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62. Trumps Slime Pond
66 Plays9 months ago
This week we're talking about the US election result, trying out old Dutch words for a 'lady garden', an Am I The Ass**** and we help an actual listener with a dilemma!!!
Send in your questions, opinions and dilemmas to TalkShitToUs@gmail.com or @TSYBPOD on socials!
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Transcript
Introduction and Mood Setting
00:00:16
Speaker
katherine Hello Hello Gemma. Here we are, back once again for the Renegade Master. damage up power to the people I was just gonna say, given the vibe we had on our little pre-record sesh, we need like a sadder version of her music, but maybe not. She'd us up again.
00:00:43
Speaker
Yep, just hearing it got me all jazzed and vibed and good to go. Oh, yeah, baby.
Personal Challenges and Resilience
00:00:51
Speaker
Yeah, sorry for the delay, everyone. In our episodes, life happened again.
00:00:59
Speaker
um And my dog died, basically, so I've been depressed and grieving and couldn't face recording. So I'm still those things, but just a little bit better now. So that's why. just Thank you. Sorry, bye.
00:01:18
Speaker
a little more resilient. Yeah, and I know you know. that I know how hard it is and I am sorry. um And that's okay. I think if anything, we've kind of conveyed in this podcast that you do what you can with what you have. And so that's what we've tried to do. I mean, I think even in discussions about restarting, I needed a minute given some of the recent happenings in my world.
00:01:51
Speaker
ah So yeah, a little grace for people is what is necessary. And I don't think this world has enough of it. Hell yeah. Well said. Aside from that very difficult thing, how how have you been?
00:02:14
Speaker
ah I don't know really. I'm fucking busy.
00:02:22
Speaker
ah And my my brain isn't working currently, so I don't really know. How are you? Same, I feel like just very much going through the motions but also like avoiding things. I've gotten very adept at being like, I just don't feel like nor have the capacity to do that right now. So I'm gonna say no to things I normally would say yes to because I enjoy them, not necessarily out of obligation. No surprise. I think that's healthy though as well. you know yeah Saying no to more shit to take care of your own stuff.
00:03:02
Speaker
yeah I agree. I think you can get into a pattern though, especially if you're starting to isolate, which I mean, I have no surprise. I've been playing a lot of video games still. It's nice to check out with those very easy to check out with video games.
00:03:16
Speaker
he really good at them though I'm so good at video games. I don't say that about myself a lot about most things, but I'm very good at video games. I'm loving this you.
00:03:33
Speaker
Yeah. um Well, I think we could probably, you know.
Transatlantic Recording Challenges
00:03:39
Speaker
say that we're here today and we will continue to have the goal of recording, but again, there might be gaps, there might be breaks and um that doesn't mean we're gone. It just means we're having to deal with shit and life. and um you know As you guys all know, I'm in America and Gemma's in England and There's a big time difference and that's hard with schedules. So we're doing our best okay. We're trying our hardest. I mean, we were, so yeah, we but god i can't talk we were going to do a pre-election episode.
00:04:20
Speaker
ah But we didn't. Now we know the result of said US election.
Election Results and Political Climate
00:04:28
Speaker
you And that orange faced baboon has won by quite some numbers, I will say. It's quite shocking. pretty i I would describe it as a landslide. I think that's how others are describing it, so I'm not gonna argue with you there. Yeah. So that's fucked, but um how we how how are you feeling? How's the vibe in America or you know wait where you are at least?
00:05:06
Speaker
So. I think we talked, well, we talked a lot about how I'm feeling and my concerns about this election over the last few months and how I was kind of like feeling really anxious and kind of despondent over it. And then maybe like, okay, maybe, maybe I don't need to. And then kind of back again. And I think that by the time election day rolled around, I expected Trump to win. I did. I, yes, I, and I think that's because of who I am as a person and really having,
00:05:36
Speaker
like preparing for the worst, having low expectations because then it's you you can kind of manage it or or at least yeah like that the dismay or shock and just like not being prepared to me is worse than having what you anticipated come true, even if it's not what you wanted. I think there was a very small part of me in the back of my brain that was like, I could be wrong and I hope I'm wrong, but I really didn't allow myself to explore that. But I have friends who have said, I need to have hope.
00:06:07
Speaker
in order to go on, and I can totally respect that too, and I wish that like that worked for me, but it doesn't. um I think what surprised me is the the numbers that it wasn't close, and like it if anything, it was clear it just reinforced what I already knew about this country.
00:06:29
Speaker
is that we're horrible. We're horrible, horrible, horrible, selfish people who care more about the price of eggs than humanity.
00:06:41
Speaker
so And I think one thing that I struggled with as I've talked about is like I was not like full 100% positive love, you know, the current administration or some of the things that Harris kind of said and the things she didn't say I needed her. And so like there was a whole group of movement of people who said like we won't vote if
00:07:13
Speaker
genocide continues and these certain things continue into a Harris administration, we we would not, we'll just not vote. And so when I was seeing after the election, kind of some people are like, something's fishy here. How do we have like turnout voter registration? And yet the numbers are so different than they were in 2020 when we also had turnout. And I was like, people told us they were not going to vote. I think it sounds like 40 million people didn't vote or something, isn't it?
