Transcript
KAFF: but
gemwesty777: Oh, hello there.
KAFF: Whoa!
gemwesty777: and Welcome back to Talking Shit with a Yank and a Brit. Oh, it's starting again.
gemwesty777: Fucking thing.
KAFF: Leave that in for sure. Hi.
gemwesty777: Hello.
KAFF: That was a nice southern accent you had going on there.
gemwesty777: Well, thank you very much, cowboy.
KAFF: Aren't you sweet? You're just a sweet little page. Bless your heart.
gemwesty777: A little peach.
KAFF: How are you?
gemwesty777: I am okay. Thank you very much. You're right.
KAFF: I am also okay because I don't think I will ever be good again.
gemwesty777: Oh, that's very depressing.
KAFF: Yeah, it is, but it's also the reality of our lives, though I've very recently this past weekend and in other, like other recent weeks talked about how my baseline is fine generally. Like I don't often say I'm super great.
gemwesty777: mu good That's good.
KAFF: I'm doing amazingly. I had the greatest time of my life. You know, so you asked me how my trip was and I said, it was fine.
gemwesty777: That's fine.
KAFF: Everything's fine. It's just fine.
gemwesty777: Yeah, it's like how, you know, we say not bad.
KAFF: Yeah, not bad, but not good either.
gemwesty777: No. no
gemwesty777: Just low level depressed.
KAFF: and We want to bring you to our level.
gemwesty777: Anyway, welcome to the podcast everyone. Hope you're having a fantastic week.
gemwesty777: I mean, not fair. We've been at the time that this goes out. It will be the UK election day on the 4th of July.
KAFF: hey Born on the 4th of July, freedom ring.
gemwesty777: Oh, Independence Day. um Um, so hopefully we'll have a new prime minister here. Um, and we've just been ranting about politics, but we're not going to include that in the podcast because you know, we may lose a flu listener, flu listeners, few listeners.
KAFF: i I also think, though, people should know about the fucked up shit going on in our worlds and become aware and vote. I think it's important to do that. Obviously, we're not we don't have an election soon, but it is coming and there are some concerning things happening that you know if you do want to hear about it, if you do want to hear our hot takes on these respective things, let us know and we will be glad to share.
gemwesty777: Yes, registered to vote.
gemwesty777: Yeah. Give us a shout and we'll give you our very uneducated opinions.
KAFF: somewhat educated.
gemwesty777: Although, yeah, some, you know, and more educated than some.
KAFF: Yes, that's right.
gemwesty777: Yes,
KAFF: um But you're going to vote because you think it's important.
gemwesty777: yes I do. And actually, like, I've had arguments with people about this, because they're like, you know, it's people's rights not to vote if they don't want to vote. And I'm like, no! You should vote for what you believe in.
KAFF: I agree. I agree. I feel like I'm a little at a loss about this election, given what you and I talked about off air, but in the past, I've said, if you don't vote, you don't actually get a bitch then.
gemwesty777: Granddad or criminal?
KAFF: I don't want to hear any complaint about whoever is doing what, wherever in office.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: You just don't get a bitch.
gemwesty777: You don't get a say?
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: Well, we'll see how it unfolds, shall we? And when is the US one?
KAFF: I can't wait.
gemwesty777: Do you have a date?
KAFF: Yeah, it's always the second Tuesday in November. um Any sorts of elections?
gemwesty777: Okay.
KAFF: I think that's right. It's in November.
gemwesty777: Cool. Well, you've got a few months then.
KAFF: Yeah, maybe something incredible will happen that will save us.
gemwesty777: You never know. A meteorite.
KAFF: Yes, that's what I'm hoping for.
KAFF: Um, do you want to hear something funny? I didn't, I think I briefly told you, but I want to tell you my saga real quick, if I can.
gemwesty777: Yep.
KAFF: So I am a very prompt person. I like to be on time. I'm hardly ever late for anything. And if I am, it fills me with anxiety.
gemwesty777: How are we friends? I'm late for everything.
