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23. Personal Relationship Stories from toxic patterns to healthy + stable
26 Plays2 years ago
Hi babes! This week we're diving into Love and Relationships and I'm using my personal experiences as examples of how my shadows and gifts have showed up in love.
From my unconscious years where I found myself very insecure, jealous, anxiously attached in relationships and situationships to my current stable and secure going on 8 years relationship... I break down what changed, and how I changed in order to show up differently in relationships.
Connect with me: www.instagram.com/iamellisamae
Book a Human Design or Gene Keys Reading with me: https://calendly.com/byellisamccoy
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Transcript
Introduction to 'It's Happening For Me' Podcast
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, my friend. Welcome to the It's Happening For Me podcast. If you are obsessed with all things spirituality, personal growth and development, and living as your highest self, you are in the right place. I am your host, Alyssa, and I spent the majority of my teenage years and young 20s living totally out of climate. As I started to question my patterns and behaviors and actually got to know myself at the soul level, I realized that everything was happening for me.
00:00:30
Speaker
Now, as a spiritual life coach and human design guide, I am here to share my voice, personal stories, human design wisdom, and learn from incredible individuals living their purpose. Join me each week as we walk the spiral path of purpose together. I cannot wait to dive in.
Relationships and the Venus Sequence
00:00:57
Speaker
another episode of the It's Happening For Me podcast. I am your host, Alyssa, and I'm so happy you're here today. So in honor of me practicing opening my Akashic records, I wanted to open my records and just ask, what do you want me to talk about today? Like what wants to come through?
00:01:19
Speaker
And what I got was relationships. And so I have been in my current relationship going on eight years and I'm definitely not an expert in dating. So I'm not going to be talking about dating tips. I'm not going to be talking about things that I can't speak on, but
00:01:39
Speaker
I really feel called to tie this in a lot with the jean keys. The past couple of weeks, maybe month and a half, I've really been focusing on the Venus sequence, which is all about love and relationships. And so I've been having all these crazy insights, downloads, and love and relationships is something that we all can relate to. I think that is the human
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Speaker
desire that we all have is to be in love and to have a loving relationship.
Stages of Relationships
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Speaker
And so whether you are single or in a relationship right now, whether you're in a very healthy, committed relationship that feels very expansive and juicy, or maybe you're in a relationship where it's starting to not feel so good, and maybe you're kind of just like,
00:02:29
Speaker
going through the motions, but it doesn't really feel passionate anymore. You don't really feel connected to your partner. Maybe you're in a situation ship and it's stressful AF and heartbreaking. And wherever you are, I think this episode will be helpful. And I'm just excited to dive into it and kind of talk about some past experiences I've had and then kind of interweave in
00:02:54
Speaker
some kind of key concepts from the gene keys and what it says about relationships and then also have like channel message messages come through to just give us some guidance because girl, we all deserve to be in love.
00:03:09
Speaker
Oh my gosh, I have to tell you guys. So I just had to pause my recording right now. And it's funny how Spirit will test the shit out of you or like bring things up, especially when you're talking about it. And I think especially because I have the records open and I'm talking about relationships. I'm going to be talking about patterns, our shadows. It's funny because so we live in a one bedroom apartment and the way we have it set up right now is
00:03:36
Speaker
George's anime world and office and all of his stuff to go live streaming is in the bedroom. And then in our living room, I made it my room and then I set up my office and it's so cute. I freaking love it. It's big. It's open. I have such a beautiful view outside. But the thing is,
00:03:56
Speaker
it can feel like I don't have any privacy because I can't just like close myself into a room. So it's like if George wants to come out of his room and like go to the kitchen or like go to the bathroom, it's like he's walking by. And I'm still at the point where it's like really uncomfortable and awkward for me to record a podcast where I feel like somebody can hear me, especially him. And especially because the topic today is going to be about like relationships. It's going to be like,
00:04:22
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It's just like I don't want him listening to that, you know, and so I just like witnessed myself getting so
00:04:31
Speaker
impatient and agitated, which are two of my shadows, as he came out and was like, oh, I just want to lay down for a while and lay with Pina. And I was like, oh, my God, dude, I'm recording right now. What have you been doing this whole day? Now you want to do this now? And so he agreed to leave me alone and close the door so I can have total silence and privacy. But it was just funny because I was like, oh, of course this would happen right now and bring me into my
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Speaker
raging shadow states right when I'm about to talk about patterns and relationships so wow it's so hilarious.
First Love and Early Heartbreaks
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Speaker
Okay so anyways so I wanted to kind of talk about like my experience with love growing up and I was always and I don't know if you can relate to this but I was always somebody who just like wanted to be in love like
00:05:25
Speaker
I would visualize, probably when I was in middle school, I would visualize my boyfriend in high school picking me up and I would be walking down the stairs of my house and in my prom dress and we would go to prom and it was so romantic and I had all of these little fantasies of that, of going to prom and having a boyfriend and doing all these fun things with him.
00:05:48
Speaker
And I always just wanted to be in love. I always had this vision and this idea of like, oh, if I'm just with my person, then no matter what I do, no matter if I have to move somewhere, no matter if life gets difficult, at least I'll have this person and I'll be so happy. And so I kind of went into the world seeking that and
00:06:13
Speaker
I instantly was met with heartache when I opened my heart to love. And so I think the most heartbreaking things can happen when we're in high school because we're in those puppy love stages where it's like
00:06:28
Speaker
your first love or the you know the first time you're really opening yourself up to somebody else and it's like you're infatuated with this person and it's like all you can think about and it's like so exciting and um and then when you get your heart broken it's like so painful and
00:06:46
Speaker
I remember, before I entered into my first love, I would say my first long-term boyfriend, we were on and off for seven years. That started, I think, when I was 16. But before that, I had two boys that I liked.
00:07:04
Speaker
One, I had met from a family friend that we had. She lived probably 30 minutes away. One time when I went to visit her and hang out with her on the weekends, we would trade off of going to each other's houses on the weekends. One time when I went to hers, she had all of these friends, all of these guy friends in middle school.
00:07:23
Speaker
I didn't really have any guy friends at my school. But anyways, we would go and hang out with her guy friends. And then I really started liking this one boy. And I remember we met the two of them at a taco shop or something. And they were like skateboarders. They were like little skaters. And then we were just riding on their skateboards down this hill, sitting on the skateboard and going down the hill.
00:07:47
Speaker
Oh my God, I think I like this guy so much. And so then I had this like crush on him and then we started talking. This was literally, no, I think this wasn't middle school. This was high school. This was like maybe freshman year. And I had no experience with like boys or dating. And so I was just like, Oh wow, I like him so much. And I think we would like start talking on messenger and it was just like really
00:08:08
Speaker
dumb, but at the time, I was like, oh my God, I like him so much. And then we would hang out whenever we would go to our house, whenever I would go to my friend's house and we would watch movies and go to the mall. That was our favorite place, was to meet up to go to the mall. And I remember I was so nervous to kiss a boy. And I think this is because my core wound
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Speaker
is inadequacy. And so my whole life, it's that feeling of not feeling like I'm good enough. And so my fear was like, oh my God, I don't know how to kiss somebody. I'm going to be horrible. I don't know how to do it. So I remember I would not kiss him for months. I was just so scared. I was like, oh my God, I'm never going to kiss this person.
