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The 7 Primal Questions: A Journey into Personal Growth (feat. Sam Powers)
118 Plays4 months ago
Welcome back to The Integrated Man Project! In today's episode, we dive into an incredible journey of self-discovery and musical memories with our returning guest, Sam Powers. We'll revisit Sam’s exhilarating experience at a Coldplay concert, delve into the emotional depths of the Enneagram, and explore the profound impact of Mike Foster’s "7 Primal Questions." Alongside our deep discussions, expect some nostalgic music talk—from Radiohead’s groundbreaking "Kid A" to the intense live performances by Muse and Blink-182.
We'll also uncover personal anecdotes about overcoming insecurities, living authentically, and the transformative power of being present for your loved ones. Join Travis Goodman and Sam Powers as they share heartfelt insights, celebrate the importance of appreciation, and continue their quest to unlock purpose and fulfillment. Don’t forget to stick around for exclusive updates and join our thriving community. Let's get integrated!
Key Points and Highlights:
- Coldplay Concert Experience: Sam Powers shared his exhilarating experience attending a Coldplay concert where they performed their early albums, "Parachutes" and "A Rush of Blood to the Head." He compared it to the raw energy of seeing U2 in their early days, emphasizing the transformative power of live music.
- 7 Primal Questions: Sam delved into the crucial 7 Primal Questions explored in Mike Foster's book, which deeply influence our actions and relationships. He highlighted questions like "Am I good enough?" and "Do I have a purpose?" and shared how addressing these questions has helped him guide clients toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.
- Music and Personal Growth: The conversation touched on the profound impact music has on personal growth and memory. Both Travis and Sam discussed their musical journeys, favorite bands, and how music serves as a powerful conduit for emotions and life experiences.
Challenge Question: Reflect on one of the primal questions we discussed today. Which question resonates with you the most, and why? How does this question influence your daily actions and relationships?
GRAB THE BOOK: 7 PRIMAL QUESTIONS - HERE
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WATCH ON YOUTUBE:
Connect and Support Sam:
Instagram: swamipowers
Web: www.sampowerscoaching.com
Connect and Support Travis:
YouTube: Travis Goodman
Instagram: @integratedmanproject
Check out the Website: IntegratedManProject.com
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Transcript
Introduction & Community Membership
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to this week's episode of the Integrated Man Project podcast. Before we jump into this week's episode, I did want to share about an exclusive membership I want to be launching to help shape the Integrated Man Project community. If this is something you'd be interested in, where you will be co-laboring with me, sharing your ideas, giving input, giving me feedback, part of kind of this process of creating something bigger and better for all men,
00:00:27
Speaker
I would love for you to join. And if this is something you're interested, please reach out to me. Email me at integratedmanproject at gmail dot.com. You could also send me a direct message on Instagram as well or on LinkedIn. I would love for you to reach out to me. I would love for you to be part of this exclusive group to help again shape and form this integrated man community.
00:00:50
Speaker
ah Because as you do this, as we share in this journey together, we're going to create a community of men around the world where we become more grounded, more adaptable, more resilient, and more authentic men. So come on and join. If you're interested in this, please reach out to me. And without further ado, let's get into this week's episode.
Guest Introduction & Aging Reflections
00:01:16
Speaker
Well, welcome back everybody to this week's episode of the integrated man project podcast. Um, if you listened to the previous episode with Sam, well, then this introduction will be just as good, if not better. If you haven't listened to the previous episode, this introduction will be also good, if not better for the first time as you tune in. So welcome Sam to the show. Hey Travis, so good to see you man. I'm so excited to do part two with you. ah Me too. That that first episode was was a lot of fun and um it was, you know, it was more of an origin story. And I think today we're going to kind of get into some of the work that, you know, you and I both are equating with, you know. yeah
00:01:59
Speaker
I like it is it it. I feel like we're jumping into Marvel or something with the origin story. and But this is exciting. And yeah, it was a great episode. In fact, um those that listen, it did not take three years to do our part two, thankfully. It definitely took longer than three months because when we did record it, we had all these hopes and dreams and plans um to do it within three weeks. And that, you know, we won't tell you how long it's been, but definitely less than three years, definitely longer than three weeks.
00:02:27
Speaker
So years I listened back to it and what was so great is I realized I was 45 in that episode and now I'm 46. So it's been since April, which I'm an Aries. I was born in April and you know my 11 year old is now 12.
Generational Perspectives & Early Internet Days
00:02:43
Speaker
Yeah, well, and I could relate. I was 39. I'm now 40. And my boys have turned seven and five. They were six and four. So, you know, here we are. I did make it to 40. I'm joining the club. Oh, I am so happy that you're here with us because as um Carl Jung said, life begins at 40.
00:03:04
Speaker
Yeah, you know, I really, I feel that I need to do, I think actually an episode just about turning 40 and kind of just like random thoughts that I've been having. Maybe I'll tag you along on just ask me questions. I need to do that soon, but I agree. I feel being 40, little preview for that episode, if it it comes out at all, but little previews, I think being 40 and realizing I'm actually glad I'm 40 and not 20. I'll just say that. So for so many reasons, like so many reasons, I'm 40 and not 20.
00:03:31
Speaker
um yeah and You know what, i I think it's interesting because this is something that I think most men fear is this whole aging process. And you know, you hear these metrics of time, you know, and as as you're growing up. So you're the tale, like you're, I think you're considered an elder millennial.
00:03:52
Speaker
Yeah, or yeah, there's also a possibly being Gen X depending on. So Gen X. What's the cutoff? um I think 82.
00:04:02
Speaker
Yeah, so um but but I feel like an elder millennial is more Gen X than it is millennial. Oh, 100%. I relate way more to Gen X stuff than I do to like millennials because it's like right there. And I grew up with Gen X-ers, so that was more of my who I hung out with was in any you all my close friends. And you know what it is? is that And i I've had this quite a few of these conversations about this. and But what it was is that our formative years growing up were not influenced by the internet.
00:04:30
Speaker
But 100%, I think that's the differentiating factor too, because we didn't but it wasn't a thing really until high school. And even then, it really wasn't a thing. No, I mean, remember ah dialing it up and that wonderful sound? It's something that my kids will never know. and AOL, AOL.
00:04:50
Speaker
I know. And I bet the best was it came on a CD-ROM. Yeah, you had to insert it into your computer to get a free, you'd get a free trial for like 30 minutes or something. 60 minutes. We're dating ourselves so much, you know, and I was gonna, I was gonna throw in there like Napster downloading a full albums on Napster or LimeWire and, you know, killing the family computer with viruses. All the malware, malware and stuff on your
Exploring 'The Seven Primal Questions'
00:05:20
Speaker
computer. Yeah, oh yeah. It would take how long to download like one song? like Or if someone picked up the phone when you were trying to download it and you're just like, oh no, I was like, dang it. It's been like seven hours for this one song. And it was a good file too. It was bigger. It wasn't an MP3. It was a wave. Oh yeah, we can talk music forever. so
00:05:41
Speaker
Okay, so the purpose of tonight's conversation or today, whatever you're listening, is not my 40 year old reflections, although I need to do that. And I think Sam and I will just do it because it's gonna be fun. That would be nice. And then maybe we'll do that really soon actually. and um But tonight is really diving deeper in. um If you haven't listened to the first episode, go check it out. It's a lot of fun. we We talk about a lot of things, but one of the things we do talk about is this book called The Seven Primal Questions.
00:06:10
Speaker
by mike foster And so that's what we're doing. This episode really is more a deep dive into what these things are, kind of why you should care, how they can be helpful to you. That's kind of where we're going tonight. So without further ado, let's jump into these seven primal questions by Mike Foster.
00:06:27
Speaker
So Mike Foster is my coaching mentor. um He has been an executive level coach for like 20 years. He's written several books. um He has done executive level both business coaching, so team building, um organizational coaching, and then personal development coaching for 20 years. He started and founded a marketing company and sold that about 20 years ago and then started to do, you know,
00:06:55
Speaker
Life coaching and they moved into some of the corporate realms utilizing you know his skill set of both Marketing advertising and then also his his heart for just people to heal which is amazing and ironically I came to know him um because he's an onsite alumni. And when we talked about in the previous episode, you know, I went to onsite, which is this therapeutic workshop in Cumberland Furnace, Tennessee. And it was recommended me to my friend who was, you know, Mike referred him to onsite. So it's this full circle moment. yeah So, you know,
00:07:35
Speaker
From the origin story, I did my hit my rock bottom in 2020. I've just been kind of rebuilding the better version of me, the more authentic version of me, the version of me that is more present and just proud to be here. And um last year, it was, I ah believe it was last year, Mike released his book, The Seven Primal Questions. My good friend was like, dude, you got to check this out. This is really cool. I bought the book. I read it in two days.
00:08:03
Speaker
because I'm a voracious reader and i I remember reading it and just going, oh my gosh, this makes so much sense. And i was and and what I think I'm gonna do, so the seven primal questions. Now, Mike developed these questions from over 6,000 hours of sitting with individuals. So 6,000 hours, you're a therapist, you know what it's like to you get those couple thousand hours for licensing. It's it's quite a feat.
00:08:32
Speaker
it's ah Yeah, 3,000 took me two years to get to get licensed in California. 3,000 hours was but about two years. so yeah um So yeah, two more years of that would be four years of you know seeing people pretty regularly. If you're doing it, you know you're seeing a lot of people every week to get 6,000 hours. So probably four to six years for him is my guess, which is a lot. It's a lot of data.
00:08:55
Speaker
it's And it's interesting because when we we kind of hear these metrics, we're like, well, that doesn't sound like that much. But when you put it in that terms, it's like, oh, this is, you know, yeah in and what he did is he started out with like 50 different questions that are just kind of relatable to all of us individuals. And so he started kind of narrowing it down and narrowing down, cutting back.
