In this episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, Travis Goodman sits down with Pat Barber to talk about fatherhood as a mirror, coaching as self-awareness, and what it means to become the kind of man your kids actually need. Pat shares how decades of coaching movement, developing coaches, and raising four boys have forced him to look honestly at himself, grow through discomfort, and rethink what real leadership looks like.  

This conversation explores how fatherhood can bring out both your best and your worst, why good coaching and good parenting require flexibility, and why so many men struggle with not having it all figured out. Travis and Pat also talk about raising good adults instead of just obedient kids, creating emotional safety in the parent-child relationship, and the importance of helping men know they are unconditionally loved.  

In this episode:
Pat Barber on fatherhood as a mirror
How coaching others exposed
Pat’s own blind spots
Why good coaches and good dads adapt to the individual
The difference between raising good kids and raising good adults
Why men struggle with shame, failure, and not knowing
The role of unconditional love in male growth and emotional health  

If you are a father, coach, husband, or man trying to grow with more intention, this episode will challenge and encourage you.

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

🌐 Learn more at menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] or travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:   JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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WATCH ON YOUTUBE:  WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:           
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

Music by Scott Buckley – released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au

What Fatherhood Reveals About Men | Pat Barber

Why do so many men feel like their value has to be earned, proven, and constantly defended?

In this episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, Travis Goodman sits down with writer and researcher Jim Chastain to unpack the deeper fear underneath the manosphere. Drawing from Jim’s article “Turns Out ‘Manosphere’ Might Be Misspelled. It should probably be Manosfear.” and Louis Theroux’s Into the Manosphere, this conversation explores why so many men organize their lives around performance, control, money, status, and attention instead of connection, honesty, and grounded strength.

Together, Travis and Jim explore how fear of weakness, fear of rejection, and fear of “not being enough” can drive men to chase worth through achievement, image, and domination. They talk about why the manosphere is so appealing to younger men, how control and clout can become substitutes for real self-worth, and why the promise of “living for yourself” often hides a deeper avoidance of vulnerability and responsibility.

This episode covers:  Why men often feel they must prove their worth Why young men are drawn to manosphere content How fear of weakness shapes male behavior The connection between shame, control, and conditional worth Why revealing weakness can actually become strength What healthier masculinity looks like in real life

If you are interested in masculinity, men’s mental health, shame, self-worth, male loneliness, emotional resilience, or how to raise healthier boys and men, this episode will give you a deeper lens into what is really going on beneath the bravado.

If you want deeper coaching or therapy, visit travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/].      

[Life in Silico] by Scott Buckley – released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube

🌐 Learn more at menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] or travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/] 

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:   JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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INSTAGRAM:  MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.instagram.com/menscollective.co/]

WATCH ON YOUTUBE:  WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:          
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

Manosphere or Manosfear? What’s Really Driving Men

Grief doesn’t just affect your heart. It impacts your mind, your body, your energy, your relationships, your faith, and your sense of direction. In this deeply personal episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, Travis Goodman shares about the sudden loss of his close friend and co-founder Pierre Azzam, and what has been helping him navigate grief in real time.

This episode explores how grief is not something to fix or solve, but something to move through. Travis shares three practical things that have been helping him carry loss with more honesty and steadiness: walking more, connecting intentionally with friends and family, and creating space to feel without trying to force closure. He also shares several grief books that have helped over the years, including When Bad Things Happen to Good People, On Death and Dying, A Grief Observed, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, and The Grieving Brain.

If you are grieving the death of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, a job, a community, or a season of life, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate conversation about grief, loss, emotional healing, nervous system awareness, and what it means to carry sorrow without carrying it alone.

In this episode:
• How grief affects the body, mind, and nervous system
• Why walking and movement can help with grief
• How connection and co-regulation support healing
• Why creating space to feel matters
• Books on grief, loss, death, and emotional resilience

This is for anyone navigating grief, mourning, sorrow, sudden loss, emotional pain, or major life transitions.

