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The Great Alaskan Volcano Prank | History Defeats Itself Comedy Podcast
240 Plays11 months ago
Join us in this intriguing episode as we delve into the humorous tale of the Mount Edgecumbe volcano hoax – a masterful April Fools' prank pulled off by Oliver 'Porky' Bickar in 1974. Discover how a sleepy Alaskan town was stirred by billowing smoke from a dormant volcano, leading to a mix of panic, confusion, and, ultimately, laughter. We unravel the planning, execution, and aftermath of one of history's most audacious pranks.
https://linktr.ee/historydefeatsitself
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Transcript
Mom's Cringy Goodbye
00:00:00
Speaker
I've been talking to my mom. She's got this new way of signing off when she says goodbye. Is it you ruin my life? She's she's 81 years old. No, it's not that she says. I just have a hard time even saying it because it's so cringy. She says, OK, Greg, I'm going to love you and leave you. Goodbye. Oh, gross. Yeah, I don't like that at all. Yeah.
00:00:32
Speaker
That's just, she's gotta know what to say. That's just uncomfortable. It's terrible. Again, she's 81. So. Does she just hang up or does she wait for you to say something? I usually just say. Oh. And goodbye.
Podcast Introduction
00:00:57
Speaker
History Defeats Itself is a comedy podcast. Kevin, John, and Greg are not experts, historians, or even all that smart. Hello and welcome to History Defeats Itself. My name is Kevin Rosenquist. Thank you very much for being here.
00:01:18
Speaker
We are a comedy podcast that wonders why we never learn from our history. And as always, I am joined by my two co-hosts, two men who once again were snubbed by the Oscars, John Banks and Greg Mitchell. How are you guys? Ooh, that was very topical humor intro. I really thought I was going to get the nomination for Barbie. I thought so too. Yeah. I thought so too. I was going to get one for off key Mitchell.
00:01:45
Speaker
On another note, it is Jonathan's birthday today! Yeah! But if you knew, Jon, really...
00:01:55
Speaker
His name's not really Jonathan. Happy, happy, happy birthday. This day is just for you. I wish you a happy birthday and a bunch of gifts or two. Yay. Thank you. I don't know how I found that, but it made me laugh heartily. So happy birthday, sir. Thank you. What's you up to tonight? Going to Taco Bell.
00:02:23
Speaker
No, having dinner with my lady friend. Nice, nice. Are you afraid to get specific? Well, I was told I can no longer use their name on this podcast. Not for any security reason, she just doesn't want her name in your mouth. She doesn't want to be associated with this show. That's weird because she lets me put other things in my mouth. Well, you did say that you could suck your own dick and you proved it.
00:02:54
Speaker
Damn, I just got birthday blasted.
Birthday Banter and Social Dynamics
00:02:59
Speaker
I think birthday blast is what you did to yourself after you sucked your dick. It's happening again! John, are you still polyamorous? Do you still date? I mean, technically we're still poly, but...
00:03:12
Speaker
We're both just busy. I haven't heard you talk about. Aren't you busy when you're dating? I would think that's really busy. Well, no. Neither one of us are dating. I don't know.
00:03:26
Speaker
I'm trying to see friends more and I'm just trying to be more social with people that I've known. And so it's just hard. You're really doing this whole Paulie Amherst thing wrong, dude. So essentially, people are just swiping the wrong direction on you. That's what you're saying. I haven't been on an app in a couple of years. I was dating someone and then that ended. And I keep in touch with her. She's doing really well. And courts got a guy that she texts with on occasion.
00:03:53
Speaker
No, is it me? Is it me? It's me. I mean you weren't gonna use her name. He just used her name. I told it
00:04:02
Speaker
We're not editing that. You tricked me. Keep my name out your mouth. Do you ever, do you ever date more than one other person? Yeah, for a while. There was like, in the beginning of this, like, you know, I went on dates and stuff, but it's just, it's a, I mean, you know, I finally, like, it's a lot of work to date people. Yes. That's what Greg and I have been telling you for years. You're right. You're right. It's a lot of work, you know? The sex part's gotta be worth it though, right?
00:04:30
Speaker
less and less I mean yeah you know John is getting older yeah I was telling I was at dinner last night with a buddy and I was telling him he's like going out for dinner two nights and I know and actually this would be my fourth night what but I was telling it he's like 44 45 and we were talking about it and I said you know I said it's it's like I still notice women and like if a woman's pretty you know like I'll think she's pretty
00:04:54
Speaker
But then I'm like, I want to get that sandwich. That's nice and all. But Jersey Mike's, they make their roast beef fantastic. So it's definitely shifting for me. And that's whatever. Do you think your testosterone's getting lower? Oh, yeah. I got low T, Greg. You do. You have low T. Are you low on something else?
