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48. Strangers Farts Are Better
67 Plays1 year ago
This week the girls are talking sh*t about what they've been up to, they delve into 'fractionation dating' and play another round of Wrong Answer Only.
Send in your sh*t to TalkShitToUs@gmail.com or DM @TSYBPOD
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Transcript
Opening Chatter and Karaoke Jokes
00:00:14
Speaker
Hi. Hi. What up? What up, girl? Talking shit with a yank and a Brit. That's it. The honey, honey, come wide. DKNY, all up in your eye. Gotta. Prada. Bag with a lotta. I'm gonna stop now before we get sued.
00:00:33
Speaker
Probably a good idea. Yeah. My skills though. Thanks. I don't know if I got all of those lyrics right, but that is the one song that I generally know most, if not all of the lyrics to, and probably should do it more at karaoke. You should actually, yeah. Next time you go to karaoke. Did it at your house, didn't we? Oh, I don't know. I was very drunk. Still hungover from that.
Gemma's Return to Work and Glamping Stories
00:01:01
Speaker
Anyway, how are you?
00:01:03
Speaker
I'm well, first day back of work today after a four-day weekend and it was fine. I should also say that you are Gemma the Brit. Oh yeah, I am the British one in case you couldn't work that out. It's confusion about that. You're the American, the Yank.
00:01:26
Speaker
I am, I think, you know, I be. And Yank Stan is slang for septic tank. Oh no, it's not. Septic tank is Cockney rhyming slang for Yank. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And honestly, that's what I thought you said. So I was like, no, that's right. Yes. I wasn't listening. Um, anyway, just talking to Yank and Britt and I want to hear about G's little trippy.
00:01:56
Speaker
A little drippy. It was wonderful. Went up to Wales, South Wales we were in and stayed in... It's a company called the Welsh Farm Glamping, which I just came across on Instagram on like a reel. And it was around the time I was like thinking about what to do for Alan's birthday.
00:02:25
Speaker
And it kept popping up and then I checked the availability and lo and behold, it was available for his birthday weekend. So I booked it a while back. And we stayed in, they have three sites. We were just gonna ask you which one it was. We were in the Yurt hideaway. Oh, looks lovely. Right down the little. It was so nice, literally. It's never even been to a place where
00:02:54
Speaker
As soon as you arrive, you feel the vibe. Like we literally got out of the car and just both relaxed. I don't know what that's like. So you literally, we got there, it's on like a little farm and it was tucked right at sort of the back of the farm. You drive through and like up this little dirt track. It's like in this little woodland area.
Living the Glamping Dream
00:03:19
Speaker
and you park the car up and then there's this like gorgeous little like homemade boardwalk winding through the woods, which then takes you into this little clearing and there's a yurt and a shepherd's hut with like a gorgeous bathroom in it, a fire pit, a pizza oven and a hot tub.
00:03:41
Speaker
And it was just so not even, even when we got there, it was raining, but it was just awesome. It looks cozy as hell. It was, you know, they got a little log burner in there. I almost wanted to rain at least one night. Yeah, that's it. Were the cows right up in your business? No, they weren't unfortunately, but we did drive past some cows and sheep.
00:04:05
Speaker
Um, yeah, it was just awesome. Just like the bed had like heated blankets and so it was like super cozy and warm and there's like a little kitchenette in there. Oh yeah, just literally as you're describing this, I'm scrolling through the pictures and you're just hitting all of the, like bed, kitchenette, pancakes.
00:04:24
Speaker
That's it. Yeah, we just, you know, we lived our best lives and made pizza in the pizza ovens and sat and drank wine in the hot tub all night, both nights. Nice. It was just fucking lovely. I didn't want to leave. I just felt so calm and relaxed. And now I want to live in the woods in a yacht. Thank you, please. Bye. It's going to be hard to do this podcast, but we'll
Podcasting from the Woods
00:04:48
Speaker
figure it out.
00:04:48
Speaker
Well, I thought I could probably do it. I could find somewhere with an internet connection. Once a week. They had electricity in there, so they can get internet shortly. Yeah, it looks gorgeous. I'm pretty jealous. It was fucking lush. Highly recommend to anyone. It was great. Fucking loved it. Can you do a Welsh accent?
00:05:11
Speaker
I can. Whose coat is that jacket? Whose coat is that jacket? Is that a thing? It's just saying that I know. Okay, nice. Whose coat is that jacket? And you say, you know, you're from the valleys.
00:05:34
Speaker
It's
Welsh Culture and Stereotypes
00:05:35
Speaker
funny, when I've been to Wales before, I've been to North Wales a couple of times. Not many people there had a Welsh accent, which was very disappointing. Is it just, they just are British sounding or what? Yeah, just, you know, normal Southern accent like mine. But in South Wales, where we went, quite a few Welsh accents. Interesting. It's very nice. I was just going to say they sound very like kind of as if they were the Southern country
00:06:04
Speaker
equivalent of an accent, you know? Like you get that kind of like lilt that I feel like Southern drawls have, you know? Yeah, but it's the other way around in miles.
00:06:19
Speaker
I always like to say that Australia is the Texas of England too, because, you know, of Australian accents and how they sound.
00:06:39
Speaker
Oh, just that jacket. I think they call microwaves something like pickety pongs or something. So they also love having nonsense words and phrases for things. Yeah. Got it. Or it's just we are being horrible and making fun of them. No.
00:07:01
Speaker
Okay. Let's caveat that with. Poppity ping. Is that what it's really called? Cause that's the noise it makes. Yeah. It makes sense. Well, I like it and I'm going to start referring to my microwave as that because Mikrowave is ridiculous. I like Mikrowave, actually. Poppity name Mikrowave.
