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51. Juneteenth & The Dog Hater
48 Plays1 year ago
This week we get educated on Juneteenth and discuss the Cockney dog hater...
Get in touch with the pod at TalkShitToUs@gmail.com or @TSYBPOD on the socials!
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Transcript
Casual Greetings and Introduction
00:00:12
Speaker
Hi. Hi. What's up? How you living? Girl, you look good. Oh, that's very productive.
00:00:25
Speaker
Quit sticking your boobs in my virtual face. Hey, I like doing that. If you don't want to get hit on. This took a weird turn. I'm sorry.
00:00:36
Speaker
Welcome, everyone. This is Talking Shit with the Yank and a Brit. I'm the Yank. And I'm the Brit. Hi, everybody. Thanks for coming back to episode 51. Wow. That's even more exciting than 50 somehow. I don't know why, but it is. Because we've taken the leap over. We're over the hill. Yes, we have. And now closer to 100. And we are zero. Oh my God. That is so true. And also crazy. Yeah. And deep. So philosophical.
Mad Week and Health Concerns
00:01:09
Speaker
We are quite philosophical. How's your week been? Mad? Yeah. Mad for reasons that we might divulge someday down the road. Yes. Not at this present time, but confidential secret stuff. We can't tell you Jim's pregnant.
00:01:28
Speaker
No, I'm not. so She's not. I'm just kidding. I'm sorry. She's she's not. It was a joke. I did get a letter through the post the other day, though, to invite me to a cervical screening. So, you know. Oh, you get that sounds really nice, actually. like My doctor sent me a letter saying, you are cordially invited to have your cervix screened at our facilities. I feel like, okay. yeah Thank you so much. Take a look. Once I got a call and beg them to do it. I will have to do that because I have to call the GP and beg for an appointment.
00:02:04
Speaker
Okay, so it was kind of like a reminder letter. Yeah, because I haven't been registered with a doctor for a long time and I'm well overdue one. And then I registered at the doctors the other week, just in case. um And yeah, just had the letter through from the NHS saying, it's time to look at your vagina. Did I ever tell you? I don't know if I actually really want to talk about this on air. Okay, don't. Let me just say, I want to encourage everyone, not just women, but I feel like women in particular because of how our bodies are and our genitalia are. um It's really important to check your all of your skin for pesky, potentially problematic moles and skin issues. Oh, really? Yeah, including your no-no place.
00:03:01
Speaker
I just think it's important that we all like skin covers our entire body. I have to go get skin checks. And I recently read an article or someone told me a story. It might've been a friend. I can't quite remember the origin of this, but basically someone had skin cancer in a spot that is hard to see. Yeah, it's hard to see. And I have a very good dermatologist who checks my skin, but I've never actually asked nor has she been fully inquisitive of all of my skin. So, um, I just think it's important that we take care of our bodies. So when you go to your doctor, be sure to, you know, express a desire for them to clear you in that regard.
00:03:42
Speaker
okay
00:03:45
Speaker
Good to know, guys. There's a PSA from ye the Yank. In addition to talking shit, we also want to raise awareness. Yeah, that's what we're here for, to help and serve. um yeah I do have, I guess, a doctor or a couple of different doctors for different things, and I just really wish they would invite me. Just send me a nice scroll. Yep. Maybe with a carrier pigeon. so yeah Or owl. We could do another Harry Potter situation.
Significance of Juneteenth
00:04:18
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:04:20
Speaker
happy Well, I know your week's been mad and I guess mine too, but I am off today, which is special. You're never off. I'm never off, you're right, but we, you know, on this Wednesday, today is a holiday and I feel like I want to just talk about that a little bit. You call that? I'm cool with that, yeah. So for the listeners, obviously this will come out after the holiday, but it's it is the 19th of June today, whilst we record this 51st episode. Whilst we record this telegram, it is Juneteenth.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yep. And Juneteenth is only recently a national holiday and you may well know all about it, but I made some assumptions here that you don't. I have a little about it. Okay. Okay. Cool. Well, just a couple of questions for you before we get started. I want to see if there's like, where are we in the foundational knowledge? You did tell me it's going to be a quiz. Easy quiz, I think, for you. That's fine. I just want to know where you're at so I know how far back I need to go. Okay. Where do I start? Music, some sort of music that fits for this conversation. I don't know what that would be, but pretend it's happening now, listeners. and We have a nice little kind of fade out into Gemma.
00:05:58
Speaker
You know how America was built by and on the backs of enslaved black people? Oh, I do. Yes, I'm very aware of this fact. Okay. And do you you you know how literal slavery has been um abolished for a while? but America continues to oppress and marginalize black and brown people in ways that stem from the enslavement of black people and in other ways, which I'd argue is effectively equivalent to how white people benefited from slavery you know prior to the abolition of it.
00:06:32
Speaker
ye
00:06:36
Speaker
Great. Then we can just move right on to Juneteenth then. Okie dokie. so Actually, one more question. yeah Do you know which president was if like has been noted to be the person who abolished slavery? Lincoln. Great. Oh, my God. You know more than like half of America, I think. You're right. Check me out. um so yes ah It was on... Let me look at my notes here because, of course, I can't remember anything. September 22nd, 1862.
00:07:13
Speaker
which you will also know is not June 19th. No. um President Lincoln issued what is called the Emancipation brocoly Proclamation. You've probably also heard that. Emancipation Proclamation. Sounds like a wrap. It's got a very nice like flow to it, doesn't it? It does. this mandate, I'll call it, ah declared that all slaves, including those held in and specifically those held in rebellious areas, are free and therefore this effectively abolishes slavery. um and It would take effect on January 1st, 1863, which you will also note is not June 19th.