If you want deeper coaching or therapy, visit travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/].  

For more men’s mental health tools and community, check out The Men’s Collective Podcast.  

[Life in Silico] by Scott Buckley – released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au   

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube  

🌐 Learn more at menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] or travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:   JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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INSTAGRAM:  MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.instagram.com/menscollective.co/]

WATCH ON YOUTUBE:  WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:        
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

How to Grieve Without Shutting Down

When stress hits, your nervous system runs the show. In this episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, Travis Goodman, LMFT & Mind-Body coach, teaches the 3N practice, adapted from Dr. Les Aria’s work: Notice, Name, Nourish. This is a practical polyvagal-informed tool to help men shift out of fight-or-flight (sympathetic activation) or shutdown (dorsal vagal) and move toward calm, connection, and clarity (ventral vagal).

You’ll learn how to:
Use body-based awareness to catch your state in real time
Label what’s happening to reduce overwhelm and regain perspective
Choose simple “nourish” actions that help your nervous system reset (long exhale breathing, orienting, pressure through palms, sensory temperature shifts, movement, and co-regulation)

Use this before hard conversations, after a stressful workday, during workouts when self-criticism spikes, or at night when your mind won’t shut off. This is not about “thinking positive.” It’s about building reps that create real emotional regulation, better relationships, and more grounded leadership as a man and father.

If you liked the previous episodes on polyvagal theory, neuroception, hierarchy, and co-regulation, this is the next step. Subscribe for nervous system tools that fit real life.

If you want deeper coaching or therapy, visit travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/].

For more men’s mental health tools and community, check out The Men’s Collective Podcast.  [Life in Silico] by Scott Buckley – released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au  

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube
🌐 Learn more at menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] or travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:   JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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INSTAGRAM:  MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.instagram.com/menscollective.co/]

WATCH ON YOUTUBE:  WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:       
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

Calm Your Nervous System Fast: The 3N Method

Struggling to settle after stress? In this episode, licensed therapist and Mind+Body coach Travis Goodman teaches three polyvagal-informed practices to reset your nervous system quickly and safely. You’ll learn how to orient to safety cues, ground through the senses, and use lengthened exhale breathing to activate the vagal brake. These simple, science-backed techniques help you move from fight/flight or shutdown back to calm connection. Perfect for busy men, dads, and leaders who need a fast, reliable way to self-regulate without white-knuckling it.

What you’ll learn:
• Polyvagal exercises to regulate your nervous system fast
• How to orient and scan your environment for safety
• 3-sense grounding to exit rumination and return to the present
• Lengthened-exhale breathing to stimulate the vagus nerve and settle your heart rate
• Why “reset first, solve second” prevents reactivity and burnout

If you want deeper coaching or therapy, visit travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/]. For more men’s mental health tools and community, check out The Men’s Collective Podcast.

[Life in Silico] by Scott Buckley – released under CC-BY 4.0. www.scottbuckley.com.au

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube
🌐 Learn more at menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] or travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:   JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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INSTAGRAM:  MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.instagram.com/menscollective.co/]

WATCH ON YOUTUBE:  WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:      
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

Reset Your Nervous System Fast: 3 Polyvagal Exercises

What if your body—not your mind—was deciding how safe, calm, or stressed you feel?

In this episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, therapist and Mind-Body Coach Travis Goodman, LMFT, breaks down the three organizing principles of Polyvagal Theory—a science-backed model by Dr. Stephen Porges that explains how your nervous system runs your daily life.

You’ll learn how to recognize your body’s automatic states—ventral (safe and connected), sympathetic (mobilized and stressed), and dorsal (shutdown and numb)—and how to move toward regulation, calm, and connection.

