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What’s a city in New Hampshire? image

What’s a city in New Hampshire?

E108 · History Defeats Itself
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387 Plays2 years ago

Greg wants you to be safe. It’s one of his missions in doing this podcast. That’s why this episode is dedicated to the history and innovation of the seatbelt. Join us as we discuss the origins of the simple yet vital apparatus that saves lives all the time. Plus, we ponder whether New Hampshire has cities or if it’s just woodlands. Man, we’re just not very bright.

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Transcript

Jon's Beard vs. AI & 3D Printing: A Humorous Comparison

00:00:00
Speaker
That's right. And Jon's beard. You can't AI that beard. You cannot. Although you can 3D print it. Yep, yep. I've got beard. Jon's beard's out of toner. It definitely needs the black ink cartridge, that's for sure. That's so expensive though. It runs out all the time.

Introducing 'History Defeats Itself' Podcast

00:00:36
Speaker
History Defeats Itself is a comedy podcast. Kevin, John, and Greg are not experts, historians, or even all that smart.
00:00:49
Speaker
Welcome to History Defeats Itself, a comedy podcast that wonders, why do we never learn from our history? My name is Kevin Rosenquist, and as always, I am joined by my co-hosts, two men who have never had to pay hush money payments, John, Greg. How are you guys? You don't know. It's true. You don't know. Paying each other for it is not the same.
00:01:15
Speaker
That is like dragging money. Hey, John, go put this online. It's just foreplay. That's all it is. Yeah. How are you guys?
00:01:26
Speaker
Good. How are you doing? Good. Can I complain? Good. Great. Great. Okay. Everyone's great.

Burnt Toast and Health Warnings: Humor Meets Seriousness

00:01:30
Speaker
Good. Good. I am smelling, I will say this, I'm smelling burnt toast and there's no toast going. So just in case if I pass out fall, call 911. Something's weird is happening in my sign of stuff. Here, what I'm going to do is I'm going to dial 911 and just let me know if there's a problem. Okay. Well, you'll know because, because I won't make any sense. So she called probably now.
00:01:51
Speaker
Greg, is John cooking toast, you think? It might be. That's making me hungry, though. Go for some pork toast. John, I keep telling you, don't store your bread in the oven and then turn it on when you're cold. Well, that's just how you warm the oven up. Also, don't have strokes. Not having strokes is the deal? You're making me, my episode, really start out with a real on a down note. Thanks, John. People love toast.
00:02:20
Speaker
Okay. And they love carbon monoxide poisoning. Let's get going, boys. All right, yes. We're on YouTube. We're on Instagram. We are other places. You are not selling anything. We're not believing anything you're saying. We're places. If you want to find us, we're places.
00:02:39
Speaker
Turn on your device and click on the square that's on one of the four. Just say, you know, Hey Google, Google, Hey Siri, whatever you want to do and just ask for Kevin, John and Greg and you'll get us. Yeah. History defeats itself at main cabin. Vermont, Vermont, Vermont. Oh, Vermont. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Right next to the Vermont country store. Right. Cause Vermont is for lovers. It is. It is. You know, my sister lives in Vermont. Maybe she could, she could scout out some cabins for us.
00:03:09
Speaker
Not a bad idea. I mean, with those three dinks. I don't want to live in a haunted cabin, so it'd be nice if she gets something kind of... I don't know, are any of them not haunted? I think you guys are confusing ghosts with cold air. Just the cold. It's haunted with a chill. Yeah, it's just cold. Greg's like, this place is haunted, Greg. I keep telling you, it's just below 80 degrees. It's my mom's worst nightmare.
00:03:39
Speaker
All right, shortest intro ever. Greg, it's your turn, buddy. Let's do this.

The 'Whiplash' Effect: Film Discussion & Seatbelt Importance

00:03:44
Speaker
My HDI brothers. You can deposit a question. Have either of you ever been sitting in or on something that was moving and then it came to an abrupt stop and you did not?
00:04:02
Speaker
Maybe you followed the laws of physics and went head first through a windshield, only we told that you would no longer be able to play the drums for JK Simmons. Oh, wait, that was the movie Whiplash. Did you guys ever see Whiplash? I did, yes. I have not. I have not. I heard it was really good. Part of it for you, but it's a good movie. It is a good, very good movie. I thought it was very good, yeah. It's pretty intense, huh? Very intense. It's not one I would ever watch again, I don't think. No, that's why I haven't watched it. That's a one time movie. Yeah.
00:04:33
Speaker
If only there was some form of restraint that could be used to prevent you from a concussion or decapitation.

Why Seatbelts? Greg's Comical Introduction

00:04:40
Speaker
Do I have a surprise for you? There's something called the seatbelt!
00:04:45
Speaker
And today, we'll be discussing the nutty origin and amazing facts of this sometimes life-saving or life-prolonging device. Seatbelts, you heard me right. It's come to this. Seatbelts of all the things on the internet. Which, by the way, contains everything that's ever been and everything that ever will be. Seatbelts. I landed on seatbelts. What do you want to talk about? Seatbelts. I'm getting fired, huh, guys? Quick question. Seatbelts.
00:05:14
Speaker
I'm confused on what the topic is, but John, go ahead. Well... No, I got nothing. I got nothing. Dude, were you already planning on a seatbelt episode? No, I've already done one. Yeah, he did one already. Fuck. You're doing it on safety, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but seatbelts are kind of different. You're right. They're not safe. No, this is going to be the shortest episode ever.
00:05:40
Speaker
You're gonna be like refer to episode 47. Everybody. Next Wednesday it's gonna be... We were not able to provide an episode this week. We apologize for any inconvenience. We did that once when I did an episode about Black Lives Matter and we never aired it. No, that was supposed to be a special episode, right? Yeah, I think so. We've only missed one episode so far and that was when I popped my lung.
00:06:09
Speaker
I know, you were such a little bitch about that. I know, I really was. Just baby. I'm in a hospital bed and can't breathe. Can you guys figure out how to record? No, Kevin.