00:07:26
Speaker
Someone, my friend Erin sent me a voice memo a while ago and she's like, please ask Sean to say, microwave. And I was like, oh, okay. And he knew exactly what they were getting at. And so he goes, well, it's a Mikrowave, isn't it? And I look at him and I'm like, no, that is not what you guys say. Is it? How have I never,
00:07:56
Speaker
heard you guys say that then. And Erin and her daughter and whoever else was there, I think they were dying laughing because they're like, we got to know if this is what they actually pronounced that word as. And then he's like, no, don't be bloody stupid. And I was like, okay, thank God.
00:08:14
Speaker
No, it was just... Do you know the chef called Nigella Lawson? Yeah. So she said it on one of her cooking programmes, which are basically like soft porn. Yeah, nobody really knows whether she did it in jest or whether that's actually what she calls it because she is quite sort of well spoken and... In the Mikrowave. Pop it in the Mikrowave.
00:08:38
Speaker
I think it, so first she probably was like, I'm going to fuck with some people, which is pretty funny. Um, but also it's kind of like here, we have target, but people are like, Ooh, I'm going to Tarjay because I want to make it sound boobiesier than it is. So same with Primark here, you know, primarche. Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:59
Speaker
Very, very fancy stuff, very expensive, high quality stuff that doesn't immediately disintegrate upon first wear and wash. Definitely not made by children in Africa. No. No, it's probably children in some Asian country. Well, so I'm glad you had a nice time. I'm glad that you got to get away and I'm sorry I had to go back to work today.
00:09:25
Speaker
Good news, I'm going to Greece in three weeks. Yeah, I am very jealous about that too.
Travel Plans and Gigs
00:09:30
Speaker
I've always wanted to go. It's on my bucket list, so I'm just going to seethe. I'm so excited. Seethe with envy. I can't fucking wait. I'm so jealous I could murder you. Please don't murder me. I want to go on holiday. I'll murder you after.
00:09:45
Speaker
Because I don't know what else you're going to have to live for after that anyway. I get really bad. I was telling Alan, I get really bad holiday blues when I come back from holiday. It's got a slight come down from the weekend away. I'm going to be fully depressed when I get back. Well, let's just plan another trip, even if it's for a while out. Come visit. It's about time. It's been ages since you've been here.
00:10:09
Speaker
true so maybe I will good I guess Alan can come too but you know I know he and I hate each other so I'm gonna have to keep a separate like two feral cats well so you got that coming up anything else exciting coming up and you get some gigs if you want to do a little plug for the band
00:10:34
Speaker
Oh, yep. Got some gigs this weekend. I got three gigs, one on Friday, one on Saturday, one on Sunday, and I'm exhausted at the thought of it. So excited about it. Friday, we're at the Old Albion in Hove. Saturday, we're at the Signalman, which is somewhere else in Brighton.
00:10:56
Speaker
And Sunday, we're at the Islingwood. Islingwood. Islingwood. Islingwood. I don't know how you say it. Don't ask me. Yeah, I'm up for it. Man, like, it's hard work doing a gig. It's exhausting. So doing three days in a row,
00:11:20
Speaker
It's gonna be pretty full on and I'm missing Keith's barbecue. Yeah, that's dumb. Always a good time. A Keith barbecue. A birthday barbecue bonanza. Yeah. Would you like to call it? Yeah. I'm sad I'm missing it, so if it makes you feel any better, I'm not gonna be there, which is why it's so fun. So really, it's probably gonna suck. Also, that means surely you're missing your anniversary.
00:11:52
Speaker
Yes, I didn't forget it all. Yeah. Yep. I mean, Nigel made that choice. I guess he didn't want to spend it with me. Nice one, Nigel. I'm just going to cry and eat cake by myself. Take myself out. And you are more than entitled to. It's my anniversary cry if I want to.
00:12:22
Speaker
yeah i nothing like doing something you love so much that you kind of hate it though that is the problem it's not like i'll enjoy every gig when i'm there but
00:12:36
Speaker
As we were saying earlier, like, you know, pop stars just turn up and sing and they don't have to work all week as well. They also don't have to set all the equipment up and take it all down before and after. They have a driver. They don't have to walk their dogs. They don't have to clean their house. They have their food made for them. Exactly. One day. So it's quite a long process. It's not just the fact that we turn up, play a gig and fuck off. It's, you know, we're there hours before and hours afterwards.
00:13:04
Speaker
Yeah.
Adulthood and Canceling Plans
00:13:05
Speaker
I also think there's something to be said about the fact of like now at maybe it's our age, maybe it's the sign of our times, like making plans and then leading up to the plans, you just get less and less excited about it. Yeah. Make them when you're in the mood for it. And then by the time it happens, you're like, Oh God.
00:13:25
Speaker
Yeah. Fingers crossed maybe someone wants to cancel sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love doing this podcast with you, but there certainly have been times where it's like, should we meet today? Nah. Cool. Fine. Super hungover. Can't do it. Great. Me too. Let's not. That's it. Yeah. I think that's just part of adulting, isn't it? For sure.
00:13:52
Speaker
Trying to think about what's cool with me these days. Yeah, what's going on? What's new? What's happening? What's hip?
00:13:59
Speaker
I mean, been single cat parenting for about a week now. Well, no, not quite that long. A couple of days. It's chips wrecked the house. Yeah. I'm I've actually had to buy a new house. So I'm hoping to like swap them out before Nigel gets back in order to like make it look like it's the same. Yeah. Yeah. That's intense. Chips eight is Liverpool jersey. Yeah. He had a whole wheel of cheese.
00:14:30
Speaker
Lucy started a fire somehow. I don't even know how she knew how to light a lighter, but she's developed fire starting power somehow. She can't see where the matches are.
00:14:43
Speaker
No, it's been fine. I've been busy with work. I had to go to the state capital yesterday. I've never been so like inside. So that's kind of a fun thing. I guess it's a cool building. And I got to see, you know, government in
00:15:04
Speaker
The works, like in motion, yes. And it was actually this organization that I'm a part of for my work. And I'm also on the board of, we basically all congregated. There are several members congregated there to talk about the efforts of the org with our lawmakers. And we got assigned to our particular constituents based on where we live.
