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Hey Kid, Can I Have Five Bucks?
396 Plays2 years ago
On the latest episode of History Defeats Itself John continues his theme of shitting on NASA as he leads the crew in a discussion about the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster. Man, he really is upset about not being able to go to Space Camp when he was a kid.
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Transcript
Adverse Reaction to COVID Booster
00:00:00
Speaker
But so I got a COVID booster on Sunday, great timing, and around like four hours after I got it, my incision was like bright red and hurt so fucking bad.
00:00:15
Speaker
And then in my left testicle, I don't know, when they did the surgery, I don't know what they did to my left nut. They did something to my left nut. And I think because it's like they're moving stuff around, right? And I think it was like pulling on that little nut cord. It's just like banging. Is that a scientific term? There is a nut cord. Yeah, there's a nut cord. It's called pain. Anyway, and so it was like my left nut swelled up.
00:00:44
Speaker
twice the size as my right nut. Did Daniel Day-Lewis make a movie about that? Yeah, yeah. He couldn't speak or talk, but he could write things with his left testicle.
Introduction to 'History Defeats Itself'
00:01:00
Speaker
It's a beautiful story.
00:01:08
Speaker
History Defeats Itself is a comedy podcast. Kevin, John and Greg are not experts, historians, or even all that smart.
00:01:21
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Welcome to History Defeats Itself, a comedy podcast that looks at events or people from the past and wonders, why do we never learn from our history? Only one of us knows the topic and the other two are in the dark, learning as we go right along with you. My name is Kevin, and as always, I'm joined by my good friends, John and Greg.
Humorous Bigfoot and Podcast Rankings
00:01:40
Speaker
How are you guys? What is that? It's Bigfoot drinking. It's a really big beer. Oh, all right. Bigfoot would need a big beer in order to feel it, you would think.
00:01:49
Speaker
That's true. I mean, he would actually just carry around a keg. He would tap a keg. You have like an IPA, like a double, like a dippa? Yeah. Of all the crazy, I don't know what you call them, like monsters, he seems like he's the one that parties the most. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. You could do some fun stuff on the water with Nessie, with Loch Ness. I feel like vampires would be the biggest party animals because they sleep all day.
00:02:16
Speaker
That's true. I would always be concerned that they were going to kill me at any moment though. I feel like Bigfoot might be kind of fun. He might be kind of chill. I'm just misunderstood. He's definitely like earthy, right? He's like the salt of the earth kind of guy. Yeah, just get around the campfire, have a keg of beer, talk about the good old days. He composts. He does. He's also kind of a pussy because he's so elusive.
00:02:43
Speaker
Yeah. But hey, wouldn't you like to be anonymous? Wouldn't we all? No, I want everyone in the world to know who we are. I want to be anonymous. That's true. I want the name John Banks to be associated with the number 37 podcast in the world. 37? I don't want to be number one. It seems like a lot of pressure. Yeah.
00:03:04
Speaker
37 is a sweet spot. I never want to be compared to Joe Rogan either. No, no. Who's, right, isn't the two girls who have a sex podcast, didn't they like take over the number one spot? I don't know who that is. I've never heard of that podcast. It was, it's like two girls, one podcast.
00:03:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that was good. That was good. I don't think anybody's going to get it, because it's such an old reference, right? That is an old reference, yeah. But you know what? We cater to older people.
Podcast Network Issues and Listener Apology
00:03:34
Speaker
What's true? Senior citizens. Hard to forget, also. But to answer your question, Kevin, I'm doing fantastic. How are you doing? Good, good. I'm doing great. Can't complain. You guys got a big trip coming up? You guys excited? I was just in Chicago for four days and now on my way to AZ. Hey, how was the Portillo's?
00:03:54
Speaker
Oh man, it was phenomenal. That's pretty damn good, isn't it? Holy shit, that was good. So the picture you sent us, was it a desk or was it a nightstand? I'm not sure why that matters so much. I think it matters because the nightstand means you were laying in bed eating. I thought I responded. It was a desk. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't, I don't. We had just finished one of Ray's hockey games and, um,
00:04:20
Speaker
We just wanted to grab some food because it was really late and we did it. We couldn't eat there. We went to Portillo's. It was just a drive through or pickup only. So we just like.
00:04:31
Speaker
hung out. Nice. Drank some beers, ate some Portillo's, and man, it was a great night. Yeah, that sounds pretty awesome. I love Chicago. Yeah, it's fun. It's a fun city. It is a fun city. One of my funnest weekends ever is when Greg and I came to see you. Oh, it was so much fun. We had such a blast. Yeah, that was ridiculous. And then we got lost at like four in the morning. That's when I fell in love with Sheena. Yeah, you and everybody else.
00:04:55
Speaker
You think everybody fell in love with it that weekend? That weekend? That's a common thing. There's a Wikipedia for it. So if you had some issues or delays downloading our last episode, we would like to apologize. As many of you know, we were part of a podcast network and recently we decided to leave the network.
00:05:16
Speaker
Apparently that didn't sit well with them and they were not super helpful on getting the show moved to our new host. So there were some platforms that didn't get updated for a few days. I think everything should be good now. Um, but if you have a favorite app that we aren't showing up on, please email me at history defeats itself at gmail.com and I will reach out to them and get it fixed. So apologies to anyone who had, uh, issues with that, but we were, this is where we talk shit about our former network. If you feel, if you feel the need.
00:05:46
Speaker
Well, I've got some things I want to say. No, not really. That's tonight's topic.
00:05:54
Speaker
No, it is what it is, but we're we're we're happy to be out on our own. And we do apologize if anybody had any issues. Also, I want to give a huge shout out to friend of the show, Alison Hare.
Shoutout to Alison Hare's 'Culture Changers'
00:06:09
Speaker
Her incredible podcast, Culture Changers, is a must listen. This is a woman who had a seemingly perfect life along with a six figure salary, but she was miserable. In fact, she told me she was fucking miserable.
00:06:22
Speaker
That's pretty miserable, I would think. You know, when you drop it out. That's more than just miserable. Yeah, definitely. That's how I feel every time I do this podcast. Okay. Fucking miserable. Fucking miserable. Yeah. But I hate myself, so let's... She did say that she had been listening to us a lot lately at the time.