00:09:16
Speaker
And these seven questions he found is what most people, couples included, were kind of subconsciously driving their actions, whether in relationship with their work colleagues, whether it was relationship with your significant other, your kids, or even your your family of origin, or even yourself. Right, right.
00:09:36
Speaker
So he he took all this this data, you know doing all of his workshops and all that stuff. So he started compiling down and he came up with these seven questions. And when I read the book, I remember just like going, okay, this is something I can kind of get behind because this makes so much sense. you know you've to we We're aware of all the personality tests, the Enogram, the Myers-Briggs, strength finders,
Deep Dive into Primal Questions and Emotional Impact
00:10:01
Speaker
you name it. yeah Beautiful work, great stuff to kind of help understand who you are and why you do what you do and I remember I was sitting reading the book and I was taking notes and I just was like I got to the end and I was like oh man this is this is really powerful because it's so simple and you know
00:10:22
Speaker
for you and your therapeutic work and your coaching work, you know that humans, we love to complicate wisdom and truth. And we did do a really good job of adding a lot of other stuff that just is fluff. andrew And so I remember reading the book and I was just like, oh my gosh. And I was talking to my wife, who's an MFT and a powerful individual in her own right. And I was like, honey, you got to read this book.
00:10:45
Speaker
I was like, this is really cool. So she read it and she goes, oh man, this is great. She's like, she's like can I take this copy to the office so that when I start to see like when i see couples, I was like, sure take it. She goes, because I think this is a really powerful tool.
00:11:02
Speaker
So unbeknownst to me, so he launched this book and then I was mindlessly doom scrolling on Instagram, you know, digitally coping, escaping, escaping sometimes the mundane parts of my life. And I get this targeted out and it's like, Mike Foster, Seven Primals Questions coaching program. And I'm like,
00:11:25
Speaker
I'm like, what? ok I was like, okay. And it was like, take the quiz. So I was like, okay, I'm taking the quiz. You know, I'd already read the book and I was like, I'm going to take the quiz, see if it's right on with, you know, the, the info that I'm doing, you know, and that I've read in the book. And then it was like, if you were interested, we're going to start beta, we're going to start a coaching cohort.
00:11:46
Speaker
So i took the email i did a couple of the calls with the leads and i was talking to my wife and she's like listen honey i know you're really good at what you do every day which i build houses um i mean i'm sitting in the house that i built.
00:12:02
Speaker
So, I mean, or I'm sitting in the garage of the house that I built and I'm like, all right. And she's like, you're so passionate about people and you really truly care about the quality of how people are doing. And I was like, well, you know, I've had so many people pouring into me. Like, it's just natural for me to do this.
00:12:21
Speaker
yeah And she's like, I think he really should make the investment and do the coaching certificate. And I was like, and I was terrified because, and ah and this this speaks to my primal question. So the seven primal questions. So i I jumped off the ledge, I joined the cohort. I was one of the first 20 coaches to be trained. We are still fully connected. We are continually doing new and improved trainings.
00:12:49
Speaker
um We have coaches that are doing in couples work. We have people doing it in the corporate sphere because Mike as a keynote speaker has worked with companies like Dutch Brothers, Chick-fil-A. I mean, he uses it in a corporate team building setting too. So that it's not just applicable for like the person, the individual, or the couple. It is transferable.
00:13:13
Speaker
And so I started doing it. I started logging some of my flight hours. And that brings us to here, which is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. This is very exciting. Oh, it's it's so cool. And so what I'm going to do is I'm just going to kind of rattle off the seven questions because and then we'll just go through like a little deeper in each one and what that looks like. And yeah, and let's do it. I can challenge anyone in your audience.
00:13:40
Speaker
If you do not fall into one of these questions, then you might not have a pulse. True. And so. We'll see what emails I get after this episode. Yeah. We'll see. So the first question, the first question that everyone, like a lot of people ask is, am I safe? and So we go, am I safe? Am I secure? Am I loved? Yeah. Am I wanted?
00:14:07
Speaker
Am I successful? Am I good enough? And do I have a purpose? Seven questions. Sounds so simplistic, right? Yes. But this is this is the beauty of this work. How we use these questions and how we move through each one is that All of us kind of have this one question that kind of drives us forward in our actions, our thinking. And what we're trying to do is to answer that question with a yes. And when we answer that question with a yes, we're living in our are authentic
00:14:42
Speaker
soul's purpose or yeah showing up fully present and authentic to who we really are, which is so powerful. So the funny thing is my question is, am I safe? Questions one and two kind of overlap. So am I safe? Am I secure? The same with each other question. So am I love? Am I wanted? So we kind of be can be a blend of those and we might have different what we call scrambles, which is how we operate when we're in stress.
00:15:10
Speaker
And so the ironic thing is for me to join and to pay into a coaching certificate totally win against like, am I you know financially safe and secure? And my wife's just like, honey, you got to do this. And I was like, I was terrified. And so I pushed through that and now I'm here and I'm just like going, all right, well, what a testament to answering that with a yes. Yeah.
00:15:37
Speaker
And so it it's it's interesting because, so question number one is, am I safe? And the big idea really is safety and protection. And so when we, you know, am I safe people, you know, at our best we're like relaxed and we're at peace, you know, and really our highest emotional needs are both safety, both emotionally and physically.
00:16:03
Speaker
So for some of us, I would have been considered an highly sensitive person if I was born in these days. I have suffered from biological anxiety my entire life, thanks to my grandma. Got that that gene passed down.
00:16:17
Speaker
And you know the emotional safety that I can remember as a kid of just being that nervous, anxious kid is like, you can totally see where that emotional safety would have, if I had had that attunement early on, the quality of my internal world would have been so much better. And so, you know for someone who's like an am I safe person, their core fear is experiencing pain and not being able how to survive. Yeah.
00:16:45
Speaker
So it's that whole like survival you know mentality of like it's feast your famine, you know I'm not gonna survive this next season, we're gonna lose everything, which is kind of that scramble. It's what we call a scramble. So that but stressful internal you know process that we put ourselves through to just like go, how can I make this need, how can I be safe?
00:17:09
Speaker
yeah And so it's it's really interesting because what happens, and like I never realized this until I started doing this work, was that in my question, am I safe? My gift is that I try and make everyone around me feel safe. yeah So this this gift is like,
00:17:27
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, my kids have a full refrigerator. You know, like today was the first day of school. Nice. You know, they woke up. I mean, I was first day of school for seventh, third, and first grade. My third grader was like, hey, dad, can we have like chorizo breakfast burritos? And I was like, done. Got it. It's in the fridge. Everything was ready. I made sure that their morning was safe. Everyone went to school. No tears. Thank God. That's a huge win. It was close. It was close.
00:17:56
Speaker
But you made it. We made it. And so it's funny, like my whole life I've just been trying to answer this question, am I safe? And really what it comes down to is when I'm healthy and I'm in that my authentic self, I can honestly go, yeah, I am safe.
00:18:14
Speaker
And when that happens, then you could be, like you said, when you are able to answer that with the yes, I am safe, then you can give that gift of protecting and bringing safety to others, right? That's when you're operating out of that. in And it's weird saying that as ah as a guy too. When you really think about it, it's not something a lot of us want to admit. And what's ironic is um my mentor Mike, he's a Q1 too.
00:18:38
Speaker
Okay. And so, and he's very open about, he's talked about it, and it's it's fascinating because it's like, this dude's like six-two. Yeah. I mean, a dude's like in an intimidating figure if you were to meet him. I mean, I'm looking up at him, and and he's this he's this, like, nicest dude ever. Yeah. And so, it's, you know, that's kind of that snapshot of the, am I safe? I like that.
00:19:03
Speaker
Yeah, and and the scramble again for those that are, you know, really the definition of that, at least how I'm hearing it, is when you can't answer the yes, you get stuck in the anxiety or fear or worry or depravity depravity of that and then do things to kind of avoid that feeling? Is that kind of what it is? Like doom scrolling or? Well, the it's like a hyper vigilance. Okay.
00:19:29
Speaker
And so I think for people that are, am I safe? And let's just go into question two, which is, am I secure? And because these two really, am I safe and so am I secure? They kind of, they have different core tenants, but it's kind of the same thing. So am I secure is usually, you know, the big idea is like, you're securing your finances, you're securing your relationships, you know, you're secure in your position or like whatever you're doing.
00:19:56
Speaker
And what you're trying to do is answer this, I am secure. You know, instead of a question like a statement of truth. And, you know, for someone who has this like number two question, am I secure? You know, when they're at their best, they're generous, they're connected.
00:20:14
Speaker
you know they Their security is in their financial you know standings or the quality of their relationships, their connections to your you're their extended family, their partner, their friends, and their kids. And you know it's funny because it's like the core fear is really not having enough of resources.
00:20:35
Speaker
yeah yeah And I think a lot of guys fall into that. I mean, i I do, you know, there's, you know, when you have three kids and you live in California, that's kind of, yeah yep it's a whole straddle really. And so it's, it's interesting because the funny thing is, is, and I've worked with a couple of guys that have this question and what it is, is their gift to the world is that they're building stable environments.
00:21:01
Speaker
Yeah, that's a beautiful gift to give. Yeah. Lourishing environments for everyone, you know. And and and you think about of some of the highest performers, they are continually building something around them to make sure that everyone is doing good. Yeah, yeah. When they might not feel like, am I secure? You know, and and for the Q2s in the world, you know,
00:21:27
Speaker
their kind of what we call the scramble of primal avoidance is just we'll they'll fixate on hoarding as much material resources.
