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Fathers (feat. Pastor Jon)
91 Plays2 years ago
In this series, we are digging deeper into current and potential fatherhood. We are peaking through the eyes of several different men, all in different life stages. In this episode, we are interviewing Pastor Jon!
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Transcript
Introduction to Season 3 and Fatherhood Theme
00:00:41
Speaker
Welcome, welcome, welcome, beautiful people. Welcome, pioneers. We are in season three through the eyes of men, fatherhood. And I have been so blessed by the last two seasons to get to hear mothers. Now we're talking to fathers and there's just been so much wisdom to gain. And on here today we have Pastor John. Just a little bit about yourself.
00:01:05
Speaker
Well, I've been able to get to know you. I'm absolutely loving to be able to do it on with you, Shala. What a wonderful time being able to talk about being a dad. Live from here in Knoxville, Tennessee, being able to reconnect with you. It's been a couple of minutes since we've been able to see each other in person.
00:01:22
Speaker
but it's exciting what God's doing. Great things are happening, looking forward to talking about being a dad, how important it is that we get men involved. I love seeing women involved. That's absolutely vital, but we've got to have that male part of it. We've got to have
00:01:40
Speaker
I don't know.
Defining Fatherhood Beyond Biology
00:01:41
Speaker
Can I knock on dads a little bit? Where's that maleness? Just a little dangerous? Well, maybe a lot of dangerous. Here's the reason why women live longer than men. Where's that danger level? Let's get back and let's be men. Get dirty. Go out in the field and eat a baloney sandwich with dirt or who knows? You may have cow poop on your hands or something. Who cares?
00:02:09
Speaker
I love it. I love it. All righty. First question. What is fatherhood? Wow. I was looking over. You sent me these questions. I love looking over these. So fatherhood. What is fatherhood? I think that we have to understand that fatherhood is way more than the fact of us as men being. And I hope I'm doing this correctly. I don't mean to be crass. We can't just be sperm donors.
00:02:38
Speaker
Fatherhood is way more than just the fact of the biological function of the birds and the bees. Fatherhood is leading. Fatherhood is being a servant leader. Fatherhood is investing. Fatherhood is getting up at two o'clock in the morning when your child is
00:02:56
Speaker
We always use the thing of they're getting up puking and type of thing. But fatherhood is way more than that. Fatherhood is getting up at two o'clock in the morning when they're having a night terror and comforting your three-year-old in order to get her to be able to calm her mind. That's fatherhood, actually being a man. So good. What are some generalizations about fatherhood that need to be shut down?
Challenging Inept Father Stereotypes
00:03:21
Speaker
I saw that when I was...
00:03:23
Speaker
I was like, man, generalizations. One is that fathers are stupid. That absolutely drives me insane bonkers. And not because of, I don't mean that personally. I'm not frustrated personally because of it. As much as it frustrates me because it's part of an agenda in order to crush fathers. It's part of an agenda which in order to take apart the nuclear family and it must stop. That's so good.
00:03:52
Speaker
Is fatherhood challenging and why?
Fatherhood as a Path to Personal Growth
00:03:54
Speaker
Oh, I think it's supposed to be challenging. Is it challenging? Yes, challenging. That's why they gave it to dads. And I don't mean that in a sexist way, but it requires tenacity, it requires investment, and it requires being a man. That's why it's called fatherhood. It's tough. It's not for the wimps. It's not for the sissies. It's meant to grow you up. How many men do we all know that became
00:04:22
Speaker
You know, it's like they had their child and all of a sudden they became a man. Why? Because fatherhood is tough. It's challenging. And it's supposed to be that way. You're growing kids up. They're going to be, they're going to be, the Bible talks about them as children, as arrows. You're going to be shooting them off into society, the world, if you will. And they have to be prepared. It's tough. I love it. It's tough. If it's easy, you're not doing it the right way. So good.
00:04:51
Speaker
Is your father in your life and how has that affected your fatherhood? I have the opportunity to have my father in my life. That has been a huge, presented its challenges. But at the same time, it's also presented some very good parts. We're actually going to be moving to my hometown here in a couple, well, actually just over a week.
