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When Your Voice Fails: The Power of Presence
37 Plays1 year ago
In this week's episode, I discuss understanding the weight and influence our words carry. Whether you have physically lost your voice like me or still need to remember the power of your voice, this episode is for you!
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Transcript
Introduction to United Not Uniform Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
You are listening to the United Not Uniform podcast. I am your host, Crystal. The purpose of this podcast is to have intentional spaces that allow and celebrate difference. Difference of opinion, experience, and more. In this podcast, we will be able to truly hear and see one another, even when we disagree.
00:00:19
Speaker
What would it look like if we were truly able to see one another? To set aside fear, insecurity, and doubt? To be willing to embrace the silence and let words carry their full weight? If that sounds fun, or at least a tiny bit interesting, you are in the right place. Together, we will grow as we discuss different topics, hear other stories, and have a few laughs along the way.
00:00:44
Speaker
Welcome to United Not Uniform where there is more than enough space for us to be seen and to see others.
Crystal's Return and the Power of Words
00:00:54
Speaker
It is so good to be back with you all. I'm sure many of you guys can tell I'm a little bit more raspy than before. We've been joking of adding it to my an alternate ego or something but
00:01:12
Speaker
It is so good to be back. So last week, I completely lost my voice. I was out with a friend for dinner. We were catching up. Everything was fine. I had gotten over a cold earlier that week, but all of a sudden she noticed that it was getting harder and harder to hear me. And by the end of the night, I was just squeaking.
00:01:39
Speaker
By Sunday, my voice was completely gone. I had to whisper to say anything. Now, it was kind of funny, the timing of it, because I was supposed to be hosting Sunday service, right? That following week, I had a whole bunch of different meetings and events, and I had an event that I had been working for for quite some time called Soup, Stews, and Stories, which we'll get into a little bit later.
00:02:09
Speaker
But here I am without a voice, without the main way in which I used to communicate. And this time of unplanned, unwanted silence really had me think about a couple of things. One, the power of our words.
00:02:35
Speaker
I was really thinking about, especially when you're not able to speak, how I take even having and being able to use my voice for granted. Um, I don't think about, I don't know about you guys. Sometimes you may say things, you will respond to things, um, without really understanding the weight and influence your words have. Right. And.
00:03:03
Speaker
as a person that is trying to be one that lives with intention, right? It really had me think about the weight of my words in a new way, especially since I couldn't use them.
Insights from Fasting and Silence
00:03:20
Speaker
The second way that I really, um, or the second thing that really stood out to me
00:03:26
Speaker
I'm in a period right now of fasting and when you fast, excuse me, let me clarify, when you are praying and fasting and spending time with God, you start to sense things a little bit clearer, right? The Spirit, Holy Spirit is a little bit clearer and the things that you might've been blind to really open your eyes. And in this time of unwanted,
00:03:56
Speaker
undesired, unplanned silence. Um, I had to sit in that silence of what the Holy Spirit was revealing to me. And it was interesting how you'll see one thing or notice one thing and it seems like a coincidence. You'll see it again and you're like, wow, that's like, hmm, seems a little bit odd.
00:04:21
Speaker
And then by the third time, you're kind of like, oh, snap, okay, something's going on here. And especially when it's not something that you like or you were running away from.
00:04:37
Speaker
As I was losing my, as I lost my voice and I would still try to communicate, I was very stubborn. So I would squeak. I would try to make noise. I would try to get my point across and nothing would come out or people would have to like lean in to hear me. And in this intentional time of silence, and I know that it's intentional,
00:05:02
Speaker
It really made me think about others who had been silenced in scripture. So the name Zacharias kept coming up in conversations whenever anyone would hear my voice silenced or struggling to talk.
00:05:20
Speaker
Now, for those who may not be familiar with Zacharias, he is the father of John the Baptist. So Zacharias is a priest, his wife Elizabeth is a descendant of Aaron, the original Levi priest, right? There's a lot of significance in the lineage of their family and even in the role that Zacharias is playing within the Jewish or Israel community.
00:05:49
Speaker
And Zacharias ends up losing his voice because of disbelief in what the angel of the Lord has come to reveal to him.
00:06:00
Speaker
Now, for those who kept saying, who obviously people keep mentioning Zacharias, it doesn't feel too good because you're like, what? I'm here. I'm doing all these things for God. I love God. Like, where is this coming from? But again, like I said, in a time of parent fasting, things are revealed that you are not aware of so that they can be addressed and corrected and you can move forward.
Self-Reflection on Beliefs and Singleness
00:06:26
Speaker
And I realized in this time of unplanned, unintentional, unwanted silence, that there were things I had been believing about myself, what I had been believing about God and how He viewed me, and what I was speaking over my life that was not aligned with what God had told me. Amen.
00:06:55
Speaker
So rather than allow me to keep speaking against the life that God has for me, I lost my voice. Now, when I'm talking about speaking against the life that God has for me, I'll put it into real terms. So, um, I am someone who has, uh, desired to be married to desire to have my own family for quite some time. If I'm being real, it's probably.