00:07:42
Speaker
they didn't like they vote like because the other confusion was how did we lose the presidential election in certain states but they voted for a democratic governor for democratic policies to be passed and put into law and I was like because they didn't vote for president and they voted for everything ish submitted a vote for everything else on the ballot it's not really that difficult and people who went to only vote for president and nothing else. So we had a bunch of Trump voters who just went to vote for Trump and ignored everything else on the ballot. And we had a bunch of people who are liberal, Democrats, whatever, who did not want Trump to win, but did not vote for president and voted for everything else down ballot. And so to me, the numbers don't necessarily suggest there's something like untoward.
00:08:24
Speaker
or fraudulent or something happening. But I also don't know enough about that. I just like when people are acting really shocked. I was just thinking to myself, well, we knew people were telling us they weren't going to vote if this is what the platform was going to be. So.
Media Influence and Voter Dynamics
00:08:44
Speaker
Yeah, and it's it's not surprising, you know, it's
00:08:50
Speaker
I mean ah Kamala was the the lesser of two evils but as we've spoken about before she's you know had some made some dodgy decisions in the past and yeah and also this funny I was talking to Charlie about it before it all happened and she was like
00:09:16
Speaker
Like, the only thing she's talking about is the abortion thing. Like, I have no idea what her other policies are, what else she stands for.
00:09:28
Speaker
You know, it it it was kind of a... Yeah, I mean, there may have been more information in your guys' news and stuff, and obviously we didn't delve that deep into it, but...
00:09:42
Speaker
the talking points were about abortion and, you know, immigration and patients eating pets. And yeah, there were these certain things that I think continually were reiterated throughout the campaign. Yeah. And I think the issue we have, even if, even with Trump, like he's a Arguably a horrible person. He's a convicted rapist and... He's a convicted felon, but guilty civilly of sexual assault. I think that he wasn't convicted of rape, but yeah. Okay. Yeah. But he's very charismatic. No, he's not. Disagree.
00:10:29
Speaker
I mean, have you seen some of the rallies where he- Up to other people. Oh yeah, where he stood there for like 40 minutes just listening to music. He's not. I think that, I don't think charisma is like, some people might think that, but I don't think charisma is the thing that got him either, you know? But sorry, go on. So I was listening to a podcast with a guy, can't remember his name, so that's not helpful. He was a, you know, staunch Harris supporter.
00:10:59
Speaker
Um, and they were talking about the election. It was all before it happened. And, you know, he was going to bet a shitload of money on Harris winning. But they were talking about Trump and they were saying that, um, you know, like he, he's been on a real media campaign. He's gone on all these huge podcasts. He went on Joe Rogan, who has a fucking huge following. He went to McDonald's. He went to McDonald's. Yeah. He got in a garbage truck. Um,
00:11:28
Speaker
And so he he's a TV personality, that whether you like him or not, he was constantly in people's faces. And um and the other person on the podcast said like, um I've got a female friend who,
00:11:48
Speaker
Again, you know, voting for Harris um obviously hates Trump, but but she watched the Joe Rogan full interview with Trump and he said, you know, I asked her what she thought about it afterwards.
00:12:07
Speaker
And she was like, obviously, I hate the guy, but but I'm not going to lie, I laughed out loud like four times at stuff he said because he is funny at points. So even someone who hates him and dislikes everything about him still found something funny that he said, whether it was she was laughing at him or with him. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I think that speaks volumes as to
00:12:36
Speaker
top 10,000 steps. You know, that people, how have I done it? I've been sitting down. um Yeah, and they also made a really interesting point and that the
00:12:56
Speaker
The Democrats failed to catch the attention of young men. No, Trump got that. Trump got that. But they didn't put any effort into trying to capture that audience. and So obviously who are they're going to go to, they're going to vote for Trump.
00:13:19
Speaker
And they made it quite an interesting point, which I think will lead us on to something else of, he said, what they should have said was if Trump gets in and, you know, removes all these rights for women's bodies and abortion laws, then you are not going to have sex anymore.
00:13:44
Speaker
So it's in your best interest to keep these laws and rights for women going. And lo and behold, we now see this 4B movement. Yeah. i Before we get into that, I've been thinking a lot about this too. um there It seems to me like young men and maybe older men too, it's almost a response to what they perceive to be this threat to their manhood.
00:14:20
Speaker
or and like Because you know we've talked about toxic masculinity, we've talked about you know kind of the issues there in the patriarchy, and i think I wonder if there was like met white men in particular who were starting to feel more threatened than normal that their way of life that they believe is the best way which places white men and men kind of at the top of the hierarchy is being threatened and so the response became overwhelmingly like yeah I'm feeling really marginalized because women
00:14:55
Speaker
you know don't like when I catch cat call them or something, I'm kind of simplifying it. almost this like It's kind of like when when we have a feminist being called a man-hater in this like theory of misandry, which is like hatred towards men and thinking it's hatred towards men and not hatred towards the system that has been put in place that benefits men to the you know detriment of women.
