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The Men's Collective: Creating a Space for Authenticity, Vulnerability, and Growth
106 Plays28 days ago
In this inaugural episode of The Men's Collective podcast, Travis Goodman and Pierre Azzam share the transformative journey and vision of the Men's Collective, a space dedicated to men's development and authentic connection. They delve into the evolution of the podcast and the community from its previous iterations and discuss the significance of stepping into this new endeavor together. This episode sets the stage for the program's mission to help men show up with authenticity and purpose in their lives.
Keypoints:
- Evolution of the Podcast: Travis shares the progression of the podcast from "The Integrated Man Project" to "The Men's Collective," emphasizing this shift as a response to growth and the need for more interconnected engagement among men.
- The Heartbeat of the Men's Collective: Pierre and Travis discuss how the Men's Collective is about creating a community that encourages vulnerability, accountability, and a departure from the lone wolf mentality. They emphasize the importance of building connections that are genuinely supportive and transformative for men.
- Core Values and Orientation: The focus on authenticity and the expansion beyond self is discussed as key elements of the Collective. Travis highlights the integration of scientific approaches such as the polyvagal theory into this work, aiming for a holistic approach to men's development.
Reflect on areas in your life where you show up inauthentically or feel pressured to perform. What steps can you take today to begin embracing vulnerability and authenticity in those areas? Consider how joining a community of supportive men like the Men's Collective could help you in this journey. What small action could you take to connect more deeply with others in your life or community this week?
JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:
JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE:
CLICK HERE
JOIN THE MAILING LIST & GET INVOLVED!
INSTAGRAM: MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO
WATCH ON YOUTUBE:
Connect and Support Travis:
YouTube: Travis Goodman
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft
Connect and Support Pierre:
Instagram: Braver.Man
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Transcript
Defining Manliness
00:00:00
Speaker
I think for a lot of men, showing up as a man can feel like a performance. it can feel like in order to show up, we have to be this, we have to look this way, do these things, act a particular way.
00:00:15
Speaker
Sometimes that means we're acting as opposed to showing up fully.
The Evolution to 'Men's Collective'
00:00:19
Speaker
Well, welcome everybody to i guess this week's episode of the Men's Collective podcast. And so those have been following, listening to the show for really the past couple years have gone through a few evolutions with me, ah maturation.
00:00:34
Speaker
um This podcast was previously known as the Integrated Man Project, which um I think was a stepping stone over the past year to get me, us to this point um and you know kind of cats out of the bag. But really, that's been something I've been waiting to announce for a little while now, kind of the upcoming changes of what's going to happen to the podcast. And here we are.
00:00:55
Speaker
It is now the Men's Collective.
Co-founders' Vision and Partnership
00:00:57
Speaker
And on with me today and moving forward is my co-founder with of the Men's Collective, is ah my good friend who's actually been on the podcast previously,
00:01:08
Speaker
Pierre. How are you doing? thanks for having me. And thanks for doing this. i You're not having me anymore. we're We're in it together, my friend. And that's, I think the most exciting part of this whole thing of launching the men's collective is yeah.
00:01:22
Speaker
We're in this together and doing it kind of co-laboring, figuring this out and really curating and creating a space for men.
00:01:33
Speaker
And I think part of this whole process of doing it alongside yourself, um I think really encap encapsulates really the vision of the men's collective is that it's it's a community.
00:01:46
Speaker
um it's It's not the lone wolf mentalitye mentality, me, just Travis, or you, just Pierre, but us together. And as we work with men um as as a collective, we are going through this and learning together, training together, being accountable, um creating vulnerability
Meeting and Collaboration Story
00:02:02
Speaker
and space. And so I'm really excited to finally be here and finally jump into this. So I'm stoked.
00:02:07
Speaker
Likewise. I'm really pumped. We really have talked about curating a space like this for men to build a life we're proud of, to really maximize our connection and a solid foundation of purpose. And I think we've been doing that in the Men's Collective Thus far, it's in its infancy and it's growing really in a powerful and steady way.
00:02:30
Speaker
So I'm pumped. Yeah, no, me too. And ah kind of the origin story has been, you know, I met actually Pierre, just those that don't know, I met Pierre, I believe through Instagram. I think our first talk together was on Instagram.
00:02:42
Speaker
talking about ah men's postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety, which was, I think for a lot of the listeners, new information um that may not have known that men could also go through postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and kind of talking about that and the statistics around it, which is one in 10 men, which is quite high. You know, it's actually more common than we think.