00:07:54
Speaker
yep um you know And i as I was just doing the the research for this, because of course I didn't have these dates, I was like, September, January, you gotta give them time to get ready to not have slaves, I guess, which they gotta learn how to do their own laundry and you know clean plants. Turns out that wasn't enough time. um you know Because you would think that june for er January 1st, 1983, slavery is done. Any person owning people as slaves, they don't get to have slaves anymore. Those people who are slaves aren't slaves anymore. They're free. Well, ah no. um so Many jurisdictions pretty much said, that's fake news. And, you know, there wasn't
00:08:46
Speaker
social media, there wasn't like televised news, there wasn't phones. What did they tell everyone? Carry a pigeon. I mean, and I suppose with in september or in September of 62, he issued that and gave them, maybe that's partially why it was set for January to make sure the news spread. um so I think by the time January 1st rolled around, like everyone pretty much knew it was happening at that point. But that like I said, there are these states and jurisdictions that are like, that's fake news, not going to believe, don't believe everything you heard or read in the letter from your mom who lived in New York.
00:09:26
Speaker
ah and
00:09:30
Speaker
The other issue was many states were still under Confederate control because the Civil War, which was you know the Confederacy and the Union battling it out, was still ongoing at that point. It didn't actually end until like April 9th of 1985. Those states that still were like, we're the Confederacy, we're seceding from the nation, blah, blah, blah. No, even though the Emancipation Proclamation basically said, like it's those states that need to give it up. and It was not without limitations, though, for a couple different reasons, some of which are probably not going to be surprising.
00:10:05
Speaker
it did apply only to states that seceded from the union. And so those loyal bordering states were not like envisioned by this, um even if people had slaves in them. ah And it exempted parts of the Confederacy that were already under the union control, which you know I'm thinking about it it's kind of like, well, if the union was in control of those states or the bordering states were loyal, then they shouldn't have slaves either, right? But I think the reality is there probably were still slaves in those states. um
00:10:36
Speaker
and And this proclamation really hinged on the union winning the war, which wasn't over yet. So it's kind of like hedging your bets. Like some of the states were kind of like, well, we're going to win because of that. you know blind optimism sometimes people have even in the face of really no hope left for you. yeah right There was some so but symbolic significance about this though, um one of being that now every advancement that the union military made was kind of in the name of freedom. They're like advancing freedom with every win, minor or big that they have. so There's that kind of pride, I guess.
00:11:20
Speaker
um they also This also effectively made it so that black people could be enlisted into the union ah military. so i liked this So I put it in quotes, the liberated becomes liberators. So they basically were freed and then went to help free others. um And they did. There's lots of stories about black troops going to those states and and basically doing that. Um, it also, I, I didn't know this and I don't know if it was like directly in the emancipation proclamation or if it was kind of like the indirect result of it, but it conferred citizenship upon the now ex slaves, um, which.
00:12:03
Speaker
ah kind of you know I had this like kind of ah had to work through it in my brain. They were in America. Slaves were treated as property. They weren't considered people. Now they're free. Now they're people, even though I don't think that's exactly what happened right at that moment. They should have also then just been citizens, but that's not how it worked. right so I suppose at that point in time, you're newly a person in this country, so I guess you also need to now be noted to be a citizen. Anyway, according to what I was reading in the research I i conducted probably about two hours ago, um they were also made citizens, okay? So great. These are all good things. These are all but important things.
00:12:48
Speaker
yeah um and I had wrote something about like simply ah eliminating their physical imprisonment would not eliminate the potential metaphorical imprisonment without it. There was also this moral force at play behind the union following the Emancipation Proclamation because it strengthened the blah, blah, blah. I had a really easy day today. I don't know why I'm like this. It's too easy. Yep. it It strengthened the union both militarily and politically.
00:13:22
Speaker
There was debate even in the North, which is the Union states, the states that aligned with Lincoln, um that he actually didn't have the authority to issue such a proclamation. So there was also kind of this, you can't do that, whether it's Congress, constitu constituents, and that's- I'm sorry, sir, but he is your president. You can do what he likes. I agree, but also then
00:13:49
Speaker
ah you know I think there's arguments about it in times of war and stuff presidents can issue executive orders such as this. um You may or may not have heard about some of the debate about President Biden's choices about student loans and Congress debating and then the Supreme Court debating whether or not he actually could do that. It has the authority. That's always the thing, right? Like each branch of government has specific ah powers. Presidents can issue executive orders only about specific things unless Congress says they can. Under your weird shit with like yeah state laws and federal laws and things. Very confusing. I don't understand that. Yep. There are certain things that is exclusively within the powers of the state via the constitution. There are certain things that are preempted by federal law, which means federal law, Trump state law. Yeah, it's all ah it's a whole thing. um It's a whole fucking thing. and It's very confusing to us British people who we listen to, the queen or the king.
