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Thoughts from 30 Something's: Turning 30
39 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, my younger sister, Lauren, joins us to talk about turning 30, lessons learned, and all that is to come in this new decade. Get ready to laugh, relate, and leave feeling encouraged and uplifted.
If you have questions or would like to submit a topic to discuss on the podcast, please contact me at unitednotuniform@gmail.com!
Please note: We will be releasing episodes every other Friday starting in 2024! Make sure to follow the show to stay up to date with episodes!
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Transcript
Introduction to United Not Uniform Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
You are listening to the United Not Uniform podcast, and I'm your host, Crystal. The purpose of this podcast is to have intentional spaces that allow and celebrate difference, difference of opinion, experience, and more. In this podcast, we will be able to truly hear and see one another even when we disagree.
00:00:22
Speaker
What would it look like if we were truly able to see one another? To set aside fear, insecurity, and doubt? To be willing to embrace the silence and let words carry their full weight? If that sounds fun, or at least a tiny bit interesting, you are in the right place.
Meet Lauren: Personality and Interests
00:00:41
Speaker
Together we will grow as we discuss different topics, hear other stories, and have a few laughs along the way.
00:00:49
Speaker
Welcome to United Not Uniform, where there is more than enough space for us to be seen and to see others.
00:00:59
Speaker
Now I'm here with a very special guest today, my sister. Hello. And so I've had the pleasure of knowing Sis for 30 years, but you guys are meeting her for the first time today. So Lauren, do you mind just sharing a little bit about yourself with everybody else? Yeah, sure.
00:01:27
Speaker
My family, I'm a Virgo, which I've reminded about a lot. So I'm more on the introverted side, Crystal's more like extroverted, which is okay too. But yeah, I'm kind of very creative and I like to like sometimes cook trendy recipes and bake. But yeah, I'm excited to be here and I have a younger sister, but I feel like sometimes I have big sis energy apparently.
00:01:54
Speaker
Well, I introduced you as my younger, older sister, oftentimes. That's true. That's
Turning 30: Expectations vs. Reality
00:02:06
Speaker
true. So Lauren, you are just now in your 30s. You just turned 30, right? Yes, like 30 and well, can't use fractions anymore. But yes, I've been 30 for four months. Wow. How's it feel so far?
00:02:23
Speaker
Oh, it's different. It's kind of like, I have to think about people ask, Oh, what am I like? Oh, wait, I'm not I can't say 20 something. I'm now 30. So yeah, it's a bit of a transition. Yeah, it's a bit of a transition. For me, so I just turned 33. And I'm almost at the place now where like, or in some surveys, like when they ask you questions about yourself, they're like, there's like that bracket of like,
00:02:50
Speaker
like out of college and then like the young professionals group, I'm like no longer in that group. It seems to go like 25 to maybe like 32, sometimes 33, but having to move up to that next bracket, I'm like, I don't know how I feel. I saw 25 to 34. I was like, okay, I'm in the middle. I like this. Okay. Okay. There's hope. There's hope. Okay. But I wanted to just kind of start off with, um,
00:03:19
Speaker
Just taking time to acknowledge the surprises, right?
Life in the Thirties: Surprises and Growth
00:03:24
Speaker
Turning a new decade is a big deal. And so my question for you is what was, or you're still discovering, right? You're only four months into thirties. The biggest surprise so far about being in your thirties? I feel like I have a couple different parts to this answer, but like I remember like,
00:03:46
Speaker
being in my 20s thinking that 30 was like a million years away. I was like, oh, wait, that kind of like kind of with fast. But it's like funny because like in my 20s, I thought that like 30 meant like homeowner and like married and all this stuff. And then I realized like I'm here and I'm like, that's not exactly the case for me, which is totally fine. I just
00:04:10
Speaker
Not that it's like a shock or anything, but I kind of realize that it's like, I don't have to compare myself to someone else's standards or goals. Because I know for me, I've never really put a timestamp on home ownership or like getting married or anything. So I'm like, I don't have to, you know, hit this mark at X date.
00:04:27
Speaker
because that may not be like my top priority right now, which it isn't. And I mean, if other people live that way, that's totally fine. But just realizing that I can hold myself to my standards and goals, I don't have to compare myself to other people and where they are in life because we're all like on a separate journey, which is fine, but we have to, you know, figure out our own path and try not to, you know, compare it to, oh my gosh, let's do it. You got it.
00:04:57
Speaker
with each other but still uplift and empower one another. So just focusing more on being the best version of myself as well as trying to uplift other people. I think that's great. Very wise for only four months in, I'm just going to say. I will take it. I feel like before now it's kind of like you do the math and you're like, oh, 20 years ago. I can say 20 years ago, but I was still alive. Oh my goodness. I was watching this YouTube reaction video.
00:05:26
Speaker
And they were talking about like songs that are 20 years old. And I'm like, I heard this in like high school. Like you said, you're doing the math. You're like, Oh, and some people like on the video.
00:05:39
Speaker
they'll have like Gen Z there
Nostalgia: Songs and Media Reflections
00:05:41
Speaker
too. And they're like, oh yeah, I was like three or five. And I'm like, okay. All right. You've been watching and we watched that how the Gristel Christmas at Jim Carrey version. I was like, oh, this came out in 2000. Right. And you start to relate more to like the math of like, wait a minute, 24 years ago. Right. And then you start to relate a lot more to
00:06:08
Speaker
the Grinch as opposed to like the Cindy Lou Who or the other Who's I'm like, do I talk to myself when I get home? Like, is that I owe that but I'm like, do I live on a mountain next to a dump? I know it's like, it's like the example of like, with Spongebob when you're like as a age, afterward, right? They're like, I'm now Squidward.
00:06:38
Speaker
Oh, no. So funny. But I feel like if I sorry, if I can interject before, but I feel like another thing, but I'm not that we're old or anything, but I feel like it's like cool to just like discover inner child again. Yeah, I feel like you don't hear inner Spongebob if you will. Serious, because it's like you can still
Career Shifts and Life Pivots
00:07:01
Speaker
have fun. And you know, you have like,
00:07:04
Speaker
Not that you're still a kid, but you have more freedom because you would make your own money or whatnot and stuff, but just still remembering that you can still have fun and enjoy and keep things light as well. That is such a good point. I think that aligns with a little bit of what I was going to share for the surprise, a big surprise is that I feel like as I'm getting older, I'm taking myself a lot less serious. Even in exploring
00:07:34
Speaker
what does it mean to like play, right? Or like have fun, right? It just looks different. Like I know for me when I was living abroad in Malta, like we would travel, we would like go to the pub, we would like do all these things, right? I know Lauren's making a face cause there's a lot of like fun travel stories from Younger Crystal. Younger Crystal like without, without fear.
