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37 Truths You Should Have Been Taught About Men
72 Plays3 years ago
A super packed episode of hard-learned truths about men.
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Transcript
Introductions and Episode Topic
00:00:05
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:10
Speaker
I'm Rope.
00:00:11
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
00:00:13
Speaker
And Lilith is out this week.
00:00:15
Speaker
It's another tag team episode.
00:00:17
Speaker
Another tag team episode.
00:00:18
Speaker
And it's called... But Lilith is missed, as always.
00:00:21
Speaker
And hopefully she'll be back with us soon.
00:00:23
Speaker
In the meantime... In the meantime... This week's episode topic, 37 truths we should have been taught about men.
00:00:30
Speaker
And so this episode is in response to the really popular blog post that was written on the subreddit and is now published on the blog that was titled 37 Lies That We Were Taught About Men.
00:00:43
Speaker
And earlier in the year, we did a three-part episode basically going through that post and breaking down why each of the 37 lies are actual lies about men.
00:00:52
Speaker
So we thought that to do something a bit different, that we would flip that and we would be dissecting 37 truths that we should have been taught about
Understanding Men's Standards
00:01:01
Speaker
men.
00:01:01
Speaker
So yeah, that's the episode today.
00:01:03
Speaker
That's on the docket today.
00:01:04
Speaker
All right.
00:01:05
Speaker
So this is going to be an exciting episode because we're going to, it's another one of those episodes where we go through a lot of different FDS concepts in short succession.
00:01:13
Speaker
Things that you know, but no one's ever really completely articulated.
00:01:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:17
Speaker
Right.
00:01:18
Speaker
Because these are things that most of us know through experience, but are counter to the things we're generally taught as women in our culture.
00:01:25
Speaker
So starting with number one, which is men only complain about women's standards if they don't meet them.
00:01:31
Speaker
It's not because they think the standard is unreasonable.
00:01:34
Speaker
Yeah, so this one, I think it's quite self-explanatory in that when we, or when a woman gets dogpiled about her standards, I often find that it's only the men who don't meet that standard who are complaining about it.
00:01:47
Speaker
So let's say a woman only dates men who are tall, say six feet plus.
00:01:52
Speaker
It's not the men who are six feet plus who are complaining about the standards.
00:01:56
Speaker
It's the men who are five foot seven, five foot six, five foot eight, five foot nine or whatever.
00:02:00
Speaker
And that's more to do with them feeling rejected.
00:02:03
Speaker
That doesn't mean to say that your standard is unreasonable.
00:02:06
Speaker
It's more to do with their own ego and the idea and the feeling that they would be rejected or they can't see somebody as a potential option, basically with that one.
00:02:17
Speaker
Generally, the men that have the things that women want don't think it's unreasonable.
00:02:21
Speaker
In fact, they're probably happy that other men are failing so that they have more access to women.
00:02:28
Speaker
That's actually true.
00:02:29
Speaker
So immediately, I feel like a man gives himself away as being low value or not having much if he's always complaining about women's standards, because I'm like, well, you wouldn't complain if you were on the other side of that.
00:02:41
Speaker
And then all of the women wanted you, right?
00:02:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:44
Speaker
It's almost like how, you know, men as a class complain about gold diggers, but how many rich men, when they come into money, they end up going for a woman who, if they didn't have money, they know that woman, they wouldn't look at them twice.
00:02:57
Speaker
It's not that they don't like gold diggers in quotation marks per se.
00:03:01
Speaker
It's more that they're not accessible to them.
00:03:03
Speaker
Because that's the first thing they do.
00:03:04
Speaker
They go and get a trophy wife, a woman who wouldn't look at them if they didn't have money.
00:03:08
Speaker
Right.
00:03:09
Speaker
And I've seen a lot of female dating coaches and I don't know what their angle is, but there's a lot of female dating coaches who have made it their entire brand to tell women that our standards are too high and we're making men feel bad.
00:03:20
Speaker
And first of all, I want to be like, sis, what's your angle?
00:03:23
Speaker
Are you just trying to get head pats from Krusty Krab Twitter?
00:03:25
Speaker
Because it's very odd to be a skrab.
00:03:29
Speaker
Honestly, like I'm like the dirtiest, crustiest guys are the ones that are going to be the ones agreeing with this.
00:03:34
Speaker
Right.
00:03:35
Speaker
So I'm wondering, like, why would you pander to the have nots?
00:03:38
Speaker
Right.
00:03:38
Speaker
Right.
The Impact of Lowering Standards
00:03:41
Speaker
Okay, so what all these women do is talk about like, oh, men are complaining because there's actually a really infamous dating coach.
00:03:48
Speaker
I think she was a Christian dating coach who said like, I stopped trying to give women dating advice because they all want shallow things.
00:03:53
Speaker
They want a guy who makes 100K who's six foot who they basically want the entire 666 package, six inches, a little small, six.
00:04:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:07
Speaker
Six figures.
00:04:08
Speaker
They want that entire package.
00:04:10
Speaker
And then their entire shtick is like, women are so unreasonable.
00:04:13
Speaker
This is so hard.
00:04:14
Speaker
And then you'll see like men come up with all these statistics and how there's only a small percentage of men that meet that criteria and how women are all delusional.
00:04:23
Speaker
But like, I'm like the men.
00:04:24
Speaker
The scrotum ethics.
00:04:25
Speaker
The scrotum ethics.
00:04:26
Speaker
Do you know, the men have actually, I think it was on a post that maybe Roe, I think maybe Roe did this post, but they actually have built this like delusion calculator where a woman can put in her preferences.
00:04:38
Speaker
So say that they want a guy who's not overweight, over six feet and earns over 30k into this calculator.
00:04:44
Speaker
And it will come back and say how deluded she is.
00:04:46
Speaker
And I think like they put in like the woman said, so they assume that woman wants a guy who earns over $30,000.
00:04:53
Speaker
is not overweight and is over six feet.
00:04:55
Speaker
And on the delusion scale, it was like four out of five.
00:04:58
Speaker
And they were all saying like, look, your standards are so high.
00:05:01
Speaker
Most, I was like, that's not a flex.
00:05:04
Speaker
That just means most men are shit.
00:05:06
Speaker
And like, I swear $30,000 isn't a lot of money in the US.
00:05:09
Speaker
I know it's average in the UK.
00:05:11
Speaker
It's very average in the UK.
00:05:12
Speaker
If you're on 30K, you're not doing badly generally in the UK.
00:05:16
Speaker
But I thought $30,000 is not a lot in the US.
00:05:20
Speaker
30,000, depending on the state, could be right, like just above poverty line.
00:05:26
Speaker
Oh, seriously?
00:05:27
Speaker
I think poverty line is somewhere around 18 to 19,000.
00:05:30
Speaker
I get the economy's bad and everything, but this idea that, you know, like that we should just settle just because like men feel like those standards are too high for them is
00:05:40
Speaker
It's like they're not getting the idea that like, well, without those standards, then you're pretty much useless to us, right?
00:05:44
Speaker
Like they never come out and say, okay, well, I don't have six figures, but I have this.
00:05:49
Speaker
Or, okay, I'm not six feet tall, but I'm this and I'm that.
00:05:52
Speaker
Like notice how they never like finish that thought.
00:05:54
Speaker
They just sort of say like, you're wrong for wanting those things.
00:05:57
Speaker
So I'm like, okay, so if we don't have those things, like what use are you?
00:06:00
Speaker
And then it's crickets.
00:06:01
Speaker
So the standards are what they are, diamond.
00:06:04
Speaker
Number two, men do not value or respect women who lower their standards to be with them.
00:06:09
Speaker
I think this is a really, really big one.
00:06:11
Speaker
And there are several angles that I want to unpack with this one.
00:06:15
Speaker
The first one is that, you know, like Ro touched on at the top of the episode, general mainstream dating advice is fully invested in getting women's standards to be where the Mariana trenches or up haters' ass crack.
00:06:29
Speaker
And the thing is, a lot of these men, they will be cheering on, you know, women who say, I don't mind if we go to Taco Bell for a day, if I pay 50-50.
00:06:38
Speaker
I don't mind if he doesn't have a bed and he has a mattress on the floor.
00:06:42
Speaker
I just love him for him.
00:06:44
Speaker
But why?
00:06:46
Speaker
What's great about him?
00:06:47
Speaker
Like, there's always a blank space where there's supposed to be a description of why you're dealing with this man, right?
00:06:55
Speaker
That's true.
00:06:56
Speaker
That's actually a good point as well, because I remember when I was complaining about one of my exes and my therapist, she didn't come across as the most based, but what she said in hindsight was based.
00:07:05
Speaker
Like, she straight up just asked me, what are you getting out of this relationship?
00:07:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:10
Speaker
And I didn't actually have an answer.
00:07:13
Speaker
The thing is, when women start to think about that, that's when they start to have standards.
00:07:16
Speaker
And that's when men start to get mad because they think that we're just supposed to be with them.
00:07:20
Speaker
And I don't know, reasons, hashtag reasons that they can't even describe to us.
00:07:24
Speaker
So, I mean, number two to me is a direct result of number one, where men complain about the standards.
00:07:30
Speaker
But as soon as you lower them even a little bit, they lose complete respect, really, because they know it's an uneven exchange.
00:07:36
Speaker
Right.
00:07:36
Speaker
They know that.
00:07:37
Speaker
Yeah, they know you're a sucker.
