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What's in a Nut?
472 Plays2 years ago
For part two on our series about cheating, John discusses the idea of cheating death. Many want to, some have tried, all have failed. Could that change? Kevin discusses how he feels it would suck to live forever, and Greg is tired.
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Transcript
Beard Commitment for Viking Costume
00:00:00
Speaker
I'll never refer, so I'm gonna shave it off. You're gonna keep that thing till November 1st? Yeah. Well, I'm going as a... Originally, like, when you're getting married or something like that? Yeah, but it's kind of annoying, right? But it's kind of annoying to have, because it's just like... Like, literally, it just gets in the way. Why are you waiting till November 1st? I'm gonna go as a Viking.
00:00:19
Speaker
Oh, OK. Oh, for Halloween. Well, that's Halloween commitment to keep a beard for that long. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm kind of curious to see how much longer I can get it in the next, you know, eight months. So yeah, I can't I couldn't do it. Yeah. Well, I mean, because you're not a man. So is that what it is? Is that what you are?
00:00:41
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Because I'm a man who looks under 84, is what you're saying. Just barely. I don't think that's fair. I don't think I look 84. I definitely look like I'm going to prospect for gold.
Valentine's Day Reflections and Social Media
00:01:02
Speaker
History defeats itself as a comedy podcast. Kevin, John, and Greg are not experts, historians, or even all that smart.
00:01:14
Speaker
Welcome to History Defeats itself, a comedy podcast that looks at events or people from the past and wonders, why do we never learn from our history? Only one of us knows the topic and the other two are in the dark, learning along with you. My name is Kevin and I am joined by two people who give me all the love I need on a daily basis, John and Greg. Happy day after Valentine's, gentlemen. I really thought you were going to say your wife and kid.
00:01:39
Speaker
Like you should have said your wife no, they don't give me what you guys do oh? We didn't do anything I was working last night, and you know no I mean it's fine Super romantic yeah, oh yeah, we're romantic every day Greg. We don't need a hallmark holiday to tell us right oh
Podcast Promotion Strategies
00:02:02
Speaker
I don't need your corporate holiday to tell me that I love someone. I was I was looking at some stuff online that showed like the people that were were posting things about their significant others were the ones that were most either cheaters or like most and most desperate relationship status. Yeah, like they're in trouble. So good thing I ignored my wife the whole whole day and didn't post anything about her on social media.
00:02:27
Speaker
Just to let her know that we're solid. She doesn't care. She thinks it's sweet if I do something, but she doesn't really care. Like for Valentine's Day. Yeah, Courtney's the same way. It's a sham of a holiday. I got gin flowers. I got gin flowers. I also got gin flowers. Awkward. This is weird. They never showed up though from you guys.
00:02:54
Speaker
Did you take our flowers and say they were from you? I did not. You took each of our small bouquets, made a big bouquet out of it, and were like... Here you go, honey. I found these out front.
00:03:06
Speaker
Also they're from me. Yeah. Let me run upstairs real quick and write the card for this. I have something to do real fast. Hang on a second. I just cross out love Kevin with Greg. Not even love Greg. Just love, just, just Greg. You cross it all out. Love Kevin, AKA Greg. I call myself Kevin sometimes, you know, just for fun. Keep it spicy. Mix, mix it up. Whatever works, Greg, whatever works.
00:03:35
Speaker
Follow us on Instagram and TikTok. We also post
Introduction to Cheating Theme
00:03:38
Speaker
these episodes as video podcasts on YouTube. And be sure to sign up for our newsletter, The Mistorian. To sign up, head to www.historydefeatsitself.com. I don't know why I said www. I'm pretty sure you don't have to say that anymore. Right. It sounds good. Yeah. No.
00:03:59
Speaker
the www. I mean, yeah, it sounds, you sound old. You date yourself. That's like when I say pot. Yeah. Pot does it. And you know, another way to tell how old someone is is if they say a number sign or pound instead of hashtag. That's a good, that's a good sign. Yeah. That's a good sign.
00:04:19
Speaker
All right, John. So tonight is part two of our cheating theme. So you're up, buddy. Let's hear
Near-Death Experiences Discussion
00:04:27
Speaker
it. All right. Well, before we get started in my notes, and by notes, I mean the things I copy and paste it off of the internet, have either one of you gents ever had a near-death experience? Or not even near-death. Not in the sense that you were about to die on a table, but where you like a tree fell and it missed you by an inch, that kind of thing. You ever had something where you almost died, but not really?
00:04:48
Speaker
I had a really crazy one where so you know I brought this up before I used to play in rock bands in Chicago and we were unloading our gear like it like two three in the morning or something like that and our rehearsal space was your accident man that's fucking horrifying it was a
00:05:07
Speaker
The place that we rehearsed was not in the best neighborhood because, you know, it's hard to find a big, you know, huge building with a bunch of rehearsal spaces in it. But at any rate, we were unloading our stuff and I didn't know this. There was this big conversion van flying down the street and I was like leaned into the car, grabbing stuff. And I swear I got, I got out of, you know, I pulled whatever I was grabbing out of the back seat and I took a few steps back and this guy plows in to the car.
00:05:32
Speaker
like just annihilates it. I had glass in my hair. Like, I mean, it was like right in front of me that this happened. I was like in shock. It was so crazy. I mean, seriously, like like five, 10 seconds earlier and and we're not doing probably not doing this. Or it's a completely different topic. It would have been bad. It's a different kind of podcast.
00:05:55
Speaker
Yeah, it's the R.I.P. Kevin. Yeah, it'd be it'd be the R.I.P. Kevin podcast. I mean, it was it was it was freaky, man. It was really freaky. All right. That was my that's my experience with that. Well, I'm glad you're alive. Yes. Well, thank you. Thank you. Just just to edit. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you have a you have a lovely smile. OK. Well, thank you. Very nice. He does. Gregi. Oh, me. Yeah. I I want to shit my pants in a coals.
00:06:32
Speaker
That wasn't me so what? One time I was using a table saw my table saw and I don't really have any safety guards on it And I don't know if you know what a table saw is, but it's just basically it
00:06:45
Speaker
Table with a saw blade that spins really fast and you just crank that blade up and I was cutting a piece of wood and it got jammed in there and it kicked back at me and I kind of fell forward at the same time and Like I almost seriously my head almost went right in the fucking saw blade Really gruesome one too Wow. Oh, yeah, I probably wouldn't have died, but I bet a little bit of brains would have gone You might have died
00:07:13
Speaker
I might have died, and you know what? I just fucking kept on going, man. I'm like, that didn't happen. Maybe Skittles actually would have tasted like a rainbow to you, right? Because of the brain loss. Because of the brain loss. You think that's where the Skittles? Most people have a frontal lobe. I've got a Skittles lobe. I'm just saying, you have a piece of steel going to your brain and cut up some of your brain, and it's going to change shit, you know? Oh, yeah.
