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53. Larry the Cat's New Dad
59 Plays1 year ago
This week we're talking the UK election results, out of touch rich people, mildly annoying things that really infuriate you and of course, an AITA.
Send in your mildly annoying things that infuriate you to TalkShitToUs@gmail.com or DM us @TSYBPOD
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Transcript
Introduction and Episode Confusion
00:00:12
Speaker
Why hello there and welcome back to Talking Shit with a Yangon of Red episode 53. What what? Is it 53? Yeah. Are we sure? No. Did I put 51 on her Instagram story and it was 52? Shit. I also said election day was the second Tuesday of November and I'm so stupid. It's the first Tuesday. Such a fucking big error. I'm a nincompoop. Yeah, you are. God damn. How could you get the date so wrong? I don't know. Cause I have an IQ of like six.
00:00:47
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that makes sense. So I'm surprised I'm still alive, to be honest. How have you made it this far? Don't know.
Theatre Experiences and Musicals
00:00:57
Speaker
Anyway. anyway Hi. Hi. How are you doing? I'm good. I am good. Fine. I'm fine. Grant? Nope, we discussed this last time. I'm never those things.
00:01:14
Speaker
Just a very mediocre fine. Yeah. That's fine. What have you been up to? um I've been doing some things. And stuff. And stuff. And, you know, bits. Tell me. I forgot to tell you this the other week, actually, but I went to the theatre in London to see a musical. Fancy. Which one? It was called Standing at the Sky's Edge. It sounds serious.
00:01:45
Speaker
Well, yeah, it's relatively new and it's had like rave reviews. I'd never heard of it. My mum just booked tickets for a few of us to go. And oh my God, it was so good. Next Hamilton? It's really different. it was It's a really modern okay musical and it's It's described as a love story to Sheffield, which is like... Fucking Sheffield. ...town slash city. I'm not sure. Sorry for anyone in Sheffield. um And it's like this really clever story of...
00:02:25
Speaker
I don't want to give it away too much, but it's like sort of three different generations and it kind of all intertwines, but the music was amazing. The story was really clever and actually made me cry at one point, which a musical was never done. Like it was wow so good. And I highly, highly recommend that people go and see it. I've even been listening to the soundtrack since cause I'm like, Oh, I just really want to hear that song again. and Okay. What's it called again? Standing at the sky's edge. It's probably not in America. I doubt it. No. We don't have anything good here. Yes, you do. No, we don't. get All the good
Judging a School Battle of the Bands
00:03:03
Speaker
ones. No, we don't. Yes, you do. You've got Little Mermaid way before what you did. Little Mermaid the musical? Yeah. There's a musical? Yeah. How? She's a fish.
00:03:21
Speaker
Yeah, well, they do clever things, I think. Well, she just wears a nice big tail and just crawls along the floor. Just slithers along like a calf in the park fish. That sounds like a horror movie.
00:03:39
Speaker
All right, we each have good things sometimes before the other. Yeah, ah exactly. um so That was really good. I also this week was a judge for a battle of the bands. o It's pretty good. It was just like in a school, so it was like loads of young little bands, but we had to like give them feedback as if we were like on X Factor. Yeah. So were you nice? Were you mean? Were you middle of the road? Yeah. I mean, I was Simon Cowell. I told them all that they were shit and they would never be famous and they were too fat to do anything.
00:04:19
Speaker
No, I didn't really.
UK General Election and Women's Voting Rights
00:04:20
Speaker
It was quite nice. Good. I just think you know it children need to not be told they can should follow their dreams and they can do everything they want. No, they should be told the opposite. Give them a bit of fighting spirit. yeah I mean, you get a whole generation like us, if you tell kids to follow their dreams and we don't need that again. If you give people too high expectations, then they're only going to be disappointed. I mean think we have like should should have started a podcast. Exactly. Were they good? Were they impressive or what? Yeah. They were pretty. like Some of them were like super young.
00:05:01
Speaker
Like babies? Just a random baby holding a guitar. Like a full-sized adult guitar even. They're just in a baby. One of the parents holding the... for Cute. That's the cutest thing I've ever thought of. I might have kids just to do that. Yep. yeah Just have a band. Baby band. And then get rid. yeah did Did so did someone win? Yeah, band win yeah and that's it. we had to We all like marked it. We had categories, we marked out of whatever it was and then added it all up at the end. And then we didn't realize at the end that we also were meant to be making note and picking like the best vocalist, best guitarist, best bassist, best drummer, best other.
00:05:52
Speaker
Oh, sounds like they did a really
British Politics and Monarchy Traditions
00:05:54
Speaker
good job prepping you guys. Yeah. We didn't know that and then we were like, oh, that that one was really good, but what band were they in? I don't know. It was good. It was good fun. Got a free bottle of wine out of it. Nice. Met some lovely people. Yeah, it was fun. Are you allowed to give a plug for the winning band?
00:06:14
Speaker
I'm sure I'm allowed, but whether I can remember their name or not is another question. Well, maybe next time. Sorry, the dog just barked. Yeah, I did. Hey. Someone's just walked in the front door. Oh no, it's a prowler. Oh gosh, someone's break again. i and This is where I watched Gemma get murdered. You see someone come through that door. You will know because my face will be horrified and I'll be like, Gemma, look out behind you. I'll see as well, to be fair. my a's true and right um Oh, and then who I also on Thursday went to place my vote in the general election for our new government. Excellent. why Oh, sorry, go ahead. Sorry, I was just um rambling saying I exercised my right to vote as a woman because women died to get me the vote. so
00:07:11
Speaker
Did they? Yeah. Do we know who? Suffragettes. I didn't know they died. ah um but Wasn't the mom from Mary Poppins a suffragette? She was, yeah. Fuck, I just pulled that right out of the nether regions of my brain.
00:07:29
Speaker
um Emily Wilding Davison. She died. She was an English suffragette who fought for votes um for women in Britain in the early 20th century, and she ran in front of a horse at some horse race. Okay, so her she died unrelated. Oh, no, it was related to voting. Okay. She was she was protesting. Okay. So
Shift to Labour Government in UK
00:07:51
Speaker
did she intentionally like do that or? Yeah. I mean, there are varying opinions, but some people claim that she was trying to stop King George's horse and attach it and to some suffragette flags that she had with her.