00:08:52
Speaker
because i'm so nervous and then i remember like one day like i was like okay i'm just gonna do it i think i've been like talk to him like i don't know how to do it i'm so nervous and then um yeah so i ended up kissing him and then that's all we did was like kiss each other
00:09:06
Speaker
And then I remember a couple of weekends later, I went to hang out with him at the mall. And one of our mutual friends told me that, oh, he's cheating on you. He went to a show with this girl and made out with her. And it's so silly to think about because it's like, oh, he's cheating on you. We weren't even together. I just like this person, happened to kiss him. I thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but he even knows if we were. It was just so ridiculous.
00:09:37
Speaker
It literally crushed me. I remember I was just like, oh my God, I hate you. And my friend and I at the time, we got on the trolley at the mall and went back to where we live or just to get away from them. And I was just crying and crying. And that was my first taste of heartbreak. And it was so sad.
00:09:55
Speaker
And it was a feeling of being inadequate of like, wow, like, I'm not good enough. They he likes someone else more than me. Like, how could he do this? It was the first time feeling deceived. Like, it was just really sad because I was so innocent. And so that was like my first little taste of heartbreak. And then I remember the second one, I like really liked my neighbor, like I had such a crush on my neighbor. And
00:10:23
Speaker
He was older than me, so he was probably two or three grades older than
Overcoming Relationship Inadequacy
00:10:28
Speaker
me. I think he was a senior actually when I was a freshman.
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And so I had such a crush on him, but he was embarrassed of me. And so he wouldn't like really talk to me at school, but we would hang out with each other outside of school. We would talk to each other like on the phone all the time. And so it was like, but he was embarrassed that I was like a freshman, like a lame freshman, and he was like a senior. And so that also kind of activated these inadequate wounds of like, Oh, I'm not cool enough for
00:10:53
Speaker
somebody to actually like talk to me in front of other people at school because I'm such a loser or like I'm not good enough. And looking back again, these things can be laughable now, but in the time it was just so sad. And I remember I had one of my best friends come visit me from out of state.
00:11:13
Speaker
And I had to go babysit my other neighbor. And so they hung out when I wasn't there. And then on Myspace, I don't know if you guys can remember Myspace, the next day he put her in his top five or whatever it was. I don't remember what it was, top four, top eight. But he put my best friend as the top one. And then they were like,
00:11:36
Speaker
I don't know pretending like they were dating. It was just really weird and really like shitty. And that's the first time that I started having this pattern of like the people that I really like liking my friends. And so that was extremely heartbreaking.
00:11:51
Speaker
And it's so heartbreaking, especially when it's like your best friend and she's not necessarily doing anything wrong. Like me and this person, we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. We weren't like officially dating, but it's like, you still know that I like this person. Like I have such a huge crush on this person and like,
00:12:14
Speaker
the pain of not being able to hang out or talk to each other at school because he's embarrassed that I'm a freshman and then putting my best friend on his top four top eight on MySpace for everyone to see, everyone on MySpace, it was
00:12:31
Speaker
so heartbreaking. It was that it was just activating that pattern of like inadequacy, not being good enough. Like my friend is better than me. And it's like, it's like what is going on? And so I really didn't know how to feel those emotions or how to like
00:12:51
Speaker
I didn't know how to get past that because I didn't have my own relationship with myself yet and my self-worth was not built up. I was very insecure, very not confident when I was in middle school and high school, even outside of high school. Probably until 28, 29, 30, that's when I started getting my confidence, really confident.
Breaking Toxic Cycles
00:13:15
Speaker
Guess what also happened at that time?
00:13:17
Speaker
my spiritual awakening, you know, and like diving into personal growth and development and strengthening this relationship with myself. And it's like before I had that, I was extremely insecure, jealous,
00:13:31
Speaker
and just always living in my shadow frequencies. So then fast forward to having the first, like my first real boyfriend in high school. And I would say that was like, definitely puppy love. Like I think we both really loved each other and it was like really
00:13:48
Speaker
like so cool to experience, very innocent, very pure. Like that's who I lost my virginity to. And it was just like, I wouldn't regret that ever. I feel like that was like very, it was very special, very loving. And I know a lot of people don't have that experience. And like,
00:14:10
Speaker
I even see like some people are in such a rush to like make it happen or they just want to quote-unquote get it over with and I was never like that. I don't know if it was like the inadequacy thing but I was always like really afraid of it because I just thought I was gonna suck and I was like I don't know what I'm doing and so it was just like a very loving
00:14:29
Speaker
Beautiful thing. And then, you know, life happens and certain things start coming, like started coming up. We both like to drink a lot. So now you're adding in alcohol and then you're adding in jealousy.
00:14:46
Speaker
You're adding in all of the shadow frequencies that I have, agitation, impatience, and then the same thing started happening again with my friends and him liking my friends, really not feeling secure in the relationship.
00:15:07
Speaker
I think we both cheated on each other. And then it was kind of like, we ended up just staying together when we should have broken up. And then it was kind of like an off and on relationship that lasted seven years that became very toxic. And it should have ended like before it did. But the thing is, is that
00:15:30
Speaker
We have, we create this karmic patterns in our relationships. And this is what I really, really like the gene case because as I was like exploring the Venus sequence and just exploring what Richard Red says about
00:15:43
Speaker
like our emotional, mental and spiritual IQs in relationships, we get in this pattern where he calls it the, I think he calls it the Eden loop, where we keep looping, if we're in a shadow pattern with somebody and we keep activating each other, we're activating each other's mental and emotional reactions. And until someone else gets out of it or stops reacting,
00:16:08
Speaker
It's like this loop that continues and continues and continues. So if you've ever been in a relationship where you guys kind of hate each other, but you also really love each other, it's kind of like extremes, like passionate, but also a lot of hate and a lot of disrespect, a lot of just
00:16:30
Speaker
not respecting the relationship, whether that's even not cheating or cheating or just maybe being disrespectful to each other when you guys are arguing or whatever it is. It's beyond normal arguing and relationships. This pattern happens in normal, healthy relationships too. It takes one person to get out of this loop, which I'm going to talk about how to do in a second because it's so freaking fascinating. But if you've ever been in a toxic relationship, for example,
00:17:00
Speaker
Um, Richard really talks about like the only Richard says this in relationships. If you are someone who ends relationships too quickly because it's getting hard and you don't want to like work through it, you're going to continue to attract the same relationships until you heal that karmic lesson that you need to learn. The only exception to this is toxicity.
Navigating Singlehood and Dating
00:17:24
Speaker
So if you are being cheated on, you know, if you're in an abusive relationship, those are the reasons why it's very important to end the relationship because there is like nothing that you can work on at that point. And it's also like preserving your self-respect, your dignity, your health, your wellness is not engaging in toxic relationships.