00:15:20
Speaker
and confusing those things and like Andrew Tate and all of that. And I think some of the things that I've seen online now in response where it's like, haha, your body my choice, fuck you. Like it's so gross. And then also, I don't know if you saw like around the country, black and brown, like black people are getting these texts that are like, you have been selected to report to the nearest plantation.
00:15:44
Speaker
And like, yeah, yeah, just like instantly. He hasn't even taken office yet and the shit's happening. yeah So it's really, I think goes to show our country hates women. Our country hates anybody who's not white. And that is, I think where I am sitting and just reflecting. I'm like, I knew this, but also I didn't realize it was like this bad. yeah Like i I really, I really had hoped secretly in the back of my mind that While there are people out there like that, there were more people who weren't. And i I still like to think there is. And just hopefully a lot of them just didn't vote. Yeah, for reasons that I get, I get it. I think we, you know.
00:16:36
Speaker
I don't know. It's difficult. We can't. Well, it's really hard to be like, I hate everything about Trump. Therefore I will vote for Harris when I also hate murdering of children. You know, like I get that dilemma and I think I honestly, I could be wrong here, but just based on the people I've talked to who kind of made the decision to not vote for that particular race.
00:16:59
Speaker
I think they maybe had a secret hope too that like it would they they they voted their values but there would still be enough people to kind of like push Harris across the finish line and that they could still honor their values and their beliefs without guilt about basically endorsing genocide they didn't yeah yeah I get it yeah I get it um but now look what's happened yeah
00:17:31
Speaker
Yeah.
Misconceptions of Political Impact
00:17:32
Speaker
The other thing that I think about it too is there is this um sense of, well, this wouldn't happen to me or those I care about. So like I won't name names, but I'm aware of conversations people are having with their family members who support Trump and how you know Well, I hope I don't get pregnant and then have a miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy that but requires me to have to go to an entirely different state to get care or or I'll die. and The response is, well, that won't happen to you. Yes, it will though.
00:18:10
Speaker
yeah Yes, it will. No, no, because I'll take you to the hospital and you'll get the care you need. No, that won't happen. And this belief that it's not going to impact them or the people they care about. And so like, you know, we talked about Project 2025 briefly, and there was some conversation about People who aren't natural born citizens are going to be deported. Well, that would be Nigel. And while I'm not at this point concerned about Nigel's ability to live in the country and remain a citizen,
00:18:43
Speaker
If it so happens that that is something this administration does and he is at risk, not that I'm, you know, I mean, it's not like he would have to go back to a place where he had to flee because of war or persecution or threat of death. um for My friends and family who voted for Trump did that.
00:19:05
Speaker
to him. And it just it's like, well, I didn't think it would happen to people I know or care about. well So why are you voting for things that don't impact you or people you care about that literally have no bearing on your life, first of all? And second of all, then like why do you hate people so much that even people you don't know, like these horrible things could happen to you? Exactly. Even if it couldn't affect you, it's affecting a huge number of people.
00:19:35
Speaker
in a way that you wouldn't want to happen to you or people you care about. Exactly. And like the whole, like I've heard stories of, you know, even doctors are scared to give certain treatments to women in these States because they're scared, they're going to get prosecuted for it. So even the people that can help are scared to do that now.
00:20:04
Speaker
which is ultimately going to affect and lose lives. So it could happen to you if you're in one of those affected areas. like It's a really small-minded way to think about it. If you're thinking, oh, that won't affect me. Well, it might affect your friend. It might affect one of your family members.
00:20:29
Speaker
him And also, ah eggs and bread aren't going to get cheaper. new like I've read a lot about people who were like, well, the tariffs are going to you know charge other countries. No, actually, it's impacting us. It's going to impact us. So you just voted.
00:20:47
Speaker
against your interests on something because you weren't informed and you listened just full bore believed a hundred percent that this person who doesn't know what he's talking about is telling the truth and now he's gonna do all of these things that actually only benefit the wealthy yeah and his cronies and not middle America which you know they and I agree like the Democrats the Democratic Party is out of touch with a lot of people including the the working class and the lower middle class and all of that. and middle so like I get it, and the young men, but like people still voted for something that actually is going to impact them negatively in a way that they think isn't going to happen.
00:21:30
Speaker
and so Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. That's what's so upsetting, I think. And not that I think things were going to be sunshine and rainbows if Harris won. If anything, I was like, well, there might be an opportunity to pressure her to do things like stop contributing to genocide and and all of these things.
00:21:57
Speaker
um so Yeah. yeah and i think um
00:22:04
Speaker
I think it's got to a point now where people are so sick of the way things have been for so long that they just kind of wanted change regardless of what that meant. if you know They just wanted to shake the system up. So even if, you know, Trump is saying all this crazy ass fucking batshit stuff, they still just wanted some sort of change and the democrats need to look at that and take note of that because look what's happened again yeah but also as well if you look at actually the the financial position of america i know the everyday people
00:22:58
Speaker
probably don't feel it because of inflation and da, da, da, da. But actually the country is in a much better position under Biden's presidency than it ever was when Trump was in. But for some reason they've got this kind of rose tinted view that everything was incredible when Trump, I don't know why or how they're thinking that and that it's going to happen again. And it didn't like, as you say, he's he's just going to impose, um,
00:23:30
Speaker
things that help the the wealthy people and not the working class. He doesn't give a shit about the working class. mouth sorry it yeah it' If they'd actually done their own research and looked into how the country is performing and how the currency is performing in GDP, and then you would have seen that actually you're in a pretty good fucking position.
