker
Sometimes they have to take them to these nursing homes.
00:17:32
Speaker
And then realistically, if you're at work all day, you know.
00:17:35
Speaker
Well, yeah.
00:17:36
Speaker
And I just feel like people have like romanticized death and believing that, you know, all your kids or your grandkids are going to be around your deathbed.
00:17:43
Speaker
And I was like, Queen Elizabeth, the only members of her family that were there when she died,
00:17:48
Speaker
was King Charles and Princess Anne.
00:17:50
Speaker
Those were the only two there, and she's a queen of England, and she was probably dying already.
00:17:54
Speaker
So if she's going to only have two or four of her kids there, then, you know, what's the hope for you?
00:18:02
Speaker
Yeah, we just need to accept that on some level we all die alone, and that's okay.
00:18:06
Speaker
We all die alone, yes.
00:18:08
Speaker
And again, I just don't feel like it's a reason to, like, birth your future mourners.
00:18:14
Speaker
So you won't die alone.
00:18:16
Speaker
Right, exactly.
00:18:17
Speaker
I think we should have a bunch of kids because I want to spread our ideology far and wide.
00:18:21
Speaker
So I feel like I know I've been like we've been saying about how great or all the reasons you should be child free if you want to.
00:18:27
Speaker
But truthfully, I'm pro natalist for FDS women like find a high value men and breed the fuck out of them so that like we can correct the gene pool for the next generation.
00:18:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:37
Speaker
Yeah, so we can shift the order.
00:18:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:39
Speaker
But if you do want to be
Societal Influence on Reproductive Choices
00:18:40
Speaker
child free as well, like there are other ways you can influence the next generation.
00:18:44
Speaker
You can have nieces or nephews.
00:18:46
Speaker
You can mentor a child.
00:18:48
Speaker
Like I sponsor two children in an African and a South American country as well.
00:18:54
Speaker
I'm hoping to do two more, add two more this year.
00:18:57
Speaker
But there are other ways that you can positively influence children and contribute to their upbringing without having kids as well.
00:19:04
Speaker
That's another thing.
00:19:05
Speaker
And a lot of these tactics and anybody who grew up in like Christian conservative culture, once you realize to the extent that a lot of their pro birtherism is just because they want to spread their ideology through like forcing women to have a bunch of kids.
00:19:20
Speaker
This is essentially like the impetus behind trying to force women to have children's dependency, its control.
00:19:27
Speaker
And it's also to, you know, these different ideologies like the quarterfielder movement, the idea is that Christian people should populate the earth with people of their beliefs, right?
00:19:37
Speaker
So the less available women there are to populate with their beliefs, they realize not only losing like control over that particular woman, but they're going to lose the culture war, right?
00:19:47
Speaker
So I'm a big fan of women like Uno reversing that entire trend by like having children with good men rather than like just having popping out a bunch of babies for like these kind of shitty entitled conservative men who brainwash these women who think like being a breeding machine.
00:20:04
Speaker
They think being a breeding machine is being a warrior princess in the Christian army.
00:20:08
Speaker
It's straight up like eugenics in a way.
00:20:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:12
Speaker
To be honest though, bro, it isn't even just conservative men who are bothered about child-free women.
00:20:17
Speaker
Like I've had some of my friends, boyfriends, and I've said, actually, I don't think having kids is for me.
00:20:22
Speaker
I'm going to pass.
00:20:23
Speaker
They get really like, isn't offended, but they're questioning why.
00:20:27
Speaker
And I'm just like, it's none of your business.
00:20:29
Speaker
They're like, oh, you should have kids.
00:20:30
Speaker
You've got good genes to pass down.
00:20:32
Speaker
I'm like, fuck off.
00:20:34
Speaker
I don't want them.
00:20:35
Speaker
Why do you care?
00:20:37
Speaker
Why do you care so much?
00:20:38
Speaker
I mean, so I don't even think it's a conservative man thing.
00:20:42
Speaker
I just think it's a male thing as well.
00:20:44
Speaker
Like, because ultimately I think deep down subconsciously men see a woman's duty is to have kids.
00:20:54
Speaker
And if she doesn't want to do that, they think that there is something, you know, for example, fundamentally wrong with her or that she must be deeply unhappy.
00:21:01
Speaker
They can't wait to sign us up for the motherhood martyrdom role.
00:21:04
Speaker
Well, yeah.
00:21:05
Speaker
And also, you know, no disrespect to people who obviously there are some people who really, really struggle with fertility, but generally speaking, getting pregnant, even as a single woman, isn't difficult.
00:21:16
Speaker
Like if I wanted a child, I could just go on Tinder and just
Feminist Perspectives on Reproductive Choice
00:21:20
Speaker
since most men are pro bareback now anyway, and just have a kid that way.
00:21:24
Speaker
Like it's not difficult.
00:21:26
Speaker
Yeah, there's no shortage of sperm.
00:21:28
Speaker
I made this point on Twitter as well with Chelsea Handler is that she's extremely wealthy.
00:21:33
Speaker
If she wanted to, she could get the best in vitro fertilization money can buy and she can adopt.
00:21:40
Speaker
Like there's so many options that she actually had if she wanted to have children.
00:21:45
Speaker
Yeah, so many options.