00:14:43
Speaker
Do you? Nope. They don't do shit. um you know i i think Considering how little the Constitution and and shit has changed since President Lincoln's time, my guess is the arguments people were making back then about like he can't do that are probably still arguments used today because the Constitution is old as fuck. um but you know People felt that way and no one seemed to do anything about it because it things still progressed in terms of that mandate and the union and thefeder union pursuing it and the Confederacy trying to fight it. and
00:15:26
Speaker
whatever way they could. well good um But there was something really clever that I also didn't know or think about until I was like kind of educating myself a little bit more about this, and this is more about the Emancipation Proclamation than Juneteenth. But Lincoln associated the Confederacy with pro-slavery and the Union with being anti-slavery. And that like value basically made any friendly foreign entity that was friendly with the Confederacy, which was Great Britain and France. Basically, they couldn't help them anymore because Great Britain Britain and France were also anti-slavery. By the way, Great Britain and France, ah you guys love the Confederacy so much, but they love slavery a lot. They're like, well, we can't intervene here and we're not going to recognize you. and That was their hope. and I think that hope was like ultimately what they're latching on to to maybe
00:16:23
Speaker
turn the tides in the Civil War, yeah but it kind of cut that out from under them. It was pretty smart that Lincoln kind of associated those values to the different sides. That's kind of the clever military and political posturing that occurred. um
00:16:41
Speaker
Now, kind of that's a little bit about the Emancipation Proclamation. back to the jurisdictions that were either not so included in that issue and sub the EP, or they were like, fuck you. We're not doing that. Um, how do you think the slaves felt in those States? but and The ones that were like, fuck you. We're not doing that. Yeah. Basically, you know, this, this mandate was issued, slavery's over and you're in a state where they're like, we're not doing that. no were not Um, probably pretty fucking angry.
00:17:16
Speaker
um yeah yeah Imagine that hearing that that's that's happening and then your, in quotes, owners being like, nah, we're not doing that. Yeah, I couldn't, like, as I was kind of writing out my notes, I was just like, what is even an adequate word or emotion to describe? Like, cause obviously we're white and have would have never been in, you know, an equivalent situation to any black slave, but pretty fucking pissed and probably pretty terrified too. Yeah. It's always that thing of did these people not just
00:17:58
Speaker
Imagine themselves in that situation, you know, putting themselves in and the slave's shoes. Like, how would they fucking feel? Well, what you're describing is I think called empathy, ah which is a trait that I think a lot of people lack. But I also think there's this notion of when you can dehumanize someone or a group of people, it becomes very easy to dislike other yourself from them. And that's why we've seen what happened with the Holocaust and yeah literally any other genocide because
00:18:34
Speaker
we either remove ourselves so far from them and that we cannot relate to them on a human level or I think the benefit of having distance to, you know, like you can't you can't conceptualize it in a way because it's like that's a whole other world away, you know, but I know what you mean. And I think probably there were some, even if it took the Emancipation Proclamation for people to be like, actually, I know I'm in a state that's not enforcing this, but I am. Maybe I'm going to empathize here, but I just think it's they were viewed as property. They weren't viewed as people. I mean, they sold this is where I was going with this kind of line of thought, is they sold, they split up families, parents and children, husbands and wives because of that. and so There's a high possibility. In fact, i I don't have any names or examples, but I know for
00:19:22
Speaker
it's certain that we would have a husband in a free state and a wife who wasn't or kids in one state and their parents in another. So we have like the people who are free um not being able to figure out where their family is and or finding out that they're in a state that is or jurisdiction that's not following the mandate. Oh, white people are so horrible. I mean, there was the episode title, I think. Yeah. I think we might have an episode. We might already have one called White People Are So Terrible. ah Part two, I guess, Electric Boogaloo. Sort of not related, but kind of related to the topic, I was watching um
00:20:04
Speaker
There's a program called ah the Misadventures of Ramesh Ranganathan. He's like a Sri Lankan, well, British Sri Lankan comedian here. um And he goes to countries that we're sort of told you shouldn't go to because they're dangerous or they have a bad reputation, something
Human Rights and Cultural Critiques
00:20:23
Speaker
like that. and Like America, yeah. Yeah. and travels around to you know see if it's true and what the countries are like and stuff and he's just released a new series which I watched the other day and he went to um Uganda where there it is still a crime and a punishable crime to be gay
00:20:49
Speaker
And his guide that was showing him around the whole time was like this really lovely woman who was actually like a princess to the royal family there. at turnedau Anyway, and they were debating it because obviously he was, you know, dead against um that discrimination and and and her argument was just so, it's so difficult to understand. when we don't see it that way. um But yeah, like there their whole government like recently passed this law and upheld this law to like 360 to one. One person objected it. um And it's- Is that one person okay? Do we know? i've to That's what I thought. It was like, they're probably dead now. um But yeah, it's just crazy to think that like people
00:21:45
Speaker
Still think shit like that. I think it comes down to. There are there are just certain things that might personally. I refuse to and cannot like be like, oh, I understand why you would think that way when it comes to marginalization or subjugation of people, right? So like when I hear like a Christian argument of like, well, you know, marriage and it's not in the Bible and they shouldn't blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm just like, I don't think a book that we really can't say much about the source of or like whatever, fine. I get religion, we don't have to get into that. Book trumps some like really kind of basic human needs and like, you know, maybe then maybe no one should get married.
00:22:44
Speaker
Because like to me, marriage is kind of another institutional thing that we don't need to do, but we, because of the traditional values of our country, say this is something you have to have when in reality, like you could be in a relationship with someone for decades and basically be a married couple, but don't get a share insurance or anything like that because of the institution of marriage. And because so you haven't signed a contract. yeah to say you're gonna be with someone forever. yes wasn't that Yeah, You know, it comes back to the fricking pro life nut jobs as well.
00:23:20
Speaker
I just don't understand that, especially the women ones. I'm just like, dude, for like jo I literally don't understand your point of view. No. And I always wonder if it's like, well, when you're in a situation where now this is something that you might need or like something you have to consider, you will change your tune. It's like all hypocrisy to you hear about all the men who are anti-abortion and then it's like, oh, but you also paid for your mistress's abortion and and all of this. so wasn't it yeah yes Anyway, sorry. Oh, that's okay. I mean digress. I digress to you. It's fine. um But I think you know just thinking about
00:24:08
Speaker
it it it While this was ultimately an an intention to like improve the lives for people, shit got really hard for a bit because there was a lot of confusion, can't find your family.
