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Mothers (feat. Rae Ann)
96 Plays2 years ago
In this series, we are digging deeper into current and potential motherhood. We are peaking through the eyes of several different women, all in different life stages. In this episode, we are interviewing Rae Ann!
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Transcript
Introduction to Rayanne
00:00:40
Speaker
Welcome, welcome, welcome, beautiful people. Welcome, pioneers. Season two, through the eyes of women, motherhood. And I don't know about you guys, but I have just been blessed to hear all of these women talk about motherhood and get down to the nitty gritty of it. And today we have Rayanne here. Rayanne, tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, good morning. Oh my goodness. Well, I am.
00:01:09
Speaker
a mother of one beautiful daughter, married to the man of my dreams and just living life for Christ the best way I can just like the rest of us. So yeah, yeah, it's great.
Challenges and Responsibilities of Motherhood
00:01:25
Speaker
So first question, what is motherhood?
00:01:30
Speaker
Oh gosh. Well, not anything that I was anticipating, that's for sure. Motherhood is one of the biggest honors and one of the hardest jobs I think we as women will ever do, but it is so rewarding and so life-giving.
00:01:55
Speaker
But yeah, it's just a continuous journey. And whether your child is newborn or an adult, it's always a responsibility that you'll have. And it's wonderful and amazing. What are some generalizations about motherhood that need to be shut down?
00:02:20
Speaker
I think one of the things that breaks my heart the most is when I hear a mother say who doesn't have a job outside of her home, that she's a stay at home mom, that she might say, oh, I just stay home with my kids. Oh, my goodness.
00:02:38
Speaker
Being a mom, whether you work or, you know, outside of your home or not, it's a ministry. You're helping to form these little ones into people who love and serve God and others. And it's a responsibility that should not be taken lightly, in my opinion. So true. It is motherhood challenging and why?
00:03:01
Speaker
It is challenging. My daughter is grown now and I still think of, gosh, did I mess this up or how did I have done this better?
00:03:20
Speaker
when she was little. And even now, she just challenged me to be better. She challenged me outside of the box. And just remembering that not to compare yourself with other moms, I think, was another big challenge for me. But yeah, it is challenging. But again, so rewarding. So rewarding.
Impact of Personal Experiences on Motherhood
00:03:45
Speaker
Is your mother in your life, and how has that affected your motherhood?
00:03:50
Speaker
Well, my mother actually died when I was 12. She died of cancer. But God and his amazingness brought in a wonderful woman into my dad's life. And she has been my stepmother since I was 14. So I consider her my mom. And she just is one of those people who
00:04:19
Speaker
She's always cheering you on. So with our blended family, I'm one of eight. So. Oh, wow. Yeah. So she just she was always our biggest cheerleader. And I was just so grateful for for God. I must be honest in saying I wasn't grateful at the time because, you know, I'm a teenager is hard anyway. And losing your mom at such a
00:04:46
Speaker
Gosh, such a crazy time of your life. I was kind of an angry, angry kid, but she just loved me through the whole thing. And she has just taught me to look at life with more fun. And yeah, like I said, just my biggest cheerleader. Was being a mom your plan or was it God's? That is an excellent question.
Pregnancy Reflections
00:05:15
Speaker
I always wanted to be a mom and I think it happened sooner than I thought it would. But yes, I think it was definitely God's plan for sure. Was pregnancy hard for you?
00:05:31
Speaker
No. And I often find myself feeling kind of guilty about that. I never felt better in my life. I know. I was probably a tiny bit sick one day early on. But other than that, I felt so good. So good. That's crazy. I know. It is. How did it change your body temporarily?
00:05:57
Speaker
Um, well, let's see. I, I gained 40 pounds. Oh, wow. Yes. So I ate all the banana splits. Didn't think at all about what I was, you know, I just wanted to eat and it was great. Um, so that was probably the biggest thing I gained a lot of weight. Um, but you know, I was feeding a baby in my, in my thoughts.
00:06:27
Speaker
How did it change your body permanently? Well, because of that, I have some stretch marks. And I'm okay with that. It's, it, to me, they're kind of like war stripes, you know, I was going through this thing and, and knew that I was growing this little person and, and I was going to do it. And they don't bother me at all.
00:06:54
Speaker
Have you ever miscarried or had a stillborn? And how did you get through that? Oh, goodness. Praise the Lord. I have not. And honestly, I don't know how I would get through something like that because I haven't experienced it. But boy, my heart goes out to women that have unfortunately, you know. Yeah. And it's yeah. So no, I have not. What do you wish you were told about pregnancy beforehand?
