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A Very Special Thanksgiving Roast +Thanksgiving Clapback Strategy
17 Plays4 years ago
Featuring Bargin Bin Jude Law + Probably the Grossest Scrote of all time. Lilith clapsback at her Uncle. Reaux ruins Thanksgiving. Savannah's mom calls out the DURTY PEEGS. WE ARE THANKFUL FOR ALL OUR SUPPORTERS THIS YEAR!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
SPONSOR: www.betterhelp.com/FDS
Baby Trapping Post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CVt_i9NA8WM/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
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Transcript
Introduction and Thanksgiving Roast Episode
00:00:06
Speaker
I can hear Savannah munching away in the background.
00:00:11
Speaker
How appropriate.
00:00:12
Speaker
Why is it appropriate, Ro?
00:00:13
Speaker
Because this is a very special Thanksgiving roast.
00:00:20
Speaker
Oh, just kidding.
00:00:21
Speaker
Our Thanksgiving was a month ago, so.
00:00:23
Speaker
We should leave that in.
00:00:25
Speaker
A very special American Thanksgiving roast episode.
00:00:31
Speaker
I wonder if I should leave that in tonight.
00:00:34
Speaker
So, uh, anyways, what's
Introduction to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast
00:00:36
Speaker
up, queens?
00:00:36
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:42
Speaker
I'm your host, Ro.
00:00:43
Speaker
And this is Savannah with the munchies.
00:00:46
Speaker
And I'm Lilith.
00:00:47
Speaker
Yeah, this is our Thanksgiving roast.
00:00:48
Speaker
So we're going to go through some roast-ish quotes we receive from our Patreon subscribers, as well as discuss some Thanksgiving clapbacks.
00:00:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:56
Speaker
So what is this episode going to be like we're showing thanks to our Patreon subscribers?
00:01:01
Speaker
There we go.
00:01:02
Speaker
Oh, hell yeah.
00:01:02
Speaker
Okay.
00:01:03
Speaker
So special thanks to our Patreon subscribers.
00:01:05
Speaker
This episode is dedicated to you.
00:01:07
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:01:08
Speaker
And also, let's also show thanks for all the scrotes who give us so many things to roast them about.
00:01:13
Speaker
So many things.
00:01:14
Speaker
Showing thanks to the scrubs for being so incompetent that we have so much to make fun of, right?
00:01:19
Speaker
Bringing, spreading joy and happiness throughout this holiday season.
00:01:22
Speaker
Thanks for giving us plenty of fodder to dissect from now into eternity.
00:01:28
Speaker
Special thanks for all the shitty men in our lives for giving us valuable learning experiences.
00:01:33
Speaker
And the pick me's for showing us all the shit we shouldn't do.
00:01:36
Speaker
For teaching us what not to do.
00:01:37
Speaker
We
Thanking the Community and First Roast
00:01:38
Speaker
love you all.
00:01:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:39
Speaker
And special thanks to the FDS community on Facebook, Instagram, Discord, Reddit, because without you guys, we... And Twitter.
00:01:47
Speaker
Don't forget Twitter.
00:01:48
Speaker
And Twitter.
00:01:48
Speaker
Twitter as well.
00:01:49
Speaker
It's actually, it's so based on Twitter, but anyway, because without you guys, we would not be here.
00:01:54
Speaker
So thank you all.
00:01:55
Speaker
We love you all.
00:01:56
Speaker
So thanks, Queens.
00:01:58
Speaker
200,000 strong on the subreddit, 5,000 strong and counting on the Twitter and Instagram.
00:02:04
Speaker
We out here.
00:02:04
Speaker
We're there.
00:02:05
Speaker
We're getting there.
00:02:08
Speaker
We're getting there.
00:02:09
Speaker
We're getting there.
00:02:10
Speaker
Spread it to your friends.
00:02:11
Speaker
Spread the joy.
00:02:12
Speaker
Tell them about it.
00:02:12
Speaker
Spread the holiday cheer.
00:02:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:14
Speaker
If you love somebody, share the Female Dating Strategy podcast with them so they can level up their life.
00:02:19
Speaker
All right, so first up on the docket is our first roast of Scroat.
00:02:24
Speaker
Hey, FDS.
00:02:25
Speaker
Your recent post about being baby trapped inspired me to share my cautionary tale, like a ghost of Scroat future.
00:02:32
Speaker
I feel obligated to say, though, that my life is really good.
00:02:35
Speaker
I have a great job, dope friends, nice home, and my aforementioned kids are well-adjusted and happy, but the road was unnecessarily hard due to the powerful and insidious work of one douchebag and his even worse mother.
00:02:48
Speaker
Allow me to set the stage.
Instagram Plug and Low-Value Sons Discussion
00:02:49
Speaker
So I want to preface this because we posted on Instagram.
00:02:52
Speaker
You should check out our Instagram.
00:02:53
Speaker
If you have not checked out our Instagram, it's at underscore the female dating strategy on Instagram.
00:02:58
Speaker
So we had something that we posted like almost a month ago about how sometimes mothers who know their sons are low value and shitty will try to offload their shitty, scrotie.
00:03:09
Speaker
sons onto women.
00:03:11
Speaker
So it's called baby and marriage trapping by his family, meaning like they know their son is trash and they know you might be the last effort for him to get married before he's their problem forever.
00:03:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:22
Speaker
I think in one of our episodes about online dating, I said most of my guys I meet from real life acquaintances, but the only drawback to that is that a lot of times you'll end up with pick me's who are trying to pawn off their low value scrotes.
00:03:33
Speaker
So that's definitely something to be aware of and cautious about.
00:03:35
Speaker
So yeah.
00:03:35
Speaker
If his family's too involved in saying, you guys look cute together.
00:03:39
Speaker
Avoid.
00:03:40
Speaker
Avoid.
00:03:41
Speaker
Well, be careful.
00:03:42
Speaker
Be careful.
00:03:43
Speaker
I wouldn't say red flag by any means, but just like, you know, keep your eyes and ears open.
00:03:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:47
Speaker
And see why they're so eager to see you guys get married and have babies.
00:03:50
Speaker
So yeah, it's a green flag if he gets along with his family.
00:03:54
Speaker
If he, if his family seems too invested in making sure that your relationship works, that's a red flag.
00:04:00
Speaker
Yeah.
Reminiscing 'Girls Gone Wild' and Red Flags in 2002
00:04:04
Speaker
And there was even I don't know if you guys remember a TikTok video that went viral a few weeks ago on Twitter about a woman who wanted who didn't even go on a date with the guy, but ended up rejecting him.
00:04:13
Speaker
And then his mother called her and said she should give him a chance.
00:04:15
Speaker
Yep.
00:04:16
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:04:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:17
Speaker
Those are those are the type of women who they know their their sons are trash.
00:04:21
Speaker
And it's probably at least partially their fault that their sons are trash because they're overly enmeshed in doing all the work for him.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah, I used to think it was a flex that all of the mothers of my boyfriends loved me.
00:04:31
Speaker
I've only experienced a couple of mother-in-law from hell stories.
00:04:34
Speaker
Most of the time, the mother-in-law, like the mother of my boyfriend really likes me.
00:04:38
Speaker
But then I realized that if her son is low value, that's not a flex.
00:04:41
Speaker
I have one ex, for example, who still reaches out to me from time to time and tries to guilt trip me by saying that his mom asks if we've gotten back together yet.
00:04:49
Speaker
So like his mom asks him periodically if we've gotten back together and he checks in with me to see if that's an option.
00:04:54
Speaker
And it's not.
00:04:55
Speaker
It's never an option.
00:04:56
Speaker
Anyways.
00:04:58
Speaker
But yeah, I used to think, oh my gosh, I'm so amazing.
00:05:01
Speaker
Every man's mother loves me because I'm just so amazing.
00:05:03
Speaker
No, it's because he's low value.
00:05:05
Speaker
She's trying to make him my problem instead of hers.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yeah, she probably looks at you like, oh, she'll whip him in a shape for me.
00:05:10
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:05:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:13
Speaker
Okay.
00:05:13
Speaker
So continuing on with the roast.
00:05:15
Speaker
It's 2002.
00:05:16
Speaker
I'm 19 and taking a break from college.
00:05:19
Speaker
In reality, I was struggling with yet to be diagnosed ADHD and just didn't know what to do with my life.
00:05:25
Speaker
It is the height of Girls Gone Wild's America.
00:05:28
Speaker
And absolutely no one is talking about high value men negging red flags or anything like that.
00:05:32
Speaker
So yeah, 2002, Girls Gone Wild.
00:05:35
Speaker
Ooh, blast in the past.
00:05:36
Speaker
So that's like...
00:05:38
Speaker
Do you guys remember that?
00:05:39
Speaker
I think I was seven in 2002.
00:05:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:40
Speaker
What is that?
00:05:41
Speaker
I was seven years old, so I don't remember
Family Influence and Mental Abuse
00:05:43
Speaker
anything from that time.
00:05:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:44
Speaker
What is that?
00:05:45
Speaker
Girls Gone Wild.
00:05:47
Speaker
Girls Gone Wild was like a video series.
00:05:49
Speaker
And I remember used to come on like late night cable and it was just girls like flashing their boobs.
00:05:55
Speaker
at uh parties and stuff it was really big with um i can't remember that the the founder's name was like joe somebody but he used to date like paris hilton and stuff so it was just kind of one of those it was basically like a porn company essentially they just made porn but it was like supposed to be different because it was like mostly amateur girls or like girls that just flash their boobs it was still a lot of porn stars but they would go to like mardi gras and different parties in the states where girls would get drunk and just flash their boobs
00:06:21
Speaker
And give them beads in exchange for flashing their tits.