00:15:30
Speaker
The idea was we talked to them and I'm like, well, fuck. I hate talking to people a lot. I'm starting to sweat now. I can very competently talk about things that I care about in terms of work and the things that this organization is supporting or is willing to say, this is what we support, this is what we don't.
00:15:55
Speaker
But I'm bad at networking and that's kind of what this was a little bit. I skipped it in law school. Yeah, I just didn't go to those things in law school. I didn't bother getting to know professors or people because I was just like, this feels really fake and I just don't know if I can comfortably do that. Plus it makes me anxious because what if they don't like me? Oh God.
00:16:18
Speaker
Basically, do nothing. We did nothing and I was like, I didn't bring my computer. I feel like I'm just wasting my day. I have so much to do. Then really quickly, it was like, oh, you can send a note to your lawmaker and they'll just come out of session and talk to you.
00:16:38
Speaker
Why didn't anyone say this sooner? We've been sitting here for like the last three hours doing nothing. And so then like basically within a matter of 15 minutes, I talked to both of my gals who are lovely. Like the prettiest people I've seen, first of all, women of color to young stylish. And they were so nice and probably like literally did not give two shits about what I was talking about, but acted like they did, which was nice. And I just was like, so,
00:17:12
Speaker
sitting there dripping. They wanted to get pictures and I was like, please don't take pictures of me. I bet it's a photo op, but I don't need to be in the photo op. Just do the back of my head. Yeah, or just exclusively put this person on and just have me handing them the paper and my hand can be in it. My hand's okay. Yeah.
00:17:36
Speaker
So that got that done and was relieved to be done. I was so socialized out after that.
00:17:45
Speaker
just wanted to come home and stare blankly at a wall, even though we did nothing. I talked to the people I knew there for the majority of it, but the 10 minutes I had to speak to these women, these powerful women who were busy, probably deal... I mean, they were talking about gun laws yesterday and some other things, and I'm like, you want to done me? I like kids.
00:18:10
Speaker
So thank you for your time, ladies. I really appreciate that. And thank you for, you know, acting like what I was saying was coherent. I also appreciate that. Girl, I bet you did amazing. It was fine. But yeah, imagine that took it out of you quite a lot.
00:18:26
Speaker
Turns out maybe like I am a bundle of anxiety and very introverted, I guess. Yeah, I guess that's what you've discovered about yourself. They took going to the Capitol to find that out, you know? Yeah.
00:18:41
Speaker
I have a good friend who listens to the pod sometimes. She does that stuff like for her work. And I just am so impressed with the fact that like this is just very she's very comfortable in that sphere. But it's like very clear. It's just like a lot of talking and kind of like getting to know people and like, hey, I can do this thing. Can you do this thing? But got to be shit at that. Yeah, same. Sure. Sure would be.
00:19:10
Speaker
back, you know, well, yeah, I feel your pain, ma'am. If I just go and see clients for the day, you're like, okay, I can do this. It's an eight year old girl. Hopefully she doesn't say anything mean to me that devastates me. And let's go. Well, our clients tend to be like solicitors or, you know, Oh, you know what? I was thinking of yours. You're singing. I mean, work, work. Yeah. Yeah. Work, work. Um,
00:19:39
Speaker
But yeah, that's often exhausting. You just have to, you have to be on all day. Yeah, you have to kind of like code switch. And I think like, and I, this is where I feel bad for, you know, I read about like black and brown people who have to code switch in white spaces in order to like make the white people around uncomfortable. That must be exhausting too. So like the fact that I had to kind of like kind of do that for 20 minutes yesterday and I'm super tired. Yeah.
00:20:07
Speaker
Anyway, that's not really a lot else to look forward to this week, except for work and I have to testify on Friday, which I can't see. Yep. I kind of secretly enjoy doing that because it's a little fun for me to be like, I know all the tips and tricks too. So I'm going to play. Yeah. Do you feel like Elle from Legally Blonde?
00:20:33
Speaker
I think I did more when I was practicing law. Now I'm on the other side in the witness stand, but very comfortable being like, was that a question? I'm not sure what you're asking. No, that's not what I said. I can't simply say yes. I think I've made ups at many an attorney slash pro se litigant, maybe even a judge.
00:20:59
Speaker
I'm sorry, I can't say yes or no to that. It's more than just a yes or no answer. Oh, dear. Yeah, that's my week. Everyone questioning Kate. You're going to get your ass handed to you. Maybe it depends, but yeah, probably.
00:21:27
Speaker
What do you want to do first? You want to play a game? You want to hear about this weird gaslighting dating method I've read about? Yeah, I want to hear about that. OK. So I already know the answer to this, but just so I can say it on air, what we're talking about.
Understanding Fractionation Dating
00:21:42
Speaker
Have you ever heard of fractionation dating? No. It happened. So it is in a nutshell
00:21:53
Speaker
I haven't read too much on it, so I'm going to talk pretty off the cuff about it. I have a couple things, articles to refer to, but I also don't really think I need to do a deep dive on this because I don't really want to give it a lot of dedicated airtime because it's fucked up. All right, cool. According to this Reddit post, Fractionation is taking a woman on an emotional ride.
00:22:17
Speaker
For some deep psychological reason, this builds an emotional connection. An example would be after a fun, happy conversation, you then get her talking about how she felt when her dog died. This is serious mind-fucking, which may backfire if you're not subtle. The terminology comes from hypnosis. We're taking someone in and out of trance, deepens the trance. Push-pull is a form of fractionation as it involves making and breaking rapport, but is limited to mentally pushing and pulling the person away from you.