00:21:38
Speaker
yeah possible to kind of try to force the yes that I am secure right yeah because if yeah it's in a way it's but it's anxiety driven in that state right if I'm if I'm doing that I don't really believe it because if I did believe it I wouldn't need to hoard and hold things right or control I can actually let go to be generous right so it's kind of and so when you're stuck in your scramble is that one that's when that would happen and the avoidance like I'll fix it okay And then what's the the kryptonite real quick? We didn't talk about that kryptonite. The kryptonite is financial and instability. So like our, you know, and and we can use kryptonite, we can use the scramble, you know, for me, am I safe? Like one of my kryptonites is surprises. And I get, and I, it's so funny because like, I know my wife loves surprises. I don't know if I cannot stand them. It is like, I'm like, Oh,
00:22:29
Speaker
right Oh my gosh, like what am I gonna do? you know And it's like, you just get that sinking feeling. And so it's it's really funny because safety, anything out of the ordinary affects that quality, that inner peace. And it's a practice. It's a practice to just keep that muscle memory going. And so like the MI secure, it's like financial instability. you know It's like people losing their jobs.
00:22:54
Speaker
yeah o yeah hours Hours getting cut. i mean I don't know how many guys or humans right now are just unfortunately going through a lot of ah this insecure financial insecurity. yeah yeah and so that's you know those Those two top questions, the Q1s, the Q2s, we have very similar overlaps, but there are definite strengths and weaknesses in both of them.
00:23:21
Speaker
Oh yeah, for sure. And yeah, definitely different too. um And actually for you, going back real quick to, am I safe? It makes sense, the anxiety too, right? Hypervigilant and on high alert, that's anxiety, right? That's fight flight. That's the flight mode of like, I gotta be anxiously alert and hyper, hyper aware of everything around me to people, to their emotional states, to just, I mean, everything. um And that's the scramble, that makes sense. um and I'm piecing this together in my head as we talk.
00:23:47
Speaker
and And you see it in person, you know, when you're sitting with clients, you know, when I'm sitting with clients. And the the hardest part is sometimes it's so glaring to you and I as we're sitting with someone. But then it's like, you just want to reach through, you know, the screen if I'm doing a Zoom session, just like, you're good, dude. You're good. you could You're good. You're good. It's beautiful. You're alive. We're here. You're gonna get through this.
00:24:10
Speaker
And so it's it's really funny because then we kind of move into these like emotional centers. And it's very similar. There are direct correlations between Maslow's hierarchies of needs, the integram, you know, and so you kind of have like, and I would say I am a one on the integram, you're a nine. That is the head triad.
00:24:32
Speaker
It is, you're right. You know, eight, nine, and one are the head triad. So when you move into like the um third triad, those are like the three, fours, and fives. So question number three, am I loved? This is like a heart center. This is an emotional. Yeah, it's like a two or something. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. And so, you know, for for people that fall into this question three of like, am I love?
00:25:00
Speaker
And my love, like their big idea is that love is the oxygen for your life. So when you are not receiving the love that you have searched for for so long, you start grasping and getting it everywhere else. This is where I see people with codependent tendencies. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
00:25:21
Speaker
And so it's it's interesting because for someone, they're kind of like when they're doing their best, it's like nurturing, they're kind, they're loving, they're empathetic. you know And when they're not, they can be self-abandoning.
Primal Questions in Relationships & Parenting Dynamics
00:25:36
Speaker
They can you know search for scraps or of love for wherever they can get it, whether it's you know worth investing that time or energy or not.
00:25:45
Speaker
you know and A huge thing for, again, this is where the emotional need for someone who has this am I loved question is feeling known, feeling seen, and emotionally being connected to others. I mean, how many people do we know that that subconscious question is driving the bus? Oh, majorly, majorly.
00:26:06
Speaker
It's, you know, and so, you know, the core fear is like being dismissed, not being seen, you know, and then their primal gift is really loving other people and meeting those other people where they're at.
00:26:21
Speaker
Yeah, which is great to see it when those people, those Q3 people, the question three, when they're able to really embody that because they they do have a gift of, and it's this care and love like no other, right? Which I guess is very similar to like a two right on the Enneagram. When someone's a healthy two, they could really give away love not to,
00:26:40
Speaker
be loved or to kind of give them love to to prove it, but to say they could really be generous and they really are like the ultimate generous lovers, nurturers, right? That are really just, they kind of, they are the epitome and epitine that they embody that so well. So it kind of reminds me of that.
00:26:55
Speaker
Well, and and I'm going to say this only because so my partner is a Q3. So she is an am I loved? Well, you know her. I know her. She's a dynamic marriage and family therapist who does nothing but show up and love people in their pain every day.
00:27:15
Speaker
you know And that's that whole gift to the world. you know For so those people, they are the, I don't want to say, they're the healers, they're the the coaches, they're the guides, they're the the um champions of humanity, really. And it's yeah it's this beautiful gift, but it's it's so easy to kind of like get into these, when their emotional needs are not being met, you know they get into these, you know they keep distance, they self isolate. And so,
00:27:42
Speaker
you know I have a couple of Q3s that I've worked through and I'm like, oh, this is is great. um you yeah Your gift is really loving other people for who they are. yeah yeah you know And so like, you know question number three is am I loved? Question number four is,
00:27:59
Speaker
Yeah, that's a big one. Am I wanted? Which is, it's so interesting because someone who has this question, when they're at their best, they just accept people where they're at. you know they They just live in that beauty of every day you know and just loving and seeing how amazing people are when you know a lot of us don't see that. you know the The hard part is is when they they they tend to lose themselves in loving other... you know you know They lose themselves in the everyday or they they they start giving away so much to everyone else that they forget their own needs. yeah They don't have boundaries with time.
00:28:43
Speaker
you know um And then they're they're afraid to be excluded and shunned, which as a recovering people pleaser and codependent, I was like, oh man.
00:28:56
Speaker
I could see where my traits totally were in this. And I mean, you see these people. I've worked with a lot of these people too, um that drive to be accepted and wanted. And I've seen it where the you know I look at the avoidance on the other end, it's like, oh yeah, I see that too. Just kind of isolation and weight, you know um rather than actually engaging and doing what they truly need.
00:29:22
Speaker
And that fear of being rejected is so powerful, like so powerful for some that I've worked with that it renders them kind of ah like kind of stuck in the mud and just yeah not knowing what to do next, you know? and And I think for people that have this question, this am I wanted?
00:29:40
Speaker
this this primal need really, that rejection is so painful. And and you know it's it's not just in it's just just a question of like of being rejected, but it's like being shunned, being excluded from the group. yeah you know Not being, you know there this am I wanted, their gift really is to open arm everyone. Yeah, yeah.
00:30:05
Speaker
And they do that out of this subconscious idea of just like, going okay, I'm accepting who you are. Can you accept who I am? And then the sad part is that where we get into these conflicts is like someone might have a different primal question and they they might be trying to, you know, they're trying to answer their yes with your yes. And it yeah then there's conflict, you know, and i I find too with the people that am I wanted, they've never been affirmed and answered that I am wanted. And so it's easy to go, I'll be the person you want me to be.
00:30:41
Speaker
Yeah, sure. Yeah, so to to morph themselves to be accepted and I can maybe even see some of these people, you know, maybe definitely staying in relationships that are not really healthy or effective for them because whether it's a romantic relationship, friend relationships, work relationships,
00:31:01
Speaker
I could see them kind of changing themselves to force acceptance because the fear of being alone and rejected is so powerful that they like that can't happen. So I can't really be me either. So I could see that kind of cloudedness come in. oh yeah You know, you know and and we all know, I hate to say this, but we all know that one person that stayed at the job way too many years.
00:31:21
Speaker
because they didn't they didn't want to hurt the feelings of their boss. And i'm like dude like and i I've told plenty of people, I was like, listen, it's admirable. It's beautiful, but you're not living in your true self, right which isn't easy. Right. It's not easy at all. No, not absolutely not easy. And so, yeah, it's it's super interesting.
00:31:42
Speaker
and Hey bud. Got a little pee? Yes. Awesome. I love it. I love it. It's so great. It sounds like a bathroom break. Yep. So intermission. This will be shortened so those that are listening won't have to sit through the long. Oh my gosh. So loud. He's gonna wake his sister up. I'll be right back. I'm gonna go help him get in his bed. I get it. And not slam the door. I'll be right back.
00:32:07
Speaker
When you gotta go, you gotta go. Trust me, man. I love it. I love it so much. Dad life. We're recording a podcast. Nine o'clock at night. Kids have to go pee.
00:32:21
Speaker
So now hopefully you enjoy the intermission everybody. um I hope you also took a bathroom break unless you're driving in your car. That would be weird. But I remember my dad would have pickled jars in the car on road trips and say, here you go buddy. And hopefully you figure out what I'm saying here. Pickled jar was the toilet.
00:32:39
Speaker
you You know what's really great? Because I have two older boys, is now I have the, and i'm i'm this is not a plug, but they have a thing called the original p-jug. And it is a real gift for dads on a long road trip. Okay, it's a p-jug. I'm guessing it's much more effective than a pickle jar. Yes, it was developed by a long haul trucker. And I was like, I love this. i check What's it called again? It's called the original p-jug.
00:33:07
Speaker
the original PJ, I'll have to check it out. Okay, that should be good to have. Dad tips. No, dad tips. I mean, again, we just had the kosher dill pickle jars, you know, that took the that had the label off and then just put the but the lid back on and stick it in the back and, you know, next rest stop dumping the toilet. So again, great intermission. um Perfect.
00:33:29
Speaker
Now we're back. So hopefully you're feeling really wanted right now. Yes. Those that are listening. Yes. So it's funny cause those two questions, am I love and I wanted, am I wanted? You know, they show up in all of our lives, even in certain times. And I think it's really beautiful because it allows, you know, when I work with clients too, is, is this self-ref, like, like self-reflection of like, oh, I'm kind of falling into these characteristics and these,
00:33:58
Speaker
traits of this time where it could be season. And so the next question went, and this is these last three are kind of a doozy for a lot of guys. And this is something that I i find it's very interesting because it's through a different lens of like metric. you know yeah And so you know question five is, am I successful? Yeah, that's a big one.