00:23:52
Speaker
um It's just not rolled down to the everyday working people yet. What's the reaction there to this? I'm just curious.
00:24:05
Speaker
ah just kind of
00:24:08
Speaker
I mean, the media is like disbelief, you know, it's it's looks reports about how this is going to affect Europe and the UK's relationship with America and will Kia Sarma be able to build a relationship with Trump? I can't even imagine them two meeting, to be honest, like, yeah sort of timid humanitarian going to this orange Donald Trump. Like, yeah, have no idea how that's going to go. Did you see the clip about the parliament in Scotland and one of the you know members basically criticizing the first minister for saying like congrats on your win Donald and he's like I as first minister of Scotland have a duty to like ensure
00:25:00
Speaker
the social cultural financial ties that we have with the US remain intact for Scotland's best
International Reactions to US Politics
00:25:06
Speaker
interests. and so like On one hand, I get that they're like it's probably just standard to say anytime there's a new president, but also it was like, congrats to convicted felon, Donald Trump. and yeah and so and I was just like, yeah, I could totally understand if all of our allies were like, well,
00:25:26
Speaker
Good luck America. Sorry. but we we and then We wouldn't and we couldn't because if all of you did it or country only because we have the backing of all these countries of all of the countries who are our allies and you know kind of are tried to maintain relationships with us banded together.
00:25:43
Speaker
with each other and not the, you I mean, I think that would have an impact, but unfortunately it's like thinking about it singularly. Like if England did it, kind of like wouldn't really have a big impact except for on England. So if we all pull together, uh, but then it probably Newcastle, wouldn't it? Well, yeah, I don't know. Um, but yeah, the four B movement.
Exploration of the 4B Movement
00:26:11
Speaker
Hmm. Yeah, so um going back to, see well, you're not going to have sex now. So you're going to have a vest, you should have a vested interest in ensuring kind of the bodily autonomy of women. hu And exact from what I know, this been my body, sorry, your body, my choice.
00:26:38
Speaker
And now women are turning around. So it was originally a movement in Korea, korea South Korea. yeah south korea um and So women are saying, well, if that's the rules, then I will not be having any casual sex. I will not be dating.
00:26:58
Speaker
i um
00:27:02
Speaker
um abstaining from yeah not giving birth, not getting married, which,
00:27:13
Speaker
you know, don't blame him. If I was living in America and I was single, I'd be doing the fucking same. yeah because they don't feel safe. But what I do, I am concerned about is that that is going to piss off the men even more and sexual assaults may increase. And not get prosecuted. That's my thought too. Yeah. So maybe just lock yourselves away for four years. Let's create a ah convent for single women.
00:27:55
Speaker
I wish that, I mean, I think, I don't know. I keep wanting to say things like that won't happen. It would have an effect, but honestly, I don't know anymore. I don't know. And also, I don't think we could get enough women to collectively band together to do it, to have an impact, to be honest.
00:28:21
Speaker
I think you'd be surprised.
00:28:24
Speaker
We've seen what, you know, the algorithms can do for hate speech and, you know, awful things like that. So maybe social media can be used for some good. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Me neither. What a shit show! Truly.
00:28:53
Speaker
Well, yeah it's four years, okay? You can get through this. um The last four years I aged me so much. At least he can't run again.
00:29:06
Speaker
you know i I said this to a couple of days before the election, a couple of friends of mine. and I was like, this is I don't mean this, but I did allow myself the thought of I almost just wish he had won last time so that we wouldn't be dealing with it now. But then who knows what would have come of that during that administration and then like the subsequent people running after that. it could be i Honestly, i yeah, there's no... but i We wouldn't at least be here right now if you had just won last time.
00:29:36
Speaker
Oh, God. but you know If they take away voting and it becomes a dictatorship, it might not just be four years. I know that's kind of a bit like an extreme view, but i based on some of the things Project 2025 has said and other things. It's like, well, I guess that could be
Political Concerns and Personal Decisions
00:29:58
Speaker
something that could happen. and There's like historians who are going through and pointing out all of the different little things and messaging that has occurred leading up to like dictatorship and fascism. And like, it's like, check, check, check, check, check, check. So. Cool. Yeah. Well, um you know, he is fucking old. So there is, ah you know, an 80% chance that he will die.
00:30:22
Speaker
And then we have JD fucking Vance. Oh, yeah, that's not not as good as that. No. Or maybe Elon Musk. I don't know. Yeah. yeah Well, look, it's shit. um I would suggest moving to Canada or coming to the UK. I think Canada's preparing for that. Probably have an easier pathway with the UK. And at least I know people there. That's true. I'd come and visit more though, if you were in Canada or like Callender. I've never been, but I will see what I can do. Well, there you go. You've never been, so maybe now's the time. Time to move there. I'm going to move to Canada. It's all about Canada.