00:08:09
Speaker
Oh, okay. So just some reckless behavior that resulted in her death and her effort to get women the right to vote. Okay. Yeah. So that one's for you, Emily. Thanks. I was going to ask why, cause you could ask the same thing of us, but why on a Thursday in July, was it just like, this is the day we're going to do it or do you guys do it the same day every election? Yeah, well, I'm guessing a Thursday's a good day. I think old Rishi, who we've kicked out now, ho um I think he just decided the day, but I think they usually do it on a Thursday, I would say probably because parliament don't like to work on the weekends. And obviously we all vote on the Thursday and then they count it throughout the night and the results come in on Friday.
00:09:00
Speaker
And then people who lose are like, cool, three day weekend. yeah woo Okay. Couple more questions. Cause maybe that's why we do it on Tuesday because everyone's like, well, if we want to take Monday off. Um, and then also do they start right away or is it like starting January one or like the first of event month? Cause ours is like in November and then January is when they take office. Yeah. Yeah. It's quite a long gap, isn't it? Well, it's just, I think, to you know, January ones that started the new year. Yeah. So the result came in. Um, usually what happens if they're nice, the prime minister steps down. Yeah. Like hands in their resignation. I think they do that to the king.
00:09:46
Speaker
Oh yeah, Nigel said Rishi had to march down to Buckingham to hand it. And I was like, did he literally have to march? And then what, did people just throw shit at him as he did it? or He's just getting tomatoes and plums throwing it at him. you yeah um And then the new prime minister has to also go to meet the king and get permission to form a new government. This would be me if I were the prime minister, just going, hi. It was like a ghost or something. I was like, what are you doing? Just waving at the person behind you. no big deal No, that's me with the king. you So, okay. You have to get permission because this is the symbolism of making it seem like the king is still in charge. Yeah. yeah Has there ever been a time when a king or queen... Yeah, exactly. But has there ever been a time when they're like, no.
00:10:39
Speaker
No, there were like rumours that the Queen really didn't want to give permission to Boris Johnson because he's just an absolute buffoon. He's a twat, yeah. um But she still did. No, I like that about her. makes me
US Political System and Election Process
00:10:54
Speaker
That's cool. But she's kind of like, I mean, I don't really have a reason to. No, I don't really have a choice. so Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. So once he's got permission, he's effectively prime minister, but obviously the old prime minister has to move out of number 10 Downing Street and let the new one move in, which I'm assuming that takes, I don't know, a few days a week? I don't know, actually. I'm making this up. They hire people to do it in a matter of hours, I bet. Yeah. So now it's just Larry the cat living there. Aw, I love him. He's a cutie. Okay, I have more questions though. No. Okay. Go on. Has any of the
00:11:41
Speaker
exiting PMs ever fucked with the house for the incoming, didn't flush the toilet, put some rotting food somewhere, because I would also do that. Just chuck a little fish in the oven. I would put a paint can above the door, like home alone style.
00:12:04
Speaker
um i you know there's There's no sources to tell me whether that happens or not, but I'm pretty sure it does. Just a picture of them when they open a cupboard going middle fingers up. in the bird yeah yeahp So how do you feel about the election results? I am very pleased. okay It's been 14 years of conservative government um and they have
00:12:37
Speaker
shat on this country in every way possible. They're all about austerity. I mean, Rishi Sunak, our old prime minister, is richer than the royal family. Oh, damn. hot damn His wife is like a fucking billion billionaire. Oh, it's not even her his money, it's hers. No, but I mean, he's pretty rich anyway. I think he comes from quite well to do people. um And so he's just, he's never had a fucking job in his life. He's so... And then he just became prime minister. Man, that is the epitome of failing upwards if I've ever heard it. But that's the case with so many conservative politicians because they come from rich families, they go to Eaton or Oxford, study politics, and then they become MPs and work their way up.
00:13:25
Speaker
Pivot real quick. I like that a prestigious school like Eaton has a fucking dessert called Eaton Mess. I know. Because it is a fucking Eaton Mess. Yeah. Anyway, so, okay. So, yeah, I'm really happy because the NHS is fucked. um Housing is fucked. Public services are fucked. Because they've gradually just taken... Eroded them. Yeah. and pulled their funding and it's just falling apart. And it's finally got to the point where people are like, fuck this, we need change. And I'm fucking here
Climate Change and Government Responsibilities
00:14:06
Speaker
for it. You know, I was talking to Nigel a little bit about this and was like, for the people who continue to vote conservative, right? And complain about
00:14:23
Speaker
the state of the country and like all the things that are wrong with it yet continue to vote the party that arguably has some responsibility over why. That confuses me a little bit and it it makes me... i mean it in It's very American. like we It's the same way people vote here and and kind of have the values. like They don't think about how... you know It's like, i'm just I'm just Republican or I'm just Democrat or whatever, no matter what, even if the thing that I'm supporting really is maybe the reason of what I perceive or perceive as problems in my country. yeah And I did know when I was watching the election results, because it was the 4th of July here, so I had the day off. And so I waited until evening time to check and saw that it was like a landslide for labor, but there was still some, like that one fair, what is his name? Fairage, like, he somehow managed to win. But, um,
00:15:20
Speaker
the ... Fuck, I forgot what I was going to say. Oh, that, yes, it's been the last 14 years, but also the amount of loss in the like number of seeds they actually have now, it hasn't been like that since like the 1800s. No. This is like history in the making. Yeah. That's a pretty clear signal, I think, to the government from the population of England about like fuck and fix it, so I hope they do. What do you think about your new PM? I really like him. How do you say his name, Keir? Keir Starmer. So I didn't really know much about him, and he's... Because he didn't go to England or Oxford, actually, I think he had a year in Oxford, but he got a scholarship.