00:05:20
Speaker
Well, I have low platelets. Yeah, you don't have enough blood. I don't have enough stuff to stop the blood if I get cut. John, you don't understand science and medicine. I apologize, doctor. Dr. Rosen, Rosen. All right, gentlemen, it is my turn today. Happy birthday, John. And tonight, I want you guys to picture
00:05:49
Speaker
A serene town surrounded by lush forests and snow-capped mountains. I like this. The air is crisp, fresh on an early April morning. Feels like South Park. The town is Sitka, Alaska.
Setting the Scene in Sitka
00:06:03
Speaker
Ah, nice. With its quaint houses and friendly locals, it sits in the shadow of Mount Edgecomb. That's on the nest. Yep, it is. It's a little on the... Yeah.
00:06:16
Speaker
a dormant volcano that hasn't erupted in over 400 years. That is intense edging. And I could just see John's face just just let me get this edging joke in. Let me get this edging joke in. And then he's got his opportunity. It's pretty.
00:06:32
Speaker
It's if one of you didn't, I would have been disappointed. I'm just going to say, Hey, I didn't name the mountain and that's on them. So yeah, agreed. Agreed. Just like the date is the date is April 1st, 1974. So this is 2020. Damn it. I always get that wrong.
00:06:50
Speaker
So 50 years ago talking about is April 1st, 1974. It's April fool's day. Kevin's birth was four years away. John would be born the following year. Greg started shaving, but for the residents of Sitka, it's just another peaceful morning. That was good. Yeah. I was shaving at four at three. Actually jerk. Couldn't shave yet.
00:07:14
Speaker
My mom did. The fishermen are preparing their boats. The shop owners are opening their stores and children are headed to school unaware of the surprise that awaits them. Tonight we're discussing Mount Edgecombs fiery prank. And it's hard to say that with straight face. It's not really Mount Edgecombs. It is. I had it. Yes. I actually did like the Google pronunciation of it. Can you spell it?
00:07:39
Speaker
edge, and then C-U-M-B-E. It's next to Mount Anal G Spot, which below is Lake Peggy. And it's across the harbor from, I experimented a little in college. And the harbor is actually Orgy Harbor. Yeah, it's Orgy Harbor. Yep, yep. Real perv who founded that place.
00:08:11
Speaker
Yeah. And it's right next to the, uh, don't forget the taint forest. Don't forget the taint or I'll never come for us. Yeah. Yeah. So Oliver Porky, Oliver Porky almost said something about, I almost said something about the O-ring about the O-ring country club.
00:08:37
Speaker
And you don't want to get down upon it. You don't want to go in the jacuzzi after dark because people lose their extra man. Was it by Sir Remington?
00:08:52
Speaker
Yeah, one of these is going to be funny. I'm laughing because I'm like 13. Yeah. Oh yeah.
Porky Bikar's Pranks Begin
00:08:58
Speaker
No, no, no. I'm fine with that. I'm very proud of you guys. I feel like this isn't a wheelhouse. So is it next to like Titicaca? Oh, nice. It's a real place. I know. Oliver Porky Bacar. Porky in his mid forties is a well-known figure in Sitka.
00:09:19
Speaker
originally from Ohio, Porky Bakar was a man in search of adventure and new experiences. So he's open-minded. All those things we just did. He's cool with it. So was, was there why he moved to Sitka? Um, he liked adventure. Okay. Um, and his adventurous spirit, uh, drove him to go to Alaska. All right. And do we know how big Sitka is of a town?
00:09:46
Speaker
Yes, John, since you asked Sitka, he's Googling in Alaska. No, no, I'm just I'm just building up a sentient. God damn it. Why doesn't it say it right off the top? On the top of the Google. Yeah. Google, get your shit together already. Oh, population. There you go. There you go. Eight thousand four hundred and seven. That's not a lot. What about is that in nineteen seventy four dollars?
00:10:14
Speaker
No, it's that was 2021. Okay. So it was probably like only 4,000. Probably less. Less. Yeah. Especially since they had that bear attack was it 600,000 and it's just really gone down on population. It's just gotten really bad because of the bear attacks. Yeah.
00:10:34
Speaker
Um, I'm sorry. I really threw you off your game. I apologize. Well, no, I was going to see if I could find it, but I don't feel like looking anymore. So anyway, um, his burly frame sparked his nickname porky and it's stuck in Sitka porky owned and operated. My name is big dick. It's weird. Cause you're a real dick to everybody. You mean a real big dick? No, it's my penis. Oh, okay. Not your personality. Cause I feel like those two things are interchangeable.