00:06:24
Speaker
This was pre-social media, by the way.
00:06:25
Speaker
So I'm sure the women at the time didn't realize that a lot of this would come back to haunt them.
00:06:29
Speaker
Yeah, I would say it was, well, did they have social media in 2002?
00:06:33
Speaker
I don't know when Facebook started.
00:06:35
Speaker
It was like 2006, I think.
00:06:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:36
Speaker
Yeah, actually.
00:06:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:37
Speaker
I think you're right.
00:06:38
Speaker
I think it's it is pretty social media.
00:06:40
Speaker
Well, it's like it depends on what you mean by social media.
00:06:42
Speaker
Does MySpace count as social media?
00:06:43
Speaker
Yeah, there's like MySpace, Twitter, Facebook.
00:06:46
Speaker
Those are a little bit later, I think.
00:06:48
Speaker
But YouTube is a little bit later.
00:06:50
Speaker
But I think there was like like fledgling budding social media then, too.
00:06:55
Speaker
So, but yeah, she continues.
00:06:57
Speaker
I started a casual fling with a guy whose drug use I excused because he looked like Mr. Ripley era Jude Law.
00:07:04
Speaker
Blast of the past, girl.
00:07:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:06
Speaker
And had a huge penis.
00:07:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:07
Speaker
So the talented Mr. Ripley.
00:07:10
Speaker
When did that movie come out?
00:07:12
Speaker
That was a 1999 film.
00:07:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:14
Speaker
With Jude Law and Matt Damon.
00:07:17
Speaker
Oh, damn.
00:07:17
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
00:07:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:19
Speaker
I'm like, I know.
00:07:20
Speaker
Yeah, Jude Law was cute back then.
00:07:22
Speaker
So yeah, I get it.
00:07:23
Speaker
So big dick Jude Law.
00:07:25
Speaker
I'm here for it, except for his joggers.
00:07:28
Speaker
One day he invited me to meet his family.
00:07:30
Speaker
Less of a thing and more of a, since you're here anyway, maybe I can get a ride and they'll feed you so free lunch kind of thing.
00:07:37
Speaker
So I think she was trying to say he's not like, he wasn't taking her to meet his family as some kind of formal introduction.
00:07:43
Speaker
More like, oh, I'm cheaping out on food.
00:07:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:47
Speaker
Okay.
00:07:48
Speaker
So you would think it was staged like some Truman show shit.
00:07:51
Speaker
I'm loving, I'm living for these millennial references right now.
00:07:56
Speaker
I love this.
00:07:57
Speaker
So I might, but yeah, you would think it was staged like some Truman show shit.
00:08:03
Speaker
We pulled.
00:08:04
Speaker
up to his family's idyllic upper middle class home at the end of a cul-de-sac where his equally blonde and attractive siblings are outside playing catch or chatting and chasing a variety of adorable biracial kids around the yard this is relevant because i'm black and you never know what level of racist uncle you may be dealing with when dating interracially
00:08:21
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:08:22
Speaker
That's true.
00:08:23
Speaker
I honestly get that scepticism.
00:08:26
Speaker
I totally get it.
00:08:27
Speaker
Because it's just hit and miss.
00:08:28
Speaker
And it's like, it's not even the overt racism.
00:08:31
Speaker
It's the covert stuff as well, like the double takes or people start touching your hair and I just feel like an animal in a zoo.
00:08:38
Speaker
Just stuff like that.
00:08:40
Speaker
Or mixed race babies are so cute.
00:08:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:44
Speaker
Your babies would be so cute.
Introduction to Second Roast: Bathroom Habits
00:08:46
Speaker
Yeah, the fetishization.
00:08:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:49
Speaker
Oh my gosh, if you two had babies, they'd be so cute.
00:08:52
Speaker
Mixed race babies are like just next level attractive.
00:08:56
Speaker
Well, my favorite is when I was once asked, I think it was at my ex's party.
00:09:02
Speaker
It's like, oh, so what do you think of using the N word?
00:09:06
Speaker
Oh no.
00:09:06
Speaker
Oh no.
00:09:12
Speaker
I'm for it.
00:09:13
Speaker
No.
00:09:15
Speaker
That's what I feel like he wanted to say, right?
00:09:17
Speaker
Was he trying to say it's racist that white people can't say the N-word?
00:09:21
Speaker
Is that what he was trying to do?
00:09:22
Speaker
No, it's not.
00:09:23
Speaker
The thing is, I find, because I've had this question a lot, it's like, when people ask me this question, it's because they want to basically hear, like Rose said, that it's okay to use it.
00:09:32
Speaker
And I mean, I'll just say it for the record.
00:09:34
Speaker
My response always is I'm not going to police your speech.
00:09:38
Speaker
But if you go around saying the N word and the social consequences are undesirable or you get cancelled, I don't want you to say, but my black friend said I could say it because that's not what I'm saying.
00:09:47
Speaker
So, yeah, free speech.
00:09:49
Speaker
But if you go around saying it and there's undesirable consequences, that's on you.
00:09:54
Speaker
Yeah, that's fair.
00:09:55
Speaker
That's good policy.
00:09:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:56
Speaker
Were they trying to get like a blank check for one black person to be like, oh, now this means I can say to all black people I can't get offended because like one black person said I could.
00:10:04
Speaker
It's like, yes, that's exactly what this is.
00:10:06
Speaker
That's weird.
00:10:07
Speaker
I don't know if getting a black pass is just transferable.
00:10:09
Speaker
Yeah, it's non-transferable.
00:10:13
Speaker
Even if you do get it from a group of people.
00:10:15
Speaker
So back to the roast.
00:10:18
Speaker
Truman Show, for the people who didn't know, it's a movie that came out in 1998 starring Jim Carrey.
00:10:24
Speaker
Sorry.
00:10:25
Speaker
I was three in 1998.
00:10:29
Speaker
This is a millennial throwback thing.
00:10:32
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:32
Speaker
His family was overall warm and friendly, and it made me wonder how such great people created such a weird fucked up son.
00:10:39
Speaker
His mom pulled me aside to chat.
00:10:41
Speaker
Damn, relatable.
00:10:42
Speaker
That's a very relatable sentence there.
00:10:46
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:47
Speaker
His mom pulled me aside to chat and seemed like a cool, no-nonsense supermom type, but she made a comment that stood out to me.
00:10:54
Speaker
You finished high school and you don't do drugs and you don't have any visible tattoos, dot, dot, dot.
00:10:59
Speaker
What are you doing with my son?
00:11:01
Speaker
Wow.
00:11:02
Speaker
Whoa.
00:11:03
Speaker
Red flag.
00:11:04
Speaker
Red fucking flag.
00:11:06
Speaker
She knows.
00:11:07
Speaker
She knows.
00:11:08
Speaker
She knows.
00:11:09
Speaker
Wow.
00:11:10
Speaker
You finished high school, you don't do drugs, and you don't have any tattoos?
00:11:13
Speaker
Like,
00:11:13
Speaker
what are you doing with my piece of shit son like at the time it was eagle fuel to think i was better than his other partners ooh sis pride cometh before the fall which in itself is super gross but i was young and still drinking the not like the other girls kool-aid yeah it's true and looking back i realized it was the moment she decided to pass the burden of raising her one wonky adult child off to me and clean up the family image yep yeah been there done that
00:11:42
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:11:42
Speaker
Okay.
00:11:43
Speaker
They were a semi-prominent family in their town, and the other four adult kids were polished, functioning members of society.
00:11:49
Speaker
But Bargain Bin Jude was a party boy and a bit of a loose cannon.
00:11:53
Speaker
Bargain Bin Jude.
00:11:54
Speaker
Bargain Bin Jude law.
00:11:56
Speaker
That's beautiful.
00:11:57
Speaker
He was handed a part of the family business to run, which I thought was so hot at the time, but later realized it was just part of the fix the fuck up family plan.
00:12:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:06
Speaker
Over the next few weeks, his mom took an interest in me that I found so considerate, but was really more akin to love bombing.
00:12:12
Speaker
So his mom is love bombing her, trying to get her to stick around.
00:12:18
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:12:19
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:12:20
Speaker
So she took me shopping, took me for brunches and teas.
00:12:23
Speaker
That's so sweet.
00:12:24
Speaker
But also like, oh, no.
00:12:26
Speaker
though if you're the sort of person and you're used to a mother-in-law who's like jealous or domineering or has the vibe of like oh like this who's this woman taking my son away from me kind of thing right like and I've been there where that's the kind of dynamic I was used to when I was younger and then when you finally do meet a mother-in-law type who's like nice to you it's like a breath of fresh air and so much easier to fall for but you don't realize that it was actually
Dealing with Toxic Family Members during Holidays
00:12:51
Speaker
a red flag it's just another form of love bombing yeah nope this is relatable but yeah
00:12:55
Speaker
So she said she wanted to know all about me, but weirdly made little digs about my parents being divorced.
00:13:00
Speaker
I recognize this as negging now, but back then it really made me self-conscious.
00:13:04
Speaker
Hmm.
00:13:05
Speaker
Rude.
00:13:05
Speaker
Some time passes and I find out I'm pregnant.
00:13:08
Speaker
Discount Jude is still a fuck up.
00:13:09
Speaker
So I make plans to have an abortion.
00:13:11
Speaker
I informed Jude and he asked me to reconsider, pointing out that he's inheriting the family business, the one that supported his mom and four siblings, and suddenly keeping the baby isn't sounding so wild.