00:07:43
Speaker
I'm not a doctor, so I shouldn't say it. Maybe it doesn't. I don't know. God, it would be really cool. I'd like that you had to qualify that you're not a doctor because no one knew that going into this. Well, with this beard, you may think I traveled from the 1800s where I was a doctor, but I didn't. Yeah. I thought it'd be really cool if I just spoke with an Irish accent from then on. After you got your brain injury? Yeah, like it just affected my speech.
00:08:10
Speaker
Or you just couldn't speak English anymore? You only spoke like Mandarin? Mandarin, yeah. That's how you learn Mandarin quickly. That's the only way to learn it quickly. Have you, John? Well, since you asked. Yeah, so I was... A little leading, but yes.
00:08:28
Speaker
I went to go pick up a friend of mine. I lived in this town called Tuscaloosa, and I went to go pick up a friend of mine. It was a couple hours away, and we were coming back, and it was raining really hard, and the car I was in started a hydroplane, and I was coming down a hill, and it started a hydroplane, and then there was an 18-wheeler coming at me, and it started hydroplaning.
00:08:49
Speaker
And it was heading straight for me. Or I guess we're heading towards each other, but I don't think the driver was scared, right? Because he wasn't going to die. And I screamed. Just screamed. Because my buddy was asleep. I screamed. He woke up. And then we got hit with a gust of wind. And it literally, like, it missed us by maybe
00:09:07
Speaker
Half an inch and we like blew off the road. Oh fuck which was also terrifying Holy shit, yeah, that's like divine intervention shit. How did you not become like a born-again after that?
00:09:20
Speaker
Oh, because I just know too many of them. You know, even even if God's real, I just I'd rather burn in hell for attorney to have to deal with those people for only for like 80 years. You know, God would probably understand that, too. I would say I'm hoping that's
Exploring Immortality Concepts
00:09:32
Speaker
going to be my case. That's going to be my pitch. Right. I think it's a good pitch. I'm hoping that God does have a I hope he does have a sensibility like ours. Yeah, that would be ideal. He's like that would be ideal. Humans are ridiculous. I really think that how stupid is it that they believe in me?
00:09:51
Speaker
You guys want a beer All right, so if you what was the whole thing with the chick-fil-a deal like why were they so What's the hobby lobby guy think he's doing? People who love good chicken and crafts. Why are they so prejudiced? It's just such an odd thing to be both. I don't like gamer Guys have no idea how close I came to scrapping that whole genitalia thing anything
00:10:18
Speaker
It's about to be a bunch of Barbies and Ken's walking around. That sounds frustrating. Can you imagine if every woman, if every person on the planet was super hot like Barbie and Ken and you just can't fuck them? You think Barbie and Ken are hot, huh? Well... Yes, you know, I'm gonna back you up here, Greg. Yes, Kevin. Forget it.
00:10:42
Speaker
They're very attractive dolls. They don't have buttholes or penises. I think I've seen Toy Story way too many times to not think that's creepy. Also, I think they said if a Barbie was proportionate, so you're like an adult human.
00:11:00
Speaker
she would be like really fucked up looking like super long fucking shins. I think her back would constantly be breaking from the weight of her breasts. Yeah. And the zero waste. Yeah. And the zero waste. Lack of nipples. That's going to fuck her up. Yeah. Yeah. And really coarse, weird hair. You know, she probably couldn't hear anything because I don't think she has any ear holes and she couldn't sneeze because she doesn't have any nostrils.
00:11:28
Speaker
There's a lot of issues here. But she does have a cool ride. She does have it at a sweet house. Someone would say it's a dream house. Is it a Corvette that she drives? That's one of the things, right? I think so. Yeah, because I remember my sister having the red Corvette growing up, or pink Corvette or whatever. Yeah, I think it was pink Corvette. All right, so our second episode in the theme of cheating is cheating death.
00:12:02
Speaker
And so we're gonna kind of be a two parter. It's gonna last about 13 hours So we're gonna really get into cheating death. No, I just kind of want to talk about basically I'm gonna talk about
00:12:14
Speaker
Kind of the history of human beings trying to cheat death. And then like an example of someone who, actually a group of people who actually cheated death. Not to mention the lady we recently talked about in one of the podcasts who fell over the plane. I feel like she cheated death. I feel like she definitely cheated death. She did. So the fountain of youth, right? Human beings have been trying to figure out how to be immortal, probably since the time we stood up and, I don't know, started talking to each other.
00:12:43
Speaker
awful it does I don't want any part of that bullshit what depends like if I could be a mortal and and not not be able to get hurt our bigger boner you like not feel pain right and in other words like I guess if I was like Superman and immortal about emotional pain
00:13:09
Speaker
You could be what if you could be a mortal but you like sleep at 20 hours a day That'd be pretty bitchin. I would take that I would take that down Well, well you can do whatever you want but like
00:13:24
Speaker
If you're a mortal, you could pretty much get away with anything you want to do. Any bad habit, doesn't matter. Yeah. So John, you're hoping that you don't feel any pain or have any problems in life or anything like that? Well, I mean, I would have problems in life. I think that the biggest problem would be watching the people you love die over, which I mean, you know, as part of being human is you're going to like...
00:13:46
Speaker
It's guaranteed that the people you love are going to die, or you're going to die, or the people that love you are going to watch you die, right? I think you're just going to have to consider them to be like... You may not watch you die. I mean, I think it depends. Oh, I'm going to watch both of you die. And I know exactly this time and place and how it's going to happen. What happens if you... Sorry, go ahead. Go ahead.
00:14:05
Speaker
No, I was just gonna say, you just think about people that you love, like pets. You gotta get six, eight years. That gets sad, too. What happens if you get arrested and you get life in prison? You'll be here forever. Well, no, but life would be usually about a hundred year sentence. Well, no, I think it would be until you die. Well, think about it this way. What if you get the death penalty and they can't kill you?