00:07:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:39
Speaker
Yeah, they know you're a sucker.
00:07:40
Speaker
So it's like they create this self-reinforcing environment.
00:07:44
Speaker
Whereas if we articulate our standards, they're mad.
00:07:47
Speaker
But if we lower our standards, then they don't respect us and they take advantage of us and exploit us.
00:07:53
Speaker
There's no movement in there where they actually close the gap or close the bridge to actually create some kind of value so that we're not embarrassing ourselves scraping the bottom of the barrel.
00:08:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:02
Speaker
And the woman ends up taking the bigger L because not only are you with a guy that you've admittedly lowered your standards for, but you're also not happy in the relationship.
00:08:11
Speaker
So that's like a double L. Like, at least if you're going to be in a relationship with a man, at least have him meet your standards.
00:08:17
Speaker
And this is another thing as well.
00:08:18
Speaker
And I feel like in my experience, I was speaking about this with my sister.
00:08:22
Speaker
We were talking about this list before we recorded.
00:08:25
Speaker
And we both observe that it tends to be, this is just a generalization based on our own individual friendship groups, but it tends to be the attractive, well-accomplished women who end up lowering their standards.
00:08:36
Speaker
And then what happens is that when the guy starts moving mad, he starts acting bookie.
00:08:41
Speaker
It's almost like their ego begins to say, you can't treat me like this, how dare you?
00:08:45
Speaker
And so they double down and try harder as opposed to removing themselves from the situation as well.
00:08:50
Speaker
And that's another thing, because as I've said before, it's one thing to have your heart broken by a guy who met your standards, who you had a good relationship with, but it just didn't work out.
00:08:59
Speaker
It's another thing to be treated like trash by a guy you know you should have never given a chance to anyway.
00:09:05
Speaker
Let's run that back because I have to tell you that all of the times where I just wanted to, when I felt like an absolute donkey's ass is when I gave a chance to a guy that honestly wasn't even my type that I knew wasn't that great.
00:09:18
Speaker
But I was like, well, he has a great personality and I like hanging out with him.
00:09:22
Speaker
So let's just give him a shot.
00:09:23
Speaker
And then he absolutely acts like a scrote or acts how many men do is they get comfortable in the relationship and they start getting
00:09:30
Speaker
more and more entitled.
00:09:31
Speaker
And you're just sitting there feeling like an absolute fucking sucker while this guy, like this guy's talking down to you and you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:09:40
Speaker
I need you to know that I'm the catch here.
00:09:42
Speaker
And you like raising your voice to me, you take that base out of your voice, first of all, right?
00:09:47
Speaker
That's how I approach it.
00:09:48
Speaker
Like, don't come at me, you know, trying to put some bass in your voice when you were already on thin ice in this relationship to begin with.
00:09:56
Speaker
Right.
00:09:56
Speaker
And that's the thing with men you lower your standards for is that they will embarrass you every time.
00:10:01
Speaker
They just end up with no respect for you.
00:10:03
Speaker
Like in the scenario that Rose said, you know, these is probably absolutely true that these women are a catch, that Rose a catch, but they won't see it that way because they'll think if you're such a catch, you wouldn't give me the time of day.
00:10:14
Speaker
These men know they ain't shit.
00:10:15
Speaker
Like they know, they absolutely know.
00:10:18
Speaker
And this is the reason why they don't respect women who they know can do better.
00:10:23
Speaker
Because they're just thinking, there must be something wrong with you if you're with me then.
00:10:26
Speaker
You must be the problem.
00:10:28
Speaker
Rock bottom for me emotionally is when an ugly guy puts bass in his voice when he's talking to me.
00:10:32
Speaker
And I'm like, oh no.
00:10:34
Speaker
This is honestly why I'm really glad I can say relationships have ended for me, but I can always say I've never dated a guy I didn't find attractive.
00:10:43
Speaker
I can say that with my chest.
00:10:44
Speaker
I'm glad.
00:10:45
Speaker
I've dated a couple.
00:10:46
Speaker
And honestly, if I see them in the street, I'm going to act like I don't know them.
00:10:50
Speaker
I mean, I'm not, I'm not above it.
00:10:52
Speaker
Just Mariah Carey him.
00:10:54
Speaker
No, I'm dead ass.
00:10:55
Speaker
I'm dead ass.
00:10:56
Speaker
Like I so get Mariah Carey.
00:10:57
Speaker
Like there's just certain men you just have to pretend that you just don't even know because-
00:11:00
Speaker
I was like, you know what?
00:11:02
Speaker
I wasn't in a great place in life.
00:11:04
Speaker
And I thought you were had a great personality and I could grow to love your ugly ass.
00:11:08
Speaker
And it didn't happen.
00:11:09
Speaker
So now I'm just embarrassed of the entire situation.
00:11:12
Speaker
And never again, because I'm telling you, it's a mind fuck.
00:11:16
Speaker
I'm telling you, you'll look yourself in the mirror and not respect yourself if you let a man below your standards.
Financial and Relationship Advice
00:11:23
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:11:24
Speaker
It just creates that negative feedback loop again, because you're thinking, I'm so amazing, which you are, which these women are, so why is he treating me so badly?
00:11:32
Speaker
Then you start thinking you're doing something wrong, as opposed to thinking this guy's just trash, because you're thinking, you know, it's almost like if you give almost like, sorry to sound classes, but if you give a poor person like a Michelin star meal, and they start complaining, you're going to be like, where are my chicken fingers?
00:11:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:49
Speaker
But yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:11:51
Speaker
So it just creates that negative feedback, which is why it just pains me when, you know, women lower their standards, thinking that is the way to function in a relationship because you will lose every time or women will lose every time on both fronts.
00:12:04
Speaker
Exactly.
00:12:05
Speaker
Number three, a man will not love or respect you more for suffering alongside him and building him up.
00:12:10
Speaker
In fact, the opposite tends to be true.
00:12:11
Speaker
They resent you for it.
00:12:13
Speaker
Yeah, this links back to the first...
00:12:16
Speaker
two points in that again we're told that you know ride or dare you know we're told essentially ride or die in the nollywood movie industry actually which is basically the nigerian version of hollywood i grew up watching films where the woman would be subjected to horrific mistreatment from her husband but then when he came into money he'd then start treating her like a queen or when they had a baby he'd then start treating her well all of that is just is horseshit propaganda
00:12:44
Speaker
And men do not respect or love you, you know, for suffering, you know, more alongside them.
00:12:49
Speaker
And if you don't believe me, definitely check out For My Man, the documentary series where women have literally done this.
00:12:56
Speaker
They've literally suffered for their man and they're now in federal prison without parole for the rest of their life.
00:13:02
Speaker
Oh, is that like a Netflix documentary?
00:13:04
Speaker
Like a true crime documentary?
00:13:05
Speaker
It's a true crime documentary where basically, and we'll do an episode on For My Man because this is like, pick Misha's on steroids.
00:13:12
Speaker
But basically, yeah, where women, they will get into crime on behalf of, you know, the guy they're with.
00:13:18
Speaker
And the funniest thing is, like, when they both get arrested...
00:13:21
Speaker
The woman won't, you know, she won't snitch the guy because obviously ride or die, right?
00:13:25
Speaker
But the guy will be snitching her and basically singing to the feds that blaming on her like a canary.
00:13:31
Speaker
So he'll get 20 years and she'll get life from prison with no parole.
00:13:34
Speaker
That's ridiculous.
00:13:35
Speaker
But that's what you get in some respects.
00:13:37
Speaker
Like, I mean, because I was used to watch like cops, right?
00:13:39
Speaker
If you've ever seen them...
00:13:40
Speaker
I don't know if they have a similar show in the UK, but there's a show here called Cops.
00:13:44
Speaker
They basically just do police ride-alongs and there's a regular occurrence where the boyfriend or the husband lets the wife take the fall for his drugs.
00:13:53
Speaker
Is that because they also believe that women get lighter sentences?
00:13:56
Speaker
Sometimes.
00:13:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:57
Speaker
And like sometimes the women will do that because they think of like, especially if he's got more than one strike.
00:14:01
Speaker
Right.
00:14:01
Speaker
So some laws have increasing penalties, the more felonies that you're caught with.
00:14:06
Speaker
So a lot of times they'll be like, oh, I'm just gonna have my girlfriend take the fall because it's her first offense.
00:14:11
Speaker
So she'll only get a little bit of time or it'll be a much lesser charge than for him.
00:14:14
Speaker
So yeah, it's a problem.
00:14:16
Speaker
And again, we've done episodes on, you know, building a man up.
00:14:20
Speaker
So we did, you can listen to the John Cena episode where we spoke about how his first wife was with him when he was homeless, when he had nothing.
00:14:30
Speaker
And then when he hit the peak of his career and they eventually got married, but then when he hit the peak of his career, it ended in divorce.
00:14:39
Speaker
No, he didn't marry her.
00:14:40
Speaker
Right?
00:14:41
Speaker
He never married her.
00:14:42
Speaker
His first wife, yeah, they got married after like a 15 year relationship.
00:14:45
Speaker
Oh, his first wife.
00:14:46
Speaker
Okay.
00:14:46
Speaker
That was the second girlfriend, Nikki Bella, who we like strung along for a decade, almost a decade.
00:14:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:14:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:14:52
Speaker
Okay.
00:14:52
Speaker
But yeah, building a man up, it's just a bad strategy, especially, especially if you're not married to him.