00:07:59
Speaker
Maybe without common sense, sometimes do. So being in the States, it's like you probably have a Nokia phone. I'm like, I don't even know what the time difference was. It's like whatever. Oh, yeah, I did have a Nokia phone. That's right. How do I find you? Yes. And like now I feel like I'm still challenging myself in new ways, right? It just looks different. But like, how about you take yourself so seriously? So I will say when I turn 30,
00:08:29
Speaker
It was during the pandemic, womp womp. And we ended up after things that calmed down a bit in December, celebrating my 30th in like a cabin trip with just a couple of friends, right? But I never expected that a couple months into my 30s, I would be leaving my corporate job and transitioning fully into working at my local church full time.
00:08:58
Speaker
And so I would say, for someone who was like, moving up the corporate ladder, and all these things, I did not expect my 30s would be me going back to school. Like, what? Who's doing that? Me?
Curiosity, Perfectionism, and Growth
00:09:12
Speaker
And like, have degrees. I mean, yeah, a brand for you. Oh, well, okay. I love it. It just seemed like pretty on brand. Okay. To be fair, our family, like our parents are educators. So we didn't really stand much of a chance.
00:09:27
Speaker
Like, oh, like, you can either go to college or get a job. But what college are you going to? I know that's literally how I went. Oh, no, no option. Got it. Got it. Got it. And so yeah, I think that's been the surprise of like, what does it look like to hold my five year plan, whatever, like, honestly, just throw the plan out, because we're not on that trajectory, right?
00:09:55
Speaker
Um, but almost, it's almost like really just enjoying it. I find myself wanting to enjoy the present. Like I'm very focused. I'm a planner, right? And as I've like been.
00:10:09
Speaker
relearning myself, right? There are some things that I did to get by versus things that were actually fruitful, that were actually me, right? And so there's some things that I'm unlearning while at the same time I'm exploring and getting to know myself at a deeper level and a deeper way. And it's just been, I guess it's the other surprise of just, it's been fun getting back to the real me. That's like happier, moving towards a healthier direction, hopefully.
00:10:39
Speaker
I mean, that's a journey, too. I know you will, because you care about your health, but that is a journey as well. And for me, it's like, I need to go to the doctor. It's been a while. My checkup's set up. I'm not 20 anymore. I probably should keep up with it. Oh, man.
00:10:57
Speaker
Y'all, I was in denial about, so when we're recording this, it's, uh, it's during when we had some of the snow. Now, for those of you who are up North, I know those of us in the DMV don't get real snow. We already know we'll just name that. Somebody does sing compared to you guys. The whole area shuts down. But we had ice, right? That's something. And I've been living in my home now for like two, going on three years. And I still didn't buy a shovel.
00:11:29
Speaker
or like the way is for I think you're supposed to shovel my area cut to me shoveling my parking space tonight like literally before we did this podcast and I'm already starting to feel it in my body like I'm sore and I didn't even get all the ice I gave up I was like oh okay I listened to something I can't remember who I think they were
00:11:54
Speaker
maybe in their 30s and 40s are just like, talking about, you know, you're older when you get sore just doing the regular things. The regular things. Oh my goodness. So as we're kind of talking about some of the surprises, right? And I'm sure more are going to come up as we talk. If you could give your younger self some advice,
00:12:23
Speaker
What would it be? Um, I will say being comfortable in your own skin. I feel like that's good. Those teenage years, at least for me, thinking of like, Oh, I have to act cool and like be a certain way and look unbothered and stuff. But then like on the inside, it's like totally different. But like what I said before of like discovering the inner child, they get it out thinking yourself too seriously. I think you said that too. It's like, you are kind of like,
00:12:51
Speaker
like rediscovering yourself. Yeah. At least that we feel like in like my journey in 30, I'm like, Oh, like, I like this.
Media Myths about the Thirties
00:12:58
Speaker
And like, like even like just playing games with friends. I'm like, I'm competitive, but I'm going to embrace that. Yes. Oh, yeah. Not to be a sore loser, but I want to win. Not to be a sore loser. And I was like, I'd have more fun if I win.
00:13:19
Speaker
Let me tell you like the games that we kind of started banning in our in our household our game night like we don't play mousetrap cuz Lauren like destroys us all the time Domino's actually you win a lot of games. I think the only game I know I feel like I wasn't good and that it was mad, but now it's like Okay, here's the thing guys if you're bad at a game just learn how to trash talk No, oh my gosh, you are our mother
00:13:46
Speaker
trash talk me a dominoes. And then I started to learn how to play dominoes. It was a motivation. Like packed it up. Like, okay, we're done. I know it was so like she like it was like a switch was flipped. And it's so funny because we're all competitive. I would say except do you think dad is competitive? I don't think he is.
00:14:08
Speaker
I feel like maybe not as much as the rest of us are, but I mean, I feel like it'd be hard to not be competitive. That's true. Like who wants to lose? Maybe doesn't show it, but on the inside it's like rage. Yeah. But I love that. I, one thing I realized though, I didn't aim with the biggest surprise.
00:14:31
Speaker
I actually was looking forward to my 30s, not the pandemic. That was a bit of a curveball. I know. And I didn't really want to start a new decade in that way. So it wasn't like being able to have the big party and everything. But it was so sweet and beautiful in its own way. But I grew up watching that movie
00:14:52
Speaker
13 going on 30. Oh, I love that movie. But then it also like had like this unrealistic expectation of what my 30s was gonna look like. Now I know in the movie, it's like, she has a life that I'm not gonna spoil the whole movie for people who haven't seen it. But I feel like they should have seen it. It's been a while. But it's a classic that I do recommend. It's so good. It's so good. But I just like I just envisioned
00:15:19
Speaker
Like in the movie you kind of see when things aren't going right, right? When you prioritize other things as opposed to like the relationships in your life. But then like even in her like when she went back and actually became 30 and everything like
00:15:34
Speaker
Everything was like aligned in a way that I was like, oh yeah, that's what my life is gonna be like. 30s are gonna be fun. Like 20s, it's just struggle. And 30s, it's gonna be smooth. And I was like, sorely mistaken. The struggle, the struggle bus. Ramen, ramen meals. Trying to find a real job. Oh gosh, being paid with experience.
00:16:04
Speaker
I know. I don't understand. I feel like it's gonna be the same for like Gen Z, but it's like all the memes that came out. It's just like, oh, like you've got a college to get a job. And then the entry level job is two to three years of experience. I'm like, we do the math. It's like, when was I supposed to start working at like 10? Pretty much. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. So I would say,
00:16:31
Speaker
I'm going to say something different because I do think don't take yourself too seriously is one that I can speak to myself too. I think also give yourself grace.