00:14:31
Speaker
I wonder how long they would try. Which is why I don't want to feel pain. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would suck if you felt pain and you got the death penalty. Right? Because they would keep trying to kill you. So, or like if you get shot, you know, and you feel like you break all your ribs with a bullet going in and then it's hot and it burns. Yeah. And then, and then do you have to go through the normal healing process or is it different? You know, like if you get shot, is it like a Wolverine thing or whatever where it just heals up and then everyone around is like, whoa,
00:15:00
Speaker
or is it like you have to like heal my version of immortality is I'm Superman so the bullet just bounces off me okay what about kryptonite then how do you handle that
00:15:11
Speaker
It's more of a nuisance. Yeah. Well, here's the thing, right? Like, first of all, I'm from Krypton. I mean, so if we're going with it, let's go with it. I'm from Krypton. I'm not telling anybody about it. Yeah, I'm not going to tell anyone that that exists because I don't want to deal with that shit. Yeah. Right. And if it shows up on Earth, I'm going to pay somebody to destroy it. I won't. I'm going to get you. I'm going to get you a kryptonite pair of underwear.
00:15:37
Speaker
It's erectile dysfunction for Superman. So the Fountain of Youth is a mythical spring which allegedly restores the youth of anyone who drinks or bathes in its waters. And throughout history, it was believed, people believed it was lakes, rivers, streams. People would hear about these different bodies of water. And it goes all the way back to the 5th century BC in books.
00:16:06
Speaker
It kind of was interesting, like the fountain of youth, the idea of a fountain of youth that was kind of big, a very popular idea, like 2,500 years ago. And then it kind of went away. And then in the 15th century, or 16th century, sorry, the 16th century, it started up again. And when the
Historical Pursuits of Immortality
00:16:26
Speaker
Spanish and English and everything were coming over to the United States, oh, well, it wasn't the United States at the time, was it? The new land.
00:16:35
Speaker
It was, you know, there was like all these stories of how like in Florida there was this or in the Caribbean there was like, you know, the stream or there was this, you know, hot, there was this hot spring. And so, I'm trying to go back to my elementary school history. What was the dude's name who was famous for?
00:16:51
Speaker
Ponce de Leon. Ponce de Leon. Yes, Ponce de Leon. Ponce de Leon. Yeah, he was actually, he was looking for it in Bimini. There was some place in the Caribbean called Bimini, and that's where he thought it was. And unfortunately, he did not find it. Yeah, he did not find it. He was the governor of Puerto Rico, and then he left Puerto Rico and went to the Caribbean islands in search of it. And he died. So he died looking for it.
00:17:17
Speaker
He found the fountain of death. Damn it. That's opposite of what I was looking for. And that's what's so, what's really funny is like I was doing this is a lot of these like elixirs and things over time where people were trying to be immortal, most of the time it just ended up killing them.
00:17:35
Speaker
So one was, so here are seven ways that human beings have tried throughout history to have immortality. And this is from gizmodo.com, an article written by Lauren Davis and Diana Miller. That may be a typo, it may be Miller.
00:17:59
Speaker
Bill or Miller, if you're out there, I apologize. She's out there just like, son of a bitch. She's like, I want Chance to be famous. All right, so the first one is self-mummifying monks. So these are monks that actually mummify themselves while they're alive.
00:18:21
Speaker
They'd suffocate? Yeah, so here's what they do. They just wrap toilet paper on themselves? Yep, because everyone knows that's how you make a mummy. How about toilet paper you've got to wrap around yourself before you suffocate, I wonder. Well, are we talking double rolls or are we talking single rolls? You mean ply? Are we talking ply here? No, no, no, because now it's not just... Is it quilted? Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, it's double ply quilted, absolutely. Okay. And it's got a little bit of lotion in it, so you don't want to get chafed. That sounds marvelous. So a handful of monks.
00:18:51
Speaker
Mostly practitioners of these are full of monks. Is that what you call them? Like a group of monks is It's it's minx if it's a group of them it's minx not monks what yeah, so
00:19:08
Speaker
So most of them from the Shingon Buddhism tradition have turned the nightmarish practice of self-immocation in order to prevent their bodies from decaying. To self-mummify, begin by starving yourself, drinking a resin-like substance, and then voluntarily entering a burial chamber. Okay. Right? And so... Sounds...
00:19:33
Speaker
Sounds not very good for longevity. And so everything that they do start with starving themselves, too. It's like it's always the first step for a monk and anything they're going to do. That's crazy. First thing you do is you shut your fucking mouth. You take some study. I'm not talking anymore. That's true. And then I'm going to do really bad shit to myself. So according to some traditions, the monk isn't treated as dead.
00:19:54
Speaker
Instead, the monk is viewed as existing in a deep meditation trance. Some believe that the monks who entered this state would be called upon in billions of years when humanity would need them and their bodies intact.
00:20:10
Speaker
Yeah, but by then we're gonna be like bionic, so they'd be like, they'd be like, I'm ready to, oh Jesus. I'm gonna get my ass kicked with all these. Yeah, our meds are just, we're gonna be like a fucking world of super people. Yeah. Or just rubble. Yeah, probably that one. Probably that one. Or me rubble people. Like Barney Rubble. Yeah, we'll all be a bunch of Barney Rubbles.
00:20:36
Speaker
So the second one or the second so this is called the Bolshevik blood transfusion pioneer This has got to be this has got to be a good idea. Yeah, that is John's band name It is how did you know I didn't even that's I really love how in tune we are with each other Greg I'm a super fan. Yeah President of the fan club
00:21:00
Speaker
It's it's a it's ska covered in bluegrass. That's what I I play all ska but with bluegrass instruments That's does not sound good
00:21:10
Speaker
It's a niche. It sounds terrible. It's a niche. It's definitely a niche. Alexander Bogna... Bogna... Oh, fuck it. So I'm going to Alexander with a major player among the Bolsheviks. But Vladimir Lenin had him expelled from the party after the two men had a falling out. He also believed that blood transfusions were the key to rejuvenation and perhaps eternal youth.
00:21:40
Speaker
Bogdanov performed a number of blood exchanges and reported improved health after each one. Until the last one, that is. He exchanged blood with a student who was suffering from malaria and died shortly later. The student, for the record, survived the procedure.
00:21:59
Speaker
Well, they weren't actually sure. He may have died from malaria, or he may have died from the fact that it was two different blood types. Was he vaccinated? He was. He was. Yeah. But only for smallpox, so. Oh. Right. So the vid got him? Yep. The run-up? And by vid, you mean malaria.
00:22:24
Speaker
Well that wasn't a good idea. No. No. So each time he was saying that he felt better, each transfusion? Yeah, so he did it a couple of times and most likely the people he was getting blood transfusion, the people he was taking blood from and putting in his body were the same blood type as him. So they didn't know about types then? No. No, this would have been, because if he was linen, that would have been what, the 20s? Probably. 1910, 1920, something like that. Because the Bolshevik Resolution was at the end of the 19th. Bolshevik Resolution? Yeah.
