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Upcoming Fathers (feat. Roshaun)
94 Plays2 years ago
In this series, we are digging deeper into current and potential fatherhood. We are peaking through the eyes of several different men, all in different life stages. In this episode, we are interviewing Roshaun!
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Transcript
Introduction to Fatherhood Season
00:00:41
Speaker
Welcome, welcome, welcome, beautiful people. Welcome, pioneers. We are in season three through the eyes of men, upcoming fathers. And it has just been awesome. We only have one left and we'll be done with upcoming fathers moving on to fatherhood. But today we have on here, we're showing off. Woo! What's up? What's up? We're showing, tell us a little bit about yourself.
Meet Rashawn Taylor
00:01:06
Speaker
Well, my name is Rashawn Taylor.
00:01:10
Speaker
Living in New Orleans, Louisiana. And yeah, I am a mechanical engineer at a place called Estory. And I'm a volunteer youth pastor. And so Shyla and I met. She came up, well, not up through to youth, but she came to our youth services. And we've been good friends ever since then. Oh my god, we're friends? You learn something new every day. I'm crying.
00:01:39
Speaker
Such an honor. All right. First question. Are you expecting a child or do you want one in the future? Well, I'm not expecting, but I do want one, two, maybe three in the future. That's a pretty quick. You said one, two, three. Are you going to keep going up? Oh, I can.
00:02:07
Speaker
And so I would always joke that I want a football team. Nothing. Yeah, I know that's not realistic. So a cap at five. Let's just say that. I have a friend who legit said she. So her answer was, I'm not going to put a number on it, but eight. And I was like, excuse me. Oh. Get out, ma'am. Yeah, I want kids, but that's a little too much there. Ooh.
00:02:36
Speaker
Are you married or dating? Neither at the moment, not married or dating. I was for sure you were going to say you're married. I was like, when was the wedding? Oh, no, child. Why are you doing like that? I'm not ready for that just yet. Look, I was in a relationship not too long ago. And let me tell you, it just reminded me. Yeah, it reminded me that I enjoy being single. Let me tell you that.
00:03:05
Speaker
It really, really be like that. I felt that one. Do you think you're ready to be a dad?
Ready for Fatherhood?
00:03:18
Speaker
Yeah, I would sound ready to be a dad. And so I already said that I volunteer as a youth pastor. And so I'm around kids a lot and I kind of grew up
00:03:28
Speaker
teaching and volunteering and mentoring people younger than me, kids, not just teenagers. And so being around them and being that person that they can look up to, it makes me feel like that I'm ready to be a father, someone that a child can depend on. What are you ready and prepared for as it pertains to fatherhood? Well, I'm ready to try to make
00:03:58
Speaker
raised my kids differently than my father raised me. Now he wasn't a terrible father but there are just some things that he did that I don't agree with and a lot of people won't necessarily agree with. And like a quick example I would always joke with people and like if I accidentally burp out loud I say oh I get to see how the other half live because growing up if I did that I automatically got punched in the chest so I would never
00:04:28
Speaker
burp in front of people. It's just a small example of some of the crazy things that would happen in fatherhood. So I'm definitely looking forward to that, to being different than what my father was. What are you unprepared for?
Parenting Style and Challenges
00:04:50
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:04:53
Speaker
So I just said, I enjoy being single and being alone. I know that that ain't going to happen when those little boogers are like running around, hey, can you hate that? No, no, no. Let me let me lay down to be a little lazy right quick, you know? So that'll probably be the biggest change that I'll have to make, you know, have to put myself aside to, you know, always be there for them. Yeah.
00:05:21
Speaker
You kind of touched on it a little bit, but is your dad in your life, and how do you think that will affect your fatherhood? Yeah, he's definitely in my life now. We don't communicate very, very often. But there's no hatred among us. I forgave him for everything that I've been through with him. So yeah. And like I said, and like you said, you already hit on it. The way that he brought me up
00:05:51
Speaker
is not the way that I want to bring my kids up. And so it's parenting style is something I want to counteract, you know, do something differently. Could you be a father to someone else's child?
Being a Father Figure
00:06:08
Speaker
I believe so. Now, you know, some of these kids be terrible. You know, you're talking about like playing stepdad, huh?
00:06:17
Speaker
Yeah, you know that little meme. You're not my dad. Shut up. Get on my face. I feel like I'll punch you. No, I'm kidding. I want to do that. But in the role that I'm in right now, I know that I can't fall to someone else's child. I mean, just the other day, oddly, but just the other day.
00:06:41
Speaker
Some kid was like, hey, you're my dad. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not. And settle down, son. But I know that the way that I can care for the younger people and the way that I carry myself out and want them to kind of walk in the ways that I walk in, I know that I can follow someone else's child.
00:07:08
Speaker
You have the spirit of a father on you too. And I've told you that before, but you really do have the spirit of a father on you. How would you handle the death, miscarriage, stillbirth, sins, et cetera, of your child?
Coping with Loss and Faith
00:07:24
Speaker
That'll definitely be tough because, well, first of all, I've never had anybody close to me pass away just yet. So I don't necessarily know that feeling, but I've walked through that with somebody.
00:07:38
Speaker
my old worship leader in college, once her child passed away, stillborn or something like that, she called me like we mourned together and I felt her pain. And so just through her pain, I can only imagine how I would go through that. So I don't really have the answer to that, but I know it'll definitely be hard. And as a Christian, they always tell us,
00:08:05
Speaker
You know, maybe God got a plan. I'll just hold on to God. And I know one of my favorite worship songs was Miracles. And that song was actually written after that worship pastor, Chris Colala, him and his wife had lost their child. And so, you know, he wrote that song by saying, God, I still believe in you. You're the God of miracles. That miracle didn't happen in that moment, but he still believed in God and believed what his plans were. So will I be that strong? I doubt it.