Curiosity vs. Control
00:16:47
Speaker
This too will pass. And then there was a last one I was going to say, hold on to curiosity. And what I mean by that, like so like in my first podcast podcast episode,
00:17:00
Speaker
it, I really unpacked a little bit of the perfectionism that I felt. And I still deal with it in a lot of ways. It's like, like I said, you're unlearning, but there's some habits, like you've been doing for like 30 plus years, right? Yes. It's like become a part of you. And so I didn't realize like, I knew when I was kind of going back and thinking about how I was as a child, and all of the trouble I would get myself into, that I really had a sense of
00:17:31
Speaker
curiosity. Like my favorite thing was to ask why and to I wanted to do everything our parents were doing. I know in trouble asking why too many times. It's like, please sit down somewhere. But I realize that being curious, right, and wanting to like the world being so big and mysterious and like something to explore in that adventure didn't align with me trying to achieve perfectionism.
00:18:00
Speaker
a sense of control and planning out every detail of my life to like plan A, plan B, plan C, plan D. And so one of those things had to give, right? One of the directions was giving me super stress and anxiety. The other one has a lot of like joy and life and happiness. I know your face, you're like, oh, don't choose that one. And I wish I could say every day I choose the other.
00:18:26
Speaker
But some days, you fall back into old patterns, especially when I overcommit or do too much. My family knows I'd be doing the most. But yeah, I would say holding onto that curiosity is so important because there's something about keeping the world as big. And I would even say the same for relationships,
Lifelong Learning and Evolution
00:18:51
Speaker
right? I'm discovering new things about you all the time, right?
00:18:56
Speaker
And it's not that I don't know you, but like, how do we approach everything with like a level of curiosity and everything? Sorry, I'm going on a tangent. I do that all the time. Um, but yeah, I feel like, um, and I, I, I did scribble down some notes that I'm not really listening to, but, um,
00:19:15
Speaker
But it's like another thing that I liked about like getting older is that like you can still, which is still fine. It's like you, obviously you can educate yourself after, you know, finishing school or whatnot. But it's like, you know, I'm a nerd and you probably identify as being a nerd sometimes too, but very proudly. But yeah, just like, um,
00:19:36
Speaker
just like to learn and that you can still like learn new skills and new topics and stuff that just like hold on to that curiosity and like you don't have to like stop and just stay the same. Save the same for the rest of your life because like we could live to like a hundred years old and this is only like the first third of our life basically. Yeah. Well, that's a good way of putting it. So really we're young. We're 30 years young.
00:20:03
Speaker
They all take it. You don't have to be old ladies. I know. I realize like I'm now in that friend range where I'm realizing I'm getting older, but like the kids of my friends getting older or like our cousins, right? Like I'm like, Oh, I'm aging.
00:20:23
Speaker
you were you were an infant and now you talk like time has passed the cousins where they have kids that are our family like our cousins are a lot older than us we have cousins where their kids are in college like what yeah like where did the time go yeah where did it go where are you like 20 years old since it makes sense
00:20:46
Speaker
Like, yeah, because I'm still 20. And you're like, no, I went to a party or dinner where someone was celebrating like the 15th anniversary of them turning 29. And I thought that was so hilarious. Like the invitation to the 15th anniversary of their 29th birthday.
00:21:13
Speaker
I don't know if I want to go back in time, but there's been a lot of lessons, a lot of hurdles that have been crossed in my 33 year life that I don't really want to go back and redo.
Living in the Present
00:21:24
Speaker
But it is fun to embrace each year and what it brings, but like trying to stay in the present. It's like that weird tension of like you're learning
00:21:36
Speaker
You've learned things from the past, and then oftentimes, especially as you were unlearning some things and growing and healing, you have to confront some of those things in the past, right? But then you also have the things, and we'll get into some of the things that we're hoping for in the future later. And so it's so important to be in the moment right now, and that can be so hard.
00:21:57
Speaker
Yeah, and it's of I meant to say it earlier, but but also another thing is to like kind of just embrace the journey because you I mean, I don't know what everyone else going through but it's like you have to like be able to like and not every
00:22:13
Speaker
about place like right now is like, you know, the place you want to be at, but like just being grateful for where you're at. Because like, you don't want to have like the destination disease where it's like, I'll be happy, like, when I make like 150,000 or like whatever, but it's like, you have to like enjoy like the phases of life that you're in.
00:22:31
Speaker
as well as not losing sight of what you're working towards. So it's like you're not going through life unfulfilled all the time. It's like, oh, I need this so that I'll be happy. And then, oh, I need more. That's just kind of like, be grateful for what you do have, but still have like, so keep your dreams alive and goals and whatnot. Yeah. You called it, what was it called?
Unexpected Life Changes
00:22:52
Speaker
Destination disease? Something like that. Yeah. No, that's so good. I heard it from somewhere. I'm like, I don't know where that quote came from, but. Yeah, that's so good.
00:23:01
Speaker
That's so good. Cause I know that's definitely how I lived. Once I came back from grad school, I, that period where I was so desperate to get a job and all these other things and life was just really hard. I feel like that started kind of like that, that destination, like I just have to get here and here and here. And especially now working at a local church.
00:23:26
Speaker
The destination's not, I mean, like it might look different, but like what I'm doing is, there's still growth. Let me phrase it differently. It's just, what does it look like to just savor and enjoy where I am? Because, and not saying that I don't, but I think one thing that
00:23:48
Speaker
not only younger Krystal was very guilty of, but I feel like a lot of us can be only focused on what's next, right? There's grass that's greener on the other side. I know for me, someone desiring to be married and have kids, like to me, like marriage and having kids, I see all the beauty. I see the flowers. I don't see the stinky nappies. I don't see the arguments. I know I had to use nappies. I think that's so cute. But I get it. I don't think I'm watching too much.
00:24:16
Speaker
that I watch a lot of British shows, but I'm getting the lingo down. I'm like, oh, a little wobbly. Our friend is so good at like, an English accent. I cannot do it. And I'm not gonna shame them. I can hear it. But I was like, it doesn't come out my mouth. Like, it doesn't fit. So I'm gonna be quiet. It's in my heart. But uh, yeah.
00:24:44
Speaker
That's funny, because our mom, sorry, a bit of a tangent, our mom is also really into British shows too. And it's just something like I love like their mystery. Oh, it's so good. Like Midsummer. There's those episodes, like you got to commit like it'd be an hour. It's a movie though. I'll be like, I have to wait. And I love how our mom said it. She's like, so because I remember the first time I watched it, like I think we all watched it together.
00:25:10
Speaker
There were like three or four people who passed in the episode. And I was like, whoa, what's going on? I'm used to like someone passes at the beginning and then the whole episode is trying to figure it out. A lot of order. And they catch the bad guy at the end. Right. It's not like that. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, this is a light one. I was like, wait, what?
