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What's the Best Way to REGULATE Your Energy This Holiday Season?
130 Plays2 months ago
The holiday season is right around the corner, and with it often comes a whirlwind of activity, expectations, and sometimes, a fair bit of stress. But worry not – we're here to help you navigate this festive period with ease and purpose. In our latest episode of The Integrated Man Project, host Travis shares 3 invaluable tips that every dad (and parent) can benefit from.
Here’s a quick rundown of what we covered:
1. Be Present, Not Perfect
The holidays are about connection, not perfection. Whether it's playing a game with your kids, sharing a laugh, or enjoying a family meal together, being present makes all the difference. Your family will remember these moments of joy and togetherness far more than they'll remember the perfect gift or a perfectly set table.
2. Stay Regulated
We know the holiday season can bring about a range of emotions and stressors. Whether it's work-related stress, family pressures, or societal expectations, the key is to remain grounded. Simple daily practices like breathwork, meditation, or a morning routine can help. When you're regulated, you set a calm and composed example for your kids and create a more harmonious environment at home.
3. Set the Tone
You have the power to set the tone for your family's holiday experience. Approach this season with a spirit of joy, gratitude, and lightheartedness. Remember, your energy and mood can influence everyone around you, particularly your children. Ask yourself daily: What tone am I setting today?
For more in-depth insights and advice, make sure to listen to the full episode. It’s packed with practical tips that you can start implementing right away.
📅 Don't Forget! We're also gearing up for our next 8-week Men's Peak Performance Cohort starting the week of January 13th. If you're interested in joining or know someone who might benefit, check out the details here. It's a fantastic opportunity to kick off the new year with purpose, meaning, and direction.
Wishing you and your family a joyful and stress-free holiday season!
Stay Integrated, Travis Goodman Host, The Integrated Man Project
JOIN THE MEN'S COLLECTIVE:
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Connect and Support Travis:
YouTube: Travis Goodman
Instagram: @integratedmanproject
Check out the Website: IntegratedManProject.com
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Transcript
Introduction to Men's Peak Performance Cohort
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome right to this week's episode of the podcast. Before we jump in, a quick reminder again, where the days are counting down. We had just a few weeks away before we start the two new eight week men's peak performance cohort starting the week of January 13th.
Meet the Hosts: Experienced Mental Health Professionals
00:00:14
Speaker
If that's something you're interested in or you think your dad be interested in or your husband or your boyfriend or your brother or yourself or your buddy, whoever it might be, link is in the description. It's an eight week group where me and my friend, good friend Pierre, who is a,
00:00:28
Speaker
a licensed board certified psychiatrist and men's coach. And I am again, in case you're new to the show, I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and men's coach.
Exploring Cohort Topics: Purpose and Masculinity
00:00:36
Speaker
We both have over 20 years combined of experience working with probably well over 4,000, 5,000 men and individuals in our practices combined. And we guide you through this eight week kind of small group setting. ah We talk about having purpose, having meaning, having identity and values. We talk about masculinity. We talk about ah Emotional intelligence, we talk about regulating our nervous system and being effective among other topics. That is something you are interested in. Link is in the description below. Again, it begins the week of January 13th. There'll be two group offerings this round, which we're excited about to do two at the same time to allow more men to join. Now, let's jump into this week's topic.
Holiday Parenting Tips: Be Present, Not Perfect
00:01:19
Speaker
So this week's is a real quick one, but I think it's important. So we have the holidays right on our doorstep and these are three quick tips, three quick areas of guidance, wisdom, advice, whatever word you'd like to use to help you navigate this effectively as a dad um or any parent really through this season. And so number one, it's about being present, right? Not perfect. We want to focus on connection. We want to focus on being present with our family, with our kids, with our spouse,
00:01:49
Speaker
um It's not about being perfect. It's not about having the perfect gift. It's not about having everything exactly right, but it's about being connected. Your kids, your children will notice a difference. Your partner will notice a difference. You want to be aware of the moments of joy, of laughter, of goofiness. We want to kind of step away from all the busyness of the season and just take a moment to pause and show up for them. be you know, play a game with them, play Legos, listen to music, drink that extra cup of hot cocoa or eggnog, whatever it is, it's about um feeling seen and valued. And and you as a dad, and you as a parent are kind of setting the tone for that. Like you you're you're the one setting the stage kind of the model for your kids about being present. Are they seeing a dad who's who's busy, who isn't present, who's disconnected, who's on his phone 24-7, who's stressed out? Are they and and they feel
00:02:40
Speaker
stressed out talking to you. Do they feel nervous about asking dad to play with them, to be with them? Is your spouse doing the same way? Are you trying to be so perfect and everything just right? But it's like, you're kind of like a, you know, a hot potato kind of thing. Any minute you're just going to like, you know, explode, right? What's
Managing Holiday Stress Through Emotional Regulation
00:02:55
Speaker
going on? So it's about being present, not perfect. Number two is about staying regulated. We all know that this time of year could bring on so many different emotions among so many different topics. It could be stress at work, it could be family stress. There's just so many things. It's like societal stressors and pressures around buying the right gift or having this kind of money or doing this or spending time with this person or making sure, you know, there's so many things that could pull us as parents, as dads in different directions. And so the best thing to do though is to stay regulated. And why that's important is because, well, How do you do when you stressed out? How do you do when you're irritable? How do you do when you're anxious and overwhelmed or pissed off? How does that impact you and the family around you and your coworkers? Do you like how you are in that state? My guess is you probably don't. And so we want to stay regulated. And why that's important is because when you're grounded, when you're regulated, you're able to effectively navigate the stress.