00:16:15
Speaker
Ah, so he's not of the ilk that we've seen with politicians. That's nice. He comes from a working class family. nice His dad was a tool maker. His mum was a nurse in the NHS. um he She got very ill and was terminally ill when he was young. And so he had to care for her. And I heard this story as well, that she loved donkeys. but couldn't leave the house because she was so ill. So they rescued two donkeys and put them in the back garden where her window looked out so that she could sit and see the donkeys. It was just a lovely little thing. yeah um He obviously, he went to Oxford for a year but on a scholarship and he said openly that he didn't hang out with all the Forestism Rishis because he was just,
00:17:07
Speaker
They're like, we're going to go in our yacht. Do you want to come yacht racing with us, Keir? He's like, I will ride my bicycle. But no, he said he had one year to use the library there, which is like one of the most incredible libraries in England. And so he just sat in the library and read as many books as he could. I mean, this is the Oxford that I believe invented the Oxford commas that no one gives a fuck about anymore. Yeah. And you know, the Oxford dictionary. Yeah. um And he also, his career before he became a politician, he is a human rights lawyer by trade. Love that. That's sexy. Is great. Like, who what better person, especially like,
00:17:58
Speaker
after Brexit and all this horrible racism that's been happening and like they've already scrapped the Rwanda plan. I don't know if you knew about that, where they're just going to shit people off to Rwanda. um And I watched his speech yesterday. And like people are like, oh, you know, he's not really got any charisma and he's, you know, he's not care but I thought his speech was heartfelt and it was, it was like a normal person. Yeah. Like genuinely talking to you and.
00:18:37
Speaker
like from a place of actually caring. like he's He's passionate about actually making change and making people's lives better. And I think that really came across to me
Absurdity of Rich People's Comments
00:18:48
Speaker
anyway. I don't know what other people thought. And I don't give a shit that he's not a trained debater and media trained. Well, he is because he was a lawyer. so right Yeah, but he, you know, people are always not very media trained and he's not very good, you know, up against other politicians. We don't know that, really. I mean, he maybe it just doesn't matter. Yeah. I mean, he wasn't great in the debates because you know what they like. They like, like the conservatives were like, oh, you're going to tax people an extra £2,000 a month or whatever it was. And I think because he hadn't had that kind of media training,
00:19:27
Speaker
He didn't address it until 20 minutes into the debate. So a normal politician... Goes for the soundbaits, right? like Yeah, like, no, we're not going to do that. And he was just sticking to sort of his script. And it wasn't until further down the line where people probably would have switched off that he actually addressed the lies that Rishi was throwing at him. But yeah, i I think it could be a really good thing. I really liked what he what he said, what he stands for and the stories I've heard about him, he seems like a top notch guy. I guess when I think about like characteristics of ah a leader, charisma sure is great, but that's not like my number one, you know? Compassionate, um you know, accountable, transparent.
00:20:18
Speaker
Yeah, but like charisma to me is kind of like, I mean, it's like oh you know ah so the celebrity becoming president sort of situation. Exactly. And I think caring about the country is really important and that's, you know, we talked a little bit I think off air last time just about how Scary and uncertain things are over here right now, but one thing I can say about the candidates we have at this point is one's a really old man, one's a really old man who's a convicted felon sex offender, con artist, criminal, who is really problematic. One really cares about his country, even if he's um and done some things in the past. yeah you know so it's just like
00:21:01
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I don't, I don't like either of our choices, but I at least like, no one cares about America. Yeah. so Yeah. You guys are in a really tough spot. Are there not other parties? Is it literally the Democrats? Well, we have, we have third parties, but I think they never get enough traction or people to vote for them that they get anywhere. And so what ends up happening is the people who vote for the third party ends up, in effect, giving the vote to the candidate that they wouldn't choose because really most people vote for Republican or Democrat. We do have Robert Kennedy who's the third party. I've heard that he's pretty good.
00:21:51
Speaker
ah no Do a little research, we'll talk about it next time.
00:21:58
Speaker
I'm not going to comment today, but I won't be voting for him won't be voting for him either. all right I don't know, I don't know what, I mean, I know what I'm going to do, but at this point it's kind of like denial, but maybe something will happen and it won't be such a fuck. Won't be a fuck. What would happen if Biden died? Like before the election, then the vice president becomes president and I suppose would then become the incumbent. But I guess I don't actually know for sure if that's true. I don't know if the rules were if like the incumbent dies that we have to start all over again and pick a new candidate or if it just automatically transfers to Harris. All right. Do you guys pick the leader of the party, I guess, or is that within the party?
00:22:51
Speaker
I think what you're asking me is how do we get candidates who end up running for president? Yeah. so yeah like There's primaries where it's all within the party, so like well before the election when we're still trying to decide who to put up for you know the the primaries for the Democrats or the primaries for the Republicans. They have all the people within who want the bid. They have their own debates, and then there's kind of elections for those things too. so like since Biden was the president or is the president, there's very there's only like two circumstances I think where the and president wasn't the choice for the party that he was in during the election. so It was just kind of a given that he was going to be, unless he can't because they get two terms. right um and so It was the Republicans who were looking for the nom and that's where we had like
00:23:44
Speaker
Trump running and I can't think of who else now. um Nikki Haley, ah just a bunch of Republican people who were trying to become president and then ultimately like the country or the delegates for the Republican National Convention put Trump up again. So right so in a way we do. um But I do think it comes down to like delegates um who are supposed to like vote for the um can the jurisdiction that they represent, I think. right yeah um And that's same with like the confusing nature of the popular vote and the electoral vote when it comes to the election.
Pet Peeves and Daily Annoyances
00:24:23
Speaker
don't I still can't fully wrap my head around it, even though I've
00:24:26
Speaker
studied this somewhat and lived here forever and voted, but it's just like a really, kind it's a ridiculous system. It's like, you can win the popular vote, which means you got the most votes in the country, but then we have the electoral votes, which then people go and vote and you, anyway, anyway. Like, so I found out, cause we have a, I've mentioned it last time, I think the first pass the post. So each, I guess jurisdiction that we have, all around the country. They have their local MP representative for each party. And so I wasn't voting for Kia Stama, I was voting for my local MP.