00:21:47
Speaker
And yet she doesn't.
00:21:48
Speaker
For whatever reason, they keep trying to make it seem as if this wasn't really her choice and she's not really happy.
00:21:54
Speaker
And I'm like, she, of all people, of all people, has the most options to get a child if she wanted a child.
00:22:01
Speaker
given her wealth and influence.
00:22:03
Speaker
So to kind of address that point, they think she's lying about being happy without children and leading women astray.
00:22:10
Speaker
I think a lot of men can't.
00:22:11
Speaker
I'm so serious.
00:22:12
Speaker
This is actually their major argument that they think like, oh, these feminists are going to be misled.
00:22:15
Speaker
Leading women astray.
00:22:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:17
Speaker
Right.
00:22:18
Speaker
The thing about it is that like for a lot of women, it's such a personal choice.
00:22:22
Speaker
And so they scour the internet for all of these women who regret not having children.
00:22:26
Speaker
Like there's been a few women who have chose to not have children who have come out and said later, like, oh, I wish I actually had had children later on.
00:22:32
Speaker
But then there's a lot of women who don't.
00:22:33
Speaker
And there's a lot of regretful parents as well.
00:22:36
Speaker
But they seem to never like look at that side of the argument.
00:22:39
Speaker
And I think it's more devastating, you know, from a personal standpoint as well.
00:22:45
Speaker
I always, you know, rationalized it as I would rather, you know, not have kids and regret it than to have kids and regret it.
00:22:52
Speaker
Because at least in the former scenario, there are things I can do.
00:22:56
Speaker
So if I get to 60 and realize or, you know, 50s or 60 and realize actually...
00:23:01
Speaker
you know, I miss having a child, I could adopt, I could, you know, invest in my nieces and nephews or whatever.
00:23:07
Speaker
But if you have a kid, and you don't want it, because you can't undo a child, like even if you adopt, that child will still exist.
00:23:15
Speaker
So it's a choice that you can't really take back.
00:23:18
Speaker
And this is why, if you read things like Breaking Mom or Regretful Parents,
00:23:23
Speaker
It's a lot more devastating because you know that that decision, the decision to bring another human being into the world, you know, short of murder, which is illegal, it can't be reversed.
00:23:34
Speaker
And even if you murder them, they existed.
00:23:35
Speaker
Like that's still, do you know what I mean?
00:23:37
Speaker
It can't be reversed.
00:23:39
Speaker
Even if you murder your kids.
00:23:40
Speaker
Yeah, then you're going to spend time in prison.
00:23:42
Speaker
Well, yeah, and also they existed.
00:23:43
Speaker
You can't just, like, delete people.
00:23:45
Speaker
Like, you know, back in the days of the Bible when God just set the delete button.
00:23:50
Speaker
Like, they existed.
00:23:51
Speaker
They were a person.
00:23:52
Speaker
So, actually, I just think, like, if you're thinking about...
00:23:56
Speaker
I guess like the gravity of your decision, that was the decider for me is that even if I have a baby and give up for adoption or, you know, primarily looked after by my mum, which she offered, that doesn't change the fact that I brought a child into this world.
00:24:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:12
Speaker
So a lot of women just don't want to be pregnant.
00:24:13
Speaker
Sometimes it's not even about the child.
00:24:15
Speaker
The conservatives who think it's easy to just give your child up for adoption after you've had nine months of pregnancy.
00:24:20
Speaker
No, she doesn't want to be pregnant.
Challenges in Modern Motherhood
00:24:22
Speaker
And I think it's important to talk about that, that some women, they don't necessarily want to go through all the physiological changes that come along with pregnancy.
00:24:29
Speaker
And once again, that is their choice and their right.
00:24:32
Speaker
People still die.
00:24:34
Speaker
You know, pregnancy related complications are still a thing.
00:24:37
Speaker
And even in the US, I believe, like homicide is one of the leading causes of death for pregnant women.
00:24:43
Speaker
So even though pregnancy generally is a lot safer than it was 100 years ago, it's still not a risk free endeavour.
00:24:51
Speaker
Like you can still have complications.
00:24:53
Speaker
You can still die in childbirth.
00:24:55
Speaker
I know the childbirth rates in the UK are, if you are black in the UK, you are five times more likely to die in childbirth than a white woman.
00:25:03
Speaker
So there's such a complex interplay between, you know, where you live, your race, as to what pregnancy is actually like for you as well.
00:25:12
Speaker
Correct.
00:25:12
Speaker
So trying to push women into doing something that, you know, does come with risks out of some misguided assumption of whether or not that person will be happy with or without children is extremely crazy thing to do.
00:25:26
Speaker
But once again, because men feel entitled to women's bodies, they're worried about women not being dependent on them financially.
00:25:33
Speaker
And socially as well.
00:25:35
Speaker
And socially.
00:25:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:36
Speaker
or otherwise, socially or otherwise, yeah, economically especially, they don't like the idea that if they were to choose to have, if they want to take another bride, that there might not be women available for them.
00:25:51
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:52
Speaker
I'm serious.
00:25:52
Speaker
The more women who choose better, it's like there's less options.
00:25:55
Speaker
And I think for a lot of men, I think right now, let's be clear, the global population in the West is dropping.
