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Fathers (feat. Aaron)
92 Plays2 years ago
In this series, we are digging deeper into current and potential fatherhood. We are peaking through the eyes of several different men, all in different life stages. In this episode, we are interviewing Aaron!
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Transcript
Introduction and Guest Background
00:00:41
Speaker
Welcome, welcome, welcome, beautiful people. Welcome, pioneers. We are in season three through the eyes of men's followers. And to just be able to hear all of these men talk about what bodybuilding is like together has just been genuinely amazing. And on here today, we have a different... Hello. Can you give us a little bit about yourselves?
00:01:06
Speaker
Yeah, so my name is Aaron Rivkin. I live in Spokane, Washington. I am the CEO of Ladder Coffee Roasters. And I have three beautiful kids and a beautiful wife, who I also believe is on this podcast. Yes. It's so good to have her on here. All righty.
Intimacy in Fatherhood
00:01:25
Speaker
First question, what is Robin Hood? Oh, man. Yeah.
00:01:35
Speaker
Fatherhood to me is intimacy. I think a lot of things that we do in life, we forget that intimacy should be a part of it. And so fatherhood to me is, there's a lot that's wrapped up into it, but I would say a lot of it is intimacy, learning how to, you know, just be intimate with your kids and learning how to love them and guide them, teach them on an intimate level. That is so great.
Misconceptions About Fatherhood
00:02:02
Speaker
What are some generalizations about fatherhood that need to be shut down? Yeah, I think that, you know, I think we can classify that as like parenting. When I, you know, when thinking about this question, being a dad is harder, being a parent is harder. Oftentimes, my wife and I talk about this, like, things are as hard as you make it. So like, if you think it's going to be, you know,
00:02:32
Speaker
My pastor always says, what you think about something is going to determine how you approach it. And if you think that fatherhood is going to be hard or that fatherhood, you're just going to be like your dad. That's how you're going to approach that role. And so I think those are probably two of the biggest is that it's going to be hard and I don't want to be like my dad or I want to be better than my dad.
00:02:56
Speaker
So however you think about something is going to determine how you approach it. And so those are, I would say, two of the biggest things that for me that, you know, I try to stop generalizing. And yes, yes, it's going to be hard and it's going to be fun. You know, yes, my father made mistakes, but yes, my father was a good man. And, you know, I'm going to take, you know, eat the meat out of the bones, you know.
Challenges and Rewards of Fatherhood
00:03:22
Speaker
Is it challenging and why?
00:03:26
Speaker
Fatherhood? Yeah, for sure. I think any good thing is challenging, right? Like if we want to grow and we want to cultivate a life of excellence, those things are going to be challenging. If you want to be a good dad, and I think that most of us men have the attitude of we want to be the best father we can for our children, then yeah, it's going to be challenging.
00:03:55
Speaker
And so, why is it challenging? Because kids are little sinners. You know, like, like, they're a mess. And I'm a mess. And when you put two things that are messy, things just, there's tyranny in it, you know. But yeah, I think that, you know, it's also a joy at the same time. And I think any good thing is challenging.
Influence of Aaron's Father
00:04:23
Speaker
Is your father in your life, and how has that affected your father? Yeah, for sure. My dad's played a huge role in my life. He's definitely been in it physically. He hasn't been in it emotionally my whole life. As I'm getting older, he's starting to kind of show some emotion. My dad growing up was very much, my mother, we live in a divorced home,
00:04:52
Speaker
you know, my mother raised me a little bit and then my dad raised me for most of my life. And you know, my dad always worked and the way that he showed love to us was he would buy us things. And so like he would be physically present but there was not a lot of emotional connection. But now that, you know, now that I have kids now, you know, he's definitely showing up more emotionally for sure, you know, in the past. And you know, the way that I would say, you know, I've gleaned from him as
00:05:23
Speaker
I've learned that showing love doesn't just mean I buy you everything you want, but also one of my love languages is gifts. Probably because of the way I was raised and my dad emotionally couldn't support me, but he could physically support me. And so that's another way I think that.