00:14:58
Speaker
And I would always recommend if you are going to invest in a man in any meaningful way, so if you're going to contribute to his business, if you're going to support him in buying a home or whatever, make sure that you are married or at the very, very minimum that you know your legal rights.
00:15:12
Speaker
Don't assume that he's going to think, oh, well, she supported me and helped me out.
00:15:17
Speaker
That is going to be fair to you if the relationship ends.
00:15:20
Speaker
Just protect your energy.
00:15:21
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, that's a pipe dream.
00:15:23
Speaker
He may not, right?
00:15:24
Speaker
He may or he may not, but you just also, you need to, you just need to protect your energy, like really.
00:15:30
Speaker
And another thing as well is that we have to be mindful of the fact that when we see someone who is down and out, it can be challenging for them to be around people who know them when they were down and out.
00:15:43
Speaker
especially if they are trying to break out of that almost.
00:15:47
Speaker
You know, firstly, they may not necessarily be successful, but secondly, it's like if they do end up, you know, breaking out of that, is the relationship still going to survive?
00:15:55
Speaker
Are you going to remind him of the time when he was broke and had nothing as well?
00:15:59
Speaker
That's true.
00:15:59
Speaker
I mean, anybody who's ever leveled up in their life or tried to evolve past a circumstance that was a negative experience for them, sometimes unfairly, people who were part of that life, your old life can just remind you of that, right?
00:16:14
Speaker
Like you just outgrow people.
00:16:15
Speaker
So even in the best case scenario, in the sense that even if he's not a scrote, who's just like using and exploiting you, it's quite possible he might just outgrow you, right?
00:16:24
Speaker
That's what tends to happen if you're not, you know, in a marriage or something where you're committed to grow together in some kind of direction.
00:16:30
Speaker
So I think it's just, yeah, it's just such a mistake to be the struggle woman.
00:16:34
Speaker
Like you definitely want to be the woman who he sees as aspirational for whatever his current life circumstances.
00:16:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:42
Speaker
That being said, it can't be so aspirational that he's so clearly beneath you that you go right back to number one, ladies.
00:16:52
Speaker
He's complaining about your standards because you're too aspirational for him.
00:16:57
Speaker
So there's a lesson here to be had about balance.
00:17:01
Speaker
Can't be too struggly.
00:17:02
Speaker
Can't be too...
00:17:06
Speaker
It could be made.
00:17:07
Speaker
Can't be so far above him that he's out here going, well, you maybe got these standards.
00:17:12
Speaker
You can't get a woman because this woman got standards.
00:17:17
Speaker
You know, that's it.
00:17:19
Speaker
And I guess in these scenarios as well, you sort of... You maybe need standards.
00:17:24
Speaker
Okay.
Balancing Growth and Support
00:17:26
Speaker
I guess this is also where, you know, some discernment comes into play because obviously, you know, we're not always going to meet people who are the finished product, so to speak.
00:17:35
Speaker
But this is where I think it's important before you start dating is to know your bottom line.
00:17:39
Speaker
So know the bare minimum you will accept from a guy.
00:17:42
Speaker
So for me, for example, he has to be gainfully employed.
00:17:45
Speaker
Like he needs to be gainfully employed and that needs to correspond to his age.
00:17:49
Speaker
So I would expect a man who is say, you know, 30 to be at a different stage of his career than if I was dating a guy who was 26.
00:17:56
Speaker
as well, depending on the industry.
00:17:58
Speaker
But roughly speaking, I wouldn't be happy if a guy was say 35, not that I would take a 35 role, but just for example, and he was just starting his career.
00:18:06
Speaker
So just getting his first meaningful job.
00:18:09
Speaker
I wouldn't be happy with that.
00:18:10
Speaker
So you have to know your bottom line of what you're willing to accept.
00:18:12
Speaker
And you have to know upfront to some degree, you know, how much you're willing to grow with this person, how much you're willing to invest in this person.
00:18:18
Speaker
Because the
00:18:19
Speaker
you know, for all intents and purposes, some people do grow together.
00:18:21
Speaker
Like my sister, she met her husband when they were both in uni, they were both at the same life stage.
00:18:26
Speaker
And he's now, you know, like a finance director working on contract, which is big, big money.
00:18:30
Speaker
They've grown together.
00:18:31
Speaker
But at the same time as well, she's not put her own career and dreams on hold to support him, which is where another, you know, which is another place where I think women make that mistake is whilst they're, you know, building the man supporting him, they put their own dreams and aspirations on hold, which I think is another mistake as well.
00:18:48
Speaker
Yeah, you should absolutely be focused on yourself primarily and then finding men who can grow with you and the direction you want to go.
00:18:57
Speaker
Yeah, and just look out for positive markers that they're actively working towards that dream.
00:19:01
Speaker
Like, I'm sure we've all come across the guy who wants to be a musician or wants to be a successful or wants to be the next Joe Rogan person.
00:19:09
Speaker
But the gap between that becoming a reality and their current reality is so massive that it's basically a pipe dream, you know?
00:19:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:21
Speaker
And meaning like they have no feasible plan towards that goal.
00:19:26
Speaker
Talk is cheap, right?
00:19:27
Speaker
There's a lot of people that have aspirational goals that will never achieve them because they never take the first step.
00:19:32
Speaker
And everyone has something like that, right?
00:19:34
Speaker
I wouldn't even say that's like male exclusive, but men tend to like wallow in delusions of grandeur for much longer.
00:19:40
Speaker
See our episode on like 40 year old meat where this guy was convinced he was like secretly a genius and he couldn't hold on a McDonald's job.
00:19:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:48
Speaker
So like you want to watch out for that.
00:19:49
Speaker
A man with aspirational goals who are things he's special with no outside validation of that and no movement towards building something to prove that.
00:19:57
Speaker
Right.
00:19:58
Speaker
So number four, men know if they want to marry you very early on.
00:20:04
Speaker
Now, I know FDS, we've been roasted on the past by certain female subreddits on Reddit just for saying this simple fact.
00:20:10
Speaker
But the fact of the matter is every man I know who is in a marriage that is doing well, they always say they knew very, very early on that they wanted to marry the woman that they're now married to.
00:20:23
Speaker
They may not pop the question within three months because that's just weird.
00:20:26
Speaker
But the intention to marry was always there.
00:20:28
Speaker
And so when I see these women who are in 10 year relationships and they're still asking when he's going to propose, it's like, sis, he doesn't want to marry you.
00:20:36
Speaker
That's it.
00:20:37
Speaker
He doesn't want to marry you.
00:20:38
Speaker
Inertia sets in, right?
00:20:39
Speaker
Like, I mean, I especially feel bad for women, like if you've been together since high school or something like that, and then like they're together from high school and then they're together to their early twenties and then inertia sets in.
00:20:49
Speaker
And a lot of times it's because this guy has never, he's never had to, you know, rise to the challenge of like having you around, right?
00:20:56
Speaker
Especially not as an adult.
00:20:58
Speaker
So he doesn't know if he wants to marry you because he doesn't have a concept of how to value you correctly in his life.
00:21:05
Speaker
So being a forever girlfriend, especially if you started dating a guy very young, it can be really tough because you think, well, we put all this time together and we have a good time.
00:21:12
Speaker
But if a guy hasn't made movement to actually marry you, it means that he does not quite value you in the way that he should, quite frankly.
00:21:20
Speaker
So even in those situations where you start dating fairly young and you feel like, well, we were too young to get married, you know, because some people have said that to us, like where, oh, well, we started dating when we were 15.
00:21:32
Speaker
We were clearly too young to get married, et cetera.
00:21:33
Speaker
Like if he doesn't make movement to make that happen like sooner rather than later, then I almost feel like you're in a relationship that's stagnant because he doesn't quite understand what he has at stake or what to lose.
00:21:44
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:21:45
Speaker
And it's even further compounded.
00:21:47
Speaker
And I think partly because of economic reasons, because cost of living and rent is so
Recognizing Intentions and Commitment
00:21:52
Speaker
expensive.
00:21:52
Speaker
But when, you know, women basically give all the wife benefits without getting the ring, so they'll move in, they'll have kids, they'll buy a house together, but then they'll be asking, but he doesn't want to marry me.
00:22:04
Speaker
And again, it goes back to knowing your bottom line.
00:22:06
Speaker
And I think if marriage is something that you want, you have to almost separate what I'm willing to do for a boyfriend and what I'm willing to do for my husband.
00:22:15
Speaker
So I remember my sister, when she was dating Colonel Husband, like she said, I want to go to the Caribbean with my husband.
00:22:22
Speaker
And so she never went with her boyfriend because she was like, no, that's something I want to do with my husband.
00:22:27
Speaker
It's like, we'll go to like Europe because I don't really care about that.
00:22:29
Speaker
But I want to go to the Caribbean with my husband.
00:22:32
Speaker
So even when she was dating her now husband, it was off the table to go there.
00:22:36
Speaker
And then they went there for their honeymoon.
00:22:37
Speaker
So even stuff like that, you just have to compartmentalize between what you're doing for a husband and what you'd be doing for a boyfriend.
00:22:43
Speaker
But the problem is women tend to get it back to front and think, if I just prove that I'm wifey material by showing him that I'm willing to be his wife in all but name, then he'll want to marry me.
00:22:54
Speaker
And that just doesn't work.
00:22:58
Speaker
Take the trip.
00:23:00
Speaker
I'm not gonna lie.
00:23:01
Speaker
I would have taken that trip.