Population Decline and Women's Choices
00:26:01
Speaker
And actually not even just the West, like places like Japan are having the same problem and in China,
00:26:06
Speaker
where the population is aging.
00:26:08
Speaker
Basically, any nation where women have access to birth control, especially if it's capitalist in any way, is suffering right now from women having less and less children by choice.
00:26:19
Speaker
And a lot of it has to do with, first of all, the extreme difficulty of motherhood for all the reasons we outlined socially, economically, mentally, everything that some women are choosing not to.
00:26:29
Speaker
Another part is like there are women who want children, but they can't afford more children because of the how much the wealth has been concentrated at the top.
00:26:37
Speaker
So there's women who do want children, but it's just too much.
00:26:40
Speaker
It's too expensive.
00:26:41
Speaker
It's too expensive.
00:26:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:43
Speaker
And then there's women who want children but can't find the right guy, right?
00:26:46
Speaker
They'd rather be child free than to attach themselves to a terrible man.
00:26:50
Speaker
And they're happy with that choice.
00:26:51
Speaker
I think that's a smart choice.
00:26:52
Speaker
That's a smart choice, to be honest.
00:26:54
Speaker
Yeah, they're happy with that choice.
00:26:56
Speaker
So basically, and we've actually done a couple of bonus episodes about what different governments are proposing or looking into because of the aging population, because they're afraid of
00:27:07
Speaker
The fact that there's going to be all these elderly people, especially if you have social benefits, that there won't be enough working people to pay into that system, as well as like basically overwhelming a lot of the health care services, etc, because of the elderly.
00:27:20
Speaker
And also, if you're in a capitalist society, if you have population collapse, then your things like the stock market will be affected because, you know, you can't bet on continuous growth in any continued sector if there's not a continuous growth of the population.
00:27:32
Speaker
So what they're scared of is that there's going to be massive collapse and that people's investments will go off a cliff, etc.
00:27:36
Speaker
It's all capitalist and sexist bullshit.
00:27:39
Speaker
To the point where like the Chinese government was trying to make a list of like all birthing age women in the country.
00:27:44
Speaker
This is a thing.
00:27:45
Speaker
Like they're really trying to find ways to like...
00:27:47
Speaker
subtly or overtly coerce women to having children.
00:27:51
Speaker
They were trying to ramp up some of the propaganda of calling a childless woman Christmas cake or unmarried and childless woman Christmas cakes, which is a derogatory term for women who didn't get married because it's implying that they were left out too long.
00:28:03
Speaker
So like if you leave a Christmas cake out like after Christmas, then I guess you're like a day old cake or something.
00:28:09
Speaker
It's just saying they've been on the shelf too long.
00:28:11
Speaker
I feel like as we progress into the reality and people are accepting the reality that less and less women are having children by choice because they truly in their heart don't want children or because the society has made it too difficult for them to successfully navigate having children.
00:28:25
Speaker
You're seeing this kind of propaganda really ramp up.
00:28:28
Speaker
It's coming from the conservative right mostly in the United States.
00:28:32
Speaker
But like all over the world, you're seeing the same things happening, right?
00:28:36
Speaker
Where like people are freaking out.
00:28:38
Speaker
Economists are freaking out.
00:28:39
Speaker
The government's freaking out.
00:28:40
Speaker
they're trying to figure out how they're going to coerce this into having more children without like alerting us that that's what they're doing and without it being doing everything, but actually making it enticing to have more children for women.
00:28:52
Speaker
Well, yeah, because ultimately the threats are,
00:28:55
Speaker
They're not going to work.
00:28:57
Speaker
And again, this just goes to show how these conservative men or men in general, they just see women as basically thoughtless broodmares because, you know, when an animal doesn't behave in the way that you want it to, what do you do?
00:29:10
Speaker
You threaten it.
Abortion, Birth Control, and Reproductive Rights
00:29:11
Speaker
You know, if you're trying to train a dog, you basically threaten it saying if you don't do this and you're not getting that.
00:29:15
Speaker
And this is what these men are trying to do, as opposed to actually trying to make having kids appealing.
00:29:21
Speaker
It's just like that episode that we did in the UK, where they were trying to address the reducing birth rate.
00:29:28
Speaker
The author spoke about everything except, you know, measures that would, you know, women and having children.
00:29:34
Speaker
You know, so things like, you know, making childcare cheaper, making the workplace more accessible, getting, you know, men to address their poor behaviour.
00:29:43
Speaker
So women will actually want to procreate with them.
00:29:45
Speaker
It just goes to show that they literally just see women as broodments who they can issue with threats if they don't behave in the way that they're expected to behave.
00:29:55
Speaker
Exactly.
00:29:55
Speaker
So it's getting a little bit concerning because you do wonder what's going to be the tipping point.
00:30:01
Speaker
And in the United States, obviously, it was the Supreme Court striking down Roe v. Wade and all of these different states who
00:30:08
Speaker
making a hodgepodge of laws banning abortion, right?
00:30:13
Speaker
You're already seeing these horror stories come out of out on Twitter and in the news about women who with children, they even wanted unable to get abortions.
00:30:20
Speaker
But it is going to be an interesting decade or two when we start to see like what happens between the states for which abortion has been outlawed versus states for abortion is still fully legal.