00:05:13
Speaker
And so we'll be right near my dad and my mom, they still live there. And how it's affected my fatherhood.
00:05:24
Speaker
I I've learned a lot. You know, as the old saying goes, you learn from some people what to do and from some people what not to do. And I learned a lot of what not to do. And I found myself copying what my dad has done. And I have found that I need to stop doing that. So he is in my life and has affected my fatherhood somewhat for the negative. And it also has affected it for the positive. But
00:05:52
Speaker
It's, you know, you don't have to be who your dad was. And it's not, it's also, I think of it two ways. Two things very important to understand is if your dad was a good dad, it's not gonna happen by accident that you're gonna be a good dad. And just because your dad was a bad dad, it doesn't mean that you're going to have to be a bad dad yourself. It requires work. It's that challenging part from question number three. Okay, okay. Was being a dad your plan or was it God's?
00:06:23
Speaker
was being a dad of your plan or was it God's? Well, I wanted to be a dad. So, I mean, there's that side of it. But, I mean, I think that God wants, I mean, it's, you know, boy meets girl, boy and girl get married and then, you know, the babies come. There's that old, you know,
00:06:42
Speaker
Um, that old little, uh, uh, Diddy, if you will, about baby carriages. Um, so I think it's part of God's plan, but I wanted to be a dad too. So I kind of, I don't know, it's kind of both. Yeah. Have you and your spouse ever had to deal with the miscarriage or stillbirth and how did you get through that?
Grieving Miscarriage and Emotional Healing
00:07:01
Speaker
Wow, March of 2017. Absolutely, probably. It was, I believe it was like March 9th, if I remember correctly. And then the miscarriage, she actually had the miscarriage. My wife had the miscarriage on March 23rd. What makes that day actually, excuse me, March 24th, I apologize. March 24th is actually the birthday of our oldest as well. So would have been, let's see here, baby number eight.
00:07:32
Speaker
was a miscarriage. I think it was about six weeks along. We had a miscarriage. I love your words. How did you get through it? I love that it infers that it's tough. I've heard so many people tell me, just forget about it. Don't talk about it. I don't know why you would do that. That's absolutely asinine and just plain dump.
00:07:54
Speaker
I mean, that's like dumb on purpose, you know, DUM dumb. It is absolutely crazy that you would just go and shove that underneath the surface in order to have it not be talked about. That was a life. That was a real human being that passed away.
00:08:17
Speaker
And, and there should be a grieving process. How do you get through it one of the things we just talked about. We had many times tears we had many things that are.
00:08:30
Speaker
that we were you know we talked through we had many things that we you know just waking up in the middle of the night and talking about it when we were thinking about it having bad dreams about it talking about it helped and it concerns me even in the Christendom world the religious world I we have found out there's been hundreds maybe even thousands of individuals that are
00:09:00
Speaker
that are have dealt with marriage carriage or stillbirth. And there's not much talk about it. There's not much there out there for people to be able to go through it together in order to to help process it. And I think it's very
00:09:21
Speaker
I think it's very important that we begin. It's a tough conversation. You just lost a baby. You never got to hold it, but you lost it. You know you did. And we must talk about them. Yeah. Do you have a good slash close relationship with your kids?
00:09:38
Speaker
Well, I would love to say I have a perfect relationship, but I'd be a liar. And being a religious show that you have on here, I don't want to be a liar. I think we have a relationship because of challenges of me acting like my dad and acting that way does put a strain upon relationships at times.
Repairing Relationships Through Faith
00:09:58
Speaker
But I'm learning is God can mend back together that which
00:10:05
Speaker
the palmar worm has eaten or the canker worm as it says in the minor prophets the palmar worm has eaten and God can restore and we're watching that happen in miraculous ways so good what do your kids do that soften your heart by me presence oh no that was the wrong answer can we have a mulligan redo on that one what do your kids do that softens your heart well
00:10:31
Speaker
I used to would have answered. This is probably even a change since when we were in Washington, when you were going to the church that I was pastoring. I'm now getting soft. My heart softens to when there are children.