00:23:02
Speaker
I was more talking about free labor that I wouldn't be doing for a guy if we weren't married.
00:23:07
Speaker
But I would have taken that cribmanship, especially if it was all expensive paid.
00:23:10
Speaker
But I do like your comment about not going back to front.
00:23:12
Speaker
Always wipe front to back.
00:23:14
Speaker
When it comes to scrubs, front to back, not back to front.
00:23:20
Speaker
So, but yeah, in general, in general, how I would view this is like, yes, I'm totally willing to go on any type of expensive luxury trip that a man wants to take me on.
00:23:31
Speaker
But...
00:23:33
Speaker
If you're talking about committing to you when you're having a lot of life problems, etc.
00:23:39
Speaker
Or growing with you in any type of way that you want.
00:23:43
Speaker
I can't see myself doing that.
00:23:44
Speaker
And I haven't really done that without some kind of long-term commitment via marriage.
00:23:49
Speaker
I'm not trying to be committed and be an at-will employee that this person can fire at any time.
00:23:55
Speaker
I feel like the benefit of marriage is that...
00:23:58
Speaker
you're willing to put in a little extra effort when a person is slacking.
00:24:01
Speaker
Right.
00:24:02
Speaker
And let's just be clear, like, you know, even in my friendships, right?
00:24:05
Speaker
Like you just have times where things are ebbing and flowing, but you know, you, you either commit to the friendship to like working through your problems together.
00:24:12
Speaker
And obviously you can't really marry your friend, but a man who was serious about having you do that for him again, once again, if he respected you would be pushing towards marriage.
00:24:21
Speaker
Like no one would have you be there ride or die.
00:24:24
Speaker
and they're not actually investing in you or putting something very much long-term.
00:24:29
Speaker
So I can proudly say I've never been a ride or die chick.
00:24:32
Speaker
Like I don't have it in me.
00:24:34
Speaker
It's not in my spirit.
00:24:35
Speaker
I don't understand it as a concept.
00:24:37
Speaker
Ugly man, I can tell you all about that.
00:24:41
Speaker
I think, okay, we both take opposite L's.
00:24:43
Speaker
I've never done something ugly, but... Yeah, we take opposite L's.
00:24:47
Speaker
I've overexerted myself.
00:24:48
Speaker
So, like, one of my exes, like, he was looking to move house and I would literally be looking for apartments for him.
00:24:53
Speaker
And I actually got him a rent discount as well.
00:24:56
Speaker
Like, double clown.
00:24:57
Speaker
Double clown.
00:24:58
Speaker
So, that's what I've done.
00:25:00
Speaker
I wouldn't say, I suppose that's Friday or Friday, but I wouldn't say I've done anything like that.
00:25:04
Speaker
But, yeah, opposite L's.
00:25:07
Speaker
So yeah, I just don't think it's possible for a man who really wants to marry you.
00:25:10
Speaker
Like men know the value of marriage as well.
00:25:12
Speaker
Despite what they say in marriage is a ball and chain for men, they know the benefits and they know that being married to a good woman is going to elevate their life in ways that remaining single just won't.
00:25:23
Speaker
And so they will know very, very early on, like, it shouldn't need the length of a bachelor's, a master's and a PhD before you start even having the discussion around marriage.
00:25:33
Speaker
That's just nonsense.
00:25:34
Speaker
Especially if you've been basically combining your lives together in a way that a traditional married couple would.
00:25:40
Speaker
If he's still dragging his feet, sis, he's not interested.
00:25:42
Speaker
That's it.
00:25:43
Speaker
And to go back to number two, he'll start to not respect you as much and see you less of as his dream girl if you don't respect yourself enough to walk away from that situation because you are lowering your standard and he knows it.
00:25:57
Speaker
To walk away.
00:25:58
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:25:59
Speaker
And then actually they'll start to blame you as well.
00:26:01
Speaker
They'll just think, well, if she's not happy, she can just leave, which leads on nicely to number five, actually.
00:26:06
Speaker
Right.
00:26:07
Speaker
Number five, taking a man back after he treats you badly will convey that what he did to you wasn't that bad.
00:26:13
Speaker
Otherwise, why would you take him back?
00:26:15
Speaker
This is sort of inspo from Natalie Lu, who honestly baggage reclaim it's life changing.
00:26:21
Speaker
It really snapped me out of my pick me mindset and led me straight to FDS when I was reading it after a breakup.
00:26:28
Speaker
But it's like, it's honestly true.
00:26:30
Speaker
And I think when it comes to breaking up and getting back together, there's two scenarios.
00:26:33
Speaker
I feel like if it was
00:26:34
Speaker
because of a practical issue, so distance or maybe not having enough time or, you know, then getting back together can work as long as those issues have been addressed.
00:26:44
Speaker
So you've closed the gap, you've made time for each other.
00:26:47
Speaker
It's, you know, less stressful in your life, for example.
00:26:50
Speaker
And that's actually worked out for me.
00:26:52
Speaker
to some degree in some relationships where, you know, when we first met, it just wasn't the right time.
00:26:57
Speaker
We just didn't have time for each other.
00:26:59
Speaker
And then, you know, when the stressors had gone, we were able to resume a good relationship for some time.
00:27:05
Speaker
But when it's attitudinal or behavioural, so in essence, he treats you like shit, then I don't think it's worth considering, you know, getting back together because...
00:27:14
Speaker
As this one says, you know, if you take him back after cheating, if you take him back after he's disrespected you, initially it might seem like he's had a change of heart and he's matured and he's grown.
00:27:25
Speaker
But going back to the previous points, he will eventually come to think, well, I can't possibly be that bad if she's still willing to give me the time of day.
00:27:33
Speaker
And then, you know, you'll have that honeymoon period for a bit and then you'll find that the treatment gets even worse.
00:27:40
Speaker
Yeah, that's the thing.
00:27:42
Speaker
If there's times where there's a miscommunication and there's other times when a guy's testing your boundaries, right?
00:27:48
Speaker
Because where I've fallen for it a couple of times, and I tend not to entertain situations for very long, but when you're kind of in a fledgling situation and you're trying to figure out, okay, like, are we going to stay together?
00:27:59
Speaker
Are we going to continue working?
00:28:01
Speaker
on the path that we're going in and like be like formally be a couple.
00:28:04
Speaker
Sometimes what happens is a man is just like trying to test your boundaries there.
00:28:09
Speaker
And then it basically a compliance test for the rest of the relationship.
00:28:13
Speaker
And what's happened on my end, because I didn't necessarily recognize that they'll apologize later and be like, Oh, well, I think I was just like, I was joking.
00:28:21
Speaker
Or I was like, I think you misunderstood me when I didn't comply.
00:28:24
Speaker
Right.
00:28:24
Speaker
Because I don't comply.
00:28:25
Speaker
I know enough not to comply.
00:28:27
Speaker
But my mistake was like assuming it was like a misunderstanding or a joke, because that's what they'll try to do is they'll try to play it off and be like, oh, it's a misunderstanding or it's a joke.
00:28:36
Speaker
And so I've then gotten with a guy and thought, okay, well, he's not going to do the X thing anymore because I already told him this is not fine.
00:28:43
Speaker
And he said he...
00:28:45
Speaker
And it's like they know.
00:29:00
Speaker
Right.
00:29:00
Speaker
And it's under no circumstances are they unaware that you're not fine with it because you had a conversation, you had an argument about it.
00:29:06
Speaker
It might have even like made things tense between you or pushed you apart.
00:29:10
Speaker
And they come back apologizing, saying they're not going to do that thing because you didn't acquiesce to their compliance test.
00:29:15
Speaker
But all they do is try to get craftier.
00:29:18
Speaker
and then force it somewhere along the line.
00:29:20
Speaker
So that's been my experience with men who do something that I think they know on some levels unacceptable.
00:29:26
Speaker
And then it's never a misunderstanding the way that they try to portray.
00:29:30
Speaker
And I think romantic comedy, they set us up for like bad things.
00:29:34
Speaker
choices in this regard, because in a romantic comedy, the men's bonehead moves are always out of ignorance and not like deliberate.
00:29:40
Speaker
And so I think a lot of women tend to err on the side of thinking like, oh, it's just men.
00:29:44
Speaker
They're so bad at communicating.
00:29:46
Speaker
They're so bad at knowing.
00:29:47
Speaker
But I think there's quite a few men who take advantage of your goodwill and assumption of men's ignorance to just try to force your compliance down the line.
Manipulation and Boundary Respect
00:29:55
Speaker
I don't think it's all ignorance, to be honest.
00:29:57
Speaker
No, it's not.
00:29:58
Speaker
And unfortunately, this is the strategy that works.
00:30:02
Speaker
I think we have to accept that part of the reason why the shitty tactics and things like the manosphere or the red pill are so prevalent is that it does work on some women.
00:30:13
Speaker
Like, we...
00:30:14
Speaker
At FDS, we can say, you know, it's ridiculous.
00:30:17
Speaker
It's, you know, silly, it's manipulative, but we can see it for what it is.
00:30:20
Speaker
But when they are trying these tactics out on women who don't know any better or are still absorbing or who are still getting majority of their dating advice from the mainstream, their tactics make sense.
00:30:33
Speaker
And you'll think that if a guy treats me badly and I've had enough of my split up and he comes back and says he's sorry, he must really mean it.
00:30:38
Speaker
And it's not true.
00:30:40
Speaker
But unfortunately, these tactics work.