00:13:22
Speaker
I'm thinking about my life working in retail, making like $6 an hour versus my life as a stay-at-home mom, secure in a decent little middle-class house with the most picture-perfect in-laws in human history, and it feels like the most ideal outcome in an overall unexpected situation.
00:13:36
Speaker
So I agree to keep the baby and we loop the family in.
00:13:40
Speaker
This feels like that moment in a horror movie where everything seems too good to be true and you're hearing like the dun-dun-dun.
00:13:47
Speaker
It's gonna get bad.
00:13:51
Speaker
Yeah, before the shit goes down, yeah.
00:13:55
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:13:55
Speaker
His mom became obsessed with me.
00:13:57
Speaker
She was suddenly super controlling and went from spoiling and love bombing to constantly testing me in bizarre ways.
00:14:03
Speaker
To detail all of the passive-aggressive, nasty little trials would be a whole separate roast.
00:14:08
Speaker
But needless to say, it was a little bit monster-in-law, but not enough to put me off completely because she was sometimes really warm and inclusive again.
00:14:17
Speaker
It was an abusive push-pull thing.
00:14:19
Speaker
Yeah, she sounds like a narcissistic mother.
00:14:21
Speaker
After our daughter was born, she started the campaign to get us married.
00:14:26
Speaker
And by this point, I'm sort of caught in her web of low-dose mental abuse.
00:14:30
Speaker
I was constantly volleying between her showing me off to her friends and bragging about how impressive I was to her making snide comments about how I was independent as if it was a bad thing.
00:14:40
Speaker
Being so young and living in a town far away from my family, I became more and more isolated until my entire social circle consisted of just his family.
00:14:48
Speaker
And there was a weird, comforting cult-like quality of the family because they all lived within a five-minute drive of each other.
00:14:55
Speaker
So there was always someone to help with the baby or invite me to do things.
00:14:59
Speaker
I started to think that maybe I was too independent and bought into the Holly homemaker vibe.
00:15:05
Speaker
I was this close from being like full MLM, live, laugh, love, referencing my kids as dear daughter and dear son and calling my man hubby kind of mom, which is a Gen X and millennial mom thing.
00:15:19
Speaker
We're fucking weird.
00:15:22
Speaker
Continuing, the next several years were riddled with drama.
00:15:26
Speaker
Discount Jude's addictions never subsided, and it cost him his spot as inheritor of the family business, succession style.
00:15:33
Speaker
So like the TV show succession that's on now.
00:15:36
Speaker
I'm guessing.
00:15:37
Speaker
I'm loving the TV show references.
00:15:39
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
00:15:40
Speaker
TVs and movies.
00:15:41
Speaker
Because you know what?
00:15:43
Speaker
It really actually does add to the story.
00:15:45
Speaker
It's very millennial to make that many pop culture references.
00:15:48
Speaker
Yeah, I'm feeling it.
00:15:51
Speaker
Feels right at home in this roast.
00:15:53
Speaker
When I went back to the workforce, three kids later, he was so threatened by my success, it gave him the excuse to act a total hairy ass, cheating, emotional outbursts, more addiction, constant crying, just bullshit nonstop.
00:16:06
Speaker
He's just the worst.
00:16:07
Speaker
But his mom was the real emotional terrorist.
00:16:10
Speaker
Unrealistic demands, complete lack of boundaries.
00:16:13
Speaker
She'd have panic attacks and call me for help.
00:16:16
Speaker
She was lonely and wanted someone to lay in bed with her and watch movies.
00:16:20
Speaker
Me.
00:16:21
Speaker
She treated me and my kids like stuffed animals.
00:16:24
Speaker
And even though she knew about all of the cocaine, alcohol, and cheating, she'd say things like, I'm so blessed to have like the perfect family.
00:16:32
Speaker
Like high key delusions.
00:16:33
Speaker
So it makes me wonder what this guy's father is like if she thinks this is idyllic.
00:16:37
Speaker
Hmm.
00:16:38
Speaker
What makes you say that?
00:16:39
Speaker
Like, was the dad really horrible?
00:16:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:40
Speaker
Was the dad worse than this?
00:16:42
Speaker
Doesn't really talk much about the dad.
00:16:43
Speaker
I'm wondering, like, maybe she's got like anxiety and panic attacks.
00:16:46
Speaker
So she's been absorbing just like abuse and weird shit from her husband forever.
00:16:51
Speaker
Maybe he's not an addict, but like maybe he's fucked up in other ways.
00:16:54
Speaker
Maybe he cheats all the time.
00:16:57
Speaker
Uh, she changed her negging game after meeting my family.
00:17:01
Speaker
Though divorced, my parents have always been friendly, and both my mom and stepmom have been blessed with the gift of anti-aging, which must have triggered my mom-in-law because she always started sentences with, well, I'm not as educated and beautiful as your mom and stepmom.
00:17:16
Speaker
Just super weird.
00:17:17
Speaker
Well, that's interesting.
00:17:18
Speaker
So like, when did she meet her family?
00:17:19
Speaker
Like not, not till after they got married.
00:17:21
Speaker
Cause she was negging her.
00:17:22
Speaker
It seems like soon out.
00:17:24
Speaker
When I filed for divorce, I was not particularly shocked that both discount Jude and scrotella in law did a piss poor job of keeping contact with the kids, preferring a narrative about my evil independence with a subtle dash of quote, sassy black women.
00:17:39
Speaker
Am I right?
00:17:40
Speaker
To boot.
00:17:41
Speaker
Oh my god, they're racist.
00:17:42
Speaker
So, scrotella-in-law?
00:17:44
Speaker
Scrotella, that's a brilliant one.
00:17:46
Speaker
I don't think, like, demon mother-in-laws are spoken about enough, but honestly, having a bad mother-in-law can really, really fuck you up.
00:17:55
Speaker
Like, really, really fuck up your relationship.
00:17:57
Speaker
It's not spoken about, though, but yeah, scrotella-in-law is a massive phenomenon.
00:18:01
Speaker
I do want to talk about the monster-in-law from hell at some point.
00:18:04
Speaker
Yeah, in this particular relationship, like, the guy was a scrote, but even if the relationship is good, if your in-laws are bad or they're helicopter parents or they're just interfering, that's enough to completely destroy a perfectly good relationship.
00:18:18
Speaker
She was preferring a narrative about my evil independence with a subtle dash of sassy black women, right, to boot, despite me, my kids, and the entire rest of his family repeatedly explaining to her that her shit sandwich of a son abandoned his kids and his legal obligations,
00:18:33
Speaker
She still says he's a hard worker and assumes I've blocked him from the kids' lives.
00:18:38
Speaker
The kids are now 19, 17, and 15.
00:18:41
Speaker
Their dad was absent for almost a decade, minus the week he reappeared as a bigoted flat earther who thinks Jennifer Lopez is a trans woman planted by Jews to disrupt family values because unaccomplished Tyler Durden wannabes are always super horny for conspiracies because they need to explain away why they aren't revered for doing and being the absolutely
00:19:03
Speaker
least god he's just the fucking worst person let me reread that hold on so reappeared as a bigoted flat earther who thinks jennifer lopez is a trans woman planted by jews there's a lot to unpack there the hell
00:19:18
Speaker
I don't want to unpack it because it's so absurd.
00:19:21
Speaker
But, yeah.
Intimate Holiday Encounters
00:19:24
Speaker
So, um, Tyler Durden was Brad Pitt's character in Fight Club.
00:19:28
Speaker
For those of you keeping up with the millennial pop culture references.
00:19:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:35
Speaker
Anyways, the kids were like, yeah, fuck you, bye.
00:19:38
Speaker
And we've all continued happily and rationally without his presence.
00:19:41
Speaker
His mom, though, still fully thinks he loves them and is doing his best, even though he owes over 80K in unpaid child support, I will probably never see.
00:19:48
Speaker
Moral of the story is to beware that the love bombing, negging, and manipulation can come from women too.
00:19:53
Speaker
And no one is as ride or die for a piece of shit dude like the woman who made him.
00:19:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:58
Speaker
True.
00:19:58
Speaker
Boy moms.
00:19:59
Speaker
Boy moms.
00:20:00
Speaker
Am I right?
00:20:01
Speaker
My ex-husband's dad actually filed for divorce from Scrotella-in-law shortly after I divorced his son.
00:20:06
Speaker
He has stepped in as a father figure and has done his best to make up for the financial loss from his son's ineptitude.
00:20:12
Speaker
Oh, that's nice.
00:20:13
Speaker
That is nice.
00:20:14
Speaker
That's the high value, man.
00:20:15
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know.
00:20:16
Speaker
I don't really know about the dad's role in all of this.
00:20:20
Speaker
I'd be actually kind of curious.
00:20:21
Speaker
I've been divorced for a decade and trash boat Jude and his mom are mostly irrelevant.
00:20:26
Speaker
But the few times I speak to scrotella-in-law, she's still totally fabricating a fantasy version of a perfect family that doesn't exist and spends much of her time trying to scheme more alimony from my ex's dad.
00:20:36
Speaker
The apple doesn't fall far, dot, dot, dot.
00:20:39
Speaker
Anyway, stay woke, stay aware, sisters.
00:20:41
Speaker
Love leveled up Mother Hubbard.
00:20:43
Speaker
Nice.
00:20:44
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know.
00:20:45
Speaker
I'd be curious to see the dynamic between the dad and the mom-in-law.
00:20:49
Speaker
Because I'm not knee-jerk saying she's wrong for wanting alimony, especially if she's working in a family business for years.
00:20:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:56
Speaker
Even if I really don't like the woman in question, honestly, I'm never going to get mad at a woman for wanting alimony.