00:17:48
Speaker
So I let that relationship go on for way too long and I endured way so much heartache and just so much pain, so much reactivations of wounds of like not being chosen again, not being chosen again. And it was just unnecessary. And I was living in this state of like constant jealousy, constant insecurities, constantly wondering what's going on and
00:18:16
Speaker
It was just, yeah, it just became super toxic. So if that's ever happened to you, that is like pretty much the only logical, healthy thing to do would be to leave the relationship, which some people never leave the relationship. And we hear about this, you know? And what I started doing is my friends and people that I was closest to,
00:18:38
Speaker
I stopped sharing with them the bad things because it was so embarrassing when I would share with them, like, oh, I'm so mad at him for this, or I'm so over it. And I would share with them the details. And then it's like, oh, I'm back together with them the next week. And it's like, they're so tired of hearing of it. And they're like, oh, why are you back together with him when X, Y, and Z happened? And so then I just stopped sharing any of it because I was like, oh, I don't want to look stupid. And so that's another thing.
00:19:07
Speaker
feel comfortable to talk to your closest friends or your family, your mom, whoever you have a close relationship to, about someone who has an unbiased outside support system. If you can't talk to them about what's going on in your relationship, it probably is toxic because
00:19:23
Speaker
you should be able to have someone outside of the relationship that you can just have someone to trust to vent to. And not necessarily take advice from, because you're the only person that can know what's best for you. But anyways, so that was kind of, okay, so then after that, when we totally broke up with each other,
00:19:48
Speaker
And it was very hard to break up, to be honest, because I would try to break up and get away. He would always somehow contact me, come back into my life. It was very annoying, to be honest. And that's kind of what happens with misery-loving company people. It's like they want to keep attaching themselves to you. And so you have to totally break free, which is really hard to do. So I kind of totally broke free for a while.
00:20:17
Speaker
And then I was like, oh, well, I'm in my single era, single dating era. And so then I was faced with this new challenge of like, how do I date? I literally have had a boyfriend for seven years since I was a teenager. So I don't really even know myself. And so what I was doing is I was using alcohol as a coping mechanism for social anxiety, for feeling insecure, not feeling confident in myself. And so I just thought that everyone
00:20:47
Speaker
just drank and that's how you met people was like at bars or like on dating apps and you would go like get a beer or get a drink and I just thought that's like how you did it I didn't know that you could like meet somebody outside of that and so that proved to be challenging as well like I think I've only went on like a couple dates and it just like it just I just didn't like it like it was just nothing
00:21:10
Speaker
great came from it. And yeah, it just like wasn't fruitful for me. So if you are someone who is currently single and you're on the dating apps, I would love for you. I would actually like love to have someone on and talk to them about it because I'm very curious. Like how is it? Like how do you find people these days? I have no idea.
00:21:30
Speaker
I would love, I think it would be cool to have somebody's like tips and tricks on how do you actually date now? And like, is it through dating apps? Is it through just doing things that you love to do? I would really like to know that. But anyway, so the dating apps didn't really work for me.
00:21:46
Speaker
Then I ended up finding myself in a situationship.
Lessons from Situationships
00:21:50
Speaker
And so I think a lot of us find ourselves in these and it was the neighbor of one of my friends at the time. And I really started liking him. I met him at like a party that she had one day and he was like her next door neighbor. And then I ended up moving in with her into the apartment and I was just like, Oh my God, like,
00:22:14
Speaker
he's going to San Diego State. I think he was going for architecture or something. I just thought that was so hot because in the past, I had never really dated somebody who
00:22:30
Speaker
had like a professional career or was like going for a professional career, which is just so funny. And so I was like, Oh my God, he's going to be an architecture. And he was a foreign exchange student from Saudi Arabia. And so then I kind of found myself in a situationship with him where I really liked him, but I was
00:22:52
Speaker
I didn't know how to date anyone. And so I was taking in all of like the wrong red flag things to do, which turned it could have been a relationship. I think we've even talked about this in the past, but kind of because of the way I was showing up, it was clear to him that it wasn't a relationship. So these are some of the things I would do. I thought that, cause I had no idea what I was doing. So I thought that guys liked girls who had so much friends and had such a like,
00:23:21
Speaker
active social life. So I would always post myself going out, getting drinks. I thought that it was cool to have a lot of friends. And so I would literally answer the phone when I was with him. When it was just me and him, I would answer the phone and talk to a girlfriend.
00:23:39
Speaker
just in front of him for like a long period of time, which now is like so rude and weird. It's like, I don't know why the fuck I would do that, but I just thought it made me look cool. And like, I thought it made me look like social. And so I was like, Oh, I think this is like attractive. And then I would talk so much shit about my ex boyfriend. Like I talked about him all the time. I would like show him pictures and like, um,
00:24:03
Speaker
show him the Instagram of the girl that he chose over me and just talk shit about her. And I thought that that made me look better, which obviously is super toxic. And I remember later on when we ended up not being serious. It was more of just a situation shift, like I said. And I was like, dude, I thought we were going to be committed. Why
00:24:28
Speaker
haven't we taken this to the next level?" And he was like, I honestly thought you were still in love with your ex. You talk about him all of the time. I was like, oh my God, really? And so I took that little tip and going into my new relationship, which I'll fast forward to in a second, which is now George, I would never talk about my ex. If he asked me questions, I would talk about my past. He knew just everything about me, but I just wouldn't talk about him because that's something that I learned from that.
00:24:54
Speaker
guys don't like that which makes sense like nobody likes that like same with us girls like I'm not gonna want someone I'm potentially dating to always be talking about his ex like that's crazy so that I just thought was so funny um
00:25:11
Speaker
So yeah, so that ended up also in heartbreak, feeling like I wasn't the one being chosen. And so I created this story that no one chooses me. I created this story that I'm not worthy of being in a committed relationship. Everybody just likes my friends. Everybody is, oh, even if they like me in the moment, they're gonna meet a friend of mine and then think they're more beautiful or more funny or more outgoing.
00:25:37
Speaker
and then they're going to choose them over me. It was very toxic and it created this toxic cycle where then I didn't even want to bring guys that I liked around my friends. It's not to say that any of my friends
00:25:52
Speaker
later on like reciprocated that or like gave or like fed into it but it was just an insecurity that I had and so that was very painful um and so I found myself in these patterns of just being like extremely jealous um always wondering like oh I wonder what like what's really going on and so I never felt secure
00:26:12
Speaker
So then fast forward to when I started dating George.
Healthy Relationships and Love Bombing
00:26:16
Speaker
So George was the first one who this is the longest relationship I've been in. We've been going on eight years now and it is like the most healthy. If you listen to other episodes, especially my one on why I live an alcohol-free lifestyle now, I do go into our relationship dynamics a bit more and talk about
00:26:35
Speaker
a breakup that we had that lasted like a year. So I'm not going to get into that now. But if you're interested, you can check that one out. It's just like a few episodes ago. But I want to talk about like what I did different going into this relationship and how things are literally night and day from where they were.
00:26:53
Speaker
And the reason why also I think it's so successful is because when we very first started dating, remember I was not on my spiritual awakening path and personal growth and development path. Like I hadn't hit that yet.