00:31:08
Speaker
I am in a state that is probably one of the better states to live in right now. Walls is still our governor, um which is not always the case. some Some states would have required him to resign, but he is now back. and Minnesota remains blue, but it's still the metropolitan areas. um We did, in the state, lose the trifecta we had. yeah had the governor We had the um both the House and the Senate um that were blue Democrat for the last few years but now I think it's
00:31:48
Speaker
tied like it's equal in terms of both parties' representation in in Congress. um and The last time this happened was in 1979, and they had to come up with this like power sharing structure agreement, which I didn't read into that too much, so I don't know how it works, but it sounds like because of the tie or like really like not any like not a majority, there is some sort of thing they have to work out in terms of power structure, which is odd to me. That sounds complicated.
00:32:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:22
Speaker
Well, we'll see what happens. Jinks. Yep. Yep. Oh, what are the spares?
Cultural Humor and Language Differences
00:32:33
Speaker
On another note, do you want to hear some um old Dutch words for vaginas? Absolutely.
00:32:46
Speaker
That's just such a fun sounding language. I think you're going to enjoy this. It's disrespectful, but yeah. So I've got the word and then what the word means for you, all right? So the first one is vlis vlinder. Vlis vlinder. Vlis vlinder. Vlis vlinder, okay. Which means meat butterfly.
00:33:17
Speaker
oh That is, in my mind, visually horrifying, but hilarious.
00:33:28
Speaker
Meat better why? Say the word again. Vlisplinda? Vlisplinda. It's nice. Oh, my vlisplinda's angry today.
00:33:48
Speaker
OK, OK, fine. Well, sorry, it's so angry. OK, this next one's difficult to pronounce, so
00:33:59
Speaker
so. Slij um vijva. Slij um vijva. Slij um vijva. The M might be silent, I don't know. um That means slime pond.
00:34:18
Speaker
Oh, my God. Ew. I thought meat butterfly was bad.
00:34:27
Speaker
Oh, my God. And whatever you're looking at or where we got these from, people use these. I think like so, yeah. Like someone is saying they're slime pond and referring referring to their vagina.
00:34:45
Speaker
Hey, do you want to come in my slime pond?
00:34:56
Speaker
ah No, i i i can I can tolerate meat butterfly. I cannot tolerate that one. Okay. I'll take that one off. Okay.
00:35:09
Speaker
um
00:35:13
Speaker
ahbu ah canno okay no I've got into a Spanish accent now, I don't know what's happened. I was going to say it sounds a little Italian. That means gnome canoe.
00:35:29
Speaker
Okay. So then the penis or whatever is a gnome? Yeah. is Nome canoe. That one is less disgusting, but odd how they came to that one. I mean, I've heard, um is it like ferret sleeve? Ferret sleeve. I have not. Okay. So we're just animals and mythical beings are or related to our lady parts now. Okay. I mean, okay.
00:36:09
Speaker
Okay, this one is brugie roast beef. Probably work it out.
00:36:21
Speaker
Something roast beef? Yes, roast beef, sandwich. Okay, so like beef curtains. Sure, sure, so sure. I guess I'm not surprised. Same with meat butterfly. um I, you know, sometimes though, like the English versions of things like that we've called our vagina. I'm like, this just doesn't, like, no wonder we all are insecure about how they look. Exactly. Goodness. Roast beef sandwich. Roast beef sandwich, yeah.
00:36:53
Speaker
um le de gro
00:36:59
Speaker
This one's quite nice oh nice. Oh, is it? Okay. Cause the, the grot. It doesn't. It means love cave. Oh, that's nice. Isn't it? Yeah. That one is nice. I, I just saw the other day or whatever. I don't know. Like club climax was one club climax club. I don't know. Uh, which makes it seem,
00:37:26
Speaker
Like it's always fun and consensual, but, uh, there's like disco halls down there. and ah So say, um, say the Dutch one again. Uh, Leif des Grot. Leif des Grot. Okay. Like grotto, I suppose. Oh yeah, I suppose. Yeah. Hmm.
00:37:47
Speaker
Love grotto. Oh, I love grotto. I love grotto. Yeah. I'm going to start calling it that. Okay. And the last one is... heu
00:38:04
Speaker
whod
00:38:09
Speaker
These are like a lot of big words just to describe. Yeah, they are. They are big words. ah hamil h e and e p double o vt approved proof again The V might be silent. The T might be silent. I don't know. And what is it? Heaven's Gate. Oh, that one's nice if it weren't for also the name of a cult.
00:38:37
Speaker
where people kill themselves. But I get that, they're words. But Heaven's Gate, that's nice too. So the last two are nice ones. lovely Meat butterfly, slime pond, gnome canoe, roast beef sandwich. I could probably do without those. However, Love Cave, that's being added to my...
00:39:01
Speaker
Love cave, baby, love cave, love cave, baby. You wanna come in my slam pond?