00:25:10
Speaker
ah And it's whoever wins in that jurisdiction gets a seat in parliament and it's the party with the most seats and first pass the post, I think it's like 329 seats is the majority. And so they win. And we're one of the only countries in Europe to still use this system. The only other two countries are Russia and Belarus. Oh, good company there. um And there has been talk for years that we need to get rid of it because
00:25:45
Speaker
I don't see why we it should just be done on how many votes the parties receive. That makes so much more fucking sense. yeah yeah It's weird. um In this instance, it ended up giving the Labour Party a huge amount. yeah and We were talking about this yesterday, actually, and we said, I wonder if they still would have won. had it not been first past the post? I mean, you would think so. You'd hope so. But that's that's the curious thing about, I think, the different ways of voting people in. We've had
00:26:23
Speaker
I couldn't tell you all that I wasn't a poli sci major, and my ah own kind of knowledge about this sort of thing is recent, because I had blinders about anything political for a lot of my life. um But i have a i for people who listen at home that I know, I'm sure they're probably like, God, Kate's a fucking idiot. I had no idea this whole time. Anyway, there's a lot of different ways you can elect people, but then it's like, there's one way where it's like, if parties don't receive a certain amount, then it's a runoff and then we have to vote for them again. And it's like, we who got the most votes? It doesn't matter. For fuck's sake. If people don't want to vote, then that's fine, I guess. But if only 25% of people voted in a certain jurisdiction and someone still got the majority of those votes, that should be enough. That should be the winner, yeah. Yeah. Stupid.
Weather and Climate Change Impacts
00:27:20
Speaker
Yeah. Well, so coincidentally, it was the 4th of July on your election day, as we discussed last time, and it was a shit day anyway. I mean, normally we would have at least probably but hung out outside and laid sticks and cups and grilled, but it was a really terrible day.
00:27:36
Speaker
um and weather-wise. And I chose to basically hang out in my basement and play video games because I also didn't really feel like celebrating America's birthday. I don't even think this should be Independence Day, like I said, on our Juneteenth episode, but I also just didn't think there was a lot for me to celebrate. I also really don't care about fireworks that much, so. No. Again, I think we've spoken about this. I just, my dog doesn't like them, so I just get Fucking annoyed with fireworks now. Yeah. And you guys love a firework on 4th of July. They are, can be, I mean, one day is fine, but people, particularly where I grew up, there was like a two week period where you could start and like have to have them done by and people really maximized that. Oh God.
00:28:23
Speaker
I feel like you've seen one display. You've seen them all. yeah You know? Like I've just seen it. But it's also about the ones that just make noise and like the ones that injure people. That's one of my complaints is people are stupid about them and they get hurt. Like someone died. I'm sure a lot of people died, but I saw me early on on the 4th that like a little boy died from fireworks and you know they litter. um I mean, they're just essentially bombs, aren't they? so Waste of money, yeah. Yeah, it's quite mental. But there's also, you can get silent fireworks now, so use them.
00:29:08
Speaker
Yeah, Chipps was, it was his first fourth with us anyway, and he kind of was just like,
00:29:17
Speaker
What's that? And he wasn't super scared, but then i there's ah I have a picture of him sitting in his little perch looking out the window and I caught it right at the time there were fireworks. And I was like, oh, he likes them. He's like, a oh, pretty lights. Yeah, pretty much. Cool. So you spent 4th of July gaming away, hiding in the basement. Yep. And that's it. Sounds like a good day off. I mean, and I also worked on Friday. Nigel didn't, so it didn't really feel like a day off because it was just like a random day, like do nothing in the middle of the week sort of situation. Um, but yeah, now we hear we are on Saturday. It's for right now for nice out. So maybe I'll be able to get outside and enjoy the day. dear micche We've got some fucking weird weather at the moment. It's it's currently sunny blue skies, but I guarantee you in five minutes, it will be pissing it down with rain.
00:30:13
Speaker
It's pretty shit. And actually my computer says earlier that we are, the temperature is ah record lows for this time of year. So that's cool.
Podcast Improvisation Techniques
00:30:25
Speaker
Welcome to England. Yeah, we got a fuck ton of rain for the, for, I mean, in some ways the rain is kind of normal because we've had several dry years and drought years. And so having a bunch of rain after that is normal, but the sheer amount of rain that we've had has resulted in some really bad flooding back in my hometown in Minnesota. It's horrible. It's horrifying. We're not prepared for it. We got to do better about preparing for this, particularly with climate change and seeing kind of more natural disasters like this. There's a theme park not too far from me, um Valley Fair underwater. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. or We need to also address the fucking cause, don't we? Yeah. Which is one thing I'm hoping the new government will do.
00:31:12
Speaker
because all the old politicians are in the pockets of the big oil companies so they don't want to stop them drilling for oil and burning fossil fuels whereas I'm hoping the new Labour government will have a hopefully a different perspective on it. Well considering like the majority of Europe has been leaning very far right and the fact that the UK took a different route is interesting and also like, um like I'm really glad obviously, but it's like, is he gonna like, they're gonna be the only, you guys are gonna be the only ones doing like anything to like, for climate change and stuff. And it's just gonna be met with a lot of resistance. And I'll be curious to see what happens if he who shall not be named wins what that relationship was like. Yeah, that would be interesting. I'd like to see you be a fly on the wall there.
Mildly Inconvenient Frustrations
00:32:03
Speaker
I just think guys like,
00:32:06
Speaker
Do you not realise if we don't do anything, there might not... be humans in 50 years or people don't care. We're going to be very fucked. Yeah. Well, and there will be mass immigration and there will be nothing to stop it because so millions and billions of people are going to be displaced because their fucking country is going to be underwater. So I guess if they don't care about their children and grandchildren, yeah then yeah, carry on. And I think people don't.
00:32:42
Speaker
Clearly not. No. well On that joyous note. Pivot. um that Pivot. Pivot. Okay. Well, you were talking about rich people, like Rishi and never having a job. and I thought that was kind of an interesting segue into an article I found about ah comments, out of touch comments, rich people have said. oh myck i really um
00:33:14
Speaker
it's from buzzfeed and it's You know, there are two types of rich people, the grounded wealthy people who go about life quietly and the flamboyantly rich who make their affluence known to everyone. So, Redditor youmonthicy1 asked, what's the most out of touch thing you heard from rich people? The first one is, a coworker asked me, what bank I use for my safety deposit box. I told her I didn't have a safety deposit box. And she responded, but where do you keep your jewels then?