00:30:31
Speaker
But I think the push towards banning any type of abortion and then largely birth control, birth control is up next for a lot of the Republican legislators, is because of the fact that I think they're also keenly aware of the economic implications of population decline, as well as the social implications of them not being able to push women towards motherhood.
00:30:53
Speaker
So they're trying to find all these sneaky, underhanded ways to force women to start to have children again.
00:30:58
Speaker
So one of the things I find like really frustrating about this conversation too is like how much they demonize single mothers.
00:31:04
Speaker
Yes.
00:31:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:05
Speaker
So even though they're talking about getting rid of abortion and birth control care, they also have this really nasty disdain for whatever circumstance we're not able to maintain a relationship while having children, even if it was completely not their fault or their own.
00:31:20
Speaker
So like they have this like demonization of these women while they pretend that motherhood is the greatest gift a woman could ever ask for.
00:31:26
Speaker
While they also say every other week, they're saying hateful things towards single mothers on the timeline, right?
00:31:32
Speaker
It's like they're the reason why children are running wild or they're the reason why these like incel shooters are killing people.
00:31:38
Speaker
They have such a nasty antagonistic relationship towards most mothers while also claiming this is the greatest joy a woman could hope for.
00:31:45
Speaker
This is how you know it's not even about them thinking women should have fulfillment through children.
00:31:50
Speaker
They just want to control you.
00:31:52
Speaker
Because if they cared, they would be pro-social programs for single mothers or like corralling in men's behavior so that there are better husbands and fathers.
00:32:00
Speaker
And they spend most of their time demonizing and being pissed off at childless women or being pissed off at child-free women than they do actually addressing men's behavior and what makes them desirable husbands and fathers.
00:32:10
Speaker
It's just all misogyny.
00:32:12
Speaker
It's relentless misogyny.
00:32:14
Speaker
And I feel like any woman that listens to them is going to end up putting herself in a place to be rudely awaking when you realize that like it doesn't matter if you have all these children and all these types of things, they're still going to blame you for literally everything that should be a man's failure.
Economic Influences on Motherhood Decisions
00:32:27
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:32:28
Speaker
Because like the minute as well, these mothers are struggling.
00:32:31
Speaker
What do they say?
00:32:32
Speaker
Don't have kids if you can't afford them.
00:32:34
Speaker
Exactly.
00:32:35
Speaker
So it's like, you know, heads I win, tails you lose.
00:32:39
Speaker
Yeah, especially like Black and Latino mothers, right?
00:32:43
Speaker
I feel like there's been a lot of documentaries and studies about this, about how the drug war really devastated Black families in particular, where a lot of
00:32:53
Speaker
Fathers were put in jail, et cetera, for like minor drug crimes and created a generation of single mothers, which they turned around and called welfare queens.
00:33:00
Speaker
Right.
00:33:01
Speaker
Oh, my gosh.
00:33:02
Speaker
Yeah, it's really ugly in the US.
00:33:04
Speaker
There's such a really ugly history of having such a particularly nasty, antagonistic, disdainful view of women who find themselves without a partner.
00:33:15
Speaker
And it's like, they'll call you selfish because you had children at a time where you can't afford, like they don't actually think poor women should have children.
00:33:23
Speaker
And this is like, this is the most frustrating thing about it because as a person who grew up poor, I look around my circumstances and I was like, I mean, I had a lot of disdain for the men that probably would have been my options at that point, having experienced just cultural implications of having children with them.
00:33:38
Speaker
And so my whole like stick was like, yeah, I don't want to be a broke single mother.
00:33:41
Speaker
I don't want to have kids when I'm like 23, 24.
00:33:44
Speaker
I couldn't afford to have kids at that age.
00:33:46
Speaker
And so if I had had kids at that age, then they'd be looking at you like you're another nasty single mother statistic.
00:33:53
Speaker
And truthfully, none of the men my age, even if I dated four or five years older, were completely economically stable either.
00:33:59
Speaker
It was really, really hard for millennial people who grew up post economic crash to find like employment that was really steady, even if you had a college education, even if you had all these different trades, etc.
00:34:10
Speaker
Like it was just difficult.
00:34:11
Speaker
So even the guys who are close to my age and older, they weren't all financially stable either.
00:34:16
Speaker
Right.
00:34:17
Speaker
So, you know, we could have had these children and brought these children into the world and tried to make it work through all that.
00:34:22
Speaker
And then, you know, we would have been really, really struggling and wouldn't have been able for the children.
00:34:26
Speaker
And then people have been looking at you like, why don't you have children?
00:34:28
Speaker
But then let's say you wait until you're older to have children when you've got some financial stability, then it's all like, oh, well, you missed your boat.
00:34:36
Speaker
You're in the danger zone.
00:34:37
Speaker
You're undesirable because you're over 30.
00:34:40
Speaker
You know, you're not married.
00:34:41
Speaker
You don't have children, etc.
00:34:42
Speaker
And it's like, well, a lot of people could not afford realistically to get married or have children.
00:34:46
Speaker
until like much later than the previous generation.
00:34:50
Speaker
And on top of that, even if you went to school and everything right, then you could have economic devastation.
00:34:55
Speaker
Like you would have student loans, right?