00:03:05
Speaker
And so that's kind of how we first met. I believe that might have been, I'm not sure, two
Embracing New Themes
00:03:09
Speaker
years ago. Yeah, something like that. we were I want to say it was in 2021 or 2022. So it's been a few years now.
00:03:19
Speaker
Yeah, i and I've matured since then. I've gotten older, more gray hair. My kids have gotten older. Likewise. I think I'm joining your wisdom, but transmuting through the screen. I've got to share here. grateful.
00:03:33
Speaker
some um got plenty to say here ah i'm grateful So there yeah, those that are listening, obviously, yeah, you need to jump on the video version of the podcast. what are you waiting for? We're in 2025.
00:03:45
Speaker
It's all about video now, but hey, I won't judge if you're just on audio. um And so I wanted to share a bit more about just kind of the vision for what the Men's Collective is. That's what today is, is kind of one, a welcome back about the transition, about the evolution, moving from Integrated Man Project.
Expanding Connectivity and Roles
00:04:00
Speaker
And even previously to that was therapy for dads and kind of just talking about how we can go through transitions and change and kind of letting go of of previous seasons and acknowledging the growth and where that got us and the the ups and the downs. And then coming to a new season, this new adventure with Pierre now being the men's collective. And, and I'm so thankful for all the listeners that have been along thus far with, with me and the changes and,
00:04:30
Speaker
My hope is it's been a model that it's okay to change and shift and have new ideas, let go of different ideas that it's not good or bad. It's just part of life that we we shift, we change. and In fact, i think and I know that this idea of the men's collective is is something far greater um than just the Integrated Man project. so It's something that is it's going to go beyond just me and Pierre. and that's I think my ultimate heart vision, just jumping into the top of it, what is the men's collective for me?
Creating Shared Spaces for Men
00:04:59
Speaker
That is something that is expanding our notion of being connected to something beyond self. That it's not just about me in Southern California or Pierre in Florida, but about us as men, um as fathers, right? as you know whatever hats we wear as sons, as brothers, as all those things that we do that we are really kind of to steal Dan Siegel's language, intra connected, that we are connected not just to person to person, but the whole world to nature, to community. And so trying to curate something and really create space more specifically though for men to show up to
00:05:38
Speaker
to learn together, to grow together is really the heartbeat of of that we are more than just ourselves. and we need And that's important to recognize that, which I think gives us hope. It gives us vision. It gives us um motivation.
00:05:51
Speaker
It also gives us you know gives us courage. It shows that we really matter, each individual man matters and has an impact.
Celebrating Success and Future Plans
00:06:00
Speaker
um Even if at times, guys that I've worked with, I'm sure you too feel that they're not making an impact that when we do this together, and we have space for guys to show up, you really see them step into this place of courage of bravery of risk of healthy, like vulnerability, and kind of healthy masculinity.
00:06:19
Speaker
that that's really what this is about for me, something far bigger. And I'm really excited as we as we look into this over 2025. And like you said, kind of it's in it in its infancy and those that are learning and ah new to this, that we launched our first cohorts ah end of last year.
00:06:35
Speaker
And it went really, really well. We had a group, of solid group of eight guys that went through it and really showed up and just gave me more vigor and excitement. And I think for Pierre to say, yeah, this is something this is something worth sacrificing comfort for.
00:06:51
Speaker
It's something worth building and pushing because the need far exceeds the spaces that exist.
Foundation of Purpose and Brotherhood
00:07:00
Speaker
Agreed. Agreed. And really, were building and have already and not just the two of us it's been uh it's really been and will always be a collective effort to build a platform for men who are showing up in life in deep heartfelt sincere ways wanting to make the world a better place than it is and for us that started with bringing men together
00:07:26
Speaker
in our eight-week cohort and really focusing on building or a rock-solid foundation of purpose. And not necessarily purpose in a myopic way that feels like you have to pick one thing to focus attention on, or even that it has to be super dramatic in any way.
00:07:48
Speaker
I think all men who've done this type of introspective work, and most of us do it on our own, have built a foundation of purpose. And really a big part of this is shoring it up, sharing it with other men.
00:08:04
Speaker
being able to build community and build brotherhood
Balancing Curriculum with Connection
00:08:08
Speaker
together. And it's not an easy thing to do. And I think one of the, even though in a lot of ways, it's pretty simple.