00:06:40
Speaker
So anyway, she, she up and quit her job with no plan. And now she's on a journey to find what moves her. She's taken 12 hour walks. She's tried shrooms and she even did a solo overnight hike in the woods. That's pretty nuts. Like I don't, I don't, could you guys do that? I don't know if I could do that. I've seen Blair Witch. I don't need that shit. Well, I mean like what region of the world does she live in?
00:07:04
Speaker
I don't know. I think she's on Eastern Time Zone, I think. I would not do it on the East Coast, no. I don't even like taking my trash hands in the curb at night. I take the elevator to go to the lobby and I live on the first floor. I mean, seriously though, can you imagine? I love adventure, but an overnight hike by yourself in the woods.
00:07:29
Speaker
I don't know. I wouldn't do it. Well, because I'm terrified of the dark. So if it was like a full moon and I had a campfire and some buddies and. Oh, you forget this key part here, which was alone.
00:07:44
Speaker
Solo hike. Well, I was thinking like maybe we were hiking as Han Solo. We're all dressed up like Han Solo. There's nine of us dressed as solos. Okay. Yeah. No, not what she did. No, I would not do that. I think it'd be crazy too. Yeah. I'd be terrified of the animal eating me. Yeah. The animal thing would be huge. Yeah, for sure. For sure. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts. No, that sounds like a terrifying place to be. So she should do ayahuasca.
00:08:13
Speaker
She should. Well, hopefully she listens to this and you can give her some tips. I can. First, do ayahuasca and then let's talk. Get ready to get sick. Just poop your pants and throw up a lot. No big deal. But you see God. Okay, good. I do that anyway. See God or poop your pants? Poop pants. Throw up. Those things.
00:08:49
Speaker
But so, so Allison is documenting her journey on the Culture Changers podcast. She talks to some fascinating people and it's totally worth a listen if you want some inspiration and some cool stories. So definitely check it out. That's Culture Changers with Allison Hare, wherever you get your podcasts. All right, this intro is long. I apologize. So real quick, follow us on TikTok and Instagram. And for more hilarious content from your three favorite podcast hosts, don't forget to sign up for our newsletter, The Mistorian.
00:09:02
Speaker
I saw God in a Cole's once.
Promotion of 'The Mistorian' Newsletter
00:09:16
Speaker
Head to HistoryDefeatsItself.com. Okay, John.
00:09:19
Speaker
I think you're forgetting to tell people that we're giving out life advice, sports advice. That is true. So it's not just a comedy newsletter. It's really how to make your life better. So basically you wanted me to focus on the part that you do. No, no. I'm saying like, I don't do sports shit. That's true. Do we do sports shit? I was just assuming Greg's going to do a video about hockey. Greg, you should do a video about hockey. We're basically the Oprah of newsletters.
00:09:49
Speaker
I think we're more like the Dr. Oz. God, we are recording this on election night. Let's just hope that doesn't happen. So it's either a new dawn or the end of the world. Yeah. So we'll see. All right. I'm kicking this bad boy off. Let's go, Johnny Baby. Let's do this.
Fascination with Space and Black Holes
00:10:11
Speaker
Is it about beards? Hey, guys, what's your favorite part about space? Beards.
00:10:19
Speaker
You know what, John? I'm glad you asked. That was, I know you didn't. Damn it, Greg, I was going to say space beards. You dick. What about space pirates? Ooh. I did, uh, I did enjoy, um, uh, cowboy bebop. Oh, and, and space balls. And space balls. But I did like cowboy bebop.
00:10:41
Speaker
What about Star Wars? I did like Star Wars. All right, that's good stuff. Solid acting, good costumes, seamless segues. Mark Hamill was robbed of Oscars three times. Terrible actor. He's so bad. There's a reason he hasn't done a whole hell of a lot else. Yeah, have you ever seen him in anything else? I mean, he's a great guy. Did you guys, were you guys into, he's a great guy. We hang out on the weekends. Did you guys get into Batman the Animated Series when you were kids? Of course. Yeah, he was a joker.
00:11:11
Speaker
Yeah. That's pretty good. He's a pretty good joker. He's actually done a lot of voiceover work since Star Wars. Is the topic Mark Hamill?
00:11:22
Speaker
We know a lot about it, so I'm excited. It's the tragedy of Mark Hamill No, so we're gonna talk wait black holes What that's your favorite part about space? Yeah black holes, right? You guys know this I'm fascinated by the cosmos and space and all that stuff I I watch shit about that all the time and you know I'm usually stoned so I can keep watching it over and over again, which is nice
00:11:45
Speaker
Right. Cause you're just like, you have to keep pausing, going backwards or reverse rewind. Is that what they call it? Rewind. I think there's like zero retention. There's a white Greg. There's like zero retention. No, no, no. Um, Oh, so, so my, uh, my, my dad, this is not a funny thing. My dad is starting to have some memory issues. And so like two days ago, my mom texted me and she goes, uh, your dad just said he saw you talking about
00:12:13
Speaker
healthcare or something like that. And I was like, well, I said, we're, we're doing video stuff now. So, and she's like, Oh, okay. So he's only, he's only half losing his memory. And I was like, yeah, I guess I was like, maybe he could have totally saw us. But I don't remember talking about healthcare. No, no, we totally didn't. So I think it's like something that we would talk about. I mean, yeah, we have talked about health related topics, right? So not on video, I don't think, but good news is my dad's watching the podcast. Hey, good. Yeah. Well, welcome.
00:12:41
Speaker
Duran. What? Duran. Duran? Yeah. Oh, I'm never gonna remember that. Welcome, Larry. Close enough. Whatever. Alright, so tonight we're gonna talk about the tragedy that was the
Challenger Explosion: Introduction
00:12:59
Speaker
Challenger explosion. Ah.
00:13:02
Speaker
Lots of room for comedy here. Well, there actually is. Okay, good. So... Comedy of errors. Well, it is crazy how... Yeah, so we're gonna get into it, but it was like, you know, it was like the O-ring thing, but...