00:21:00
Speaker
Even if she's a shitty person, men should pay up.
00:21:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:03
Speaker
Thank you for your submission.
00:21:05
Speaker
Leveled up, Mother Hubbard.
00:21:08
Speaker
Queen.
00:21:09
Speaker
All right.
00:21:09
Speaker
So...
00:21:10
Speaker
Roast number two in this Thanksgiving roast.
00:21:13
Speaker
Is that the hygiene one?
00:21:15
Speaker
Yeah, I felt sick reading that.
00:21:16
Speaker
All right.
00:21:17
Speaker
Roast number two.
00:21:18
Speaker
This is a submission from Anonymous.
00:21:20
Speaker
She starts out saying, my ex-husband always
Conclusion and Gratitude Towards Listeners
00:21:23
Speaker
had some gross bathroom habits.
00:21:25
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:21:25
Speaker
Yeah, I'm already slightly backing away.
00:21:27
Speaker
First sentence sets the stage.
00:21:30
Speaker
I'm slightly backing away from this roast.
00:21:33
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:34
Speaker
For example, he refused to brush his teeth.
00:21:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:37
Speaker
He refused to brush his teeth in the morning because coffee kills the smell.
00:21:44
Speaker
what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck wait wait wait so the coffee kills the smell of the bad breath yeah that's because that's not i find when i drink coffee it makes my breath worse yes yes like i brush my teeth after drinking coffee or is he saying like coffee kills the smell of the mintiness of the toothpaste which in that case irrelevant just brush your teeth after drinking coffee i don't know gross anyways
00:22:11
Speaker
Yeah, coffee kills the smell and stuck his dirty underwear in his ear instead of using the Q-tips that were right there in plain sight.
00:22:17
Speaker
Ew!
00:22:19
Speaker
Why are men so fucking disgusting?
00:22:21
Speaker
Anyways.
00:22:21
Speaker
And then they'll be like, oh, why am I in a dead bedroom?
00:22:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:25
Speaker
Yeah!
00:22:26
Speaker
Gods!
00:22:27
Speaker
Ugh.
00:22:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:29
Speaker
unfortunately you know by the way when i sat down to record this episode i hadn't eaten yet but now my appetite is killed right so it's like reading stories like this is like a natural way to reduce calories because it just kills your appetite i just it does and i just i i honestly like look it's like women who can like remain around men who have poor hygiene they have a different level of toughness that i will never possess i just couldn't do it yeah cannot do it yeah men are gross anyways okay
00:22:57
Speaker
Unfortunately for me, he was able to hide his most disgusting habit for over seven years.
00:23:01
Speaker
Oh no.
00:23:03
Speaker
One day, I really had to go pee when he was in the shower.
00:23:06
Speaker
We only had one bathroom, so he said I could come in.
00:23:09
Speaker
The toilet lid was down, and when I lifted it up, there was a giant turd floating the bowl with no toilet paper.
00:23:14
Speaker
Of course, I had quite a few questions, and he described his methodology to me without even a hint of shame.
00:23:20
Speaker
I actually just had like a chocolate piece before recording, and now I legit will see.
00:23:28
Speaker
oh sorry okay yeah don't drink a chocolate milkshake or anything like that while listening to this podcast okay step one take a shit don't wipe don't flush okay step two get in the shower and use your hand to dig the shit out of your hairy ass oh
00:23:48
Speaker
Get a bidet.
00:23:50
Speaker
Get a bidet.
00:23:51
Speaker
Get a freaking bidet.
00:23:52
Speaker
A bidet, yeah.
00:23:54
Speaker
There's nothing wrong with washing your ass in the shower, but yes, you should pre-wipe your ass with the available toilet paper.
00:24:00
Speaker
And you should flush your shades.
00:24:02
Speaker
And flush it.
00:24:03
Speaker
Like, don't just put shit crumbs all in the bottom of the tub.
00:24:07
Speaker
because it's gonna smell yeah and step three get out of the shower and flush the toilet okay first of all why don't you flush the toilet immediately after shitting yeah i don't understand that at all because all you're gonna do is just let shit particles
00:24:20
Speaker
letting poop particles waft over everyone's toothbrushes like you just washed yourself why would you put your hand on the toilet dirty toilet like after why not just get the dirty stuff first and then wash yourself yeah it just so get a shower use your hand to dig the shit out of your hairy ass that's like a mental image i did not expect to see today but okay yeah
00:24:40
Speaker
could convince him that this was gross and that showering with your turd 16 inches away makes zero sense my theory is that when he was a small child his mom made him flush a turd before he was ready to say goodbye
00:24:53
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:24:56
Speaker
So he's recovering from trauma.
00:24:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:59
Speaker
I guess you could say he's recovering from trauma because his mommy didn't let him hug his own shit enough.
00:25:03
Speaker
Anyways.
00:25:03
Speaker
Okay.
00:25:04
Speaker
So his mom made him flush a turd before he was ready to say goodbye.
00:25:07
Speaker
So now he spends his entire adult life hanging onto his turds as long as possible to regain some sense of control over his life and to subconsciously cope with his mommy issues.
00:25:15
Speaker
I'm not a psychologist, but it's the only explanation that makes sense.
00:25:18
Speaker
Girl.
00:25:19
Speaker
Anyways, I figured if the man can't wipe his ass, I'll get him a bidet.
00:25:23
Speaker
Okay, smart, good.
00:25:24
Speaker
His birthday was coming up, so that's what I got him.
00:25:26
Speaker
I've never seen this man so pumped about a birthday present before.
00:25:29
Speaker
He loved the bidet and installed it immediately.
00:25:32
Speaker
Okay, so far so good.
00:25:34
Speaker
Amazing, okay.
00:25:35
Speaker
But there's a part two to this story.
00:25:36
Speaker
Okay, a couple weeks later, I noticed that his hair looked greasy.
00:25:41
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:25:41
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:25:42
Speaker
Even though he was secretly nasty, he always looked clean, especially his hair, which was super thick and dark.
00:25:48
Speaker
So I asked him why his hair was looking greasy, and he told me, quote, I don't have to shower every day now because I have a bidet.
00:25:54
Speaker
I only need to shower a couple times a week.
00:25:56
Speaker
Yeah, okay.
00:26:06
Speaker
One step forward, two steps back.
00:26:08
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:26:11
Speaker
Okay.
00:26:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:12
Speaker
Cringe.
00:26:13
Speaker
God, send the flood.
00:26:14
Speaker
God, send the flood.
00:26:15
Speaker
We need to start again.
00:26:16
Speaker
Jesus, take the wheel.
00:26:17
Speaker
Noah, send the flood.
00:26:18
Speaker
Humanity needs to start again.
00:26:21
Speaker
You know, though...
00:26:22
Speaker
This seems to be like a little boy thing and not to put anybody on in my family on blast.
00:26:27
Speaker
But like, I feel like each of my brothers went through a stage where they just preferred to be dirty.
00:26:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:34
Speaker
It's almost like showering was like too much work for them.
00:26:37
Speaker
Or they just like, it's like they, they really, really love to be dirty.
00:26:40
Speaker
Like so much so that my mom used to like smell check them when they came out of the shower because they would get in the shower, rinse off, not use soap and come back out.
00:26:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:50
Speaker
What's the point?
00:26:51
Speaker
So I don't know if this is just like a little boy thing that if you don't check when they're little boys, they become men that are like this.
00:26:57
Speaker
I want to be clear, my brothers are not like this now, but I just remember them going through little phases when they were children where it was like...
00:27:04
Speaker
Where like showering was like an inconvenience.
00:27:07
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with men.
00:27:11
Speaker
I actually think like the reason I do think that men are biologically more disgusting than women, like just in general, I think because it behooves the human race for women to be more discerning, I guess, when it comes to hygiene to prevent like disease, I guess, for pregnant women, you know.
00:27:26
Speaker
Like women have to be hygienic to protect their babies, right?
00:27:28
Speaker
Whereas men can just fucking literally be pigs and roll around in mud all day because they don't give birth.
00:27:33
Speaker
So it doesn't really matter.
00:27:34
Speaker
So that's why I think men are biologically disgusting.
00:27:37
Speaker
I think it's like men are more likely to just be gross.
00:27:40
Speaker
I have been the more cluttered partner out of some of my guys I've dated, but I also just have way more shit because I just have a ton of hair products and makeup products and stuff.
00:27:49
Speaker
So then sometimes I feel like, well, it's not really fair.
00:27:51
Speaker
You have three t-shirts.
00:27:53
Speaker
That's all you have.
00:27:54
Speaker
So it's easy to keep clean.
00:27:55
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:27:56
Speaker
Like, women will be more cluttered because we have more stuff, but our clutter is always, like, clean.
00:28:02
Speaker
Clean, right?
00:28:02
Speaker
It's not grimy and full of, like, gunk and dirt.
00:28:05
Speaker
There's a huge difference between having a lot of stuff and being dirty.
00:28:09
Speaker
They're not the same thing.
00:28:11
Speaker
Even being messy, right?
00:28:12
Speaker
It's not the same as being dirty, like, actually disgusting.
00:28:16
Speaker
Like, they're not the same thing.
00:28:18
Speaker
Yeah, like, men will leave out fucking plates of, like, partially eaten food or whatever and just leave it there for weeks until, like, maggots take over.
00:28:25
Speaker
They'll leave skid marks in the toilet.
00:28:27
Speaker
Like, disgusting.
00:28:29
Speaker
Like, ugh.
00:28:30
Speaker
Like, women don't do that fucking shit unless they're, like, mentally ill, okay?