00:34:56
Speaker
So you'd also have a lot of debt on top of trying to raise kids, on top of trying to move to wherever you could find a job.
00:35:02
Speaker
So the other thing is like, you had to move to where you could find a job.
00:35:05
Speaker
So if you couldn't find a job where you're at, like you had to migrate.
00:35:08
Speaker
So there's so many obstacles in the way of people who even wanted to get married and wanted to have children that it's kind of ridiculous to be
00:35:16
Speaker
so nasty towards people who chose not to when all of the circumstances surrounding it were pretty unfavorable unless you wanted to be destitute and struggling and constantly on food stamps and have housing instability, which is how I grew up and which I didn't want that for my kids.
00:35:30
Speaker
You know, I just, I don't get the absolute...
00:35:32
Speaker
I mean, I do get it.
00:35:33
Speaker
They're misogynist.
00:35:34
Speaker
They just hate women.
00:35:35
Speaker
Like the only rule of misogyny is women lose.
00:35:37
Speaker
But it just seems like it's counterproductive to at once claim that like motherhood is life's greatest gift and then treat women as if like do everything in your power to treat women who choose to have children and also end up maybe not in favorable circumstances like they're the worst human beings alive.
00:35:55
Speaker
It's just like you said, Rose, about men thinking in the short term here.
00:36:00
Speaker
In the short term, it might not benefit men to actually make provisions for women to have children or to provide for women with children who are struggling.
00:36:09
Speaker
But in the long term, they will benefit.
00:36:12
Speaker
probably massively, probably more so than the women they are choosing to lambast or to put down, you know, for not having children.
00:36:20
Speaker
Because like you rightfully said, not every woman who is child free actually wants to be child free.
00:36:25
Speaker
Some of them are child free because of economic reasons.
00:36:28
Speaker
primarily men, because, you know, they're the ones running these corporations, actually, you know, thought about things like giving paid parental leave, you know, making part-time work actually pay, then it would actually benefit them in the long run, as opposed to the birth rate continuing to decline, us having an eventual population crisis.
00:36:48
Speaker
And, you know, men's only arsenal or way to address that is just to threaten women with being cat ladies and spinsters if they don't have kids, because that's just not working anymore.
00:36:59
Speaker
It's not working.
Conservative Control Over Reproductive Choices
00:37:00
Speaker
And you can see women quite literally saying that all over social media, like the old ways of shaming women into having children is not working.
00:37:07
Speaker
And you can see and I think this is maybe like the extinction burst of that conservative argument, because you can see even among conservatives.
00:37:14
Speaker
What's interesting is like the biggest, like almost openly misogynist groats are on the anti child free movement.
00:37:20
Speaker
But when you look at most of the people that are rage posting in the comments underneath this Chelsea Handler video, it's overwhelmingly men who don't know the burden of pregnancy and childbirth.
00:37:30
Speaker
They like think, oh, well, seeing my child smile is the greatest thing that could ever happen to me.
00:37:34
Speaker
And I'm like, that's great for you because you're basically a glorified babysitter.
00:37:38
Speaker
You don't have to do the work of motherhood, which is intense.
00:37:42
Speaker
That's even if he's babysitting, a lot of them don't even do that.
00:37:45
Speaker
Right, exactly.
00:37:47
Speaker
It's just a glorified observer, the glorified sperm donor.
00:37:52
Speaker
Passive observer in their child's life.
00:37:54
Speaker
How a lot of our fathers were, even if they were trying to be good fathers, like a lot of them, you know, most people come from two parent homes, etc.
00:38:02
Speaker
And most, the vast majority of the parenting work, especially for children, like young children, falls on women.
00:38:08
Speaker
So a lot of men think this is a joy because they don't have to do the hard work of actually raising children.
00:38:13
Speaker
And I can say as a person myself, a person that like part of the reason I didn't have children young is because I'm the oldest daughter out of all of my siblings, which created a lot of burden on me as a child.
00:38:24
Speaker
And so like, that's why I think they're all full of shit about how joyful it is to raise kids.
00:38:28
Speaker
Now, granted, maybe I would like feel a little bit differently with my own kids and I had not had the type of child that I had.
00:38:34
Speaker
But I have like, I love my siblings, but I basically raised them.
00:38:37
Speaker
Right.
00:38:37
Speaker
So I already know that it's a lot of fucking work.
00:38:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:41
Speaker
Parentified.
00:38:42
Speaker
Yes.
00:38:43
Speaker
A lot of work.
00:38:44
Speaker
And so anybody acting like it's a 24-7 joyride.
00:38:47
Speaker
And this is like me liking my siblings.
00:38:49
Speaker
I have a pretty good relationship with most of them most of the time.
00:38:53
Speaker
So through all of that, and even though I wasn't like solely responsible for financial support, given like, you know, I also still had to do like partial financial support at some points because my mother was struggling.
00:39:04
Speaker
So it's like when they talk about this as if like it's just this 24-7 like jory ride, I'm like, then you're not actually parenting because the day-to-day reality of parenting or even just babysitting and being a surrogate parent like I was like is a grind, right?
00:39:18
Speaker
Like it's not like you don't have a lot of freedom.