00:22:46
Speaker
Ultimately to basically hypnotize this woman in in like seduce her Okay, is that not just a conversation Yes, but it's it's manipulative right because it's not just like Tell me about the best thing that's happened to you. Tell me about the worst thing that's happened to you. It's It's intentional
00:23:11
Speaker
conversation where the male, I'm just going to say male because that's actually primarily pursued and it's thought of by a male. But I think some of the stuff I've seen was like, oh, can women use this on men? But so this other article says it's the process of seducing a woman using psychological techniques, which to me,
00:23:39
Speaker
That sounds problematic to me because it's not like getting to know someone and developing a natural connection. It's particularly using this prescribed program or technique to seduce a woman. You're intentionally going in with this goal. It's not like a natural human connection thing.
00:24:00
Speaker
It was said to be invented by neuro-linguistic programming expert, John Grinder, and also renowned psychologist, Carl Jung, which I don't, I didn't research enough of that. I wonder if Carl Jung actually just talked about like psychological aspects of things and then like basically they took it and like manipulated that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:22
Speaker
Yeah, but you take advantage of information gained from advanced human psychology and hypnosis, and it is believed that a man can seduce a woman within minutes of meeting her. And the purpose of this process is to trigger a mini emotional roller coaster that will confuse her emotions towards you. Yeah, that's all coming out of a date. Yeah, confused. So step one.
00:24:49
Speaker
Grab her attention. And it's like tips on basically how to get her kind of interested. One method is peacocking, which is done by wearing extremely eye-catching outfits or pieces of clothing. Another method is called nagging. Are you familiar with nagging? Yeah. Points out something negative and irks her into starting a discussion about it. It's recommended that you don't use something extremely offensive like, hey, you're fucking ugly. Yeah, that probably won't work.
00:25:18
Speaker
I think another thing I read, not today, but when I was first kind of learning about this was something like where it's kind of like, it's as if you're giving a compliment, almost like a backhanded compliment, but you're saying something nice, but it's like, I love how you have such bad manners. Yeah, something like that. Excuse me? Or it could be something like them trying to be purposely provocative to like,
00:25:44
Speaker
you know, make some backhanded comment about feminism or something like that, which will rile them up and yeah. So step two was like develop trust and just like kind of even just like a modicum of trust helps you
00:26:01
Speaker
capitalize, like you're eliciting information too that you can then use. And once a woman shows interest and engages you in conversation, then you tell her something personal about yourself or tell her a secret because then that makes her feel closer to you. Can I just put a little disclaimer? We're not teaching you how to do this.
00:26:22
Speaker
Oh, no, it's we're criticizing it. And I won't. Maybe I mean, people are going to look it up. I guess any man or one out there who's interested, like, I guess you could figure this out on your own. But it's not genuine. And any person who clocks on to you doing this, whether right away or down the road, I mean, they're going to be pissed. So yeah.
00:26:45
Speaker
Um, and ultimately the whole point is like you, you, you kind of, the, the roller coaster of it, the push pull of it, it's like where you kind of get them up here and then you, you bring them down and you kind of like you. You breadcrumb or you ghost or something, and then they want more. So, you know, once you start kind of doing the negative part of it, the hope is, is that this person's going to be like reaching out, pursuing you, you know, and you got them hooked and then you can get them to do anything you want.
00:27:16
Speaker
lovely i know and so i don't i just it's like
00:27:23
Speaker
You can get them to be attracted to you. You can get them to want to have sex with you. You can get them to basically be super dependent on you. One thing, how I came across this was I won't name it too much because we're not supposed to. There's this group out there of women who basically fact check men in the dating community to warn other women about red flags. Yeah. Have you heard of it? Yeah. OK. So I ended up just kind of out of morbid curiosity joining that group.
00:27:53
Speaker
It's very interesting. Is it? Yes. And someone posted about this and like put a link in and I started reading about it and it's just like it's.
00:28:06
Speaker
The way this person, whoever wrote that particular article about it, our post, it was like ultimately to control, like to have a woman you can control who you could do whatever you want to, like basically create a course of controlling dependent abusive relationship where the woman is stuck. Fuck's sake. Yeah. Get a life. I know. Go outside for a minute. Oh God. Have you heard of the book, The Game?
00:28:37
Speaker
Yes. Didn't they make a TV show out of it too? Or like, maybe I'm thinking of the pickup artist, but maybe he used. Yeah, that's basically what it is. Yeah. Yeah. Which is, yeah, pretty much the same thing. Just how to manipulate your way into sleeping with as many women as you can. Mm-hmm. Lovely. I think there's, and this is where I only have like limited experience. I think there's a
00:29:03
Speaker
There's something about dating dynamics that you aren't your full self. You're putting on your best face, but I think that's very natural. I do that at work. I do that for a job interview. I do that when I'm meeting people for the first time, even if it's not a dating scenario.
00:29:22
Speaker
Because you keep things private for people you don't know that well. And so I get that there's some inherent kind of like fakeness to the dating scene, but also it's not in the interest of manipulating, I think, or it shouldn't be. It's more about just like you're getting to know someone. So you share what you're comfortable with.
00:29:47
Speaker
Maybe you're more open because of experience and you know what you want, so you're going to be a little bit more candid than some people. But I don't know. I just feel like it's sad to me that there's people out there who either have the goal of, I just want to fuck as many women as I want. I'm going to manipulate them into it. I want to control a woman. I want to have a dominant relationship over a person. That's their motivation. It's sad. It is really sad.