00:34:22
Speaker
And you know for for two of us, you know really the big idea is that success isn't measured by what you have. ye And you know it's it's interesting because you know I think all of us struggle a little bit with this as you know a father, a partner, you know parent,
00:34:43
Speaker
you know And it's interesting because for me, teaching my boys too and my daughter, you know I'm like, am I successful? And I'm always like, listen, if you're confident, which is kind of the snapshot of this is like, are you confident? Are you focused? And are you improving on everything you're starting to kind of come in contact with?
00:35:03
Speaker
you know, and having a seventh grader, you know, we went to his after school orientation today. And ah the gentleman that leads it was like, listen, I don't want to know your reality at home. He goes, I want to know your hopes and dreams. And i he goes, I want to help you guys become successful in the things that you want. And I'm sitting there on this picnic bench.
00:35:24
Speaker
And I've got my first and third grader with me too because we all had to walk to the middle school. And i I just, I looked at this man and I was like, I don't know this person. And he is speaking really about what success is and he's instilling it in these seventh, you know, sixth, seventh, eighth graders.
Importance of Engaging with Primal Questions
00:35:44
Speaker
yeah And I was like, this is powerful stuff. And I literally looked at my son who's 12 and I go, what did he just say? He goes, I want to know, he wants to know my hopes and dreams. And I was like, that is success. And he wants to help you reach those. And so it's funny because like that whole, am I successful?
00:36:01
Speaker
you know You know, when we're not answering that I am successful, we're usually workaholics. We're i we i then we're overworking, we're trying to over focus on winning our achievements. I mean, you run the men's group. Oh, I see a lot of that in men for sure. I mean, time right and since you work with men a lot, and so do I, what's their what's the biggest downfall of that question?
00:36:31
Speaker
the biggest downfall. what is what is the What is the kryptonite of am I successful? Yeah, failing like not failing and not getting it, right? And whether it's the job or the promotion or the sale or whatever, and then a hundred percent right downward spiral, you know?
00:36:49
Speaker
I mean, how many men do we know that you know got laid off or or made a mistake? Made a mistake that maybe they didn't they weren't they weren't you know honest with the mistake or something happened. you know and And it was company policy like, hey man, like I'm so sorry. like you know, we have to let you go. You know, for that question, am I successful? When we are kind of in that stressful, that that scramble and we have a fail, like we fail at something, you know, for most guys, we don't have that kind of language to be like, oh my God, like I failed.
00:37:28
Speaker
Oh yeah. We do everything else. I mean, that's why we're Callism. I mean, you name it. We just start going, oh my gosh, like because we as men, we're never taught. the It's just part of life and you learn from your failures.
00:37:45
Speaker
Yeah, oh, majorly. Yeah, and if you're not taught that, you know i think of I think of those, and this is not everybody, and this is not every parent, but I'm thinking of quite a few men that I've worked with, and and women too, on this same and same vein, that you know they they're praised for their victories, you know and and in some extreme cases, you know and and in perfection.
00:38:09
Speaker
right yeah so hundred percent And anything other than 100 would be a failure. So a 99 would be considered a failure in the home because the parent um would say, well, you know, why not get an A plus? Like what happened? Versus, you know, you know these are 95, why not a 97? So it's always, there's always never, they're always failing. they're They're never successful. And so they get stuck in this internal trap. And in this case, look at the primal question, is the kryptonite failing? And so then they,
00:38:36
Speaker
They kind of work, work, work, work, trying to prove, improve, improve, and then might even you know do things, lie, cheat, steal, whatever, to cut corners to ensure success. And and it's so interesting because that's that's part of – so we have these different layers to these questions. And like part of this question, it's what we call the primal avoidance. And so it's kind of – where if you're kind of in that, you're not feeling that I am successful, you're looking for easy wins. You're looking for guaranteed success. You're kind of, you're like, I want to look like I'm successful. So you start like being concerned more about like buying the expensive watch.
00:39:15
Speaker
You know, buying stuff to to give the appearance of success. i mean that is you know I mean, how many people do we know that that has been their downfall?
00:39:28
Speaker
Oh yeah. Well, in the way of a society that pushes that too. So it makes it easy for them to even stay stuck in that downfall, right? In a way it was a society that promotes that on top of it. So it's easy for those guys to end women to in a way buy into that narrative and get stuck and trapped and maybe get a bunch of debt too. I mean, you know what I mean? Like that that could be at the really dark end of it is that now they have all this debt and which causes more stuff and that to keep the facade up.
00:39:54
Speaker
in
Musical Tastes & Live Performance Memories
00:39:55
Speaker
And you know what's so funny is like, so when I've worked with both men and women with this question, it's so interesting because their biggest fear is failure. It's like their downfall. But their gift to the world is they help everyone win.
00:40:09
Speaker
Yeah, which is so beautiful when you think about it and that's what they're missing out when they're stuck because and their gift is like an amazing gift. Oh, yeah, and it's it's funny because there's this great example in in the Primal Questions book where Mike works with this guy who's had like a net worth of like $500 million. dollars So, I mean, he works with really high performers and he was at, am I successful? His company was successful. He still just couldn't answer that question. Yes, and that oh that's something else that you say that, sorry, is that these guys often, or women, they are, but the but but they're in their head they're not, because it's still the perfection. but It's like, you look at, you're like, wait a second, look at all this stuff. like Look at, you are successful. you know But that the the disconnect is so strong, like that ravine between
00:40:56
Speaker
actually bill ants right now and it's so interesting because like I've had a lot of different jobs in my life and I've I've worked in custom home building for a really long time and we've I've built some houses you know because both my dad and I are contractors and we've built some houses for clientele I mean that are I mean these guys are so successful yet they're just still constantly pushing that that And I'm just like, I'm like sitting there just going, man, I'm building you this like 4,000 square foot house, which is stunning. I mean, and I'm like, and they're going, well, do you think it's it's going to be good enough? And I'm just like, okay, well, clearly you can have it all and still not answer that question. I am successful.
00:41:39
Speaker
And it's, you know, and and that's the beautiful thing with like this, these kind of questions, because it's like, you can reframe it and put it in new perspective for anyone at any, any level of success.
00:41:51
Speaker
Well, and again, going back to them is like, you know, move on to the next question is that these guys and women, you know, it's, they're stuck. The lie is that they're stuck, that they're measuring their success based on material things, often money or home or a job, right? Rather than who they are, like them, their personhood, right? And that's where they get trapped.
00:42:11
Speaker
And it's interesting because this is one that I i parked cars at one time back in you know my younger days. So I had a lot of interesting jobs. And um you know which which one that I always kind of in this question is I would always see sometimes the one where it was like the guy trying to get the the trophy girl. And then once he got that, he was like, well, I'm like this ah i'm successful now because I got I got the one. Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, that's, I'm great, like great, that's gonna last six months. And you're gonna, you're gonna, one day you're gonna just wake up and just go, oh gosh, you know. And so it's interesting because that, am I successful? It kind of leads to this question six, which is, am I good enough?
00:42:55
Speaker
you know And it's so hard, and this one, it's it's an interesting one because I think to growing up in a religious system, you know a huge part of, you know ah and and I don't mean this in any bad way, it's just sometimes we got the messages that we weren't good enough and we had to just keep earning.
00:43:15
Speaker
you know And it's funny because this, am I good enough? So much of what the big idea is, is that your you're hustling for your value. you you know You're kind of looking to be appreciated and accepted for all that you are. yeah And it's their highest emotional need is really having their uniqueness be fully recognized and valued for who they are.
00:43:42
Speaker
and It's interesting because this this question, the question six, which is, am I good enough? These are the people that create value for everyone. And I can honestly say, I see your contribution with the podcast, the coaching, you are creating so much value for this audience.
00:44:04
Speaker
no And I mean, you're doing it out of your love and your compassion and just to help people grow into their most authentic self. And it's so interesting. and you know It's like you maximize what is, you you see the potential in people you know and it's that whole, am I good enough? you know But then when we're not getting this question answered, you know it's like,
00:44:27
Speaker
Oh, okay. They're very self-judgmental. They can be very um defensive. This is where that shame piece comes in. you know And for some of us that grew up you know in religious systems, you know sometimes that shame piece that we got told, like, you know you're not good enough. you know For some of us, we internalized that and that kind of didn't allow us to step into our full, like, we are good enough question. Yeah.
00:44:56
Speaker
Well, in reading this, you know, because I've done a lot of work, you know, I kind of relate to a few questions, but this one, I see, because I, would you know, I'm and i'm a type of nine on the Enneagram, which links to a three, which is kind of this good enough question. Although in the type, the core of a type nine though, not that I'm bringing another person on my inventory into this is that, but the core of a type nine is like this inner piece. um And I kind of see it as a blending of like this, am I good enough with like,
00:45:23
Speaker
Am I wanted? It's almost like a blending of a couple of these states, um these questions. And so when I was more yeah when i was younger in my 20s and like late teens, I think I found myself operating more out of self-judgment, a lot of shame, not enough, you know trying to prove my worth of being enough. And then also at the same time, trying to be accepted right and i'm not being rejected. So I see that I'm kind of in these two camps a lot.
00:45:52
Speaker
um Now that I've done a lot of work, you know I think I'm operating a little more out of the truth more often than not. But the one thing I tend to get stuck on, which stood out to me on the the am I good enough where I still get stuck is not so much self-judgment. That's not really strong like it used to be when I was younger. I don't overperform like I used to.