00:22:52
Speaker
They figured it out. They did. The resolution not to do blood transfusion. We're going to kill all the Zars. You know what? Let's not do that. Let's just resolve this without violence. And that's the story of Russia. Now they're a peaceful nation. Obviously. No problems there. And they're great of turning over. The transition of power is fantastic at that country. Every four years.
00:23:19
Speaker
Fair and just elections. Yep, and very tolerant of protests and anything anti-government. The media.
00:23:31
Speaker
The many poisoned emperors of China, elixirs of life, potions and pills that could supposedly extend life or even make the person who consumed them immortal feature prominently in the history of imperial China. In at least a handful of cases, these elixirs actually made the consumer's life much, much, much shorter.
00:23:52
Speaker
as in they killed them within weeks. So, um, Shin Shi Huang, first emperor of the Shin dynasty, died at age 39, likely from consuming mercury, which he thought would make him immortal.
00:24:08
Speaker
He even took the substance with him to the grave. It is believed that a moat of mercury encircles his tomb. And this is greatly complicated. But this is greatly complicated plans to excavate his tomb. Because they're worried that there's just a whole bunch of fucking mercury in there. Well, you know what? That was smart on his part. I don't think we should be digging up tombs.
00:24:35
Speaker
Just let these people be buried. Die. I know. Let them die. I mean, I don't believe in ghosts and stuff, but that can't be good. No, and it sounds like he thought that Mercury was going to act as kind of a protective barrier on his health as well as his.
00:24:53
Speaker
Well, it did keep people from robbing his grave, apparently. It did. And so in a billion years, when all those monks come back, they can dig him up and bring him back to life with their magic powers. Yep. So who will be laughing then, Greg? Not you. You'll be dead. You don't know what I'm going to do when I'm dead. That may have a really good, dead sense of humor. That's true. He may cover himself with mercury or whatever, and then he'll be fine. Mote, mode of mercury.
00:25:21
Speaker
I'm gonna cover myself in Uranus instead. My anus or whose anus? Your anus. Or the planet. Since we're talking about planets, I just think- Isn't it Uranus? Well, it doesn't sound as fun. No, I think it was definitely Uranus when I was a kid, and they changed it to Uranus, and that's probably for the best. Now it's just like urine on us. Urine on us? Urine on us. Uranus. Uranus. Uranus. Uranus. It's just a dirty planet. You're inside of us.
00:25:48
Speaker
Just a sex-fueled planet, right? All sorts of weird kinks. Which is why we're going to blow it up. Oh, we're blowing everything else up. On the SSS Chick-fil-A. Henry II had a gold drinking mistress.
00:26:09
Speaker
So, although Henry II of France was married to Catherine de' Medici, his closest companion during his life was the widow, Diane de' Pothiers. It probably didn't hurt that Diane was known for her incredibly youthful beauty, just like Greg.
00:26:25
Speaker
which she maintained well into her life. It also makes sense that a woman famous for her youthful appearance would go to great lengths to preserve it. In Diane's case, this meant drinking a concoction made of gold chloride and diethythal ether, which
00:26:43
Speaker
Apothecaries claimed would prevent aging. Sadly, this substance slowly killed Diane, who perished at age 66. Recent studies of Diane's hair show evidence of chronic gold poisoning, which I didn't know you could get poisoned by gold. So that's cool. I mean, if you ingest it, I guess that kind of makes sense. But what if you wore a bunch of gold? Well, don't wear it on the inside.
00:27:04
Speaker
Let's ask Mr. T. Do what? Let's ask Mr. T. He probably does have some gold poisoning. There's a lot of gold chains. And rings. A lot of rings, too. Did he have earrings? I think so. Sounds right. I think he did. He had a mohawk. I wouldn't be surprised. He did have a mohawk. He still does. Probably. Yeah, I think it's funny that these people trust these apothecaries. It's just like, hey, do you know how I can live forever?
00:27:33
Speaker
Yeah. Drink this gold. Drink this. I don't know. Are you sure about this? Yeah. Why? You know, all the things you could pick. You're like, oh, mercury. That'd be the thing. Why not olive oil, right? Well, they're just picking stuff at random, I think. They're probably under a lot of pressure. We're probably looking at this the other way. It's probably like a king is like, if you don't figure out a way for me to live forever, I'm going to have you drawn and quartered.
00:28:02
Speaker
Right. And they probably knew that it would actually kill them. And they're like, Oh, you should take the mercury. Yeah. The mercury is definitely going to work. Yup. Was it so much worse than drinking Mountain Dew? I got a feeling like a hundred years from now, they're going to be like, wow, those guys were drinking Diet Coke. A hundred years from now, they're still going to say drink diet. If you have your choices are mercury and Diet Coke, go for the Diet Coke. Yeah.
00:28:28
Speaker
Coco take Russ off a nail, though. It will. Yeah. And it will, like, if you drop a tooth in there, which it'll eat a tooth within 24 hours or something like that. I didn't know that. Well, Greg, you've broken your teeth a couple of times. What did you do with those teeth? I did not drop them in. Do you have any of them? Let's try this out. Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't. What? That's a bummer. I didn't keep them.
00:28:50
Speaker
I got new ones. I had to say goodbye. It was really hard. Something like to talk about it. So Western alchemists, they also tried mercury as a elixir. But what they did was they tried to create something called the philosopher's stone, which was a mix of mercury and other things.
Bizarre Anti-Aging Experiments
00:29:09
Speaker
And then you would take that. And the idea was that, again, it would make you immortal.
00:29:13
Speaker
And, of course, handling that much mercury could be hazardous to an alchemist's health. For example, our good old pal and friend of the show, Sir Isaac Newton, he was deeply interested in creating the Philosopher's Stone, showed signs of mercury poisoning later in his life, and some of the signs of mercury poisoning are tremors, delusions, confusion, and severe insomnia. So Greg- So pretty much how I live my life. Right. I was about to say, Greg.
00:29:42
Speaker
I've been for years making fun of you because there's nothing wrong with you, but I actually think you have mercury poisoning Remember when we had those two guys from the Canadian podcast on Canadian politics is boring and he talked about his friend His friend had a bucket of mercury in his garage. Oh, that's right. I Just picture like an old wooden bucket just like Like go with a hole in it yeah Or maybe it was like yeah, there was like a Home Depot bucket. What are you? Yeah? What is it? How many?