Juneteenth as Independence Day
00:24:17
Speaker
you know They're still in one state, I'm in another. like The fact that there was like this non-compliance and this resistance to this abolition effort um raised tensions, so on and so forth. yeah um and Did the government do anything about it, like people that were So I think I said that the civil war ended on April 9th, 1865. But that's like and two years afterwards. ah yeah Also still not June 19th. No, still not the 19th of June.
00:24:53
Speaker
But basically what happened is, you know so the states that were impacted and cooperated cooperated, the states that didn't didn't, the war still went on. The union continued to advance and like kind of take over Confederate areas, it bring it into the union, people would surrender and stuff. And they continued advance go and free a town or a locale and stuff like that and enforce the emancipation proclamation. Right. But it took until June 19th of 1865 for the last and a group of slaves to get that benefit pretty much. And it took the U.S. Army pretty much getting to that final place, which I'll have you guess where. And it being like, hey, guess what? We're here now to basically enforce this thing that was put into place technically in 1863 or
00:25:50
Speaker
1862 and then one, one 1863. Here we are. What state do you think that was? Uh, my initial thought was Texas. a like to me Yep. So, ah Texas was a particularly rebellious state who continued to stand off for the two years and support slavery and and and allow slavery. And on June 19th, 1865, the 250,000 slaves in Texas were the last bastion for slavery were legally declared free. 250,000 just in Texas. Yeah. Christ alive. Yep.
00:26:31
Speaker
And they had to go to Galveston Bay, Texas for that to happen. The military, they had to like literally march their asses down there. Really? Back here now. So, June 19th. So that was the last day. Well, the last slaves were released, I'm going to say. Freed. Yep. um So June 19th became Juneteenth by pretty much the freed black people in America um in Texas. I mean, the there's a lot of debate about like the first Juneteenth celebration and all of that. And maybe it doesn't really matter who was first because I think the reality is, is
00:27:19
Speaker
as each population or area was kind of finally liberated. They you know had their own celebrations at various times, right and but eventually because of this town in Texas or Texas being the last state in this day, Juneteenth became kind of the common the common celebration in what it was called. um and Many refer to it as the Second Independence Day of America, which In my opinion, because no one's free until we're all free, it really should actually just be the legitimate Independence Day of America because the 4th of July, as we've discussed, isn't even like that was just like a fucking arbitrary day that was picked anyways. They just picked that out of a hat. It doesn't even mean anything. Yeah, so sure. like I think that that should be the
00:28:10
Speaker
the day that we we celebrate independence. I agree with you. Yeah. Thank you. I thought that just made made a lot of sense, and I like to be validated, so I appreciate that. And for years, local celebrations in different jurisdictions, small communities, like communities, primarily black people, have been acknowledging this day and celebrating this day for a really long time. Now, bringing us a little bit more to modern day, um
00:28:40
Speaker
one When was the first time you ever heard of Juneteenth? I thought it was only a couple of years ago, same to be honest. Is that when it became a public holiday? Yeah. so you know Despite this being quite a big deal, even though if you were to ask probably any average person on the street, literally any question related to anything about this, they probably wouldn't. Well, maybe they would now, but a couple of years ago, they probably wouldn't know the answer, myself included. I even remember
00:29:14
Speaker
you know, how phones and calendars put flag day or whatever these kind of like different holidays, you know, religious, cultural, whatever on your I even remember seeing Juneteenth in the past and be like, Oh, I wonder what that is. And then just moving on with my life, because I guess I was not a curious person. I feel like I am now, but I was not in my younger years. so um So it it's probably not shocking, even though it should be that it wasn't until like 2020 or 2021 that this Juneteenth being a holiday that needs to be recognized in some fashion didn't really come into kind of like our discourse as a society. And a lot of people, like I said, were like, I don't know what Juneteenth is. So lots of education and there's been like lots of efforts by different advocacy groups.
00:30:04
Speaker
in trying to educate people about Juneteenth and get it acknowledged and recognize it and celebrate it and talk about history like that. um And it just didn't really go anywhere. Interestingly, the first state to actually make it a state holiday, which state do you think that was? Texas? Yeah. Great job. I just thought that was, and I mean, in in a way it's not surprising, but it's also kind of like, Okay. Okay, Texas. I guess you're trying maybe, but you're doing a really bad job, but this is you know a good thing, so good job. um But that was in 1980 and you know other states followed suit. My state that I'm currently in, I can't speak for the other states that I'm from or live around, didn't do it until
00:30:53
Speaker
2021. It became a national holiday in 2021 as well. It took my time then, didn't it? Jesus. yeah and I will say, I'll be mindful about exactly what I say for reasons, um but even in my own state and the the agency that I work under, There was an and effort to be like, oh, we got to acknowledge Juneteenth where, you know, this is important and how they basically rolled it out to us initially, which I want to say was in 2021.
00:31:28
Speaker
um really kind of like on its face was like, Oh my God, look, woke, woke place, woke state, woke city. Yeah. And then it was like, actually what we've done is we took your Christmas Eve floating holiday. We made it available to you early in the year. So you could choose to use it on Juneteenth, on Christmas Eve, or whatever you felt like it really those sneaky bastards. I know. And I remember when I got the email about that and was like, wow, I'm, I'm impressed. And then I was like, wait a sec. Fine print, fine print, fine print. And I was like, so you basically just took a floating holiday that we only got like the week before Christmas. Cause you know, it's like you work Christmas, you can choose to work Christmas Eve or use it. What wherever, uh, you basically just moved it. And, and also if I don't do that, I'm going to look really fucking racist.