00:33:45
Speaker
All
Ethics of a Reddit AITA Post
00:33:46
Speaker
your riches and jewels in the heart of the sea from the Titanic, I have that jewel. Where do you keep your pearls? If someone said that to me, I'd be like, you know what? I buried them. Yes. There's only one person that has access to the map.
00:34:06
Speaker
This one is, this one it I think, yes. I know there's a lot of reasons to have safety deposit boxes. I don't have one. But you know if someone had said, oh, that's where I store my passport or like things that if my house burns down, I don't want to lose. Oh, that's a good idea. I probably should get one sentimental stuff. Where do you keep your jewels and bars of gold? It's ridiculous.
00:34:34
Speaker
um OK, this one I've made jokes about, so I thought it was kind of funny. But it's not. I was told my degree was worthless because it was from a public university and they don't teach stuff over there.
00:34:50
Speaker
No, we don't learn anything. Only go to Oxford and Eaton and Harvard and Princeton. Yeah, they're the only good ones. Excuse me, oh I need a little sip of water. Oh, you have a little sipple. You have a giant cup.
00:35:08
Speaker
Stop talking about my cup. Okay. My favorite has got to be when my younger cousin said, Hawaii is my favorite place to go when we want to go on a quick, cheap vacation. Oh, fuck you. Fuck off. I know. Oh, God. Yeah, we can just take our private jet and we it's not that much in fuel. Yeah, it's absolutely fine. Don't worry about it. It's only 10,000 pounds a ticket. This one made me laugh for a lot of reasons, which hopefully will be clear to you at least. You've never been to Disney? Did your parents not love you or something?
00:35:52
Speaker
Bitch, my parents were raising three kids working two jobs on poverty wages. I never have been to Disney. My parents didn't love me though. No, clearly not. To be fair, I have been to Disneyland Paris. Yeah, it's different for you though because it's like so close. like Your ability to go to Paris, and I'm not saying it doesn't cost money and it's not expensive, but your ability to go to Paris is like me being able to fly to Chicago for $100. Exactly, you know and I've got to tell you, it's very disappointing. You told me once, I remember, I think it was one of the first times, you know we've met a few times, but you're like, oh yeah, I went to Paris, Disney, and the person at the gate was so unenthusiastic, like tickets please. Exactly. Tickets please. I thought I was going to be met by a princess.
00:36:42
Speaker
No, just some dude named Pierre smoking a cigarette. but You go to ticket. Great. Okay, couple more. It's just so easy to drop a grand at Target, you know? My coworker in Calabasas, Kardashian Land, said after he spent $983 on toys for his four-year-old nephew's birthday. What? Not even his own son. Oh, I get it. I'd love to be that rich. A grand on birthday gifts for a child. Just don't even think about it. God. I search on Amazon to find the cheapest version of what I'm looking for. You're like, oh, they love Paw Patrol. Let me find one that's called Paw Petrol. Or I'll go to the fucking charity shop and pick up a second hand one. This one's a little offensive.
00:37:42
Speaker
Her dishwasher broke and she complained about washing her dishes by hand. She even said that she felt like a poor person. Oh, wow, fucky. I mean, sometimes even i I have a dishwasher and wash my dishes by hand. There's some dishes that need to be washed by hand.
00:38:03
Speaker
A friend's sister told me how hard it is to live in Jackson Hole because, quote, you have to fly in your help. for cleaning and yard work and stuff from Salt Lake. Wow. Wow. What a privilege to be able to fly in the help. Yep. What a privilege to have help. I mean, yeah. Okay. Two more. How could your family's accountant let this happen? This was the response when we discussed how growing up we couldn't pay the bills.
00:38:37
Speaker
and had her electricity shut off multiple times. That's if it's just the accountant who, oh fuck, I turned off auto pay. Sorry. Oh, fucking hell. um A rich person once asked me, why don't you just buy a second house for your vacation getaways as if owning one house wasn't already a huge financial stretch?
00:39:07
Speaker
These people are so fucking removed from reality. Yeah. So just sometimes rich people are not just like us. i don't think i I don't think we were poor growing up. We were certainly not wealthy, um but you know my vacations consisted of driving to Des Moines, which was about two and a half hours away to see my grandma, and we would go to Adventureland, which is a shitty little theme park. Awesome. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we weren't poor. At one point, we were quite well off. Dad was doing all right, but then that went.
00:39:50
Speaker
Yeah, you know, it happens. So yeah, I did have a little bit of the rich life. um But I remember at that time in my life, I was actually embarrassed about it because I just wanted to be normal, like all my other school friends. And so when we did have to give it all up and move to a small house in the local town, I was like, yeah, I'm normal. it
00:40:19
Speaker
Like the prince and the pauper. I just want to experience what it's like to be a poor person, switch spots with me. That's you. It's only for a few years, guys. I was not raised with a silver spoon. Well, I was going to ask you if you ever had the experience or heard about people being like, when I was younger and I went to a friend's house, this is how I knew they were wealthier. This is what wealth is. And it was like, for me, like they had a walk-in pantry that had like four pound bags of gummy bears in the giant tub of cheese. Like like you could walk into like a so little room that had all of their food in it. And I was like, wow, this and you have an island yeah in your kitchen.
00:41:05
Speaker
That means your family's rich. That means you've got money. You have a basement that isn't creepy, it's fully finished, and you have a second living room. You have ensuite bathrooms? Well, fuck. Oh, that I don't think I realized that was a thing until college. Really? No. I mean, going to rich friends' houses, I did. ah Yeah. but How the other half live, hey? yeah um One more pivot, sort of related. um app I forgot to tell you this when I was in Maine, ah standing outside. We were at karaoke night, but we're either getting ready to leave or something. and We're standing outside, probably having a bag. and These three youngish girls who were in the bar, they were over 21, but they looked only just.