00:30:17
Speaker
just yeah I wonder why I guess it's I guess it is to sleep with as many women as you can because that's what some men care about a lot but yeah why yeah I guess it's a control thing as well some men like to control it's weird like I know someone who works with someone who
00:30:43
Speaker
used to be really sort of normal and decent but has recently clearly sort of gone down a like Andrew Tate fucking journey and what I'm on now is like super misogynistic and like disrespectful towards women and the way he just talks about life and women and it's just like ridiculous it's like why
00:31:11
Speaker
What do you think you're gaining from having this point of view in this perspective? But if you want a partner, an equal partner, then you're going about it the fucking wrong way, mate. Yeah. Have you heard of like Red Pill? Like on Reddit, I think it's Red Pill, it might be Blue Pill, but basically it's like
00:31:40
Speaker
kind of similar of a bunch of men who get together, they're like involuntary celibate, they say incel to basically talk fuck women, women say they want a nice guy and looks don't matter, but then they go for the chads and stuff like that. It's just like a bunch of men circle jerking each other about how much they hate women. Yeah. Well, I didn't know it was called that, but I know there's loads of incel groups.
00:32:09
Speaker
Yeah, okay, the red pill, discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men. Thing is it, no, I'm not excusing it at all, but I think that is something to be said that I think a lot of men feel quite lost in this society now because before they sort of, you know, you had,
00:32:39
Speaker
they had a set of rules to follow. You had to be masculine and provide for the family, look after the woman while she was at home doing all the homey stuff and raising the children, whereas now... Things have changed, but not those set of rules. Yeah, but I think a lot of men are struggling to find their place in society and don't know what they're doing, and so they fall into this.
00:33:07
Speaker
Women are terrible. It's like, no, no, no. You're getting the wrong end of the stick, guys. You just have to be nice to people in general. You'll probably be all right. I think they're a bit confused. I think I've said this, or we've talked about this sort of in previous episodes, but this is where I go back to like, okay, we talk about the patriarchy.
00:33:32
Speaker
And it's clear that the patriarchy actually isn't working for the group that it was designed to work for as well. It's not actually working for anyone, is it? Yeah. Maybe we need to fuck the patriarchy. Fuck the patriarchy. Woo. So I don't know. I'm curious if anyone at home listening has any thoughts about Fractionation dating, they know about it, used it, have had it used on them.
Personal Tales of Manipulative Relationships
00:34:01
Speaker
just because it's just, and I think that's what I found interesting in some of the stuff I read was Whitman being like, yeah, I was with a person who in hindsight, it was very clear. This is like how they kind of drew me in and managed to keep me around for so long and hear my experiences with them. And I managed to extricate myself after, you know, X, Y, and Z horrible things. So is it like a long-term thing? It's not just like something you do on a date kind of thing. It's like a,
00:34:32
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I mean, it could be long-term in terms of like my goal is to go on a date and have sex with that person, or it could be my goal is to go on a date ultimately to find someone who I can then basically make my at-home personal servant slash whatever, right? Just get a fucking cleaner.
00:34:57
Speaker
I mean, hire a chef. I don't want to pay for it, do they? No, I think probably someone could probably use it with really pure intentions too. The pickup artist, I don't know if you ever watched that show. I think the hope was to teach men who have historically just had trouble
00:35:23
Speaker
in their personal and romantic lives. I was Googling it to see two seasons, but there's this little grid where it's like, okay, this person has never kissed a girl or this person has not had a date in five years and helped them get more confidence, but in a really toxic way as opposed to Queer Eye, which is this person just needs a little boost, self-care, pep talk, talk to them about how to
00:35:53
Speaker
do things to make themselves feel good and ultimately boost their confidence and make those things better for them. Yeah, and I don't think the original sort of pick up artist way of life and the game book is not from a good intentioned place. Yeah, it's just basically manipulation.
00:36:18
Speaker
Yeah. Neil Strauss, the game penetrating the secret society of pickup artists. I did download it because I wanted to read it when I was dating, just to know what to look out for. It does seem to be a really big thing among, especially like guys in their 20s. It's very popular. Going back to, because I want to correct something now.
00:36:47
Speaker
When I said fractionation, it's a technique invented by neuro-linguistic programming expert, John Grinder, and renowned psychologist, Carl Jung. Theirs wasn't intended for seduction, picking up women. It was Neil Strauss, this article says, who wrote the game, and a guy named Derek Rake who created the seduction part or used it to be in terms of dating. Yeah.
00:37:15
Speaker
Well done, Neil. Something else we have to worry about when we're dating. Christ. Watch out, guys. Or women. Use it back on them. Yeah. Turn it around. I love your ugly feet. I love that you think you can wear sandals.
00:37:41
Speaker
That's so cute. Now tell me about your worst childhood experience. Tell me about when you had to put your dog down. Are you going to play a game? Yeah, I want to play a game. Yeah, let's play a game. Well, I quite enjoyed playing the wrong answer's game.
00:38:08
Speaker
Last week, so I've compiled a few questions for you. Oh God. Okay. I'm going to try real hard not to think about it. Okay. Yeah. Just first thing that comes to your head. Okay. What color is a carrot? Purple. I was thinking purple when I first saw it. I was like, carrots are purple.
00:38:34
Speaker
We've genetically engineered them to make them orange for some reason. I think some king did it years ago. So in a way, it's kind of like the right wrong answer. Yeah. It's a trick question answer. All right. How do you clean your clothes? Well, first and foremost, I will take it outside and find a puddle. And so I take, you know, we'll just say shirt.
00:39:03
Speaker
Actually, we'll say my underwear because I think this is probably a really effective way to clean my delicates.
00:39:08
Speaker
The dirtier the puddle, the better. So like if it's actually quite muddy, you know, with just a little bit of water, I will kind of, you know, really kind of fuck it up in that. And, you know, yeah, if there's rocks, I will put rocks in and maybe like kind of shake it around over my head like a helicopter to kind of like exfoliate the material. You know, it doesn't work as well with like the lacy ones because the rocks just fly out. But, you know, whatever your best. And then what I'll do is I'll go stick it in the litter box for four or five days.
00:39:38
Speaker
And, you know, the more my cats use it, the better because I find that that act and like those enzymes in their bodily fluids really kind of get the germs out. So after, you know, I think a couple of days of marinating, it is then that I will flush it in the toilet. All right. Yeah. And then let it air dry. But over the the muffler, like the exhaust pipe on my car.