00:25:34
Speaker
like oh yeah when the cellos come out that's when you know that there's oh my gosh our mom she's so funny we'll have to get her on here we really have to get her on here it'll be so fun um oh sorry you were um talking earlier about how you like envision your future oh yes yes sorry see thank you thank you lauren forget me back before i forget yeah no and and i know we're going to get more on like the future later but i think
00:26:02
Speaker
there's been beauty in the pivot. Had I been so focused on living out my plan or achieving the next goal that I had for myself, I would have completely missed the bigger picture, the bigger dream that was out there. And I think it's just so important that we don't close ourself off from... Yeah.
00:26:25
Speaker
from things that are outside of our plan, right? Because I can honestly say, I'm so glad that I'm now working at my local church, that I'm in seminary, that I'm a licensed minister, that I'm on the pastoral route. I know me. Your face is not changing, so either you already knew or I'm like...
00:26:45
Speaker
I mean, it's just kind of like shocking to me because I just feel like when I like hear you when, when you are like presented at your church, I just feel like you connect with so many different people. So like in a way, at least it feels like this is like something that like was like supposed to happen since like so many people that maybe other people can't. Yeah. But just seeing that in your future that like, you know, you're going to impact it much of people. And like, I just feel like, I mean, yeah, like life goes a different way, but it's like, I feel like this is good, you know,
00:27:14
Speaker
Oh, yeah, absolutely. So I hope that's encouraging to those of you who are listening, that often going a different path or a different direction than what you had planned for yourself ends up being way better and makes a much better story. I love telling people they're like, Oh, what's your background? I was like, well, you know, I was in conflict resolution.
00:27:35
Speaker
And then I lived in Malta and then I fell into real estate finance and they're like, wait, what? And then now I'm at a, we're like doing this, we're like all over the place. It's like picture where it's like when I tell a story, I was like a train track and then it's like.
00:27:50
Speaker
Right. It's like, where did you start? Where did you start? But I feel like there's like, so like, especially for a generation, maybe even the generation behind us where it's like, you, you like, like, you pick your major, and you're gonna do this. And then it's like, you would have like pivot and you like do something completely different, which I feel like a lot of people do. But it's like,
00:28:11
Speaker
you don't have to be like set into one way because you sometimes have to figure things out. Like I mean real estate finance, it gave me not a thought about that. But like, I mean, you did learn a lot in that area. I didn't get you like, you know, a better financial place with that, you know, real job. I feel like a lot of people throw around when you're in your 20s, like get a real job. Come on, ask what defines a real job because I have my own definition.
00:28:36
Speaker
I'd love to hear your definition. What defines a real job? I don't even know. I'm like, I paid taxes now. That feels real. I was going to say you get benefits. Oh, so yeah, because I did. So if I could like rewind, probably would have like started working like, you know, full-time jobs. I did a lot of like part-time retail when I tried to figure things out. And then
00:29:00
Speaker
I guess I got a real job with like a retirement plan of like 24. I'm like, oh, this is, this is better, you know, like more like income. So I guess it's like more of like a full time job that, you know, well, I feel like that's kind of like loving out a lot of people, but I guess like a job where you can like possibly like sustain yourself.
00:29:21
Speaker
Yeah. And we're saying this and you guys can't see us. We're on video, but this will be on Spotify and Apple and you guys can't see us on video. We're doing air quotes. Every job, any job has value.
00:29:38
Speaker
we're not shaming anything or like, we're using air quotes, I just want to name that.
Hustle Culture and Work-Life Balance
00:29:43
Speaker
Yeah, a lot of people like and I didn't want to like, yeah, offend or anything, because there's like businesses, there's people influencing making like, way more money than any of us. So the air quote real job, it's like, there's so many different ways to like, make, make it income and earn a living. But yeah, it's kind of interesting for a term. Yeah, I will just say like, I know for me, also having worked part time positions,
00:30:09
Speaker
where you don't have sick days, you don't have these things, right? When you work a job that does provide that, you're like, oh, it's different, right? It just, it hits different. When I get vacation days, I get sick days, I didn't call out sick, like not getting trouble. It's like a game changer. Oh gosh, I felt so silly. They're like looking at me weird. I'm like, oh, we're working part time for so long. It's like you show up when it's on the schedule. Lord, I'm not gonna lie, the first job that I got where I had like,
00:30:38
Speaker
benefits and time off and everything, I cried. I ugly cried because it's just like, I feel like we're kind of, I think we're coming out of it. I think the pandemic changed a lot of things, right? But there was really like this hustler mentality of like, I have to do this and this and this. I have to do everything. And you just go, go, go, go, go and ignore like your body, everything like that. I'm also learning that now.
00:31:04
Speaker
because my body is reminding me I'm 33, I'm no longer 20. Your body says no, it's like, we should relax a little bit. Yeah, yeah, for real. Please do guys. I'm learning the hard way. But yeah, it's just, yeah, yeah. I feel like even before like shut down it was like, not that glow up's a bad term, but it was just kind of like, you know, get after it and hustle, but like you just have to take care of yourself.
00:31:34
Speaker
anxiety or stress instead of make you unhealthy too. You kind of have to take care of yourself as well. There's nothing wrong with being ambitious, but you can't work yourself into the ground. You really can't. And who are you outside of your job? Your title. That's a huge question that we have to explore, right? Yeah. It's kind of funny coming from me because I'm like, oh gosh, I worked a lot of part time and seasonal jobs, but I think I'm on either job
00:32:04
Speaker
14 or 15. I'm 30. That's okay. Hey, this is a place of no shame, no judgment. My past few jobs, like I stayed at my last job for like five years. I'm like, okay, like I'm being responsible. Lauren, you are a very responsible person. So I don't know. Like, oh, hey, I have like, I've had like, you know, 13 jobs that I'm like, I started working at 18 and now I'm 30. Like, that doesn't matter. Like, wait.
00:32:34
Speaker
You know how that's framed, sis? Experience. I can't say that I don't have work history. That's true. That's true. I do have work history. That's that's good. I mean, it does feature those responsibilities, you know, like being punctual, you know, I just feel like it's kind of like the 20s or
00:32:59
Speaker
I don't know, because I feel like, depending on what you do, there's like once again, there's ample others and stuff. And you just kind of learn like, like grit and like, you know, just like dealing with things like their experience that like dealing with a manager for the first time, I'm like, just like, I'm helping people still learning how to like, be better by finances and stuff. But it is best that you just do a lot when you do get those jobs, even if it is like, you know, part time retail or whatever, it just teaches you a lot. Yeah. Retail is no joke.