Seatbelts vs. Helmet Laws: Legal Requirements & Choices

00:06:19
Speaker
You didn't, so. We did not. I sneezed through my belly button now. For Kevin. Every time he goes to sneeze, he's got to put a finger over the hole.
00:06:32
Speaker
Yeah, girls, my guts would come out. Wow, lung punctures are terrible. It's a lot different than you think. Jennifer, did I tell you when Jennifer had a baby? She had a C-section and they took her guts out? Yeah, you did not tell me, but I know how a C-section works and that's disgusting. Were you there? Did you watch?
00:06:51
Speaker
Yeah, I watched. Oh, I couldn't do that. I almost grew up on her guts when they were outside of her body. I couldn't do that. I couldn't watch that. I would have passed out immediately. Well, I was like trying to focus on my wife because, you know, she was she didn't know what was going on. They had the big curtain up for good reason. And she goes, hey, take a peek over the curtain and see if they started yet. I'm like, OK, babe, I'll be right back. And I look over the corner now.
00:07:16
Speaker
and they had started and things that were just inside of her body a moment ago, only a moment ago, were now outside of her body. And I didn't like that. No, I could never work in an ER or be like an EMT guy or anything like that. Well, first of all, you would constantly be complaining about the temperature. Yes.
00:07:37
Speaker
In the van? I think they call it an ambulance. They call it a wambulance for me. In the middle of CPR, he's gonna stop putting on a sweater and then start going again and they get hot and take it off. You're supposed to keep doing the compressions. I am so hot. It's freezing right now. This pace seemed a little faster, you guys. I'm getting tired. Do you know the pace you're supposed to do? Staying alive. Staying alive, yeah.
00:08:06
Speaker
Every internet. It also makes saving a life fun. Isn't saving a life fun because of the joy you felt for saving another human being? Yeah. No, it's because you're saving John Charles' life. That's true. It's because you're singing the Bee Gees. Anyway, let's go back to our riveting episode on seat belts. It's going to be riveting, get it? It's going to be a little tie down.
00:08:36
Speaker
Terrible in case you've never been in a car on an airplane or ridden a roller coaster a seat belt is composed primarily of woven nylon or nick or licorice with a thinking on one end and a Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, licorice. Yeah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa woven nylon
00:08:59
Speaker
Just making up words. Yeah, seriously nylon. They're not making that out of pantyhose Sure, they are when you put the thingy in the buckle. It makes a cool locking sound as it fastens Wait, I'm how come you're not doing like a are you guys ready for this podcast buckle up? I feel like that would have been a good job He put this he put this together about 40 minutes ago
00:09:24
Speaker
No, I wasn't 40. Nope. He's currently reading the Wikipedia page. You think Wikipedia

Seatbelt Statistics: Humor & Safety Concerns

00:09:34
Speaker
wrote this? I fucking wrote this. He's like looking around his car coming home and he's like, that's terrible. Now I can't do what else? Radio? No, not the radio. What do I see? Seat belt. Oh, cars. Shit, we did that already.
00:09:51
Speaker
My taxes done Let's see, I mean that was a lot of anxiety right now damn it Cuz I gotta get my episode done. So I'm okay. What else have we done? Death penalty, this is like the hundredth 108th episode so we could just keep going with that if you want topics that'll kill them kill some time We reached the end of the rainbow guys
00:10:19
Speaker
I actually did a lot of research on this. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was just the licorice thing did. I'm surprised. You're surprised that see pizza made her licorice. Yeah.
00:10:29
Speaker
I am. By the way, licorice used to be my dad's favorite candy, like black licorice. It's the most disgusting fucking thing ever. I feel like he was just trying to be an asshole. Anybody that ever eats licorice and they're black licorice anyway, they're like, you know what? They're trying to act tough. Your attention seeking. I don't think they're happy people. They like to suffer.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's like life suffers, so your candy must suffer as well. Yeah. You can't have happiness from candy. No. Who the fuck likes that flavor? I don't know. But I mean, I don't know. You use star anise and stuff, and that's got a black licorice flavor. And people drink jager, and that has a black licorice flavor. Their stuff is? I mean, psychos drink jager, but there are people who drink it. Young people. Damn it, I was in the middle of a paragraph where I was like ranting, and I had a few more sentences. Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
00:11:23
Speaker
Apologize that's okay. You should like licorice. You can't just throw that in there like guys. I got a fancy Sorry, you're right the licorice nice Okay, guys you're gonna get a writing credit on this episode
00:11:38
Speaker
When you put the thingy in the buckle, it makes a cool locking sound as that fastens just below your fat stomach that you keep telling yourself you'll take to the gym and burn off, but you never do. You just cry into a bag of sour cream and onion wavy lays and hope that maybe, just maybe, you'll drive off a cliff.
00:11:56
Speaker
Jesus. That could be dark. Weird. You know what you should not do for a living, Greg? What? Suicide hotline. That's not something you should feel. Yeah, I don't think you should be like a hostage negotiator or talking someone down or any of that stuff. Like a school counselor. Can you make a living on a suicide hotline? I thought it was just volunteers. You shouldn't volunteer. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, just don't do it. Just avoid it altogether.
00:12:19
Speaker
Avoid anywhere where you could change your lives in any way. Okay, well now comes the part where I say, so buckle up. That's timeline, defeating ourselves, and get the fuck out of here. I just added that last part because you guys are pissing me off. That's called improv-ing. You already went through page one? Yes, and? You wrote it really big this time, huh?
00:12:48
Speaker
Hey, do you remember when we were discussing earlier that we weren't going to quit the podcast? No, no, I said you can't quit the podcast. Uh, headphones going down. Um, okay, guys. Well, I mean, well, honestly though, like you, you could, it'd be weird if you quit right in the middle of this, but I would quit. I could quit Kevin can't quit. We've proven that when he punctured his lung, he can't quit us. No, he can't.
00:13:16
Speaker
I finally knew, I finally understand what that line meant. He was talking about podcasts. It wasn't Dick? I don't think it was Dick. It was a podcast. Was he? Okay. God, if I liked Dick, I wouldn't be able to quit it either.
00:13:31
Speaker
Well, you have an ever-ending supply of it. That's true, because dudes are horny. Dudes are very horny.