00:39:18
Speaker
Sounds horrible. I suppose that would be another way to live the For B movement if that's how you were inviting people. specific That's gonna put anyone off. Yeah. um Nice. Thank you to the Dutch for those. Yes. Thank you, the wonderful Dutch people. I do love the Dutch. I wonder if they have similarly hilarious and horrifying things for penis.
00:39:47
Speaker
Probably. I would hope, but yeah, for next time.
00:39:55
Speaker
You up for an, am I the asshole? You know I am, baby.
00:40:07
Speaker
I'm feeling like particularly like everyone's an asshole though, so. Yeah, I'm with you there. Well, we'll see.
Reddit Scenario Discussion
00:40:17
Speaker
Am I the asshole for punching my ex-husband's new girlfriend for hitting my daughter?
00:40:27
Speaker
Maybe, but maybe not. I'll give you some more context. 23 female. have a six-year-old daughter. I had her at 17 years old, you poor, poor thing, with my ex-husband, Devon. Devon and I got married at 18 and got divorced at 20 years old due to his cheating.
00:40:53
Speaker
um He doesn't have to pay, or sorry, he doesn't pay a dime to financially support our daughter. I am our daughter's full-time caretaker. My ex-husband only sees our daughter once a month. I beg him to spend more time with her, but I shouldn't have to beg him to be a father. He recently got into a new relationship with his new girlfriend, Hayley. Ever since Hayley entered my ex-husband's life, she bashed me. She blamed me for my daughter being autistic. She said my daughter is autistic because I coddle her. I do not coddle my child.
00:41:29
Speaker
Yeah, no, I think research shows that that's exactly how autism works, for sure. I legitimately try my best with the situation I was dealt with. My daughter was diagnosed with autism at four years old. and We have her in speech therapy and behavioral therapy. ah She has a therapist she sees twice a week, and she also has developmental delays. I try to work with her every day on her speech behavior, et cetera.
00:41:58
Speaker
Yesterday, my daughter went to stay the night at her dad's house. Her dad's girlfriend, Hailey, was there. She lives there now. ah My daughter's father called me. He told me to come over and pick up our child because she was upset.
00:42:12
Speaker
I went to go pick her up and I saw she had red marks, welts and bruises all over her legs. I was pissed and asked what happened. My daughter told me that she spilled water on the floor and on the couch. Hailey got mad and hit her with a belt.
00:42:30
Speaker
I rushed into the house. I don't know what came over me. I punched Hayley in the face and beat the shit out of her. I didn't realise until I saw her on the floor. Hayley wanted to press charges on me, but my ex talked her out of it. I went to the police station with my daughter right after and filed a police report. I showed them the bruises, welts and marks, and I pressed charges for child abuse and reported my husband to CPS for child neglect and abuse. I'm still shaken up from the situation.
00:42:58
Speaker
um and I took photos of my daughter's legs and arms. I would never let my daughter go to her dad's ever again. um I beat myself up over this. If I knew that Hailey would hit my child, I wouldn't have let her go over there in the first place. Am I the arsehole?
00:43:17
Speaker
I think think I said this before.
00:43:22
Speaker
And I, but I will start from the premise of don't hit kids. And I know there are here in America, different states and jurisdictions that allow physical punishment under certain circumstances. is' there It's kind of like can't leave a mark, can't, you know, it has like, it really has to be kind of very narrow, like Minnesota, for example. um But also, I think just like the premise of physical discipline can't be from
00:43:55
Speaker
um the motivation of anger. And so she spilled water on the floor on the couch and Haley got mad and then proceeded to get a belt and beat this kid in the legs. So like my instant thought when I heard that was like, I hope someone called CPS because I feel like that would be an investigation and a finding of maltreatment.
00:44:16
Speaker
um because that is there's nothing about that to me that suggests that was appropriate use depending on where they're at. um But I also think like she's an adult, Hayley is. This child's six, and not only six, which is really young, but also has some maybe needs that make it a little bit harder for like this kid probably needs.
00:44:38
Speaker
some special responses in in in order to help her learn and you know kind of respond to and have and and kind of appreciate redirection and um all of that. ah and This isn't one of them. and and I would not blame this woman for not wanting to send this kid over there anymore. I do think that she's going to have our time like saying she's never going to see her dad again. I don't know if that's probably going to be how it shakes out.
00:45:07
Speaker
um But I think that starting from the premise of not hitting kids and also not hitting people in general, like
00:45:17
Speaker
in a way I can kind of understand it was kind of defense, but it's after the fact and it was a reaction out of anger. I don't think that's good rule modeling for the child, but it's understandable. Um, I suspect the X probably convinced Haley not to press charges because he knew what Haley did probably was going to get scrutinized too. Um, but also where the fuck were you dude? Yeah. Like you were just okay with that. and your response isn't to intervene and then call and tell your co-parent, but just come get this kid because she's causing issues in my house. like So like there's a part of me, I don't, asshole's not the right word, but I also don't think like, hitting people unless it's like imminent danger and you need to for self-defense or defense of your child, but I do get it. Like I get it. I can see why this person did it. Haley certainly needed to experience a whooping to know maybe that you shouldn't hit kids. That's not the right way to respond out of anger.