00:33:29
Speaker
So, so thank you for what you've done. It's like a different job. And then I'm like, everything's going online. Let me get myself out of that before, you know, I don't know if like malls are going to be gone. Who knows? Like, I just feel like with Amazon, I'm like, I can get this ship to my door. But at the same time, it's like, I don't know if this fits me because I bought it online. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Who knows? Who knows?
00:33:57
Speaker
So we do have another question. I feel like we're flowing so good into all of these questions that I feel like we've touched on it. But if you have any other things you would like to add, how has your mindset shifted as you've entered this next decade? Just being more future oriented, like thinking about, and I did this in my 20s, but now it's like a movie with more intention of like, what I want my life to look like in the future and what impact I want to have.
00:34:25
Speaker
Like what my legacy will be, even though it's like, this is like thinking probably way too far ahead. I'm like, I don't really, like, I mean, legacy would probably be more than just like having kids and stuff, but just thinking about like, what like lessons can I, and even like being in the moment, thinking about like, what's like, even if it's a hard time, it's like, what's the lesson in this that I could like, learn from, but just thinking in the future of like, what can I, what can I teach? Like if I have,
00:34:52
Speaker
Like if I have kids, like what can I teach them? Like will I be a good example? Like, yeah, just thinking about just like impact and just like thinking about like, oh, like when I'm gone, like what impact would I have on like the people who I was like able to, you know, help and just thinking about the future in that kind of way instead of just like, I mean, you have to enjoy the present but just thinking about like, hey, what's it gonna look like down the road? And like, how am I gonna help people? And what are they gonna like remember about me when I'm gone?
00:35:21
Speaker
Yeah, legacy is a real thing. It's a real thing. And I love what you said about how it's not like, like children can be part of your legacy, not saying they can't. But like, especially for someone who is single, right, you can still be working towards and leaving a legacy. And I love that you said that and you acknowledge that. I think I'm trying to think for me, I
00:35:51
Speaker
I will say I'm slowing down, not just physically, but also just in, I felt like in my twenties, there was such a rush to do everything, right? Like instead of the world seeing me like, oh my gosh, it's open to me and I have all these things, it was like I was desperately trying to grab as much as I could and had a scarcity mindset. And now in my thirties, I feel like, especially working in,
00:36:19
Speaker
I try to be very mindful. We're all called to ministry. Ministry just might look differently just depending on what you're doing, right? But working for a local church and like caring for other people, caring for souls, it's different type
Personal Evolution in the Thirties
00:36:34
Speaker
of work. It requires you to slow down. It requires you to be mentally, physically, spiritually healthy because you are making space for other people's stories, other people's trauma, right?
00:36:46
Speaker
Um, and you can't do that if you're not healthy, if you're not good. Right. Um, and so in order, I'm learning that. And I will say just a quick lesson also is that every single year of my thirties is looking different, right? Thirties as a like a, like a 10 year bracket is like, I feel like I'm going to get like 10 different crystals.
00:37:09
Speaker
Oh, we connected. But we it's like we're evolving every year. I think like Digimon were like, they like evolved to the sixth. I heard the theme song when you said that I was like dancing. Yeah. Yes. And then there's some years where we revert back to our original self, right? We've grown a little bit. But yes,
00:37:39
Speaker
Um, but yeah, it's, I would say like slowing down has been the
Boundaries and Personal Growth
00:37:45
Speaker
biggest thing. Like there's not as much, there's still a sense of urgency, but the way I go about it just looks a little bit different. Right. Um, I'm trying to think other, other things with mindset. There are some things that I've held onto. I think that's important to acknowledge are some things that we've held on to, um, the like wanting to learn, right.
00:38:08
Speaker
Yeah, rediscovering curiosity, I would say that too. But yeah, anything else for you? For mindset? I'm not just really mindset, but also just like, discovering the importance of time and just like, Oh, that's good. I'm just like trying to be mindful of that. And I like
00:38:28
Speaker
if you have a job, you got to work. And you know, maybe you're not like besties with your coworkers, but just like being like for me being mindful of the time I spend time with like outside of work, like people who like I really care about and just you don't get time back to just be right. And I feel like that happens. Like, I just think that like, we're more aware of that in our 30s, just like, Hey, like, who am I going to be around? Like, who do I want to
00:38:51
Speaker
like, you know, give my time to because like, I'm literally not going to get this back. I'm going to say anything but just like thinking about like the intentional with what you do have available outside of your other responsibility. Oh, yes, relationships and how we prioritize that. That's so important. Oh, I got one boundaries. So I got way excited when I said it. I look
00:39:15
Speaker
I had a good old time talking about boundaries. But that was something I mean, like, I'm embracing boundaries in my like, as a 33 year old, there are some people who have been setting boundaries and have done it way before me, like, again, boundaries have no time limit. It's just kind of like, or age requirement. It's just when you just embrace it, right. And I will say part of like that boundary. And again, I said this in the other podcast, is like,
00:39:45
Speaker
In my relationships, I'm no longer, I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this. I feel like in some, in a lot of my relationships, there's like this like perfectionism, me trying to be someone, right? To that person, but also not really allowing them to be their full self. Like what I mean is before I did the work of like my own self care and counseling and everything, my happiness, my sense of fulfillment,
00:40:14
Speaker
was solely based on other people, right?
Grace and Accountability
00:40:17
Speaker
And that is way too much pressure to put on another person who is just as human as I am, right? And the beauty about me not having to be perfect and in control and being able to be human is also allowing other people to be able to do the same, right? And boundaries are just our way of
00:40:39
Speaker
negotiating that relationship, right? So like, for instance, if there's someone, especially who's in a season, where the level of responsibility that they have in the relationship, and I'm not talking about, again, responsibility as in like, paying bills and things like that, but like,
00:40:55
Speaker
if they can't hold what you were trying to give in the relationship, whether that's like you're going through a hard time, things like that, the access changes, right? And so it's kind of like, it's something that adjusts and like being able to see that as not just me trying to protect myself, but also as a gift to the other person and me like protecting that person as well in a loving way. I think I've just been so big because it just feels so different than how I lived
00:41:25
Speaker
up until that point, you know? I think it also touched on something you said earlier in the podcast about like giving grace because you have to like, I feel like anyone can go through it where you have to like realize you have to give yourself grace because you can't extend grace without like actually giving it to yourself. Yeah, for real. For real. So you know, based on everything that you guys have heard so far, clearly we have everything figured out. No, I'm just kidding.
00:41:56
Speaker
But our next question is, you know, some people would think in your 30s, you're supposed to have your entire life figured out. Can you give advice for someone who feels that they're behind in life? I just feel like we kind of already touched on that about embracing the journey. Like, yeah, if you're not, and I feel like I mean, I don't do New Year's resolutions, I said goals, because you can do that any time of the year.