The Invention of Seatbelts: From 1800s Racing to Today

00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah. I think I have a friend who's gay. We went to a... You think you have a friend that's gay? I think I told you the story, but...
00:13:47
Speaker
I can't tell if that means he thinks he has a friend or he thinks he's gay. Which part are you thinking about? I was with my gay friend but I think I told you the story and we were at a bar and there was like a group of us and we were talking and he just kind of disappeared for like 20 minutes and then he came back.
00:14:03
Speaker
You know, it was like, would you guys add sex in the bathroom? I'm like, what? Like, how's that fair, Dan? I'm in an open relationship. I can fuck anyone I want! Any time I want without permission. What did you need permission? There's permission. That's not how it works. He's not even going to try anymore. He's just over it. There are guidelines, fellas. How many times do I have to tell you about my semi-charmed kind of life?
00:14:33
Speaker
That's true. Wasn't that a bad 90, son? Or a good one. Depends on how you got it. I thought I was going along. No? OK. It's called nostalgia. Guys, today, nationwide use of seatbelts is approximately 92%. How do you feel when you get in a car and don't put on your seatbelt? Feels weird. I feel naked. Yeah. I also feel when I'm driving, I feel 92% safe. I'll ask you this, though.
00:15:01
Speaker
And maybe you're going to get into this, Greg. I don't know. But do you guys think it should be a law that you have to wear your seatbelt? Yes. Yes. Why? And I'll tell you why. Yeah. Let me hear it. Because potentially you not wearing a seatbelt is going to make your corpse super ugly for the EMTs that come out to scrape you off the road. And they don't need that. John, how about you? You stay within the confines of the car.
00:15:28
Speaker
We may have talked about this on the podcast before. Well, cause it saves lives, right? And it needed like the, but why is it a law? Why can't I'd make the decision? You don't have to wear a helmet in a lot of places. If you're wearing a motorcycle, if you're riding, I'll tell you why, I'll tell you why.
00:15:40
Speaker
I actually have an answer to this. Okay. It's not, it's not going to be the, it's not the pavement thing. It's not your corpse. You know, it's because you could potentially get into a wreck where if you're not wearing your seatbelt, you could be forced into the other side of the car and you could have prevented more damage if you would have been forced to stay in your driver's seat. You mean like if you would have hit the passenger is what you're saying? Yeah, you're right. No.
00:16:05
Speaker
What are you talking about then? Okay, I'm talking about if you're in the driver's seat, you're driving along, and say you're driving in like one of those fucking 1982 Oldsmobiles with a big front-bent seat, and then you get fucking, as you're driving along, you get kind of pushed to the side, and then it throws your body to the passenger side of the car, because it will bring your seatbelt. So rather than being able to control the car, you just flew on the other side, and now the car... Yeah, now you can control the car, because you're not in England. But if you're wearing a seatbelt, and you still have the steering wheel, you can control the car.
00:16:32
Speaker
That's your reason? No, that was Greg's reason, but I like it. I hopped on. And I got lost for a minute. I thought we were talking about cheese plates. I was like, wait a minute. Why are we talking about cheese plates? But we weren't. That was like cheese plates. Nothing at all. I do enjoy a good cheese plate, though. Big charcuterie board guy. Yeah, me too. I love that shit. Yeah. You're not a meat guy? No, I just I feel like
00:16:58
Speaker
Cause it's not like smoked or cured meat. Well, because, but it also, like, I think it's also like a, are you still talking about cheese boards right now? I think we changed your topic. I like to put mine on as a matter of cheese too for a great finish.
00:17:13
Speaker
Oh my god, I saw this recipe. Four. It's smoked pulled pork and you wrap it, you mix it up with cream cheese and shredded cheese and like cayenne pepper and then you wrap it in bacon and then you bake it in the oven. Will you send that to me? Yeah, isn't that an armadillo egg?
00:17:31
Speaker
It just makes me horny. Maybe that's something else. I've done something where you put cheese and jalapenos inside like a sausage ball and then you either smoke it or bake it and it's pretty good. I think it's an interesting question though because it is a weird thing that seat belts are required when so many other things to keep you safe are not.
00:17:56
Speaker
But it's, but I think it's like a social for me, it's more of a, it's a social issue where it's not only it's if you were to have a car wreck. Right. And you're not wearing a seatbelt as John is prone to do as I'm prone to do as I drag racist cops. You are, you are a big Tokyo drift guy.
00:18:19
Speaker
With that beard, he stays in one spot, but the beard starts flapping. He has two seat belts, one for his body, one for his beard. It's just called a rubber band. They don't call them seat belts. He just puts a helmet on it.
00:18:35
Speaker
He's got a big you can you can end up paralyzed your beard way more than 40 pounds. No So I actually want to hear what John has to say. So you said that you could end up paralyzed. So are you talking about a medical cost thing? Yeah Yeah, I think that's the government's our argument is medical. It's literally it's yeah, you know and it does save lives But yeah, like it's
00:18:56
Speaker
I just don't feel like the government is really concerned about saving lives.