Maintain Personal Routines for Stress Management
00:03:48
Speaker
And that energy also impacts those around you, specifically your kids, specifically your family.
00:03:54
Speaker
they're watching you as a dad they're observing and taking in and and noticing all the things you do all the little things that you might seem you might think that seem to go unnoticed no they're picking up on that and staying regulated helps you navigate this stressful season and it's such a great skill especially for kids to see a dad who's able to kind of take stressful situations to remain grounded and and be able to navigate effectively now a thing that i like to do um especially with this is I really tend to kind of check in with myself every day as best I can. Nowadays I do skip and my wife is really good at reminding me, so I really thank her for those gentle reminders. But I begin to notice um any changes I do. So I make sure that I'm eating well, I'm sleeping well, I'm drinking enough water. I continue to do my kind of morning routine and practices, whether that's kind of some type of movement, some type of like meditation, breath work, prayer, journaling.
00:04:43
Speaker
or some combination of the above where I'm remaining to continue my practices that keep me grounded because all those things, at least for me, affect me greatly. And I know what can happen is when we get into these stressful seasons is we kind of let go of our routines, we kind of get too busy and we stop eating well, we don't sleep as well, we maybe we increase alcohol intake or something else or we we wake up late, we snooze, we don't work out, all these things that can actually add to our stress. So what I do is I'm very mindful of my routines. um Something else I do is I just notice once I tend to get feeling a little more agitated or anxious and I kind of like pause, I literally take a few breaths and just say, okay, it's not the big of a deal, just reset, let it go. And then I focus on what matters most to me. And that goes back to number one for me is again, being present, being connected, right? Not perfect.
00:05:29
Speaker
And the last one is really kind of, these all kind of go together, but it's about setting the tone. It's that your energy, your your mood, your, you know, again, your energy affects everything. It sets the tone for everyone. Everyone picks up on how you're doing, whether you want them to or not. You are that ah tone setter, right? That when we approach our traditions or our meals or kind of mistakes,
00:05:52
Speaker
If we approach that with like lightheartedness, with gratitude, with groundedness, those things become not
Impact of Parental Mood on Family Dynamics
00:05:58
Speaker
stressful. And your ability to embrace imperfection as a dad, as a parent, also teaches your kids to embrace imperfection and it teaches them resilience and joy. And so if we,
00:06:10
Speaker
We remind ourselves that we are that powerful to set the tone. I want you to ask yourself, what tone am I setting today to my kids around the holiday season? Am I setting the tone of anxiousness? Am I setting the tone of worry? Am I setting the tone of frustration with family and annoyance? And are my kids hearing that for me all the time? Are they picking up on what I'm saying and kind of carrying that? Or am I setting the tone for presence, for connection, for gratitude, for kind of simplification of life?
00:06:39
Speaker
of joy, of of peace. And I really want
Modeling Adaptability and Authenticity for Children
00:06:43
Speaker
you to think about that. What tone are you setting this holiday season? And ask yourself every day and then ask, okay, if I was a kid, think back to when you were a kid and imagine your dad acting the way you might be. is that How would that be for you if if you're you know if you're acting kind of stressed out and trying to be perfect and complaining about other family members? like What would that be like for you as a kid?
00:07:02
Speaker
and see how that impacts how you change. And so these are three quick tips on how to help effectively navigate this holiday season. um This is things that I'm doing. Again, I'm trying to remain present, regulated, and reminding myself that I set the tone. And so my encouragement to you is be present, stay regulated, and set a tone of peace, of calm, of connection.
00:07:26
Speaker
And part of this whole thing, part of why we do this is really about setting the stage. It's about modeling and equipping the next generation and yourself to be grounded, to be adaptable, to be resilient and authentic. And until next time, have a great day.