00:46:12
Speaker
um And the shame is definitely not as intense because I've done a lot of work around my shame narrative, which is, you know, am I good enough? that yeah That's definitely my shame message for sure. And I've done a lot of work identifying that and and realizing, no, that I am. But the one that comes up for me is the defensiveness. I'll get that. um yeah And the thing that, why I relate to this question too is if I look at the the core fear for sure I relate to is is yeah you being thought of as negative, like negatively thought of or criticized. And that to me, I've had a lot of experience in my life looking back and I think a lot of my hurt, core wounding has come from when people have
00:46:52
Speaker
made a judgment, often inaccurate judgment of me, and then i can't actually i can't actually and they and they don't want to listen to my side or hear me. And I've had a few events in my life, you know, reflecting back where there's been a few big ones where really wounded and in and in pain, but the person, there was no allowance for me to actually have a, just share, like, hey, here's my side of it and here's where I'm coming from. It's like, there's a snap judge that made of me and I couldn't defend myself, not be defensive, but I couldn't defend myself and say, here's, hear me out, right? yeah And that was really painful for me, you know? oh
00:47:33
Speaker
And I just tell you, like, I believe you because that pain is so real. and It's interesting because, you know, for this one, am I good enough? You know, the real kryptonite for for people that have this kind of core question is criticism. Oh, yeah. Big time. A hundred percent. And so it's it's interesting because to this question, the am I good enough?
00:47:55
Speaker
is where people see themselves, I'm a victim of this life. I am, you know, I am, they they shut down, they refuse to engage. And then sometimes they overcompensate of like, they come up with these elaborate defenses of like, you know, it's because I did this and because of this. And you know, I think it's interesting. Proving all the points that like, here's why, yeah. and and it And it's so sad because what it really comes down to, is that am I good enough and And I see this from a place of understanding family of origin stuff. It comes from a place of not being affirmed that you're worthy to be here and you have you're worthy of being in this family. I mean, i i can you know I've sat with a lot of people, both men and women in this question. And is it's one of the most heartbreaking things to be like, you're worthy to be here.
00:48:47
Speaker
yeah and and and And I've been working with a client who had a pretty traumatic um childhood. And I had a session with him this week and I just said, Hey man, like, you know, your gift to the world is that you're still here. yeah And I said, yeah worthy of of taking these breaths.
00:49:04
Speaker
And I'm, you know, I am here with you. And I, I mean, my heart just, I mean, and it's so hard as you, and you know, too, when you when you sit with people in their pain, it's both an honor for for all of us.
00:49:19
Speaker
And it's also, it's this terrible Shakespearean tragedy of like, you just love them so much. And yet you feel so, so much of their pain that you're just like, I mean, I literally told the guy, like, told my client, I just want to give you a hug through this screen. Yeah. To let you know that you're okay. You are good enough.
00:49:40
Speaker
Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a big one. it's this This one, and I see it a lot, especially with younger generational you know um people. And you know i this is where I usually go back and kind of do a little family of origin narrative. you know what was the What was the family message? What was the message you were taught? What was it both overt and covert?
00:50:04
Speaker
And and and that's ah that's a big one. you know And it's it's so funny because that whole good enough, it kind of leads us into this question seven, which is, do I have a purpose? And especially now, especially in this, I don't know, this, I would say ever since 2020 and the COVID and and you know kind of the shaking,
00:50:27
Speaker
of the the you know basket or whatever you want it, you know kind of waking a lot of people up. you know It's like this question, do I have a purpose? you know It's like when people that have this question that drives them, you know they're they're trying to answer this question, I am living my purpose. That is the question that they're trying to do. Oh, yeah.
00:50:48
Speaker
you know, and when they're at their best, they're forward thinking, they're visionaries, they're seeing new ways to yeah help people, you know, and create things that bring change, you know, for all of us. I mean, you and I have been in this dialogue for a long time, and I've watched the transformation of both the podcast, the brand, the website, and even your work, you know, and it's it's so interesting because You are creating change for especially you know you know targeted towards cisgendered males and really
00:51:24
Speaker
That gift to us is just waking up, like helping us step into our you know are our so our soul's calling, you know are our Dharma, whatever you want to call it. you know There's many different words, but it's like, what makes us the best version of us in our world? yeah And you know i I see that with this podcast. I see it with your work, you know everything. you know And it's it's funny because really the big idea is to this whole, do I have a purpose is to unburden yourself from the problems of figuring out your purpose. So kind of taking all that like, what's my, what's my purpose, you know, and when you start to live your purpose,
00:52:10
Speaker
you are, you know, creating the movements, you're making the world a better place, you are helping unlock other people's purpose, which is so cool. I mean, that's I love doing this coaching, because when and and you know, when you watch a client, and you kind of lay out like for me as a coach, I can prescribe action items, you know, and I can go, okay, hey, let's try one new thing. And we're going to do one new thing. And I want you to try and just Write this down and give yourself 90 days because 90 days is where new habit and change starts to happen. You know, and I when I see that with a client, I'm just like, thank God, because they are becoming the person that they want to be and they're starting to lean into that purpose. but And it's really just that it's those little shifts.
00:52:59
Speaker
you know And it's the core fear of this question is pointless work and meaningless toil. And we know that so well because we've all lived that question a few times.
00:53:12
Speaker
Yeah, I would agree with that. yeah I mean, I know I have. you know and there's still so There's still some days where I'm just like, am I doing my am i really got this purpose? like ah am i i am i you know Do I have this purpose? And then I have to reflect on myself and just go, but I do have a purpose.
00:53:29
Speaker
Yep. Sometimes it's not always clear, you know, because we go through those periods of habituation where you're doing something, you know, for a long time, that spark starts to die. And it's all about reframing that like, no, this is my purpose. And, you know, and I always suggest to my clients, like, because a lot of them have, you know, side hustles or whatever you want to call it. I'm like, you know what, add something new, or go do something new, just to bring some of that spark back into your life.
00:53:59
Speaker
Oh, totally. Because it will bring that purpose back to the forefront. You know, and I think it's interesting because really when with this question, kind of where people get bogged down is getting caught up trying to find the right purpose. Yeah, yeah. It's like trying to find the one in relationship, right? It's like, I had to find the right one. Oh, right. I mean, how many times have you heard that?
00:54:25
Speaker
Oh, big time. Oh, majorly, so many times. I gotta find the one, I'm like, well, I hate to break it to you, but yeah. So yeah, and those people, I think they're stuck in that. That's their that' their question is the, yeah especially when that's their focus, you know, is the right thing, the perfect thing. And I think it's interesting too, like with this one, like hat like the Q7s in the world, which are the, you know, do I have a purpose? You know, they're the ones doing,
00:54:53
Speaker
beautiful things, both social change, both to trying to improve people's lives, you know, in a meaningful way, because they're adding meaning. And so much that they operate out of this place of like, I'm trying to find my purpose, so I'm going to help everyone else live their best life.
00:55:09
Speaker
Yeah, and it's funny when I hear all these, not funny, but when I hear all of these um questions and it kind of reminds me, you know, like the Enneagram, like when we're operating out of our best, it's all about like community and relationship. It's not about self.
00:55:24
Speaker
it's all about you know and if we go through like the gift it's like the you know am i safe is like able to make other people feel safe and protected the am i secure people is able to build these environments and then generosity and the um i love people as they could care for others, physical, emotional needs. The wanted people is they're inclusive and welcoming and powerful builders and connectors, which I relate to that, the connecting and team builders. The successful people is the helping everybody win. The am I good enough is value making for others and maximizing what is and seeing possibilities, which I really relate to that.
00:56:03
Speaker
and then the purpose people is right they create projects and movements that make better for everybody so you know which is always a beautiful thing it's ah not about me individually this one body but about like us me like we to i think quote to quote uh dan seagull muy right i think he just said that oh yeah we the dance the interconnected book it's like it's about our connection towards with each other and with society with the world and that's I think in the end also we find our purpose and meaning for all of those number questions is that it's about we give this gift away. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know.
00:56:39
Speaker
And it's interesting because I do a lot of just individual work, but in couples work, I mean, I i have a wonderful couples therapist that my partner and I have seen. um you know And it's funny because where I see conflict with couples that use this, you know it's like I'm a Q1, my wife's a Q3. She's trying to answer that question, I am loved. And I'm like trying to answer that question, I am safe.
00:57:07
Speaker
Well, when you have different relational styles and you have different relational questions, I mean, where do you just, you just keep missing each other. So it's so beautiful because we all have a different question and it's very rare for a couple to have the same question. Yeah. I think, I think that's accurate. Yeah.
00:57:26
Speaker
And it's funny because I'm a huge fan of ah Terrence Reel or Terry Reel. He's a really beautiful, you know, he's the creator of relational life therapy. And I read his book, Us, just recently. And it was so cool because I was, I mean, everything I read now, I'm like, okay, well, like, how do I apply this, you know, to what I'm doing? You know, and even for a lot of us, our childhood questions,
00:57:53
Speaker
Really, sometimes our childhood question is showing up slightly in a different variation. Yeah, right. Yeah. and it's no different than in couples work and in using the promo question for couples, it's moving from you and me to us. Totally, right. Yeah, it has to move outside of self. Yeah. Right, which in some way is a little with some of what's out there, some of the rhetoric and social media stuff out there that to some degree that's counterculture to some of the the individual stuff that's so promoted often.
00:58:29
Speaker
about you my feelings, my truth, my, um you know, my whatever, and which in the end is more isolating than not, um because what I see is that actually when we're able to fully give ourself away, obviously in a help and obviously an effective way, not when we're over giving to our detriment, because that's actually, that would be, according to problem of question, you're probably stuck in your scramble or your fear, right? You're not actually operating in your true authentic self,
00:58:58
Speaker
it's the it's the It's the false, you know, forced, you know, whatever self, ah masked self. And so it's actually not really giving it away because there's still this, you're not giving it because really you're hoping for something in return to actually fill you rather than I can actually really give this away and be at rest and at peace and know who I am. um and And I think that is counterintuitive, counterculture to like what I see a lot of stuff out there. Well, and it's it's so interesting because it goes for both couples work, and then also parenting. Yeah. And and it's, as as we, you know, kind of talk about this renaissance of really showing up for our families in new authentic ways. You know, when you have, like, it's it's interesting because, like, my oldest is 12, and I think he's got a little touch of the anxiety. Sorry, buddy. You know, I i might have given that a little. Minus two, who's seven.