Technological Evolution of Seatbelts: 1980s Impact

00:19:00
Speaker
No. Unless it made the money. Yes. I don't know. I think it's kind of interesting. I think it's a kind of interesting thing. That is an interesting thing. I wear my seat belt every time I get in the car. I really do. But I do think it's an interesting thing.
00:19:19
Speaker
Do you ever think like, fuck this government telling me what to do? Fuck the man. I could have that thought, but my other thought is I don't wanna die in the car accident. Right, totally. Or a potentially preventable death. So I'm not really given, I'm not really.
00:19:34
Speaker
Well, I never think about it being a law. I think about it being more like safety. Be like a safety thing. Absolutely. I totally agree. I never think about, well, I better put this on or I'm going to get pulled over. No, I better put this on or I might die. And we do have things. So we have red lights and those are laws. So we have traffic lights. Those are laws. We have stop signs. Those are laws. So we have all these things for driving that are laws that control us.
00:19:54
Speaker
Yeah, you're required to drive. Yeah, but that's for the good of everybody, not just yourself. I'm saying if it's something that's just really affecting you, less about other people. Well, the same argument was made when they had motorcycle helmet laws.
00:20:12
Speaker
Right. Right. And they don't, they don't have them everywhere. I see people riding without helmets all the time out here, but they have them in 48 States. I think, I think that they don't have them in Arizona and apparently Colorado. Okay. Or Illinois. So that's three really Illinois too. Yeah. All right. All this tastes like Kevin. So I love motorcycles. I hate helmets.
00:20:39
Speaker
No, I wear a fucking big old helmet when I ride my little scooter. I've got like a racing helmet. My favorite thing to do with my brain is to keep it inside my skull. Yeah. It does its best work there. I'm not saying the work it does is great, but it's definitely the best work it's going to do for me. Yeah, that's true. That's true. It is the best chance you have at a thought. Yeah. Like my thought of doing an episode about seat belts.
00:21:10
Speaker
I feel like your brain might have stepped out for that one. I knew it the whole time. New Hampshire is the only state that does not require adults to wear a seatbelt. See, I did not know that any state did. That's interesting. Okay. Roughly 15,000 lives are saved by the safety feature every year in the United States, or created a national highway. 15,000? Yeah. God, I would have thought it'd be more than that, right? Every year? A couple more stats. Yeah.
00:21:41
Speaker
And by the way, you know about New Hampshire's license plate motto or slogan. It's like live free or die. So if there's one state where you're not going to be forcing anyone to wear fucking seatbelt, it's probably that one. That's crazy.
00:21:59
Speaker
Guys, wearing your seatbelt as a front seat passenger can limit your chances of moderate to fatal injury by 50% and of dying by 45%. Wearing your seatbelt in a light truck limits your risk of critical injury by 60%. Nationally, most, as in 90.1% of Americans, use seatbelts, which we kind of already went over that.
00:22:27
Speaker
That's not everybody so there's a good 8% that just are too fat to get it around so Have you guys been to New Hampshire? I have well I was thinking like can you imagine you live in New Hampshire you crash your car? You fly through your window cuz you're not wearing a seat belt and as you fly through the air you see a cards coming Towards you and on the license plate you see live free or die and you think I'm living my best life Yeah
00:22:49
Speaker
Probably, right? I mean, it's such a small state. If you fly through New Hampshire, you might end up in another state. That's true. Or on a moose. And then they'll be like, hey, it's a law here. New Hampshire's not that small. It's pretty small. You're thinking of Delaware. I'm thinking of New Hampshire as well.
00:23:21
Speaker
Why can't I what's a what's a city in New Hampshire
00:23:25
Speaker
Rockford has... I don't know either. I don't think they have cities there, dude. I think it's called Cow. Rockford? New Hampshire? Hartford? That's Connecticut. No, Rockford. Oh, Rockford? Oh, there's a Rockford, Illinois. Fuck, what's the capital of New Hampshire? Is it Rhode Island? It's Delaware.
00:23:50
Speaker
Okay, let's see if we can come up before the, so our challenge is before the end of this episode, we have to come up with New Hampshire's damp little. But not, we can't use the googs. Jeez. No googs. No, that's the whole point. All right. I'm not going to be listening to anything. I'm just going to be trying to think of this the entire time.
00:24:09
Speaker
I'm going to, you didn't say I couldn't text Courtney. There's a lot of people listening. Well, there's not a lot of people listening to this podcast, but the ones who are all just like Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. They're singing to themselves. It's fucking Moby Dick. All right, guys, the most recent accident fatality data is from 2017. So this is where this comes from. Who knows what's happened in the last six years. There's been COVID all kinds of shit. So.
00:24:39
Speaker
In that year alone, of the 37,133 people who died in car accidents, 17,500 people were not wearing a seatbelt. With a mortality rate of 47% for those who chose not to, wearing a seatbelt is absolutely critical to driver and passenger safety.