00:30:11
Speaker
So it's, what was it, 15 gallons of semen? That's right, the Home Depot bucket was semen, I forgot about that. That was, it's a five gallon bucket. Right, so, but yeah, you wouldn't, over a lifetime, you wouldn't quite fill up three of them, right, I think. I think that was right. Yeah. It seems remarkably low. So, yeah, for those of you who are new to the show,
00:30:37
Speaker
Go back and listen to the older episodes. We filled five gallon buckets of semen. Live! We set a Guinness Book World Records of most dehydrated three old guys and own one podcast. And tired. And imprisoned.
00:31:02
Speaker
I don't know. I mean, I don't think we could go to prison. We have a warning on our, like it is explicit, right? That is explicit though. I think YouTube might take that down. And if they don't, that's not on us. That's on YouTube. That is YouTube's responsibility. Not mine. Come on alphabet. The elixir of life is guinea pig testicles. Okay.
00:31:30
Speaker
Charles Edward Brown Sequod was a respected psychologist. You know, it's right. Don't make fun of me for the way I said it. Cause you don't fucking know. You don't know. I don't know, but that doesn't sound right.
00:31:48
Speaker
He was a respected psychologist and neurologist, which I don't know, because again, this was like in the 1800s. So I don't know, like if you were a neurologist in the 1800s, that basically just meant you cut people's heads open. You probably just have to declare that you're a neurologist. He just had a business card made. He cut one on Vistaprint.
00:32:08
Speaker
I am a psychologist, neurologist, and spaceman. But he did something to the end of his, towards the end of his life, that tarnished his scientific reputation. He started injecting himself with extracts from the testicles of guinea pigs and dogs, claiming that it was a rejuvenating substance. He was, he was injecting himself? Yeah, so I guess he was, I don't, I mean, I didn't dig into it, but I mean, he was taking
00:32:35
Speaker
shit out of dog nuts. You're getting big nuts with a needle and then put it in his body. Um, convinced that he described, fuck did he come up with that idea? I mean, again, same way you come up mercury. You know what? They had a lot, they smoked a lot of opium back then. So you know, it got weird.
00:32:54
Speaker
Man, they smoke it. The worst thing I do is smoke weed and then I just eat a lot, but never guinea pig testicles. If you smoke weed, you'll probably be like, yeah, you know what I should do is inject those dog testicle fluid in my body, but then you never do because you're too lazy. Because you're just like, then I have to actually get up and that's not going to happen. And you're like, oh, cartoons are on, so I'll just watch those.
00:33:22
Speaker
No. So I recently I was talking to Courtney and I was just like, uh, I was like, you know, I'm kind of over like all the Marvel stuff and, you know, it's just like, Oh, that's big news for John. It's so played out and she goes, she goes, yeah. Cause you're 48 years old and I'm like, I don't think that has anything to do with it. Like I'm not a mature person. It's just, I'm literally just sick of it. Right. It was played out like six years ago. At least shut your fucking mouth. You shut your dirty fucking mouth. So it's played out now.
00:33:51
Speaker
Now that I'm done with it, it's played out. John makes the rules. Yes, yes. Convinced that he had discovered a bona fide fountain of youth, Brown Sequoia gave his formula away for free to other scientists. Some people dubbed it a miracle substance, while others, a lot of other people got pretty sick from it. There was at least one recorded death from his elixir, although it's not clear if the fellow who died knew what his doctor was giving him.
00:34:21
Speaker
The most what about it was killing do they know what it was I? Think it was the dog and guinea pig testicles, but I mean like what What about that would kill them you think I mean people eat bull testicles Right, but you don't inject them. It's the same you know like you can die from injecting air into your body So I don't know that's true. Maybe it was an air bubble. Yeah I'll spend
00:34:45
Speaker
Yeah, our semen. I don't think semen is supposed to go into your bloodstream. What were the dogs doing? Like when this was happening. Why are you putting a needle in my balls? I think Kevin nailed it. They were smoking opium. Yeah. I'm pretty sure he killed the dogs. I would guess. Probably. Yeah, but you get more semen. I don't think it's semen that he was after. Well, that's what's in the balls.
00:35:13
Speaker
Well, he could've just whacked him off if you wanted the semen. Would it just be like blood or like tissue? I don't know. We gotta get to the bottom of it. This episode's changing. This whole podcast's about to change. What's in a nut? That's what it should be called, this podcast. What's in a nut?
00:35:39
Speaker
The most famous user of this elixir was probably a guy named Pud Galvan.
Cryonics and Technology in Immortality
00:35:46
Speaker
So he was a major league picture. So I guess this would have been like, I mean, it would have been 30s, 40s. So I guess this is like in the 20th century.
00:35:58
Speaker
So he was known for using performance-enhancing drugs, and Galvin claimed that the injections helped him play better, but they certainly don't make him immortal. He died at age 45 of what is known as brain semen. Brain semen disease? Not related to what he was doing.
00:36:19
Speaker
totally different thing just randomly he died in a gangbang okay that's what he died in a gangbang so where's the go it was a it wasn't a talkie so so racing toward the cryonic future
00:36:41
Speaker
So this is definitely very recent. There has been some debate as to whether terminally ill people who want their bodies cryonically frozen should be able to have themselves frozen pre-mortem. In the case of Donaldson versus Van de Kampf, Thomas A. Donaldson asked the California court... Van de Kampf, like the fish guy? Yup. Probably, maybe. Actually, he wanted his body frozen. He wanted his body frozen. Frozen in tartar sauce.
00:37:21
Speaker
So Donaldson asked the California Course to declare that he had a constitutional right to pre-
00:37:27
Speaker
Pre-mortem cryonics to pre-die Well, but he before I think before everything could the case could be settled or whatever. He died in 2006. Yeah, that's bullshit Yeah, poor guy never got to live his dream of Being frozen to death or deep-fried Deep-fried then frozen. Yeah, then reheated. It's Donald Donald sticks
00:37:52
Speaker
It would suck if his instructions said to put him in a convection oven and just put him in a microwave and he came out all soggy and warm. It's like, I recommend putting me in the oven to reheat me, but the microwave's an option. His will is just cooking instructions. Preheat oven to 450. Well, this was before air fryers, so he'd be so excited to know the advancements in frying.
00:38:20
Speaker
Yeah, I'm sure he would, John. And then... He'd be shocked to find out he could be fried in air. Isn't it an air fryer? Who is telling me about this? It's just a convection oven. Yeah, we were having this conversation. Yeah, we were. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:38:40
Speaker
John was upset about that. Well, I was I was just saying it's so it's so ridiculous to me how we we just change words. It's the same. It's convection of it's the same goddamn thing. And all of a sudden it's like, oh, it's an air fryer and everybody's buying them. It's just like convection of around smaller. Right. So it's more concentrated. This the heat, I guess. But you even. But that's the thing, too, is you feel the same concept to air fry. You still got to put oil on it. All right. So I don't get how it's healthier. Well, it's not a deep fry. And if you spray Pam on it, it doesn't have the same calories.