00:05:48
Speaker
I personally, you know, parent is I love giving my sons or my son and my daughters like good gifts, you know, and you know, but daddy doesn't love them. You know, just because I want to give them a gift, like daddy loves them so much that hey, like I was thinking about you, here's this thing and and so yeah, you know, my dad is is my dad did the best that he could do given the situation with, you know, their divorce and
00:06:15
Speaker
And yeah, it's been, you know, it's been encouraging to see my dad really step up as, you know, grandfather and, you know, dad to me now. So. Was being the dad your plan or was it God's plan? You know, I think I've always wanted to have kids.
00:06:36
Speaker
if we want to go biblical, you know, and be theologically correct. The Bible says be fruitful, multiply. So I think maybe yes is the answer to that question. Yes, it was my plan. Yes, it was God's plan.
Family Experiences and Emotional Bonding
00:06:51
Speaker
So, you know, yeah, being a parent, you know, is something I always wanted to do. I would say definitely
00:06:58
Speaker
For the self inhibition, you know, I don't want to be like my parents. I want to I want to be able to raise kids, right? But now, you know, looking at it, it's like I want to raise kids the way that God wants me to raise kids. Have you and your spouse ever had to deal with the miscarriage or stillbirth? How did you get through that? You know, we have lots of friends that have surrounded us that
00:07:24
Speaker
have dealt with that one very, very recently. We have not. The biggest thing that we dealt with was it took a little while for us to get pregnant. Not like terribly long, but you had those stories of like, oh, it took me, I got off birth control and I got pregnant the next day. That wasn't necessarily our story. It took, I think it was like six to eight months to get pregnant, but no,
00:07:54
Speaker
We definitely have some experience with friends having miscarriages, but not us personally. Do you have a good slash close relationship with your kids? Yeah, for sure. I would say that my son is definitely a momma's boy, but he likes to impress dad, which I think is just the natural characteristic of a boy.
00:08:17
Speaker
and boy and dad. But my daughter, she's definitely a little daddy's girl. She'll try to come to me when mom says no about something. So we have a three-month-old. So that one is non-expressive quite yet. But yeah, we definitely have a very intimate relationship, for sure. What do your kids do that soften your heart? Oh, my Lord.
00:08:48
Speaker
um you know the biggest thing is just like you know with Silas our son he's he's gonna be five in September um you know him and he's just so creative um and his heart is just so
00:09:06
Speaker
pure. You know, he right now he's physical therapy for mass motor skills. He just he's very tall and big for his age. And so he's a little he's a little clunky. So we're getting into some sport. But
00:09:23
Speaker
gross motor skills, not mass. So he's learning how to use his gross motor skills a little better. But at the end of his, at the end of his, his, you know, PT, he tells his doctor, Hey, my sister really loves these fruits next. Do you think I can really bring one home for her?
00:09:43
Speaker
And so he's just so kind and so sweet and so thoughtful. And then just the way that he's expressing himself a lot more and the things that he loves, like when he does something bad, he's not crying over because we disciplined him.
00:09:59
Speaker
He's crying over like, you know, he knows he did something wrong, and he'll talk about it. He goes, I really should have done this, this, and this. I knew I shouldn't have done that. It just really hurts me. And it's like, gosh, from a dad, it's like, that's a good thing for him to understand, his emotions that he
00:10:20
Speaker
I mean, for crying, he's five years old, and he can express his emotions more, more than I can at 31. And so like, just, you know, seeing him grow in that, and then I would say, you know, you know, with Hadley, she's gonna be three in May. She Yeah, I think one of the things that kind of just solves my heart with her is seeing her
00:10:44
Speaker
She's just so adventurous. She's just like her mom. Like, you know, my wife Katie is very much like outdoorsy. And, you know, just seeing her become like a little girl, you know, but still feisty enough to where she could, you know, beat someone up. But yeah, she just, she is, she can be sweet, but she can be feisty.
00:11:13
Speaker
How do you deal with disobedience physically and emotionally? This is
Instilling Values in Children
00:11:20
Speaker
something new that we're working through. Direct disobedience is a big deal in our house. If we ask you to do something and you directly disobey that thing,
00:11:31
Speaker
You know, we wrestled and we still wrestle with, you know, spankings, you know, not everything. And this is a thing I think with most parents is most parents is like, yep, I spank my kids no matter what it is. And for us, it's like, you know, we're a coaching household, I would say. We love coaching our kids in choosing the next right thing. We always tell our kids, like, you're a leader and we'll ask them what our leaders do. And they'll say the next right things and prefer others above themselves.