00:41:55
Speaker
ah where they parked their car haphazardly in a spot they shouldn't have next to us and kept running in and out of the bar because they guess they had a bunch of songs. They're getting ready to leave, but their songs came up. and so like They left the Mercedes running and would run in window down and were just like, I mean, it must be nice to be that young and carefree in your miss Mercedes. Well, they came out and one of the girls to someone in my group was like, I will give you $1,000 if you give me a cigarette." I was like, I mean, that's a contract if I've ever heard one. Go get that 1K. Then she holds up a $5 bill and she goes, I mean, I will give you 1000 quid or something. She's like, she said something about quid. And it was like, well, technically, 1000 quid is more than $1,000. So you should make up your mind here. And she's like, no, that's fake money. It's fake. That's not real. It's from I can't remember if she said, I think she said Game of Thrones or maybe a little bit of rings. But she's like, no, quid isn't real. It's made up. And I was like, it is real and it has been doing better than the dollar for a while now. So a thousand dollars is actually going to be better for you.
00:43:16
Speaker
but then she was holding up a five and the guy was just like, have it. Fucking take my cigarette. What an idiot. So dumb. It's not simoleons. I know. She was so shocked that I was telling her that that is a legitimate actual real currency that people use in this world. Read a book, lady. No shit. That's rich people for you and rich 21-year-olds for you, maybe. Well, speaking of things that are annoying, I've got something for you, where it's people sharing mildly inconvenient things that annoy the hell out of them. Love it, because everything annoys me, um so probably going to relate hard. Yeah, you may feel seen. So here's a few. Slow walkers.
00:44:11
Speaker
And people that stop walking in the middle of a crowded area and don't move despite people being behind them. Yeah, I try really hard not to do this. And despite being of short stature, ah I can zoom. And I hate when I'm with people who are taken forever. We have to get to where I'm going. I don't care if we're on a scenic walk. I am quite a dawdler. Yeah, that's why I can't hang out with you. Yeah. But I mean, when I'm in a city environment or a town, then I'll walk fast if I'm on my own, because I've got places to be. Well, yeah, you're getting point A to C. Yeah. If you're just going on a walk or a stroll, it's a little different. Yeah, on like a dog walk. I just like a nice, gentle stroll. Totally. I mean, I've gone on some
00:44:59
Speaker
long-ass dog walks with you too, and if I were to like power walk through it, I'd be waiting for you guys for a while. Exactly. We like a country dawdle here. hu um Okay, so this user said, when I drop something small onto the floor and have to pick it up, I've completely turned into my father. I usually roll my eyes, sigh as I bend down to pick it up, and then growl angrily when it takes a second or a couple of tries to actually pick it up.
00:45:30
Speaker
It actually kind of annoys me when Nigel does stuff like that because he acts like... He'll be like, for fuck's sake. And I'll be like, did you cut your hand off? did Is our cat dead? What happened? And he's like, I dropped the butter knife. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to go back to what I was doing now. How about I just pick it up? Yeah, calm the fuck down.
00:45:57
Speaker
This person said, being asked to do something that I'm already doing, which is annoying. Or like when your boss or someone will say, and don't forget to, you know, do X thing that you do as a regular part of your duty and have never once missed it or not done it. And it's just all of a sudden like, oh, thank you for telling me to submit my time card. Dick. um And also this one really gets me. getting a pocket stuck on a handle or a drawer.
00:46:32
Speaker
or like your belt loop. yeah yeah like ye Yep. Yep. Oh God, that's annoying. That's not mildly inconvenient, particularly if you fuck up your pants or the thing you caught it on. I dropped my computer in England because my like sleeve, I had a big billowy sleeve and it got like hooked on one of those door handles that like comes out and then goes like this. and So it got stuck and my computer flew out of my hands. That was not mildly inconvenient. That was upsetting. That was a mad rage field. Yes. Oh, when a motion sensor sink turns off before I'm done with it. I can't even get those fuckers to turn on and then I have to wonder if I'm actually alive or exist. Can people see me? Am I a ghost? Yeah. I hate all of those things. This person just said- And that's why robots can't do every job. I just want to say that. That is true.
00:47:31
Speaker
Idiots.
00:47:36
Speaker
This person just said, fucking wind. There is an actual like condition where wind fills people with rage. Really? Yes, and my friend Ryan has it. Where it's just it's so, so rage inducing for them and it's like they can't think of anything and they're so angry.
00:48:02
Speaker
I'm a wind! Yeah, I think it's maybe sensory stuff too, but it is annoying. I hate the wind too. I hate the wind as well. I'm just trying to be chill. Wind has got no chill. Wind can ruin a really lovely day. Wind can ruin your hair, your makeup, a game, homes. Yeah. Fucking hurricanes. They fuck people up. Tornadoes. I feel like that's kind of uber wind.
00:48:30
Speaker
That should be their new name. Uber wins. Uber wins. Yeah, that's just next episode we're going to rename horrible things to make them more tolerable. Okay, this person says, people who listen to things in public without earphones, please, I do not want to hear whatever shitty TikTok you're watching. Oh, had so many conversations about this. My friend Lydia was at like Target. This woman was listening to a fucking audiobook.
00:49:08
Speaker
Yeah. We get it all the time on like public transport here. It's usually young people. It's always young people. Just as lazy like fucking rap music. Yep. Or tiktoks. Bliring out of their phones. I'm like, dude, we're all here as well. I know. Fucking shut up. The entitlement. Oh, I know. I love sounding like a boomer when I talk about this because I know I do. I know I do. I have people these days. Yes. um Okay, this one is, please remove item from basket. Please add item to the basket. Please wait for assistance. I fuck those things up all the time too. Can't bear it. The one in our local supermarket is so obnoxiously loud.
00:49:49
Speaker
It's to start screaming thief because you put something on the so on the thing, bagging area too soon. Fucking ridiculous, yeah. Please remove last item from bag and you're like, fucking Jesus Christ. Again, robots shouldn't do, can't do every job. Oh, this one really is me. Okay, we're getting it activated. I am going to invent something to stop this from happening because I, cook' hate it So when you're washing your face or brushing your teeth and a little trickle of water just runs down your arm.
00:50:30
Speaker
Yep. Really annoys me. Yeah. I don't like being like very, very slightly damp in one single spot either. No. No, I gotta be fully down or not at all. But it's when it goes down the sleeve. Yeah. oh That's why you can't wear a shirt when you do those things. I know, I've never learned. and Do it topless, gal.