In this episode:

 * What Hierarchy teaches us about emotional states and the “autonomic ladder”
 * How Neuroception constantly scans for safety or threat without you realizing it
 * Why Co-Regulation (connection) is the secret to true calm and healing
 * A real-life example of how reaching out to safe relationships resets your nervous system
 * Practical ways to notice, name, and navigate your state

If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t just “think” your way out of stress, this episode will help you finally understand the biology of safety—and how to work with it.

🎧 Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube
🌐 Learn more at menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] or travisgoodmanlmft.com [https://travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:   JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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INSTAGRAM:  MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.instagram.com/menscollective.co/]

WATCH ON YOUTUBE:  WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:     
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

Why You Feel Unsafe (and Don’t Know Why) | Understanding Polyvagal Theory

Feeling anxious, tense, or shut down for no reason?In this episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, therapist and Mind + Body coach Travis Goodman, LMFT breaks down Polyvagal Theory in simple, practical language so you can finally understand your stress responses — and stop fighting your own body.

Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, Polyvagal Theory explains how your nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or threat and shifts between three primary states:

 * Ventral Vagal: calm, connected, grounded
 * Sympathetic: fight / flight / mobilized energy
 * Dorsal Vagal: shutdown, numbness, disconnection

Travis explores how these automatic shifts shape your mood, focus, relationships, and resilience — and why men often mistake these states for weakness, anger, or burnout instead of recognizing them as survival responses.

You’ll learn: ✅ What Polyvagal Theory is — in real-world terms ✅ How to identify your current nervous-system state ✅ Why awareness is the first step toward regulation ✅ How to work with your body, not against it ✅ A simple reflection practice to regain calm & connection

This episode is for men who want to feel more grounded, adaptable, and emotionally aware, and for anyone curious about the link between nervous system health and mental health.

🎧 Subscribe for weekly insights on men’s mental health, resilience, and purpose at menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/]

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:   JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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WATCH ON YOUTUBE:  WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:    
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]  
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]  
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

The #1 Reason You Can’t Relax: Polyvagal Theory Made Simple

Are you “hitting the gym for mental release”… but still feel stuck, stressed, and disconnected at home? In this episode, Travis Goodman and Marcus Filly (Functional Bodybuilding) break down purpose-driven training—how to stop using workouts as an escape and start building real strength, confidence, energy, and presence that carry into fatherhood, marriage, and leadership.

We dig into:

 * The provider trap: why high-achieving men sacrifice health, then run on fumes
 * Functional Bodybuilding and training with intention (not box-checking)
 * How to turn fitness into a portal for purpose, not avoidance
 * From dad bod to durable confidence—without dropping balls at work or home
 * The power of male community & accountability (and why going solo fails)
 * Practical fixes: effort, focus, recovery, and habit design that actually stick

If you’re a man, dad, or leader who “has it together” on paper but feels adrift or depleted, this conversation is your blueprint to train smarter, live fuller, and show up stronger—for yourself and the people who matter.

🎙️ Guest: Marcus Filly — Founder of Functional Bodybuilding
📲 Programs & coaching: search “Functional Bodybuilding Marcus Filly”
👥 Men’s work & cohorts: menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/]

🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple, & YouTube or visit menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] to go deeper.

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:  
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WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:  
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

The Provider Trap: Why Your Workouts Aren’t Working with Marcus Filly

In this episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, we unpack the difference between being vs. doing—and why most men are praised for achievement, performance, and success instead of who they truly are. Travis explores how this performance-based identity can lead to shame, loneliness, and disconnection, and shares research (including Brene Brown) plus real coaching insights to show why affirming character and core values builds stronger confidence and connection.  

What You’ll Learn:
- Being vs. Doing: Why most men are praised for achievements instead of character
- Performance-Based Identity: How tying self-worth to success leads to shame, loneliness, and burnout
- Masculinity & Mental Health: Research on traditional masculinity norms and their impact on connection
- Affirmations That Matter: Why affirming compassion, resilience, and courage builds lasting confidence
- Practical Challenge: Write & share three affirmations about who you are—and three for people you love
- Real-Life Stories & Research: Insights from Brene Brown, Therese Norden, and coaching work with men  

Challenge for the Week: Write three affirmations you’d love someone to say about your character—and share three affirmations with people close to you. Notice how it shifts your connection.

🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple, & YouTube or visit menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] to go deeper.

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:
JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

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CLICK HERE: MAILING LIST [https://sendfox.com/integratedmanproject]

INSTAGRAM:
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WATCH ON YOUTUBE: WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]
Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]
Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

Being vs Doing: Why Men Need Affirmation for Who They Are

In this episode of The Men’s Collective Podcast, Travis Goodman, LMFT, sits down with Dr. Brendan Hartman to explore the unspoken rules of masculinity that shape men’s lives—and how to finally break free.

From peer group pressure to self-policing behaviors, Brendan reveals how many men unknowingly stay trapped in invisible “cages” of outdated masculine norms, limiting emotional expression, vulnerability, and authentic confidence. Together, Travis and Brendan unpack:

 * Why peer groups influence masculinity more than fathers or media
 * How self-policing keeps men stuck in silence, shame, and isolation
 * The contradictions men feel between their true self and the version society expects
 * Why emotional vulnerability is actually a strength, not a weakness
 * Practical steps to redefine masculinity, open the “cage door,” and live with more authenticity

This episode challenges outdated scripts of what it means to “be a man” and invites you to consider: Where in your life are you silently policing yourself? What would it look like to show up as your true self instead?

If you’ve ever felt stuck, disconnected, or trapped by expectations—you’re not alone. Join the conversation and take the first step toward authentic masculinity, purpose, and connection.

🎧 Listen now on Spotify, Apple, & YouTube or visit menscollective.co [https://www.menscollective.co/] to go deeper.

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE:
JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE: [https://www.menscollective.co/] CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

JOIN THE MAILING LIST & GET INVOLVED!
CLICK HERE: MAILING LIST [https://sendfox.com/integratedmanproject]

INSTAGRAM: MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.instagram.com/menscollective.co/]WATCH ON YOUTUBE: WATCH HERE [https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZl0MZxvhTur__jbhXaDrhaYiETYL2_rq&si=yK3kD7N9PJHvxvHQ]

Connect and Support Travis:
YouTube: Travis Goodman [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuH2pTZa5qen7DTeLhsDm6A]Instagram: @travis.goodman.lmft [https://www.instagram.com/travis.goodman.lmft/]Web: TravisGoodmanLMFT.com [https://www.travisgoodmanlmft.com/]

The #1 Force Shaping Masculinity (It’s Not What You Think)

The Men’s Collective Podcast explores what it means to live as a grounded, purpose-driven, emotionally aware man in today’s world. Hosted by Travis Goodman, LMFT—Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Mind+Body Coach.  Each episode dives into the real work of becoming a man who is calm under pressure, connected in relationships, and clear on purpose.

Through honest conversations, neuroscience-backed practices, and stories from men doing the work, you’ll learn how to regulate your nervous system, lead with authenticity, and build strength that’s both grounded and compassionate.

Whether you’re a high-performing dad, a man in transition, or simply ready to live with more meaning, The Men’s Collective is your space to reconnect to yourself, your purpose, and your people.

Where purpose meets practice. Where men learn to feel, lead, and live fully.

JOIN THE COLLECTIVE [https://www.menscollective.co/] - CLICK HERE [https://www.menscollective.co/]

JOIN THE MAILING LIST [https://sendfox.com/integratedmanproject]  -   CLICK HERE [https://sendfox.com/integratedmanproject]

YOUTUBE:  CLICK HERE [https://www.youtube.com/travisgoodman]

WEB: MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.menscollective.co/]

INSTAGRAM: MENSCOLLECTIVE.CO [https://www.instagram.com/menscollective.co/]

Travis Goodman, LMFT

Shows