00:40:07
Speaker
Oh, good idea. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. All right. Where do you sleep? In my shoes.
00:40:22
Speaker
I know you're thinking like, you fit your shoes. So, you know, like I'll have one hand in one, one hand in another, you know, like I'll have a couple for a pillow. Um, and then because all my shoes are in my closet, it's very like, yeah. So that, and then like my feet or my legs are kind of up the wall. So I'm kind of sleeping like yours. Yeah. So legs, body, pillow. And then I make sure to put like one of
00:40:51
Speaker
the smelliest shoes I can find over my face. Because that just knocks me right out. Yeah, it just knocks me right out. So... I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I just imagined you sleeping in a nice big comfy shoe like in the nursery rhyme, but that's better. You know, one day that is the goal, but I have yet to find one that is in my price range.
00:41:14
Speaker
Oh, the old shoe housing market is terrible these days. It is. Yeah. A lot of old women with lots of kids. What do you usually do in the bathroom? I will sing show tunes and do this podcast.
00:41:34
Speaker
Ah, that's why it's so echoey all the time. Yeah. Don't you see the toilet in the background? So when I'm not recording the podcast, I'm singing show tunes. Oh, that's mainly your singing room then. Yeah. Right, right, right. What do you keep in the fridge? Ovens. Obviously. That's where they live. Yeah. My six ovens are stored in my fridge.
00:42:03
Speaker
It's a very confusing heat. Yeah. Oh, they don't work. They don't work. So, yeah. Constant battle. Yep. It's just lukewarm in there. Yeah, I can't really compete at all with the coils, but that's what I was raised with. And I don't really know anything else. Why? What do you keep in your fridge?
00:42:30
Speaker
My answer for everything is just bananas. Bananas. Yep. What's a good cure for hiccups, Kate? Farting. Oh. In my mouth. I'm really just, I'm not letting myself think. No, I'm gonna really enjoy listening to this one on the way back.
00:42:52
Speaker
Yes, but a good old fart in the mouth solves my hiccups. You heard it here first, guys. I'm going to sell that. I'm going to become a life coach. Pesky hiccups keep in hootown, find a friend to fart in your mouth. Stranger farts are better, but it's hard to get a stranger to be comfortable doing that.
00:43:19
Speaker
because we've got to be like pants down. I mean, underwear is okay, but it depends. Oh, like really like bareback, you know? Yeah. Wow. I just know it works. I'm just imagining someone farting into your mouth and I can't get the image out of my head. Yeah, me too.
00:43:50
Speaker
It's like no one in particular, but it is just a butt. Same. I'm going to give you quite a little bit. Let's move on. What are hammers used for? Hammers are used for making omelets. Smashing the eggs. They're too hard otherwise.
00:44:21
Speaker
And like just in case there's a chicken forming in there, that's how you have to make sure it's dead. Okay. Fair enough. Cool. Yeah. Who's a good boy? Me. I'm a good boy. Such a good boy. What would you say is the best place for a first date?
00:44:49
Speaker
Well, now I can't even say, because we talked about all of the good ones, probably the psych ward of the level one trauma center downtown that focuses primarily on gunshot wounds. They also have a psych ward.
00:45:05
Speaker
And, you know, it's my understanding, I haven't been able to get in the wait list is way too long for reservation. And I think you also have to like, basically, you know, talk to someone first and get assessed, and then they decide whether you're worthy. But then it's like a 72 hour date, right? And so you really get a lot of time to know the person. But it's my understanding that there's like some fun little like couples games, like,
00:45:30
Speaker
try these random pills and see what happens and like answer some questions about your likes and dislikes and things that scare you. And like, um, there's hallways that just have bedrooms with other couples in them. And you know, sometimes you can hear lots of noises. You know, it sounds like screaming and crying, but it's actually just them having a really good time. So highly rare. I've heard so many good things.
00:45:59
Speaker
Well, sign me up because that sounds delightful. Do you guys think you're there as well? Yep. I heard it's excellent and you basically don't get any utensils, so you have to do the fun eat with your hands, which can be really cute.
00:46:13
Speaker
You want to be cute and so you're eating like yourselves for your steak. Eating each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's like, you know, mandatory quiet hours and you know, lights out and then the staff will come and make sure you're having a good time by checking on you every hour.
00:46:28
Speaker
Oh, that's really nice of them. That's really tentative and like, you know, makes you feel really looked after and I love that. I love that. The downside is if you're not having a really great time, you have to wait until the end of the.
Humor in Surreal Dating Experiences
00:46:44
Speaker
date the full 72 hours, but like I think, you know, they're willing to work through the issues with you in like a group setting if you need to. Oh, that's good. So you can just go to my share your feelings and, you know, your grievances with this person. Yep. 72 hours. Yep. Yeah. Sounds good. Sounds good.
00:47:06
Speaker
I know it wouldn't be first dates for us, but I, you know, I don't think they need to know that. No, we can still take them there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Fun, yeah. I like it. It should actually be a thing. Okay, who should play me in a movie about my life? The dog that played Air Bud.
00:47:35
Speaker
in the soccer version. I don't remember what one that was. Oh, okay. So there's a movie called Air Bud and it's about a golden retriever that plays basketball, but they made some later ones and I think he plays soccer in one. That dog. He's very cute and a good boy. How should you act during a job interview?
00:48:00
Speaker
Well, I think you should wear your best balaclava, you know, the ski mask goes without saying.
00:48:07
Speaker
Yeah, and if you can invent your own language and speak primarily in that language, I think it'll not only show you're mysterious, first of all, because balaclava, but also creative. And if they ask you questions, just don't respond. I mean, if you need to be sure to use your language, but ideally you don't say anything and you just give them the most intense stare,
00:48:35
Speaker
but then also drool a little bit. So kind of letting them work out for themselves, what your answer would be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Cool. Okay. Okay. Noted. That's the preference for sure. I think the second one is just show up very, very, very, very drunk.