00:42:22
Speaker
But I think, like we said before, like you can have that vision for what you want your life to look like, but just embrace your journey on the way there. Give yourself great strength still. You just have to hold yourself accountable to what you're trying to accomplish. And like once again, you're like in the first third of your life, like there's still so much life to live left, but it's like you don't have to
00:42:46
Speaker
not just saying be set in your ways, but it's just like, there's just so much more time and room for growth and figuring things out, figuring out your talents and gifts can be, maybe you don't know what you're supposed to do.
00:43:05
Speaker
Yeah. Um, so I just feel like it's okay to like not be totally figured out because there's just so much, so much things you can do and so much life you can still figure out, but it's not a bad thing. You can just keep learning and growing. I love that. That's so good. Oh, that's so good. My wise sister. No, it makes perfect sense. And I also love that you said accountability. I think another lesson I had to learn is that
00:43:35
Speaker
inviting others to also hold you accountable. Like I realized I like feedback when it's good. Oh, you're critiquing me. You know, that's been a lesson. That's a lesson for me. Like iron sharpens iron, like for real. And so like, if I'm trying to be the best version of myself that I'm becoming this best version of myself, right?
Unique Personal Journeys
00:44:02
Speaker
that requires, especially if I'm doing life in relationship, it requires refinement, it requires critique, it requires correction, right? Support to and care and affirmation that's in there too. But like, what would it look like if we actually allow people to hold us accountable?
00:44:21
Speaker
you know, talking about giving yourselves grace and stuff and be like, I'm not perfect. It's okay. But it's like, also the same as the voice in the back of your head, just like you can do better. Like you can do better than this, you have to like put effort into like what you're gonna do. I'm like, Oh, wait, I have to be accountable. Like, like, you have to actually do the work. And it doesn't feel good when people call you out. But it's like, that's the
00:44:47
Speaker
greatest gift because you can unintentionally be hurting people, right? You can unintentionally, oh, I'm going to hope unintentionally, you can unintentionally, um, just really beginning in your own way, right? Or like if you're someone that's living the same cycle over and over again, right? Um, and I think that's just so important to, to point out, I would say,
00:45:17
Speaker
And I think we've been talking on this a little bit too. It's okay that your path and your race doesn't look like everyone else's, right? Yes. I have friends who are married and have kids. I have friends who are older than me and still single. I have friends who live abroad in different sectors and all these different things. And to say that social comparison doesn't happen would be a lie.
00:45:47
Speaker
right? And I know that there are probably people who are looking at my story, my testimony, and think that I have it all figured out because it's how it looks on the outside, right? Especially working at a local church, but I'm just as human as everyone else. There are things that I would have hoped for, that I dreamed would have happened by now, right? Like, this is the year that our mother had me. She was already married, you know what I mean?
00:46:16
Speaker
And that's in the back of my mind. I want to have our parents know my kids. I want to be able to introduce them to my husband. I want our grandmother to meet my husband. But at the same time, even though those are desires and wants and I see that lived out in my friend's life, there is a unique path that I am on right now that only I can live. And there are things that I'm able to do that my friends who have
00:46:44
Speaker
families of their own are not able to do, right? And so how do we, again, it goes back to what we're talking about, like being in the present, still having the desires, being honest about those desires, being honest when we feel lonely and things like that, but not allowing them to consume us.
Counseling for Self-Discovery
00:47:01
Speaker
Sorry, apparently there's a giant that lives above me. So if you guys heard that, sorry. But yeah. And I would like to go back to like,
00:47:12
Speaker
enjoying where you are right now like another thing about like enjoying that time is that life's gonna be different you know like yeah like being able to talk to my sister you know for an hour or so that might be different you know when like you know married with kids and stuff but just like embracing that time to be like you know what it might not be the same like this but we just have to like you know figure what that's gonna look like but it's okay to like enjoy the time you have now because like I feel like
00:47:39
Speaker
And I would hope to still be able to travel. Like after settling down, I know it's like harder to like travel the world with like kids and stuff. But it's just like, you just have to like kind of, it's not gonna look the same as opposed to like, you know, when you don't have kids and it's like, oh, I'll go to Europe for however long. Like, wait, I probably can't do that. I mean, you probably still, it's just gonna look different. It just looks different. I think that's so true. It looks different. And I, because one of my friends celebrated their anniversary in France. And I was like, oh,
00:48:09
Speaker
beautiful. I mean, like the photos were amazing. She's also a photographer. She's actually the person that designed my logo. Super talented. He's amazing. Instagram photos like that be like pretty nice. Yeah, she's amazing. But I'm like, the aesthetic. Yeah. But yeah, I love what you said. It's just going to look different. And
00:48:33
Speaker
I will say one of the best gifts that I gave myself in my 30s was going to counseling because I didn't realize what we're saying. People have probably said, I would have hoped, those of you who are listening would have heard people say this to you. If not, we are the first people to speak life into you, to remind you you're not behind, you're where you're meant to be. Now, if you're in a hard place, let's acknowledge that.
00:49:02
Speaker
like being in hard places and challenging places.
00:49:05
Speaker
It's not easy. And when people tell you, oh, you're right where you need to be, that's the last thing you want to hear. That's the last thing I wanted to hear when people told me that. I was so mad. I was like, keep that to yourself, right? I was like, this is the bottom. Like nowhere else to go except for up. But I'm like, when you're down there, it's like, this is the bottom. Yeah, this doesn't feel good. Like, that's great.
00:49:34
Speaker
That's great for you, but that's not where I am, right? And so giving myself the gift of counseling was so eye opening and healing for me because it provided more spaces, more support for me and the path that I'm on, right? Now, does my counselor challenge me in ways that are so annoying? Yes, because she makes me deal with things I don't want to deal with. She's doing her job. She's good at it, right?
Future Aspirations
00:50:04
Speaker
But I didn't even realize some of the fears and anxiety and the feeling of behind I had until I started doing some of that work in counseling and learning some of those coping skills and everything. So I always like, again, I know I feel like every episode I'm making a plug for counseling and therapy, but it's another plug for counseling and therapy. It sounds like anyone can benefit as opposed to talking to someone who
00:50:34
Speaker
know that I should have opinions, but I'm not in therapy yet. But I feel like it's something that probably anyone can benefit from. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. So Lauren, our last question. I'm so sad. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I want this to be like two hours. Try to like follow along. I'm like, wait, wait. No, yes, I don't even know.