KAFF: So I don't mind if other people are late.
gemwesty777: Okay.
KAFF: ah Truly, that's okay. And if it's like a more like, Hey, I'm going to meet up with you for a lunch and coffee, a casual hang that I'm not as like a stickler about either. I probably still will be 15 minutes early, but that's fine. I'll get us a seat. um
KAFF: But ah i I'm not someone who likes to get to like the airport super early. um you know I try to keep it as close as possible while still giving you enough time for any unforeseen circumstances. Well, my flight back from Maine yesterday was out just after 1 .103, and it's a very small airport, so I wasn't like super concerned. I was hoping to maybe get there like an hour or so before um before boarding started anyways, which is at 12 .18. Well, my pal Lauren and I went to get some food before we went and it took an obscenely long time.
KAFF: um It was a great cute place so and kind of didn't really notice or mind until it was like, oh my God, it's like almost noon.
gemwesty777: Mm hmm.
KAFF: Um, I still gotta go pick up my shit. Uh, and so. having been to the main airport. And so as Lauren, you know, kind of being like, it's fine, it doesn't take very long to get through. um Usually security is not that busy. Well, I arrived after boarding time started, and I had a bag to check. And I roll in, hand my ID to the lady at the backdrop, and she looks at it, looks me up, and she just gives me a face of like, What, what do you think you're doing lady? Hmm. This is interesting.
KAFF: And I was like, I know I'm sorry. And she kind of types and she's like, I don't know if I'm going to be able to get you on this plane. And I'm like, really?
gemwesty777: Oh, shit.
KAFF: Oh, okay. Never happened to me before. And she's like, hold on a sec. And so then she, I'm, you know, calling Lauren and I was like, okay.
gemwesty777: How did you feel at this point?
KAFF: Um, I guess I have what I need here for whatever reason for to be here until the next flight, which was Thursday. So it's like, you know, a couple extra days fine. And I'm just like, fuck, this is like not going to be. It's not going to. It's going to suck. It's going to be annoying. It's going to fuck up a few things, but it's not the end of the world. Right.
gemwesty777: Mm -hmm.
KAFF: Lauren, come come back. ah And then the backdrop lady's like, well, I might be able to get you on the plane, but I don't know about your bag because the flights closed.
gemwesty777: Shit.
KAFF: Which makes sense because the boarding starts at 12, 18. They want people to get there an hour before then even.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: so that they can get all the suitcases where they need to go and then they close it.
gemwesty777: Mm.
KAFF: And I'm like, fuck. I was like, okay, well, I can stay until Thursday with my bag or I can hope my bag gets on a plane on Thursday. and there's I have the stuff that I need to do work and whatever with me in my backpack, but you know it's clothes and shit in my checked bag.
gemwesty777: yeah
KAFF: So I was like, okay, what do I do here? And so I'm thinking about this and then the gals like, let me call my supervisor because I don't actually know how it really works if you were to get on the plane and not your bag and what we do with it for that many days.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: And I'm just like, okay, so I guess, I guess I'm staying.
gemwesty777: Got you on my hand?
KAFF: Um, and she calls her supervisor and her supervisor is like, Oh yeah, I'll just, yeah, I'll reopen it real quick. It's fine. And they're like, okay, here's your shit. Go. And I'm like running through the airport. I just got done eating a fuck ton of food.
KAFF: And I'm like, okay, go, go, go. um get through so Get to security. There's no one there. Do my shit. And of course, like coming out, I basically just walked onto the plane. I didn't have to take out anything out of my bag. So this time it's like shoes, laptop, blah, blah, blah. They have to fiddle with my sweater, whatever. And I get through and I run down the steps and I'm running to gate six and I get there and the doors closed and I'm like, so I'm here. Have you?
gemwesty777: let me
KAFF: And they're like, yeah, plane's not here yet. Plane's late. Like you're fine. We haven't even started boarding yet.
gemwesty777: oh You turn around and there's like a hundred people sat behind you.