00:10:47
Speaker
if that makes sense. And I don't want to, maybe I probably should define that. When they do dumb stuff, that softens my heart. Why does it soften? Are you, are you promoting sin, John? No, I'm not promoting sin. I'm not being like that. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about is they're acting like kids are acting normal. They're acting, they're acting very normal. That's what I love seeing is that they are being normal people as they should be.
00:11:17
Speaker
And that softens my heart because I see so many times we want them to become robots. And I was one of those. I wanted them to become robots. I wanted them to act correctly. Good God Almighty, I don't act correctly. I mean, your listeners don't know me, but you can attest to and you can be honest, I don't act normal.
00:11:40
Speaker
I, you know, probably a little psycho, a little crazy, but I made an image just a little bit, but it's, it's just, it's amazing when they, when they act normal. I don't want them to, I see, and I've pushed it. I have, and that's one of the things I want them to be them. And that softens my, I'm getting to that point that they are them.
00:12:04
Speaker
Steven's different than Hannah. Hannah's different than Abby. Abby's different than Matthew. And James is his own little person. It's amazing. And that kind of softens my heart. What I used to would have said was when they obeyed correctly and they did it. Oh, come on. Guys, get off of it. How do you deal with disobedience physically and emotionally?
00:12:30
Speaker
How do I deal with disobedience physically? Well, I think the Bible does talk about that there is physical discipline. But I think that we have, how do I word this? We have caused physical discipline to become the only way that we know how to discipline in Christendom. It has become quite the way that we discipline children is only physically.
00:12:59
Speaker
And then how we discipline physically if we were to do that, or even how we do it, even if we're not physically disciplining them, allowing, you know, they didn't get their chores done so they can't watch the movie with us, you know, because the game's over, you know, whatever it might be. How we act during that time, they are in a vulnerable spot. And we need to remember they are real human beings.
00:13:29
Speaker
And I'm not good at that. I'm really bad at it. And it's been a learning process for me of understanding
00:13:40
Speaker
that how I act is not, when we talk about it, how I act, well, I don't go out and steal bubblegum from the grocery store, but I act like an absolute buffoon and then wonder why they act like a buffoon. And I'm trying to discipline them. And well, yeah, you probably are. I'll give you that, John. You're trying to discipline them. But how about you do it the right way?
00:14:11
Speaker
What are you trying to or what do you want to instill in your signs? I want to instill in my sons that we, how do I word this? We want them to be real people because it's a real world with real problems, with real hurt. They may have some of those real problems.
00:14:39
Speaker
they may have some of those real hurts. And it's really okay that, you know, when they, quote, fly the coop, if you will, jump out of the nest and fly away. I hope that our home is a home that
00:14:57
Speaker
You made a mistake, you did something. Well, maybe not even a mistake. You just made a bad decision. You thought that the car was going to be a good one and it turned out to be a lemon. Come and talk. Who cares? The door's open. That kind of stuff. I want to instill that into them, not only towards that, but I want them to have that towards others. Long suffering, forbearance.
00:15:24
Speaker
um I think of the bible verse forgiving one another and preparing one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you well it goes back to you know what I ain't perfect I try to act like I am I try to put on that put on that facade I'm pretty good guy but
00:15:42
Speaker
Then that goes back to the emotional hurt that you can cause even outside of discipline. When you make yourself to be some sort of pompous buffoon, it really hurts people. It does. It crushes people. And what are you trying to or what do you want to instill in your daughters? Wow. I would definitely say ditto on all of that. I just said I can't quote it again because I probably damage it.