00:30:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:42
Speaker
And you can tell the difference because if you try to do the same thing to them, they flip out, right?
00:30:48
Speaker
Because men know that that small boundary violation leads to larger things.
00:30:53
Speaker
And this is, again, a difference between the way that men and women are socialized.
00:30:56
Speaker
Like men are socialized to understand and protect any small boundary violation, whereas women are always thought of as negotiable by society and men are always trying to...
00:31:06
Speaker
for debate.
00:31:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:08
Speaker
Up for debate and all my shouldn't do it.
00:31:09
Speaker
But like, you cannot treat men's boundaries with the same level of disrespect as they will treat yours at times.
00:31:14
Speaker
And I'm telling you, I've had some petty ass.
00:31:17
Speaker
God, I had a guy, for example, this is so petty, but at the same time, just so indicative of what this particular guy was dating was like, was I couldn't eat or drink in his bed.
00:31:26
Speaker
But like when he would stay with me, he tried to drink a whole soda on my bed.
00:31:29
Speaker
And I was like, no, you can't like drink in my bed.
00:31:31
Speaker
And then he
00:31:32
Speaker
Basically, at the time, like was completely dismissive of what I was saying.
00:31:37
Speaker
And I was like, you would flip the fuck out.
00:31:39
Speaker
If it was you.
00:31:40
Speaker
If it was you, it was your house.
00:31:42
Speaker
And so there's little things like that where you can just tell that a man's just testing your boundaries just to test them.
00:31:48
Speaker
And it's not like, and again, I might have thought like, oh, a miss, you know, younger me, stupider me might have thought like, okay, a bit of a misunderstanding about boundaries here.
00:31:56
Speaker
Just communicate, just tell him it's not fair.
00:31:58
Speaker
And then he'll realize it's not fair.
00:32:00
Speaker
And now I see, no, it's a compliance test.
00:32:02
Speaker
Like he wants to be able to push my boundaries in a way he would never, ever accept.
00:32:06
Speaker
And I'm like, you of all people should understand why it's not cool for you to be trying to eat a full course meal in my bed.
00:32:13
Speaker
Right.
00:32:13
Speaker
Like, so stuff like that.
00:32:16
Speaker
What's up Queens.
00:32:17
Speaker
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Speaker
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Speaker
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Speaker
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00:33:21
Speaker
Now back to the show.
Efforts and Compatibility in Relationships
00:33:22
Speaker
So I guess this leads pretty well to number six, teaching a grown man the basics in terms of how to be a decent being is an exercise in futility.
00:33:31
Speaker
He already knows he just doesn't care.
00:33:33
Speaker
Yeah, this one comes from the oft advice of the just communicate.
00:33:37
Speaker
So, you know, my boyfriend never makes me come.
00:33:39
Speaker
Have you told him you want to orgasm?
00:33:41
Speaker
My boyfriend, you know, leaves skid marks in the toilet.
00:33:44
Speaker
Have you told him to clean the toilet?
00:33:46
Speaker
They know, like they know that what they're doing is shitty, no pun intended.
00:33:50
Speaker
They just don't care.
00:33:51
Speaker
Yeah, they want to wait till you bring it up and then say you're nagging them, right?
00:33:55
Speaker
Or that like make you the bad guy.
00:33:56
Speaker
It's just a very passive aggressive tactic to get out of taking care of business, whatever that business is.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:02
Speaker
And even if he doesn't know, as a partner, it's not your job to bring up your partner and teach them the basics of how to function as a decent human being.
00:34:11
Speaker
That's not your job as a partner.
00:34:12
Speaker
That was the job of his parents, but as a grown adult, he should then take it upon himself to learn how to do that if he's deficient in that area or areas.
00:34:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:22
Speaker
And it's tough because I know everyone's level of cleanliness or cleaning habits are somewhat different.
00:34:28
Speaker
I mean, but they know you're annoyed by it is the thing.
00:34:30
Speaker
If you're not saying anything, that's different.
00:34:32
Speaker
Like if you're cool with that, if you're cool being messy or whatever, you know, Rose said everybody's tolerance is different, but he knows that it bothers you.
00:34:40
Speaker
They know.
00:34:41
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, when it comes to like, well, I don't, I guess I'm separating in my mind the difference between like him treating you well and then also like him just having like bad personal grooming habits.
00:34:53
Speaker
Because some guys are just slovenly and it's not even a personal statement on you.
00:34:58
Speaker
That's just...
00:34:59
Speaker
the way that they are, even though it's easy to take personal.
00:35:02
Speaker
So I almost want to say a grown man should know the basics of ethical treatment of others.
00:35:07
Speaker
And if he's going to live with other people, he should have enough respect for the other people he lives with, including you, to try to make that environment comfortable.
00:35:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:16
Speaker
And that actually leads very nicely onto number seven as well.
00:35:19
Speaker
A man who is serious about you will do what it takes to make you happy.
00:35:22
Speaker
A man who is not serious about you will only do what he feels like doing to make you happy.
00:35:27
Speaker
What he feels like doing to make you happy.
00:35:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:30
Speaker
So again, so going back to the wash example, if a guy truly wants to make you happy and he cares about you, he would sort his hygiene out.
00:35:39
Speaker
Like if you pulled it up with him or whatever, he would sort it out.
00:35:42
Speaker
But a guy who isn't as serious about you, basically they will only do as much as they feel like doing, even if that results in you still being dissatisfied, just to say, well, I've done something.
00:35:54
Speaker
So they might, I don't know, use deodorant as opposed to actually having a shower, for example.
00:35:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:01
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I've had this happen with any new relationship I have.
00:36:05
Speaker
There's always like little idiosyncrasies that you find out about each other's likes and dislikes, right?
00:36:10
Speaker
Things that are very, very minor.
00:36:11
Speaker
And again, I don't think it's a huge deal to like, you know, make little concessions here and there.
00:36:18
Speaker
If it just makes that person happy, like you obviously shouldn't be changing your entire lifestyle or changing who you are to make a guy happy.
00:36:24
Speaker
But when it comes to like very minor things, if a man can't even make an effort to do that, I mean, something very simple.
00:36:30
Speaker
Like I remember just having a conversation about like about sex before I actually had sex with this guy.
00:36:34
Speaker
And we were talking about like trimming pubes.
00:36:36
Speaker
And I was like, well, I just don't want it to be like, you know, just keep it like respectful is basically what I said.
00:36:42
Speaker
Like you don't have to be all clean shaven or whatever.
00:36:45
Speaker
But you know, like if I'm going to go down there, you know, just keep it, you know, trimmed up and oiled up nice and like a pleasant place that someone would want to stick their face.
00:36:55
Speaker
Okay.
00:36:56
Speaker
And so when we had sex, that's what I found right now.
00:36:59
Speaker
If he had made no effort and I was in the middle of like trying to have sex with this guy and I'm looking at again, a weed, you know, an unkept lawn in front of an abandoned house situation with his dick.
00:37:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:11
Speaker
That's disrespect.
00:37:12
Speaker
That's a person who has not done the bare minimum of something that would make you happy, right?
00:37:17
Speaker
Again, this is not the same as men being like, oh, you have to wax your vagina bald and like these like weird, absurd porn standards.
00:37:24
Speaker
But like, you know, basic grooming.
00:37:26
Speaker
Just being a tidy, that's fair.
00:37:28
Speaker
Being tidy, like even if you're writing in the car together, like...
00:37:31
Speaker
I mean, there's so many like little things like that.
00:37:33
Speaker
If you're in a relationship, certain stations that you really don't like listening to, like if he's observant about that, right.
00:37:39
Speaker
It's like, you'll find something that both of you like listening to.
00:37:41
Speaker
If you like the car window open, if you like, you know, he'll just sort of be observant to some of these smaller things that make you happy, you know, that are minor at the end of the day.
00:37:50
Speaker
And if,
00:37:50
Speaker
The little things like that, I think are indicative.
00:37:53
Speaker
If he can remember those things and are putting effort into making you happy and just doing them because they make you happy, even if they're not like, even if they don't make sense to him, that's an indicative that he's going to try to make you happy versus a guy who is only doing what he feels like you should have.
00:38:08
Speaker
Right.
00:38:08
Speaker
And if a guy's at a point where he's like, well, I don't like this for you, or I don't agree with this.
00:38:14
Speaker
And like, I had a guy rearrange the furniture.
00:38:17
Speaker
in my place, which is like, it was a little bizarre, but I don't know, still don't completely understand what that was about.
00:38:23
Speaker
But that was a situation where it was like, he felt like it should be a certain way, even though it made me unhappy.
00:38:28
Speaker
Right.
00:38:28
Speaker
Because I'm like, this doesn't make sense for my work life flow.
00:38:31
Speaker
Like I have it set up in a certain way that works for me.
00:38:34
Speaker
Like, why are you doing this?
00:38:35
Speaker
But you know, stuff like that.
00:38:36
Speaker
So number eight, it is possible for a man to marry or have a long-term relationship with a woman he has no feelings for.
00:38:44
Speaker
So this one is...
00:38:47
Speaker
a tough pill to swallow.
00:38:48
Speaker
Because again, we've been taught, and I guess as it should be, that if a guy is with you for a long time or if he marries you, that that means that he really loves you, wants to be with you and have feelings and has feelings for you.
00:39:01
Speaker
But the truth of the matter is, that's not always the case.
00:39:04
Speaker
And this is why I think that
00:39:07
Speaker
If you want to get married, that is absolutely okay.