00:11:59
Speaker
And so, you know, physically, you know, we will swap butts, but it has to be, you know, it's mostly over. Big things. Yeah, big things, direct disobedience. You know, we won't say we don't hit because, you know, if we if we give them a spanking, you know, that's us hitting, you know. And so when we, you know, when we
00:12:26
Speaker
let's say, you know, Silas hits his sister, you know, we talked about why that's not okay. Yeah. You know, and then we'll, you know, we'll swap, he'll swap his butt if it's necessary. And then, and then we'll, we'll follow it up with, with letting them be in control of the situation and ask him, Hey, what did you do? And what, what do you think you can do better next time? So that way gets his, that way gets his thought process going. And, you know, as he gets older, he'll understand, okay, like, what did I do?
00:12:55
Speaker
And what can I do better next time to handle that better? You know, and that's going to be great for when he's a teenager, when he's an adult, you know, in his marriage and his relationships. What are you trying to, or what do you want to instill in your son? The biggest thing is Godliness for sure. I love, you know, with David in the Bible. He was a man after God's own heart, but boy was that dude a sinner.
00:13:24
Speaker
He messed up, he didn't always get it right, but yet it was the repentant heart that led him back to God. And so I would say the biggest thing is teaching him how to have repentance. When he messes up, I repent and I move on. And so I think the biggest thing is, yeah, is to carry a repentant heart and lead other people to Jesus. And what are you trying to or want to instill in your daughters?
00:13:51
Speaker
Yeah, I would honestly say it's the same exact thing. You know, with Syos, I want him to be a man. I want him to lead well in his family with Hadley. I want her to know that she, you know, with, I guess, her daughters, Hadley and Finley, I want them to know that they are daughters of the king, you know? And what is a daughter of a king? It's a princess. And she is, she's an heir, you know,
00:14:21
Speaker
of a king. So, you know, probably, you know, any dad is the protection side of things, but, but also like that she's that that they're strong, you know, that our girls are strong in the Lord that they don't have to take the BS from from anybody that they know what it looks like to find a man to treat them right. You know, to carry the culture of the Rivkin household, you know,
00:14:51
Speaker
family values and, you know, I think that the biggest thing that, you know, I guess one of the biggest things that we're trying to steal all of our kids is, you know, what, like, what are the Rivkins known for? And who we are. And so, yeah. What are some unspoken promises, principles, characteristics, et cetera, that you want them to grasp just by watching you? Great question.
00:15:21
Speaker
work ethic. We live in such a cultural moment that everything is handed to them. And my dad always said growing up, like, you work hard to play hard. Nothing is given to you. Yeah. And so I would say that's one of them is that I want them to see how hard we work. So that way we can have fun. You know, one of our one of our family values is the Rivkins are generous.
00:15:49
Speaker
And so definitely one of the things I want them to pick up on is, you know, how generous we are as a family, you know, without having to tell them, you know, hey, I mean, obviously it is one of our values. We do tell them the rooflings are generous. Hey, share your toys. But, you know, if, you know, we're walking down the street, want to buy someone food or whatever it is, you know,
00:16:11
Speaker
blessing someone. So I would say that's definitely one of them is teaching them to be generous and then work ethic for sure. Yeah. And then also just like to be all in and everything you do like we just we're all in, you know, everything we put our hand to we're not going to do anything happen. We're gonna run hard and we're gonna we're gonna, you know, run the race and train for the race and
00:16:41
Speaker
Yeah, nothing is above reproach. We're always going to do everything together as a family.
Balancing Life's Demands
00:16:48
Speaker
How do you incorporate your walk with Christ into your parenting? Great question. Discernment is a big deal, I would say. Discerning on, OK, is this a moment of discipline in parenting? Is this a moment of coaching in parenting?
00:17:11
Speaker
Yeah. Like, you know, I think I'm always inviting the Lord into that space. Like, Lord, like what, what would you do with this child right now? Cause I want to backhand them. But Lord, I know you have grace. So teach me. Um, so I would say, I would say the biggest thing is discernment, like, you know, uh, really discern the moment, what it really calls for, um, in parenting, um, and then kind of moving, moving off of that for sure, which, which then means I have a responsibility of being intimate with the Lord. Right. Like if I'm going to rely on my discernment,
00:17:41
Speaker
be out of my own discernment because my own discernment says smack the crap out of my kid when they're doing something wrong. Whereas the discernment of the Lord would be like, hey, you need to teach him because you're his teacher. And so learning what discernment is which, whether it's your own or if it's the Lord's discernment. I can't. Oh, so good.