00:16:13
Speaker
But I know that there's such a rise of, how do I word this, male, male, especially in the religious world, male chauvinism, and it's biblical sized. And I want them to understand is they're fearfully and wonderfully made too. And they are, I think as dads, we have to, as fathers, we have to instill
00:16:42
Speaker
that we are going to respect, we are going to honor them. And I want to have them know that it's okay to be who they are. What are some unspoken promises, principles, characteristics, et cetera, that you want them to grasp just by watching you? I was looking over that one pre-show. I want them to know
00:17:12
Speaker
that even though I may not say it, and this is one thing I'm working on is that what my mind thinks as I also say, and I don't mean that in the wrong way, you know, I don't want everything that my mind thinks to come out of my mouth. But I'm saying this is the that, you know, communicating, communicating that I'm in their corner, you know, through actions, communicating through that I'm
00:17:41
Speaker
I'm, I'm working for them through actions. I want my actions and my words to match, you know, telling Hannah she's turning 14 this year that I love her, telling her that I think she's pretty, but I want to treat her like I love her. I want her to treat her like she's pretty. I want her to know that so then that way it's,
00:18:06
Speaker
Words have a lot of meaning. They do, and that may be somewhat funny to say it that way. Words have meaning. But it's amazing what the action does to reinforce the meaning of words. And that's where I am striving. And I say that where I choose that word is that's where I'm wanting to go. But I find myself
00:18:28
Speaker
saying dumb things at 11 o'clock at night and losing my temper and saying things that then I have to spend two days apologizing for and rebuilding because I set off a nuclear bomb in the Schrock household. Yeah.
Honesty About Mistakes and Faith Lessons
00:18:43
Speaker
How do you incorporate your walk with Christ into your parenting? Well, I go back to what I'm trying to instill. I try to be honest with my kids. Dad messed up. Sorry, I was an idiot.
00:18:59
Speaker
I just said things about your mom that's absolutely untrue. I just said things about you. I was in a fit of anger and rage, and I was just an emotional mess. I'm not making light of it. I'm not making... What's the word? I'm not making...
00:19:24
Speaker
excuses for it, but I was tired because of, you know, and explaining to them, Christ still loves me, and I still love you, and I hope that you can still love me. But I don't demand it out of them, because God doesn't demand us to love Him.
00:19:42
Speaker
He offers to us that we can love Him. He tries to get us to want to love Him, but He doesn't demand it. And so Christ wants us to walk in righteousness. And I find myself more times than not doing that. So instilling that into that. How do you balance work, spouse, ministry, kids, and your own personal walk with God?
00:20:05
Speaker
I was hoping that you would answer this question. I will sit back and listen because I don't know how to do that. So Shala, taking over the, I'm gonna push this button. I'm gonna take over the host spot. How do you balance that? I don't know.
00:20:19
Speaker
What it is, I think, but that goes back to that challenging part. Guys, we've got stuff that we can conquer. Quit trying to be, and I'm talking to myself, but I'm also passionately talking to others.
Balancing Work, Family, and Personal Life
00:20:34
Speaker
Quit trying to always go and conquer everything outside the home. The job that I'm doing now, I'm still, I passed her Minuteman.
00:20:43
Speaker
uh ministries um and I also work uh with the John Birch Society. I've got big hills to conquer. I've got places. Oh my goodness. I'm on here on my uh computer. Oh, can I can I tell you about big things that are happening? How they they invested this amount of money in this campaign and that amount of money in that campaign. Folks, we also have guys we have big things that we need to conquer inside of our homes balancing work life balance.
00:21:12
Speaker
understand, it has to go to God. Then, you know, your relationship with God, your relationship with your wife, men that are married, fathers, you know, you know, that are married, then comes, you know, then comes the kids. If you have your kids in front of your spouse, trust me, we've done it. My wife and I have done it. And we're like, Oh, my stars, what did we just do? You know, why did we do this? And folks, we are, we're as guilty as anyone else.
00:21:42
Speaker
don't think that you can't rectify that which you've broken. So go out and conquer that. So you go your relationship to God, your relationship to your spouse, to your wife, your relationship with your kids. I mean, I've got nine kids that are living. We've got one in heaven. We talked about the miscarriage.
00:22:04
Speaker
And I've got nine little lives that are, I mean, Matthew's still a pistol. James is becoming a pistol. Grace is growing up. Abigail and Hannah are growing up. It is absolutely insane. And I've got big mountains to conquer with them. We're moving to a house, 3.1 acres. It's gonna be amazing. We're gonna go and conquer the wild unknown of 3.1 acres.