00:39:10
Speaker
I think marriage for some people, it's a great thing.
00:39:13
Speaker
However, you have to be aware and cautious of the fact that the person or people may not be marrying for the same reasons as you.
00:39:23
Speaker
So you might marry, only consider marrying somebody because you love them.
00:39:27
Speaker
A guy might consider marrying you because you're the only one that's available.
00:39:32
Speaker
Right.
00:39:32
Speaker
Because women come with built-in benefits in a way that men don't.
00:39:35
Speaker
Once again, women have standards because, and higher standards because men are, if they don't meet those standards, it tend to be a liability.
00:39:42
Speaker
So a lot of men will just have women around for what, what's it called?
00:39:47
Speaker
Free pussy subscription or a mommy McBang med, right?
00:39:50
Speaker
Because it gives them a lot of actual tangible benefits to have women around.
00:39:55
Speaker
It's easier to get other women if you have a woman around.
00:39:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:58
Speaker
Right.
00:39:59
Speaker
Like just having a girlfriend makes it easier for you to get other girlfriends.
00:40:03
Speaker
There's just this, you know, this energy about when a woman chooses a man and like starts to invest in him and like makes him better than that gives him confidence, et cetera, et cetera.
Inequality in Relationship Dynamics
00:40:11
Speaker
Whereas like there's just not a whole lot of reciprocity on the under end and vice versa, where.
00:40:16
Speaker
having a man around isn't necessarily like inherently better than being single.
00:40:21
Speaker
So I think women tend to be naive about this because you would think to yourself like, well, if he didn't like me, he wouldn't have me around like this.
00:40:26
Speaker
And it's like, well, if you didn't, then you wouldn't, right?
00:40:29
Speaker
Because like men don't have any value to you.
00:40:31
Speaker
But like just having a woman around helps that guy a lot more than not.
00:40:36
Speaker
Even if you hate him, if you're just around him.
00:40:40
Speaker
Like it's just, that's the weird thing about it.
00:40:42
Speaker
Like just having a female presence is looked at as a cosine.
00:40:45
Speaker
And he'll think once again, I think like the previous thing we said, okay, well, if you wouldn't keep taking me back, if you didn't see value in me in some way.
00:40:52
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:40:54
Speaker
Stay woke queens.
00:40:56
Speaker
And just be aware of that.
00:40:57
Speaker
I think that not everybody gets into long term relationships for the same reason.
00:41:02
Speaker
And just making sure that if you are somebody who wants to marry for love, that you see the markers of that from your partner as well.
00:41:08
Speaker
And you don't start feeling inertial, feeling taken for granted or anything like that.
00:41:13
Speaker
Women tend to stay in relationships out of shame from society about singleness or because they're being emotionally manipulated and like triangulated to the point where they're so emotionally enmeshed, they can't see that they're not benefiting.
00:41:25
Speaker
That's completely different than why men stay in relationships.
00:41:29
Speaker
I think was it a divorce lawyer on Twitter.
00:41:32
Speaker
There was a really interesting thread that she wrote and she said she's never dealt with a divorce case where the man didn't already have another woman lined up.
00:41:39
Speaker
And she was basically saying that men tend to only leave relationships when they have another woman to go to.
00:41:44
Speaker
Yeah, because having a woman around benefits them, even when they hate them, period.
00:41:49
Speaker
So they generally won't give that up for singleness.
00:41:51
Speaker
They'll give that up if they can secure another woman.
00:41:53
Speaker
So, also I think it's why it's on you sometimes as a woman to just break up when things are going south because men won't.
00:42:03
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:42:05
Speaker
Exactly.
00:42:05
Speaker
You can't rely on a guy to break up for you.
00:42:08
Speaker
And I've seen this logic being bandied around where women have literally said, well, if you don't want to be with me, he could always leave.
00:42:14
Speaker
And it's like, yeah, he could, but he still stands, like Ro said, he still stands to benefit from keeping you around in some form, even if he doesn't want to be with you.
00:42:23
Speaker
So again, women just have to sometimes take the lead on this and just cut it at the root and just cut him off.
00:42:28
Speaker
You need to cut it.
00:42:30
Speaker
All right.
00:42:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:34
Speaker
Was that the Nollywood thing?
00:42:35
Speaker
Was that... No, it's a rap song.
00:42:39
Speaker
I wish I could remember the rest of the verses, but... It's because I watched it.
00:42:42
Speaker
I watched... Like, someone said a similar thing in, like, a Nollywood film.
00:42:46
Speaker
It was basically, like, a rip-off of Tupac.
00:42:48
Speaker
It was really bad.
00:42:49
Speaker
And then he had, like, a bill that was, like, you know, three million naira.
00:42:53
Speaker
And he was like, three million naira?
00:42:55
Speaker
You have to cut it!
00:42:56
Speaker
Cut, cut, cut!
00:42:58
Speaker
And started doing the scissors motion.
00:42:59
Speaker
That was where I thought you'd watched him from.
00:43:01
Speaker
LAUGHTER
00:43:03
Speaker
Yeah, it's a rap song.
00:43:06
Speaker
International.
00:43:07
Speaker
I see that.
00:43:08
Speaker
I get it now.
00:43:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:11
Speaker
Number nine, men who are willing to go 50-50 do not care about equality because 50-50 is still not equal.
00:43:18
Speaker
Yeah, 50-50 sounds equal when you say it out because you think 50-50 both are the same numbers.
00:43:23
Speaker
But in reality, men who suggest 50-50 are ripping you off and they know this.
00:43:27
Speaker
Because they know that even if, say, the bills are 50-50, the woman will still be doing the majority of the housework and the cooking and looking after the children.
00:43:36
Speaker
So they don't care about equality.
00:43:38
Speaker
That is the number one sign that, to me, if a guy says we're going to split it 50-50, he doesn't care about equality.
00:43:45
Speaker
Ugh, next, dude.
00:43:47
Speaker
And it's the next.
00:43:47
Speaker
He doesn't even, he's not even trying to make it fair for the woman.
00:43:51
Speaker
He's not trying to impress you.
00:43:52
Speaker
And he's not trying to make it even equitable or comfortable for you because the woman, it's more like, you know, 50-50 is more like 25-75 when it comes down to it.
00:44:02
Speaker
Broke, stingy men make my vagina dry up.
00:44:04
Speaker
And like any guy that starts off with that energy is just, just don't engage, right?
00:44:10
Speaker
Thing is, it's like in the UK, I really feel bad for women here because 50-50 is like the norm.
00:44:15
Speaker
Like every 50-50, like it's literally down to the pennies.
00:44:18
Speaker
Like it's so ingrained in UK culture to split everything 50-50.
00:44:23
Speaker
Again, going back to the economic climate and how expensive it is to rent and buy.
00:44:27
Speaker
But
00:44:28
Speaker
you know, women need to recognise that y'all need to recognise that 50-50 is not a good deal for women.
00:44:33
Speaker
It's a good deal for men because they are still doing comparatively a lot less.
00:44:37
Speaker
And, you know, men, they work out the maths as well.
00:44:39
Speaker
They know they're ripping you off because they know if they were to get an escort, a chef, a personal assistant, a nanny, a diary scheduler, that would cost a lot more money.
00:44:49
Speaker
And so when they go 50-50, they know they're ripping you off because they get to pay 50% of the bills, but you'll be doing 100% of all that extra work for them.
00:44:58
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:44:59
Speaker
Like the reason why they're so open to the 50-50 model is because it benefits them greatly.
00:45:04
Speaker
It benefits them.
00:45:05
Speaker
And they can argue because obviously it deals with numbers, but they can say, well, I pay half and that's it.
00:45:11
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:45:12
Speaker
Whereas things like domestic labor, even though it's very important, but the work that women primarily do in the household is a lot more difficult to quantify.
00:45:20
Speaker
That's why men can get away with doing fuck all.
00:45:22
Speaker
Yeah, I always look at it too, as if you're engaging in any type of business venture with another person, you have to factor in things like opportunity cost, which is always risk and opportunity cost, right?
00:45:34
Speaker
So risk for women is always higher.
00:45:36
Speaker
Like dealing with a man, you're much more likely to be, to suffer violence on the head.
00:45:41
Speaker
and especially fatal violence from a man than vice versa men are from women.
00:45:45
Speaker
Then you have opportunity costs.
00:45:46
Speaker
Like women have a smaller fertility window.
00:45:49
Speaker
Like you just can't afford to waste nearly as much time in shitty relationships as men can, right?
00:45:53
Speaker
Not by much.
00:45:54
Speaker
Like I think men maybe have like another five or six years where they tend to be attractive enough
00:45:59
Speaker
Good quality sperm.
00:46:00
Speaker
Yeah, good quality sperm and tend to be like attractive enough to attract someone younger to have children with.
00:46:05
Speaker
But at the same time, like you have to be aware of that as a woman because it's going to cost you more to waste your time more and to go 50-50 because your risks are higher and your rewards are lower and your opportunity cost is higher than men.
00:46:17
Speaker
Like, so the 50-50 model does not make sense when you have such stark physical, biological differences, right?
00:46:23
Speaker
And then just think about the fact that even in careers, like the motherhood tax, like if you were to have a child, more than likely your earning potential is going to be tanked and his isn't, right?
00:46:31
Speaker
That's just
00:46:32
Speaker
the way that it is.