Volvo's Three-Point Seatbelt: A Gift to Global Safety

00:25:00
Speaker
Many view the safety measures optional.
00:25:04
Speaker
But the statistics below are key indicators of just how important it is to wear a seatbelt every time you get in the car. And here comes the below statistics. 91% of respondents claim that they buckle up every time they drive. 9.2% of respondents don't wear seatbelts when they're going a short distance. The one thing that can systematically not wear a seatbelt is when I'm riding in a cab. I was going to ask you guys if you do if you're in a cab or an Uber.
00:25:34
Speaker
Yet in an Uber, I kind of will. Cause I feel like I'm more in a car, but in a cab, I really don't want to touch anything, including a seatbelt. I definitely put seatbelts. Yeah. I always, I always put my seatbelt on anytime I can. You do. Yeah. And yeah, I don't, I don't in, if I'm, if I'm in a cab or if I'm in the back seat of an Uber.
00:25:54
Speaker
I don't know why that is. You kind of feel... I don't either. Christina does every time, but I don't. I don't know why. I don't either. Because you're a goddamn rebel. That's right. Because I'm a man. You're the K1500 Terminator. Yeah, excuse me. I need to go take my Flonase.
00:26:14
Speaker
My contacts are dry. That was part of the intro, right? I don't think people know what we're talking about. Anyway, continue. Okay, great. I will. Since 1975, estimates show that seat belts have saved 374,276 lives.
00:26:33
Speaker
Including mine. It's not that many. Guys, I've been in car accidents before. Me too. And my seatbelt saved my life. And I got a concussion and whiplash, but I stayed alive. Hey, it saved Jason.
00:26:49
Speaker
It saved Jason, remember Jason? Yeah, I think I remember that conversation doing the safety episode, you know, the first time we did this topic. Yeah, it saved his ass. Hey, we can end this right there. I'm not married to this. I mean, wait, it kind of are. We can sit here and spitball a city for New Hampshire. We're all dating this one. We're in this episode. We're in this together. Yep. We'll get to the end.
00:27:17
Speaker
OK, guys, apologies to everybody in New Haven. It happens sooner rather than later. OK, let's let's you know, the statistics are kind of boring. You got the big ones. There's seatbelt laws and car insurance and bullshit like that. Let's get into some history, because this part is actually a little bit more interesting. Probably not. Probably not. It's a seat belt. I think you should have ended with licorice, man. That was a big fucking. I was having a rough time getting past that.
00:27:43
Speaker
Everyone's a candied safety apparatus. A timeline of seatbelt history can be traced back nearly two centuries, but it's only been the past few decades that the safety feature and its use have become commonplace. As recently as the 1980s, only about 10% of Americans wore seatbelts while riding in a car.
00:28:15
Speaker
We did oh my dad was very adamant that we were Yeah, my mom was always very adamant. I think I know whose parents didn't love them. It's true It's you right Greg. It's definitely great. Yeah, it's amazing how badly that they They worried about my climate comfort
00:28:34
Speaker
Your internal temperature? Yeah, but not a sea ball. Either one of your partners ever ask you, like, they'll be like, what's the weather like outside? And you both just woke up? Does that ever happen? No.
00:28:46
Speaker
Because Cordy does it, we'll wake up and she's like, what's the weather like? I'm like, I don't know. Like I haven't been outside. She's like, well, like look it up. Okay. But it's like every day. Look it up asshole. Craig, did you, did you get, was there a point where your parents did start pushing the seatbelt or was that as long? Yeah.
00:29:06
Speaker
I'll tell you when they went hardcore, when my brother, who was the oldest of us children, started taking driver's ed and he was scared straight. He saw all these videos and the movie's like red asphalt. And he's like, okay, guys, so from now on, we're all wearing our seat belts. My dad's like, fuck you, you can't make me do that.
00:29:33
Speaker
It's like, no, eat this black licorice. Like a man. It's so bad. Now you got your driver's license, get in your fucking Fiat, put it on your fucking seatbelt and get me a pack of Paul malls. Did he smoke Paul malls?
00:29:54
Speaker
No, I think you smoked like Campbell toe Man those are not for the faint of heart those are the kind of cigarettes that give you in the Navy. Yeah Yeah, here you go, buddy. Enjoy this
00:30:12
Speaker
Okay, guys, let's see. So the 10% in the 1980s, yeah, weren't you? It was an uphill battle, one that included laws, education, and technological improvements to get these life-saving devices adopted by the public. And you know what, guys? It's a good thing they did, too, because they've been credited with saving more than one million lives. One, I thought you said it was like 300,000. That was from 1975. They've been around longer.
00:30:42
Speaker
Pay attention to the stupid sats. Yeah, sorry. Still trying to think of a city in New Hampshire. Yeah, I know. I'm not even trying to think of the capital anymore. I'm just trying to think of a city in New Hampshire. Is it Montpelier? No, that's Vermont. OK, I don't know. All right, guys, in the mid-1800s, Sir George Cayley, a wealthy landowner in Yorkshire, England, invented the first seat belt
00:31:11
Speaker
And guess what happened, guys?
00:31:14
Speaker
It worked. He was very interested in aerodynamics and the principles of flight, and he's credited with building the first successful manned glider a half century before... What's a manned glider? Oh, you know. It definitely sounds like something we would try out at that cabin. I said manned glider, but... Yeah, exactly.
00:31:44
Speaker
It's a man glider is what you fly into your man cave. Oh, geez. So in his man's glider. Really got to hit that D. It's very important D. It's kind of the same thing anyway. There was, there was a seat belt in there. This is the point. Put a seat belt in his goddamn glider.