00:13:19
Speaker
So there's a lot of room for butthole jokes. Do you guys remember, I think we were, can I recall, we were watching it in class when I was in school. Yeah. I feel like, because I remember, I have a vague memory of that. So here's the thing, I always thought I was in the third grade when that happened, and then when I started doing the research, it was 1986, January 28th, 1986.
Personal Memories of the Challenger Launch
00:13:40
Speaker
So I was not in the third grade then, I was like,
00:13:44
Speaker
Fifth grade, I think. But anyway, so I was just like, it's kind of interesting how your memory works because I always thought I was younger when I saw that. Greg had two kids. He did. I think 86, you probably were in third grade for the fifth time. I'm well. I think I feel like... That's called Alabama sixth grade. That's what we call it. Great. John, what year did you graduate high school?
00:14:05
Speaker
Me? Yeah. You're the only John on the podcast that I know of. True. I'll take them. Please. You actually know.
00:14:16
Speaker
I know he graduated in 1993. Nice. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So because I, man, you were in third grade for that because I feel like No, I was in fifth grade. No, he wasn't. He thought he was in third grade. I'm saying the way that I always remembered it as I was in third grade and because I remember watching it.
00:14:37
Speaker
And I was sitting on the mic, we had a little library, it was like the middle of the school, and everybody in the school was in the library watching the space launch. I remember being in class, but that would put me in first grade, and I don't think that... I don't know, what doesn't matter? Okay, so I was in 10th grade, and I had a very good memory of it, because I was already shaving.
00:15:02
Speaker
In fairness, you were also shaving in third grade, though. That's true. That's a good point. I was. But yeah, I remember that happening. It was everybody kind of looked at each other and went, wow, that's not not good.
00:15:17
Speaker
No. Not a good thing happened. Yeah. All right, so NASA's shuttle program began in the 1970s to create reusable craft for transporting cargo into space.
NASA's Space Shuttle Program and Challenger
00:15:30
Speaker
Before this, spacecraft could only be used once and then they discarded the thing, which most of it just burned up coming back in the atmosphere. Hold on. I have a fucking cat in my room. Oh, wait. Is that a problem? Wouldn't it be two cats? No, I don't know. It's like. So you have a masturbating cat in your room.
00:15:48
Speaker
No, the fucking wasn't like literal. Oh, it was understood as a whole cat. Got it. Fucking in my room. Hang on a second. What's the problem with the cat? Like maybe it's maybe it's his. I'm not going to edit this out. It's too much work. No, you shouldn't totally. This is this is Greg being Greg ruining everything. He's got a nice shirt on, though. He does. And a good haircut. Did you guys hear that fucking meow? No, I couldn't hear it.
00:16:14
Speaker
No, I couldn't hear it. I'm surprised the microphone didn't pick it up. Hey, John, do you think there was really a cat? I know. I thought that because he was down low and I opened the door and I'm like, get the fuck out of here. And you guys are probably like, God, Greg, you're just having an episode on time. Seeing your moment. There's a gremlin in my room. I'm going to get rid of it. It's on the side of the plane. I hope I see a cheeseburger next.
00:16:41
Speaker
That'd be great. I could use one of those. Yeah, I could too. What would you do with it, Kevin? I forget. Well, you said you could use one. I just want to know how. I would probably eat it. You said it, Kevin. I would use it as sustenance, Greg. Sustenance. Ain't no sustenance in a cheeseburger, Kevin. Well, okay. Yes, there is. Isn't sustenance just like filling you up? It doesn't need to be healthy.
00:17:09
Speaker
I guess, where? I look like a fucking dictionary? No. No, you look like an old Jewish man. Perfect. You look like an old Jewish dictionary. That's the look I'm going for. Man, we get lots of buzzy. Isn't that, I think that's called the Torah. You look like the Torah. I look like the Torah? Yeah.
00:17:25
Speaker
Did you have to read me backwards? I do. And I want to understand any of them. Do you want to find your section for your bar mitzvah? Did you guys, when you were kids, when I was in the third or fourth grade, like NASA actually came to our school and did like this whole organization? Yeah, all of NASA came to, yeah. They actually moved their headquarters to John's school. It was budget cuts. They were just in the coat room in the back.
00:17:55
Speaker
And every time they would launch a rocket, it would literally, it would burn the whole school down. They're like, hey, John. John, which way is this pencil sharpener? Which way is the library? But now they're like, John, John, want to buy some weed? Hey, I'll give you the answers to the test. You give me five bucks.
Challenger Launch Delays
00:18:15
Speaker
We gotta send rockets to the moon! It's expensive. Hey Jon, wanna buy some Space Age Scantron? Space Age what? Scantron! Hey Jon, do you have a number two pencil? It's gotta be number two, it's very important.
00:18:33
Speaker
We just even gritted this thing called an Atari. Do you want one? Wait, NASA did that? No, but they came to our school and they did this whole thing about, you know how like the space shuttles, the bottom of them are black and it's like this heat shield thing? Yeah. So they took like a blowtorch and they had, I remember the kids was miked something or another. Anyway, he was on stage and they were like hitting it with a blowtorch.
00:18:53
Speaker
And they gave a small child a blowtorch. No, no, no, no, no. The guy did the presentation like this is really just disconnected from behavior. Firstly, go to an Alabama school. I mean, like, no, dude, like when we get into why that thing blew up, like, like the real reason it blew up is because they went to your school and you guys put it together. Yeah. Yeah. This all makes sense. Well, because they had us actually fucking design the thing and we were all third graders.
00:19:21
Speaker
That explains the weird shape it had. I wasn't even doing cursive yet. John's like, in all honesty, it's amazing it got that far if you think about it.
00:19:32
Speaker
No, it's like so they're like they're like doing the blowtorch on the little panel and then they have Mike touch it and it was like ice cold and then they let us all like are not all like like they like later that this thing said it we were like they would do that you could touch it and it's crazy because it like it immediately It's like it doesn't hold heat like it cools off immediately. It's crazy and three days later Mike's fingers fell off
00:19:56
Speaker
Mike never came back to school. He got the space cancer. He drowned in a swimming pool of Tang. What? He's working down at the AMP. No, Tang. Remember Tang? I do remember Tang. But that was like a whole space thing. That was the astronaut drink. No, I get that. I'm just not sure why there's a swimming pool. Anyway, continue.