00:48:52
Speaker
And late. And late. Maybe just drive the car right into the building. Shows how much you want it. Hey, listen to this. The other day, I wasn't here. Thank God. But, uh, old Keith came home and like quite late at night after being out somewhere and there was someone parked outside the front of the house in a van wearing a full like
00:49:20
Speaker
Freddy Krueger, you know, the white mask? The scream mask? No, it's... Is it Freddy Krueger? Well, Freddy Krueger is like the guy with the scary one, isn't he? Oh, it's not him. No. Are you sure it's not the mask from Scream? That's kind of like the art from... No. Okay. Oh, Jason. Yes. Like the Halloween movies. Yes.
00:49:48
Speaker
Yes. Like the hockey mask thing. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, hockey mask. Who's that? Hockey? Yeah. Yeah. Jason? Yeah. Okay. It is Jason. So I think there, I thought there was another one with a white mask, but yeah. Yeah. So apparently he was, um, yeah, just outside in the car, out the front really late, in the van rather, just wearing this fucking mask.
00:50:17
Speaker
Was he looking at like your place or staring like forward or? Oh yeah, it was just parked outside. So yeah, Keith said it was like, you know, you just get a really weird fucking vibe and you're like, something doesn't feel right. So we like bolted all the doors and stuff and made sure he knew that there was a big dog inside. Maybe a couple, just like barking. You're just barking in the background too.
00:50:44
Speaker
So a wrong answer only to this is go up and offer, would you like some pie? Yeah. You want to come inside? Let me show you where all the keys and stuff are hidden. All the valuables are what time we go to bed. Who's the deep sleeper that you can maybe get away with murdering last. Yeah. Um, this is how you bribe the dogs. So they don't kill you. And this is where I keep all my jewelry. Yeah.
00:51:11
Speaker
What should I make for dinner tonight? Shrooms with a side of aluminum foil. Aluminum foil, excuse me. The thought of chewing on that has just made my teeth get really weird. Doesn't that sound yummy? So nice. I love foil.
00:51:31
Speaker
If you save the foil for after you already are kind of starting to feel the psychedelic mushrooms, you're going to have a really good time. Or horrible time. Yeah, that will go one of two ways. Actually, I don't think it will. I think it'll be very unpleasant. Yeah, it's going to be a horrible time. Yeah, I don't like it. No. So do you think you're going to make that for dinner? Yeah, of course. You've said it now, so it's happening.
00:51:56
Speaker
According to Mary Poppins, Kate, what makes the medicine go down? Mmm, butt stuff. It does, yeah. Good measure of butt stuff makes the medicine go down. A good measure. Spoonful of butt stuff doesn't make sense, so... A spoonful of butt stuff?
00:52:25
Speaker
Brilliant. What's the national anthem of France? I'm pretty sure it is Baby Shark. Yeah, it's definitely that. Yeah.
00:52:46
Speaker
Now you say it, it's ringing all kinds of bells. I mean, that's why it got so popular because didn't France win a sports event and they played that a lot and kids everywhere were like, that's fucking dope. Yeah. Mom. Yeah. Baby Shark Song. National Anthem of France. Porfavor. Cebu Play. Whatever. Yeah. Oh, great. Okay, a few more.
00:53:15
Speaker
What do farmers use to plow their fields? Um, pretty sure. I don't know cause I don't have a lot of experience, but I'm pretty sure it's like the femur bone of their enemies because all farmers are also, they, they have enemies that part of their life's mission is to murder, to get their femur bones because they're very dense and long. So they can just, you know,
00:53:44
Speaker
whether they hook it up to their donkey or have a machine or they do it by hand, you can do some really nice even rows when you're plowing with those. I believe that's how they did it in, you know, it started in the middle ages and to this day, femas aren't used. Why change something that works really well? Oh, exactly. The only downside is if your enemy happens to be like a very short person or a child,
00:54:12
Speaker
It's going to take a lot longer. Yeah. Double the effort. Yeah. Um, what are the five senses? The five senses are hand jobs. And I don't mean like necessarily sexual, like, you know, just like hand stuff, right? Most of it's sexual. Um, then like telekinesis. Yeah.
00:54:41
Speaker
Obviously. The power of like x-ray vision, but only the ability to kind of like see really boring stuff. Like I can see into your bag that you've got some tampons. Like, so we have, you got the hand stuff, you got telekinesis, we've got x-ray vision, boring stuff. And then we have like the,
00:55:09
Speaker
I mean, naturally scent, but scent of a woman. Okay. And then like... Like pheromones. Yeah, you know, but just exclusively women. And then we've got like the sensation of chewing on aluminum foil. I think that's five. Stop bringing that up. No, I won't. That is the five senses.
00:55:37
Speaker
Do you like how I kind of associated it with the actual sentence? I mean, it's difficult to not, isn't it? Yeah. I'm just like, uh, goosebumps. What? When you get prickly hair after being cold and you just shaved and it's really annoying because you spent all that time doing it and now your hair is back because you had a shiver. Because you had a shiver. It just goes blank. Yeah. Is that just me? Am I the only one? No, it's me as well. Okay, good.
00:56:07
Speaker
Like I step out of the shower and immediately cold, and I'm like, no! No, I've got hairy legs again! Yes! It just immediately grows back. Yeah, it's not the five o'clock shadow for me, it's just the five minute shadow. Yep. Yeah, annoying. Super. Do you know who painted the Mona Lisa? Donald Trump. Ah, yes. I wondered if he liked painting. I think the primary, like,
00:56:39
Speaker
Medium was his, what was it his diaper though? So just basically shit. Explained a lot. Um, can you tell me why Australia is known as the land down under? Well, again, I said it's the Texas of the UK. So, uh, yeah, it's Texas pretty much and Texas is down and
00:57:07
Speaker
Basically the seedy underbelly. Yeah. Yeah. So. This ain't two horses. It's the land down under. Said by the great Beyonce. The great late Beyonce. She's not dead yet. Correct. Okay. Finally, can you name some of Henry VIII's wives? Yes. So there's Tabitha.