00:32:13
Speaker
That's what we're doing. That's made out of fucking liquor. It worked. All right, guys. In 1885, the first seatbelt was patented in New York City by resident Edward J. Claghorn. Why was it called this? Why wasn't it called the Claghorn? It should be. That guy didn't take this thing through. He could be a legend. He could have been. Shut up and put your Claghorn on.
00:32:44
Speaker
If you don't put that clag on, I'm gonna turn this car around right now. God, that's so funny. I can't go on. This fucking episode's just... So guess why it was devised?
00:33:06
Speaker
It was to keep tourists safe as they rode in taxis. Obviously, not a lot of people were using their collage horns, but that's what happened. The seatbelt looked more like a present-day climbing harness, which was obviously super easy. Like back then, it was so hard to do anything. You have to wear those fucking corsets and shit. You know, it's like, oh. You think you wore, you would've, the men wore corsets? I will, I mean, depending on what kind of mood I was in. Where did we run out of drag show?
00:33:37
Speaker
the 1885 so it consisted of a strap that used hooks to secure a rider to the seat so you'd be tethered to your seat all right guys
00:33:53
Speaker
What was that transition for? It was just terrible, I don't know. Okay guys, Barney Oldfield, a racing pioneer and the first person to drive 60 miles per hour, recruited a parachute manufacturer to design a restraining harness for his Indy 500 car.
00:34:10
Speaker
This was in 1922, Oldfield had seen several drivers get hurt and even die after being ejected from their vehicles. Shocker! And I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing because that's where all the damage is. So if you can be thrown clearer of the burning car...
00:34:29
Speaker
Probably the best. They should really change how we do cars. You know, we keep racing. We keep racing and all these guys just fucking pull vault out of their cars. What are you saying? A lot of people getting thrown out of these cars when we're racing them. Maybe we should stop racing. We're not going to do that. Don't be ridiculous. What will people do for entertainment?
00:34:54
Speaker
Yeah, what will people do for entertainment? What am I gonna do when I'm good and drunk? Like, that's the best time to go racing. Plus, you're so relaxed when you catapult out of those cars. Absolutely. Let your body go limp or else you're not hurt. Hey, if I'm hammered, that's a good way to do it. That's true. They tell you if you're drunk, when you get into an accident, you're probably gonna live through it, right? Because you're all mellow. Just let your bones kind of shatter. Yeah. Just get smacked around, no big deal. No problem.
00:35:22
Speaker
Prior to this, and the decades following seat belts were rarely worn, one myth that prevailed during this time was that it was safer to be flung from the car than remain inside the vehicle as it cracked and potentially burned, which is what I just said. Is that called the John Banks theory?
00:35:39
Speaker
Manufacturers, meanwhile, believe that if they included too many safety features, it would give consumers the impression that the car was unsafe. So if you fucking, if we put a seatbelt in, definitely those guys, if we put a steering wheel in.
00:35:55
Speaker
It's gonna make you feel like you can control it. What else could be like that? You think, Hey, we're going to put wings on an airplane, but that makes flying too safe. Hard to get up in the air. Yeah. No, no, no, no. That seems that worked.
00:36:17
Speaker
A big deal happened in seatbelt technology in 1959. They moved away from licorice? They did. They went to ball bearings. It's always the ball bearings too. When Swedish engineer Niles Bolin invented the three-point seatbelt. Yes, I remember Niles.
00:36:42
Speaker
I was very excited about Niles. You do? Yeah. The Volvo Car Corporation hired Bolin the year prior as the company's chief safety engineer. He had previously worked designing ejector seats for fighter airplanes. So this guy was concerned about safety and throwing people clearer out of things that are about to crash.
00:37:05
Speaker
and apparently didn't just for sitting. So before the three-point seatbelt was designed, you guys know what they had? Two-point seatbelt? Two-point seatbelt. Not great. In the future, there's going to be a four-point seatbelt.
00:37:21
Speaker
Nope, but there can't be. I won't work in a car. The future. Do you guys remember, did you ever have the cars where you had the lap belt and then you had the thing that went up across? Yeah, separate. Is that a three point? Is that what that is? Yeah. Well, three point is like a single belt. It's basically shoulder, hip, hip. The three points of your body. Those are the three points of my body. Yeah, it's just three points. So it's shoulder, hip, hip. That's the same thing. He's right. Okay, good.
00:37:51
Speaker
I may not know hockey so it was one it was one piece yes one piece well then why is how come later they did they separated the pieces
00:38:04
Speaker
No, they put them together. Earlier on, I think they... Well, I don't fucking know. What year are you talking? What year are we in? Hold on a second. No, you're right. Okay, so let me go back to this. God damn it. Two-point seat belts only secure the passenger's lap and were hardly ever worn at the time. The four-point belts Bolin was used to in airplanes were untenable in cars. Was that like, I imagine that's two over the shoulder? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see, his solution was a three-point seat belt that used one continuous loop.
00:38:33
Speaker
or balance, I'm sorry. One section ran diagonally across the body while the other section crossed the lap, creating a restraint for both the upper and lower body. I have that in my car. And I don't call it my upper and lower, I just call it my body. I usually call it my three points.