00:27:07
Speaker
So I was still in some shadow patterns. Like I still was very nervous to be around him. So like I would drink in my dorm before I would go see him. Um, I was very, very freaking jealous, like overly jealous around certain things. I would be triggered more often than not. And then this is what is so cool. You guys, when I went through my spiritual awakening and started on my spiritual growth journey path,
00:27:37
Speaker
I think I went through the genius sequence in the Gene Keys path. On the Golden Path, the first path is yourself. It is diving into yourself. It is diving into your life's work, diving into your evolution. What is the biggest core challenge you're going to face up against? It's diving into your health and radiance, and it's diving into your purpose.
00:28:00
Speaker
I obviously didn't know about the gene keys at the time, but I was doing so much self discovery that I was healing myself. And so then I was able to move on to the Venus sequence, which is healing the inner child and doing the inner child work so that I can thrive in relationships. And so I think that's where I was able to get to that path because in the Venus sequence,
00:28:24
Speaker
you are going to be unstable in relationships if you're not stable in yourself. And so for those who continue to have
00:28:37
Speaker
really big issues in relationships, the first step that they can do is to work on themselves, is to start healing those wounds, to start even just bringing awareness to what the wounds are, bringing awareness to what is their bigger purpose in life. Because I'm going to get into that too, like what is so attractive in someone is they have a purpose, like they have a mission, they have their own life going on. And you are not the sole reason that they're alive because that is very, um,
00:29:09
Speaker
What's the word? There's magnetizing and there's retracting. It's very repelling. It's very repelling when you're someone's entire world and you're all that they live for.
00:29:23
Speaker
Kind of like when someone's sole goal is marriage. It's like, okay, why is your only biggest goal in life to be married? Because then what happens after your wedding day? Then what are you living for? To me, that's just weird. And so I'll get into that too. But anyways, so these are some things that I think, um, sorry, I'm having like an auto out of body experience right now, wondering if this episode is even making sense.
00:29:49
Speaker
Cause I feel like I am rambling a lot. I did take notes so that I can kind of like guide you guys on the path of what I want to talk about. And I wrote down the notes once I opened my records, but I hope this is making sense. Okay.
00:30:01
Speaker
Oh, there's that little core wound of inadequacy. I'm just kidding. Okay, so this is what I think hit different when me and George started dating. So first of all, we did not rush into a relationship. So we started off as friends with benefits. And he made it very clear that he wants to get to know me before we make anything official. And so from the beginning, there was a lot of honesty. There was a lot of communication. It was very transparent, like,
00:30:28
Speaker
You're in these are my intentions. This is what I want to do right now This is you know where I'm at and so I was never guessing like from the beginning I was never wondering like oh my god, like what are we or like? Where do I think it's progressing? I always knew exactly where we were at and so it was up to me if I want to play on Those terms and I did like I was having so much fun. Like it was very passionate It was like very
00:30:56
Speaker
It was, it was incredible. So that's the beginning is very clear boundaries. So then the second thing was not rushing into anything. One of the biggest repulsive things to me is when somebody's obsessed with me. And this also is in, this is somewhere in my
00:31:20
Speaker
This is somewhere in my jane keys. I forget exactly where it's at. I was looking at it the other day, but it's this thing where it's like if somebody is showing
00:31:32
Speaker
too much interest in me. It's like I kind of like the chase. So it's like, I like the chase. And then if they show too much interest in me, like right off the bat, which I think a lot of people can relate to, it's like, ew, like nevermind. Like that's weird. And not coming from a wounded place of like, I don't understand why you like me or not being insecure, but just being like, whoa, like we don't even know each other. So this is kind of weird and inauthentic for you to like me so much. So
00:31:57
Speaker
That's something I really liked is there wasn't that. It wasn't like love bombing. I think, yes, that's a great term. So you know when people talk about narcissists or love bombing and when people just right off the bat are all in and they're just bombing you with this freaking love bombing words of like, oh my god, I can't be without you. I don't know. I don't even know what examples of love bombing are. Let me look some up. Let's see.
00:32:32
Speaker
I am curious to see what some examples are, because they're not coming to mind. OK, so this is how to spot a love bombing. OK, so love bombing starts early. So it says, most relationships go through an infatuation stage. Notice it's a honeymoon stage where bonding hormones are at their highest.
00:33:00
Speaker
during the first few weeks or months. So it's normal for couples to be captivated by each other. So definitely experienced that with George. It was very captivating, very passionate. Okay. So there's love bombing versus future talking. So future faking, oh, sorry, love bombing versus future faking. Future faking means making false promises or claims about the future to get the other person to stay committed.
00:33:27
Speaker
So that's kind of, I think, where we get this idea of fuckboys. It's like, future faking means like, oh, it's lying about your intentions. Like, oh, I see this going somewhere, you know, maybe so that they can keep hooking up with you, or like, yeah, I see a potential of a relationship in the future when they're lying. Like, they're not really serious. And it says, the faker strings the other person along without any intention of following through.
00:33:55
Speaker
A future faker might tell their partner that they've booked a luxurious romantic vacation for three months from now, but never actually plan or book anything. Ooh, so it keeps the person invested in their relationship, at least up until that time to the supposed vacation. And then... Love bombing. So gaslighting and love bombing both involve an abuser manipulating their partner.
00:34:25
Speaker
So they both are used to gain control of another person and can cause the victims to question themselves. The difference lies in the instigator's approach to gaining control. A gas lighter aims to control the victim by creating doubt and confusion. Oof. Hate that shit. While a love bomber seeks to control through overwhelming affection and attention. So in many cases, these two types of emotional abuse go hand in hand. Ooh, that's sketchy.
00:34:57
Speaker
When confronted, love bombers may accuse their partners of being selfish or unreasonable about boundaries. If the affected partner tries to take some distance, the love bomber will do whatever they can to reel them back in. Love bombing is so unhealthy because
00:35:20
Speaker
It can be an indicator of insecure attachment style and it's also common in people with narcissistic tendencies and low self-esteem. At its root, love bombing is a form of emotional abuse. Victims who continue to accept the flattery may go on to experience traumatic bonding, a type of unhealthy attachment where victims stay in abusive relationships because they feel emotionally connected to their abusers. Okay, so that's what I'm talking about where
00:35:49
Speaker
It's weird when people come on so fast, so strong, so fast. It's inauthentic. No one can like you that much when they don't even fucking know you. And so if you're someone who's being love-bombed where they're giving you unreasonable amounts of flattery and affection and attention, and then they might switch it up with the other one they said with gaslighting of withdrawing or making you feel crazy, they might be using both of them.
00:36:17
Speaker
that can be a sign that it's a toxic relationship.