00:07:25
Speaker
Um, goodness. That's a great question. Um, I don't know if there would have been anything because my pregnancy was so easy. I think I heard a lot of negative things about, you know, back pain and being sick. And so, um, really, I don't, I, I was so incredibly blessed. So I don't think anything.
00:07:54
Speaker
What do you wish you were taught about motherhood beforehand?
Reality of Motherhood
00:07:59
Speaker
I wish I would have been told that just what a big heavy responsibility it was. It wasn't all about the cuteness of the baby and baby clothes and all of the warm snuggly things, but that it is a huge responsibility in raising a child.
Mother-Daughter Relationship
00:08:24
Speaker
Do you have a good slash close relationship with your daughter? I do. Yes, I absolutely do. We talk every day and she lives in town. So I'm so blessed for that. But yes, we are very, very close. When she was younger, what did she do that softened your heart?
00:08:44
Speaker
Oh my goodness. Okay, so I remember when she was about five, she got the chicken pox. And having, you know, a mom who died when I was 12, I didn't know if I had had the chicken pox, you know, my dad didn't remember. So we kind of walked into this not knowing. Well, I
00:09:04
Speaker
apparently hadn't because she gave me the chicken pox. It was so bad. Head to toe, every place you could think to have a chicken pox, that's where they were. And I remember laying on the couch one day and she just rubbed my head and said, I'm so sorry, mama. It's just like the cutest thing, yes, yeah. Oh my gosh. How did you deal with disobedience physically and emotionally?
00:09:34
Speaker
Oh boy. Well, do you remember when you were being disciplined by your mom or dad and they said, this hurts me more than it hurts you? That is 100% true. It's so heartbreaking when you have to discipline because they're sad and sad and all the things, but no, that's what we got to do. We got to discipline so that they,
00:10:01
Speaker
that's so that they can learn and and you know just yeah it it's physically i wouldn't say physically um but emotionally for sure it it was definitely hard on me yeah what were you trying to instill in your daughter um i
00:10:24
Speaker
I always wanted her to know Jesus and have a life with him and just be a good human. I wanted her to be respectful of others and kind. So yeah, just kindness and a life full of Jesus.
00:10:47
Speaker
What are some unspoken promises, principles, characteristics, et cetera, that you wanted her to grasp just by watching you? Oh, goodness. I wanted her to be a woman of prayer.
00:11:02
Speaker
So not being afraid to pray in front of her and praying the spirit in front of her. And teaching her how to pray. So being a woman of prayer is vital. Amen. Yes. How did you incorporate your walk with Christ into your parenting?
Balancing Life and Spirituality
00:11:26
Speaker
I pray for her every single day and my son-in-law. I share with them sometimes what I'm praying for them in hopes that it encourages them. Because who doesn't feel loved and valued when someone says, hey, I'm praying for you today? I'm like, thank you. Can you pray a little harder? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, so definitely just, yeah, I wanted to be
00:11:56
Speaker
Yeah, I just, I wanted them to know, I just wanted her to know that I'm always praying, always praying for her. How did you balance work, spouse, ministry, kids, and your own personal walk with God?
00:12:08
Speaker
Ooh, that's tricky. Well, I can tell you when she was young, it was difficult. But you know, God in His grace, He can just show you if you're open to it. So I did work full time when she was growing up.
00:12:28
Speaker
um just knowing that she was in good hands while I was working that that gave me a lot of peace and um coming home um just spending some quiet time in the car before you know I got back to her and just kind of recentering myself from my day so that I could be available to her yeah and um yeah so just just allowing God into that part of your life I think is super important
00:12:57
Speaker
What challenges did you have as the woman of the house and how did you overcome them?
Struggles with Control and Discipline
00:13:03
Speaker
Well, I can be a bit of a control freak. So when things didn't go according to my plan, it really made me step back and say, OK, well,
00:13:19
Speaker
I guess we're going to do this differently. And just remembering that I am not in control. So that was really hard for me. Really hard for me. Yeah. What fell through the cracks because of everything that happened on a daily basis? What area are you slacking in?
00:13:40
Speaker
Oh gosh, keeping up with the housework. Oh, yeah. It's it's hard. And even now, as you know, with my daughter ground, I still work full time and I do a lot of ministry work. Yeah. I find that keeping up with the house can be a bit of a challenge. You know, you got to do it. So you just got to figure it out. Yeah, honestly.
00:14:09
Speaker
Did you find yourself overcompensating in any reason for any way when she was younger? I think yes. Just because there were oftentimes, especially when I first went back to work after she was born, just feeling like I was failing her by working and not being a good mom.