00:32:22
Speaker
I guess I'm working Christmas Eve. Really hollow gesture and I wasn't the only one that noticed because then the next, I think after, and I think I actually had to work that Juneteenth too because it was like, we need to have some staff available for Christmas. reasons, uh, that next year it was, okay, it's actually going to be a holiday for everyone, and but it also aligned with the, with the federal holiday, which I get the benefit of getting federal holidays off. So it wasn't like they really had a choice. Well, I'm glad you do get it off now. Thanks. I mean, come on. Happy Independence Day. Happy Independence Day. I'll cheers you to that.
UK vs US Holidays
00:33:12
Speaker
And that is the nutshell and probably not all that comprehensive and slightly sarcastic because that's who I am as a person story of Juneteenth. Well done. Today, give my I and I think many listeners learned a lot.
00:33:33
Speaker
It also made me realize that we don't have any like holidays for decent things like that. We just like celebrate like. Bank holidays. Bank holidays. Yeah. And also. Bank holidays. That's it. Right. And we celebrate, you know, Guy Fawkes, who was a guy who tried and failed to blow up parliament. Which is kind of weird. and Very weird. Yeah. very strange indeed weren't you supposed to tell me about that one day yeah did i not i mean i know about it but i don't know if we actually had a full episode about it okay well can you remind me closer to um november hey series set reminder for remember remember the fifth of november that's that's this
00:34:27
Speaker
Siri actually heard me that time. Yeah, we can loop it in with ah St. Collins day. Yes. That's what we'll do. We'll tie them together. Well, that was really interesting. Thank you for sharing and teaching. um You're welcome. I am here to serve you are burgers. oh
00:34:53
Speaker
It's a bit worth eating so far for everyone.
00:34:58
Speaker
Well, that's going to make me cringe when I listen to that. Yeah. You might want to edit that one out. Also all of my excessive breathing that inevitably is going to be on this episode. That would be great if you could just minimize that. Cause I know I was like, and then I breathe really heavy when I get activated.
00:35:19
Speaker
Um, I want to tell you about something. Uh-oh. Are you breaking up with me? No. Okay. Not yet. Not yet. You'll know. You'll know when I do. um So do you remember way back when? I remember. um There was that viral thing going around with the dress. Is it blue and gold or is it white and or black and blue or whatever the fuck it was?
Viral Dress Photo Controversy
00:35:55
Speaker
What color is the dress? Yes.
00:35:56
Speaker
What color is the dress? Yes. So the man who posted that picture originally and broke the internet nine years ago, that was nine fucking years ago. Really? I thought it was longer than that. I could have swore I was in like law school and that went down. Was I in law school nine years ago? No, I wasn't. Okay. Well, I thought it was a couple of years ago, but that's how my life goes. No, I mean, I think nine years is probably right. I just felt like it was longer.
00:36:34
Speaker
so Yeah, sorry, I just sort of had a bit of a mind fart then and just stopped thinking for a second. It is like one in the morning there. It was peaceful. um So Kia Johnston is the guy, he's 38, and his wife Grace had everybody talking after the mother of the bride wore a dress that had the world divided to their wedding in 2015.
00:36:59
Speaker
Almost a decade after the internet continuously fought over whether the dressing question was black or blue or white and gold sorry black and blue or white and gold, Kia has now been sent to jail after admitting to trying to strangle his wife. You know, I think I maybe saw something briefly about that.
00:37:23
Speaker
So court documents obtained by people, like the magazine, not just people. Just people. Just some people. My neighbour Greg.
00:37:34
Speaker
um Confirmed Kia was indicted after pinning his wife on the ground and sitting astride her during an assault on March the 6th, 2022. Apparently he repeatedly placed his hands around Grace's neck restricting her breathing. And he also threatened to kill her and brandished a knife. So
00:37:54
Speaker
He's a bad man. What I think I thought I saw is that he actually did kill her, so I'm happy to hear she's not dead. Yeah, it doesn't actually say I'm on the post that I saw. Oh, so unclear. He's not. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I just thought that was crazy because who knew that someone who posted a lovely picture of a black or, black or blue or white and gold. It's white and gold. I'm saying that now. It's black and blue. No, it's definitely white and gold. So I saw both. Like I saw pictures where I saw both. Oh, really? Cause I think someone like tinkered with lighting or something like that.
00:38:35
Speaker
Yeah. So I saw both, but I remember like, I think the first picture I saw it was black and blue to me, which means that I have like an incredibly high IQ, I think. Oh, is that right? Yep. Ah, it's all coming together now. hu Crazy. You ready for an? am I just feel like we need to confirm whether or not this woman is dead. OK. Let's do that first.
00:39:07
Speaker
ah Just for the sake of our audience at home. So Grace Johnston.
00:39:15
Speaker
ah scan
00:39:19
Speaker
do do do do ah I think I think she lives. It appears she lives. It's from Glasgow as well. Yeah, I guess you know what? I don't it's I never thought too much about the person behind who posted this, you know, but I would have just assumed they were Americans. Yeah, I did. You Americans taking everything from us. I know. I'm sorry. It just seemed like a very American thing to do. Yeah, she's okay. She's okay. She's fine. She required no medical treatment despite the sustaining severe bruising from the attack.
00:40:00
Speaker
Okay, good, we got that cleared up. But yes, I think it just goes to show you just because someone goes viral on the internet, even goes on Ellen, which I think they did, does not mean they're good people. No, some would say that Ellen's not a good person. Correct, that is what some would say, and that is why she doesn't want to do that. Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly. Yep. Christ, I'm glad we cleared that up. Me too. And I am ready. You know I am, baby.