00:36:20
Speaker
And so that's one of the things that I really liked about George is that it was none of that. It was like very transparent. Like this is my intentions. I don't intend on starting a relationship right now. I want to get to know you first. I take relationships extremely seriously. I'm all in when I'm all in. I don't know you, but I would love to get to know you. And it wasn't like fake future planning, you know, like shrinking me along. It was very honest. So that's one thing that I really loved about it. Um,
00:36:50
Speaker
Another thing that I really think I really liked about it is that there were no games. Like he, if he wanted to, he wanted to hang out with me, like he wanted to see me and I wanted to see him. We didn't do any games of like, Oh, I'm not going to text him for like this or this days. Like, I'm not going to like respond to him. It was just like, he would ask me to hang out and I would ask him to hang out. And that's, it was very, um,
00:37:18
Speaker
Like respectful and just like oh like I want to hang out with you And so there wasn't any like game playing or trying to like be cool or put a certain distance in between it And so that's one thing that's a channel message message that I wrote down when I opened my records today was that When a man genuinely likes you they will call you they will text you they will give you time and attention if They like you
00:37:46
Speaker
So anytime that you feel like they're not, and I've done this in the past too, where we can make excuses for them of like, Oh, like they must be busy or like they must have a lot of things going on. That is not true. Like we make time and we prioritize what is important for us. So if a guy likes you, he will call you. If a guy likes you, he will make an effort. He will want to hang out with you. He will plan things. He just will that like guys are very easy.
00:38:16
Speaker
The other thing that I wrote down that was channeled that is very true is that it's not that they're bad communicators. If they just want to hook up
00:38:27
Speaker
they'll give you the least amount of information possible so that you don't know a lot about them. So what I meant by that when I wrote that down is that I used to think that certain guys were just bad at communicating. I used to think that certain guys just weren't deep. They were very surface level. They just didn't really want to get to know me that much. They didn't like having deep conversations.
00:38:50
Speaker
it's not that, okay? And I've actually talked about this with George. Like he used to be, he wasn't like ever a fuck boy, but he was a player in his days. Like, you know, he did have, as he likes to say, he did have a lot of game. And so he told me that
00:39:07
Speaker
Guys are not dumb. Guys are not non-communicators. If they're not opening up to you and if they're not letting you know things and they're not answering questions, it's because they're trying to keep it secretive and they're trying to give you the least information possible because they just want to hook up or they just want whatever X, Y, and Z it is that they're getting from the relationship.
00:39:28
Speaker
Because when a guy is genuinely interested in you, he wants to know about you. He will ask you questions about yourself. He will tell you about his life, about his family. They can talk for hours. Men are good communicators. It's just that if they're not, they're probably not interested. So that's one thing that I wrote down that I had kind of channeled through. The other thing that I wrote down that kind of channeled through was that
00:39:51
Speaker
marriage is not the end goal, okay? So just because a man in your life doesn't propose doesn't mean that he's not serious. So I feel like what marriage has become has become a very societal driven like conditioned belief that we women feel
00:40:13
Speaker
is like the ultimate act of love and the ultimate act of like choose being chosen and that security and that um because women ultimately want to be secure we want to have safety we want to know that we're being chosen we want you know certainty okay this is what's coming through right now we want to have certainty but guess what
00:40:37
Speaker
There is no fucking certainty in life. There is no certainty. Look at it. Just because you're married, does that mean that you're never going to get cheated on or cheated on somebody? Absolutely not. Just because you're married, does that mean that you're never going to get divorced? No. So marriage is not what we want to shoot for when we want to shoot for security, safety, commitment. Okay. What we want to shoot for is being on the same page with our partner. We want to shoot for having,
00:41:06
Speaker
similar values, goals, similar lifestyles that we want to live. We want to be able to plan a future together and not be so attached to this idea of certainty forever till death do us part. Because also in a lot of spiritual teachings, which I really, really believe in, is that we're not always meant
00:41:34
Speaker
to be with one person for the rest of our life. If there comes a time where there is no more growing involved, if we're not moving towards the same sort of thing, we don't have to have the same interests. We don't have to like the same things. But if we're not moving towards the same place and maybe one person is not at all
00:41:58
Speaker
interested in growth and involvement of their soul, and they're just staying the exact same. If you're someone here, you are on a spiritual path, like you are on the growth path. You want to move into your highest involvement. You want to connect with your highest self.
00:42:11
Speaker
If your partner isn't on that same page and it can look very different, it doesn't have to look like stereotypical spiritualness. But if they're not someone who also has goals and wants to move forward, then there could be a time where you guys part ways because it's just you've already received what you need from the relationship. So it's okay to move on, you know, and it could be amicable.
00:42:33
Speaker
And then there's times where things can get very toxic because we cannot predict the future. Like you might fall in love with somebody now and like, yeah, everything is aligned, but then who's to say what's going to happen 10 years down the road? It might become toxic. It might become abusive. And then that would be a reason to leave this person. So marriage doesn't protect you from any of those things. Marriage is
00:42:55
Speaker
a construct that our society puts a lot of value into and it makes a lot of people feel very bad about themselves when they're not getting proposed to or they're not getting the ring, they're not getting married. It's like, why is that the goal? If you guys are in a committed relationship and things are going great, what is this marriage going to do to it?
00:43:20
Speaker
you know, besides kind of add more pressure. And if you're somebody who really is excited to get married, maybe you are married, you love being married, that is perfect. But I'm just talking to the people who are putting their worth tied up around getting the rank, around getting married. That's all they can think about.
00:43:42
Speaker
Again, if you are someone who's listening to this podcast, I know that's not all you think about because you're someone who's interested in purpose. And so I know you're on the purpose path, so that's not you. But if maybe you know people in your life that like, oh my God, they're just obsessed with getting married and it creates division in their relationship because they're so upset that they're not getting proposed to. It's like, that's sad. That shouldn't be a thing.
00:44:06
Speaker
It's a human thing. It's not a spiritual thing. It's not a God thing. It's a human thing that we've constructed. Sorry, that was my little tangent of notes that I wrote down of channeled things about love. But anyways, so like I was saying, those are the reasons why I feel like we started off on a really good foot because we had a lot of boundaries. We had a lot of trust with each other.
00:44:36
Speaker
Now, like I said, when I first got into the relationship, I didn't, I wasn't on my spiritual path. I wasn't really doing any internal work. And so I would have a lot of jealousy come up. I would have a lot of agitation. Again, these are like my shadows in my Venus sequence, agitation, weakness, fantasy, impatience, force, inadequacy.
Healing Past Wounds
00:45:01
Speaker
So all of those would come up all of the time and
00:45:06
Speaker
I remember a very specific time. I think we were dating for like a year and a half already. And we lived together, met an apartment together, and he wanted to go play basketball with his friends. He loved basketball. And I was so upset. I was like, why all of a sudden does he want to go play basketball with his friends? And I started creating these stories in my mind of like, oh, he must be wanting to go do something else. Like they're probably not really playing basketball. They're probably like,
00:45:30
Speaker
I don't know, like going to talk to girls or it was just like so stupid. But in the moment I was extremely upset and I was like having a meltdown and he was just like, what is going on? And so he, so we got in an argument and he did end up going to play basketball and
00:45:45
Speaker
That reopened so many wounds of my past relationships where I was lied to, where I was told, oh, I'm going to go here and hang out with the guys. And really, I was getting cheated on or really he was doing something else. And so there can be so many old past experiences that we have not healed from past relationships that are going to come into this new relationship if we don't heal that old karma. Because
00:46:14
Speaker
Karma is now being created in this relationship because some past wound that I had from a past relationship, which has nothing to do with this relationship, I was triggered. I brought that into here and now I'm creating this argument and this really big meltdown in this new relationship, which is creating a weird dynamic for a moment because I didn't heal this old pattern.