00:11:02
Speaker
Penises and personalities? Yours. Not everyone's. Just yours. Okay. Greg has a Hummer, right? Like a tiny one? Or what does a Hummer mean? He's got to have like an H2. Like all those Hummer H2s. Oh, you mean like, I got it. I got it. Not giving Hummers. Got it. Okay. Oh, you mean the automobile? Huh. Yes. Yes, the vehicle. I would probably practice some jokes in advance.
00:11:23
Speaker
Oh, really? Yeah. Spontaneous jokes, not good. Yeah. Well, maybe if I practice more, I have a large penis jokes like you, then I'd be more successful. Yeah. I mean, mine, mine actually kind of. I mean, here's the thing. I will say this. Greg does have a following. So Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin's got one. Kevin spent all his free time on his new hairstyle. It is. It looks good. I like it. I know. I know. I don't need you to fucking tell me that he's embraced the receding hairline, which I like.
00:11:52
Speaker
It's not going anywhere. I mean, it is just going further back. So that's all that's going to keep happening to all of us. It's just going to keep going further. It's going to go further and further, further down, down, down. It's where your ass should be. Wow. That
The April Fool's Volcano Hoax
00:12:08
Speaker
is aggressive.
00:12:10
Speaker
So in Sitka, Porky owned and operated a scrapyard, a place that became a local hangout spot due to Porky's charismatic presence. He was an active member of the community, known to everyone from local business owners to the kids who played in the neighborhood. He was famous for his sense of humor and love of practical jokes, often seen sharing a laugh with his customers or playing harmless pranks on friends.
00:12:34
Speaker
His humor often characterized as clever, never mean-spirited, and always aimed at bringing a smile to people's faces in one memorable incident. Porky painted footsteps leading to a tree where he had perched a toilet seat, sparking laughter and bemusement among the locals. Oh, that Porky. He's always good for a harmless, gentle laugh. I just like it in 1974. Potty humor was also still funny.
00:13:01
Speaker
Well, if it's not in 2024, then why are we doing this podcast? Because we had like a whole 20 minutes on airport bathrooms recently. Well, I mean, it's better than spending 20 minutes in an airport bathroom. That is for sure. Unless it's a Japanese airport. Hey, I'm flying tomorrow. I wonder if I'm at the poop in Japan.
00:13:23
Speaker
No, no, somewhere better. Texas. I really hope that the fucking airplane arrives in Dallas in the same shape it takes off. And because, you know, I don't know if you guys are aware what's happening lately in flight. What if I fucking die tomorrow and like this is like what I'm talking about? It's going to be a good episode. Well, we have a backup plan. John's got a John's got an idea for a show for just the two of us. Yes, I do. Is it me? Is it called me and my beard?
00:13:51
Speaker
No, no, we're just going to talk shit about you every episode. Every episode will dedicate one thing we don't like. Mostly about your body. We're going to body shame you. I'm going to be dead. I don't care. We were going to do that. It doesn't matter if you care now. We'll enjoy it. God, you are so selfish. He's very selfish. Well, I'm sorry. I thought for some reason that you would get extra pleasure out of annoying the shit out of me. But I just want to remind you, I'll be dead. That's all.
00:14:20
Speaker
I would prefer to be able to, we'll take Salas on the fact that you're no longer with us. Yeah. Okay. So you'll feel good about living if I'm dead. Yeah. We'll add a little extra. That's a really good way to put it actually. Yeah. Maybe I'll put that on my tombstone.
00:14:35
Speaker
So, despite his pranks or perhaps because of them, Porky was a beloved figure in Sitka. How old was he? He was 50 at this time. Okay, so he's dead now. He'd be 100 years old. His jokes were seen as a quirky part of the town's culture and his ability to make people laugh was valued by friends and neighbors and his philosophy was seize the day and find fun in the unexpected.
00:14:58
Speaker
man. Boy, that guy, he really knew how to be funny. He's, he's a, he's a Jim. If you come up with a whole philosophy on how you're going to amuse everyone, everybody likes that. So he was such a fan of pranks that he came up with an idea a few years prior to April 1st, 1974.
00:15:22
Speaker
while enjoying a cup of coffee and gazing at Mount Edgecomb from his kitchen window. Who hasn't done that?
00:15:33
Speaker
I knew you weren't gonna fail. None of us were gonna handle this. Well, I love you enjoying a cup of coffee. Well, enjoying a nice mountain roast. And looking at edge gum. And looking at edge gum. From his kitchen window, he joked about how easy it would be to make people think the volcano was erupting.
00:15:53
Speaker
Hilarious, right? The idea stuck with him, and over time, Porky quietly collected old tires amassing a stockpile of about 70. He carefully planned the logistics, ensuring secrecy to avoid spoiling the surprise. The tires were hidden away from prying eyes, and Porky waited for the perfect day to execute his plan.