00:20:23
Speaker
Well, because NASA came to my fucking school, why are you not getting this? So they gave me your school and they poured tang in your pool? How is he gonna drown that much volume? You're not gonna drown in a cup of tang. God damn it. He's not a toddler, I mean toddlers can drown in three inches of water, but he was in the fifth grade. True. I thought it was third. So... I really don't know. I don't know either.
00:20:49
Speaker
So the first shuttle, Columbia, launched in 1981, and then a year later, the Challenger came off the assembly line and was ready to go. So they launched it for the first time in 1982. Was it basically the same design? Yeah. It was more like the Dodge Challenger. The what? The Dodge Challenger. Yes. They had Gary and Earl fucking going into space in a Dodge Challenger. It was sporty, but not real functional. Everything broke on the inside.
00:21:20
Speaker
It had nine successful missions and then on its 10th mission, well, it did not succeed. It said fuck you guys. It did say fuck you. The Challenger shuttle mission 51-L was scheduled to carry some cargo, the tracking data relay satellite 2, as well as fly the shuttle pointed tool for astronomy to observe Haley's comet.
00:21:44
Speaker
So that was everything that was on there. And the mission was scheduled to be the first flight of a new program called the Teacher in Space Program. I remember that part. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's why we were watching it, right? Yeah. I think that's why it was such a big deal for all of us. It was such a big deal. Yeah. And so. What'd you say, Greg? Her name was Krista McAuliffe. Damn, dude. That's impressive. It was Sharon. I was intense fucking grade McAuliffe.
00:22:09
Speaker
It was what? Sharon Krista McAuliffe. Oh, your memory sucks, Greg. Yeah, but she didn't go by Sharon. Piece of shit. God. What? We gotta fire you. Yeah. You just, you make us look dumb, you know? Yeah, you do. And old. I do. I do.
00:22:28
Speaker
All right, well, and then I can't be, stay mad at you. Yeah, I know. He wins this round again. Yep. Um, the challenger was scheduled to carry, Carrie Sharon, Krista McAuliffe, the first teacher to fly in space selected from among more than 11,000 applicants. McAuliffe was very excited about the opportunity to participate in the space program. Quote, I watched the space age begin. I'm sorry. I watched the space age being born and I would like to participate.
00:22:56
Speaker
So yeah, so she was super psyched. I do remember like watching interviews of her and you know, I definitely remember like the lead up to it. I can still picture her walking to the shuttle. Like to do that big long walk, you know, I totally can picture that. She had like curly hair, right? Kind of like. She's on curly hair. Yep. Yeah. It's really sad. Yeah, it really is like it really is. So this is not that this is not the comedy portion. This is not the fun part. No, this sucks.
00:23:19
Speaker
So, um, but I, but I, but it was like, you know, it's like her new theme is kind of like, you know, stupid things that are done. And it wasn't, it wasn't the O-ring that was the stupid part. It was like what NASA did about it. That was like, just what the fuck? Um, so what they did about it before or after? Well, what they did, what they did about it before, because they actually, they, they spoiler here, but they knew about it. They knew it was a problem.
00:23:45
Speaker
They were aware that it was a problem and they didn't shit about it. Sometimes you have a schedule. You don't want to delay things. The launch had been delayed several times. Besides the McAuliffe, the Challenger crew consisted of Mission Commander Francis R. Scobee, Pilot Michael J. Smith, Mission Specialist Ronald E. McNair,
00:24:08
Speaker
Ellison S. Onozuka and Judith A. Resnick, a payload specialist and payload specialist, George B. Jarvis. And Christa was also considered, she was on the docket as a payload specialist. I'm sorry, would you call her? Payload specialist, Christa? No, no, no. I'd call her Christa. Yeah, Christa. Sharon, you called her Sharon. Yeah, I don't think you said Sharon, did you? I didn't. I didn't. I was just saying, OK, just checking. OK. All right, your memory's back.
00:24:39
Speaker
So from the beginning, Shuttle Mission 51L was burdened with problems. Liftoff was initially scheduled at 3.43 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on January 22, 1986.
00:24:52
Speaker
It slipped to January 23rd, then January 24th due to delays in Mission 61c, and finally reset for January 25th because of bad weather at Transoceanic abort landing site in Dakar, Senegal. Which I guess apparently like if there's a problem that like, which is kind of crazy, right? So like it has to be good weather for the shuttle to launch. And if there's any problems, there also has to be good weather for the shuttle to come down and land.
00:25:16
Speaker
And so they have like these, they have like over the world, depending on how the launch trajectory is going, they have all these different sites where the shuttles are set up to, or where they were, set up to like have emergency landings. Which it is, yeah, it's like crazy, right? And you would think an organization- That's what we're thinking. Well, you would think, right? Like, so they put that much thought into it. Yeah, just not in the o-ring. Yeah, just not in the, yep. Hey Greg, have you noticed that John's last two episodes are shooting on NASA?
00:25:45
Speaker
Oh, good point. Is there something? He's got a vendetta. He's got a vendetta. Yeah, no, I do, because they came to my fucking school. Did you want to get into NASA and they turned you down? Be honest. No, I wanted to go to space camp, and my parents wouldn't pay for it. So really, this is about my parents, but I can't. But you're taking it out on NASA. I am. Well, he can't do a whole episode shitting on his parents. That just would be weird. No, they're senior citizens. This isn't Germany. That's not what I meant, but anyway.
00:26:16
Speaker
He didn't mean, he didn't mean figuratively. Literally, I don't know. I meant thinking, anyway, continue. Let's not unpack this. Yeah. Pack it back up. Put some tape on it. Put it back in. Well, it was actually you, Kevin, because when you did the whole rocket thing, I was like, Oh, you know what? I bet there's a lot of like fuck ups and space stuff. And so it's like, I just, I had this great, now we know what, now he's got a theme for how he gets episodes.