00:46:38
Speaker
which has nothing to do with this relationship. I was never cheated on in this relationship. He's never showed me any signs of having to be worried. But for some reason, I'm carrying this through. And so that's why it's so important to do the inner work to see what are our triggers and why are we being triggered. And then having a partner that you can talk to and share these things with, share it, maybe not in the moment of being triggered, but later on talk it through.
00:47:03
Speaker
so that they can come and give you the reassurance that you need, which is very healthy, to move forward in this relationship knowing you don't have anything to worry about. Because it is very helpful for our partners to give us that reassurance, even though it is an inside job to heal these wounds that we have. So that's a little side note. But since I then went on my journey of healing myself, learning more about myself, I was able to be stable in myself. And so
00:47:38
Speaker
I think I've talked about this in a past episode, but I have more of an anxious attachment style. And so it's that fear of being abandoned. It's that fear of not wanting to get in a fight because I would feel like, I honestly, you guys used to feel like anytime we would get into a dumb argument, I felt like I was going to get broken up with, which is ridiculous over how dumb these arguments are or disagreements even. I wouldn't even want to have a disagreement or speak my truth because I felt like I was going to be abandoned and broken up with.
00:48:08
Speaker
arguments were really hard for me because George is someone who needs alone time. He has more of an avoidance attachment style. He likes to withdraw and be by himself. I want to and like needy and like want to fix it, write them in there. And so it creates this like horrible feeling.
00:48:25
Speaker
And I've really seen over the years for our relationship that has been healed so much because now it's like, okay, like, wow, we're getting into argument. I know we're not going to break up about it. Um, and I'm even so disattached in a healthy way that if we were to ever break up, I know that I would be okay. Um, and why I say that is so healthy is because we should never be in a place where we're not speaking our truth or, um,
00:48:54
Speaker
really being ourselves or doing the things that we want to do because we're afraid that the other person might leave us. And so I feel like it's very, um, I feel like it's very healthy and I've had so much growth around being able to be like, okay, I am so unattached to the point to where if for whatever reason, if we do break up, I know that everything will be okay. It's going to be so horrible and like painful, but
00:49:24
Speaker
I don't need this person. It's like I'm choosing to be with this person. I'm choosing to be with this person every day. It's a conscious choice. I'm not stuck with this person. And so I don't need them. And that has taken a lot of pressure off of the anxious attachment style because it's like
00:49:44
Speaker
When you're like, oh, like I'm okay. I will be okay. It kind of allows me to get out of that Eden loop that I was talking about where we're like both triggering each other. I can like get out of it and then let time pass instead of forcing. Forcing is one of my biggest wins as well. Instead of forcing trying to fix things to be better, just like, okay, giving it space, giving us time to like rest. And like, even if it's only like 20 minutes, that used to be really hard for me in the past, which is just so funny.
00:50:12
Speaker
but being like, okay, it's going to be okay. And then learning how to soothe myself. That's something I love about the Venus sequence is like when we're feeling a trigger and relationships are our biggest trigger, which is why I'm obsessed with the sequence. And even if you're single, you can use your relationship with your mom, with your dad, with your best friend, with your brother, your sister, your kids, your best friend, whoever
00:50:37
Speaker
like your closest relationships are, you can use this sequence to look at your shadows and gifts. But it's so cool because when I realized that
00:50:53
Speaker
Oh my goodness. I'm sorry. I completely just forgot my train of thought, but it's so cool. I'll just take it somewhere else. It's so cool because when we're able to use this sequence and realize that, oh yeah, when our biggest triggers are happening, like when we're feeling like so hurt, so deeply upset, that is just a part of our inner child. It's either going to be someone, it's either going to be a stage from being born to seven years old, seven to 14 years old, or 14 to 21 years old.
00:51:23
Speaker
So those are the three seven year cycles where we created these patterns of mental, emotional, and spiritual IQs.
00:51:32
Speaker
you're feeling deeply triggered, if you can just feel into that and just know that that's just a part of you that is feeling so alone, so not heard, so misunderstood, so abandoned, so rejected, just so deeply hurt. And if you can sit with that and allow that pain to transmute itself and just be curious, like what is this showing me? Like where
00:51:57
Speaker
is this stemming from? Where have I felt this before?
Gene Keys and Self-Understanding
00:52:00
Speaker
And if you can just do that inner work to just sit with that feeling and not grab the phone, not go on social media, not start eating, not grab a snack, not watch Netflix, not call a friend, not distract yourself, but actually try to sit in that feeling, that is how we heal these wounds. And then they literally will become released out of us. It's kind of like little
00:52:28
Speaker
What book did I read this from? Oh my goodness. I can't remember the name of the book, but it's basically like when we have traumatic experiences or even from past lives or just things that have happened to us, they create this little, like you can think of just like a little energetic bubble like inside of your body and it just stays there.
00:52:45
Speaker
And when you're being retriggered, you're like going into this bubble, right? And if you can just sit with it, let the feeling pass, it will pop and it will leave you forever. And you won't have to keep like revisiting that. But when we are experiencing that pain from that trigger and we distract ourselves instead of going into it, even if it's just for like two minutes feeling it, it's not going to pop. It's going to stay in there. And so we're going to keep going through different new experiences, which are just going to keep
00:53:15
Speaker
bringing that pain of that bubble up until we're able to sit in it and release it. And that is also how we're kind of able to go into these like gift frequencies because we're all meant to thrive in relationships. We're all meant to have very loving and
00:53:31
Speaker
healthy relationships. Not to say we're not going to argue or have disagreements, but it's going to be based on peace, respect, love, communication, kindness, trust, consideration, sacrifice. Those are all words that
00:53:50
Speaker
are going to be in a healthy relationship. And my frequency states that I would love to say are awakening, tenderness, emanation, timelessness, majesty, wisdom. Like imagine that in a relationship. Those are my highest frequencies and I would love to know what yours are. So if you look at your, just take a drink of water.
00:54:22
Speaker
If you look at your jinkies profile, look at the Venus sequence, close your eyes. Well, don't close your eyes because you're going to read them, but just say, wow, imagine my relationship and read your city frequencies out loud. Imagine my relationships are all based on the essence of awakening, tenderness, emanation, timelessness, majesty, wisdom. Like how beautiful is that? That just feels so good.
00:54:52
Speaker
So yeah, so I hope that was helpful. So I feel like that's kind of like, so I feel like that's how our relationship has progressed. So yeah, it was based off of like trust, mutual respect. There was a very clear indicator of when the relationship started. He took me on a date and then he asked me, will you be my girlfriend?
00:55:19
Speaker
So I knew exactly like, yes, I will be your girlfriend. Like there was a clear beginning to the relationship. I was not wondering. I wasn't confused. I didn't have to ask. I wasn't in this like state of limbo. I always knew exactly what was going on. We had very clear boundaries from the beginning that, you know, he did not want to partner.