KAFF: And I was Yeah. Yes. Yep. Yep. And I'm like, they told me I wasn't going to make it. So, okay, thanks.
gemwesty777: oh
KAFF: Go stand over to the side. I'm sweating and out of breath. And I'm just like, that's why it wasn't a big deal, I guess, because the plane actually wasn't even fucking here.
gemwesty777: Oh gosh, they could have told you that.
KAFF: I don't know if they knew because on their end, it's just like flights closed, boardings already started, right?
gemwesty777: Yeah, well actually boarding hadn't even started so they're wrong.
KAFF: No, but the time had passed for boarding to start anyway. And so, I mean, it basically, we were late taking off.
gemwesty777: At least you got a quick workout in.
KAFF: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I mean, had it not been late, I don't know if I would have made it. So, I guess, yay. Or maybe they just all, like, thought it would have been funny to see this happen.
gemwesty777: They're like, it's been a slow morning.
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: Let's make this girl run.
KAFF: Yeah. So that's never happened to me before. It probably never will again, but it was like a fun adrenaline rush.
gemwesty777: Did I tell you about the time we missed our flight to Amsterdam?
KAFF: I don't think so.
gemwesty777: um So we had a really early flight. This was many years ago now. um And we, as as a big group of us, we all,
gemwesty777: decided to go to the airport together so we had to leave at like four o 'clock in the morning to get to the airport on time yeah went to Gatwick and we'd booked the parking that is like a 10 minute coach drive from the airport as well and for some reason we decided to go the long way to Gatwick because if you look at the southeast of England like we're like here
KAFF: Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Gatwick. Mm -hmm.
KAFF: Mm -hmm.
gemwesty777: and you can go sort of cross country to get to Gatwick or you can go back on yourself onto the N25 and go to Gatwick that way. And we thought that would probably be quicker because it's a motorway.
KAFF: Yeah, never is.
gemwesty777: Fucking wasn't. Never is. um So we got there a bit late then realized that obviously we had to park 10 minutes or so away from the airport and get the shuttle bus over to the airport.
KAFF: Which was not going to come for another 20 minutes.
gemwesty777: if you know exactly um and ah yeah we got there um and basically essentially missed our flight and ah we had to all run through the airport like absolute lunatics you know what that looks like they're like oh the gate's 10 miles away so running we've all got backpacks on
KAFF: Mm hmm. But you have to backtrack first and then.
gemwesty777: yeah thank god And we got there and it was, it was, the gate was closed. No people there. Flight had gone that kind of late.
KAFF: Oh, fuck. Yeah.
gemwesty777: So we had to then go through the whole process of going like back through security, which is a right Pallava, let me tell you.
KAFF: all like Yeah, I'm sure. They're just like, whoa, we don't know how to deal with this.
gemwesty777: Well, people are trying to come and back in, what are you doing?
KAFF: This isn't all exit only, exit only.
gemwesty777: um And it was with easy jet, sleazy jet, so obviously we instead of them just popping us on a later flight that we had to pay a shit ton of money to get a later flight. um I can't remember now, but anyway we ended up going back to the car because we had to wait a few hours for our flight and we went back to the car and
KAFF: Whose fault was this? Did you guys all blame one particular person?
gemwesty777: look we were all stoners at the time hence why we were going to Amsterdam so we all just sat in the car and got really high in the airport car park and then nearly missed our second flight because we were so fucking high yeah it's bad we got there in the end we had a lovely of time but hmm it was terrible
KAFF: Obviously, clearly.
KAFF: Oh my God.
KAFF: Great. See, now if I were in that circumstance, probably some anxiety, but also like with a group of people, it's fine. Whatever. It's kind of funny. Sure.
gemwesty777: Hmm.