00:46:15
Speaker
ah Yeah, I have conflicted feelings kind of about the overall premise of the question about this person being an asshole, but I think what Haley did was far more fucked up and what mom did was beyond reasonable and understandable under the circumstances. and I also suspect that if she did press charges, the law enforcement and the prosecuting body might also see it the same way and might press charges, might give a plea deal, might be like, well, you did beat this kid in a way that is abusive and neglectful. So you you tell us, do you really want charges pressed here? Yeah. i mean What are your thoughts? Well, ah you know I don't have kids, but if I did and someone did that to my kid, I would, whoop they're asked to. Yeah.
00:47:00
Speaker
um even if they did that to my pet yeah i would see red most likely um yeah you know not condoning violence but fuck you yeah motherfucker i agree um i mean the comments are predominantly not the asshole um This person said not the asshole always report child abuse. The OP said I reported it for sure. Even my mother wanted to go there. And then someone replied, I want to go over there. Someone else. I think we should all go over there. Someone else. We should all really go there. Someone else. Let's go. What time are we meeting? Shall I bring snacks?
00:47:43
Speaker
I do want to point out though, that wasn't the question. Is she an asshole for reporting child abuse? No. The question was, am I the asshole for hitting my ex's girlfriend for hitting my kid? So I'd like them to answer the question. You could answer the question. Let me find someone who answers the question. Not the asshole. It's bad enough that she hit your daughter with a belt. It's even worse that your child's father allowed it to happen and was okay with her beating your child. Fuck that.
00:48:13
Speaker
You have nothing to be guilty of. um If it was okay for her to hit a child, she should have no problem with an adult hitting her. At least the odds were even between you and her. Who beats a child for spilling water? What kind of parent allows their girlfriend to beat their child? Yeah, ah agreed.
00:48:33
Speaker
and Someone else said, you did the right thing. You likely wouldn't get in trouble for defending your daughter. Everything you did was right and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, but get child support and make sure he has no unsupervised custody. Yeah, easier said than done. Unfortunately, yeah.
00:48:56
Speaker
Um, no, I think the thing I'm having a hard time with is the fact that it was so after the fact to be considered defense. I think yeah then that's just like purely legally looking at it. Cause it's not like it was imminent or because she saw it happen or she like intervened. So, but I do think like in a way it is defending, but yeah.
00:49:20
Speaker
Someone else said, not the asshole, love how the girlfriend thinks it's okay to belt a child, but as soon as someone closer to her age beats her, she beats her ass. She wants to call the cops. Yeah, i that's fair. That is a fair point.
00:49:40
Speaker
and Someone else says, see if you can get your ex-husband to confirm what happened via text. Once they find out you've reported Hailey, he may say it never happened, setting something like, um You understand I don't feel comfortable letting Hailey around our daughter after she laid hands on her. Can you promise me you won't let her around her daughter? If he app replies to that, keep him talking as long as you can. Opie said, I have evidence. He messaged me and said, Hailey only hit her because she refused to clean up her water mess. Like, it's water. She wiped it off the floor.
00:50:15
Speaker
So what dad and Haley should have done if they want to raise a child, you know, in that way would be child's name, come here and help me clean this up. Let me show you what we do when this happens because accidents happen sometimes. Sometimes we spill and maybe next time you want water, we'll either put it in a, like a something with a lid or maybe you will keep it in the kitchen. Like, see, not that fucking hard folks. We don't even have kids. Come on.
00:50:46
Speaker
Or, you know, if you're a little frustrated, yeah, but like still.
00:50:52
Speaker
you don't hit kids and you don't hit kids out of anger and you don't hit kids because they spilled something because that's what fucking kids do. I spill shit. I spill shit on myself all the time. Spilling coffee all over my goddamn house. And I was like, oh shit. I got tea stains on my bed because I spilled tea all over my bed the other day, you know? It happens. It does. It sure does. Oh, there we have it. I hate Hailey.
00:51:20
Speaker
I hate Hailey as well and the piece of shit, dad. Yeah. Hailey and Devin can go fuck themselves. Yeah. Fuck you guys. So I, yeah, I think I land on not the asshole, but also just like thinking about what we're role modeling to your kid and the the risks. But certainly I think it's one of those, I think it's Chicago where it's like.
00:51:45
Speaker
It's understandable, understandable it's Yes, it's perfectly understandable. Yeah. yeah well Yeah. But everyone else is. So I need to find somewhere where they are there also, because they're often not there also, aren't they? I think we had, I know we've had one in our history somewhere.
00:52:15
Speaker
Yes, I'll do a little digging. Yeah, I'll see if I can find any good ones, too. If you have any good MI of the assholes where the right OP p is the asshole, yeah send them our way. Or just a story. Or if you want to know if you're the asshole, we'll dish on that.