00:16:20
Speaker
Oh, Porky. Are a lot of people looking for old tires? Are there a lot of prying eyes around Porky's backyard? Yeah, I know. I thought everybody liked Porky. Why are they prying? And what the fuck are the tires gonna do? Well, the funny thing too is like, I mean, there's not very many people in this town. So I mean, 70 was the best he could do. I feel like I'd get a lot more than 70 if I really put some effort into it. Yeah, I don't feel like he was committed to this prank. That prank sounds like a pain in the ass.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yeah, it does. It gets worse. Okay. So back to the morning of April 1st, 1974, Porky again was gazing at Mount Edgecomb and decisively told his wife, this is it. We got to do it today. Bertha, it's happening. His wife, Patty, Porky and Patty. Yeah, that's nice. With a mix of humor and concern, advised him, don't make an ass of yourself.
00:17:19
Speaker
Solid. I feel like women have been saying to men forever, and men have never listened forever. No. Yeah. No, talk about history defeating itself. Yeah. Oh, you just said, you gave me a whole new angle. Hold on. You just came up with a close. I was way better than I had come up with.
Executing the Prank with a Pilot
00:17:41
Speaker
Um, all right. So his preparation was thorough. He was, he was committed to this project. He created two Manila rope slings, each holding about 50 car tires. What the fuck is that? I don't know. I figured you guys might know. I think it's just, I feel like it's a, it's gotta be some sort of like rope, like almost netting, right?
00:18:03
Speaker
could be tire swing. Let's hear what he did. Sling. Two Manila rope slings. Yeah, I know what a tire swing is. It's just a swing with a tire. Thank you, John. What else do you know? As far as tires, that's about it. Oh, wow.
00:18:24
Speaker
That's sad. Additionally, he accumulated oily rags, a gallon of Sterno, some diesel oil and a dozen smoke bombs. Oh fuck. He was able to enlist the help of a couple of friends as well, but they needed one more thing.
00:18:38
Speaker
A hobby. A helicopter pilot. Oh, fuck. Right. Stupid, stupid Greg. That's where John Banks' dad gets into the story. That's right. He didn't fly helicopters. Okay. I didn't know. He jumped out. He was a radio man. That's what he did. Okay. He was like on the front lines and shit, right? Oh yeah. The radio guys are always the first to get killed.
00:19:03
Speaker
because they follow the antenna of the radio down and it popped. Well, it sounds like he failed. I know. He did a terrible job of dying. After calls to several helicopter charters,
00:19:18
Speaker
After calls to several helicopter charters were declined due to not wanting to be part of a hoax that might freak out the entire town, Porky finally struck gold with Earl Walker from Tempsco in Petersburg. These guys' names just sound like guys who would do this prank. If it would have been like Theodore, they'd be like, no, not Theo. Give Earl Walker a call. He's probably up for this.
00:19:44
Speaker
That guy flies drunk. I've never seen him fly sober, as a matter of fact. I wouldn't want to get in a helicopter if he was sober. I'm not sure what he'd do. Too unpredictable. Earl, captivated by the audacity of the idea, agreed to help. He was in. God damn it, Porky. You came up with a doozy of a...
00:20:06
Speaker
Delio. Let's have some Coors Light and probably Miller. They're probably Miller at that time with the Teratabs. Let's have some Miller with some Teratabs. Yeah, just Miller. Just Miller. Just Miller, not Miller Genuine Draft. Just Miller. Or maybe PBR. Or maybe Coors. Maybe the banquet beer. The banquet, yeah. Because at that time you still couldn't get it east of the Rockies, right? Or east of Colorado? Maybe some sort of Russian beer. They're in Alaska. Because of geography?
00:20:36
Speaker
The bottom line is they were drunk. Isn't there a beer called Alaskan or something like that? Alaska? Could be. Or Alaska. If there's not, we should start it up. Yeah, I think so. All right, so with Earl Walker piloting the helicopter, Porky and his team flew to Mount Edgecombe carrying the first load of tires. That guy, he stayed up all night working on that one. The first load.
00:21:05
Speaker
They're going to see how long they can go before the first load comes off the helicopter. I believe you're a bunch of dudes flying up to Mount Edgecom. You got to do a circle jerk, whether you want to or not. It's just like part of being on the mountain. What do you think that volcano is going to erupt with?
00:21:23
Speaker
Jizz. Yeah. I wonder if- Molten Jizz. Yeah. I mean, but what is hot molten lava other than just the Earth's cum? Because it does cool off.
00:21:38
Speaker
It starts out warm. Yeah. It does make babies. It is. It is fertile. It's fertile. It's very like, yeah. So, Oh my God, it makes a mess. It does destroys everything destroys lives. You don't want to swallow it. Nope.