00:07:25
Speaker
been a decade and maybe some change since I've been in a serious relationship. I know.
00:07:33
Speaker
And I know throughout all these years there's been a lot of unlearning, a lot of course correction, a lot of unpacking the lies I've been believing about myself and re-establishing my identity and value rooted in Christ as opposed to what I could do or achieve in all of those things. But because even though God has affirmed
00:08:00
Speaker
my future family, the provision he has for me, because I have not seen it in a tangible way, it was hard for me to believe it. Now, especially around Christmas time where we love our families, we love our friends, and sometimes, you know, people have the best intentions, but they're very quick to ask, are you dating someone?
00:08:26
Speaker
Are you thinking about dating? Have you tried online dating? What's wrong with you? Why aren't you exploring these other options? Your standards are too high. Maybe you're too intimidating. Maybe, you know, you should try all these things as if because I am not performing enough is the reason why I'm single. Now, I know someone said an amen that's listening right now, and I want to say it right now. Your singleness.
00:08:54
Speaker
is not a punishment. It is not because you are not doing enough or being enough, right? It is not because you have no desire or you don't have value. So let's stop, let's be, again, with our words, always be intentional about how we speak over ourselves and others' lives, okay?
00:09:23
Speaker
So going back to this. So there were things that God had revealed to me in our quiet, prayerful time. And this is all before I started the fast, what I had said over myself happened before the fast. And I was just like, you know what, Lord, this is just not going to happen to me for me. You keep saying these things. Nothing is changing. Nothing is happening. It's just not happening. And a week later, I lose my voice.
00:09:55
Speaker
Now, some people may call it coincidence, some people may call it whatever they want. But in that moment, I'm glad that I was silenced rather than speaking against the promise that God has for me.
Lessons in Communication and Community
00:10:11
Speaker
The third thing that I really noticed in this time of self-reflection and really thinking about the power and the weight of my words was the fact that because I could not speak,
00:10:24
Speaker
Because I could not talk in the way that I wanted to, I had to rely on others to communicate. And I had to rely on other ways to communicate. So first, it made me very sensitive to our brothers and sisters in Christ who are maybe not able to speak
00:10:44
Speaker
or here, or might have any other disability that prevents them from communicating in a way that many of us are able to, or that we take for granted. Yes. And so that was very humbling and a very important moment to be mindful of the spaces that we are creating and how we are shaping space.
00:11:13
Speaker
Now having people speak for you, oh, that's hard. Now if you're like me and you're a talker, you know what you want to say, you know how you want to say it, and you don't want anybody else saying anything for you. You don't want people talking over you, you don't want people, like it's, it is very, there's a lot that we build around what we say and the influence that we have in our words, right?
00:11:41
Speaker
And what was such a beautiful moment for me, and again, this is now, I've lost my voice, I've started fasting, is that even in my silence when I could not speak, my words still carried, if not even more weight. I wasn't able to speak as frequently, which required me to think about what I was saying, how I wanted to say it.
00:12:11
Speaker
It also made me realize there's beauty and value in creating more space for others to talk and to listen in a way that is much deeper and intentional than I ever thought possible. And by doing that, even though I would speak in whispers, people were intentional about making sure my voice was heard.
00:12:40
Speaker
Now, if you are in a season where you feel unseen, unseen by people, unseen by, um, let's get even personal, unseen by friends, unseen by family, unseen at work. When there are moments where people are intentional about inviting you into the table, making sure your voice is heard, even if it's a whisper or a squeak.
00:13:11
Speaker
It shows not only the power of your words and the influence that you carry, but also the care and the love others have for you, the respect that others have for you. Now, somebody needed to hear that. Um, I know it was a lesson that I really needed to learn.
00:13:39
Speaker
in a season or space where I felt I was being ignored or unseen by God, here he is showing me without a voice how I am still able to connect with people, how I'm able to listen more intently and lovingly to others and how others are listening more intently and lovingly to me and my words.
Event Planning and Community Action
00:14:08
Speaker
To give you a bit of a more tangible example, this particular week, I have been building up an event called Soup Stewess and Stories. Now, the origination of this idea came from our affinity group. So at our church, we have the gifting, honestly, it feels, it is such a blessing that God has entrusted us with so much.
00:14:33
Speaker
And so in a congregation that is extremely diverse from nationalities, abilities, life experiences, geographic region, you name it, any type of diversity.
00:14:47
Speaker
in all times, right? God has entrusted us to steward. And part of that is having intentional spaces where we are making sure that all of the voices, all of the experiences are heard, that everybody is being discipled to love and act like Jesus, right?
00:15:06
Speaker
But also knowing that sometimes we need to have those smaller, more intimate spaces to unpack some of the lies that we've believed about ourselves, the hardships that we face with the hope and the intention that as people are being healed and restored, the rest of the larger congregation in the body, we're also changing and developing alongside them, right?