00:55:38
Speaker
that party. He did not want a partner that drank. He did not want a partner that went to bars, clubs. I said, amazing. I've been searching for a partner who is sober because I also want to be sober. I don't want to live this lifestyle anymore of partying. I had been praying to God, searching, searching for
00:55:57
Speaker
one cool person to show me that life could be so fun without drinking, and he is hilarious. He is so much fun. He's Pisces' son, and he has so much Pisces cancer in his chart, and so it really balances me out, all of my Capricorn seriousness. He's made me such a joy to be around. I've learned how to just be silly, have fun. I used to be so embarrassed to dance, and I used to be so in my head
00:56:27
Speaker
very Capricorn serious person. But just being in his presence, it helps me be so silly, so fun. He's got just like hilarious. And so we have a really solid, like beautiful relationship. And it was always built off of, like I said, these strong boundaries from the beginning. So we were never questioning like, is this okay? Like,
00:56:48
Speaker
Can I do this? It was very clear boundaries. And it was perfect for me. Those dynamics wouldn't be perfect for someone who loves to go out, who loves to have wine, who loves to drink with their friends and party. That obviously wouldn't be a perfect match. And so that brings me to my next thing of
00:57:12
Speaker
It's important when you're choosing a partner to choose a partner who aligns with your lifestyle. And again, I'm not a relationship expert, but this is just something channeled that I wrote down from the records that I think makes a lot of sense. So it's important to get with a partner or commit to a partner if you want to be in a committed relationship.
00:57:38
Speaker
who aligns with your lifestyle. So that means like if you are somebody who's like a homebody and you don't really like going out, it wouldn't make sense to choose a partner who loves going out.
00:57:52
Speaker
Maybe it would make sense for you actually, like, you know, opposites can attract, but it's more of like, how do you guys see yourself spending time together? Because if you're somebody who wants to spend a lot of time with your partner, it's important that you have a partner who also wants to spend a lot of time with you. If you're very independent and you like a lot of free space to go and do your own stuff, it's good that you have a partner who also likes to do that. That way it's just like equal vibes, equal time together.
00:58:19
Speaker
Neither one is better than the other. It's just finding someone who's on the same page. Also, I think it's very important, and I wrote this down, that if you are someone who doesn't drink, it really is so valuable to also have someone who doesn't drink. I've just seen it in so many different ways in my life and close people's lives to me.
00:58:39
Speaker
that it's so hard. Like if you're committed to an alcohol-free lifestyle and you're with somebody who really likes to drink, like it can work. Everything is possible, but that's not the highest timeline for you because it can just create so much, so many issues, resentment, tension. I would just highly recommend like going with someone who has the same
00:59:05
Speaker
I don't even know if that would be a value. It's just a choice, a lifestyle choice. I would never be interested in dating someone who smokes. I do not smoke, I'm not a smoker, cigarettes or weed, but I absolutely cannot date somebody or be in a long-term committed relationship with someone who smokes cigarettes. It's just disgusting to me and not even coming from a place of judgment. When I used to drink, I used to smoke cigarettes, but it's just so gross. It's just disgusting. I would not want that. I cannot imagine kissing somebody who's a smoker.
00:59:36
Speaker
Um, and these are all just like things that can be boundaries because if somebody's a smoker, they're not necessarily going to quit smoking for somebody. You know what I mean? I mean, maybe they can like I quit drinking, but it's because I already wanted to. So that was already on my highest timeline. Um, so just think about these little things, like little practical things that maybe we don't think about all the time. And then, um,
01:00:03
Speaker
Yeah. And then also I wrote down that we don't have to have the exact same interests as our partner to make it work. But I think what's important and what's been really important in our relationship is me and George have things that we really like to do together. And then we really have fun doing, we really agree on. And then we're both very independent. We're both single definition in our human designs. And so we don't need another person.
01:00:25
Speaker
And so he's good to go do his own stuff, to work on his business. I like to work on my podcast. I like to work on my business. He likes to play video games. I like to channel, do Oracle cards, all of the fun stuff I like to do. We both have our own shows we like to watch, and then we both have shows that we like to come together. And I've never had that in the past. I've always been in very... Shit, the word is escaping me.
01:00:54
Speaker
where it's like you're really attached to the person, but it's unhealthy. Codependent. I've always been in very codependent relationships where it's hard for me to let the other person do his own thing and for me to do my own thing.
01:01:12
Speaker
I could not enjoy myself in peace and quiet. I could not just be at home by myself and be happy. I was extremely depressed, anxious as hell. I would have fear of missing out. I was always like, oh my God, I wonder what they're doing. And I could never just have peace. And that's one of the best things in my relationship is that I have 100% peace. I am so at peace even when I'm by myself because I fully trust my partner and
01:01:40
Speaker
I trust that. Hey, and this is not coming from certainty because anything can happen. But I know that if anything does happen, I will be okay. And so that's where that piece comes from. It's not from certainty. It's not from knowing. It's just that, hey, I release
01:01:56
Speaker
everything. I have full trust and I am at peace. And I'm also at peace with myself because I've done the inner work to work on my healing and to really enjoy alone time. Like I talk about all the time in my other episodes, I used to never like being alone. It was very difficult for me, but now I freaking love it. So yeah,
01:02:20
Speaker
I just wrote down like healthy is like it feels totally neutral when they go do their own thing when they go with friends. Not healthy would be like always worried about what they're doing when you're not there or worried that they'll like your friends more than you or being extremely jealous and like seeing them like check out other people all the time. Like me and George can both agree when we see like a really beautiful woman but it's like in the past my exes always like made me feel very bad and would like
01:02:49
Speaker
Um, like check out other people in front of me, but to a way where it's like really rude and I had like really bad insecurity issues. So it just made me feel like shit all the time. And I don't have to feel that anymore. I also have a partner who makes me feel, oh, this is a good one. You guys having a partner who makes you feel very sexy and hot, like.
01:03:08
Speaker
Every day, like, so many times a day, George tells me how hot I am, like, he'll smack my ass, like, and sorry if that's TMI, but he just, like, thinks I'm so hot. And I feel like he's so hot. And I always tell him how hot he is. And there's so much passion there. And even though we've been together for going on eight years, we still keep the passion alive, which there has been times where we've been in ruts where it's like,
01:03:32
Speaker
not passionate and it's like a roommate style, but then we learn how to get back to it and you have to keep getting back to it.
01:03:39
Speaker
Otherwise, that is, I think, how people fall out of love because sex is so important and having passion and just genuinely thinking each other are so sexy and really building each other up and making them feel like the hottest, sexiest, handsomest person in the world is so important.
01:04:03
Speaker
I feel so good about myself all the time because of my own inner work, but also my partner makes me feel so good, so wanted. And so if your partner isn't making you feel like the hottest bitch in the world, that's something that you can talk to them about. Because not everybody's love language is like words of affirmation or physical touch.
01:04:26
Speaker
but those things are extremely important to everyone. Like you want to feel like the hottest bitch in the fricking relationship. So I think that's something that has really served us is like,
01:04:36
Speaker
Yeah, it's very important. Let me see if I have any other notes. So yeah, so that's just kind of like a little, that's just kind of what wanting to come through on love and relationships. That was a little bit all over the place, but I'm gonna think about what to title this so it makes sense. But yeah, at least I kind of showed you like how some of my, like my core wound of inadequacy kind of like showed up through all my little like relationships.