00:40:33
Speaker
Good link back. I enjoyed it.
Accent Experimentation and Breakup Dilemma
00:40:37
Speaker
Right. Why are you looking at me like that? I don't know. I was trying to think of an accent to do, but I've just realized I think I know that this guy's English because he says it. Well, just do a bloke then. All right. Like maybe one that's from Scouse. That's what I've been saying lately. I'm from Scouse. You're from Scouse? No. I played a video game that had lots of accents in it. There was a little boy who was very Scouser and I was like, I'm from Scouse. That's not even a Scouse accent. Well, you know I can't do accents. I'm from Scouse.
00:41:19
Speaker
I was going to say that sounded kind of Welsh. Anyway. All right. Sorry. Here we go. Am I the arsehole for leaving my girlfriend after she got a dog?
00:41:37
Speaker
Hello. Hello. Hello.
00:41:42
Speaker
I'm 25 male and my girlfriend is 23 female. We've been together for over, I don't know how how long I can keep this up, but I'm going to try. You're doing so good now.
00:41:54
Speaker
we We've been together for over a year and generally have a great relationship. She's funny and kind. However, yesterday when I got home, there was a golden retriever in our house.
00:42:15
Speaker
Okay. I'm good. Yeah. Cute puppy. Got it. When I asked my girlfriend whose dog it was, she smiled and said, ours.
00:42:28
Speaker
The man doing his girlfriend's access. Okay. Sorry. I'm really sorry. know
00:42:39
Speaker
I wasn't sure if she was joking or being serious, so I kept asking whose dog it was. She kept smiling, saying, ours. And then proceeded to say the dog's name. I don't really remember what she said. Her name was, since a lot was going on through my mind. She even told the dog to say, hi, dad.
00:43:04
Speaker
What is this remaining me of? Tell me when you're done, I'm sorry, go on. I told her that she couldn't be serious right now and she replied, why? With a big smile. I didn't say anything else and just left the house and went to a hotel. At the beginning of our relationship, I told her that I didn't ah don't like dogs and I can't be in the same room with one. Even when I see one in public I put a good distance between me and the person walking a dog and I told her if she ever wanted a pet she'd have to get a cat or something else that isn't a dog. While at the hotel my girlfriend called me a couple of times but I didn't answer.
00:43:49
Speaker
Then she texted me saying that I was overreacting and that my fear of dogs is ridiculous. She said I should at least give it a try and live with a dog for a while and that she and the dog would help me overcome my fear. But I never asked to overcome it and honestly it never bothered me as long as there were no dogs in the ass.
00:44:10
Speaker
I never got bothered by one in public because I always put a good distance between me and the dogs. I've never even petted a dog before and I never will.
00:44:34
Speaker
I ignored her messages and I went to sleep as I wanted to decide what to do when my head was clearer. I don't want to be the guy who says it's either me or the dog.
00:44:48
Speaker
She clearly likes dogs and I don't so I was thinking of just breaking up with her even though she's been amazing throughout the year. Am I the arsehole for wanting to break up with her over this? um Okay, so
00:45:05
Speaker
The accent that you did made this guy sound like such a fucking idiot. yeah the idea a good service that it i I loved it. It was so funny. I'm sorry. I couldn't contain myself when you're like meows. And it just it reminded me of someone I don't think anyone I know or we know personally, but like an actor. That and I just want to know where you channeling anyone or just like this one blog sound like well the ass bit
00:45:42
Speaker
was, reminded me, there's a comedian called Mickey Flanagan, who's very cockney. And he tells this joke about when I went to America, I met a nice girl and ah he walked her home. And he said, it got very lost in confusion because he said, can I come in your ass? And she's like, excuse me. She said, don't worry, I won't mess anything up. I'll be in and out before you know it. It me of that. and So I think I think it I detected a little bit of like not just kind of like the Cockney ish. And I think it's that actor. He's like an old guy and he's a moco guy. No, you're allowed to apply the bloody doors off. Kind of. But no, he was in the he was like the dad on the the show. The series like Gentlemen, The Gentlemen. Did you ever watch that? Yes. The recent one.
00:46:39
Speaker
yeah and so like The dad who's in jail, but his jail is really like a bougie mansion. Oh, um that actor. What's his fucking name? What is his name? a He sounds like a British gangster. kind of funny Ray Winston. It's a little bit of that, yeah which I really found appealing, um but also just like general male, like it just the vibe of the guy who's like, I don't like dogs, okay? And I shouldn't have to. Don't make me like dogs. Getting back on track though. What do you think? Is he an asshole?
00:47:19
Speaker
I very much want to say he's the asshole both because of the accent, and but also who doesn't like dogs? But I get it. Some people have fears of dogs. And I don't think that's fair to call him an asshole for that. I do think that I was probably assholey of his girlfriend to just unilaterally bring a dog home knowing that, knowing his stance on it without talking to him about it. I think she was probably doing one of those ask for forgiveness and instead of permission things, maybe a little bit of like exposure therapy, maybe you just need to give it a chance and it'll be fine, which I think people want to do all the time, right? like um and You hear those stories all the time of like the dad in the family saying they don't want a dog and then they get a dog and then they love the dog and it's their best friend. Yeah, the dog is like their favorite. Clearly, that's what she was hoping for. um I think that he doesn't want to admit he actually is really scared of dogs too.
00:48:19
Speaker
I think he wanted to just be like, I just don't like him. I run away from them when I see them and I will never touch one ever. Will never pet a dog. Yeah, so.