00:46:33
Speaker
So when you're talking about 50-50, you're setting yourself up either up front or down the road to take a massive L for it to actually be, quite frankly, mostly 75%.
00:46:42
Speaker
Like you're absorbing all of the risk and very little of the actual benefit and reward.
00:46:47
Speaker
So yeah, just be aware of that.
00:46:50
Speaker
Next, number 10, men with more money are not necessarily going to be more generous.
00:46:55
Speaker
So this was more tossed into the people that, or to the women that want to, I guess, buy into this idea that I want to find a rich man who will spoil me.
00:47:05
Speaker
Yes, that's always an ideal.
00:47:07
Speaker
And if you want it, go for it.
00:47:09
Speaker
But just be mindful that if you think about it, rich people do not become rich by being generous.
00:47:16
Speaker
They become rich generally by being very, very strict in how they manage their money.
00:47:21
Speaker
And let's face it, by hoarding wealth for the most part.
00:47:25
Speaker
I mean, I can't get over the fact that Nick Cannon's baby mom, or at least one of them, couldn't even ask him to help her pay for a nanny.
00:47:32
Speaker
Yeah, and I can't get over the fact that Elon Musk, you know Grimes, he's not even like paying her music for her music career or paying, is it child?
00:47:41
Speaker
I think he's paying child support, but it's something ridiculous.
00:47:43
Speaker
But he's literally just bought Twitter for 44 billion dollars.
00:47:46
Speaker
Yeah, the thing about this is that like, just because he's rich, if he's not actually investing in you, it's pretty much useless, right?
00:47:53
Speaker
You have to understand that like, just being around a rich man does not like automatically give you anything.
00:48:01
Speaker
I want to almost do like a full post about this and like show all the women who took massive L's dealing with rich men and got nothing from it, but abuse.
00:48:08
Speaker
So like a man who is rich is only valuable insofar as his wealth translates to tangible assets and benefits to you.
00:48:16
Speaker
or at the bare minimum connections, right?
00:48:18
Speaker
The only time I've seen a woman like come out on top is if like it's some kind of reality TV show or something where she's fucking a rich guy and like her entire brand now becomes like a real housewife or a basketball wife or something like that, where now they're making money from being associated with that rich man on like Bravo or VH1 or something like that.
00:48:36
Speaker
But it's not because that man's giving them shit.
00:48:38
Speaker
Right.
00:48:40
Speaker
So in fact, when you listen to a lot of these women, they're forever broken, struggling outside of their check that they get from the reality show.
00:48:47
Speaker
Cause they'll be like, Oh, my ex-husband or my boyfriend cut me off.
00:48:50
Speaker
He's not paying child support.
00:48:51
Speaker
You won't pay for a nanny.
00:48:52
Speaker
And they're always like begging for crumbs from these guys that like they're associated with.
00:48:57
Speaker
And it's like, so you did all this work to be associated with this man.
00:49:01
Speaker
And he's like nickel and diming.
00:49:02
Speaker
You won't pay child support.
00:49:04
Speaker
I mean, you look at Tristan Thompson, like how he's treated the women that he's gotten pregnant.
00:49:08
Speaker
Even Chloe, but even the women outside of Chloe, like they're not getting anything from being associated with him.
00:49:13
Speaker
Yeah, it's better to be with a guy who earns 50,000 pounds or dollars a year, but is generous and will do his best to provide for you than it is to marry or to get with a broke, stingy millionaire.
00:49:27
Speaker
If you're going to marry him like you, then it's a little bit different.
00:49:30
Speaker
But if you're just with a guy and he's like not, but it tends to be that if he's going to include you on his assets, then he will start doing that early on in the relationship.
00:49:38
Speaker
Right.
00:49:38
Speaker
There's not like he doesn't suddenly go from like a broke, stingy, screw to a completely generous guy after you get married.
00:49:43
Speaker
And generosity, ultimately, is a mindset.
00:49:45
Speaker
It's not really related to how much money somebody has.
00:49:48
Speaker
I mean, capacity to be generous increases when there's wealth, but capacity doesn't translate into action.
00:49:54
Speaker
And even with marriage, these rich men, they get strict prenups.
00:49:57
Speaker
I mean, prenups aren't as...
00:49:59
Speaker
popular in the UK because the general thing is 50-50 here.
00:50:03
Speaker
But some of them, like the guy who founded Snapchat and Miranda Kerr, they end up signing a crippling prenup, basically leaving them with nothing if anything goes wrong.
00:50:12
Speaker
So, I mean, generosity and being rich, they're not, basically don't conflate the two.
00:50:16
Speaker
They're separate things.
00:50:17
Speaker
And I think men like to believe that, oh, you know, the broke men who have done enough money at the moment, like Rose said, if I become rich one day, I'll provide for my shawty.
00:50:26
Speaker
Yeah, she won't have, you know, she'll have everything.
00:50:28
Speaker
And it's not true because giving is a mindset.
00:50:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:31
Speaker
I mean, I'm allergic to the spirit of broke and stingy.
00:50:34
Speaker
Just exercise it from my life.
Personality Consistency and Red Flags
00:50:38
Speaker
Like just literally just makes me break out in hives.
00:50:40
Speaker
Like I can't deal.
00:50:42
Speaker
If he's like that broke, he's going to be like that when he's rich.
00:50:44
Speaker
Like these guys are not a miser is a miser.
00:50:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's a mindset.
00:50:49
Speaker
Doesn't mean he's stupid with his money, but it means that he knows how to spend it to create experiences and with people he values, right?
00:50:57
Speaker
All right.
00:50:58
Speaker
So number 11, a man is on his best behavior in the early stages of the relationship.
00:51:04
Speaker
So this one was sort of inspired by my conversations with, again, people who've been married for a long time.
00:51:09
Speaker
So like my parents, my sister now, she's been married for almost a decade and her friends who are married
00:51:15
Speaker
And what they said was really interesting.
00:51:16
Speaker
And they often said, so my parents, for example, they've just celebrated their 40th anniversary.
00:51:21
Speaker
And when I was asking my dad, what is something wasn't told about marriage?
00:51:25
Speaker
And he basically said that the way, you know, your mom or, you know, my mom was in the beginning is almost exactly the way she is now.
00:51:33
Speaker
And so obviously she's changed over the years, but the fundamentals are still there.
00:51:38
Speaker
And this is after being together for 40 years.
00:51:40
Speaker
So when women, you know, get with a guy, you know, they see a guy and he's not behaving the way they expect at the beginning, but they think that sticking around is going to somehow change that.
00:51:51
Speaker
It's like, no.
00:51:52
Speaker
And also, if you think about it as well, when I, you know, when my friends, you know, when they come to me and say, look, you know, he's got this really annoying habit in the beginning.
00:52:00
Speaker
Like, how can I get him to change?
00:52:01
Speaker
I always say, if you think about a habit that you have, so for example, I can't sit still.
00:52:06
Speaker
Like now I'm like rocking in my chair.
00:52:08
Speaker
I just can't sit still.
00:52:09
Speaker
Right.
00:52:09
Speaker
If somebody said to me, you need to stop doing that, that would be really difficult for me because I'm used to doing it.
00:52:14
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:52:15
Speaker
It's not easy to get people, especially bad habits that have been ingrained and reinforced over time.
00:52:23
Speaker
It's not easy to get somebody to break the habit.
00:52:25
Speaker
So basically it's very long winded, long winded way of saying that the person that you see at the beginning of the relationship is likely the best you're going to get out of him.
00:52:33
Speaker
Act accordingly.
00:52:34
Speaker
Right.
00:52:34
Speaker
And I always ask myself, if nothing changed about this guy or this relationship, would I still be happy?
00:52:39
Speaker
If the answer is no, I then know that it's time to leave.
00:52:43
Speaker
Because, you know, you can't really spend your life betting on potential, hoping that somebody is going to have a personality transplant before you're happy in the relationship.
00:52:51
Speaker
Again, that doesn't work out.
00:52:53
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's also, I mean, keeping this in mind, it will also help you weed out red flags because remember, this is him trying not to trigger you or display red flags at the beginning of a relationship.
00:53:04
Speaker
So that's why we say a lot of the times things that you think are negligible at the beginning of a relationship are actually deal breakers, you know, because there's only one option for them to get worse over time.
00:53:15
Speaker
At least I've never heard of it or even seen it.
00:53:18
Speaker
I don't think where someone displayed something that was like a red flag ish.
00:53:22
Speaker
And then, you know, it wasn't like some kind of compliance test that didn't actively get worse later on in the relationship when a guy feels like, you know, he can let go.
00:53:29
Speaker
And again, it's counterproductive, like the antidote and the cure for shitty men.
00:53:34
Speaker
You know, one of the ways we can root them out in society is to not reward them with our continued presence and love and affection when they fuck up.
00:53:42
Speaker
But, so I don't understand the logic how if...
00:53:46
Speaker
You know, when women say, oh, he's really deficient in this area, but if I stick around and continue to give him, you know, love, sex, attention or whatever, then he's going to want to change.
00:53:56
Speaker
When actually that's just reinforcing the behaviour.
00:53:59
Speaker
Because as we said in one of the previous truths is that he's going to think, well, if I'm that bad, then why are you still here?
00:54:08
Speaker
And a guy's actually asked me that question before.
00:54:10
Speaker
And again, I felt like Bibi the Fool because as scroaty as he was, he had a point.
00:54:16
Speaker
They tell on themselves, it's the worst.