00:28:34
Speaker
But that's just the norm for men.
00:28:35
Speaker
Anyways.
00:28:36
Speaker
True.
00:28:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:28:37
Speaker
So, but the story continues.
00:28:39
Speaker
So, ladies, when men complain that women use too much toilet paper, just keep in mind that they don't even wipe their own ass.
00:28:44
Speaker
And if you can convince them to clean their ass, they'll just find some other way to be nasty and then wonder why your initial attraction to them has slowly turned into repulsion.
00:28:52
Speaker
The bar is truly in hell.
00:28:53
Speaker
Okay, nice.
00:28:54
Speaker
I like that conclusion.
00:28:56
Speaker
I hope you're not with this guy anymore.
00:28:57
Speaker
I'm not sure how she's not traumatized by that.
00:28:59
Speaker
That is absolutely disgusting.
00:29:01
Speaker
If you're the man who finds excuses not to be cleanly, that's low value as fuck.
00:29:05
Speaker
Okay, first of all, the fact that he didn't know that bidets existed.
00:29:08
Speaker
Fuck!
00:29:08
Speaker
standard practice in the united states so i don't know actually don't know a ton of people bidet it's not really a thing here it's it's becoming a thing in the uk um but it wasn't a thing before to be fair i also think and i'm just gonna do this general hygiene rant as well some people weren't shamed enough as a kid growing up when it comes to personal hygiene i know growing up my mom used to call us desi pigs if we didn't shower or
00:29:38
Speaker
and it was and it was and her justification was that okay yeah besides the like low level child abuse i guess but um but besides like the low level traumatization but it's like she would always say it's better i tell you than someone else outside telling you
00:29:56
Speaker
And it's true.
00:29:56
Speaker
Like, it's a lot better than I tell you.
00:29:59
Speaker
And she would time our showers.
00:30:01
Speaker
She would check we were wet.
00:30:03
Speaker
She would say, you've not showered today.
00:30:06
Speaker
Go and shower.
00:30:07
Speaker
That's what I'm saying.
00:30:08
Speaker
Some people just weren't shamed enough.
00:30:10
Speaker
That's what I'm saying.
00:30:11
Speaker
Like, my mom used to do smell checks because she'd be like, I don't want you going out in the streets and having people think I don't take care of you.
00:30:17
Speaker
I neglect you.
00:30:18
Speaker
Right.
00:30:18
Speaker
Because it's a reflection on her.
00:30:19
Speaker
Right.
00:30:19
Speaker
Exactly.
00:30:20
Speaker
Exactly.
00:30:21
Speaker
So my brother at one point figured out my mom's smell check.
00:30:24
Speaker
And so then he like legit would just wash his arms and then like the small of his back.
00:30:30
Speaker
Like he, like this is like an ongoing fight with one of my brothers and my mom.
00:30:35
Speaker
But surely having a full shower would be quicker than just trying to fake having a shower.
00:30:41
Speaker
Game the system.
00:30:44
Speaker
Yeah, you think so?
00:30:46
Speaker
But boy logic, right?
00:30:50
Speaker
So then my mom started doing like a full body smell check and then they can go back to the shower.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah, no, it would have made way more sense to just wash himself.
00:31:02
Speaker
But I don't know.
00:31:04
Speaker
This is like, we're talking when we're small, like eight or nine.
00:31:07
Speaker
But some men never grow out of that phase.
00:31:09
Speaker
They just stay like that for life.
00:31:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:12
Speaker
This is why I think the shame needs to be brought back.
00:31:15
Speaker
Like, shame can be a perfectly useful emotion because it teaches us social norms and how to be decent sometimes.
00:31:23
Speaker
And men get really offended.
00:31:25
Speaker
They're like, oh my god, you're shaming me.
00:31:26
Speaker
You're making me feel ashamed.
00:31:28
Speaker
Like, the worst possible thing you could do is make a man feel ashamed of himself.
00:31:31
Speaker
I'm like, no, you know what?
00:31:33
Speaker
Y'all deserve to feel more ashamed, honestly.
00:31:35
Speaker
Like, we need to shame men more, not less.
00:31:37
Speaker
But did you like see like the Reddit post where the guy's like, I'm not washing my asshole because it's gay?
00:31:43
Speaker
Like, the fuck?
00:31:45
Speaker
Ew.
00:31:46
Speaker
Okay, being clean is gay.
00:31:47
Speaker
Like, what the hell?
00:31:48
Speaker
Like, it's just, oh, it's disgusting.
00:31:51
Speaker
They think it's gay to touch their own ass.
00:31:53
Speaker
It's like, fellas, is it gay to have good hygiene?
00:31:55
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:31:56
Speaker
Hand all in your booty like that.
00:32:00
Speaker
Like, wow, you're just going to put your hand all in your booty and wash it, huh?
00:32:03
Speaker
Couldn't be me.
00:32:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:08
Speaker
Oh, men.
00:32:09
Speaker
You want men to wash away the toxic masculinity in their life.
00:32:13
Speaker
Yeah, men need to cleanse themselves of their toxic masculinity.
00:32:16
Speaker
And wash your bodies, you dirty pigs!
00:32:20
Speaker
I want to meet your mom, Savannah.
00:32:21
Speaker
Like, I want to come to the UK one time.
00:32:24
Speaker
I want to meet your whole family.
00:32:26
Speaker
I want to know the family that raised you to be the awesome person that you are today.
00:32:29
Speaker
I want to know how that happened.
00:32:30
Speaker
Yeah, my mom's great.
00:32:31
Speaker
But yeah, she taught me the basis of hygiene.
00:32:33
Speaker
She always said, you know, shower before sex, make sure you're nice and clean.
00:32:37
Speaker
So it just baffles me that people can just walk around and not do that.
00:32:40
Speaker
Yeah, I'm glad she told you something.
00:32:42
Speaker
My mom never, like... My mom gave me one book about, like, sex that was...
00:32:47
Speaker
written probably in the 1980s.
00:32:48
Speaker
She didn't do the sniff test on you, Roe?
00:32:51
Speaker
No, I showered.
00:32:52
Speaker
Did you escape the sniff test?
00:32:53
Speaker
It was more, it was just my brothers that needed that extra guidance.
00:32:59
Speaker
So anyways, are you tired of your scrotel-in-law stressing you out and need a rant to somebody about your husband who won't wash his own ass?
00:33:09
Speaker
Consider BetterHelp, betterhelp.com.
00:33:12
Speaker
Great segue, Roe.
00:33:14
Speaker
Yes!
00:33:15
Speaker
I'm in there.
00:33:16
Speaker
A plus transition.
00:33:17
Speaker
Imagine going to therapy though and just being like, okay, so what do you want to talk about today?
00:33:23
Speaker
My husband doesn't wash his ass.
00:33:25
Speaker
So tell me more about how that makes you feel.
00:33:30
Speaker
Maybe they can bless you with some techniques.
00:33:32
Speaker
I don't know.
00:33:33
Speaker
I'm not a licensed professional therapist like they have at BetterHelp.com.
00:33:37
Speaker
Slash FDS.
00:33:38
Speaker
Slash FDS.
00:33:39
Speaker
Don't forget our tag there.
00:33:40
Speaker
BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist.
00:33:44
Speaker
And you'll be able to connect in a safe and private online environment.
00:33:47
Speaker
It's so convenient.
00:33:48
Speaker
You can start communicating in under 48 hours.
00:33:51
Speaker
So reminder, BetterHelp is not a crisis line or a self-help line, but it is professional counseling.
00:33:56
Speaker
And also, if you're feeling the squeeze around Christmas as the presents bill starts stacking up, BetterHelp also has financial aid.
00:34:05
Speaker
So you can get your therapy at a discounted cost if eligible.
00:34:09
Speaker
BetterHelp is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they can make it easy and free to change counsellors if needed.
00:34:16
Speaker
And just like FDS, it's worldwide.
00:34:19
Speaker
So even if you're in a country right now where you don't have Thanksgiving, cough, Savannah.
00:34:24
Speaker
Um...
00:34:26
Speaker
use BetterHelp.
00:34:27
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know about you, but the holidays is really stressful for me with my chaotic family.
00:34:31
Speaker
So if you have a chaotic family like many of us do, BetterHelp, that's H-E-L-P, can help you get through the holidays.
00:34:38
Speaker
If you use our tag, betterhelp.com forward slash FDS, you can get 10% off your first month.
00:34:45
Speaker
Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com forward slash FDS for 10% off.
00:34:50
Speaker
So yeah, if you sign up with BetterHelp, not only you're supporting your own mental health, but you're also supporting FDS.
00:34:55
Speaker
if you sign up with our link.
00:34:57
Speaker
So thanks for listening, Queens.
00:34:58
Speaker
And we all hope you have a wonderful, more mentally healthy holiday season.
00:35:02
Speaker
This discussion was brought to you by our sponsors at betterhelp.com forward slash FDS.
00:35:08
Speaker
So the second half of our show, we're going to talk about Thanksgiving clapbacks.
00:35:12
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:35:12
Speaker
You got drunk uncles starting shit.
00:35:15
Speaker
Antis are all up in your business.
00:35:17
Speaker
People womb checking you trying to figure out when you're about to have kids.
00:35:20
Speaker
Slut shaming you.
00:35:21
Speaker
Let's talk about it.
00:35:22
Speaker
Where do we begin?
00:35:23
Speaker
I mean, I have a very dysfunctional family.
00:35:25
Speaker
So should I talk about my one uncle who like bullied me as a child and how I got my ultimate revenge at Thanksgiving?
00:35:31
Speaker
Yes.
00:35:32
Speaker
Yes.