00:26:42
Speaker
No. I was, well, it was this or it was, yeah, it was this or something else. I'm going to do this something else next time. And I was just like, you know, is this something else? How about you hate your parents? Because about, because they would send you to space camp. It's about the Russian space program. Gotcha. Yeah. Be careful. I hate it. I hate all space programs. Don't piss Putin off. He's in a role. Yeah. Yeah. He'll knew. Did you know they're called a cosmonauts? I did actually know that. Cosmonauts.
00:27:11
Speaker
Because they go into the cosmos. They do. They don't go into the Astros. But the Astros did win the World Series. They fucking just did. And somebody threw a white claw at Ted Cruz during the parade. I was going to say that was not my white claw. But I do appreciate...
00:27:33
Speaker
Do not condone violence of any kind Goddamn it. We don't like that guy. We don't like that guy and I will admit I chuckled at the headline But I don't condone that kind of behavior right sir If you're going to an assault a human being with a white cloth just open it and let them drink That's the best way to do it
00:27:59
Speaker
That is true. Let them get a headache and throw up. Yeah.
00:28:06
Speaker
So the launch after being postponed three times was postponed again for one day when launch processing was unable to meet a new morning liftoff time. Predicted bad weather at Kennedy Space Center caused the launch to be rescheduled for 937 on January 27th. Jesus, at least not omens. Like at some point just shut the program down. Just say, you know what? Sorry, we're not putting a teacher into space anymore.
00:28:32
Speaker
So, so this is 937 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, January 27th. And then it was delayed another 24 hours when the ground service equipment hatch closing fixture could not be removed from the orbiter hatch. So then they had to saw the fucking thing off and replace it. Yeah. Come on. I know. They basically put a screen door on the shuttle and like, let's get this fucker into space. Then there was the fresh air this way.
00:29:00
Speaker
If you just put the lock on, you just put the little hook on the screen. Oh, the little hook on the little island? Yeah, it's fine. Things not going anywhere. They say space is a vacuum, but how do we know? Nobody's been up there. You know, my dad was an aerospace engineer, and the company they worked for at the time manufactured the landing gears for the space shuttle. Oh, no shit. And he would tell me all the time, like, the launch is going to get scrubbed.
00:29:28
Speaker
We got we got problems. We have problems. They're not telling you but it's gonna get scrubbed again And he thought it was never it was gonna take off, but they took off Well, you don't have to land you can just parachute up
00:29:41
Speaker
Right. So he legitimately figured the program that was just never going to they were never going to fix the problems. No, he just assumed that they were just going to actually fix the problem before they. Oh, gosh. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. But he wasn't like he didn't know the extent of all the problems, but he would get calls to saying, oh, they're saying that there's a problem with the landing gear, so it can't take off. And he was like, well, what do you want me to do about it? I already made the thing. I made the thing. I'm sitting down. I'm having dinner.
00:30:11
Speaker
I got my own things going on. Trying to relax with a nice micalobe. I got my mustache. Just a micalobe. He did. He had his mustache. He needed to maintain that. He did. My dad still rocks the mustache. He's still got to sell it going. Good for him. Yeah. He didn't even get a little food cut there. He started naming people with mustaches. I was going to say John Banks. I mean, I do. Technically, there was a mustache there. Yeah.
00:30:45
Speaker
Look like okay Got nothing. Well, he's got a lot. He's got much thicker facial hair than I do Who John banks I do Actually, I don't it's just it's so boring Fucking Kevin So then there was a gun history must
00:31:10
Speaker
Then there was a feeling buzzed right now. Hey guys, did I tell you I'm not going to coach tonight? That's probably good for the, for the youth. I can't legally get there myself. I, um, second off, I'm not coaching tonight either. I am. Yeah. Yeah. But that's mostly cause I can't skate. So it's hard for me to get out there and coach on the ice. I'm not surprised you can't skate. Well, I'm from Alabama. We didn't have ice rinks.
00:31:34
Speaker
You'll have NASA. You had space shuttles. You had space camp. We did. Sadly, you could not go. I could not. You should have learned how to ice skate while everybody else was at space camp. Instead, he went to fan camp. He arrived and they're like, I think you might be in the wrong place. You weigh 47 pounds.
00:31:57
Speaker
Yup. I wouldn't know the fat kids would chase me and try to eat me. That was their way of getting exercise? Yup. Aw man, you're a fattest. There's a lot wrong with this whole discussion. We can't edit any of that, can we? We're gonna get cancelled. Nope. There's no editing.
00:32:13
Speaker
You know, here's what's going to happen. I mean, I can't. It's just a lot of work. We're going to offend some people. We're going to blow up because everybody's mad at us and then we're going to get canceled. But we're going to have like a moment. I'll take that moment. Yeah. We're going to have this is going to be a nice moment for us. How much do we get? Oh, it's going to be big. Well, we're going to have lawyer bills afterwards. So let's just make sure we save it. We're going to get that YouTube money.
00:32:34
Speaker
That's right. Um, so then there was a final delay of two hours when a hardware interface module in the launch processing system, which monitors fire detection system failed during liquid hydrogen tanking procedures. Feel like you want that working. Wait, is this the space shuttle or Chernobyl? I think, uh, but didn't Chernobyl have nuclear waste problems? I don't think the space shuttle did. Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:03
Speaker
And you will be happy to know they used solid fuel, Kevin. Oh, good. By the way, my question was not serious, John.
00:33:16
Speaker
I don't understand. Well, you try to answer it seriously. Oh, oh, no, no, I didn't. I was just trying to be a dick. So it was my tone that was confusing, I think. Yeah, John. That's why I didn't recognize. Hey, everybody, John was trying to be so boring. OK, Jesus. So the catchphrase is to beat itself. This is so boring. Yeah.
00:33:45
Speaker
So finally, this motherfucker took off. I don't think it's boring, Kevin. At 11 38 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, January 28th, 1986. Pretty fucking good for a couple of minutes. Pretty good. Actually, it wasn't a couple of minutes. 73 seconds. That's rounded up. Yeah. 73 seconds and then kaboom.