00:59:54
Speaker
Yeah. It's interesting because like you know with my primal question, I'm like, oh man, if he's got that little bit, like I want to make sure he feels safe. So he's not trying to answer that question. Yeah.
01:00:09
Speaker
And you know and it's it's it's beautiful both as a gift to connect, but also I don't wanna pass down my scramble or my coping methods or whatever. you know And it's it's interesting because when you two, we and i I fully agree with what you said about some of the rhetoric in online presence or online spaces where it's like, you can have it all. And my favorite is like, yeah, you can have it all, but not all at once.
01:00:38
Speaker
you know And it's funny because you know moving, you know moving from you know, ah you and me to us well, especially in the parenting space some of the things like it's like Mmm Yeah, you can't. You can't do it all. Like there is more of a sacrifice on the parenting end. I don't care what you say. And if you're doing it the other way, you got it wrong. That's my opinion. If you're, you know, a hundred percent, like, yeah, this doesn't probably separate podcast conversations. But a side note, that's another one, that because it's just like at that point, you know, if you make it about you, like, no, yourre your kid's gonna learn that then. he's goingnna and They're gonna they're going to take that on, that they're not important, that they're not valued, that they're not enough, that they're second. Now, I'm not saying to kill yourself over it, but you need to care for yourself as best you can, but at the end, you have to sacrifice as the adult, not the child.
01:01:38
Speaker
it's it's so It's so fascinating because, you know, we we both have done so much soul excavation. Yeah. And we continue to do. And I mean, Oh, yeah, I continue. Yeah.
01:01:49
Speaker
it's It's so beautiful because I have an individual therapist I see. We have a couple therapists we see. I'm our coaching cohort. We meet twice a week, plugged in. And it was interesting because ah kind of like to I always like to think this through you know when you get married, you essentially marry your unfinished trauma because your partner reflects out on you. But marriage is solving problems that only two people can solve. Yep.
01:02:16
Speaker
And then when you start adding to that family, well, if you're looking at the family, this is your end, you're encountering problems that your family has to solve. And that is where you start to stretch and grow. And then you can also see yourself both as part of this organism, worth the system, but then also go, well, my job is to make my children and their lives Not easy, but easier for them to tackle the problems that they're facing individually. yeah and their one Yeah, right. And then again, if you take it in the lens of problem question, you see that.
01:02:59
Speaker
You can't give all the gifts away, which is why no it's a system. But your gift has a direct impact on your spouse, on your kids, on your home environment, and then so does your spouse's gift. And then so as your and then part of the joy is we get to foster our children, like speak the truth into our children, into their gift set.
01:03:20
Speaker
and notice when they get stuck in their scramble or whatever that we could speak the truth of what they need to hear and kind of plant and water and nurture that seed. So it's like you're giving them that kind of gift and helping that muscle grow. And yeah, yeah it is ah it's very much, ki it's all it's communal, it's community, it's relationship. um And the reason why this makes sense to me, it's like, <unk> I've seen so many people, I've lost count at this point. yeah I don't even know. It's been 10 years of seeing people, and I don't know the number anymore. Easily over a thousand, if not more. And not one time have I had someone, unless they're a sociopath, and I've never actually worked with a real sociopath, but I know people have.
01:03:58
Speaker
But I've never had one person come in at the core of who they are, not have a relational wound of one of these questions or other ones of- Right. And at the end, it's about being connected in some shape or fashion. ah There's that one person that that hasn't been true. And so the lie of making it about you and your needs first is is is like a enticing in one hand. I think it's also, I think it's actually a false, a fool's errand because, or a red herring because if that's If you take that to the extreme, you're going to end up in the same place with that relational wound not actually being answered or healed or addressed because you just might mask it differently um by this idea of this, it's about me and my so and my truth and my thing. But ah behind that mask is still that massive wound that it's like festering um and and longing to to be answered, like in the primal question answers, like longing to be answered in its truth.
01:04:56
Speaker
you know And I i think that it's so interesting because, you know, I've done therapy for 15 years. And I mean, I've i mean i'm i've been in therapy for 15 years. And it's it's so fascinating because ah my partner is, I mean, we've been together for 15. She got licensed like the year after we got married. So she's been doing therapy for 14 years. And when I started to come to this work, I remember just Sometimes she would, you know, let me know, let me, you know, I'm a little inside of like what she was, you know, some of the problems that she was working on and with no names, no nothing, you know, full confidence, confidentiality. Totally. But it's so interesting because, and even looking at the friends of my youth,
01:05:41
Speaker
the friends of my college, my the work colleagues that I've worked with. I now see how everyone carries one of these questions, at even at at certain seasons. And at the core of it, you know when you're living in and you you are answering that primal question, you just get to be the best version of you.
01:06:01
Speaker
yeah Yeah, which is like a non-anxious, non-striving, non-shaming, non-critical place where you can be in tune, be at rest, find a sense of groundedness.
01:06:20
Speaker
You really get to embody like what love I think is, right? um Yeah, which is really about giving away and Want and willing and wanting the best of the person persons around you. Yeah. um Yeah You know when I look at all the the primal gift It's like that's what I see how I see love because love is more than one thing. It's a lot of things.
01:06:43
Speaker
and But it's a non-anxiousness. It's a non-striving. It's a non-striving. It's really like this grounded, calm, connected, whole, raw gift.
01:07:00
Speaker
um Yeah. it's It's interesting because this is something that, you know as I've been doing this work and seeing a lot of my clients, you know and I always tell them, you've always been good. yeah you always You always were good, you just didn't know it.
01:07:16
Speaker
yeah And yeah I said, all we're going to do is just build a little bit better you. <unk> good And I said, what we what we really want to do with is we want to answer this question and we want to move you from a human doer to a human being.
01:07:33
Speaker
yeah Yeah, human doing to a human being, a human doer. I like that. And that's when you are present, you're connected. Right. And you don't have to strive. No. There's no proving.
01:07:48
Speaker
And it's so funny because like for that whole safe thing, you know, taking risks for me is, you know, one of the hardest things because it's like, it's not, it's a safety issue. Sure. And then, and then it's so beautiful because especially after you, if you listen to the first episode, you get kind of hear that backstory and, you know. Yeah, definitely listen to it. Go back and listen if you have it.
01:08:12
Speaker
Yeah, and and I literally, and because I was a human doer, and you know now i i I can recognize when I am a human being. And and you know today was a perfect example. I took the day off from work.
01:08:28
Speaker
um Because my partner is actually in Canada doing a therapeutic training and I wrestled with taking the day off and I realized I'm never gonna get this chance to be present for my first day of school for my seventh grader my third grader and my daughter going to first grade and I just I remember waking up this morning and I was just like just gonna be that human being I'm gonna be that present dad sure the money it is what it is I can always work more and but I will never get this moment of being present yeah with my kids yeah ever again. And, you know, answering that safety question, like taking off work is like a thing. And I just remember, oh my God, I i just remember getting home after picking them all up today and we we got, it was a half day and I took them to the beach and I watched them play on the beach and I was just like, that's awesome.
01:09:24
Speaker
Like this is one of the best, this is the best first day of school I think I can remember. That's success, that's safety, that's human being, that's love, that's connection. yeah I'll never get it back. Yeah. No, you're right. And you know if you're at if you're if you're sitting there listening, still, I hope you are, um wondering, you know why should I care about another personality thing? well Modality. you know Call it a modality. Modality. Well, you know, I think Sam answered it very beautifully, you know, in his own way. Let's speak to him that, you know, he was able to be present and enjoy and not be in fear of so of financial security, but say, hey, I'll never get this back. And choosing that to give away his gift of just being, creating a sense of safety and connection with his kids, like, that's the gift. And so I think the answer to that is like, you really going back full circles, like you get to be fully authentic. 100%.
01:10:17
Speaker
And so, you know, if you wanna ask, why should I care? Well, there's your answer. um that's That's why, that's why you should care. It's because you have an impact on everyone around you. And if you're a dad, your kids, if you're a mom, your kids, right? your And your spouse, right? your Your husband, your wife, partner, whatever, like, it's a direct impact.
01:10:36
Speaker
And um yeah, so if we want to buy the book, The Last Two Questions, or work with Sam, where where where is that? Where do we get it? Okay, we so you you can get the book on Amazon, Mike Foster, or on the website, Mike Foster, Primal Questions Coaching. You can find me at sampowerscoaching.com. Links will be in the description, by the way, links below. I have a very simple landing page. um My social media strategy is No strategy. I'm just kidding.
01:11:07
Speaker
i i i'm staying What's ironic is I'm staying busy you know with coaching where I'm like, i mean this is the most but like epic thing ever, and i'm I'm going to roll out some more videos. It's okay. It's not all that's cracked out to be outside right now. You're better for it, Sam.
01:11:24
Speaker
and i met like i mean People can email me at sampowerscoaching dot.com. You can find me on Instagram. I don't post much at Swami Powers.
01:11:36
Speaker
It's a play on my name. It's, Swami's is also my favorite surf spot in San Diego. And then unbeknownst to me, I had to look up what the name of Swami was and it was like Wisdom Holder. And I was like, wow, that's, you know. Yeah, that's rad. That's kind of rad. And so, and you can also find me on my wife's Instagram quite a bit at Chrissy J. Powers. You can, you show up a lot. Because I always make some guest posts because she's the social media maverick.