00:14:33
Speaker
So, I was very hard on myself with that. And as she got older, you know, letting things slide a little bit, if, you know, just little things, but you cannot do that. That is not good. And it's, yeah, I would not recommend that at all. What did you do on the days you wanted to quit? Oh, goodness. Sometimes I would cry. I'm not going to lie. So, I would cry.
00:15:02
Speaker
But then if I was in a place that I could just get some worship music on, that's what I do. If it was in the middle of my day, maybe if I was at work, I would just quietly pray to myself and just recenter, just getting back to, OK, Lord, your word is true. Here we go. We're OK. It's in his strength anyway. It's not in our own.
00:15:33
Speaker
Who has helped support you through your journey as a mother? Oh, goodness. Well, my stepmom for sure. And a really good friend of mine, her name is Michelle. We have kids around the same age, and we worked together. So just encouraging one another in the hard things and celebrating together when things were good. So yeah. Give me one second.
00:16:02
Speaker
There we go. What is one thing you were told by your mother that you use often? Well.
00:16:14
Speaker
you know, my mom before she died, I mean, we didn't talk about kids much. Because I was a little, my stepmom, I just remember her saying, just don't ever stop loving them. Don't ever, don't ever stop loving them. Just love them at all. So that was really good advice. What is one thing you wish you were told by your mother or by your stepmom? Yeah, I wish.
00:16:44
Speaker
I wish that she would have told me to pray more. I wouldn't say she's a Christ follower. She believes in God for sure.
00:17:03
Speaker
but I just, I wasn't, she didn't instill in me how to pray. That was actually something that my mom taught me that I do remember as a little girl. We were in church all the time. So, but I wish I would have had a mom or a stepmom that had, you know, prayed me through the hard things. Yeah. What is one thing you want to tell other mothers?
Advice for Mothers
00:17:32
Speaker
never stop praying for you. The word tells us in first Thessalonians, I think it's 517 to never stop praying. So that would be the thing I would shout from the mountain top. No matter what life looks like, no matter what your child's life looks like, no matter if it's high or low, never stop praying. What do you tell your daughter often?
00:18:02
Speaker
Oh my goodness, daily I tell her I love her every single day and that I'm just so proud of her. I think it, first of all, it's so important for our kids to know that they're loved, not only by us, but by God and that we will love them through everything.
00:18:23
Speaker
that we're proud of them. Their accomplishments, we're proud of them through working through hard things. It just, in my opinion, it's so vital to let them know that we love them and that we are proud of them no matter what. What do you think needs to be talked about more as it pertains to motherhood?
00:18:48
Speaker
Oh gosh. I think just, and I, I've touched on this already, but just what a responsibility it is. Yeah. And, um, it's, it should not be taken lightly. It shouldn't be an impressive thing. It's, it's, it should be intentional, um, in, in raising our children to love and serve God and people.
00:19:17
Speaker
Very much so. Do you think there's a lack of mothers and why? Oh gosh. Do I think there's a lack of mothers? I would say probably not, but there could be a lack of godly mothers. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know why. I don't know if it's
00:19:41
Speaker
like a generational thing or, yeah, I don't know why for sure. Yeah. What is your hope for your future as a mother and your hope for your future as, well, give me one second, let me react to that question. What is your hope for your future as a mother and what is your hope for your kid?
00:20:04
Speaker
Oh, my future as a mother is to just continue to be an example of God's love to her. And my hope for her is that she would also be a godly example to her kids. Yeah. And then last two questions. What is something you have to say to this generation of women and mothers?
Advice for Fathers
00:20:31
Speaker
Um, well, never stop praying first, five 17, never stop praying. Um, and I would say get yourself around some other Godly women that are in the same season of life as you. It's, it's, uh, it's a heavy job and we need to support each other. We need to be able to lean on others. Um, and, and just be real, just be real with each other.
00:21:02
Speaker
What is something you have to say to this generation of men and fathers?
00:21:08
Speaker
I would say discipline and love. Teach your kids how to work hard and not give up. And again, just being a godly example to them. Our kids, they look to us. And if we're not living a life that we want them to live, how is that going to work? That's, in my opinion, you're going to be facing a battle every day.
00:21:37
Speaker
Well, with that, pioneers and beautiful people, that concludes the end of this episode. Rayann, thank you so much. It was so good. Guys, make sure you go like, follow, share, go to the Patreon, go to the website, and we'll catch you in the next and final two episodes with my mom. You guys have a wonderful day, and bye.
00:22:05
Speaker
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