00:08:15
Speaker
And I think one of the things that I've been really grateful to the men in the collective and also, and particularly to you, Travis, is we are able to use complimentary experiences and styles to build on something that is shared.
00:08:32
Speaker
I agree. I think um that complementary styles thats that is shared, that there's there's the shared experience that we're finding, that I find even with the guys that we work with for my space, that there's this link, this bond that and I made a post about this the other day that goes beyond curriculum, that's really about connection.
00:08:50
Speaker
and i think curriculum matters. Obviously, we our cohort is an eight-week you know curriculum-based thing that we came up with, a model, a foundation for the for dumb men's collective. which kind of is that stepping stone into the men's collective at large, um that I think it does matter. I think it can be helpful to have perspective and curriculum and training, which is part of what we do at the men's collective. We do training and teaching skills.
00:09:13
Speaker
um But I think the biggest piece, and i you know taking a poll of the guys so far in the collective, the biggest thing has been the connection with other men. And I knew that deep down, and I think you did too. And the curriculum is more about a place to start with that bonds us, but really it's that man-to-man relationship share that man to man showing up of doing life together sharing sharing and sharing the burden, right? Co-laboring with just where we are and different phases of life too. And that's the, I think the amazing thing so far in the collective, we have guys all over the U S we different phases of a life, no kids, young kids, high school kids, kids out of house, like to get like this range.
00:09:53
Speaker
um And that we're all unified under this bigger vision of trying to become more holistically integrated and healthy as men and ourselves, and then have a better more effective impact on our family, on our community, and the world. And that's kind of that unifying vision you spoke of. And um it I'm just super
Mental Health Expertise and Personal Touch
00:10:12
Speaker
stoked to be part of it and be part of the guys that are showing up. I mean, that's the beautiful thing is seeing how these guys show up and the work they're doing and to hear about their lives.
00:10:21
Speaker
And to know that, you know, John, not a person in Ohio or Colorado or Florida or whatever, that we relate more than we know, that there's something deep, deeply connective, and that having space to show up in that way. It's like, ah it's, it's really, um it's really powerful.
00:10:42
Speaker
Very, and unique. I think one of the things that draws men often to this type of work is wanting to go beyond superficialities, and wanting to go beyond one-upmanship or comparison, really wanting to learn how to be present and supportive and encouraging in a way that we may not get in our everyday lives, whether that be in more superficial friendships or relationships at work where there's maybe not so much a focus on helping you to show up more fulfilled in your life more purposeful more proud
00:11:25
Speaker
And here's a question. What I'd like to know if I was a listener, if I put myself in that shoe or that space, like what is the collective? What makes it unique or different about what's out there? Because, you know, I think if you look at social media, there's a lot of other men's type of um programs or things and to varying, I think, degrees of
00:11:46
Speaker
helpfulness, yeah um and success and and good. and And you know, again, they can swing widely. um And there's a lot out there. So why? What is it? What's what's unique about it?
00:11:57
Speaker
Why would men be want to be interested in what we're doing?
Authentic Participation in the Collective
00:12:00
Speaker
um I guess I'd love to suppose those questions to you up here. Yeah, I think there are a few things. i mean you I'd love to hear your thoughts on this too. We have this great mix of experiences and a shared desire to help men show up more deeply, more fully.
00:12:16
Speaker
And you know I think for a lot of men, showing up as a man can feel like a performance. It can feel like in order to show up we have to be this we have to look this way do these things act a particular way and sometimes that means we're acting as opposed to showing up fully and both of us and i think all of the men thus far in the collective are of the mindset that we're here to show up authentically
00:12:48
Speaker
that we're here to be more sincere, we're here to be deeper, we're here to bring good to the world, we're here to contribute and to serve in a meaningful way that isn't just about our own egos, that isn't just about showing up in making people feel jealous or envious or wanting to be us.
00:13:08
Speaker
or um feeling somehow less than another man in the team or another man in the collective. And so there's a sense that every man in the collective brings something really powerful, really meaningful, really unique, and also that we share common struggles and that we share common
Complementing Clinical and Human Approaches
00:13:27
Speaker
victories.