Presidential Reaction to the Challenger Disaster
00:34:11
Speaker
After Ronald Reagan made a statement, quote, today is a day for mourning and remembering. Nancy and I pained our pain to the core over the tragedy of the shuttle Challenger. We know we share this pain with all of the people of our country, which I got to say, it was definitely like one of those like Kennedy moments, right? Like, I mean, I wasn't alive when Kennedy, but it was like one of those moments where it's like, Oh shit. Like I'm never going to forget this. Yeah, for sure. Obviously all three of us remember it. Yeah.
00:34:37
Speaker
I mean, especially Greg because he was 27 years old. I was already ejaculating, no problem. So afterwards, a special commission to investigate the cause of the space shuttle Challenger accident was appointed by President Reagan.
00:34:55
Speaker
Headed by former Secretary of State William Rogers, I don't know who the fuck that is, but he's just in there. The commission included former astronaut Neil Armstrong, know who that guy is, and former test pilot Chuck Yeager, AKA the Yeagerman. Known for such drinks as the Yeagerbomb and Yeagermeister. Well, actually he was the master of Yeager.
00:35:18
Speaker
Wow, I didn't know that. Yeah. So it was a test pilot. So if you're going to be testing planes and dying or almost dying, you should be drunk. Absolutely. I would not want to be sober for that. You guys ever see the right stuff? I did. I don't think I ever saw that. That was a really good movie. You'd like it, Kevin. Yeah, I think so. It's a classic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll put that on the list of movies. I'm probably never going to see. That sounded super patronizing.
00:35:42
Speaker
Honestly, that is one that I want to see. I do want to see it. That movie is like six hours long. It is. What? No. No, it's not. It's like two hours and 20 minutes. It was one of the... It used to be when a movie was over two hours, you got a double cassette, a double VHS cassette. It was one of those. Be kind, rewind. Isn't it funny that if there's a movie that's over two hours, we're like, oh my God, I'm not watching that, but we'll binge a 15-episode season of a show.
00:36:12
Speaker
Yeah. What is that? Funny. This is so boring.
00:36:24
Speaker
Can't even find how long that movie was. It can't be that hard. Just fucking Google how long was the right stuff. Yeah, but for some stupid reason, my browser is set to bing and now... That's still like actually a thing. I don't know how. And now you have time travel to 2007 and you don't know how to get back to the future. Find Marty McFly. Start a Beltavista. Yep.
00:36:49
Speaker
Three hours and 13 minutes, buddy. That's long. That's like three. That's like three cassettes. Yeah, that is I mean, they really could have just been like, okay You had these guys that came and they fly to the moon. There you go. Boom done You're right, that's this is why
00:37:09
Speaker
I'm gonna keep doing this. This is boring. The commissioner's report cited the cause of the disaster as the failure of an O-ring seal and the solid fuel rocket on the Space Shuttle Challenger's right side. You know, there's one time that my hose outside was leaking, and I couldn't figure out why it was leaking. It turned out O-rings. It was the O-ring, yeah. O-rings are very important for a lot of reasons. So I can relate.
00:37:41
Speaker
Because because your house exploded from the water leaking hell because nothing happened There was water I had water on me it was it was a disaster the whole time we say this is so boring This podcast
00:38:05
Speaker
It's not good. It's not John's. No, definitely not. It's not his fault at all. I blame NASA. Good fucking shit up, NASA. Yeah. I feel like you do blame me. I feel like that's all. I think you're doing a great job. I like this episode. I don't believe you. Do you remember taxes? That was an episode you could sink your teeth into. Oh, man. You guys suck. I like this episode. Fuck you. I can't help it if I'm drinking.
00:38:34
Speaker
What did you do? What didn't you do, Kevin? Is it the Ougas? You've said this episode was boring ten times. I didn't say episode was boring, so you guys' discussion was boring. Oh, okay, okay. So that's really easy to misinterpret, but... No, that's not. Wait, can I make a noise? Do I have the ability to do that? To do what? To make the Uga noise? No. Do you want me to do it? Can I do a fuck you, Kevin? Fuck you, Kevin.
00:39:06
Speaker
The faulty design of the sill, coupled with the unusually cold weather, let hot gases leak through the joint.
00:39:15
Speaker
That's it. And the booster rocket flames were able to pass through the failed seal enlarging the small hole. The flames then burned through the external fuel tank and through one of the supports that attached the booster to the side of the tank. Then the booster broke loose and collided with the tank. Which, how the fuck do they figure all this out, right? Because the whole thing blows up and maybe like they were picking up pieces for months. And then somehow these motherfuckers go to a warehouse and like, I don't know,
00:39:43
Speaker
Ohio and they fucking put this thing back together and figure all this shit out. But do they have data like, I know this was a long time ago, but you know, I like to watch Formula One Racing and they have all sorts of data, you know, like in their, in their little, you know, in the pit area. So they don't have to, I don't know, maybe, you know, maybe NASA had some sort of thing where they collected data from afar, you know? But how? How would you like do that?
00:40:09
Speaker
I don't know, the Formula One dudes do it. Wait, but they collect data when they're in the cockpit, right? No, no, no, they can see stuff. And I know this is, again, it was a long time ago, but NASA's always got always ahead, so they can see how the tires are wearing, they can see what the engine's doing while the race is going on. No shit. Yeah, no, yeah. Telemetry, I think they call it.
00:40:34
Speaker
Telekinesis? Yes. You're making up words now. No, I'm not making up words. Yes, I am actually. I'm making up this whole thing. No. They could do that, but I mean, again, long time ago. So I don't know if they could have done that, but... Or they're just lying to us to give us an answer. Could be.