01:12:03
Speaker
So, but you can find me in those spots. Feel free to reach out. And, um, yeah, I just want to say thank you so much, Travis. Yeah. Um, before we hang up. Wait, wait, wait. Last question. yeah Last question, which I started with you, which is going to seem weird because of what I'm releasing your, our first episode is that I'm, I've been asking this question. I was like the music question, which I down do all the time. So what are you currently listening to? It's what's been hitting you this, this week musically. Oh, well, I'm gonna go, like, and I go old school because I have iTunes, I still have Apple Music. Nice. Okay, so I've been listening to Ermanos Guterres. Okay. It's these two brothers that make this. Ermanos, yep, yep. Ermanos, they, they, their newest album is called Son de Ditor Cosmico, so like cosmic sounds and
01:12:56
Speaker
They're kind of like Karambin, but if you were in Baha. Okay. phenomenal, kind of so kind of vibey, really beautiful. And i I formerly played a lot of music in my teens and my 20s and even in my 30s. And I spent a lot of years in piano lessons and I've played a lot of music. So I have a really diverse musical background. And I competed in the National Piano gallery Guild for a decade. Wow. Look at that.
01:13:30
Speaker
Who knew? so So I have this appreciation for like classical music, but I've been listening to those guys, Sleep Token, which is this kind of metal. ah they're I love heavy metal music. um The Joseph Day's Experience live album.
01:13:49
Speaker
Okay. Live in Malibu, it is a very avant garde jazz album. He's a drummer, but he's a musician. And so for me, I played bass for a lot of years. So I have a real soft spot for time keepers, but that are also musicians. You know, um, I've been listening to, uh, the album charm by Clario. Okay. She's this songstress, amazing, um, chaperone.
01:14:20
Speaker
Her, like, I love her stuff. Battlesnakes, which is this, like... Yeah, want to have we have an array of stuff you're looking to lately, man. It's just, you have a range. It's like... My favorite thing is um the Face Melt playlist. Face Melt's playlist on Spotify. Yeah. They do a new one every month. I i mean, the new King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard album, which is...
01:14:46
Speaker
very Grateful Dead kind of mixed with the Allman Brothers and if, i could job you know, like Humble Pie was like throwing in some tunes because I am all over. Yeah, not to tell. Oh, um helock Hemlock Springs. um Have you heard Hemlock Springs? I have not. It's like kind of 80s, like Cyndi Lauper dance music.
01:15:10
Speaker
Oh, and i okay. I love it. Is it kind of fun? Kids dance to it. a kid um I'm re-listening to Mezzanine by Massive Attack, the remastered. Okay. Yeah. And I know that one. Yep. Teardrops. Every time I hear that song, I just say, I think of Jeff Buckley because it's about him yeah and when he passed and then, um, Barry can't swim.
01:15:35
Speaker
youre you Man, you got a it's like ah you it's a journey over there. you know It's just they're hitting everything. you know Oh, yeah. And then Prof, I love Prof, hit his album, Horsey's this white rapper. I mean, it sounds like if Beck did a bunch of PCP with the 3.6 Mafia, while the Dust Brothers and the Chemical Brothers were mixing the album, why it is phenomenal.
01:15:58
Speaker
phenomenal and I have a background in recording. yes And so my the way that I listen to music, regardless of the genre, every musician is telling a story. We just aren't always acquainted with those stories or those cultures. yeah And it's kind of our job, I think for me as a musician, is to listen.
01:16:22
Speaker
and go, wow, this is a powerful story. And I mean, and there's a lot of cheese out there. God, I love, I love some good cheese music. Oh yeah. Big time. I mean, how's this, I just scored tickets to see Mariah Carey's Christmas tour at the Hollywood Bowl. My wife's like bucket list and no joke. I was like, I, if my 20 year old self, but if my 20 year old self, now, I mean, I mind you, I got nosebleeds.
01:16:48
Speaker
Mariah Carey and the Christmas tour, that is, yeah, like, yeah, it's one of those like, you don't want to admit it, but like, yeah, I could, I could sit to that. i I have, I am so unapologetic when it comes to, I love, like Katy Perry, I love, I mean, but I love the Go-Go's. But specifically the Mariah Carey Christmas tour, like that's very specific, it's not Mariah Carey, it's Mariah Carey Christmas tour. So, you know what I can't wait to see the videos you record. Oh, I won't be recording any videos, but my wife will. yeah well And and ironically on those yeah ironically, the next live show we're going to go see is Ray Lamontagne and Gregory Allen Isaacoff. I would love that show, but we're kants we're in Scotland, I think. Oh, I know. yeah and Which is it is what it is. Shoot. The last time I saw Ray Lamontagne was the Hollywood Bull.
01:17:43
Speaker
I love that venue. It's such a good venue. And the bowl he played with the L.A. Philharmonic. Philharmonic, yeah. yeah yeah and Such a great show. And even better is the openers were Blitz and Trapper, which I love. I love Blitz and Trapper. And then Jenny Lewis.
01:18:00
Speaker
Oh God, okay, that's a great show right there. That's a great show. Great show. And so for me, my music, I don't know, some people are like scared when I was like, ah give me the aux cord. let me And they're like, oh no. yeah So let me turn that on you. What are you listening to? Well, if you're still listening at this point, for you know currently,
01:18:23
Speaker
not as eclectic I think ah as you does Sam um I think right now um there's this I also do like soundscape music I like just to think so there's a new record by Novo Amor and Oh, I love, I love. I love Novo Amor, but this is just ah it's music only. It's Novo Amor and Endel. It's called the Antartican Dream Machine. So it's a relaxed soundscape. But it's and it's like it's like an hour long. um So not that long. But yeah, it's just kind of like movement music. I also like Liminal by Siguras. I've been listening to that too. Their Liminal Space, right. It's just kind of just like movements and stuff and quiet.
01:19:09
Speaker
um And then, you know, I've been doing some more, been doing early morning workouts. And so obviously I got a workout playlist. So, you know, a lot of rage on there, rage against the machines, been hitting hard. And so that's like, that's just been fun to kind of do that. And some Foo Fighters and some other, other stuff that's like not crazy eclectic, but it's like, yeah, that hits it hits one. Tell tell me you're listening. You got a little deaf tones in there too.
01:19:34
Speaker
Ensign Deftones, Linkin Park, you know, all that kind of stuff. Have you been in, have you listened to the idols? No. Okay, let me. the idols. okay but then I was on vacation a couple weeks ago and I met a person who does music licensing you know at where we were staying and I asked him I said hey man like what are you listening to and he's like oh my gosh and so he started name-dropping some bands he's like have you heard the idols and I was like oh I love the idols so they're kind of this I love all the kind of like
01:20:06
Speaker
post punk hardcore kind of noise rock and idols man they they i want to go see him live there they put on a show like but they are they're abrasive they're they're just awesome But I also love kind of all that old-school stuff from like New York back in the day, the Ramones, television, Patti Smith, all of that kind of stuff, you know talking heads and that post-punk. um But the new Jane's Addiction song that is bringing me back and I was like, um and Turnstyle, a band called Turnstyle, and they kind of have that early 90s rock and roll. I really love them.
01:20:50
Speaker
Yeah, I kind of sounds like Perry Farrell and I was like, and then, you know, the oh, and and I'm going to give a shout out to my friend. Then do something corporate. um Yeah, I saw that. The song, they they just have a they just released a video. um Yeah, I was looking at that. And it's really good. The the new record is going to be out. I mean, it's called um Happy, that song. Yeah, it's it's really good.
01:21:16
Speaker
Yeah. They're coming. I was like, I didn't, I, I've been stumbled upon them. I'm like, wait, they're doing a new record after what? 20 years. 20 years. And we, we just saw them, we just saw them in Vegas in October. And man, if it's, it's so funny because as you and I both know so much of the music that we grew up on in our formative, you know, our emotional days, formative, totally.
01:21:44
Speaker
hearing it a second time around. Oh, that would have been awesome. and i was very to him It's so funny because hearing them now, the songs have a wisdom in a depth that is so beautiful. Oh yeah. Huge. It's amazing. I also understand it better now too. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I mean, yeah I understand it better. Life starts at 40.
01:22:07
Speaker
Well, there's another band too that I, oh my God, Life Death started at 40. Now, Suddenly Corporate, I saw that, I was like, oh, that's gonna be fine. But there's another band that I listened to a lot in one second. Yeah, no worries. It's like a punk. Did you ever listen to Copeland?
01:22:22
Speaker
oh Yeah, oh man this was because I listened to a ton like in early 2000s, right and um and you know, I'm on Spotify really simply just because you sometimes you and listen to every artist like I used to in in like early college days like early 2000s like I did but um I remember really loving Copeland and I have like actually a picture of my my office still from one of the records and And this when I stumbled upon this was a re. I was at first like a whole new record, but essentially it's like this really moody or kept orchestral version of all of like their greatest hit songs. um So they're kind of all they're all like redone. So when I first started listening to them, they're all kind of like re.
01:23:06
Speaker
Like the melody is the same, but it's it's not like the the rock, emo, punk, whatever version that they're doing. it It's this orchestral, moody, often very slow and and melodic tone. So at first I didn't recognize it. I'm like, wait, I know this lyric. I'm like, oh, and I looked it up. im Like, yeah, they essentially redid all some of their favorite tracks. I i think good right love i love when artists do that. yeah and And it's called Reimagined.
01:23:34
Speaker
Yes, reimagine, there you go, that's the word I'm looking for. So if you like Copeland, this is great, great record. Yeah, it's it's so funny because like guy I loved all those early albums from them and they, you know, but here's and here's the thing, I was a huge fan of the Pixies. Yeah, me too, yeah. that so So, you know, for me being 46, you know, it's like I remember when those Pixie albums were coming out and were huge. Yeah.