00:52:31
Speaker
Yeah, send it to talkshit to us at gmail dot.com or... Speaking of, I haven't looked in a while. Sorry, we haven't reported in a while, so if you sent in, that's why, but I will get back on checking. Or you can DM us at talk... Nope, t-s-y-b-pod, that's the one. There we go. We're on... Are we on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok?
00:52:57
Speaker
you know, yeah those kind of places. yes so Yep. So, um yeah. Yeah. Thank you for listening. and if you're a patient We have someone who wrote in. Oh my God. Okay. Someone listens.
00:53:12
Speaker
Um, should I, do you want to do it right now?
Listener Advice and Fetish Dilemma
00:53:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's short. Yeah. All right. It was sent on the 17th. So we probably should. Okay. So this one is titled a fetish dilemma. Hi gals. I wondered if you could help me with some suggestions for how to bring up a sexual fetish when dating.
00:53:33
Speaker
I never really had a long-term partner and I wonder if me not opening up about my fetish causes problems as I have never told anyone that I've been seeing. I find it a bit embarrassing as the fetish is belly buttons. I love having my belly button played with but I also love softly touching and licking others belly buttons. One strange thing I have to contend with is I hate an outie and it would be a deal breaker if someone had one.
00:53:54
Speaker
Do you have any suggestions on how I may subtly determine if someone has an inny or an outy early on in the dating process? In general, though I'm a bit lost in how to how I bring up that I like belly buttons and what I want to do with them once we get in progress. Do you have any advice? Have you ever heard of this fetish before?
00:54:14
Speaker
um No, I haven't. I haven't either, but to be honest, I think that that doesn't really mean anything. but I suspect there's probably many people who share similar feelings. um I think with regards to finding out whether they've got an inny or an outy,
00:54:37
Speaker
you could do that playfully like as in like a jokey sense when you're first talking to someone and dating like it'd just be like just like a question just a random question you know like ah tea or coffee wine or beer in your outie have you got an in your outie yeah just a cheeky little question you know they won't think anything of it Or you could just whip up that top. I don't recommend that option. um Well, I think depending on how the date's going, if you're kind of going through your get to know you questions, right? And you they answer and you know they say, well, it's kind of a little bit of an outie, but you know not like,
00:55:15
Speaker
a real big Audi, then you can be like, oh, show me yours and I'll show you mine. um You know, I think that all is the vibe you're getting on the date, but I i think Gemma, that's a really good idea to just like make it a part of your fun, get to know you questions that you have for people. Keep it cash. With regards to bringing it up, when you're dating,
00:55:40
Speaker
I mean, I'd like to think that if you're with a decent person who you feel comfortable enough to engage in sexual activities with, then hopefully you do feel comfortable enough to just bring up what you're into and see if they are happy to go ahead with that.
00:56:04
Speaker
um I think also exploring them too, to make them like, so it's a mutual thing. You want to be able to please, run our lives and you're with yeah. Yeah. Equally, there's also fetish dating apps now. Yes. I was going to suggest that too. I can't remember the name of it. FetLife and I think there's a couple others. Hmm.
00:56:34
Speaker
um So you could potentially use one of them where I think it's quite upfront from the get-go. what you're into. The whole purpose is being able to be honest about your, yeah sorry, Gemma. It's all right. You carry on. Well, I was just saying, I think the whole purpose of some of those sites is for people to be able to be open about their fetishes and needs and hope so that people can be like, Oh, you know what? That's not my thing, but here's my thing. And I think we could both maybe make each other like,
00:57:06
Speaker
we'll have a really good time. yeah um Because like what you said is something I'm open to and here's what I got. like Just kind of like normal dating apps, right? um But I do think that you do have to be honest about it if it's something that is really important to you and going to like be good like if you're having trouble kind of sexually because you can't explore these things or that's something that really kind of is helpful for you.
00:57:33
Speaker
you do need to be open about it. But of course there's. people who are gonna react and not in a great way and that's okay, but don't like let that don't internalize that because that just means that it's not for that person and that person isn't for you then. yeah um It's not necessarily because of whatever you like or are into is a bad thing or a weird thing, it's not, okay? i just But people be people in sometimes.
00:58:04
Speaker
yep And people are allowed to have boundaries too, right? um I hate my belly button. I'll show you what if you want. but ah But if someone was like, this is what I'm into, I'd be like, OK, go for it. All right, give it a go.
00:58:19
Speaker
Yeah. Yep. um want to clean it so i okay I get it though. It's hard. It's hard to be vulnerable and and honest with people out of fear of how they're going to react. So I think you have to use some of your intuition to figure out, you know, if this is someone that you can talk about it with, but I do think finding out if they have an in ear and out, it can be real easy. yeah So step one, step one done. Well, I hope that helped listener.
00:58:50
Speaker
if you have more questions on that you obviously know how to get a hold of us so please reach out and we can elaborate further and sorry it took us so long to get to it yeah and let us know how it goes and if you find anyone who will pickle your belly button all right well with that maybe until next time until next time thanks for chatting shit with me thanks for crying shit with me crying about shit. My tears aren't shit, it's water.
00:59:28
Speaker
I don't cry shit. Right. See you soon. Who's good talking to you. Bye. And you. Bye.