00:40:52
Speaker
I mean, I'll say this much, and I'm not trying to belittle anybody, you know, the tragedy and how awful it was, but not a terrible way to go. Just blowing up at a space shuttle. Oh, God. No, I would totally... If we have a nuclear war, I want to be ground zero. I want to be flying in the place where it blows up. Yeah, oh, my God. I want to ride the nuclear warhead like Dr. Strangelove. I would rather be a couple miles out and live without an eye for a couple weeks and then make it fall off. You said that only just... How would that... If you're a couple miles out and the nuclear
00:41:22
Speaker
Warhead thing you know just affect your one eye I'm just saying I want to just I was talking about my balls a second you wouldn't let me finish oh Okay, continue. I have I'd have my bangs I'd be like You wouldn't have bangs because you wouldn't have scissors to cut bangs you just have long hair the nuclear warhead thing would cut my bangs
00:41:47
Speaker
I don't think you understand what nuclear warheads are. Apparently he thinks it's just going to hurt his eye. I don't think you know how Kevin gets his hair cut. It's like it explodes over the city of Los Angeles and everybody in Los Angeles gets bangs. It's a tragedy. It's a good look. I want to be the first one out. I don't want to live in a post-apocalyptic world. Oh yeah, we talked about this on another episode and yeah, you definitely wanted to be patient zero. Yeah, so I was recently listening to our friend of the show, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
00:42:16
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, he loves coming on here. I am so tired of their tattoos like he's always texting me when can I be on the show? We're gonna be on the show on the dude. You're coming out way too strong in the tick fix I mean I mean no way to go buddy, but seriously I don't need to keep seeing it over and over again. I mean it's just really it's like a same angle to give me something new you know I know he was a hanger downer like that. I'd show it to you guys
00:42:44
Speaker
He actually would be one who would have to tuck his dick into his shirt if he was getting his balls, you know, wanted. Okay, we're getting sued. Or, or, or, you know what? Hey, prove us wrong, Neil deGrasse Tyson. Come on the show. I was just gonna say, it's like, okay, what's your complaint again? They said I had a really big dick. And it was pretty. I'm really smart, and I got a beautiful big penis.
00:43:07
Speaker
That goes up to my neck when flattened against my body. But he was talking about how nuclear weapons now, so the ones that were made, the ones that were used in World War II were uranium or plutonium or some radioactive thing, and now it's actually hydrogen, so actually you don't get nuclear fallout from nuclear bombs.
00:43:34
Speaker
if they're using warheads that were built from the 90s on. But if you have warheads that were built in the 60s and 70s, I guess, you still got the problem. So if Russia strikes, we'll probably be dead, because I'm sure their nuclear warheads are very old, as are their tanks and everything else. Those are dicks. Yeah. I mean, it really is. Who invades a country anymore? That's so... 1930s. Well, shit, no one does anything about it. Why not? Yeah, that's true.
00:44:02
Speaker
It is mean. It's very, very mean. It's like, you know, people die when you do that. History defeats itself, does not condone invading countries. Right. Unless you're doing it with white claw bombings. Listen, John, we don't condone white claws thrown at shithead politicians either. No, if you want to be a dick, though, you could just send a bunch of white claws to that country. Just prank each other. Yeah. You know, like when you ice somebody. Yeah, you can ice them.
00:44:30
Speaker
Wait, what? What's icing? Where you buy someone a Smirnoff ice and they have to chug it on one knee? Why? Do you not live in this culture? I mean, I've never... I just don't live around douchebags, I think.
00:44:44
Speaker
I don't think you have to live around a douchebag to know what that means. It's not pleasant. It's not pleasant at all. But I think I would probably take a smeared off ice over a white claw. White claw is disgusting. I would take that over being invaded by Russia. That's true. I didn't know we were going quite that far. But yes, I would as well. That's what we were saying. That's what we were saying. I mean, there's a lot of things I would take over a white claw. Like I would take a white claw versus getting a hernia surgery. If I had the choice between having a hernia and drinking a white claw, I'll drink a white claw. I think the white claw is what gave you the hernia.
00:45:13
Speaker
Little known fact. From throwing up so much. That blew out my fucking muscle. All right, so the booster broke loose and collided with the tank. Piercing the tank's side, liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen fuels from the tank and booster mixed and ignited, causing the challenger to tear apart. So. Not good. Not good. Not good. Then what happened?
00:45:40
Speaker
And then there was a bunch of bad jokes made
NASA's Oversight and the O-ring Failure
00:45:43
Speaker
about it. And so then the commission not only found fault with a failed sealant ring, but also with the officials at NASA who allowed the shuttle launch to take place despite concerns voiced by NASA engineers. So there were people saying, hey, guys, we can't launch because some shit's going to get fucked up because, and here's why, not NASA contractor, Morton Theoco. Downey Jr.
00:46:10
Speaker
Whatever happened to that guy? I don't know. He had a kid. Did he? And then he just stopped doing stuff. No, it's like 90 years old where he's famous. What was it? Was it a talk show guy? I don't remember. Yeah. Forget what his thing was. He was a comedian or something, right? No, he was a, he was a talk show. It was like Jerry Springer.
00:46:33
Speaker
He was Jerry Springer? No, he was like Jerry Springer. No, I thought he was like that. I thought he was like a talk show host comedian. Like, no, I don't really give a shit. I'm not old. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so NASA contractor, Morton of Theocole. He died in 2001, not a very current joke. No, you're, you're good for that.
00:46:57
Speaker
Is he coming back? I don't know. Ah fuck those. The funny part was I saw myself frozen. Now you know how we feel. That was scary for me. I'm like did I die? Please tell me this isn't heaven. So the company that built the boosters
00:47:20
Speaker
or help build the Challenger boosters, the solid rocket boosters, sent Alan McDonald, an engineer, to approve the Challenger space shuttle launch. Alan had concerns and refused to sign off on the launch. 12 days after Challenger exploded, McDonald stood up in a closed hearing of a presidential commission investigating the tragedy. He raised his hand and spoke. He had just heard a NASA official completely gloss over a fundamental fact. Are you guys on the edge of your seat? Like, what the fuck was that fact? I want to know. I stopped listening 10 minutes ago.
00:47:52
Speaker
Man, this is my childhood all over again. Every time we do an episode, it's literally like... I didn't even know you when we were kids. I am actually interested in what you're gonna say. And there are people listening who are too. Kevin's like...
00:48:07
Speaker
McDonald... No, McDonald's? Yeah, McDonald's. McDonald's and their team... I could really use that right now. McDonald and his team of vehicle engineers had strenuously opposed the launch, arguing that freezing overnight temperatures as low as 18 degrees Fahrenheit meant that the O-rings at the booster rocket joints would likely stiffen and fail to contain the explosive fuel burning inside the rockets. They presented data showing that O-rings had lost... Data. Yes, they did.