01:05:02
Speaker
and how I kept attracting these like patterns of you know guys just like choosing to like my friends or not choosing me and always feeling like I was inadequate or not the one being chosen.
Collaboration on Venus Sequence Workshop
01:05:15
Speaker
And now in my relationship I just feel like so chosen every single day I feel like
01:05:22
Speaker
passion. I feel like I don't have to worry about it. I feel like the most important person in this relationship to my partner. And they're the most important person to me. And so it's just so important, I think. And yeah, so I'm, I would love to know like,
01:05:40
Speaker
If you're single or in a committed relationship, I would love to know if any of these like personal insights helped you. They're not really tips, but it's just kind of like what came through to me. And oh, the other cool thing.
01:05:54
Speaker
that I wanted to announce is that I am going to be collaborating with a super cool person. I'm not really going to announce the exact details yet because they haven't announced it to their audience, but I am going to be doing something in somebody's membership and I'm going to be leading them through the Venus sequence and it's going to be on the week of
01:06:21
Speaker
February 14th, so Valentine's Day, which is why I wanted to talk about this today. But I'm going to be leading a workshop all about the Venus Sequence and how exactly you can print out your profile ahead of time. I'm going to walk you through the sequence so you can learn how are you attracting the people in your life? Is it coming from a shadow frequency or is it coming from the gift or city-state? Are you having the same pattern show up? We're going to talk about
01:06:47
Speaker
your mental, emotional, and spiritual IQs in relationships. And we're also going to talk about how to turn your biggest core wound into your vocation. And so that's going to be super, super fun. So just keep a lookout on my Instagram stories. I think she's going to have all the graphics and everything done next week. So we'll probably start promoting that like a month in advance. Oh, it's exactly one month away today because right now it's the 14th. So yay. So yeah, it's going to be set for
01:07:13
Speaker
Monday the 12th and you can sign up by, um, I'll, I'll just talk about the details later. Sorry. I think I'm getting like a little ahead of myself, but the other coolest shit you guys said I want to say is that I have really been staying off Instagram and taking a huge break of just listening to my generator responses, like only doing things that really light me up, focusing hardcore on my like healing, um, opening my Akashic records, doing all of my like nighttime skin routine, doing my acupuncture mat,
01:07:43
Speaker
breathwork, sleeping a lot, moving my body. I haven't been back to the gym, but I just bought a new membership literally last week. I am a little nervous to go because of COVID, which is another topic. But
01:07:59
Speaker
Yeah, but I'm excited that I got my membership updated. And I've just been doing I've been literally responding to things. And look at this opportunity that came to work with this person, you know, like my gut responded to that. And then now I'm going to be doing a masterclass for her community. I'm so frickin excited. And so like, following our design is when these aligned things come to pass. We don't have to constantly be showing up on social medias, like
01:08:26
Speaker
forcing things or creating content that doesn't hit just because we feel like people are going to forget about us. I still have the exact same people listening to my... Obviously, I don't know who listens to my podcast, but I can see numbers and I have the same exact people showing up week after week and I'm not even promoting this on my Instagram. I'm not even talking about the podcast or I used to show weekly like, oh, the podcast is up and put a link up there, but I haven't been doing that and the same people are listening.
01:08:56
Speaker
That just shows that our people will find us, they will stay with us. We're not going to be forgotten about.
Conclusion and Listener Gratitude
01:09:04
Speaker
We don't have to show up on social media. I am going to be going on social media again because I'm creating really aligned content and I'm excited to show up. If you do follow me, you'll be seeing that I've been showing up recently like yesterday and today again, just because I'm so excited and I had such a great break.
01:09:20
Speaker
Just wanted to say that, following my generator responses, only doing what I want. And girl, it feels so good. So that's a little life update. So look out for those announcements so that you can join her membership and come to the workshop. If you want to get Jean Key's reading,
01:09:40
Speaker
The link is in my bio. I'll also put a link in the show notes below. You can do a purpose activation, love and relationships activation, or we can do your pearl sequence, which is all about how to find financial prosperity in your business. So it doesn't matter what stage of you are on your journey. If you are just starting out, or if you're kind of like a little unclear about your purpose, do the genus sequence so that we can look at what your freaking purpose is so that you can start
01:10:07
Speaker
getting on fire with that. Um, if you're more in like wanting to learn about love and relationships, maybe you're like in a relationship that needs work or you just want to like heal some inner child stuff, do the Venus sequence. That is life changing. And if you are an entrepreneur or a coach or if you have certifications and you're not really sure like where to go in the business or you feel stuck stagnant, do the Pearl sequence reading because you will learn exactly
01:10:36
Speaker
how to do your life's work. You're going to learn how to attract your culture, so like how to attract your people and what is keeping them repelled from you. You'll learn about branding, how your voice messaging should be, and you'll also learn about money, like how you're here to like use money. And also you'll learn like even something down is something down so specific as like what size of audience you're here to like work with.
01:10:59
Speaker
For me, as the individual, some people are really good with groups, small groups. Some people are really good with big audiences. Some people are here to move massive global impact. What's very helpful about that is if you think that you have to have a global movement or change the world, but you're not actually designed to do that. You're actually designed to thrive on an individual level.
01:11:23
Speaker
you might be holding yourself back or putting too much expectations on yourself and feel like gross and yucky. So learning these things about you is going to be so impactful to just get back on track. Like for me, I used to think that, oh, I have to like help so many people and I need to like transform others. And it's like, no girl, I just need to transform myself and show it for myself. You guys know what's crazy? Sorry, this is like really on point.
01:11:48
Speaker
When I opened up the records, I asked, what should I talk about on my podcast today? What will be in the highest good for my listeners? And it said, this is the message I got, it's not about them. Well, it is about them, but it's about you and what you want to talk about that will make you magnetic and make them interested.
01:12:08
Speaker
love and relationships, how to have a healthy relationship is what came out. So I'm like, Oh my God. It always just reaffirms that like, I don't have to try to be like, Oh my God, like how can I help others? Like, how can I transform them? I just have to worry about myself and what makes me really freaking excited. And that's for like the dynamism. I never had to know how to say this word.
01:12:32
Speaker
dynamism. Being dynamic basically is like a gift of mine. That's my culture and that's how I'm attracting my people is like from being dynamic. So if I'm trying to talk about something that like I'm not interested in, it's going to be boring. It's going to fall flat.
01:12:46
Speaker
knowing that about myself has been life-changing. So if you want to learn about you, the link is in my bio. You can send me a DM if you want to just talk about which one would be best for you. Literally any of them would be great. If you want to do all of them, start in order and start with the genius sequence. So yay, thank you so much for listening. I hope you have the absolute best week. Oh, it's 1-12-12. Awesome. On the clock. I pray that this
01:13:14
Speaker
episode made sense. And for you, real ones, I think it will. Okay. I love you guys. Have the best week ever. And I'll see you next week.
01:13:26
Speaker
Thank you so much for being here and listening beauty. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave a review and share the episode with a friend who you know will love it. We can connect further on Instagram at I am Alyssa Mae. So come say hello, leave a comment of your favorite takeaway on my most recent post, and I cannot wait to connect. Thank you so much and I will see you next time.