00:48:31
Speaker
I can like accept that this is, you know, whether or not he sounds like how you read it or not. And the fact that dogs are really fun and golden retrievers are like super nice. um It's really hard for me to say this person's an asshole, but just as an animal lover, like give it a go, man. Tricky, isn't it? Yeah. What are your thoughts? Yeah, I think. especially because she knew that he's scared of dogs like you can't just spring a dog on him and it is something you should probably discuss as a couple even if he wasn't yeah just like um so i think like yeah she like overstepped a boundary but the other side of my brain is if you don't like dogs i don't fucking trust you so yeah you know
00:49:20
Speaker
Yeah. I did like that he said, you know, she's been really great for the year we've been together. Okay. So you guys are living, and no shame at people. Sometimes you can't fight that love and feeling, you know, you know, all of that. But like, it makes me wonder if you guys really know each other that well, if you are living together. They're quite young. They're only twenties. What did you say? 25 male, 23 female. Meows. Anyway. So the general consensus is that he's not an asshole.
00:49:52
Speaker
um The top comment was... No, it's not the top comment. It's the one at the top here. So it's not an asshole, but you're definitely not a match. Keep walking, find another strange person like yourself, one that won't abuse your boundaries. So then, you know, A strange person is in, like, you don't like dogs and that's weird. Yeah, basically. Someone said, why the fuck is he strange? And they replied, it's a rather irrational fear. Never interacted with a dog and somehow terrified of them. It's kind of funny in a way. Fair. But she should have respected him enough to discuss before buying a dog. Yeah, I agree.
00:50:36
Speaker
um I've never drowned, but I am a little bit scared of drowning. I will just say. Exactly. Yeah.
00:50:48
Speaker
There was a really funny one. This person put, lol, you went to a hotel room over a puppy. So dramatic. You're the asshole.
00:51:01
Speaker
also fair but that just tells that just reinforces that i think he's actually really so really terrified of dogs but being a 25 year old bloke isn't gonna be like literally pissed my and shit my pants when i saw this dog because i'm so scared of dogs yeah i just got him fucking betrayed allow me come on um someone else said probably a good thing that she can find a real man now
00:51:28
Speaker
Ooh, dog Reddit. Dog Reddit came out. oh Yeah, right. Honestly, people are... Dog people are mental and this thread confirms it. We've talked about this, I think, a little bit where how it's like dog people are, as you just said, if you don't like dogs, I don't trust you. My dog is great. I love my dog. My dog was everywhere and cat people are like, look at my trash cat.
00:51:54
Speaker
ah Someone else just said you're an asshole. to the OP or? Yeah, to the OP. Okay. Well, yeah, fair. You're both assholes from the sound of it, but you're personally exceptionally pathetic. I mean, a fucking dog is going to make you break up with your wonderful girlfriend. She was probably tired of your whiny shit about them. And he's trying to overcome your irrational fears, for fuck's sake. Don't be such a crying little bitch. Puppy's a man's best friend.
00:52:29
Speaker
I almost wish that you had done accents for each comment too based on their vibe because that would have been you so whatever you just did with that one. I was like, oh man, you cry a little bitch. um Yeah I mean they're the controversial comments I just thought they were really funny so I decided to read them. um But yeah everyone else is basically saying like not the asshole if you didn't have the fear of dogs. She had no right to make such a large decision for your household with you without even talking about it. This adds a huge layer of responsibility to you both.
00:53:08
Speaker
And since she knew it was a hard limit for you and did it anyway, I don't see why she, I don't see where she found the audacity. You're not yeah making her choose between you and the dog. You're asking her to respect your long established boundary and fix the mistakes she made. I mean, in reality, I think, excuse me, sorry. She made the choice of the dog over him when she brought home the dog. Yeah. you know, exactly even if she didn't realize that that's kind of what she did. So. And like going back to your point, it's like having a fear of water and her pushing him into the water.
00:53:49
Speaker
Yeah. I think people do it. I think it works out well for them in terms of like bringing home a pet and the person who's kind of the naysayer. I can think of a couple of examples where this happened, you know, but it is like you you, you really have to understand that like there is a risk. It won't work out like that. And then I want you to send the dog back, which is going to make you sad too. And I'm going to put it out there. If anyone wants to bring me home a dog, I'm fine with that. Me too. In fact, I'm offended that I have not been warned. Why isn't someone bringing me a dog every day? Yeah. There's also an update on this one. Do you want to hear it? Yes, I do. Are you going to do an accent again? Yeah. Yay. All right. First of all, I want to thank everyone for their feedback and support and special thanks to user code underscore name underscore ducky.
00:54:45
Speaker
I don't know if I should say that one here, but I am. um After reading many comments from both perspectives, people who were saying I'm not the arsehole or the ones who were saying you are the arsehole, I went to see my girlfriend and we talked for a bit. I told her what she did was wrong but she insisted that I was overreacting and she wasn't ready to apologise. After talking a bit more I told her I wanted to break up with her. At first she didn't believe me and thought I was trying to hurt her or get revenge on her. Then she started crying and then she got angry and tried to hit me. I held her until she calmed down.
00:55:20
Speaker
After a while, we talked again and she said, what am I supposed to do? She mentioned that but she can't take care of the dog by herself, so I offered to help her find a new place for the dog. I also offered that if she didn't want to move out, she could stay at my place and I would find a new place for myself. Additionally, I told her that I would cover her rent for this month. Nice guy. I feel bad for doing the accent now.