00:39:13
Speaker
That's a one stick. Shut up, John. How do you know? I don't know, but I'm hungry. I'm getting hungry, too, now. I could really gain some deep right now. I could sure go for some of that guy that died.
00:39:27
Speaker
his testicles. I want to eat his deep fried Donaldson testicles. That was kind of like cryogenically frozen, fountain of youth, mercury, these were all things of the past. But human beings
00:39:46
Speaker
We, it seems that we're constantly looking for immortality, right? So you have religion, and most religions have some form of immortality, either through, you go to some place, go to bad, and you will live, so you either be tortured forever, or you get to live in, you know, some utopia forever.
00:40:06
Speaker
We understand the concept. Or some religions believe that basically you're absorbed into the body of a god. So whatever god they're worshipping when you die. What religion is that? Well, so here's the thing. There's over 5,000 religions in the world and a lot of... I thought you were... Just say Protestants.
00:40:28
Speaker
The Jews believe you get absorbed into... Cow balls. I was going to say a matzo ball soup. Matzo balls. That's what happens. Isn't that the same thing? That's what matzo balls were. So delicious. Matzo balls are made of matzo meal.
00:40:46
Speaker
Yeah. And they go in the soup. Yeah, they're good. So they're cow balls. No. There's no animal product in there at all. They're not even a festival. Israel oysters. Ah, shut up, Kevin. It's like 30 seconds to try and see. I know, I couldn't find it. It was worth it. It was worth the wait though. I like that one.
00:41:14
Speaker
It's embarrassing. Oh, and then you have reincarnation, right? So you get absorbed. And then there are some religions that actually, and this was crazy. I can't remember what it was called. You're big on absorption right now. Do what? You're big on absorption right now. I am. I am. But there was a religion in, there was a Greek religion where they believed that, and this was crazy, that we were made of small particles.
00:41:38
Speaker
and that those particles just went back out into the world. So it was like atoms. They had a concept or a theory about atoms. They didn't call them atoms. But anyway, I thought that was just kind of fascinating. That is fascinating. That's probably right. It's the closest to now, right? Yeah. I don't understand reincarnation, too, because no one knows if they're reincarnated. Yeah, so then it takes all the fun away. Well, how does anyone know that it's real, then, because you have no proof of it?
00:42:06
Speaker
Oh, wait, that's religion. Yeah, I'm like, wait a minute. What's the point of being reincarnated if you have no memory of your past life? Who have you been talking to that is in heaven? Shirley McLean. Oh, wait. She was reincarnated. You're like, Shirley, stop calling here. Raquel Welch died today. That's sad. Aw. Yeah. I liked her. Yeah. Know what I mean? Mm-hmm. I do. I do. Yeah. Yes.
00:42:36
Speaker
She was a very attractive human. And that really is the, how do we measure the worth of a person? How attractive were they? So, I mean, that's what I do. You don't have to talk to him. Just look from the outside package. Yep.
00:42:51
Speaker
It's what's on the outside that counts. Yeah, it's really true. You know, that's the number one advantage you can have is being good looking. It's not being intelligent. It's not your race. It's actually being good looking. White and male helps. No, it's actually being good looking. It's not being white and male. It's being a white good looking male. Oh, so ugly, ugly white males don't have good. I've seen a lot of ugly dudes, but pretty attractive partners.
00:43:20
Speaker
or in positions of power. Right. Right. So your theory sucks, John. No, no, it's not. I stand by my theory. I mean, yes, there are outliers like I don't think you were. I don't think you thought it out much in advance. It's OK. Wait, wait, man. Rule, buddy. No matter what they look like. You could be fucking ugly. Look at every sitcom from the 90s and 2000s.
00:43:49
Speaker
Every dude in there was super ugly and every one of their partners was like hot. Look at Congress! Yeah, look at Congress. Not a real attractive bunch. I'm really starting to question who I am and what I believe.
00:44:09
Speaker
Alright, so you're trying to question this beard. I don't know a question on that beard. It's like I said, it's getting annoying, but I'm just gonna keep going until... I think you were saying earlier that you had a problem when you put on t-shirts because your beard, you have to flip your beard out. Yeah, it's not a problem. It's not like I have cancer, right? It's another step in the morning. But you were just saying that, so I'm wondering if maybe you should get all like V cut shirts.
00:44:33
Speaker
Well it have to be it have to go it'd be deep V deep these even wide V right so we do some cleavage, too Good look good point his beard blocks his cleavage now. Yeah my fantastic titties
00:44:50
Speaker
because I'm a beard. God, you're really punishing us with that beard. Courtney would agree with you. Courtney believes that I'm punishing her with this beard. God, I would love it if one night while you're sleeping, you're woken up by the sound of snip. That would be so sad. What would you do? Would you like sewer? I'd take her to beard court.
00:45:18
Speaker
They've been waiting for this forever. And they're criminal justice system. They're her crime. So hang in us. Beard court. Law and order. Facial hair.
00:45:36
Speaker
So basically, human beings, before there was science, we had, in order to cope with death, we had religion, and then we had elixirs and magic or whatever. And I really do believe that is what it is. It's a way of, because I don't want to die. And I know I've had conversations with people, I mean, I just don't want to live forever.
00:46:03
Speaker
I don't want to live forever either, but I would love to get, like, 500 years. That'd be 50. Really? 500? God, I feel old right now. I can't survive 450 years of being older. I don't want to age at the rate I'm aging and be 500 years old and just be miserable for 420 years. I'm saying, like, I want to age slower, right? So right now, I would be 48. So it's a much, much slower, more painful death. It's like the little baby Yoda. The little baby Yoda is 50, right? And you're still a little baby. So like that. Spoiler alert.
00:46:33
Speaker
Well, I mean, if you don't know that, what is? Well, one for the spoiler alert, and two for aging slowly. I mean, I'm already there.
00:46:46
Speaker
But, oh, so, yeah, when I was talking to people, that was one of the conversations when I was having conversations with friends of mine who are religious, they would be like, well, what about when you die? I'm like, well, I mean, it sucks. You just die, and that's it. I am now, and when I die, this is it. I have no memory. I have nothing. It's just nothingness, right? There was nothing before I was born, and there's nothing after I die. And that's very sad. It's bleak. We've talked about it on this podcast. It's super bleak. Super bleak.