00:22:32
Speaker
Folks, we can have that balance. I don't know how to do it. I'm still learning. I'm still trying to understand. But I know it's a big bill for me to conquer. And you have to look at it that way. Because when I look at what I'm doing, literally up on my screen right now, I'm looking at the Indiana Secretary of State campaign finance site and finding out who has given to what campaigns.
00:23:01
Speaker
I need to go find out what my kids are interested in and go and conquer that hill as well. And then when my mind thinks of it that way, it's easier for me to engage in it because it's something to conquer. And guys like conquering things for some strange reason or weird like that. What challenges do you have as the head of house and how do you overcome that?
00:23:25
Speaker
none. I'm perfect. Next question. Oh, challenges. We're the head of I've thought of it this way. We talked about everybody wants to be the fire chief. I used to be on the fire department. Everybody wants to wear my helmet. They want to be the big cheese, the big chief. Well, guess what? When you're when you're the dad, kind of you are the big cheese, the big chief. Understand my my analogy. Well,
00:23:55
Speaker
you've got challenges as being if you're the chief of a fire department you know you remember the the fire department kitty corner from our house so we're a city fire department you've got to balance the city council budget meeting you've got to balance the the politics of city council you've got to balance the public safety politics of the of the west plains region there in spokane county you've got to well guess what
00:24:20
Speaker
You've got challenges as a dad as being, quote, the head of the house. Quit thinking that means that you're some on high King that's been coronated like the Queen of England. Good God almighty, it means that you get to serve those who are, who are, quote, your underlings, for lack of a better term. But it says in the Bible, you're supposed to love your family or your wife specifically, it says, as Christ loved the church.
00:24:47
Speaker
And I love these words, gave himself for it. Now, talking about challenges. Yeah, there's challenges. There's budgetary challenges. I don't know if you've got any ideas of how to make your paycheck bigger than your expense. That would be amazing. I'm not talking about those. I'm saying there are challenges inherently in the job of being the head of the house.
00:25:13
Speaker
And it's not a challenge of how do I delegate my authority and how do I make sure they understand that I am boss. That's just stupidity. The challenges are how am I going to serve them? So good. What falls through the cracks because of whatever is happening on a daily basis? What area are you slacking in?
00:25:36
Speaker
Consistency. And when I mean consistency, sometimes in the Christendom world, we would say consistency and discipline. No, consistency being a human being. Consistency being a loving human being. Consistency being a caring human being. Consistency in prayer. Consistency in viable devotions. Consistency in consistency. I think you get the point.
00:26:07
Speaker
Do you find yourself overcompensating in any way for any reason? Oh, every day. I mean, that's one of those challenges because when I think of challenges, I think of the pressures, peer pressure, that's what I'm looking for, I believe, that pop up.
00:26:33
Speaker
Um, in our lives of, um, we have to, we have to keep up with the neighbors. They've got to be cool. Why don't I got to be cool? They've got the, uh, I looked on Facebook and they went to all the cool spaces when they were, you know, the, the keeping up, uh, there's the old, um, uh, there's the old, uh,
00:26:59
Speaker
PBS show, Keeping Up Appearances. And the star of the show, the lady, was always trying to be the queen of England, and she would walk around with a spot with me. And she was trying to keep up. And she was actually chasing her own tail, going round and round and round and never getting anywhere. But she was doing a lot of work. Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. But never getting anywhere.
00:27:26
Speaker
and I find myself doing that and it's even put upon us even in Christendom in the church world what you're supposed to be doing I mean let's be let's be let's be honest we also have um is uh here they give you busy work in Christendom has nothing to do with really doing anything it's it's just literally excuse me literally busy work
00:27:53
Speaker
And it's an atrocity. It's an absolute atrocity. And we shouldn't do it. But we find ourselves doing it. What do you do on the days you want to quit? Are you implying that there's not every day? I think that's one of those
00:28:22
Speaker
Man, we've got to be, we've got to be emotionally healthy. Oh, Jesus. Pause. That's a good one right there. Anybody from the people in the back? There must be Baptists around the back room. Tenacity. Folks, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I know that's so cliche. It sounds so sweet.