00:39:21
Speaker
You damn sure wouldn't have that much freedom to be like on Twitter, like harassing child free women.
00:39:26
Speaker
And it just like, it takes so much for planning and thought and concern.
00:39:29
Speaker
Like, I mean, it's just helping your kids with their homework.
00:39:31
Speaker
You know what I didn't hear?
00:39:32
Speaker
And all of this stuff here was like the daily grind of helping their kids with their homework, planning out their meals.
00:39:38
Speaker
So they're not like starving and looking at like the budgeting in the household, like all of the things that go into feeding, caring and nurturing a child.
00:39:47
Speaker
I don't see any of this.
00:39:48
Speaker
It's all like my children's smile, my children's laughs.
00:39:50
Speaker
I'm like, are you just doing the fun shit of parenting and not like the shitty crappy parts?
00:39:55
Speaker
Well, yeah, honestly, like the only man I'll believe who actually says they enjoy like parenting is my dad, because growing up, he did more of the active parenting than my mum, because my mum had a lot of health issues.
00:40:07
Speaker
She had like five pregnancies in six years, which basically completely, completely wrecked her body with, you know, cesarean sections and all that jazz.
00:40:15
Speaker
So my dad basically did everything from, we didn't have a washing machine, so we'd wash all our clothes by hand.
00:40:20
Speaker
So you can imagine four young children, he'd take us to school,
00:40:24
Speaker
He went to all our parents' evenings.
00:40:26
Speaker
He took us to all our doctor's appointments.
Unequal Parenting Roles
00:40:28
Speaker
He was very much an active parent.
00:40:30
Speaker
And again, this is contributing to the reason why I wouldn't want to have kids is because I don't think I'll meet such a man who's willing to do that.
00:40:38
Speaker
Again, bearing in mind my dad came, he grew up in Nigeria where...
00:40:42
Speaker
It's one of the most misogynistic cultures, I would say.
00:40:46
Speaker
And even when his friends would come over and he would be cooking, they would be saying, why are you doing the cooking when your wife's there?
00:40:52
Speaker
And they would actually fall out over it.
00:40:54
Speaker
So he was shamed by his friends for doing it.
00:40:57
Speaker
And I just don't see another man being willing to actually step up for his kids the way my dad did.
00:41:03
Speaker
I just don't see it happening.
00:41:04
Speaker
Yeah, I know for a fact my father, my stepfather never did none of that.
00:41:07
Speaker
Like my stepfather would eat all the fruit snacks in the house and then fall asleep.
00:41:10
Speaker
So then like he would eat the fruit snacks out of our lunchbox that I would make and then like fall asleep.
00:41:15
Speaker
So like realistically, I'm laughing through my trauma.
00:41:19
Speaker
But
00:41:19
Speaker
But realistically, like part of the reason why a lot of women and I can say this is true for myself, or at least delaying having children is because of the fact that if you may not have even had your own childhood, because the men in your life, this via the father or the stepfather were so fucking useless outside of like being a sperm donor and maybe an extra check.
00:41:40
Speaker
And that's why like the divorce rate exploded, especially in the boomer set, especially when they started to have no fault divorce, because it became very clear that a lot of men were just adult children freeloaders that were actually making things actively worse for both the mother and their children's lives.
00:41:54
Speaker
So it's just kind of rich watching men like try to shame women into doing this job that like they are not very good at doing at all as a cohort.
00:42:02
Speaker
That's what kills me about it.
00:42:03
Speaker
Like they want motherhood for women, but like they couldn't be mothers.
00:42:06
Speaker
Like they can't even do like half the work as a group that your average mother is expected to put in.
00:42:11
Speaker
Like excluding pregnancy, like let's just pretend that like pregnancy wasn't a thing and that both men and women started from zero when it came to bring in a new child.
00:42:20
Speaker
Let's say you just adopt a child.
00:42:21
Speaker
And so a woman doesn't have to have like go through the pregnancy.
00:42:24
Speaker
There is no way that men on a group level, in fact, they've done study after study to say this is the absolute truth, that there's no way that men are putting in a fraction of the time in caretaking of children that women
Equality and Parenting in Relationships
00:42:38
Speaker
are.
00:42:38
Speaker
So like they
00:42:39
Speaker
just have no idea how hard this job is like just genuinely so they can wish it on us and say we need to do it and then talk about how joyful it is for them because like they basically get to flit in and flit out and do all the fun parts of parenting and you know be like weekend disney dad and then ignore all of the other stuff about like me and basically make the mom be the bad guy because she has to do all of the work of raising the kids and making the unpopular decisions about like their upbringing and the things they need to do
00:43:05
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's just stuff like that where you just know men just have no idea the weight of this actual job because they're not actually that invested in doing it themselves.
00:43:14
Speaker
And I think sometimes actually these like leftist men can be even worse than conservatives because they go down the whole like 50-50 thing in the family.
00:43:23
Speaker
And it's like, I mean, first of all, a woman in a relationship is almost always, you know, contributing, you know, for example, more than 50-50.
00:43:31
Speaker
But the minute a woman is pregnant and has kids...
00:43:36
Speaker
you need to almost forget the 50-50 split.
00:43:39
Speaker
But these men will still maintain it because they still think it's fair.