00:15:26
Speaker
And so when we were talking about coming into the season, especially when we're thinking about, um, you know, we've got Thanksgiving for those who can celebrate Thanksgiving. Again, I know Thanksgiving in particular is a very hard holiday because
00:15:44
Speaker
It's rooted in genocide, let's be real, but there's also memories and a culture that's been built around being a place of gratitude and thankfulness and spending time with family, right? So I want to acknowledge both of those. But there are big holidays that center around family, community,
00:16:05
Speaker
And not everybody, especially having a diverse congregation, especially having people who may be first generation immigrants, who maybe are here on scholarship or work visa, who can't necessarily go home, to find places of community as people travel, move, and leave, right?
00:16:26
Speaker
And being in the DMV, there's a lot of transition and movement. So there's a lot of different layers. And so in the summer, the different affinity groups that come together and wanted to do an event that brought all the affinity groups together, all the church people together, while also just embracing and enjoying fellowship and time with one another. And it started off as a chili contest.
00:16:53
Speaker
Now, I don't know about you guys, but it can get pretty heated, pun intended, when we are talking about doing a chili contest. But again, going back to my point about being entrusted to steward such a diverse congregation that is learning how to become one body in Christ,
00:17:15
Speaker
Not every culture or community is familiar with chili, right? That's not a common dish across the different experiences and cultures. So the title of soup, stews, and stories where people could make soup, they could make a stew, they could do hotpots, ramen, you name it, or chili. Chili didn't begin with an S so it didn't get included in the title, but chili was also included.
00:17:45
Speaker
And the fact that each dish that was submitted, the person would write a short story about the significance of this recipe, why it's important to them, and we would just come and be able to fellowship and enjoy a meal with one another.
00:18:00
Speaker
It wasn't about a program, it wasn't about putting someone in front of a mic, but rather how we can better understand and know each other's stories in new ways beyond just listening, but through taste, right?
00:18:20
Speaker
I don't have a voice. This event is coming together. I had just led our Sundays, led our hospitality ministry and our Sunday service, and we were getting ready for this event. And when I tell you we had over 70 plus people at this event, over 30 plus dishes at this event.
00:18:41
Speaker
ranging from chili to dishes from Belize, from a hot pot to different Korean stews and soups, to a variety of different and other Latino dishes. It was such a sweet time together, just having different people, different groups of people, different cultures represented, and also people who just came for a free meal, come on.
00:19:10
Speaker
but just to be able to embrace each other's culture, food, and to learn a little bit more about each other. And so while we're doing this event, I'm not even able to pray, y'all, over the food. I'm not able to share my heart for why we are doing this event in words, but it is felt through action.
00:19:32
Speaker
And because I cannot speak, but I've invited other people into the space, they are able to speak on my behalf in a way that conveys all the same warmth and heart.
00:19:45
Speaker
in such a more beautiful way than I could have ever imagined. But there was a woman who prayed over us and this food and this event and this season in a way that I, not saying that God couldn't use me to do, but it was just so much more profound coming from someone else.
00:20:02
Speaker
Right? And so as I'm regaining my voice, there are things that I am learning, that I have learned, that I'm holding on even as my voice recovers to better listen to the voices of others. I'm not talking about hearing, I'm talking about listening.
Expanding Storytelling Beyond Words
00:20:24
Speaker
The power of presence.
00:20:29
Speaker
that regardless of what you say or what you do, your presence conveys so much more than we realize.
00:20:41
Speaker
leading an event without being able to speak, but to make sure that every single person felt seen and welcomed and appreciated and loved, and to have other people be part of that that is being present. To walk by every single dish and hear the heart behind the construction of the dish, knowing that I wouldn't be able to talk as much as I wanted, but my heart and my appreciation for what they had done was felt, right?
00:21:12
Speaker
presence. So that is our challenge today. I'm going to challenge all of us to reevaluate our words and how we speak. Because our words, even in passing, even in joking, carry weight. Not only spoken word, but in how we text one another, how we communicate on social media,
00:21:44
Speaker
how we build up or tear down one another. It matters. So I pray that we go into this week, go into this time, understanding the weight of our words and the need to have intention. I also
00:22:08
Speaker
I am also hoping, especially hearing about this event, soup, stew, and stories, which we're always looking for new ideas. I am trying to find new ways in which we are embracing our own stories while making space for others' stories as well, right?
00:22:29
Speaker
And so we're leaning towards painting, sculpting, poetry and spoken word, still having open mics, maybe through music, right?
00:22:47
Speaker
but in allowing people to wrestle with the parts of their story that maybe aren't as shiny, maybe have more complexity, right? There is healing in that, and it teaches us how to not only better see each other, but how better to see ourselves, all right?
00:23:15
Speaker
So thank you so much for joining me today on this podcast episode. Again, remember that there is more than enough space for you to be seen and to see others. I'll see you all next time.