U.S. Seatbelt Laws: Adoption and Evolution

00:38:56
Speaker
Hard to argue with that.
00:38:59
Speaker
I don't dress the upper part of my body, but the lower part I do. Thank God. I often drive shirtless. Just wear a seat belt. Just a seat belt. I like the way the licorice feels against my skin.
00:39:20
Speaker
Except on those hot days. Those hot days gets a little bassy. Yeah, it's a little sticky. Oh, and it really, really releases the smell. You know, look at the smell going.
00:39:30
Speaker
The good news is if you're getting to an accident and your seatbelt gets wrapped around, you just eat your eye out. You just eat your eye out, yeah. The big debate is whether you prefer seatbelts, the red vines. The twizzlers. The red vines. The twizzlers seatbelt. Remember a couple years ago, they switched over to Fruit Rollups and that was a tragedy. That didn't go well. Those things did not hold up. You know what? You got to try to innovate, you know?
00:39:54
Speaker
So the first car to feature the three-point seat belt was the Volvo PV 544. That's always known for safety. And they had super catchy names for car. Yeah, that was really good. That's really good. I will not forget that. Nothing makes you feel like a king like the P554. You're going to get so much pussy. That's what the PV standard served for a pussy vehicle. You need 544 pussies.
00:40:21
Speaker
Was that sexist? At the same time? No. But it was Swedish, it was Swedish vagina. Okay, okay. I don't know what that means. Safer. Safer.
00:40:35
Speaker
Maybe the most remarkable and most significant aspect of this invention is what Volvo did with their new technology. They gave it away for free. The company allowed other manufacturers to have the design free of cost, all in the name of safety. At the time of his death... That was a mistake. They should have held back and let people die. Hey, are we trying to save lives or are we trying to run a business? We're trying to run a business. That's a good point.
00:41:06
Speaker
It's a little bit like tobacco. You know, I need people to smoke so we can keep the sales going. This guy's like, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we just make cigarettes illegal? If enough people die, everyone's going to want a Volvo.
00:41:24
Speaker
Someone in the room said that, right? There's someone, and everyone was like appalled. But maybe there was one guy like, hmm. I was like, thank God, Kevin. I was thinking it. Didn't want to say it. I didn't want to be the one to bring it up. Didn't want to seem like a monster. But I'm going to totally just jump on board with this. Yeah. It had to have been like the founder's stepson. I want to inherit this fucking behemoth of a company.
00:41:54
Speaker
And they're like, no, we're going to make our cars look like those. Is that your Swedish accent? Oh, I don't know. How do you? How do you? What was that? Do I have to sing at ABBA? No, no, you don't. No one's asking for that. You guys come up with anything about New Hampshire yet? No. Guess what happened in 1961 in Wisconsin? Something in New Hampshire. I'm hoping in Wisconsin. New Hampshire branched off from Wisconsin and became its own state.
00:42:24
Speaker
and the capital is Milwaukee. God, I should know the answer to this because I was educated in the Canadian school system and we learned all about the States because I used to know. Of course, we all knew all the damn capitals, but I don't anymore. Well, not only do we not know the capital, we don't know a fucking city. There's no cities in New Hampshire. Yeah.
00:42:57
Speaker
What the hell? Why are there no cities in New Hampshire? There's got to be cities in New Hampshire. Well, there are probably towns. What's a town? All right, guys. What happened in Wisconsin was they were the first state to require seat belts. That's surprising to me. I've been to Wisconsin many times.
00:43:19
Speaker
Yeah, and it was in... What did I say? 1961, guys. Oh, 1961, I apologize. They only required seat belts in the front seat, so that way all the kids sat in the back, and when your dad slammed on the brakes, you'd chip a tooth on the headrest. But that is one of the headrests there, is to stop the seat. Well, they had bench seats. You're fine. Yeah. What does that mean? If you're going forward and back, you're not fine.
00:43:44
Speaker
Well, you're not going to like, it's not like you could go between the seats is what I'm saying and fly into the windshield. I don't know. I think it could if you do it right. I mean, that's acrobatic. Then in 1968, the entire country short of New Hampshire, our lovely state of New Hampshire, nationally mandated seatbelt, seatbelt wearing. But they just started ticketing in the beginning, right? I don't think it was like against the law. Like you didn't get a ticket for it in the beginning.
00:44:14
Speaker
Well, let's see. I don't think. So, oh, here we go. This answers an earlier question. Although the three-point seatbelt had been around for nearly a decade, the law did not specify the need for any particular design. As a result, many automakers installed separate lap and shoulder belts.
00:44:35
Speaker
My dad had a pretty sweet 69 Camaro growing up and that had the double or the separate seat belts. It was always very weird. I had a 1976 Firebird Pontiac Firebird. Right. I know that's the car that you thought would get you late and didn't. We talked about this in an earlier episode. Yeah. The weird thing about that car is it did have two seat belts, like what you're describing. And it also came with a separate key for the ignition than the trunk.
00:45:01
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I kind of remember that now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think that was same with my dad's. In case you're younger than us, keys are what you use to get into your car. Start it up. Yeah. At a 1973 Volkswagen Beetle that had a hole in the gas tank. So every time you drove it, you got really sick from the gas. I had a hole in the gas tank of my, I had a, I had it. My first car was an 84 Ford Mustang, but it's not a cool one. It was like a four cylinder hatchback, rusted out piece of shit.
00:45:30
Speaker
And I know at some point I've got a hole in the top of my gas tank. So it wasn't necessarily leaking fuel, but it was leaking fumes. And the fumes went right into the car. Well, so the gas tank sat in the Volkswagen buckets in the front. That's in the very front. So it was leaking down and blowing in through the vents. Nice. Yeah.
00:45:50
Speaker
I didn't wear the seatbelt in that car because I did not care. I died. I would say that was your least of your problems. Take the old lord from this wheel. So is it weird that Kevin had a hole in his lung and John had a hole in his gas tank? That's weird. What? It's a real X-Files we got going on here. Yeah. Yeah. We gotta get Mulder and Scully on this. Well I think we got him. I think we got Mulder right there.
00:46:16
Speaker
Is it me? Yeah. It's okay. He's Mulder. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's going. Absolutely. Guys, let's, let's get up to 1984 where New York requires front seat riders to wear seat belts.
00:46:29
Speaker
He had the first state to require that. So, uh, you know what? If they did not comply, they faced the fine of 50 bucks. And in 1984, that's like a hundred dollars today. That's actually, that's probably more like $94,000. 94,000 dollars. Yeah. Like, so we're going to need six years worth of your income. We're going to garnish your wages by a hundred percent.
00:46:58
Speaker
What do you say there buddy next time you wear a seatbelt? Also they required that anyone 16 or younger in the back seat had to wear a seatbelt. It wasn't until 1984 that that became law guys so
00:47:14
Speaker
You know, the evolution of seatbelts is just absolutely fascinating. Since 1984. Why does he do that? That's not comfortable. Because this fucking thing, it's the shape of my desk. It's like an L-shaped desk. And I can't get close enough to my microphone. For those of you only listening to the audio version, Greg has a boom mic, and he hugs it the entire time we're recording.
00:47:39
Speaker
Not the entire time, just often. Okay, so the real problem is that my boom mic sits on a tripod stand and I can't fit the feet under my desk properly. And if it goes to the end of the desk, then the boom's too long. Wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. This is more fascinating than the people at the desk. I feel like that's coming to my head. No? No. Okay, good. Let's write this ship.
00:48:08
Speaker
We're stopping in 1984 Nothing else happened Nothing really else happened There was like a wall some wall came down there's a wall thing for a bit there Right, and then there's a band that wrote an album called