00:51:02
Speaker
Um, and then, yeah, feel free. There's going to be time to like add everything if there's anything that we missed or anything that comes up. But, uh, what are some of the things you're looking forward to in this decade? Um, well, I literally wrote my notes, like my glow. Oh, but just like,
00:51:25
Speaker
Um, which I like worked on in my twenties to just like getting my finances together, paying off debt, looking forward to free student loan debt free. Hello. And shout out for you already paying off a loan though. That interest rate was high and I'm like, no more, no more, no more. Um, but yeah, just like thinking about like having an abundant life and like thinking about like friends giving, um, traveling more, um,
00:51:55
Speaker
Yeah, just like I'm just, and like not like getting older is a bad thing and like I don't want to never tell myself when old lady rolling her 30s, but just like, just like experiencing like growth and looking forward to like, you know what life's gonna look like as you know.
00:52:10
Speaker
Um, different life changes, obviously, you know, friend groups eventually are not all of our mutual friends. We have friends that are single and like some that are not, but it's just things are going to change. And that's like fine. And that's like exciting, but just seeing how that, um, how things change and how we grow together is just like somebody that's going to get me like excited about the future. Yeah, that's good. Ooh, I'm going to be done seminary. That's what I got.
00:52:40
Speaker
How many years? I know. The program I'm in right now is probably going to take me five years. And people are like, wow, it's like you're going to undergrad again. I'm like, yes, I know. But shout out to Denver Seminary because I love it because I'm getting a mixture of both the theology and the study while also practical application. So it's not isolated. I'm able to implement and everything. So how long do you have left? Because I feel like, I mean, you just didn't start. I feel like you got a good chunk in.
00:53:09
Speaker
Thank you. I'll be coming up on my second year. Can I do math? Second year, I think? Okay. Yeah. So I'll be done. Masters. People keep talking. They're like, oh, you should get your PhD. I'm like, chill.
00:53:32
Speaker
Our mother made the comment of like more papers and stuff. Yeah. Our mother made the comment of like, you should just be able to add up your degree. I was like, I know. Let's add them up. And that's a PhD. I'd like to believe that I would be married, and at least trying for kids. Again, that's more of like a hope and a wish, right? And we always agree that there's so much like, in front of you. There's so much, there's so much.
00:54:01
Speaker
But we're just talking up until 40, right? Yeah. I would say, oh gosh, I am praying and believing that a couple of my friends who are also single are gonna get married too. Yeah, and to your point, just life is gonna look different. I feel like beyond that, I'm just holding things pretty loose and open. I would like to say also like paying off student loans and debt, right? And being,
00:54:32
Speaker
better in a place in a better place financially for sure. But everything else is just like everything else and how it happens is just really open.
Value of Life Experiences
00:54:42
Speaker
Right. And
00:54:44
Speaker
It's exciting. I mean, like, I am about to go on this trip to Greece with one of my dearest friends who's turning 40. That's what I meant to say. I'm like traveling. I'm like, I've been seeing things. Yeah. Well, we got to do a sister's trip. We haven't seen that much of the world yet, I think. No, I went to Europe. We went to Spain. That counts. Spain counts. We went to Morocco. We went to Morocco for a day. That counts. OK, so I tentatively visited Africa, too. OK. Our cousin. We have three different continents, including America.
00:55:15
Speaker
Well, no, I would say four. Well, Central. I haven't been in Central. We went to like Mexico for like, oh. Oh, yeah. That's yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Geography is not my good thing. I'm sorry. I do want to go to South America, though. That's on my list. Good food. I'm kind of like person to be like, let me go places that are warm. I know. I mean, honestly, that's the best. That's the best.
00:55:45
Speaker
I saw it. This is how many of our conversations go. Like it will be like, Oh, we're gonna talk about this one thing. And then it's like, an hour and 20 minutes later. We're doing really well. But my friends turning 40. And so we're going to Greece.
00:56:10
Speaker
And I'm like, I think that's been another gift too, is that I've been blessed to have so many amazing people in my life who are living their forties in such fullness that I am, I mean, like even our parents who are not forties, but they're in their sixties, dad's about to turn a new decade too, right? They're just living, there's so much fullness in life that I'm like, Oh,
00:56:37
Speaker
This is just the beginning. Like you said, it's like only a third of our life, right? Um, I'd say I'm also going to add that I am healthier physically. Like I want to do, I don't know if I'm going to do a marathon, but I want to do a couple more races.
00:56:57
Speaker
But yeah, like, I mean, you did that half marathon too. When you said like, run your own race, it's like you did run your own race. The blood, sweat, and tears. Oh, man, y'all should have seen me afterwards. Oh my gosh, I keep joking about because Mom, Dad, and I were like waiting for Crystal to finish live. We tried to get there before there was a person who was like,
00:57:20
Speaker
like an EMT truck. We're like, please don't be crystal. And it was someone else we drove past the finish line. We're like, he finished the race. Oh, man. People are like waiting for
Personal Challenges: Half Marathon
00:57:32
Speaker
Chris. So we're just like, please let her just finish like running the race and not like hurt herself. That was great the whole time. I mean, y'all know I shared in another episode too, like by like, I was a little half more than that. Wait, not a little. I was like a couple miles over halfway. And
00:57:50
Speaker
that right hip. Oh, slow and steady, though. Oh, that's amazing that you guys are there. I'm trying to get Lauren to do a half with me. It's in my head. But the thing is that happened, even though I already did the turkey trot three miles. What's 13 doable. We should start in January to be ready.
00:58:21
Speaker
Oh my gosh, no, there's a whole training plan. Oh geez, I didn't feel a way though, because it was kind of funny. Like, well, like, Crystal gave me tips to train and I did the exact opposite. I ran through our hilly neighborhood when she said to find out like a level place to train. So I kind of did everything backwards, but it was kind of cool, like training after work and seeing the same people like running too. I'm like, oh my gosh, like a little group. And the lady that walked her dog, she was like, oh,
00:58:52
Speaker
I'm like, oh, I'm doing something good. Then I came over from work and I saw one of those people jogging up to work and I was like, I was like, dang, I'm not training. It's so cold. I know. Those who run in the winter, that's a different league. Maybe I'm not that breed yet. Maybe when it's like, I feel like when it's in the 40s, I'm like, okay, mid 30s, 40s, I'll do it. But it was so cold today.
00:59:19
Speaker
I know. Cut to me fighting for my life with that ice. Oh my goodness. I wish you could have seen me. I'm sorry, y'all. We just, I literally because there was black eyes. I didn't see it. You know that like, I feel like that person that's like fighting for their life like to not fall for like five minutes. It's like the longest fall. That's what I felt like with a shovel in my hand.
00:59:48
Speaker
That's like, as a person though, I just feel like I'm that person and someone's looking at me through their window just like, like, this is a shame. I hope not a shame. What a shame, but like, I mean, like probably C&B this morning just like scraping the ice off my car. Just like, what are you doing? It's just sad. Yeah, that's sad.