00:08:34
Speaker
But I'm going to have to continue to hold strong in that. So really, I don't know how I would handle it. All that said, I don't know how I would handle it. But I know that'd definitely be a little bit tough. Yeah. What traditions do you want to break with your kids?
Fostering Open Communication
00:08:52
Speaker
Traditions I want to break. Well, I definitely want them to know that they can come to me with whatever. I'm very sheltered.
00:09:03
Speaker
but I feel like I'm very sheltered because my father, all my parents didn't really make an environment of, hey, come to me when you're sad, come to me, you know, when you're broken and stuff like that. So that's a tradition that I want to like, well, that's leading to what's coming next. But yeah, I want to break that mentality of y'all got this, you know, I don't want to be the stereotypical Black parent. Well, oh, you're 18, all right.
00:09:33
Speaker
You did all right now. Go ahead. Go find your own house. You're on your own. I don't want to be that type of person. What traditions do you want to start? So yeah, I was kind of easing into that. What I want to start is letting them know that they can come to me with whatever is going on. If life is tough, I'm not going to turn my back on and say, well, toughen up if I have a boy. You're a man. You got this. Go through it.
00:10:01
Speaker
No, you know, I want them to know that they can come to me emotionally. We can work through those things together, you know, and also just let them live a little bit. You know, I talked about the craziness in my life, you know, can't burp in public. Not that I want to, but, you know, can't do things like that. I don't know, man. You're human. Things happen. So good.
00:10:30
Speaker
What is one thing you want your child to know you for? I want them to know me for somebody that's compassionate, somebody that's going to be there no matter what. You know, knowing that they can come to me and ask for things. You know, one thing that I know I got from my father, well, yeah, definitely from my father is like anger. And so,
00:10:58
Speaker
not really knowing how to handle certain situations if things come that I don't necessarily like or it could even be small things and then I would handle it wrong or he would handle it wrong. And so, you know, that's one thing I want them to know that I'm going to be there. I'm going to be compassionate. I'm going to walk you through whatever you need to walk through. And, you know, we're going to be great. Yeah.
00:11:28
Speaker
So good. What do you want to impart in your kids the most?
Values and Advice for Future Parents
00:11:35
Speaker
Well, mainly to have a relationship with God, you know, I want them to have that same faith that I have. Yeah. And to just grow up with someone that's respectful and all that. Um, you know, despite the culture that I grew up in and in the area,
00:11:56
Speaker
Um, my mom and even my father, they did everything that they can to make sure we grew up with, you know, manners. And so, yeah, I did have anger issues. Yeah. I did talk back to some people and lash out. But at the end of the day, when people see me and my brothers, they would always say, Hey, y'all parents like raised y'all. Well, you know, and so I want to impart that one to have good faith and another one to just be respectful of people. Yeah.
00:12:26
Speaker
What do you have to say to other upcoming fathers? Well, one, make sure you're ready to do it. Having a child is not just, you know, blinking and then a baby come out. Like you got to be mentally prepared, physically prepared. That's one of my favorite words.
00:12:50
Speaker
But yeah, mentally prepared, physically, emotionally prepared, and most importantly, financially prepared. You should know what you're getting yourself into. And so before you go in unprotected or planning to have a child, or even unplanning to do it, just make sure you're ready. Because if you grew up in a terrible situation, why would you want to bring a child into that situation that you currently have? Oh, Jesus.
00:13:20
Speaker
why don't you try to like fix what you have and then bring a child into a better situation than what you got going on so that's that's really it just make sure you're ready and like don't try to live out your shortcomings through your children you know with with sports my father really really wanted us to go far in sports that way he pushed us like
00:13:48
Speaker
way too hard, which I enjoyed. I admired it, but there was some points where like, and I shared with you before, but I was like beat because, you know, I wouldn't listen to him or do what he wanted me to do because I guess he wanted to, he wanted me to succeed in sports more than I did. At that time I was a little gang freak and he wanted me to be an athlete. And so I didn't jump to an athlete until high school. And so he was trying to impart that in me in middle school. And so,
00:14:17
Speaker
Let your kids live whenever you have them as well. Let them make their own decisions. So good. Bonus questions. Bonus. All right. What do you have to say to this generation of men and fathers? I kind of pick it back off what I was just talking about.
00:14:48
Speaker
First of all, work on yourself. Therapy's a thing. And I know a lot of people refuse therapy. Make sure you are good. And don't take all your anger out on your children, man. And don't try to repeat things that you didn't like your parents doing to you and then do it to your kids. Oh, that's so good.
00:15:16
Speaker
All right. And last question. What do you have to say to this generation of women and mothers? Please, please, please choose your baby, daddy, husband, whatever. Right. Because my goodness, people just be having babies with anybody and then they get mad and upset when
00:15:44
Speaker
When, uh, homie don't show up or provide like, kind of did that to yourself. I'm not just trying to throw women down. And like I say, we do is to make sure you're ready, wrap up. You're not ready, but yeah, choose your, your significant other, um, for qualities that you will believe will be a good father. Well, not even just a good father, a good husband, you know, so good.
Closing Thoughts and Gratitude
00:16:14
Speaker
Well, pioneers and beautiful people, with that, that concludes this episode. Thank you, Roshan, so much for being on here. It was a blast. And guys, if this blessed you in any way, please do not keep your mouth closed. Go share this with someone. Go use this wisdom and change your life, change the community, and change the world. And we'll catch you in the next one. Bye.
00:16:41
Speaker
So