00:57:36
Speaker
Mm. And then also Harriet the spy. I think he was also married. Yeah, you know, that one was weird when she was like a kid, but he was kind of a dick, right?
00:57:50
Speaker
Pretty sure Mary Poppins also had like a little trust with him. Yeah, I think she was one of the ones who didn't get murdered though. The dog from Air Bud. That was some of them, right? How many were there? 12, 14? Oh, I don't fucking know, to be honest.
00:58:09
Speaker
And then last but not least, RuPaul. Oh! Yeah. That's where he came from. Yeah, that's how you gotta start. That's how you gotta start. The days of Henry VIII. Yeah. Looks great, right? Does look good. He does look good. Let me see your surgeon, please, Sarah. Great. Just really good skincare, that's all. I went into... I was listening to a podcast about Ozempic earlier.
00:58:38
Speaker
It was really interesting because it's a guy that has taken it and has really thoroughly researched it and spoken to scientists and so he's written a book as well about it and he's lost a load of weight, he's lost three stone. Is that why he did it or is he diabetic? No, he did it to lose weight. Okay. But to also like run an experiment on himself. Oh.
00:59:06
Speaker
Um, and yeah, that, you know, there's, there's benefits and negatives to it and people seem to have different reactions, but he mentioned Ozempic face and like how some people are like now like super gaunt and like their face just like drops and they look like celebrities. And then I started Googling celebrities that have got Ozempic face and went like, all right, old. Rabbit help. Scott Disick.
00:59:35
Speaker
Really? Jessica Simpson. Okay, yeah. Shout Osborne. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I can, yeah. Yeah, I was like, fuck, didn't know that was a thing, but be careful. Forget too skinny, you're gonna look like a skeleton.
00:59:52
Speaker
Did he say like, what's the cause of it? Because I guess I always thought it was just like, if you had like lost a lot of weight in your face, you're going to have that extra skin. Right. And so that's why like you lose weight. People are like, now I look old because like that fat was filling out your face and giving you a more youthful appearance. So, but is there something else about Ozepic that like, it's just, it's actually. No, I think it's just a side effect of losing a shitload of weight really quickly. You know? Yeah.
01:00:22
Speaker
Um, yeah, I thought that was interesting. That is interesting. Well, I guess if you're going to do Ozumpik, be prepared for that and be prepared for getting into that plastic surgeon to cut that off. Cause I'm pretty sure how they do it is they, they literally just take some either rusty old scissors or kids scissors and they just kind of hack it. And then what they do is they like peel it up and like shift it. And then they just kind of like staple it.
01:00:50
Speaker
It's pretty much what they do to be fair. The tools might not be accurate, but yeah, that is what they do. They might actually stuff some cotton in there too to help just fill out portions. That's what fillers are. Yeah. No, fillers actually, I think some sort of hyaluronic acid or something like that. Not actually. Yeah, I think so.
01:01:18
Speaker
some sort of liquid chemical that dissipates, right? And it also isn't going to- Where does it go though? What? Where does it go? Well, they can put it wherever and then they kind of manipulate it to be- Like Play-Doh.
01:01:37
Speaker
Yeah, a little bit because I think it's got a thicker viscosity than just straight liquid. So you can put it in and then kind of just push it so you needed to do it here. So every morning, you could just be like, oh, I feel this. I think it does solidify, but after you get filler, it is recommended that you don't immediately sleep on your face. Sleep on your face, yeah. Is it the same with Botox as well?
01:02:02
Speaker
I think you have to wait. They recommend waiting a couple hours before taking a nap, exercising, wearing a hat, touching your face a bunch.
01:02:12
Speaker
I would accidentally do all of those things. Yeah. Yeah. Well, on that note. Did you like my wrong answers?
Wrong Answers Game
01:02:20
Speaker
I did. Yeah. They were very funny. You made me cry. So well done. Yay. That's always my goal. It's not through laughing. It's going to be through sadness. One or the other is fine. Mm-hmm. Crying's crying in the end. But yeah, that was fun. Thank you. You're welcome.
Listener Engagement and Contact Info
01:02:38
Speaker
I enjoyed it very much. If anyone wants to
01:02:42
Speaker
send in some more wrong answer questions, wrong answers only questions rather, then get in touch by going online and going to social media and finding us at tsybpod and also you can send an email which is like a letter but it's electronic and you can
01:03:06
Speaker
send that to talkshittousatgmail.com and we'll look at that and read it and potentially read it out and you might be like semi-famous because we have at least 40 people that listen to this every week. Or 10 people who download on various platforms. I may download it on a few platforms just to get the numbers up.
01:03:30
Speaker
Turns out only you and I. We also have, because we haven't checked it in a while.
01:03:40
Speaker
We have an email that we are going to save for next time. Hey, your face. Oh, you missed it. There was a, there was a dog. Damn it. How does it do it? Why when we got the balloons, we have an email. Yay. To the person who wrote in, we will read it next time and very sorry that we haven't seen it until now because.
01:04:00
Speaker
We both got really bad about checking it, but we are going to check it. Don't let this deter you from sending us in something, but we have an email that we're gonna be next time. Stay tuned for that and come back for more. Thank you for listening, really appreciate it. Give us a like, a follow, and please do subscribe because it really helps the podcast and helps other people find it and stuff and things. So that'd be really great if you could do that. And you love us, so love us harder.
01:04:30
Speaker
Love is harder. I want you to squeeze me until my juices come out. Good to see you and you. Goodbye.