01:24:01
Speaker
You know, and it's like without that, we wouldn't have Nirvana, the Loudsoft, and then we wouldn't have the Breeders, and then we wouldn't have Copeland, and we wouldn't have Dashboard Confessional and any of those things. And so for me, it's like, I kind of love... I hate saying this, but I kind of love being older as a music lover oh yeah because i can I can go back and go through all those beautiful memories that I have, both good and bad. yeah yeah you know and And that's the whole thing. it's like and
01:24:32
Speaker
You know, we grew up in the era of CDs yeah and there was nothing worse than spending your hard-earned money on an album. Yes. And then being like, oh my gosh, it's not good. And then you, but you, then you're like, and and I'm going to keep listening to it. because You have to be like, I'm not going to waste this.
01:24:49
Speaker
No, and and this is a perfect one. I grew up with, I remember going to see Switchwit at Point Loom and Azrin when they were releasing, I think, their second album. And on the way to the concert, there was a Tower Records right off of Rosecrans in San Diego.
01:25:07
Speaker
I know exactly where that is. You know, so I went in and I remember it because I love Radiohead. Where it was. Sorry, it's closed. Where it was. Yeah. Yeah. sam And I remember going in and getting the new Radiohead album, which was Kid A. Wow. Yeah. And I remember putting it into my CD player and my car. Did you like it or no?
01:25:28
Speaker
And I remember driving in the dark to go see my friend's band play down in Point Loma. And I remember like the first song and I'm just like, oh, what? What is this? It was a shift from OK Computer. Yeah. And ah and a big like I was like, OK, this is radical. Now Goodrich, who produced it, you know was one of my producing heroes as a Sonic developer. And the way that he saw the world and the way he pushed the artist. And I just remember, I was like, all right, I remember taking it out, putting in the new Switch would album. And I was like, all right, cool. Like, you know, they were, I grew up in the same area, you know, the whole thing. And then I was like, okay, okay, like kiddies got to live in my CD player for at least a week. And then I just remember like falling in love with it and just going, yeah, it's a great record.
01:26:17
Speaker
Oh my God. This is so cool. So yeah. Yeah. And that's, and there's, I love their stuff. I have a bunch of their records fact in rainbows is up there right there. on the but I put that on the other day. Kids are dancing to it. So 15 steps when you, oh do i I saw him on that tour.
01:26:35
Speaker
yeah i i that's I saw them on the tour on the in rainbows tour yeah and they opened with 15 steps. And I just remember like going, these guys are artists at the top of their performance. Oh yeah. They're so good. And to pull that off live is a, yeah. Yeah. I agree. It's all about that live show. And when the, when the rubber meets the road, because we've all seen those bands where we're like, Oh, it's DF.
01:27:04
Speaker
Oh, this is the saddest thing. They suck. They're terrible. I wanna say Blink, you know, live. Fun energy, but just they can't sing for a junk live at all. Do you wanna know a cool Blink story? Sure. And we can end with this because I think they're cool. We'll end with this. So at one time, my neighbor, I lived in an area, my neighbor was the manager of Blink-182. Oh, wow.
01:27:30
Speaker
And they played a show in San Diego. And die i go and yeah now mind you, this is so random. My little sister went to the show and yeah they, I mean, this is like peak, like dude ranch. And then the the next album, I, I was more of a hardcore punk rock fan. So yeah, i didn go yeah and and then they, they, they, they did not play well and they kind of goofed off. I mean, it was in front of this packed crowd, a huge crowd.
01:27:57
Speaker
And I'll never forget this. I was talking and this was a couple years later. I live in this area. We have a mutual friend and he was he was their manager. And I was like, oh, yeah, man, like they went from like kind of, you know, having a shtick to like really being more of a powerhouse.
01:28:15
Speaker
And I said, my little
Live Music Experiences & Nostalgia
01:28:16
Speaker
sister went and saw this show and he goes, that was the show that almost broke him. He goes, and I really, he goes, I told them either this is it's all or nothing. You better be all in. Yeah. And I'm a huge Travis Barker fan because he was in the Aquabats. No, yeah, he's a great drummer. No, I love he's a great drummer. Yeah. and And he is like a musician's musician. I mean, you think about all those bands and all those records he's produced and played. I mean, the dude's got chops. So much. Yeah. No, no, I respect. Yeah, I respect. I like i like blank. I'm just saying that, you know, sometimes live, they're like, yeah, yeah but a lot of bands like that. They're like, OK. Oh, man. It's I used to, you know, I used to see the vandals on some of these like Malta. And I was just like, oh, no, those guys.
01:29:05
Speaker
Yeah. The great studio musicians and the, you know, the record, but live, you're like, okay, this is, this is hard. Then you have the other bands and you know, we'll end with this. I remember we told you, uh, at the San Diego open air theater, when I saw it was death gap for QT was the headliner. Muse was playing. I think I told you about this. And that's when Muse was still kind of Muse was still not really big yet in the States. They were like, just, they just released the record. Um, the one with the absolution absolution.
01:29:35
Speaker
So that one just came out. Still one of, like that record holds up like nobody's business production, songwriting thing. The live though, I mean talk about a band live that, it's almost like a Radiohead-esque, but only it's a power, it's three dudes at the time. Now they, I think they have a keyboard that tours with them and stuff, but at the time it was just them three. And how they blew my mind, I was just like, just shocked. It's like, this is live, like this is happening.
01:30:01
Speaker
um And then Death Cave came on, Death Cave for Cutie, which I was a huge Death Cave for Cutie. I mean, massive. That's why I went to this thing for them. And I remember being very bored after Muse. And I know Death Cave's like, I know, I get they're not like ah not like a huge uppity band anyway. I get that. But going from the just the shock of an adrenaline of Muse, um and they really can play. Like, they really- No, they they're they're monster players. Phenomenal musicians and everything is like, vocally, everything is spot on. Like there's no, you know, it's amazing. And then just like, oh, I'm kind of bored watching Death Calf. I want to go to sleep and leave. um So anyway, Muse, Muse is another. In fact, I walked down to the, I walked at my wedding. We did a Muse song, um Starlight.
01:30:49
Speaker
Oh, great song for the guys walking and and like everyone walking up. Yeah, besides the processional, but the processional size, the wedding, you know, my wife, she had a different song. We did the once the once song falling slowly for her. But we didn't use starlight. So, um yeah, they have a place in my heart for sure. mu Oh, yeah. It's, you know, and it's so funny, it's like, I count myself really lucky. And YouTube, like, we've seen those, we got to see some of those shows. ah I saw Coldplay at the Open Air Theater the week that Russia bled to the head that came out. Oh, wow. And that was, it was, it was incredible. You know, when I count myself lucky, I've seen a lot of really incredible shows over my lifetime. Yeah, yeah. And I remember sitting there,
01:31:34
Speaker
and going, this is this is a band that's going to be huge because they weren't huge. And I just at that point yeah and i i mean, they played the full first record and they played all of Rush of Blood to the head. And I was like,
01:31:50
Speaker
And as an encore, they did Counting Up My Demons off the first album. And it was the most, I just remember like going, this is just a different level. And I was like, yeah i I felt like I was getting to see U2 before they were huge.
01:32:05
Speaker
before they were yeah yeah yeah Yeah, it's funny. i' not and I've not seen Cole play live. um And I remember the you know getting on the parachutes, which I have that record too. like I remember that when I started listening to him, it was raining in my buddy's car. He drove like an old Jeep Grand Cherokee. And yeah I remember falling in love with that record and in high school. I'm like, this is a great record.
01:32:27
Speaker
um Yeah, and I haven't seen them live. Oddly enough, of of all the bands, they need to see them. you know I know that's different now than it would have been when they were starting. But i I can tell you they're still phenomenal. Yeah, um yeah um now they have all the the bells and whistles and like all the extras to make it even probably 10 times better. So I definitely need to see them.
01:32:47
Speaker
um But with that said,
Podcast Gratitude & Future Topics
01:32:48
Speaker
because this is you know I think we were aiming at making this a shorter episode. So if you're still with us, we tried. We tried and then we get to talk about music. And you know I guess those are listening and realizing you know how much I like music and and Sam, I guess, but I'm a big music nerd and you don't you know. You get one side of me, but I have other sides that you just don't know yet because I don't talk about it enough. But music, I'm a huge nerd. I'm actually a musician. I have guitars. I have amps, pedals. That's a whole other side. And you know what's so cool is doing this podcast with you.
01:33:22
Speaker
We get to see all the some of the different parts of Travis Goodman, which is truly a beautiful gift for all of us in the audience. And I just want to say, I so appreciate everything you do for all of us, the audience, the people that can you know see your content.
01:33:40
Speaker
you know on YouTube and on TikTok and Instagram and you know not just being you know someone that you know is in also that space of working with humans, helping them be their best. But I just want to thank you for your contribution to all of us because it's a labor of love. And I just want to normalize saying that. like Let's tell our friends that they're doing a good job because a lot of us, we don't know we're doing a good job without someone else recognizing. And also, I just appreciate the person that you are, not just what you do for everyone, but just who you are because that authenticity and that love and connection for humans shows up. And so I want to honor that because I think we need to do that more often.
01:34:27
Speaker
Thanks, Sam. Thank you, Travis. Yeah, no, that's very thank you. That means a lot. um And I agree. We need to normalize that more, especially as men. um More so. I think women do, generally speaking, a better job with that. yeahp um And men, we need to do that more, so I appreciate that. And yeah, and I thank you for our friendship.
01:34:47
Speaker
So, hey, until our next conversation, which will be soon. yeah Stay tuned for the return of Sam um to be you know tbd on what we're going to talk about, but it's going to be good. And again, looking for the links for Sam. We want to work with Sam by the book interested. It's all lit clickable below. I might even link a few of the artists we talked about below that you can just click on if you're not aware of them. And until next time. Thank you. Thank you.