00:21:55
Speaker
Don't want to get it in your eye. No, you don't want to do that. Yeah. Don't want to get it on your face. If the earth eats pineapples, it's going to taste a little better. If whatever it is, correct.
00:22:11
Speaker
Okay. After dropping the tires onto the edge of the crater, Porky took a moment to spray paint a huge message in the snow around the volcano's rim. Go ahead. Exit only.
00:22:41
Speaker
With letters 50 feet tall spelling out April Fool. Not S, no S? Not according to what I read. Okay. He's getting rid of paint. I mean, if you're doing 50 feet letters, that's expensive. Did it occur to him that maybe he's spray painting snow? It's not going to really have much stain power. That's true. It would in Alaska, right? Yeah, probably. Up that high. Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:09
Speaker
The tires were arranged in a circle doused with fuel and set ablaze. The thick black smoke began to rise, making the success of the elaborate setup. That's exciting. So as the smoke began below, what I like with this prank is it's really good for the environment too.
00:23:26
Speaker
Hey, let's burn a bunch of fucking tires. I mean, but you're, this is a, this is a time in history where, cause when, when did the, the Ohio river catch on fire? When did the environment start? No, but like, it wasn't like the, cause the EPA didn't come along until the mid seventies. Right. I think I actually think it was Richard Nixon who actually, it's because of porky. That's what the, that's what the B stands for an EPA.
00:23:49
Speaker
I think it was all the lead in the air from the gasoline and the chemicals in the water. I think it was more of that. But you're going to have a serious answer for me, John. Geez, thanks. I'm sorry. I just don't know when you're being stupid or when you're being funny. It's very hard to tell the difference. It's hard in mine. It's difficult to look at balance.
00:24:13
Speaker
Most of my jokes are stupid, too. There's no winning. Everyone agrees. There's not a person out there listening that doesn't disagree with that. It's unanimous. So as the smoke began billowing from Mount Edgecombe, early risers and fishermen heading out to sea were the first to notice the unusual sight. For many, the immediate thought was one of concern. Well, as it should be. As it should be, a dormant volcano showing signs of activity was no small matter in Alaska.
00:24:43
Speaker
People are authorities. People start to gather in their condoms. That's good. Hey, do you guys know the morning after pills? Because I think we're fucked. Everyone started to put on their glasses, their bukkake glasses. They're just they're like regular glasses. They're just bigger. We've covered a lot of terminology in a short amount of time.
00:25:13
Speaker
Well, we're an educational podcast. That is true. John, are the glasses you're wearing right now, are they boot cocky glasses? No, these would need to be a little bigger. I think you'd want it to be wrap, and it's almost like goggles, but not quite goggles, because you want to be able to take them off pretty fast. I like kind of like DJ sunglasses, you know? Yes.
00:25:29
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. I have a pair of those. I think you should wear the kind of glasses that old people wear when they go to the optometrist. Yeah. Yeah. That would work. And it has like the side things on it too. Yeah. Cause you don't want any just through the side holes and something else that I would do is not be in the same room.
00:25:44
Speaker
I really want to reduce the chances of catching some of that. Syphilis. Mount Seaman. Earth, Earth, Syphilis. Earth, Syphilis. Botulism, I think it's called.
Public Reactions and Mistaken Eruption
00:26:00
Speaker
The local authorities, including the police and the Coast Guard, started receiving calls from worried citizens.
00:26:05
Speaker
They initially reacted as they would to a genuine volcano eruption, considering evacuation plans and alerting higher authorities. Sitka's local radio stations played a crucial role in spreading information as they began broadcasting news of the smoke more residents tuned in with the story rapidly becoming the talk of the town.
00:26:32
Speaker
Well, of course it is. I was reading this. I'm like, they're like, Oh, we better listen to the radio to see what's going on.
00:26:39
Speaker
Fucking smoke coming on this bad boy. For anyone under 40, a radio was a thing that people used to listen to for information and music. And also AM Morning FM Morning DJs coming at you live. Ricky and the turtle. We got weathers news. We got weather news on the sevens. traffic coming down in sick Boulevard is pretty light because only 8,000 people live in this town.
00:27:10
Speaker
There is a little bit of traffic backed up at the stoplight. And don't forget about Citgo National Guard. Sorry, Citgo. I don't know some church name. You're going to want to take La Cienega to the 405. Okay. I was trying to, well, whatever. Coming from the chopper.
00:27:36
Speaker
Traffic is, oh shit, the volcano's active. There's another chopper up here for some reason. Not sure what it's doing, but there's a lot of tires coming out of it. Oh my God, is that Earl? That might be Earl. No wonder he called off work today. All right. At the Sitka Airport, pilots and passengers were equally intrigued.