00:47:15
Speaker
But I do believe that. But I totally get why people are like, oh, I don't like that. What can we come up with when we don't have to face that? And what's really fascinating is we've had all this stuff in the past, and now we have science, and we have a better understanding of the world. And not that science is always right, but it's the learning process. And so now you have scientists, and basically it's like talking about, can we
00:47:36
Speaker
We can download our brains, right? That's the way we can be immortal or we can, you know, we're mapping out the brain to figure it out. Or there's actually, I was just reading an article today that got published where there's a company in New Zealand and they have a cancer medication that in rats, it
00:47:54
Speaker
they age slower and it gives them 10% longer life on average. And so they haven't tested on humans yet, but you know, because basically what it is, you have, when your cells split, there's like a little tail on all your cells, and over time that tail gets shorter and shorter and shorter, and basically once that little tail's gone, that cell completely dies.
Reincarnation and Life After Death
00:48:12
Speaker
And so that's basically like right now, all of us are in the process, we're at a point where our cells are now dying, right? There's still, you know, but we have less cells than we did
00:48:21
Speaker
10 years ago, which is crazy. Who's taking my fucking cells, John? You are. They keep splitting in half. I'm such a dick. With medicine, what they're trying to do is- I'm such a sulfated dick. With medicine, they're trying to figure out a way to stop that process from happening, stop the cells from splitting.
00:48:41
Speaker
Um, and there's this, there's a thing. So, uh, if the human lifespan continues to stretch, could we one day become immortal? The answer depends on what you think it means to be an immortal human. Uh, not dying. Right. That's a good start.
00:48:56
Speaker
But even with that medicine, so that's one of the things where it's like you're not immortal, it extends your life, but one of the things it does in extending your life is one of the side effects of the medication is that it decreases bone density. So you're more likely, you know, if it did work on humans, you would be more likely to break a bone, break a hip, you know, so you're more likely to suffer in your longer life. Sweet. Right. But you get to live longer. So, but to get back, like the reason I want to live 500 years is I love, I want to see what happens. I don't. Oh, okay.
00:49:26
Speaker
because it's not going to be good. But maybe it is. Maybe we turn a corner. You can always you can always jump off of something or another jump off a Zamboni. Yeah, too. Well, but but in the future, there'll be no ice rinks because it's going to be too hot. I believe in everything. And if you're going to live for 500 years, I mean, does that matter no matter what? Oh, yeah, I don't want that. I don't want 500 years to check out even if you want to.
00:49:55
Speaker
I mean. I think you can check out. Well, yeah, no, no, I'm not saying I would be immortal. I would just be. You could always get hit by a bus. Right, I would be like a turtle. One of those giant turtles that just live a long time. So you'd live a really long time unless you got hit by a bus or. Yeah. Or something like that. Or shot or stab. You would be immune from disease or what? People live that long. I want rules. I think accidents that much more tragic. Do you know what the number one killer of human beings is? Heart disease. Old age.
00:50:26
Speaker
That's what kills more people than anything else. That's generic.
00:50:34
Speaker
Well, so that's, so when they talk about mortality, that's actually what, when scientists talk about immortality, what they're actually talking about, they're not talking about making you bulletproof. They're, they're basically saying, so the number one, the number one killer of human beings is age. So if we can stop that, then we stop most people from dying. There's still going to be people who die. So you wouldn't be a mortal in this way. You wouldn't be invincible. You would just be, you would live a long time. I thought the number one killer of all of
00:51:00
Speaker
people is Justin Bieber. He's the number one reason people kill themselves. More so than Dave Matthews. That's a combined effort. So in this scenario, I have a question.
00:51:17
Speaker
I always like how we start asking questions like I fucking know. I have a theoretical question because you're saying that what they're basically doing is they're making it so when the cells split that they don't lose their tails as quick, right? Is that kind of what we're getting at here? Basically what you're doing is you're slowing down the process of the cells actually splitting.
00:51:40
Speaker
Okay, so you're slowing down the process of the cells splitting. So is that slowing down the entire aging process? The graying, the fatigue, the crankiness, all that stuff? Oh yeah, I could use this gray. And it's all just theoretical, right? Well, there's one company, they've added 10% to mice. So what do they do with that? So it's like they're on the right track.
00:52:03
Speaker
10% isn't that much, by the way. But if you're gonna live to 80 and now you're gonna live to 88, or if you're gonna live to 100, now you're gonna live to 110. And again, it all depends on- This guy is good with math. Quality of life. Hang on a second, I'm gonna pull up my calculator. But wait, what was the question, Kevin? I'm just curious, it slows the entire aging process. Oh, right, right. It doesn't just make you live longer with the same
00:52:28
Speaker
You know, like problems. I guess that's what I'm getting at. And so what you would do is you wouldn't start taking it at 10, right? You would wait until you get to an age where you're like, oh, okay, I'm 30 years old. So I really want to start slowing it down now, right? Or I'm 25. You don't want to slow it down at like six. No, no. Or like, can you imagine being a teenager for 40 years?
00:52:54
Speaker
Oh God, you'd be so moody. What about brain? I don't know if you know this, but does it slow down? Because, I mean, brain development is the thing. I mean, think about this. How much you're smarter now than you were when you were 30, but is that just because of life experience or is that because you've aged physically? Do you think you're smarter?
00:53:19
Speaker
And I'm not being a dick. No, I do. I do, yes. I mean, I'm certainly more wise. I certainly understand more. Like you have more experience. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know. I actually don't know. OK, so there's this quote. So I don't think when people are even asking about mortality, they really mean true immortality unless they believe in something like a soul, Susan Schneider, a philosopher and founding director of the Center for the Future Mind at Florida, Atlanta. That's a fucking mouthful. That's a really long title.
00:53:48
Speaker
If someone was, say, to upgrade their brain and body to live a really long time, they would still not be able to live beyond the end of the universe, which I thought was very fascinating, because that's also a thing about, like, all scientists believe that the universe is going to end, right? It's billions of years out, but even if you're able to, you would still have an end date, right? You will not live for an eternity because the universe itself will end.
00:54:13
Speaker
So, how do you know by then we won't figure out a way to get out of this universe and go to another universe? I don't. I don't know anything. I still can't imagine living for a billion years. I copied and pasted and then cut stuff down. Like I don't want people to think that I don't know. I don't know. No one does think you know. I'm just kind of bringing up stuff. I know. I know. Oh, it's weird. John's got all the questions that no one's ever been able to answer. Good job, John.
00:54:39
Speaker
But he did a lot of research for this episode. So many humans grow old and die to live indefinitely. We would need to stop the body from aging. A group of animals may have already solved this problem, so it isn't far-fetched as it sounds.