00:28:53
Speaker
But when you put your shoulder to the plow, you're pushing. Yeah, it's going to push against you. It's designed that way. It's so good. So what do I do? So literally right now, I've got elected officials tweeting my name on their public accounts because I'm frustrating.
00:29:18
Speaker
Well, in my job, I'm like, oh, see, toughness is getting tough. I must be over target. I must be right over target. I must be bombing in the right position. Well, how about when it gets tough in anything else? Why aren't we going? You know what? Tough get going. You know, it's getting, going gets tough. The tough get going. But we literally start thinking, well, maybe I should quit. I'm not sure if I should quit yet. I mean,
00:29:47
Speaker
And it's like, no, I was figuring on digging in a little bit deeper. That's what I was thinking. I don't know. It seems like the theme is getting a little tough. I don't know how to get through to my 12-year-old son. The world's crashing down around him. We're moving. We're seeing this happen. We're seeing that happen. And his entire world's upside down. And I'm not meaning of having him just push through it. I'm wondering, in my mind, this is going to be tough for me to get over in his mind.
00:30:15
Speaker
Well, let's do it, though. How am I going to go about and do that? How am I going to make that happen so then we can have an idea of how to help him? That's when the tough get going. How can I help him? Who has helped support you through your journey as a father?
00:30:45
Speaker
who has helped support me during my journey as a father. I've had some people along the way that have been those who I can look to and talk to, but I think that's one area for me. There's not many of those that get all of it. Like there's some that get a piece of it or that piece
00:31:16
Speaker
but they don't really get the entire whole kitten caboodle. And it is, it's lonely out there that you're really trying to be, I know some that are, that have, you know, figured out about emotional health and about this or that, but they don't get the religious side of it. They're more in love with the emotional wacky cracky stuff than they are of the,
00:31:46
Speaker
real what's the word the real stuff they're not they're not they're not concerned about the spiritual aspect in the spiritual warfare that goes on yes yes there we go and so i don't really i don't know it's it's a lonely world yeah but hey let's create it let's create a way to get together and you know we can make it happen yeah definitely
00:32:16
Speaker
Definitely. Is a spiritual father as important as a biological or at home father? I think of it in a way like having Godfather, if you will,
00:32:32
Speaker
someone you can look up to. I think that's important. If you don't have, I know that they're, you know, I was blessed that my dad was, you know, present, you know, in the house. Maybe then always do the right things, if you will, but was present. But at the same time, I also know is that, you know, having somebody that you can bounce things off of is important.
00:33:02
Speaker
But we need to get dads to, we need, we need to get together and get men and, you know, to be men and to listen and to, you know, it's okay to have a bad day. It really is. And, you know, share, share each other's burdens. You know, we need to do that. What do you wish you were told about fatherhood beforehand?
00:33:29
Speaker
don't, I wish I'd been told, don't try to be perfect. That is one of the biggest things I went in trying to be the perfect dad and then fell flat on my face. And that's really what I, when I figured, you know, it went in the midst of that and I really thought about quitting because I just can't be perfect. Oh, darn Skippy, you're not going to be perfect. Now let's go really be a dad.
00:33:54
Speaker
Quit trying to be perfect. You're not gonna be perfect. Get over it. Moving on, you know, page two, as Paul Harvey said. What is one thing you wish you were told by your father? It wasn't until 2020 that dad said that he was proud of me. I wish I had been told that I was, because I strove, strove to be my dad proud of me.
00:34:24
Speaker
never heard it. It was there at the corner of, I was outside talking to my dad in between the library and our house there in Airway Heights and I was on the phone with him and told me he was proud of me. What is one thing you were told by your dad that you use often? Obey me immediately. That is one of those
00:34:56
Speaker
things I'm trying to break habits. I think it's even more dangerous than being an alcoholic. I think it's more dangerous than being a drug addict. It's another addiction that must be broken. If it's not more, maybe it's equally as much dangerous. And we must crush that immediately.