00:55:49
Speaker
um
00:55:52
Speaker
I know I didn't have to do any of these things but I just couldn't leave her like that and I don't want to see her suffer or have a hard time. She said thanks for the offer and said she would think about it. I could tell that she was still in shock so I didn't really know what to say to her and I didn't want her to feel worse so I decided to give her some space. For the past couple of days I've been staying at my friend's house and I had him bring some of us i himt bring i had him bring some of my stuff until my ex-girlfriend decides if she wants to stay there or find a new place for herself. I decided to give her a couple of days to decide. The day after I broke up with her my friend and I tried to find a new place for the dog as she couldn't take care of her.
00:56:33
Speaker
She's told me she took the dog to one of her friend's houses. A friend couldn't help her with finding a permanent place for the dog. Honestly, none of this is good for my mental health and I've taken a week off workers to solve everything. I can't just leave the dog on the street and I'm pretty sure it's illegal to do that in the yeah UK. Anyway, we had no luck and I couldn't find a place for the dog so we decided to try again tomorrow. After me and my friend went back to his home, my ex called me. She called to us for one more chance and she apologized. I said I forgive you. What's done is done. But I think it's better if we go our separate ways. She wasn't happy with it. I'll just get this conversation on here because she was just cursing and saying that I will never find anyone like her and that I will die single etc. but the shabola mate Chill woman.
00:57:25
Speaker
A day later, which was yesterday, at the time I'm making this update, my friend called me to say he'd got some good news. He'd found someone to take the dog. And we are still waiting for that person to take her. On the same day around 11.30pm to 12am my ex started calling me again and it was quite late and I decided to wait for her to leave a message to see what she wanted but she kept calling. So I finally picked up and when she and she asked me to forgive her again. I told her that I already have but we're simply not compatible and I told her you're young, beautiful and you'll find someone else but she got even more pissed and that's basically it for now.
00:58:01
Speaker
I didn't expect the original post to go viral when I was expecting maybe 30 comments and hoping for a small manageable amount of feedback.
00:58:10
Speaker
Just a simple game. Because of this, I didn't provide too many details in the initial post, thinking that I could answer the questions as they came up. So this time I tried to give as many details as I'm comfortable with. And he basically goes on to say, if you still have questions, then prove please feel free to ask and i I'll try to answer them, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:58:32
Speaker
So yeah, following on from that update, everyone's saying, man, you dodged a bullet because she sounds like a fucking narcissist and an
Resolution and Reflections
00:58:39
Speaker
abuser. And the actually the dog did a really good thing for you because it made you see her true colors. And it also got a good home out of it. So. Hopefully. Once again, dog saves the day. Dog Reddit wins. Dog Reddit wins the asshole. That doesn't sound right. No, but I am like what I said earlier about like her choosing the dog over him by bringing it home and kind of running the risk that he would react the way he did. Yet not thinking that if he is super unhappy about this and refuses, I can't take care of this dog on my own.
00:59:19
Speaker
Yeah, you should have considered that. I mean, she's 23, her brain's not developed yet. That's it. Very instant gratification based, I think. yeah Yeah, she's definitely the asshole now with that update, I think. Do you know what I was thinking was that he's 25 and he's got his own place and that makes me really sad for my life. why because i don't own a house and i live with someone he's living with a friend right now because he let his girlfriend have the place true so but yeah sorry for giving you that um well no i'm not sorry if for giving you that i'm sorry for making you sound stupid because i'm not saying that
01:00:03
Speaker
anyone with a Cockney accent is stupid, obviously. But keep going. Just keep going. Dig it. no not Dig that hole. I'm not digging climbing out of that hole. You did a character. It's fine. And it was perfect and beautiful. And I loved it. And that's all that matters. Great. But I have one question for you. Okay. If it were a cat instead of a dog. Do you think people would have reacted so strongly?
01:00:33
Speaker
Because I don't think so. You make a very good point. I don't think they would. also like why didn't Why wouldn't you just take the dog back where it came from? Yeah. Because if it came from some sort of shelter, my guess is they would take the dog back. Yeah, that's always the cause. If it came from like a breeder or to someone who had puppies, like you're probably not going to get your money back, but I bet they'd take the dog back and try to sell it again. Yeah, exactly. Maybe they didn't want to because maybe it came from really shitty yeah maybe home environment. Maybe she found it in a dumpster.
01:01:13
Speaker
Yeah, maybe I wish I could find a puppy in a dumpster. Me too. Best day ever. I don't wish that, but I would be very excited if I did. Yeah. Rell. Rell? That's not a word. ra I went to say well and really at the same time and I yeah i made a new one. Rell. I like it. Rell. Rell Gemma. Rell then. Shall we fuck off? Yeah. That's great. Okay. Thanks for listening. Goodbye. Thanks. That's it. Bye.
01:01:47
Speaker
No, no, no, no. Let's do it properly. Everyone's going to be turned off now because we said goodbye. We're still talking and everyone's like, oh, they're done. Put in the end music too and then just have this. It'll be a little easter egg at the end. oh like Okay, I'll do that. If you like this episode or other episodes, Like us, rate us, subscribe us, subscribe to us, review all of that on all any of the podcast platforms that you listen to. Um, we like it, makes us feel good. It gets us out to other listeners and clearly we're doing, you know, God's work here with art. Am I the assholes?
01:02:30
Speaker
But, uh, you can find us on T at T S Y V pod on various social media platforms because we're cool and young. And even though we're. of the millennial generation were much more closely aligned with what is cool and hip today. And then if you want to tell us about how cool and hip you think we are, you can email us at talkshed to us at gmail dot.com. Oh yeah, baby. We look forward to receiving your correspondence.
01:02:59
Speaker
And should you find yourself in need of any advice or solicitation for help? Posthaste. Write to us. Ta-ta. Cheerio. Bye. Ta-ta. Toodle-poo. Have a good rest of the week, G. Angie, speak to you soon.