00:50:55
Speaker
Oh, good that I go, thanks. So you don't need to invent anything. Just take my top off. but but like Okay, so what would you invent? Would it be like little Elizabethan collars around your waist? Yes. Like our cones? Like animal cones? Yeah, like an animal cone. A scrunchy with an animal cone coming out of it. Really? It just collects the water and then I can just pour it out afterwards. Gemma. You know, they make wristbands that are meant to collect sweat. Sweatbands? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, that's a great idea. Thank you. Thank you. No, thank you. You owe me some money if you make money off of this. They've already reinvented. Yeah, but repurposing things is helpful. True. um Okay, this person said, having nasal congestion on one side of my nose and not the other.
00:51:49
Speaker
And then when it switches sides. Yeah, that's really annoying. Or when you're, it's all right when you're on your own, but I find when you're in bed with someone else and you just have that little whistle, I just get really paranoid about it. Like, can they hear my nose whistling? Yes, they can. And I'll lay there like flaring my nostrils. Just trying to stop it.
00:52:11
Speaker
Yes, they can. They can hear it and they're too polite to say anything. um
00:52:19
Speaker
This probably annoys a lot of people, because loads of people have road rage. Um, someone pulling out in front of me and then driving slower than me. And that's irritating. I do not have road rage, but I have road rage when other people get, like I have road rage at the person who gets road rage when I'm driving. AK Nigel. Cause I'm the person who has to deal with it. The other driver doesn't hear you. I know. I have the same problem with Alan. Very annoyed about things. We're really talking shit today.
00:52:51
Speaker
Sorry. No, I'm not. This one also gives me instant rage. Getting wired earphones caught on a handle and just having them ripped out of your ear. I haven't got AirPods, I haven't done that because I'll lose them. I still have the traditional wired earphones. um And every time I'm in the kitchen listening to something, that bucket happens.
00:53:23
Speaker
So let me just say that I had to go to wireless because not only has that happened, but I wildly gesticulate so much that I yank them out of my ears myself. Like I am not safe with wired. i I've done it, I think, on this podcast before. That's how I knock my mic off. Stop gesticulating. I can't.
00:53:49
Speaker
This person says, when ketchup or other sauce gets rock card around where the sauce comes out of the bottle and you have to make sure it's clean after every time I use it. I mean, I don't make sure it's clean, but yeah, it's gross.
00:54:04
Speaker
Oh, this is annoying. Um, when I'm on Reddit or other social media platforms and my finger accidentally tops the top, taps the top of the screen on my iPad, which suddenly causes the page to scroll all the way to the top. And then I have to see everything I already looked at again. That's very annoying. That is a dumb feature.
00:54:26
Speaker
I thought they were going to say I accidentally liked something from that is on the post of someone that I dated six years ago and I'm looking back at their child and I accidentally liked it. yeah I mean, that's happened to the best of us, isn't it? It actually hasn't happened to me, but I worry about it.
00:54:45
Speaker
oh Well, I feel annoyed. thinking about all the times, all these annoying things have happened to me and they haven't happened to everybody, so that's cool. That's good, yeah. So if these things haven't happened to you, you've had a good day. I'm gesticulating now, I'm just bashing my microphone around. I think I bring that out in you. You do, yeah, you make me passionate. You're welcome. Glad I could help with the wristband conundrum too. Oops. Right, go straight on Amazon and buy some sweat bags. That's going to be your nightly get up. The head one would also be really good for like holding back the hair when I'm doing my facial routine. I use one when I...
00:55:26
Speaker
and wash my face and stuff, so. Yeah, I do have bands, but I always forget to take them into the bathroom. Keep them in the bathroom, you dummy. Well, I don't really have anywhere to put them. It's a band. You can put it li on the doorknob. You can put it around. I don't have doorknobs. I've got these lovely little country clasps. You can put it around your skincare bottle. Yeah, I could do that, yeah. I'm a problem solver. You are. Put a little safety pin in the wall and hang it on that. Rental. Not a safety pin. ah Thumbtack. Safety pin would be really difficult. Don't do that. A little thumbtack. I'm going to do that with a safety pin and send you a picture. Yes, do it. Thanks, Kate. Look what I achieved. ah You up for an air mighty asshole?
00:56:24
Speaker
Yes.
00:56:30
Speaker
ah we Okay.
00:56:33
Speaker
What accent should I do? Do mine. Like not American. Do me. Do me. Do do me. I don't vocal fry that much. I don't vocal fry that much. Okay. You know what? Nevermind. Don't do me. yeah Don't I take this back. Okay. I'm better at British accents, so I'll do one of them. um
00:57:03
Speaker
gonna do I'm from Scouse. I could do Scouse. I'm not very good at Scouse, but I'll try. Manchester. You could do Essex too. That one's kind of easy, right? I could do Essex, yeah. Okay. Am I the arsehole for slapping a teenager? Okay. Essex is perfect.
00:57:33
Speaker
Right. I, 32 female, sorry, was at a water park this last weekend with my husband, who is 32 and male, and my daughter. um We were in one of those pools practicing swimming and keeping to ourselves. There was a group of team boys there and while I was working with my daughter on swimming on one of them, sorry, while I was working with my daughter on swimming, one of them came up behind me and I felt a tug on the strings of my top untying it. I spun round, saw this 15 to seven year old with a smirk and I slapped him.
00:58:11
Speaker
This caused a scene. The park staff got involved as well as the boy's parents who were livid at me. My husband and another lady saw it and confirmed that he really did grab my top. There was also a camera around the pool that show kind of shows but kind of shows it but it wasn't the best angle. The boy's parents threaten sexual assault, not sexual assault, the boy's parents threaten assault charges and I threaten sexual assault charges if they decided to go that way. Eventually we were both asked to leave and I haven't heard anything since. My husband though thinks that I overreacted a bit which I don't. Am I the asshole?
00:58:54
Speaker
Wow, this is a tough one, but I do want to re-emphasize that I think that was a really good accent choice for that one too. You're welcome. You did well. Okay. I'm just going to get it out there. like Adults shouldn't hit kids. I mean, hitting is bad, right? but there I also think if this were an adult male who did this, like that is, from my opinion, reasonable self-defense and a reasonable reaction to someone who is committing some light sexual assault there. um Now, I think her turning around and and seeing and visualizing the age of this kid tells me she had enough time to be like, this kid. Probably shouldn't hit kids. That's not been, I don't know this kid, but I should be able to, i should do I need to go to take this kid to the lifeguard or the authorities here, find his parents and tell him what he did.