00:35:24
Speaker
What is one thing you want to tell other fathers? Don't be like me, but be like me. And I say that I was meaning it for the funny fact as well as literally. I think we need to understand the
00:35:52
Speaker
have somebody, when I say be like me, folks, I have fallen down flat on my face as a dad, as a pastor while I was a pastor, you know, I still am, you know, but you can get back up. So be like me, but don't be like me and fall flat on your face. But I'm not, I'm not expecting you to be perfect. So I'm not hoping that you fall flat on your face. I'm hoping is that you will be
00:36:21
Speaker
you know, how you're supposed to be. And find people that are willing to, what's the word? Find people that are willing to invest in who you are, that are wanting you to be who they want you to be. I could go in great detail of,
00:36:49
Speaker
those who have tried to surround me, but they wanted me to become who they wanted versus what God wanted me to be. That's so good. Now don't use that in a way of I'm going to go out and become some sort of, you know,
00:37:09
Speaker
LGBTQ, anti-biblical person, that's just nonsense. What I'm talking about is that if God wants you to become a church planter in the state of Washington, go be a church planter in the state of Washington.
00:37:27
Speaker
you'll meet some really cool people. You'll be able to do what God wants you to do. When God says that he wants you to be, do what God says what he wants you to do. Now don't use that as a weapon in order to say, you know, I'm going to become this or that or whatever. Let's make sure it's biblical, but you be you, I'll be me, but let's just make sure it's biblical.
00:37:51
Speaker
that so perfectly say, you be you, I'll be me, but make sure it's biblical. That's what the saying needs to say now. And they're like, you do you, you do you in the confines of Christ. That's what it should be. That's what the saying should be. Because these people, they've been doing all kinds of things in all kinds of ways. And we wonder why the world is a hot mess right now. No wonder the world's a hot mess is because there has to be a sense of
00:38:21
Speaker
Oh, morality. There has to be a baseline. There has to be rules. We have rules of the road. Why? So there's an establishment of normality. So that there's, there's these, these, it's rules of the road. Well, there's rules of life. You can't spend more than you make. You can't do it. Or all of a sudden your bank accounts in the negative. I mean, holy cow, who would have thought?
00:38:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's not. But we have we have given ourselves over to being. What's the word? We want it to be. We want to just do it. We want to do it our way. You know, that old song, I did it my way. We try to see on your show my scarier. Yeah.
00:39:18
Speaker
So good. What do you tell your kids often? What do I tell my kids often? What I've been finding myself is what I've been working on over time. It's finding things to thank them for and telling them that I'm proud of them. And that has been something that I've been really working on because I didn't used to. It used to be obey me, obey me, obey me. And I was an idiot. So good.
00:39:47
Speaker
What do you think needs to be talked about more as it pertains to fatherhood? The last 24 questions. It's fun. It's exciting. I mean, being a dad is top notch stuff.
00:40:12
Speaker
I'm probably gonna, and I say this, I know I'm running the risk of maybe sounding braggadocious, but I'm not. But the job that I'm doing right now with the John Birch Society is putting me into places of what many would consider high, high areas that may be considered. And I will have to tell you, being a dad's way more fun than any of it,
00:40:39
Speaker
It pays my bills. That's what I like about it. I mean, it's fun. It's a job in order to pay my bills. I do get enjoyment out of it, but being a dad has been way more fulfilling than any meeting anybody, doing anything. It's been way more fun doing that.
00:41:08
Speaker
What do you think, oh wait, give me a second. I almost repeat the same question. Do you think there's a lack of fathers and why? Oh, no, there's plenty of. Oh, I guess we have to go and nuance the word fathers. I mean, unless you have a
00:41:28
Speaker
unless you have a biological problem, anybody can be a father, you know, scientifically, but is there a lack of fathers? Oh yeah, there's a dearth of men that are willing to be a true biblical father. There's a dearth across the land. Oh, I go to church and bless God, I go to the men's group on Saturday morning at 10.
00:41:48
Speaker
I could care less, or excuse me, I couldn't care less to make sure I state that properly. But yes, there's a huge lack of biblical fatherhood, biblical fathers. And what's frustrating to me is when you actually start training dads to be dads, you are then scorned by higher ups inside of Christendom.