00:43:42
Speaker
Well, it's absolutely not fair.
00:43:44
Speaker
If you're talking about the division of, you know, childhood labour and you want to do 50-50, it really ends up being 80-20 and the woman is doing the 80% of it.
00:43:55
Speaker
They just don't see this whole like equality.
00:43:58
Speaker
And this is part of the reason why, again, I say trying to be equal with men, especially if you want to have kids is pointless.
00:44:04
Speaker
You need to be looking for equity.
00:44:06
Speaker
And equity means everybody gets the resources that they need to get to where they need to be.
00:44:11
Speaker
So if it means that the man is, you know, if he's cooking the dinner and he's, you know, working nine to five outside the house, that's fair.
00:44:19
Speaker
It isn't about looking for equality in terms of input, because women, especially if you were going to have kids in the man, you will lose every single time.
00:44:28
Speaker
And there are studies on...
00:44:30
Speaker
There aren't studies.
00:44:31
Speaker
I say like Reddit is like some giant human psychological study.
00:44:34
Speaker
You know, psychologists of old would just see it as like the perfect scientific experiment into human depravity and behavior.
00:44:40
Speaker
I've seen it where on Reddit, a woman is in a relationship with a man and they've been doing 50-50.
00:44:46
Speaker
And that 50-50 continues even when she's pregnant.
00:44:49
Speaker
So when she's not working, she's expected to contribute 50-50.
00:44:52
Speaker
The guy will refuse to pay for anything related to the pregnancy because he sees that as that's your medical bill because you're the one who's pregnant.
00:45:01
Speaker
that's where it ends up.
00:45:02
Speaker
But yeah, I just also feel like we talk about conservative men and we're dragging them, but equally women should also be cautious of the leftist men who are all about equality and, you know, let's split it down the middle because you will find yourself equally disadvantaged in that relationship as well.
00:45:17
Speaker
Yeah.
Conservative Women's Struggles
00:45:18
Speaker
I mean, as a conservative men, just think it's your role by birth that you should do these things.
00:45:22
Speaker
I mean, at least they're honest about it.
00:45:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:25
Speaker
They're upfront.
00:45:26
Speaker
At least they're honest.
00:45:29
Speaker
Liberal men will say that, oh, no, I think we should be equal and then passive aggressively still make you adhere to gender roles.
00:45:35
Speaker
You're so doing all the work.
00:45:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:38
Speaker
So through passive aggression and strategic forgetfulness.
00:45:43
Speaker
So I think conservative women in particular, maybe not like card carrying like Republicans, but any type of culture that's conservative where they, quote, celebrate motherhood, what they celebrate really is the martyrdom of motherhood.
00:45:57
Speaker
And a lot of women can fall into this trap where they, you know, they're like, I sacrifice everything for my kids.
00:46:02
Speaker
And like, they want to be recognized for that.
00:46:04
Speaker
And then find often instead of that recognition, they find just demonization from these same people.
00:46:09
Speaker
Right.
00:46:09
Speaker
It's such a sad thing.
00:46:10
Speaker
And so I'm, I'm kind of like low key upset because I feel like you see this over and over where, you know, I'm a proud single mother.
00:46:16
Speaker
I do this and I do that.
00:46:18
Speaker
And it's like, I think, yes, like they do a lot of difficult things, but when you listen to the manosphere, they're so nasty and disdainful of women like that.
00:46:25
Speaker
Like,
00:46:26
Speaker
Oh, well, no one told you to have kids or like you don't get a badge for like raising your kids or like women are always patting themselves on the back for being mothers.
00:46:33
Speaker
Like Bill Burr does a really infamous bit about this.
00:46:35
Speaker
Like he's a comedian about like how being a mother is not that hard, et cetera, et cetera.
00:46:40
Speaker
So it's like this is
Recognition and Support for Motherhood
00:46:41
Speaker
a cult.
00:46:41
Speaker
that actually, you know, women do a lot of this unseen, unpaid work at this end.
00:46:47
Speaker
They end up in this trap of like feeling like they're being martyrs for this cause that they're never rewarded for.
00:46:53
Speaker
And you can like see sort of the like sadness and depression that sets in when you realize that like,
00:46:59
Speaker
It could be meaningful to your children, but it may not be because they may not always completely understand or grasp it, especially if they're young, like how things work.
00:47:06
Speaker
So like if you're looking for gratitude from your children, like you may not get it ever.
00:47:10
Speaker
Or like hopefully you get it when you're older, if you were a good mom.
00:47:12
Speaker
But when they're young, they're not gonna have any fucking clue like how difficult it is to pay bills, et cetera.
00:47:17
Speaker
Even if you try to tell them and they might be sensitive to it, but it is still hard for children to grasp that.
00:47:22
Speaker
And then when it comes to society, society pretty much ignores or demonizes women like this.
00:47:28
Speaker
I just find the entire thing ridiculous for them to be doing this.
00:47:32
Speaker
I actually think they're leading women astray as much as they're talking about Chelsea Handler is.
00:47:37
Speaker
100%.
00:47:38
Speaker
To be on the motherhood martyr track where women have children that they may or may not want or they have children that they may or may not can't afford or with men that...