00:35:32
Speaker
I'm here for it.
00:35:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:34
Speaker
Okay, so some background.
00:35:35
Speaker
I have this one uncle who is just not a very nice person.
00:35:41
Speaker
He's like low-key racist and also very misogynistic.
00:35:44
Speaker
So let's just call him Uncle Jim.
00:35:45
Speaker
Okay, Uncle Jim, ever since I was a little kid, he really, really enjoyed...
00:35:51
Speaker
I guess, bullying me because I was the oldest grandchild, so I got all the attention.
00:35:55
Speaker
I swear to God, like, I was so spoiled as a child, not gonna lie.
00:35:58
Speaker
Like, my grandparents had entire albums full of me being a cute baby and stuff.
00:36:02
Speaker
My sister and my cousins.
00:36:05
Speaker
Like, there's, there's like a million pictures of me as a baby and there's like five of my cousins and my sister.
00:36:11
Speaker
So, I'm...
00:36:12
Speaker
Clearly the favorite grandchild.
00:36:14
Speaker
And my uncle happens to be the middle child on his side, on my dad's side.
00:36:18
Speaker
So he didn't really get that much attention, I guess.
00:36:21
Speaker
And he was just low-key jealous.
00:36:22
Speaker
So ever since I was a little child, he would bully me until I cried.
00:36:26
Speaker
Literally, like a five-year-old girl.
00:36:29
Speaker
And growing up, you know, and he also... Okay, so just to give you an idea of what kind of person he is, he used to make jokes about the Women's Olympics.
00:36:37
Speaker
He would be like, oh, when are they going to bring in pole dancing?
00:36:40
Speaker
They should make pole dancing an Olympic sport.
00:36:42
Speaker
My mom, she lost favor with my dad's side of the family when she, when my uncle was making jokes about women and my mom said something along the lines of like, oh, so tell me about your dating life, Uncle Jim, including the women you pay for.
00:36:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:58
Speaker
So family gatherings are always a high conflict time.
00:37:01
Speaker
I remember when I was a teenager, my uncle started just making comments about my body, calling me chubby, making comments about my weight.
00:37:07
Speaker
And this was at a time when I was kind of struggling with an eating disorder anyways.
00:37:11
Speaker
So one Thanksgiving, we were sitting there and we were eating and I got a little bit of food on my chin or whatever.
00:37:17
Speaker
And he said to me, oh, you got some you got some gravy on your chin there.
00:37:21
Speaker
And I like wipe my chin.
00:37:22
Speaker
He's like, no, your other chin.
00:37:23
Speaker
And I just sat there and I was just like, yeah, Jim, and that's why you're going to die single.
00:37:29
Speaker
He knew that I was insecure about my weight.
00:37:31
Speaker
I knew he was insecure about the fact that he was an incel.
00:37:34
Speaker
And so every chance I get...
00:37:36
Speaker
Every chance I get, I talk about how women don't want to be anywhere near him, right?
00:37:41
Speaker
Another time... So now, okay, so when I was younger, he would bully me a lot.
00:37:45
Speaker
But then as I've gotten older, I learned how to troll men in such a way that if they react, they look like the crazy ones.
00:37:52
Speaker
So one Thanksgiving dinner, separate Thanksgiving dinner...
00:37:54
Speaker
He was just being annoying.
00:37:55
Speaker
So I was just sort of trolling him, just asking like slightly provoking questions until he just got heated.
00:38:01
Speaker
And then eventually he like stood up and like yelled at me in front of the whole table being like, fuck you, Lilith.
00:38:07
Speaker
Fuck you.
00:38:08
Speaker
I hope you fuck, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:38:09
Speaker
Like just yelling in my face.
00:38:10
Speaker
And I'm sitting there.
00:38:11
Speaker
I'm like 16, by the way.
00:38:12
Speaker
So I'm just sitting there acting like an innocent little flower being like,
00:38:15
Speaker
oh my god, I can't believe I would say something so mean to me.
00:38:19
Speaker
Anyways, and then he stormed off and like the whole family was just like, Jim, like I can't believe you would say that.
00:38:26
Speaker
This is like one of the few times where my family actually had my back.
00:38:29
Speaker
That's when he stopped being invited to family gatherings.
00:38:31
Speaker
And so I got my way in the end.
00:38:32
Speaker
So yeah, that's how I got my revenge is by basically causing him to be ostracized from the family.
00:38:37
Speaker
Deserved, deserved.
00:38:39
Speaker
But you know what?
00:38:40
Speaker
It was his own choice.
00:38:40
Speaker
He ostracized himself from the family, so, I mean, he deserves it.
00:38:43
Speaker
Yeah, it kind of sucks if you're, like, being forced to hang out with people you don't really like at Thanksgiving.
00:38:49
Speaker
This is what I quite like.
00:38:51
Speaker
I quite like my parents.
00:38:53
Speaker
Like, I mean, I do love them for other things as well.
00:38:55
Speaker
But one of the things that...
00:38:57
Speaker
If they don't like somebody, they just will never see them.
00:39:00
Speaker
Like I've got family members I've not seen in like over 21 years because my parents, they know that out of block and delete, never visit and they're not coming here.
00:39:08
Speaker
We're not going there.
00:39:10
Speaker
So I've never had to enjoy Christmas with shitty family members.
00:39:13
Speaker
Yeah, like, so for all my mom's flaws, one thing I really did like is that she did always make a conscious effort to protect me against my uncle.
00:39:22
Speaker
And my dad pretty much like didn't care.
00:39:24
Speaker
Like, this is one thing that pissed me off about my dad.
00:39:26
Speaker
My uncle could insult me to my face and my dad would either just like laugh along or do nothing.
00:39:31
Speaker
Because he's like, Oh, this is my brother, blah, blah, blah.
00:39:33
Speaker
I'm glad Savannah that your family at least has like that protective instinct, you know, wanting to keep you away from shitty people.
00:39:39
Speaker
My family's extra petty, so the people that don't get along just have competing Thanksgivings.
00:39:44
Speaker
So then you can just roll through several family members' places and grab a plate.
00:39:48
Speaker
Is it a popularity contest?
00:39:50
Speaker
Do they have it on the same day to see?
00:39:52
Speaker
Well, everybody has it on Thanksgiving, but it's just more like if you're sort of tangibly related to everybody, you can just stroll through everyone's Thanksgiving and then like grab a plate, hang out for an hour or two and leave and I'm all for it.
00:40:04
Speaker
Like, I just like come in for the food and the food gets served, leave when the drama starts off.
00:40:09
Speaker
But I also don't have to clean up or make anything.
00:40:11
Speaker
So that works for me versus like the people that clean up and make anything.
00:40:15
Speaker
So for me, I'm more or less like, I like being a traveling Thanksgiving nomad.
00:40:20
Speaker
Granted, I actually moved pretty far away from my family because I moved for a job.
00:40:25
Speaker
So that's like the other way to handle that.
00:40:27
Speaker
If you have like shitty family members that nobody wants to see, just hold your own Thanksgiving and then just like don't invite them.
00:40:33
Speaker
There was a period of a few years where I actually didn't go to Thanksgiving dinners like at all just because of no contact type stuff with certain members of my family.
00:40:42
Speaker
But and we didn't have Thanksgiving, obviously, during the pandemic.
00:40:45
Speaker
But this past Thanksgiving, because again, Canadians, we have Thanksgiving like a month early.
00:40:49
Speaker
So this past Thanksgiving...
00:40:51
Speaker
was actually pretty great.
00:40:52
Speaker
It was nice to see the family after a couple of, I think because we hadn't seen each other in like two years, everyone was playing nice.
00:40:59
Speaker
So it was nice to get together.
00:41:01
Speaker
But what do you, yeah, so what are the strategies for when you have a toxic family?
00:41:04
Speaker
One, don't go or avoid them.
00:41:06
Speaker
My biggest flex right now is like, oh, I just, it's too much to try to get to the airport during Thanksgiving.
00:41:11
Speaker
That's just what I say.
00:41:12
Speaker
None of my family lives in the state that I live in now.
00:41:15
Speaker
So that's part of it.
00:41:15
Speaker
Now it's just like, oh, it's just too inconvenient for me to get home.
00:41:19
Speaker
And like, I'll visit some, I'll visit, I'll come through like a thief in the night, like at some odd time, like maybe in the middle of January, like after all the holiday traffic through the airport has died down.
00:41:30
Speaker
And then I'm just like, hey, here's your Christmas gift.
00:41:33
Speaker
If I didn't ship it to him via like Amazon or something, and then, you know, kiss all the babies, shake all the hands and then bounce.
00:41:40
Speaker
Yeah, so that's Rose's strategy is avoidance.
00:41:43
Speaker
My strategy is low-key trolling.
00:41:45
Speaker
My favorite one is actually like...
00:41:48
Speaker
So when you're younger and you haven't developed the trolling skills, that's like another thing.
00:41:52
Speaker
So maybe don't engage.
00:41:53
Speaker
It's a high risk, high reward, high risk, medium reward, maybe.
00:41:56
Speaker
I don't know.
00:41:57
Speaker
But once you get to a point where you're self-assured and self-confident and you get really good at trolling people and causing other people to react so that they look like the crazy person, this is a thing, actually, where if you stay perfectly calm, people think that you're innocent.
00:42:10
Speaker
And so that's my... I've taken a page out of all the shitty people who've ever been shitty to me.
00:42:14
Speaker
I've taken a page out of their book.
00:42:16
Speaker
And that's when someone is attacking me, you stay perfectly calm, say things that are low-key triggering to them until they end up going crazy and then they look like the crazy person.