00:13:27
Speaker
And I think it's hard to curate that. I've been a part of many men's groups before and really coming to building the collective with you, Travis, has been ah journey of um trying out different styles of men's communities and discovering there's probably many different ways to do this, but our way is rather, I think is rather unique. We're both mental health professionals, meaning we bring to all of our work
00:13:58
Speaker
a background of appreciating how we show up emotionally, energetically, what happens for us in terms of our thoughts, how we engage relationally with one another, how our nervous systems work, which is a huge part of this work.
00:14:15
Speaker
yeah mean Truly, I think um I've not been a part of a men's community where the focus on nervous system regulation has been this strong and this backed in science.
00:14:27
Speaker
And I'm sorry, about I'm stoked about that. I mean, that's so peers speaking to the kind of the stuff I've been bringing to the table, which has been part of my training over the past few years through the Polyvagal Institute. um yeah and And again, me and Pierre both have a clinical background.
00:14:40
Speaker
You know, I'm a licensed manager family therapist with a master's of science and counseling psychology peers, a board certified psychiatrist with a this MD, right? yeah So yeah um we have that, which is great. But you know those are letters, but I think it gives us a sense that we've we've done research. We've looked in this stuff. we We have training, we've done supervision, we've done a lot of hours and combined we've I don't know, 20, 30 years of experience. I'm not even sure at this point. I've been practicing for 10 years.
00:15:08
Speaker
um You've been in practice for, I think, longer than that. little bit. Yeah. And so we bring that, um but then we bring our humanity to it showing up. um Yeah. Something that I found needed is, again, this nervous system piece that I've done training for the past three years through the Polyvagal Institute and a really seen that scientific approach to the the the power of understanding our nervous system and the impact it has in everything, our internal world, how we relate to ourself as men, ah how we relate to the different parts of us, of our ourselves, ah how we relate to our family, our friends, our community, that everything is seen through that lens. And I really believe that is such a good framework as a foundation of everything. And so I've really been big on
00:15:48
Speaker
putting that integrating the into all that we do with practice and awareness as kind of his first foundation. And so that's, that's something that Pierce talking about that I'm really stoked about. And I think the guys in the group have also really appreciated.
00:16:01
Speaker
Most certainly. i think that's been terrific. I mean, just looking at our own backgrounds here, we yeah we we very much own our our experience and our training. And also, much of this work is this work in particular is not a you know it's not a diagnostic clinical approach.
Growth through Purpose and Community
00:16:21
Speaker
This is for men who may have faced mental health challenges or conditions in the past, but fundamentally who want to grow together moving forward and grow more powerfully together in a way that allows us to show up in a ah meaningful and purposeful way.
00:16:42
Speaker
And so, yes, we do touch upon how we show up in terms of emotion and our quality and the content of our thought. a big part of our work is around cultivating peak performance and mindset.
00:16:58
Speaker
And we use purpose as sort of the foundation of that and touch upon some big pillars of purpose in addition to understanding how our nervous systems can be regulated using the polyvagal theory.
00:17:11
Speaker
And so it's relevant for any man, whether they've been in therapy before or not, whether they've faced a mental health condition or not.
00:17:22
Speaker
And um I think we both bring pride and joy in our work. And that's probably and a deep commitment to focusing on the men who are here. It's not really about either of us. It's really about helping men to show up as better fathers, partners, leaders, yeah men in the community, friends, family members, sons, in whatever capacity we are.
Supportive Environment for Growth
00:17:49
Speaker
Yeah. And I think with that, like, while we have this clinical background, I think i we both do a good job is like, it's not the Travis show or Pierre show that I'm the expert, the answer for everything.
00:17:59
Speaker
That's not what this is about. You know, this is about, yes, we're going to bring our training in because I think it's helpful. And, and, but really applying it as starting with we're human beings first, like we're trying to figure this out too.
00:18:11
Speaker
i am, I have my own stuff that I struggle with figure out, you know, and so, you know, I'm not coming. with nothing no issues in my life or no problems and no stressors. It's like, I have to navigate things too, but it's this doing it together in a space and creating spaces is the thing. and And so I'm not the expert, but I'm bringing in skills and training and awareness that I know is helpful.
00:18:35
Speaker
um And then it's really about that kind of connection and applying it into everyday life. And part of it is I learned from these guys in the group too. They share something unique. I'm like, I never thought of it that way. Let me, okay. that might I could take that and how do I apply that in my life? And so I think that does what makes us a little unique is that you know we are clinicians and we have training, but also you know our priority is the men in the group. um And it is really for men who they may have had a mental health issue or not, but they're looking for looking for accountability, looking for connection, looking for brotherhood, looking to grow and to be challenged, but in a space that is non-shaming, non-judging, but that's supportive, that's encouraging, that's challenging.