00:54:19
Speaker
And man, I can think of like a particularly humiliating situation where a man tells you about himself explicitly, right?
00:54:28
Speaker
Because you're engaging in good faith and then a man gets so frustrated with you actually giving him the benefit of the doubt that he actually tells you he's not shit.
00:54:35
Speaker
Like that makes you feel mad stupid, doesn't it?
00:54:38
Speaker
Yeah, it does.
00:54:39
Speaker
Yeah, that happened to me.
00:54:40
Speaker
I don't know if it's like guilt or it's just like they just at some point just are...
00:54:45
Speaker
You just literally like just start, I'm just like, I'm just going to go and apply for the circus because even this guy thinks I'm stupid for putting up with him.
00:54:52
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:54:55
Speaker
Like when you bring up a thing a man does and his first response is like, oh, stop being a victim.
00:55:00
Speaker
You knew I was going to be like this or something like that where they turn it around.
00:55:04
Speaker
Why don't you just leave then?
00:55:05
Speaker
Right.
00:55:06
Speaker
That tends to be indicative that they know and you're engaging in good faith in ways that you shouldn't.
Friendship Influence on Character
00:55:12
Speaker
Okay, so number 12, the final point in this episode, a man's friends and who he chooses to hang around with says a lot about him and his values.
00:55:20
Speaker
So in terms of this one, I wanted to draw attention to a common refrain that, you know, let's say a guy is a decent person, so to speak, but he hangs around with people who are known to be misogynist, rapist, abusers or whatever, basically very unsavoury characters.
00:55:35
Speaker
That to me is an indictment on his character, because if he really had a problem with that behaviour, then he would cut those people off.
00:55:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:43
Speaker
I mean, this is part of growing up.
00:55:45
Speaker
You outgrow some friend groups and your friend group is either going to drag you down or support you.
00:55:49
Speaker
Right.
00:55:50
Speaker
And so, I mean, to me, watching Love is Blind and then watching like Shake's friends and then like how douchey they all were and reinforcing his terrible attitude.
00:55:59
Speaker
That's just the kind of thing you'll see with men who are low value is they tend to kind of all hang out with each other, have similarly disgusting viewpoints.
00:56:06
Speaker
Otherwise, why would they hang out?
00:56:08
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:56:09
Speaker
And it's like, I think that was a really, really good quote that was, I think it was initially about Nazis, but they adapted it to abusive men.
00:56:19
Speaker
And it's like, if you have, say, you know, 10 abusive men around a table, and then, you know, one non-abusive man who doesn't say anything, you've actually got 11 abusive men around the room.
00:56:31
Speaker
It's not just about, you know, necessarily perpetuating bad behaviour, but it's also not saying anything.
00:56:38
Speaker
And, you know, when bad behaviour is being committed and, you know, in a similar vein to how I've said that a huge part of the resistance against abusive, you know, men in interpersonal relationships is to not reward them with our time and attention.
00:56:50
Speaker
Similarly, that applies for friendships as well, like social isolation.
00:56:54
Speaker
is part of the solution.
00:56:55
Speaker
Because if you are around somebody who is doing something shitty and you're still continuing to be their friend, reward them, you are almost co-signing what they're doing.
00:57:06
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, this is patriarchy in action.
00:57:07
Speaker
It's where men either actively support or maintain their silence when other men behave badly.
00:57:13
Speaker
Right.
00:57:13
Speaker
And it's a way to keep you under control.
00:57:15
Speaker
It's strategic.
00:57:15
Speaker
It's strategically because they'll speak up when awards them brownie points or makes people believe they're a feminist.
00:57:21
Speaker
So they have access to more women.
00:57:23
Speaker
So, yeah, strategic silence.
00:57:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:25
Speaker
I mean, and it's scary because if you've ever been, again, red flags actually for abuse.
00:57:30
Speaker
If you've ever been in a relationship with a man who has friends like that, they will be the first ones to gaslight you about his behavior and or cover for him if he's abusive in any type of way.
00:57:40
Speaker
So I actually find this to be a bigger red flag.
00:57:42
Speaker
And the quality of a man's friends to me is,
00:57:44
Speaker
is such a huge, huge, huge, huge red flag.
00:57:47
Speaker
Unless he's got like a charity case friend that he kind of knows is a charity case.
00:57:50
Speaker
There's a really funny Twitter trend and Twitter thread about like finding out your man's not the leader of the group, right?
00:57:57
Speaker
So if you ever dated a guy and then you find out he has a friend who is the leader of the group, but he's like...
00:58:03
Speaker
A massive douchebag.
00:58:05
Speaker
Extreme red flag.
00:58:06
Speaker
If he has a friend that's kind of a douchebag, but nobody in the group respects him, but just kind of, you know, keeps it around so he doesn't off himself.
00:58:13
Speaker
Then you kind of look at it like, okay, well, he's doing charity work.
00:58:15
Speaker
He's like kind of a shitty friend.
00:58:20
Speaker
It's a charity case.
00:58:21
Speaker
Keeping someone alive.
00:58:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:24
Speaker
But like, if he's the type of guy that has like, oh, sorry, I'm just like, I'm having like my skin's crawling thinking about these type of guys.
00:58:31
Speaker
You'll see this a lot in like insular male groups too, like for
00:58:35
Speaker
fraternities.
00:58:35
Speaker
Let me think of another situation, like sometimes sports clubs or whatever, where they have like interpersonal group dynamics.
00:58:42
Speaker
And then one of the guys is like wants to belong so bad that he'll basically, he's just perpetuating every single like patriarchal stereotype.
00:58:50
Speaker
You know, he'll be the loudest like denigrating women, like those type of guys, they want too bad to be accepted by these men.
00:58:55
Speaker
And they don't know how to like stand against the crowd and or also definitely won't protect you against, you know, any crowd of
00:59:02
Speaker
Like it's just one of those things like they're trying to build solidarity with other men at your expense and you will lose in that situation.
00:59:09
Speaker
So if you see a guy and first of all, he's like, he's a wannabe in that group.
00:59:13
Speaker
Just don't even like he's a pussy scavenger.
00:59:15
Speaker
Oh God, pussy scavenger, pussy scavenger energy.
00:59:19
Speaker
Also allergic to that.
00:59:21
Speaker
We need to deconstruct the pussy scavenger in greater detail because you've been dropping hints about pussy scavenger all year.
00:59:27
Speaker
But we need to get the DL on these pussy scavengers because I'm curious.
00:59:31
Speaker
Well, pussy scavengers are never the leader of their group.
00:59:34
Speaker
Like pussy scavengers are the guys that are hangers on trying to get like, yeah, they're trying to scavenge pussy that falls from the crumbs of the mouths of the more like accomplished, successful, attractive, pro-social men.
00:59:44
Speaker
Of the pack.
00:59:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:59:46
Speaker
Yeah, they tend to be the weird, creepy friend of the group.
00:59:48
Speaker
So yeah, you don't want a guy with pussy scavenger energy.
00:59:51
Speaker
So when you're watching his friends and you don't want a guy who's going to like reflexively defend his friends over you because that's never, that doesn't bode well for the future of your relationship and his willingness to commit to you and build their relationship with you.
01:00:05
Speaker
Because like at the end of the day, like his friends aren't going to cup his balls and push out his kids.
01:00:08
Speaker
So fuck his friends.
01:00:09
Speaker
You know what I mean?
01:00:10
Speaker
Like this is the thing about male friendships.
01:00:11
Speaker
Like some of them are so useless that you wonder like why they're so committed to...
01:00:16
Speaker
the solidarity other than like the misogyny aspect of it and the control of women aspect of it and similarly speaking as well another point if a guy's friends pulled you to one size and says this guy ain't shit i would take that message seriously basically because he broke code and you know yeah like there's a reason that they're breaking ranks so to speak to warn you about him so i would take that message very very seriously
01:00:42
Speaker
New episode idea.
01:00:44
Speaker
What you can tell about a man from his friend group.
01:00:47
Speaker
Put that on the docket.
01:00:48
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:49
Speaker
The pussy scavengers.
01:00:50
Speaker
Yeah, we could talk about the pussy scavengers.
01:00:54
Speaker
The covert abusers.
01:00:57
Speaker
There's certain times when we bring up certain aspects of men and my skin just
Closing Remarks
01:01:00
Speaker
crawls.
01:01:00
Speaker
Like pussy scavengers are one of them.
01:01:02
Speaker
Like they're whole energy.
01:01:04
Speaker
I'll have to think of some celebrity examples because like you'll know what I'm talking about when I point it out.
01:01:08
Speaker
It's just the opposite of big dick energy.
01:01:10
Speaker
So, all right.
01:01:12
Speaker
That's the show.
01:01:13
Speaker
Let us know what you think on our forum at thefemaledatingstrategy.com forward slash forum.
01:01:18
Speaker
Also check out Patreon, patreon.com forward slash thefemaledatingstrategy for weekly bonus content.
01:01:22
Speaker
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01:01:25
Speaker
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01:01:26
Speaker
So please submit your stories for that.
01:01:29
Speaker
Also follow us on Twitter at femedatstrat and on Instagram at underscore thefemaledatingstrategy.
01:01:35
Speaker
Thanks for listening, Queens.
01:01:36
Speaker
And for all you Scroats out there, I'm allergic to you.
01:01:39
Speaker
Ew.
01:01:39
Speaker
I too...
01:01:41
Speaker
See you next week, ladies.
01:01:43
Speaker
See y'all next week.