00:18:09
Speaker
How do you balance work, spouse, ministry, kids, and your own personal walk with God? Yeah, we as a family, there's no such thing as balance. Balance is, I'm not sure if Katie told you this at all, but balance is a lie. You get to choose.
00:18:27
Speaker
You're going to choose how you invest your time and where you invest your time, you know. So I would say it's understanding, like, there's different seasons for different things. I'm going to be more busy at work during the holiday season, even though it's, you know, you would think it's more family time. Well, it's the busiest time of the year for our business.
00:18:47
Speaker
Um, so we have the understanding of, you know, we get to live life this way. Um, not everybody gets to be a business owner, uh, and we get that blessing. And so understanding then when it's not busy time for work, um, okay. Like we, we have, we have this time to now invest back into our family, uh, you know, uh, relationship with, with, with my wife, you know, we have a once a week date night, uh, mandatory thing, you know, things come up, but.
00:19:15
Speaker
Most of the time it's once a week, date nights. With our kids, we try to do bro dates and girl dates. We all take out one of the girls for a date, whatever she wants, and then same thing. And then we'll rotate between who goes out for the bro date or the girl date. That's so cool. What challenges do you have as the head of house and how do you overcome them?
00:19:43
Speaker
Yeah, I think the biggest thing is, I think any man wants to feel respected in his house. And so I would say that's like the biggest challenge because we're human, right? Like my wife is a saint, but she...
00:19:58
Speaker
she's also a human where she wants to feel in control and so which I totally understand you know but being the head of the household we have a responsibility to make ultimate decisions in our house and you know my wife does great at letting me make those decisions but sometimes it's rough to have conflict and conversations to where it's like hey like
00:20:18
Speaker
I'm putting my foot down on this thing. This is what we're doing. And it's not out of like, I'm trying to be over my wife. It's this is what I think is best for our family. And you know, submission, submission doesn't mean you have your thumb over your spouse, right? Or over your kids. It's, it's a submission is a prayerfully thought out decision that that
00:20:48
Speaker
you have to or yeah you have to like understand that there's thoughts and that there's
00:20:59
Speaker
that goes into making those decisions, especially when there's, you know, disagreements in those moments. And then also, too, I always say this to even to our staff at, you know, our team leads at work, and especially the wife, like, let me make the decision. And if it's wrong, I'll take the brunt of it. I'll take the blame. But if it's right, then we know that, like, we can trust that discernment. But if it's wrong, I'd rather be wrong than you be wrong, because I don't want to see you fall on your face.
00:21:29
Speaker
So I think that's also another, you know, another part of, you know, of being the head of the household is like, you know, you get to take most of the weight, you know, it's mostly it's everything. Most things fall on you and you have to have, you know, strong shoulders and strong knees to be firmly planted in the Lord to make those executive decisions. And when you do, if they fail, that's on you, you know.
00:21:59
Speaker
What falls through the cracks because of whatever is happening on a daily basis? What area are you slacking in? Personally or in parenting? Oh, all of the above. Yeah, I would say honestly, you know, working as hard as I am right now, one of the biggest things that I'm struggling with personally is just maintaining a healthy
00:22:22
Speaker
lifestyle when it comes to working out and eating and all that kind of stuff. It's just life is busy and you know that's not an excuse but I would say that's probably one of the biggest things for me personally and you know for us as a family I would say you know we're in a season where we're building this business and
00:22:41
Speaker
probably the biggest thing that falls through the cracks is just being maybe a little more intimate with, or a little more present, I should say, with everybody in our house being in the moment. Because data comes home at four o'clock, five o'clock, and I'm just dead tired from the day. It's really easy just to hop on my phone, disengage. And so learning how to put that sucker down, even if it was for five minutes.
00:23:06
Speaker
We do have a kind of a rule in place. Like if, if, if I, or, you know, Katie needs to disengage for 10 minutes, I'll go downstairs and, you know, I'll, I'll hug the kids. You know, I'll tell them, Hey dad, I'll be back. I'm going to go downstairs for 10 minutes and I'll be back. And just having a reset to reset my home to know, okay, I'm not CEO. I'm not boss. You know, I'm dad or I'm husband now. You're still good.