00:59:55
Speaker
Now, I think given what happened, it would be really hard to get that rational that fast, because I would be fucking livid if someone did that to me. um And particularly if it was intentional, right? If it was like a three-year-old that clearly was just like grabbing shit, yeah right? OK. But I think it it the level of assholery here range depends on to the extent that this person had enough time to see and visualize and and perceive the kid who did it. versus just immediately turning around and slapping, whoever did it, right? So i I'm going to say not the asshole.
01:00:33
Speaker
But like also hitting kids is not the behavior we want to role model for stuff like this. But I also think like defending yourself from sexual assault, sometimes you have to respond it with force. right So I'm a little at a loss here. um I think that the parents' reaction to what their child did and you know the slap isn't the same as a closed fist, I guess. And it seems like there's probably no like injury there. um there The parents' reaction is very assholey and way to teach your kid not to you know grab women. What are the consequences for your actions? Yeah. so I don't know. I got to think about it a little bit more. What do you think? I mean, I've read the comments, so my opinion is swayed by them, but most people are saying,
01:01:26
Speaker
Like you said that it's an instant reaction thing, ah considered thought about, oh, I'm going to slap you. It's a reaction. Turn around and slap. Yeah. Like to someone trying to touch you or someone trying to pull your top off. um
01:01:45
Speaker
So yeah, a lot of people are saying, you know, not the asshole. He was clearly sexually assaulting you. You used proportionate force in self-defense. Haha. I just, it's really hard for me to be like, yes, slap that little fucker. Thing is, it's not a child. I mean, it is technically, but he's a teenager. yeah He knows that you shouldn't do that. I mean, I agree. Yeah. um Not the asshole. That's a natural reaction. I'd probably do the same by natural reflex and then loads of people were like, yeah, like a similar thing happened to me and the message didn't even reach my brain before I turned around and whacked them.
01:02:24
Speaker
um So maybe it's just something that's kind of ingrained in women as well, just to be like, this is how we have our yeahp yeah you know yeah It's certainly reasonable. It's not like they whipped out a knife and shanked him either. you know but like she But what if it was a little kid who acts like was falling or drowning and flailing around and grabbed and reached out and yanked off her top or pulled the string and then she whacked them? like People would probably have some feelings about that, but it also, again, was like, well, yeah, when you're kind of in fight mode, you it's hard for you to rational like rationally walk through your reactions to it. you know i just I'm uncomfortable being like slap children, hit children. you know I don't want to say that, but I also don't think that this is really that unreasonable.
01:03:13
Speaker
No, and it depends how hard. Yeah. I bet she's not, like I said, she's not decking the kid in the face and breaking his nose. It sounds like he got slapped across the face, which is some form of punishment parents use, you know, or have used at least, you know, I feel like I got slapped in the face for being the sass mouth when I was a kid. So. Yeah. Okay. Here's some controversial comments. So this person said, your husband's a douchebag. You should kick that kid's ass. well And then the next person said, let's not normalise hitting children. As someone who was beat as a child for doing things I didn't know were wrong to me at the time. It didn't help me learn. It just made me problematic. And then the next person who said, he assaulted a woman. He deserves to have every bone in his face broken. Oh, he's a teen. He knows damn well what sexual assault is.
01:04:03
Speaker
The smirk tells me that, I mean, we had kids snapping bras when I was younger, and it's like they know exactly what they're doing even if they are 10, 11, 12, right? They maybe don't think about it as sexualized in the same way, but this kid knew what he was doing. He probably didn't mean any maliciousness by it. It was just, oh, this would be funny. Yeah, I was being a shitty little kid. um A lot of people hating on the husband. Your husband is a bitch. He should have defended you. Those little predators tried to sexually assault you. Find yourself a real man and press charges on both the perpetrators and their parents.
01:04:46
Speaker
I think that his husband's reaction is disproportionate. like If he was like, I don't know if I would have slapped the kid, but I I was fucked up and you shouldn't have done that. and i'm you know I'm glad you responded. I don't know if Colin or the asshole is the right move here. No. Well, hung Jerry on that one. Not really. i just It's a complicated situation where I don't think there's a blanket response that I'm going to say, yep, always do this or always don't do this. i just
01:05:20
Speaker
really wanted to say on the record that I don't condone hitting children. That's all. Disclaimer. Neither Gemma or I hit kids. yes With that, often, hard.
01:05:44
Speaker
yeah yeah It's a good shit-talking episode today for not having a lot of plan. We're just riffing it. We just riffed it, guys, so give us give us some props here. We're just riffing, we're just improvising. We're just coming up with the first thing that comes into my head. Yep. I like your lobster claws. Thanks. I don't know where that came from. Again, improvised. Let's do our shoulder dance that no one can see but us. dioo dooo dig you do New dance, literally no part of your body moves except your shoulders. Left and right, left and right, left and right, up and down, up and down. It's kind of hard actually. It is, yeah. Especially when your shoulders up. Well, if anyone has any other opinions on that, I might be arse who, or if you could send in other things that mildly
01:06:33
Speaker
mildly annoying, but seriously infuriate you. That would be cool. I'd like to read a few more of those. Yeah. I'm genuinely curious what listeners might think about the, am I the asshole too? And also mildly annoying, but genuinely infuriating things that they've experienced that I've also undoubtedly experienced, but can't think of. I just want to continue to be anger. Anger. I want to continue to be anger. I want to be anger. I am rage.
01:07:03
Speaker
But yeah, talk shit to us at gmail dot.com. Or tsybpod on socials. All of the socials. All of the socials. Not truth social, fuck that website. Oh yeah, I completely forgot that even existed. It might not anymore, to be honest, I bet it does, but... Yeah. Well, on that note, dear Catherine,
01:07:27
Speaker
What a gem, what a gem, what a magnifying gem.
01:07:33
Speaker
like those one was those value yeah Grab something and pull it back. Yeah, just come to me. It's good to see you. Until next time. Till next time. It's great. Bye.