00:28:01
Speaker
This is a great talk about timing. An Alaska Airlines flight even changed its flight path to give passengers a view of the eruption, adding to the growing buzz. Even back then, they were trying to kill people. That was considerate, though.
00:28:16
Speaker
But I love that something that because, you know, jets crash in volcanic ash because it's so it's like it's so fine. It just gets in the engine and shuts it down. So Alaska Airlines is like, hey, we're going to fly everyone by this thing so we can all die. You'll see it and then we die. But but in fairness, they probably shut off the engines while they went past. Yeah, that's true. I wouldn't get inside. We're going to we're going to go ahead and open the emergency exit door so you guys get a better look. This is a Boeing 737. So doors probably already off.
00:28:46
Speaker
uh, door's already gone. Um, been checking a lot of, a lot of boats are missing out of the, you know what folks, we're just going to go ahead and crash. We're going to see if we can land in this volcano. Okay. Because if it is erupting, maybe it'll shoot us back out.
00:28:59
Speaker
Has anybody heard of the Mile High Club? Because I'm thinking now might be a good time. If you're thinking about joining that club. So why don't you make your way to the front. Everybody walks on our doors. I'm just going to turn around and talk to you guys because nobody cares. I'm just flying from watching cartoons in the same place I've learned physics.
00:29:21
Speaker
This microphone's not even plugged in. You guys are right there, I'm talking to you. Guys, I got these things on my shoulders from Captain Crunch. Who wants to edge me? I didn't even go to airport fly school. And like Earl, I'm pretty drunk.
00:29:47
Speaker
Later that, later that morning, Oliver Porky Bikar himself revealed the prank. He informed the local authorities and media that it was an April Fool's joke and he was responsible for the smoke. It's fucking funny, man. I hope it triggered a real volcano.
00:30:01
Speaker
Those who feel that's a volcano's work. You don't know. You don't know. There was like some kids in Pompeii were like, oh, we're going to go put tires on. They're like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Damn it. He's dead. Jokes on me. It's like if everybody jumps up and down, I can cause an earthquake. Fracking causes earthquakes. You don't know how volcanoes start. That's true. My point is true. I do not. I think it's tectonic plates and shit.
00:30:28
Speaker
but you don't know, do you? Have you ever seen a tectonic earthquakes, man? No, I think it's also, isn't it volcanoes too? Okay. Something about the shifting. I don't fucking know who cares. Those who, those who flew over or approached the volcano could see the telltale signs of the prank, the strolling tires and the large April fool message. Porky had laughed in the snow. Porky.
00:30:51
Speaker
That's son of a bitch. News of the prank spread rapidly, making headlines across Alaska and even gaining national attention. The revelation of the prank was met with a mixture of relief, laughter, and in some cases, annoyance.
Investigation and Consequences
00:31:04
Speaker
While many admired the creativity and audacity of the hoax, others were less amused, feeling that the prank had caused unnecessary worry. We call them Karens.
00:31:19
Speaker
Following the reveal of the hoax, local authorities conducted an investigation. They needed to ascertain whether any laws were broken and if any action should be taken against porky. Fucking porky. Of course laws were broken. Are you kidding me? He fucking got on fire and spray painted the face. Ultimately, he did not face any legal consequences.
00:31:38
Speaker
Because he's in Alaska, no one fucking cares. The authorities concluded that while the prank caused temporary alarm, it did not result in any physical harm or significant resource drain on emergency services. And for the most part, the authorities thought it was just pretty damn funny. But his attorney, Skippy Johnson, was ready with the defense of, hey, come on, guys.
00:32:01
Speaker
What's a good laugh worth, huh? So a few people panicked and fled the city. So an Alaskan airline flight went down. We're still not even sure how it happened because it wasn't even a real fucking volcano. That's a good point.
00:32:25
Speaker
So, let's see here. Porky was interviewed by various media outlets. His prank celebrated as one of the most ingenious April Fool's Day jokes ever pulled off. The fact that this was portrayed in the media in such a light-hearted manner ultimately aided in defusing the situation further.
00:32:42
Speaker
Oh, well, that's good. That's nothing compared to John Banks's prank in the next year of lighting a forest fire. When he was born. I murdered everyone in Sitka and made it look like it was vampires. Oh, that John Banks. He's so funny. And then authorities are like, well, there were no laws broken. You can't murder people.
00:33:08
Speaker
I mean, you can't have Alaska. Anything goes in Alaska. That's true. Alaska is kind of like the Australia of the United States.