00:23:33
Speaker
Do you find yourself overcompensating in any way for any reason?
Perseverance Through Faith
00:23:38
Speaker
I think that's a natural thing for anybody. When you feel any sort of pressure or insecurity, overcompensating is definitely the easiest thing to do. And so for sure, I think that overcompensation can happen in
00:24:01
Speaker
and parenting could happen in, you know, in your marriage. I'm making this decision regarding this ball block or go to your room. You know, you threw a ball outside, even though that's where you're supposed to throw balls, you know, like, yeah. And so I would say that overcompensation comes from insecurities. Yeah. And so I think, yeah, definitely have definitely have times of overcompensation, for sure. What do you do on the day? Do you want to quit?
00:24:32
Speaker
Great question. Yeah. That's a heavy question because, you know, during the pandemic was really hard. I wanted to quit a lot of things, you know, and it was it was really difficult to get to that season.
00:24:54
Speaker
But honestly, what I would say is the night's gonna come. I'm gonna fall asleep and tomorrow we'll be there. I don't have a dying sickness. I don't have cancer. I'm not gonna lose my household.
00:25:11
Speaker
tomorrow's still gonna come and so just kind of remembering remembering that and then you know the scripture you know that talks about you know the birds of the sky have what they need to eat like what what more don't you think your father in heaven is gonna take care of you you know so um yeah i would say you know leaning on that just remembering today is gonna end you know like i'm gonna fall asleep i'm gonna wake up and tomorrow's coming um and then also too remembering that like
00:25:39
Speaker
that it's just a season. Yes, it sucks. Yes, this season in parenting is terrible. And my son is disobedient. And my daughter screams at anything and everything. But in two years, a year, it's going to be a whole different story. We're not stuck in today forever. And so having the acknowledgment of that, that today is just today. And it's going to end.
00:26:08
Speaker
Who has helped support you through your journey as a father? I would say my wife has played a pretty big role in that. Again, I love my father. He's definitely a big inspiration to me, what it looks like to work hard to take care of his family. But I definitely have mentors growing up that showed me what fatherhood looks like, how to love someone well.
00:26:36
Speaker
I think of Gabe Sabarzo, who's a pastor friend of mine. He's great. He was kind of like older brother, but more so dad. I think of his dad, Tio Ray, which was, you know, he was a huge inspiration. I just watched him how he loved his kids.
00:27:00
Speaker
you know, my pastor now, just the way that he parents, you know, I will call him and ask him questions about certain things. And so I definitely have an army surrounding me to ask questions and glean from for sure. Is a spiritual father as important as a biological or at home father? Oh yeah. I think that, you know, if you're not spiritually aligned with Christ,
00:27:29
Speaker
You can get through life. You can get you can get through the day-to-days. You can get through parenting Do I think you'll be as whole and complete and do I think that you'll raise as much of a mighty man? Probably not You know scripture calls us mighty men of valor and I think that part of that is Okay, well, how do we how do we get the valor, you know and part of that comes from our fathers Then our fathers need to be
00:27:56
Speaker
full of valor, you know? And so, yeah, I would say it is. I would say it's the most important thing being scripturally aligned without a doubt. What do you wish you were told about fatherhood beforehand? Probably that you're going to get it wrong. Yeah.
00:28:22
Speaker
you know, everybody says it's hard, which in theory is probably, that's what they're saying, and you're gonna get it wrong. But I wish someone would have said, hey, like, you're gonna suck as a dad. You're not gonna always get it right. But tomorrow will still come, you know, like, train your kids the way the Lord, you know, and they will come back. And so, yeah, I don't know, I definitely feel like,
00:28:51
Speaker
being okay with hearing that would have been nice. But yeah, I guess the understanding of, you know, it's okay to not get it right. So good. What is one thing you wish you were told by your father?
Lessons from Aaron's Father
00:29:12
Speaker
Growing up, I love you for sure.