00:42:25
Speaker
It's actually very easy to flip the script on abusive people like that.
00:42:28
Speaker
One of my favorite unofficial Twitter holidays is Thanksgiving clapback season.
00:42:33
Speaker
So to jump off of Lilith's strategy, if you want to stay and troll people, there's some good ones here.
00:42:40
Speaker
If you have an aunt that's making comments on your tattoo, like, you know your tattoos are a lifetime commitment, you can clap back.
00:42:47
Speaker
But your marriage wasn't.
00:42:48
Speaker
Oh!
00:42:50
Speaker
Oh!
00:42:51
Speaker
That reminds me of a...
00:42:53
Speaker
That reminds me of a comment my mom said to one of my aunts, because one of my aunts was being shitty to my mom, and my mom was like, well, at least all of my children have the same father.
00:43:01
Speaker
It's a juggler!
00:43:05
Speaker
Because my aunt has, like, three different baby daddies and has never been married, unlike my mom, who has been married and has one father for all of her kids.
00:43:13
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:43:15
Speaker
That's a flex.
00:43:15
Speaker
That's a flex in my family to say that all of your kids have the same father.
00:43:19
Speaker
Like, all my kids sleep under the same roof at night.
00:43:21
Speaker
I wonder what that must be like.
00:43:27
Speaker
I can't think of such a roast, actually.
00:43:29
Speaker
Yeah, Savannah, your family doesn't have Thanksgiving, so I guess you don't have Thanksgiving roasts.
00:43:33
Speaker
Do you have any Christmas roasts, maybe?
00:43:35
Speaker
Because, again, we just cut them off.
00:43:37
Speaker
I mean, occasionally we'll have, like, it's like a birthday roast, because occasionally when...
00:43:41
Speaker
We want to see them.
00:43:42
Speaker
We'll invite them to like a barbecue once every five years or so.
00:43:45
Speaker
Um, so that was one time one of my aunts was like to my sister, just totally unprovoked.
00:43:52
Speaker
Oh, you want a body like me to my older sister?
00:43:55
Speaker
And my sister was like, no, not really.
00:43:57
Speaker
So my older sister went and told my dad, my dad got really angry.
00:44:02
Speaker
He was like, who does she think she is?
00:44:03
Speaker
Like the beauty queen of this, like there's this like shithole place in Nigeria.
00:44:08
Speaker
It's like, who does she think she is?
00:44:11
Speaker
The beauty queen of this shitty place.
00:44:16
Speaker
I can't even remember where he said it, but it was like in like the proper like shithole parts of Nigeria, like where there's like open sewer in the streets.
00:44:25
Speaker
And like, my aunt wasn't like, she's, I don't know how to be diplomatic and say this, but she's not someone who would like, if I looked the way she did, I wouldn't go up to people unprovoked and say, you wish you looked like me, if that makes sense.
00:44:39
Speaker
Because... So you're saying she's not hard enough to be able to be that way?
00:44:43
Speaker
Is that what you're saying?
00:44:44
Speaker
No, no.
00:44:45
Speaker
That's why my dad was like, she's like the beauty queen out of this, um, this shit old place in Nigeria because it's like, she's not hot at all.
00:44:54
Speaker
Um, and I don't know why, like she's almost 60.
00:44:58
Speaker
My sister at the time was like 22.
00:44:59
Speaker
It's like, why would you say that to a 22 year old when you're almost 60?
00:45:03
Speaker
Don't you wish you looked like me?
00:45:07
Speaker
um i don't know nigerian family members can be just really blunt and just like say the first thing that comes into their head without any sort of social filter but yeah we just don't see them at christmas or any other holiday really which yeah yeah my parents have got the block and delete down pat like they don't like somebody they will just not see them for years uh yeah so if you have a normal family like savannah that doesn't engage with people who are shitty
00:45:32
Speaker
Unlike my family or Rose family.
00:45:34
Speaker
Savannah's family, which is normal and avoids drama.
00:45:39
Speaker
That isn't here for the drama.
00:45:42
Speaker
That isn't here for the drama.
00:45:45
Speaker
You can't really avoid drama all the time.
00:45:47
Speaker
So I remember one of my sister-in-law's family, I went over to their place for Thanksgiving and they each, each of her sisters made the same dish.
00:45:57
Speaker
And then it was like a passive aggressive fight the entire Thanksgiving about whose dish was better.
00:46:02
Speaker
And it was weird because it was like, why didn't people just make different dishes?
00:46:05
Speaker
But it was like, they all wanted to make the same dish.
00:46:08
Speaker
And then one of them was clearly better to be fair.
00:46:11
Speaker
And I had to sit there and like take equal portions of all the, all of the same dish, even though like, like two of them weren't that great.
00:46:18
Speaker
And then like, I didn't want to get in the middle of the fight.
00:46:20
Speaker
So then I just pretended like, Oh, these are all delicious.
00:46:23
Speaker
But like, then it was like, I kept hearing all these side conversations where they were just talking.
00:46:27
Speaker
She's like, she knows she can't cook.
00:46:28
Speaker
I don't know why she volunteered to cook.
00:46:31
Speaker
So sometimes you get sucked in and you're like, this is how you stay out of drama.
00:46:35
Speaker
Like just go ahead and be diplomatic about everyone's dish.
00:46:38
Speaker
Okay.
00:46:39
Speaker
Well, you said that reminded me of this one time.
00:46:41
Speaker
This wasn't Thanksgiving.
00:46:42
Speaker
This was a Christmas.
00:46:44
Speaker
So it was a Christmas that most years, most of the time when we do Christmas, it's like the host who does all the cooking.
00:46:50
Speaker
But in this particular case, we hosted Thanksgiving at a different family member's house and we ended up deciding to do potluck style.
00:46:57
Speaker
And the dish that I brought, I ended up bringing like a Tupperware full of cookie dough.
00:47:03
Speaker
And people thought that was fucking weird.
00:47:05
Speaker
Like, why not just bring cookies that are already baked?
00:47:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:08
Speaker
And so people were roasting me for bringing like a Tupperware thing of cookie dough and thinking that was weird as fuck.
00:47:13
Speaker
Like, why not just bake the cookies before you get here?
00:47:16
Speaker
They're like, oh, did you run out of time?
00:47:17
Speaker
Is that why you had to like cook them here?
00:47:19
Speaker
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:47:20
Speaker
And like just giving me a hard time for it.
00:47:22
Speaker
But guess what?
00:47:23
Speaker
At the end of dinner, when it all came time for dessert and I whipped out the baking sheets and started baking them right there, the smell of freshly baked cookies was on another level.
00:47:34
Speaker
Right?
00:47:35
Speaker
And it created like a whole... There was like almost a performative aspect to it, right?
00:47:39
Speaker
So I've been there cooking them, you know, making the cookies.
00:47:41
Speaker
They're baking it and they smell so delicious.
00:47:43
Speaker
And then everyone shut the fuck up real quick and they actually tasted how good the cookies were, especially when they're fresh out of.
00:47:48
Speaker
I've learned the hard way to like try to...
00:47:52
Speaker
keep your pieces unassembled until you go to the actual venue you intend to serve the dish at.
00:47:59
Speaker
Because I actually dropped a whole pie that I made.
00:48:03
Speaker
It was one of those times where there was just black ice everywhere where you couldn't see it and everything was really, really slippery.
00:48:09
Speaker
And I decided I was going to look cute on Thanksgiving.
00:48:11
Speaker
And so I had these really cute thigh-high boots on that didn't have much grip on the bottom of it.
00:48:18
Speaker
So I came down the stairs, there was ice in the stairs I didn't realize and I slipped and fell, busted my whole ass and then dropped the pie.
00:48:26
Speaker
So I've actually ruined Thanksgiving because I, in hindsight, I was like, you know what, I should have just like, I should have either put it like in Tupperware or I should have just not baked.
00:48:35
Speaker
It wasn't even like that long of a pie.
00:48:37
Speaker
I should have waited till we were where we were supposed to go and then just baked it there.
00:48:40
Speaker
I have to ask though, bro, did you look like, you know, that skit where the woman's like dropping the popcorn everywhere?
00:48:48
Speaker
Like she trips and drops the popcorn.
00:48:50
Speaker
Did you look like that?
00:48:51
Speaker
Oh, it was exactly like that.
00:48:55
Speaker
Because I slipped on ice.
00:48:57
Speaker
So it wasn't like a graceful fall.
00:49:00
Speaker
It was literally me like, like busting my ass.
00:49:02
Speaker
So...
00:49:09
Speaker
I fell straight out, feet up in the air when I fell down, right?
00:49:13
Speaker
Not like a little trip.
00:49:14
Speaker
Did the pie like fall on your face?
00:49:16
Speaker
Like just like peak comedy?
00:49:18
Speaker
Like the most slapstick comedy?
00:49:19
Speaker
Not peak comedy, but it did fall like a pie side down on the sidewalk, so...
00:49:25
Speaker
And I actually broke the dish.
00:49:27
Speaker
So it was a porcelain dish.
00:49:28
Speaker
So there is that too.
00:49:30
Speaker
Oh, that sucks.
00:49:31
Speaker
So this is a slightly related, but kind of unrelated topic.
00:49:35
Speaker
What do you think about Thanksgiving dick?
00:49:37
Speaker
Thanks.
00:49:38
Speaker
What?
00:49:38
Speaker
Have you ever gotten Thanksgiving dick?
00:49:39
Speaker
It's like when you sneak away.
00:49:41
Speaker
Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:49:43
Speaker
No.
00:49:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:45
Speaker
I spent Thanksgiving with a boyfriend's family.