01:00:12
Speaker
It's like on my board. I'm like, what I do, like, what I do have a house. I need a garage. I don't like stripping. I know. Garage just makes sense now, right? Yes. Yeah, I went to the store and got my shovel and then didn't buy salt because I was like, I don't need salt. I have my shovel. Lesson learned.
Dating in the Thirties Preview
01:00:30
Speaker
You need salt. I thought they'd salt your area. I didn't feel like that. I was like, I don't want to use it. I want to like
01:00:35
Speaker
hurt the animals and it was like the free animals. Well, they have pet and animal safe ones or like salt that's now like more sustainable. Okay. There's like a whole bunch of bunnies that live in my little neighborhood. I know, I know. I didn't get the salt. I like the animals. I know, I know. All right. Is there anything else we didn't talk about?
01:01:03
Speaker
Like if someone was like, I'm at 30 something and you forgot to talk about blank. I'm trying to think. We covered a lot. Um, I don't have credibility in it. We definitely didn't talk about dating, but I don't have credibility in that. I've taken a hiatus for a very long time with that. So it was probably to me, maybe.
01:01:30
Speaker
That sounds like a separate podcast episode. It's definitely a separate podcast episode. I can't wait for that. But that is another topic for that's definitely, you know, a 30 something thing. I just just hear it about like another podcast about how like dating is supposed to be, you know, with all these like dating apps that don't. Yeah, that's a whole other topic to be like, how is it going to look like in your 30s, like when you're trying to like date intentionally for like, you know, the future?
01:01:59
Speaker
I think it depends. What is your credit score? Oh my gosh, are you one of those? You're not one of those. Please don't be one of those. I mean, I hope not. These are questions I need to know. Okay, all right. This is going to be a separate episode. For sure.
01:02:27
Speaker
I have questions. I'm sure everybody else has questions too. Not you leading with the credit score. I guess I probably shouldn't say that just like, and like, our friend group is probably like, ashamed, not ashamed of me, but I love shows like love is blind and stuff. And like, these are questions that they probably shouldn't ask earlier. Do you have a job? Do you have good credit? Do you have a job?
01:02:54
Speaker
Are you are you emotionally ready to be in a relationship? Yes, but yeah, can you commit to one person? Or like, I get it, I get it. There's not like a lot of communication that happens up front for sure.
01:03:15
Speaker
I can't wait. That's the beauty of being in, well, at least for even our relationship of being able to communicate better. Even if I say something a little spicy, I'll text you and be like, I'm sorry. I love spicy, Lauren. I feel like I do the same thing when spicy crystal comes out. But now I still have pride. Not the good kind of pride, but now I'm like, oh.
01:03:40
Speaker
Let me say I'm sorry. This probably wasn't received correctly. I probably didn't say it with the right tone. Let me say I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. I will say one of the things we didn't talk about is, I mean, I guess we did when you talked about legacy. It's like,
01:04:02
Speaker
like that turning point of like having to make a decision of do you continue what you have been
Commitment and Support in Relationships
01:04:08
Speaker
doing? Or do you make a change, right? So using our relationship, like, we are very intentional about how we communicate with one another. And when we need to apologize, I hope I feel like we're a lot better when we may not be perfect all the time.
01:04:24
Speaker
Yeah, we're better. I feel like you're gonna be like, there was this one time Cristal didn't say it back in 2014. I saw it on your face. I feel like we're better, but that was a choice we had to make, right? I remember like, oh, sorry. I just remember being like,
01:04:47
Speaker
little sis that like I'm working on like not being as like selfish anymore others focus but I remember I don't remember like what year it was but having that shift of like oh my sister needs me too like I can't just like lead on her it's like it's like relationships are like reciprocal it's like you yeah not like you owe people but it's like hey like I have your back you have mine and like yeah like if big sis is a talked a little sis about something like you should be open to hear it yeah so it's not like
01:05:18
Speaker
I know for me, I don't want to have like one sided like relationships, friendships, relationships in general, like there's, you know, two sides of that both people need to be taken care of and, you know, have your needs filled.
01:05:28
Speaker
Yeah, and I love what you said. It should be mutual. Knowing there are going to be certain seasons where I need to lean on you and you need to lean on me, that's still part of it being reciprocal. But we both have made a commitment that this is how we're going to enter the space, right? That we're committed to this relationship. I think that's so good. Oh, yeah, we're definitely doing one on relationships and dating.
01:05:57
Speaker
I can't remember who it was. I think I went to like one of like Paul's get togethers, but it's just like, you know, some of the shows you can just take your brain out and just watch it. Love Island is one of those shows.
01:06:14
Speaker
not that I'm plugging that show, but I'm like, oh, I don't have to think I could just like melt to the couch. I mean, to be fair, the examples that we gave were like, British murder mystery, law and order, and then Love Island. So you guys can guess our art, we have a whole spectrum of things we enjoy watching. And dad loves homework movies. So it's just kind of like, fast and furious, and Crystal does not. Oh.
01:06:45
Speaker
To all my Fast and Furious friends, no shade to you, just not my cup of tea. The first one, I actually watched the first one, I thought you liked that, that was a good one. Yeah, but Lauren, there's like 10 of them now. Yeah, but like one was solid. One was solid. You have to do it, okay. One was solid. Sequence took me to see the latest one. I feel like now for like nine and 10, I'm just like, man, but you know, I'll have a good time, you know?
01:07:15
Speaker
It was like, you know what? I think another person we follow on YouTube is just like, what has the best and first love reality? It's like, it's love reality a long time ago. I just, you know, watch it have a good time. You know, it's fun. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Well, y'all, I really hope everyone enjoyed this episode and got to know my amazing little sis.
01:07:43
Speaker
Thank you so much for joining, Lauren. It was so fun to do this with you. It was fun. I'm on the podcast. I hope you had a good time, too. I did. I'm excited for listening to more episodes and possibly coming back. Oh, yeah. You're doing the relationships and dating, for sure. I know you're trying to get out of that one, but we are going to do that one. It's the one who has been in the dating field. I mean, honestly,
01:08:10
Speaker
I don't have much experience either, sis, but I think it would be interesting to think about that. That would be very relevant for like your generation though. Very what? It's still going to be relevant for like your generation. Yeah. I'm like, how do you approach this in your 30s? Yeah. And trying to figure it out. Yeah. And still not having any answers, but like still trying to figure it out. Absolutely. Not being a scarcity mindset, but being like... Where the men's at? I'm sorry.
01:08:40
Speaker
Wild. Okay. Well, remember that there is more than enough space for you to be seen and to see others. Thank you all so much for joining this episode. We'll talk to you all soon. All right. Bye.