00:19:13
Speaker
And, and it's pushing us together to grow.
Introducing the Five Pillars of Purpose
00:19:17
Speaker
And, you know, over the next few weeks here, we're going to be in fact, let me ask where we over the next few weeks, we're going to be sharing a bit about kind of the foundation of our cohort. And can you speak just a little bit little preview about kind of the, you know, the, the five pillars here where we're going over the next few episodes?
00:19:34
Speaker
Yeah, of course. We're going to be focusing on five big pillars of purpose. And in our eight-week covert, we start with some foundations of the polyvagal theory and understanding how our emotions show up, how our bodies respond to situations like stress and Other situations like ah connection, learning, being present, being fully aware.
00:19:58
Speaker
um We move into five big pillars of purpose, and that starts with perspective, really appreciating the narratives that we tell that we hold about who we are, where we're going, what fulfillment means to us.
00:20:11
Speaker
That moves into programming and we focus that on yeah the stories we may tell ourselves about what it means to be a man, what it means to have self-doubt to face inner critics.
00:20:26
Speaker
It's essentially the stories and the chatter that we often hear that drive our expectations that might also drive the ways in which we judge ourselves. From there, we move to principles, which covers core values that are central to who we are in various domains of our lives.
00:20:46
Speaker
And we take it a step beyond just you what are those values, but what do they mean for us? And how are we honoring and potentially dishonoring them in our everyday lives? And how can we focus on showing up in service of those values in simple ways in our everyday lives? Again, we're not looking to do things that are, and some things I think are fairly dramatic when looked looked at over the course of time, but we're looking at simple, sustainable shifts and really honoring those shifts and also celebrating them when we're able to make them and pivoting when we're struggling.
00:21:24
Speaker
Uh, this isn't about you know, shaming men. It's not about judging men. I've been in other groups where, um it's embarrassing to say this, but where people would get um bitch tickets if they didn't do something as planned. And that's not, we're grown men. We're not yeah looking ah to be shamed here.
00:21:43
Speaker
yeah From principles, we move into presence, which is a huge part of how we show up. as men How do we show up in the presence in the in the same room with other people? How do we connect with other people?
00:21:56
Speaker
How might we maintain ah sense of mindfulness and awareness and focus in addition to emotional awareness? And then we finish off with the the final P, which is power.
00:22:08
Speaker
And I think this one touches upon all of the previous or prior four Ps around cultivating strengths and building a clear sense of confidence.
00:22:20
Speaker
Confidence is probably one of the biggest struggles with which men will show up to this work. And confidence is kind of tricky because it can be really difficult fuzzy and theoretical and sometimes kind of academic and we turn it into something that's much more reproducible, much more unique and personalized.
00:22:42
Speaker
Yeah. um And in a way that allows you to feel more self-assured in how you show up as a man in every domain of your life.
Community as the Heart of Success
00:22:52
Speaker
So we've really played with this model over the last few years to curate an eight-week program that packs a pretty powerful punch, not just in the modules, as Travis has really commented on. The biggest part of ah but the power in program like this one or the collective is in the community.
00:23:19
Speaker
the curriculum is great i mean i'm proud of it but the community is really where it's at yeah and and and that's kind of yeah absolutely the community is the most important thing and that's really the heartbeat of the collective is the connection with other men and the curriculum is a helpful foundation i think it it it can orient us which helps us then show up really in these areas authentically with other men that's really where the power really lies is our relationship in connection with other men as we do this together. But we, I think it is important, which is why we designed this way is to have orienting curriculum to get us focused, to ask certain questions.
00:23:53
Speaker
And so that's where we're going the next five weeks where we talk in a little bit more previewing about the five pillars. I mean, I just think everyone so far on this journey of being part of my evolution, looking forward to how the men's collective is going to unfold. If you're looking for more info for the next start of the next cohort or more info in general,
00:24:10
Speaker
go to menscollective.co again, menscollective.co for more information. You can fill it out. There's information on there, but um looking forward to doing this with your peer. And likewise, we will see you all next week with the next, the first pillar of the five P's. So thank you all.
00:24:29
Speaker
See you soon. Beautiful. Thank you, Travis.