00:33:17
Speaker
Well, because it was a territory, a territory, not a territory, but a territory. Look, man, you're not supposed to get too hammered before you go. Apparently one shot of alcohol is all I need now. Um, but wasn't Alaska like a territory until 18, 40, 19, 19, 46, 1948, something like that. Uh, 1947, I think. Okay. Yeah. No, I don't know. I was just, I was like, nice.
00:33:41
Speaker
I just picked the one in between the two dates you gave. Let's just go with that. That sounds good. Okay. I don't think anybody's going to fact check us. I don't think we've ever given her a true fact about anything anyway. It's true. Um, in Sitka, the story of the day Mount, Mount edge come erupted.
00:33:58
Speaker
quote unquote, erupted, became part of local lore. Porky's reputation as a local character and Prankster was solidified by the hoax. For many in the community, the event became a humorous anecdote that highlighted his creativity and sense of humor. The hoax is remembered more for its ingenuity and the laughter it brought than for the initial fear and confusion. Well, he really is the main character, isn't he? It's crazy to me. I mean, I nothing really happens in this story, but I can't. I mean,
00:34:27
Speaker
Like, I don't know. What would happen if that happened, like if someone did that today? Oh, you would go to Homeland Security, you would go to jail for a thousand years. It would be like a humongous deal. How many years, John? A thousand. Even in Alaska, though, wouldn't you think that it would be a pretty like, like, this would not just be like, oh, that's parking, you know? Like, it would be bad. In 1974, they didn't give a fuck about shit. Well, so it was January 3rd, 1959.
00:34:57
Speaker
That was when it became a state. Shut up, Ron. God, we were way off. We were way off. I thought you were changing the date of his story. Because I feel like Alaska has that. The people in Alaska, even today, it's a very different attitude. Absolutely. Well, they're just trying to survive. That's true. That's part of it. They're hard asses. Are people in Juneau? Are they hard asses in Juneau? I think so. I feel like if you're in the wilderness. In Anchorage? Yeah, Anchorage.
00:35:28
Speaker
Name another Alaskan city. Sitka. Sitka. That's good. Whitefish. Spearhead. Bear. Cold. Cold. Snowy. Oh God, I'm being ripped apart by a pack of wolves. Mystery. Population. Mystic. Population one half.
00:35:53
Speaker
Even Porky himself reportedly reflected on the prank in later years, acknowledging the mixed reactions and stating that his intention was always to create a moment of joy and surprise, not fear or
Reflecting on Porky Bikar's Legacy
00:36:03
Speaker
hard. Yeah. I had a boy Porky. I just think it's funny. Everyone's just like, Oh, I mean, can you, if I woke up the morning and there was smoke coming out of there, I'd be like, we're getting the fuck out of here. You're like, God damn it. I said we shouldn't move to fucking Alaska. Why are we here?
00:36:19
Speaker
Everybody get on your sled. We got to get the fuck out of here. I shit. And from my shit bucket, I see the volcano about to erupt. I was, I was living in Chicago. We had, I get hot dog carts. We had street hot dogs.
00:36:39
Speaker
And now I have a shit bucket. I have a shit bucket and I have to kill animals and make my own hot dogs and they don't ever taste like hot dogs. And now we're going to die. Porky died in August of 20, uh, I put 20, 23. No, he porky died in August of 2003 at 79 years old. But did he really?
00:37:08
Speaker
That's the next part. I don't know. No, no, I'm just kidding. No, this is nothing really happens to the story. I just thought it was like, I think it's an interesting example of like, of how bad you can fuck up an episode of history defeats. It's no, I'm pretty sure you guys have set that bar pretty, pretty low. So, um,
00:37:26
Speaker
It's not a competition, but if it were, I mean, you're definitely in the running here, Kevin. I don't feel like you're getting some boats. Yeah. How about that? High horse, buddy. Anyway, I think we're conditioned. We're conditioned to assume people are going to get panicked at most things these days, but they just didn't. They were just like, Oh,
00:37:48
Speaker
That's weird. You're right. They are. We are conditioned to overreact. Instead of everyone just needs to take a page at a pork knees book. Yeah. Well, I mean, I wouldn't, I don't necessarily condone the idea of freaking people out with a serious and terrifying as an interrupting volcano, but yeah, we need less Kanye West and more weird house. That's a very interesting comparison, but, but I agree.
00:38:17
Speaker
It's one of the weirder things I've ever heard anyone say, but I'm totally on board with it. We need now is more weird. Ask not what Kanye can do for you, but what Weird Al will freak you out about. Seriously, man, I thought you were trying to win the presidency. What the fuck are you talking about?
00:38:41
Speaker
I don't know who's talking. That was me answering. That was JFK, man. I don't think Jeff Day is alive anymore. No, he died. Yeah, he did. It was tragic. It was actually very tragic. Do people know how? With a bullet. It was a magic bullet. So it was a pretty clear cut. Who did it?