00:49:47
Speaker
Oh.
00:49:48
Speaker
I don't know why, but Thanksgiving dick hits, right?
00:49:51
Speaker
I can't.
00:49:52
Speaker
Tell me more because I've never experienced this.
00:49:55
Speaker
Tell the story.
00:49:56
Speaker
Tell the story.
00:49:56
Speaker
I don't understand why this is, but holiday dick, honestly, is some of the best for whatever reason.
00:50:03
Speaker
What makes it so good?
00:50:04
Speaker
Because
00:50:04
Speaker
Because if you're in a holiday and you're hanging out with your favorite people, let's say you are in a situation where your family's really happy, and you don't completely overeat, but you eat, you get to eat all your favorite foods, and you're in that relaxed-itis state, then you just take a little nap, and then you wake up, and I have no idea, but the horniness factor is on 12.
00:50:26
Speaker
Yeah, can't relate.
00:50:28
Speaker
I don't know.
00:50:28
Speaker
When I'm with family, I feel the exact opposite of horny.
00:50:33
Speaker
You don't have school.
00:50:34
Speaker
You don't have work.
00:50:35
Speaker
You know, you know, like next, like the next day you don't have to do anything.
00:50:39
Speaker
Do you have a specific story to tell us, Ro?
00:50:41
Speaker
Is there like, or is this a repeat thing?
00:50:43
Speaker
I mean, it's not very exciting because it's just like I went to my boyfriend's Thanksgiving and then like we snuck away and fucked.
00:50:50
Speaker
And it was it was hitting right.
00:50:54
Speaker
So maybe it's the fact that you're sneaking away that makes it so hot.
00:50:57
Speaker
It could be that.
00:50:58
Speaker
It could be that you're sneaking away from the family.
00:51:00
Speaker
And there's like this intimate thing about it.
00:51:03
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:04
Speaker
I don't know.
00:51:04
Speaker
I look forward to holiday dick.
00:51:06
Speaker
I actually think it's better than birthday dick in some respects.
00:51:08
Speaker
Holiday dick.
00:51:09
Speaker
When you said Thanksgiving dick, I don't know why, but I just imagine like a cornucopia, you know, that cornucopia with like all the fruits and vegetables in it.
00:51:17
Speaker
And it's like that triangular basket.
00:51:19
Speaker
I'm just imagining like the cornucopia with you got like the apples and the pumpkins and then just a big old dick right there.
00:51:24
Speaker
It's like a bumper crop of penis this year.
00:51:28
Speaker
Bumper crop of penis.
00:51:29
Speaker
Can you find some like really good Thanksgiving clapbacks from Twitter or something?
00:51:33
Speaker
All right.
00:51:33
Speaker
So, all right.
00:51:35
Speaker
Ant, do you wonder why no one likes you?
00:51:37
Speaker
Me.
00:51:37
Speaker
Do you ever wonder why all your kids have different last names?
00:51:40
Speaker
So you can favor that one for your aunt if you want to.
00:51:45
Speaker
She ever tries to jump up during the holidays.
00:51:47
Speaker
All your kids have different last names.
00:51:49
Speaker
She's ever feeling froggy.
00:51:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:50
Speaker
Antie, you're still messing with that girl with the baby?
00:51:54
Speaker
Me.
00:51:54
Speaker
You still messing with that man with the wife?
00:51:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:58
Speaker
Oh.
00:51:59
Speaker
I've seen this before.
00:52:00
Speaker
Where, like, family members will shame guys date women with kids.
00:52:04
Speaker
Or vice versa.
00:52:05
Speaker
Women who date guys with kids.
00:52:06
Speaker
But I don't know.
00:52:09
Speaker
Auntie, when are you going to start having kids?
00:52:11
Speaker
Me, when are you going to stop?
00:52:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:14
Speaker
I don't know.
00:52:15
Speaker
I'm of the view...
00:52:17
Speaker
I know a lot of people are like, no, we should keep the peace around the holidays because it's about coming together and blah, blah, blah.
00:52:22
Speaker
And I'm like, hell no.
00:52:23
Speaker
If someone is insulting me or being passive aggressive, I will declare war on them.
00:52:27
Speaker
I'm like, bitch, I will win.
00:52:29
Speaker
I don't even see it in terms of like, oh, family togetherness.
00:52:32
Speaker
Oh, let's cooperate.
00:52:32
Speaker
No, if you're going to say something like that to me, I declare war on you.
00:52:36
Speaker
Is it petty?
00:52:37
Speaker
Yes.
00:52:38
Speaker
Do I care?
00:52:41
Speaker
Yeah, it's like, it's honestly, sometimes that's like the only reason to even show up if you just want to be a spectator.
00:52:47
Speaker
It's not fun to be the drama.
00:52:48
Speaker
No, I love being the drama.
00:52:50
Speaker
You like to be the drama.
00:52:52
Speaker
I love being the drama.
00:52:54
Speaker
I don't like being the drama because I'm like...
00:52:58
Speaker
You know, I feel like people have gotten a feel for my personality here because I feel like I would probably say something horribly mean but accurate.
00:53:05
Speaker
I'm so sorry for that horrible mean but accurate thing I said about you.
00:53:09
Speaker
Yeah, it'd be World War III.
00:53:11
Speaker
I think the problem is, is like so many of my other family members are like, they can't handle anything.
00:53:16
Speaker
So I feel like the sane, stable family members just, most of the time they're just staying out of the drama and then watching like the unstable family members fight.
00:53:26
Speaker
No, but that's the thing.
00:53:27
Speaker
It's always the people who dish it the hardest, who have the thinnest skin, like my Uncle Jim, for example.
00:53:33
Speaker
Like, he spent my entire childhood, like, bullying me horribly until I cried almost every single holiday.
00:53:39
Speaker
The moment I say that he's an incel or that he's going to die single, oh, all of a sudden we have a problem.
00:53:45
Speaker
So that's why...
00:53:46
Speaker
I see it as justice, not being petty, honestly.
00:53:50
Speaker
I have a crazy-ass aunt who, like, once dropped her baby to fight me, but that's a whole... It wasn't Thanksgiving.
00:53:59
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:54:01
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:54:03
Speaker
It wasn't Thanksgiving, though, so I don't know if that was a Thanksgiving story.
00:54:06
Speaker
But that aunt's crazy as fuck, so it's like everyone just sort of tolerates her and feels bad for her kids.
00:54:13
Speaker
I do have a piece of advice, like going back into serious mode about how to deal with toxic family members.
00:54:19
Speaker
Um, if you have a, if you find yourself going to family gatherings and getting really like traumatized or triggered because of people being shitty to you when you were younger and it just puts you back in that mental state of being like constantly under attack.
00:54:31
Speaker
Anyways.
00:54:32
Speaker
Um,
00:54:32
Speaker
If your family member is being shitty to you, but you're not in a situation where you can just clap back and face no consequences, like if there's consequences for clapping back, what I'd recommend is instead is to do this thing called riding the trigger.
00:54:44
Speaker
So if someone is like shitty to you, it puts you in this mental state of like fight or flight.
00:54:49
Speaker
Like I need to, I need to fight back.
00:54:51
Speaker
It's almost better to just...
00:54:54
Speaker
let that sort of fight or flight reflex to happen.
00:54:57
Speaker
Just like, just let the anger kind of flow through your body and then you'll come out the other side being able to think rationally.
00:55:04
Speaker
Because in the moment when you're feeling triggered or when you're feeling like in attack mode, it prevents you from being able to think rationally.
00:55:10
Speaker
And so in cases where it's not safe for you to clap back or it's just counterproductive, then I would just say ride the trigger, wait until you've calmed down and then come out the other side.
00:55:20
Speaker
Cooler heads prevail.
00:55:21
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:55:22
Speaker
But I'm petty as fuck, so I don't do that.
00:55:24
Speaker
So do what I say, not as I do.
00:55:29
Speaker
I mean, it's certainly entertaining, right?
00:55:31
Speaker
So yeah.
00:55:33
Speaker
Well, thanks, Lilith.
00:55:34
Speaker
And happy Thanksgiving to all our listeners out there.
00:55:38
Speaker
I want to just say I'm really grateful to all of our listeners and our Patreon subscribers.
00:55:42
Speaker
And so thank you so much for supporting us this year.
00:55:44
Speaker
And hopefully 2022 will be an even better year for us.
00:55:48
Speaker
Heck yeah.
00:55:49
Speaker
I can't believe it, but we've already, you know, we've broken top 100 in relationship podcasts in the United States.
00:55:55
Speaker
Hell yeah.
00:55:56
Speaker
For a podcast that's not even when we start March, so.
00:56:00
Speaker
Nine months old?
00:56:01
Speaker
Yeah, not even nine months old yet.
00:56:03
Speaker
We're killing it.
00:56:04
Speaker
So we appreciate all of your support.
00:56:06
Speaker
Thanks, guys.
00:56:08
Speaker
Please check out our Patreon at patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:56:12
Speaker
And we have weekly bonus content as well as chit chat with us on the discord.
00:56:18
Speaker
And you can submit your own roast to scrote if you want to if you want us to roast the scrotes in your life, Thanksgiving or otherwise.
00:56:23
Speaker
Check out our Patreon.
00:56:25
Speaker
Check out our website at the female dating strategy dot com.
00:56:29
Speaker
There's a forum there as well as our Twitter at fem dat strat.
00:56:33
Speaker
And our Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
00:56:36
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
00:56:38
Speaker
And for all you Thanksgiving scrotes out there, get stuffed.
00:56:41
Speaker
Dime Ed, see you next week.