00:29:16
Speaker
My dad, again, was a very, he was very disconnected with his emotions. And so I never really heard, I love you. I always felt it by gifts. Growing up, I've heard my dad tell me he loves me more times than now as an adult than him or me as a child. I think that every son, every daughter needs to hear, I love you from their father. Because we're a direct representation of how Christ loves his church and how God loves
00:29:44
Speaker
And if they can feel that love on an intimate level physically, how much work it will be spiritually. What is one thing you were told by your father that you use often? That's a great question. Probably you never know who you're talking to. I'm a big networker because of that. I love talking to everybody and anybody.
00:30:13
Speaker
And so we know which has allowed me to be in positions of you know in rooms I never expected to be in like I just you know spoke at a college campus a couple weeks ago and you know was invited by the the business director of the school and yeah I would say you know yeah you never know who you're talking to you never know what influence that you may have on someone you never know what seed of leadership you're planting in someone and
00:30:41
Speaker
Yeah. Just, just understanding like, you know, the person you're talking to, you could be saving their life or, you know, you could be, you could be hurting them and you don't even know it. So it's just understanding kind of the balance between the two. Like, yeah, you never know who you're talking to. So make sure that, you know, you're, you're speaking life and you're, you're investing into people.
Advice to Fathers
00:31:01
Speaker
What is one thing you want to tell other fathers? Um,
00:31:14
Speaker
probably the biggest thing is like you're going to miss it. Yeah, you are you're not you're not always going to get it right. But if you focus on always not getting it right, that's the only thing that's going to happen. You know, when you don't get it right, we have responsibility of dads to repent. Yeah, it's not it's not I'm mad at my kid because he did this thing. It's okay. Now I messed up.
00:31:45
Speaker
I did this to my son, or I did this in the parenting that probably wasn't the best thing to do. Lord, I repent. And now I move on past it. And I learned a lesson so I would say yeah like hey like fathers like you are you are not always going to get it right. Understand that you're not going to get it right.
00:32:02
Speaker
But also when you do get it right, make sure that you have a repentant heart and then ask someone, you know, one of the biggest things I would tell most fathers, not most, all fathers is get a mentor. Find someone who is 10, 15 years ahead of you and learn and learn from them, glean from them. Hey, like, what do you do in this parent? What did you do when your kid was five years old and he smacked his sister? What did you do? You know, and then, uh,
00:32:31
Speaker
You know, also get some other, my pastor always says, be authentic with everybody, but be transparent with a few people. I'm not going to go out there and tell everybody, you know, Hey, this is how I messed up. And I did this to my son, or I did this to my daughter and I shouldn't have, I'm not going to tell everybody that, but I'm going to try to find a small group of people that I can be transparent with and say, Hey, I really, I really messed this one up. I really, I really got out of control.
00:32:58
Speaker
Um, and then that person that I'm going to be off that are transparent with, like that person needs to be spiritually aligned with you. So that way they can call you up, um, and not soak in your misery because most, most people just want to soak in the misery of things. They don't want to like help you come out of it. And so, yeah, definitely, uh, find a mentor older than you to talk about parenting, and then also find a small group of people that you trust and, and that you can be transparent with.
00:33:30
Speaker
So, so good. What do you tell your kids often?
Parenting Like Jesus
00:33:35
Speaker
I love you and that you're a leader. I can't, I want to come up with like 10 extra questions. What do you think needs to be talked about more as it pertains to fatherhood? I would say, um,
00:34:01
Speaker
probably the biggest thing would be how to how to love like Jesus did and I'm not talking about the Jesus holding a lamb with the golden hair because like we all like that Jesus because that Jesus is like live long and prosper bro like you're fine you can do all things through Christ who strengthen you and
00:34:27
Speaker
that's fine don't get me wrong like i love that jesus i love that side of jesus but also jesus was he's savage oh he was a yeah i think we did a uh i think we did a sermon series one time called savage Jesus and uh yeah homeboy knew how to throw down the hammer yeah you know you know he was never a father per se um but he had he had
00:34:53
Speaker
12 boys, you know, with him. And so he kind of I would assume acted like a father towards them. And so yeah, I mean, even like when the disciples were sleeping on the rock, he's like, what are you guys doing? Yeah, trust you. So like that, that savage Jesus, I would say, yeah, you know,
00:35:18
Speaker
Yeah, learning how to be like Jesus in both ways. Full of grace and love, full of tenacity to help see people to be better. Oh, so, so good. Do you think there's a lack of fathers and why?