The 1980s Auto-Seatbelt Innovation: A Pop Culture Failure

00:48:24
Speaker
the wall. Oh, that's true. Yeah, I hated that album
00:48:28
Speaker
Stop selling albums of all time. I was never a pink Floyd guy meaning. I love pink Floyd. Yeah, I really do dirty hippie All right, but yeah, look at this beard. Here's what happens if you sink pink Floyd and no, I don't do that. I'll do that shit. Okay Well, was it the Wizard of Oz? Was that it? Yeah, the Wizard was yeah
00:48:47
Speaker
Anyway, this actually happens to be a topic where history did not defeat itself and the technology has continued to improve in car safety and seat belts. It started off with something selfless and noble by that Volvo company where they allowed everyone to get the design of the most important safety feature within a car and saved the most lives.
00:49:11
Speaker
So it's kind of cool. Cause like, usually we like to talk to it about the negativity and this is one, one aspect, one thing where I don't think history did defeat itself. Do you remember, do you remember there's something that was a big time failure? Do you remember the auto seatbelt thing? Did we talk about that in the safety episode? Do you remember the 1980s where you would sit down and the seatbelt would go, Oh yeah. And it wouldn't automatically go on you. That thing was so fucking annoying. Yeah.
00:49:37
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like me in this with this boom Just put your arm over the top Yeah, the seatbelt cuz it's I thought he at first like he was trying to like make his his his bicep look bigger like but it wasn't it wasn't working Especially usually when I'm trying to make my bicep bigger or something like that. I would just stare at myself in my own little Whatever screen camera yeah, I look at myself the entire time
00:50:00
Speaker
Oh I do too. Yeah. I can tell you guys looking at you. Yeah I'm way better looking at you two idiots. Yeah. I'm so handsome. Is that what you keep telling yourself? Alright let's just drive on down at last call. Alright. Unless you have something else you want to say about this. It's probably the worst episode ever. No it wasn't. It was just fantastic. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
00:50:30
Speaker
Wait, not mine? He was just defending you. Oh yeah, that makes more sense. Yeah, because Kevin thinks he's so handsome. We cannot take for granted that technology automatically improves our lives. But in this case, it actually does. When it comes to seat belts, we haven't come that far, but we have stopped ourselves from flinging through an untold amount of windshields. What else could we do?
00:50:56
Speaker
We're gonna toast the crash test dummies that have tested seat belts and have suffered an amazing array of injuries while their mannequin old bodies have been flung hither and tither. May your concussions be brief and your dicks stay hard. And may everyone's seat belts stay fast. That's a different kind of doll. Cheers. Cheers.
00:51:26
Speaker
Oh, God, that's gross. I want to point out that I don't have much to shoot in the house right now. And my dad left some VO, Canadian whiskey over here, cheap Canadian whiskey. So I just shot that. That's my dedication to this podcast. I don't think my dad listens to the podcast anymore. But dad, we got to step this up, man. We can't keep this up. This is terrible. Are you sure it's not like VO5? It is really cheap liquor. Is that a shampoo? Yeah, VO5.
00:51:55
Speaker
I didn't have a ton of time to do research. Yeah, that's a parent. Anyway, thank you all for joining us. Thank you, Greg. We're not done yet. We're not done yet. That's totally staying in too. Good night, everybody. Bye guys.