00:47:50
Speaker
aren't good fathers or they think are good fathers and then prove themselves later, you know, that they aren't or get blindsided, all sorts of reasons that women end up not having the children's father in their life.
00:48:00
Speaker
And then they feel like rightfully like they should get some kind of acknowledgement for these types of sacrifices that they make.
00:48:07
Speaker
And it's not coming because people just see this as like women's work and women's unpaid labor.
00:48:11
Speaker
And so I feel like it's really important for women to start like strategically demanding value, both individually from the men that they have children with, but also on a societal level for all of this unpaid work and creating the labor force and raising their children.
00:48:27
Speaker
And it's become so deeply disrespected while these guys pretend like they're trying to protect motherhood.
00:48:32
Speaker
They're so full of shit.
00:48:33
Speaker
They're so full of shit.
00:48:35
Speaker
Like they don't spend any, they don't spend half the time trying to raise men into decent husbands and fathers they do as demonizing women and single mothers.
00:48:43
Speaker
Like as they do child free women and single mothers.
00:48:46
Speaker
So they just hate women.
00:48:48
Speaker
I'm so tired of the fucking con.
00:48:50
Speaker
I'm so tired of the con of pretending like you're trying to protect life and pretending like you're trying to protect motherhood.
00:48:56
Speaker
And then you do everything in your power to make it as difficult as fucking possible.
00:49:00
Speaker
You're full of shit.
00:49:01
Speaker
Mic drop.
00:49:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:04
Speaker
they're also just going to have to come to terms with the fact that it is likely that the number of women who are child free will increase because as women become more aware of male depravity slash and beginning to feel the effects of the economic downturn, the problem is only going to get worse.
00:49:20
Speaker
And the threats of being alone with a cat actually don't seem, you know, that bad of an idea, especially when it's better to be alone with a cat than to be with most men.
00:49:32
Speaker
Let's be real.
00:49:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:34
Speaker
Even conservative women are like are on that train right now.
00:49:37
Speaker
That's the irony.
00:49:38
Speaker
When you look under and except for the women who are like the extreme commentators, you don't see barely any like regular everyday women even commenting on this thread, like mad at Chelsea Handler for not having kids.
00:49:49
Speaker
Like, I actually think the silence coming from a lot of conservative women regarding this is actually more telling than all these like rage posts from men.
00:49:57
Speaker
So I feel like even if they're not on the same page, like politically as Chelsea Handler, I almost feel like there's this silent, there's a silent women's war that's going on.
00:50:05
Speaker
That's pretty much like a political as they recalibrate the deal they're getting for having families with men and realizing they're getting fucked.
00:50:13
Speaker
And getting fucked and like not even getting like, you know, the social recognition or loving support.
00:50:19
Speaker
Like I can say this is yet another reason why I left the church is like churches full of single mothers.
00:50:24
Speaker
And in particular, I think it's because of how much social services and social support that other mothers will provide.
00:50:32
Speaker
But I know like so many of the pastors and stuff will be up there like saying all sorts of like denigrating things about women while most of their support groups and biggest supporters, donators, etc.
00:50:44
Speaker
are women and specifically mothers.
00:50:46
Speaker
So it's like I feel like even among conservative women who are Christian and really believe in like, you know, be fruitful and multiply and all these types of things like they're kind of waking up to the con.
00:50:55
Speaker
of men having all this lip service for how great motherhood is and how respected they are and how great their position is in society while not providing any tangible support or rewards for it like i feel like something's got to give here i'm of the opinion we have too many goddamn humans in the first place i'm not i think it's good that some that our population is probably going to reduce because we had an explosion of population in the last century to the point where we may not be able to sustain it on the planet quite frankly
00:51:20
Speaker
And that's the elephant in the room that we might have too many human beings to sustain on the planet.
00:51:24
Speaker
Like scientists think we can only realistically support maybe 9 billion people.
00:51:28
Speaker
And we're already like 7.7, 7.8 billion people.
00:51:31
Speaker
So, you know, the population reducing is overall is not a bad thing, even if the reasons why it's happening are not necessarily great in an individual level.
00:51:41
Speaker
Or they are great.
00:51:41
Speaker
Meeting a woman is just happier without it.
00:51:43
Speaker
So, yeah.
Final Remarks on Women's Autonomy
00:51:45
Speaker
So that's it.
00:51:47
Speaker
Dime mad skirts.
00:51:50
Speaker
Anyways, that's our little rant about Chelsea Handler and the child-free movement and the conservative backlash.
00:51:56
Speaker
Feel free to discuss this episode with us.
00:51:59
Speaker
Check us out on the website, thefemaledatingstrategy.com, where you can discuss this on the forum.
00:52:05
Speaker
Also, check out our weekly bonus content on patreon.com forward slash thefemaledatingstrategy.
00:52:10
Speaker
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00:52:14
Speaker
Also, you can...
00:52:15
Speaker
Access the Discord if you're a verified member of the website.
00:52:18
Speaker
So you can look for instructions there.
00:52:20
Speaker
Also follow us on Twitter at femdatstrat and on our Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
00:52:26
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
00:52:27
Speaker
And for all you scrapes out there, our wombs will never be your domain.
00:52:31
Speaker
So die mad.
00:52:32
Speaker
Die mad.
00:52:33
Speaker
See y'all next week.