00:42:17
Speaker
Um, for doing that because you are crushing their narrative because then they, they don't, they no longer control the dads. You don't have control. You are under the control of God. If you are under the control of God. And once you are, you have Liberty and that's what the Bible says. Other than that, I have no strong opinions.
00:42:43
Speaker
What is your hope for your future as a father and what is your hope for your kids?
Personal Faith Growth and Influence on Children
00:42:50
Speaker
I hope I continue to grow, grow in the grace and knowledge of God. I hope my kids continue to do that as well. I hope they see that their dad is changing. I hope they see that their dad is becoming more
00:43:08
Speaker
uh christ-like they see that you know we they too can make mistakes and continue on yeah do you think this generation of fathers have things harder or easier than you have them i don't see i don't see it any different the devil's been alive and well since the garden of eden we're fighting the same battles um
00:43:36
Speaker
It's actually, I've got it worse than somebody else. Yeah, whatever. Think back to, I mean, we could go back in the Bible.
00:43:46
Speaker
and see so many, you know, the Tower of Babel, we can see Sodom and Gomorrah, we can see, I mean, where do you want us to go? I mean, seriously, this is, it's craziness to think that it's not as, it's probably been worse than other times in the Bible. I'm not saying we haven't gotten, maybe we could go and look at some metric and say that it's worse in this area. Sure, why not?
00:44:12
Speaker
But seriously, it's terrible out there. The devil is going about seeking whom he may devour. And he has been for, what, 8,000 years at the young earth.
Embracing Fatherhood Against Societal Norms
00:44:27
Speaker
What is something you have to say to this generation of men and fathers? Stand up. Be a man. If you can't go be a used car salesman.
00:44:42
Speaker
Say it again for the people in the back. I don't think they heard you. Stand up. Be a man. If you can't do it, go be a used car salesman. And last question, what is something you have to say to this generation of women and mothers? They need to stand up too. Seriously. I mean, we have, there's a dearth of fathers. There's a dearth of biblical fathers.
00:45:11
Speaker
an absolute, I mean, it is scorched earth of fathers. But what's tragic is scorched earth of mothers too, biblical mothers. I mean, we've got mothers going to Planned Parenthood, aborting their babies and thinking that it's okay. How in the wide world of sports is that okay?
00:45:35
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, wow. It's an absolute travesty that we have taken it away that motherhood instinct. An absolute travesty. But it's gone. But it goes back to the whole problem. We think that we're fighting the right thing when we're actually fighting the wrong thing.
00:46:02
Speaker
We don't understand, we don't understand it correctly. We don't see it correctly, rightly.
00:46:12
Speaker
We're actually fighting the devil. We're fighting the devil. The devil is cropping up against fathers. He's fighting against fathers. He's fighting against mothers. He's fighting against everybody because he doesn't care one single lick about you, me, anybody. He just wants it for him. The respect of a person. Correct. And we don't understand that. We don't see that. Yeah.
00:46:42
Speaker
And that's where folks were literally fighting the devil. Again, we get the opportunity to, everybody wants to go back. I've got some people that tell me, well, I'd love to go back to the.
00:46:56
Speaker
whatever, you know, they name, you know, the time frame. I wish we were back in the mid 1800s because bless God. I'm like, the devil was still there trying to crush me. Jesus, yeah. I wish I was back in the time. If I was only Sarah, I am with Abraham and Sarah, things would be different. Well, then make them different today because you're fighting the same devil. Why don't you be the Sarah of today? Well, I wish I was the, oh, come on. Just be who you are before God.
00:47:24
Speaker
stand up be it it's it's you you can't I mean you can have so much fun fighting the devil yeah it's fun watching the devil go and and get all worked up but you have to actually go out and fight him you've got to go and kick him in the teeth yeah so good so good so good
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:47:49
Speaker
Well, pioneers and beautiful people, with that, that concludes the end of this episode. Thank you so much, Pastor John, for being on here. This was so good. Guys, if you were blessed by this episode, please go like, follow, share, go to the website, go to the Patreon. Guys, make sure that you are tuning in for the next episode. Take this and go change your life, your community, and the world. And with that, we say bye.
00:48:20
Speaker
so