00:54:54
Speaker
Is it the turtles? No. There's something called a hydra, and they're these small jellyfish-like creatures. So they don't have a vertebrae, and they're a vertebrae. And what they do is they're made up of stem cells that are constantly divided to make new cells. And as their old cells are discarded, the constant influx of new cells allows hydra to rejuvenate themselves and stay forever young. So they could literally live for thousands of years.
00:55:22
Speaker
If they don't get eaten, you know, because again, it's only with aging. They can still get eaten by something or they can still, you know, get freeze to death or boil or whatever.
00:55:38
Speaker
Hydra show that animals do not have to grow old, but that doesn't mean humans could replicate their rejuvenating habits. So at 0.4 inches long, Hydra are small and don't have organs. It's impossible for us because our bodies are super complex and we have billions of cells that are constantly dividing and dying.
00:56:01
Speaker
Right, so and then that kind of goes back to what you're asking Kevin, so it's like if we were to stop the cells from splitting, how would that affect how we learn, right? And you would also, you may have a problem. Yeah, what all does it affect? Right, like you may even have the problem of, you know, because part of the reason, you know, maybe you end up with like your blood gets so thick you die because your heart can't pump it or, you know, it's like there's like a million things that could happen because your body is a system that is supposed to, you know,
00:56:27
Speaker
It has an expiration date. Yeah. Humans may be able to live beyond their biological limits with future technology advances involving nanotechnology. This is the manipulation of materials on a nanoscale, less than 100 nanometers or 400 billionths of an inch, about the size of Greg's penis. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Penis joke.
00:56:51
Speaker
That was a good one. I had to get it in there before anyone else put it on me. Self preservation. It was a self preservation joke. Yeah. Machines as small could travel in the blood and possibly from aging by repairing the damaged cells experienced over time. Nanotech could also cure certain diseases including some types of cancer
00:57:12
Speaker
about removing cancer cells from the body according to the University of Melbourne in Australia. And finally, the new frontier is, again, with AI. Earlier we were talking about AI and GPT and all that stuff, but that's one of the things where if AI
00:57:32
Speaker
We're trying to map out the brain, but it's going to take us decades. And if we get AI involved, we may actually be able to map out the brain very quickly. And if we can map out the... They're already in realm worms. They're able to scan a realm worm's brain and reproduce its behavior in a robot and a program. But the realm worm has about 302 neurons, and we have...
00:57:56
Speaker
a billion. But the point is that they've started. They've actually started the process of cheating death by being able to map out the brain. So if you could download your brain, you wouldn't have a body, but you're like who you are.
00:58:15
Speaker
And it's all theoretical, because could you live on? What makes Kevin Kevin? Do you have a soul? What is consciousness? All that kind of shit, right? But as far as the actual memories and shit like that, eventually they will be able to scan your brain and download that, so you'll be this program. Stephen King was right.
00:58:38
Speaker
He always is. So so you can have like you can have like in your music library, I can have like also just Greg's thoughts. Randomly pop up and tell me how much he hates Dave Matthews while you're listening to Dave Matthews. Yeah. It's like, well, what you he's like, I hate this song. I'm like, shut up, Greg. I'm listening to fucking Dave Matthews. I'm driving to work.
00:59:01
Speaker
Didn't need to hear your shit right now. God, I'm already dead. You're driving to work still. So anyway, that's, oh, I'm sorry. And so here's the one example of human beings actually, I mean, human beings have cheated death in a lot of ways, but I read this and I don't remember this happening, but this happened like early 2000s. So Sabina de Lamar, Dominican Republic.
00:59:28
Speaker
So there was a ship that left, like a group of 16 people, left the Dominican Republic trying to get to Puerto Rico, right? Because the conditions were so bad. And so they got lost. And so their throats were so dry that some could only spit blood. They could barely talk. And that's when one passenger on the journey to Puerto Rico, Faustina Mercedes, now called Little Angel of the Sea, gave a unique gift.
00:59:53
Speaker
She shared the breast milk once reserved for her one-year-old daughter back home. So she left her daughter at home. She's in this boat with 15 other people. They ran out of water, ran out of food, and she was praying to God, and God told her to let everyone have breast milk. So she actually, so every day for 12 days, everybody in the boat would suck along this lady's breast for like 20 seconds, and that is what kept them alive.
01:00:19
Speaker
until they were able and actually the current took them back to the Dominican Republic and they're able to pedal, paddle back in and get out of the boat. But they survived for 16 days at sea, 12 days of those on breast milk. So they all, 16 of them cheated death. Because without her, they would have all dehydrated. They all would have died. And cheated on their spouses. Because. Oh, really? Kevin, that's what you're thinking of? You son of a bitch. You would have seconded that titty. I think you get a pass.
Humorous Reflections on Immortality
01:00:45
Speaker
I think you get a pass. Right.
01:00:50
Speaker
Probably would have Greg for that survival. I wouldn't have been like nope. She don't wouldn't like this She'd rather I die put your breast away. I'm offended. Well. What is what is Mike?
01:01:05
Speaker
That's fucked. Well, no, he would just. Yeah, he would. And they also there was a half rotted orange that was like floating the ocean that they found and they all split the orange. Like, could you? Oh, God, that sucks so bad. Yeah, John. Well, that's the thing is like, like, I like I.
01:01:26
Speaker
And we've talked about this, you know, like Greg was saying, I don't want to live, I don't want to be in the apocalypse. I don't want to survive it, right? I want to die good. But you want to live for 500 years. The apocalypse is coming before that. You'll have a couple of apocalypses. I want to live 500 years and like play, like in this, right? Like this is nice. Keep living like this. This is fantastic. Everything's going really well right now.
01:01:49
Speaker
I mean, for me, it's going fantastic. For you, yes. Yes. For you, yes. In your bubble, it's pretty good, yeah. Yeah. It is. It is pretty good in my bubble. But oh, so basically, that's it. That's all of it. And so we're just going to toast that here's human beings. We have not figured that shit out yet, but we're going to keep on trying. I'm the only one actually drinking alcohol. But yes, yes, we're going to keep on trying. You think we're going to keep on trying?
01:02:14
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And I think that's with the, you know, it went from religion and elixirs to now technology is going to make us immortal, right? So we're always going to have that dream or be looking for that way to live forever, I think. So in that sense, we're just going to keep defeating ourselves. I've seen lawnmower man, John, I get it. Cheers, guys.
01:02:41
Speaker
All right, thanks everyone for listening. Thanks, John. That was a lot of fun. Greg, go finish the move. We'll do. All right. All right, guys. See you guys next time.