Future Hopes and Responsibilities
00:35:36
Speaker
No, I don't think there's a lack of fathers. I think there's a lack of accountability. Jesus, just stop right there. I can't. I think that we have plenty of fathers.
00:35:47
Speaker
not a lot of the fathers are being accountable. And so I think that we see a lot, especially in the cultural moment. I mean, there's kids born every single day. There's fathers every day. But those fathers are not being held accountable to no one. They don't have pastors. They don't have mentors. They don't have friends that are helping them become better fathers. I would say we have a lack of accountability. We don't have a lack of fathers.
00:36:15
Speaker
Anybody can be a father. Well, not everybody can be a father, but we have tons of fathers. I would say that we just have a lack of accountability. What is your hope for your future as a father, and what is your hope for your kids? I feel like I've touched on it multiple times. As a father, I just want to know that I train them up in the ways of the Lord, and that through discipline, through loving them, through
00:36:44
Speaker
caring for them. It was, um, sought well, um, in the eyes of the Lord. Um, you know, then my hope, my hope for my kids are to, to see them do the same thing, to see them grow up, to see them love the Lord, to see them, um, become disciples of Jesus and helping others follow that same passion. Do you think this generation of fathers have things harder or easier than you have them?
00:37:15
Speaker
I don't think anything's changed. I think that we are made more aware of things because of social media, because of the internet, et cetera. If anything, we have more tools now to be a better dad than ever before. So for people to say they have it harder, I would completely disagree.
00:37:42
Speaker
Yeah, we have more books. We have more articles. We have more statistics. We have more pastors. We have more XYZ to be able to become better fathers than ever before. I think that again, it kind of goes back to the accountability side of things. I think that we have a generation. I think we have a hungry generation to seek truth.
00:38:07
Speaker
The problem is that they're seeking truth in books. They're seeking truth in articles. Those things are good things, but they're not the complete thing that will help them become a better father. I think ultimately studying scripture, how God intended fatherhood to look like. You know, there's a truth behind every question in scripture.
00:38:33
Speaker
You know, and if all we're doing is running towards the books or honestly if all we're doing is running towards Self-pity and fatherhood. I'm never father. I want to be I'm never gonna fall alone Well, why don't you grab your pants and your work boots strap up and go look in the freaking Bible? Because there's answers in there stop stop throwing a pity party and learn what it looks like to be a man. Yeah, you know, I think that that's probably one of the one of my biggest frustrations with any with any cultural moment right now is
00:39:00
Speaker
You know, it's not grab up your bootstraps and work hard. It's grab up your bootstraps and look. Because there's answers within scripture for everything. What is something that you have to say to this generation of men and fathers? You have a responsibility to do. Your responsibility is to parent well, is to
00:39:29
Speaker
train them up in the eyes of the Lord to seek wisdom and to invest fully into the spiritual formation of your child. It is your responsibility at this time from birth to 18 years old. It is your responsibility to train your kids in spiritual formation. They are gleaning after you. If anybody is going to teach them, the world is going to teach them everything. But if I can get to them before the world,
00:39:58
Speaker
My God. So what I would say is fathers need to understand the weight behind their impact on their kids. That you have all the authority to raise your kids. Because if you don't, society and culture will. If I'm going to let this cultural moment raise my kids. It's so, so good.
00:40:25
Speaker
What is something you have to say to this generation of women and mothers? Yeah, I would say it's the same thing. It's time to step up. It's time to understand that this cultural moment is full of lies more than ever before. And so what I would say to mothers and to women that are raising kids that may not be a biological mom,
00:40:55
Speaker
You have that same authority. You have the same righteousness. It is your responsibility to build the same spiritual formation. This is so good. I don't want to stop. Well, pioneers and beautiful people, that concludes this episode. And I have to say, after listening to both riffs and parrots, I don't know what kind of greatness is about to come out of that house, but I'm just saying.
00:41:24
Speaker
Oh, Jesus. But thank you so much for taking time out. It was so good. Pioneers, I hope you guys got something from this and you take this and you just transform your life, your community, and the world. And guys, go to the Patreon, go to the website, like, follow, share, make sure that you are getting in touch with us and engaged with us so we can keep giving you content like this. And with that, we say bye, pioneers, bye, beautiful people.
00:41:54
Speaker
So