00:39:05
Speaker
Yeah, no, no, it was too easy. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. There were no grassy knolls or anything weird like that. There were six shooters. So wait, they had a six shooter? No, there were just six of them. Six, six shooters. Six, six, six. They had a revolver. 36 bullets. Okay, so they got the perpetrator. Got it.
00:39:27
Speaker
Okay. Did anything happen to the perpetrator after he was gone? Like say he was walking. He served a couple of years in Jared, got out, wrote some books, did a book tour, met a lovely woman. So there wasn't some guy named Jack Ruby that shot him. Uh-huh. What was his, wait, I can't think of his name. What was his name? Jack Ruby. No, no, no. The guy who shot me. Thank you. Thank you. I just, I keep, I keep thinking, uh, are we just going to go through the whole plot of JFK here? Like, so what did, what did Oliver Stone think about that?
00:39:55
Speaker
Well, he didn't I he thought that Ryan Gosselin was not doing his best work. So do you know about that little scandal? Nope. Little apparently everybody just gets mad. You talk about like people. So here's here's a guy who's faking. You need to listen to fucking Weird Al and not Kanye.
00:40:11
Speaker
Well, yeah, because here's a guy who's like who's who like, you know, is basically making people think of volcanoes erupting. And then like now we get pissed because some person didn't get nominated for best film. And Ryan Gosling was in a movie, Barbie. And it's just stupid. We're stupid. That's what happened. We got stupid.
00:40:30
Speaker
I agree. That's kind of why that's what I found interesting about this is that it's like people are just like, that's pretty funny. Yeah. I think it's justified. It's that, that people are a little bit upset about the fact that the women that were in Barbie, the whole point of that movie was, was how it's like a man's man's world. And women, when they fight for their own rights, they don't get fucking recognized. Yeah. And then, and then it actually happens in reality. It's kind of, and then we give the handsome Ken doll guy the fucking
00:41:01
Speaker
Well, not that he won yet, but at least he got nominated. I think that's a little gym. That's a little bit thing to get pissed off about.
00:41:10
Speaker
I don't know what pissed off. I mean, here's a notice. Who should get pissed about that? I just, I feel like everybody. Well, here's the thing. I feel like, I mean, Barbie made, it was one of the highest grossing films ever, right? Everybody who was in that film, they're all doing fine. Right. So it's like, and I mean, I guess everybody knows John's bucking for an Academy award with this little speech.
00:41:34
Speaker
I mean, I'm really trying. I'm trying. Like, I think I honestly wish I had some applause. I would put that on right now. I think the fact that people care so much about this, like all of this stuff, it's like these are all very wealthy people. Most of the time, sometimes films, you know, little, little like independent film stuff get it and, you know, and they're not. But most of these people get nominated for stuff like especially the big action. They're fucking rich and they're good looking and they're living great lives. Like, fuck you. No, we all need to feel bad for Margot Robbie.
00:42:01
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And I think she's brilliant, right? And yes, did she get robbed? Yeah, I think she did get robbed in the thing that people are rewarding each other for pretending for her, right? So it's like, yeah, life's great. Well, that is a pretty narrow category, but yeah.
00:42:16
Speaker
But it's also, there's five nominees, right? I haven't seen all the movies. So I don't, I mean, is everyone who's outraged? Did they see all five performances and marinades to decide which one was the right one? Yeah, I have no idea. I mean, cause that's the other thing too, is it's like, it's a subjective thing. And I feel like every single year there is, there is something about the Oscars and some of it, yes, some of it is legitimate and perhaps this is too. Let's just cancel the Oscars.
00:42:40
Speaker
And in the academy, I have three friends who are all actors. If you're in the union, you can vote. You're in the academy. So it's like, there's thousands or tens of thousands of people who vote on these things. So it's like, don't get mad at this organization. Get mad at all the people who didn't vote for it. Right? That's like...
00:42:57
Speaker
And it's whatever, man. Don't blame me. I voted for Margot. I did. I'm not in the Academy and they wouldn't take my vote, but I did. I voted for... I sent her a lot of letters and I don't know. I voted for meeting her. Just having a pleasant time with her. Having a pleasant time. Yeah, just exchanging ideas. She's very funny. A very pleasant, short time. Yeah. Well, whatever. I would like to go on a date with her on Mount Edgecom.
00:43:28
Speaker
We'll see if we can make that work. It is your birthday after all. It is, yeah. So, Margo, if you're listening, you're not. It's on the table. You're not listening. You're not. Nobody knows. All right, gentlemen. Last call. Cheers to Porky Bakar. You pulled off the greatest April Fool's prank anyone's ever heard of. Good work, Pork. Sorry, your dad. Cheers. That's all, folks.