00:48:35
Speaker
Really you say data I say I say data. Yeah. Yeah. Oh you say it wrong both of you Okay, nope because if we know if there's one person on this program who knows words, it's me just Massachusetts Go to your go to your toilet and take a dump. Yep Look at the mirror tell it mirror Fuck you Fuck you buddy. Fuck you and ambulance. Oh
00:49:00
Speaker
Um, they presented this data. They presented data showing that O rings had lost elasticity at a much warmer temperature of 53 degrees Fahrenheit. So, you know, if again, we're not mathematicians, but 53 seems hotter than 18 degrees. So definitely hotter. Can't can't back that up, but it does seem that way.
00:49:26
Speaker
Even in Kelvin, the NASA- We still don't know what that is, do we? No. John, no more NASA episodes till we figure out what Kelvin is. I actually looked it up and then I forgot. Okay, that's very insightful. Thanks for adding that in, Greg. It was really boring.
00:49:45
Speaker
hand. The NASA officials simply said that Theoco had some concerns but approved the launch. He neglected to say that the approval came only after Theoco executives, under intense pressure from NASA officials, overruled the engineers. So basically, seven people died because some middle management dumb fuck
00:50:10
Speaker
was pushing to launch this thing. It was essentially political. They didn't want to have to postpone it again. They'd be too embarrassed. And it wasn't just seven people. It was the whole reputation.
00:50:25
Speaker
Well, but I mean the reputation, fuck the reputation, right? Seven lives are important, but it's not a good look. It's stuck with us, so I mean that's, you know, the legacy of that boneheaded decision, it lives on. So here's what, so this McDonald guy got interviewed, like he did several interviews and there's a documentary on Netflix, which I actually want to check out, but during a conference call with NASA on January 27th, 1986,
00:50:54
Speaker
Multiple engineers on McDonald's team refused to sign off on the launch the sign-off was a needed step in the safety protocols McDonald later recounted that after some pressure from NASA the engineers concerns were overridden and his boss instead signed off on the launch and Then he quoted so he was like interview. He quoted normally we have always challenged we've we are always challenged to prove it was safe to launch and
00:51:18
Speaker
We, uh, the, sorry, McDonald's said in challenger, the final flight, a Netflix documentary. Now, all of a sudden we have, we had, we got the impression that we're asking us to prove it would fail. And we couldn't do that. Right. So basically like it with the standard was if we don't think it's safe, we're not going to do it versus now you have to prove that it's going to fail. And there's no way to prove like with absolute certainty, they would fail. So. And why did they change that?
00:51:45
Speaker
Just because they want- They didn't change the policy, it was just basically in this instance. And I do think it probably had a lot to do with the delays, right? Yeah, again, it was the same face, right? They didn't want to be embarrassed and I'm sure there's political pressures, a lot of money going into this. Yeah. And so the entire space shuttle program was grounded during the Space Shuttle Challenger Commission's investigation and did not resume flying until shuttle designers made several technical modifications and NASA management implemented-
00:52:11
Speaker
Strictor regulations regarding quality control and safety. Shuttle missions resumed on September 28th, 1988.
Resuming Shuttle Missions Post-Challenger
00:52:18
Speaker
So over two years, right? No. Yeah.
00:52:22
Speaker
86, yeah, that's two years. Two years and seven months. Carry the one. Hold on, I gotta take my shoes off. And that was in 1988 with the flight of the shuttle Discovery. So I think there's a, so they actually, I think it's the Endeavor or maybe it's Discovery, but they like, one of them is here in LA.
00:52:42
Speaker
Um, they like moved it to the, um, a scientific, the science museum or something like that over. I've been there. Yeah. It's like super cool. And do you know that like that, you know, so it's the, you have the bottom part, which is black, which is like silica and it's super light. That stuff that holds the heat, but the, the actual shuttle, the white part that is marshmallow. No, it's marshmallow. It's the state bus marshmallow. Uh, and they keep the Ghostbusters on board just in case it gets out of control. So safety first, John. No, it's, it's made of sand.
00:53:11
Speaker
Somehow they take sand and they make thread out of sand and they made this thread out of sand and it's like a fabric on the top because it's very heat conductive.
00:53:25
Speaker
I did not know that. I know, it's fucking cool. So it's like a mirror. Cool shit, man. Would you guys go into space? Fuck no. If you could? No. I think we talked about this in the pie. I can't. There's no way. I couldn't handle it. That could go more than 10 feet underwater. I listened to that astronaut. What's that guy whose wife was shot?
00:53:44
Speaker
And he's got a twin brother. Gifford, Gabby. Yeah. Yeah. Gabby Gifford. He said when you go into space, like you've got a constant headache and it just, the whole experience is painful. I'm thinking, I don't know if I want to do, I don't like headaches. So it's like having COVID. Did they not have any ibuprofen on board?
00:54:07
Speaker
You know, maybe they didn't. They just had Tang. Just Tang? Tang. Yeah. All their budget went to Tang. They're IV people from budget. Tang and Pringles.
00:54:21
Speaker
And in 1991, the shuttle Endeavor joined the fleet to replace the Challenger, again bringing the number of ships to four. And as a tribute to the memories of their loved ones, the families helped from the Challenger organization, which provided resources for students, teachers, and parents for educational purposes. So anyway, that's it. So we're going to raise our glasses to middle management. Without them, history would probably have a lot less bodies strung across it. Oh, geez.
00:54:51
Speaker
Cheers, everybody. Thanks, John. That's all I got. That's all I got. Thanks, John. Thanks, Greg. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, John. Thanks, Kevin. Thanks, John. Kevin. John, sorry. You guys have a fantastic trip. We'll see you when you get back. Thank you. That's where we say you too, and then we get embarrassed because you're not going anywhere. How do you know? It's true. He's going somewhere tomorrow. He's going to go to work tomorrow.
00:55:21
Speaker
Okay. Okay, we could probably end there.