KAFF: Now, then going and getting stoned and doing it all over again, you guys would have had to put me at the hospital.
gemwesty777: Somebody call an ambulance. I think Kate's having a heart attack.
KAFF: Yeah, yeah, because ah too much internal stimulation and external stimulation and ah she and like being high, I get so paranoid, so I cannot. um Just so anxious. Ball of nerves. That's me.
gemwesty777: That's you.
KAFF: Oh, fun.
gemwesty777: Yes.
KAFF: Tell us about your missed airport stories, folks.
gemwesty777: Yeah, if you've got any, that would be quite amusing.
KAFF: or any horrible airport stories. Cause like, frankly, I think airports are the worst place on earth. People lose all sense of decorum and like how to be people in the world.
gemwesty777: Mm.
gemwesty777: Yeah!
KAFF: I hate it. Thankfully this last go around was not bad. I didn't have to deal with any, but like, I just am amazed at how, how entitled people think they are at the airport sometimes and how shitty they treat people who work for airlines too.
gemwesty777: Mm.
KAFF: Like, yeah.
gemwesty777: Yeah, it can get quite disgusting.
KAFF: yeah
gemwesty777: And people should be happy you're going on holiday. Calm down.
KAFF: Well, you're making some assumptions about where what that they are.
gemwesty777: I am making assumptions, yeah.
KAFF: But I think if you are, you can assume that everyone around you is too. Why not?
gemwesty777: Yeah, exactly. I'm happy I'm going on holiday. day
KAFF: Yeah. um So what do we got today?
gemwesty777: Well, I came across some British insults that are apparently at risk of dying out.
KAFF: Oh.
gemwesty777: So I want to draw international intentions and raise awareness for these insults, but also wanted to run them by you to see if you'd ever heard of them, whether you'd ever used them um and whether you would like to now add them to your vocabulary.
KAFF: Raise awareness.
KAFF: I'm down. I think we need to save the insults.
KAFF: So particular particularly if I envision they're probably going to be really classy and cause that's how what everyone associates with an English accent.
gemwesty777: Save the insults, that's the jingle.
KAFF: So true.
gemwesty777: Yeah, you clearly haven't been to England if you think that. Okay, so number one.
gemwesty777: Prat.
KAFF: I have heard that one and I may have even used it.
gemwesty777: Ooh, good.
KAFF: Doesn't it kind of mean like you're being a prat, like a twat, a brat, an idiot.
gemwesty777: Yeah, an idiot.
KAFF: It gets kind of multipurpose, but generally like stop being so ridiculous.
gemwesty777: Yeah, exactly. um Yeah, I think it's sort of a more polite version of twat, I'd say, you're a prat.
KAFF: You're such a prat.
gemwesty777: See, there's Chris prat.
KAFF: I was just gonna say, you're such a Chris Prab.
gemwesty777: Oh, and the reason they're going out is because young people don't know what these mean anymore, apparently, so I think that's,
KAFF: Because they're not teaching him in school anymore.
gemwesty777: And they come up with new words like riz and stuff.
KAFF: Mm -hmm.
gemwesty777: I can't think of any more because I'm not down with the kids no longer.
KAFF: According to Oxford's, Oxford dictionary, derogatory, informal, an incompetent or stupid person, an idiot. Okay.
gemwesty777: Hmm.
KAFF: But I think language takes on new meaning all the time, right? So people have probably used perhaps because someone's being a dickhead or, you know, rude. Um, but it also means a person's buttocks.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
gemwesty777: Oh.
KAFF: So you're being a person's butt.
gemwesty777: You're being a person's butt.
KAFF: I love it even more now. I'm going to keep that one.
gemwesty777: and Okay. What about Plonka?
KAFF: I don't think I've ever actually said that other than maybe being like, did you just say Plunker? But Nigel does or has. And I am i'm probably not going to say how or when and like a quote, how he's used it. And I've heard it because it's going to sound so horrible. But yes, I have heard that. It means Willie, right?
gemwesty777: I don't know, does it?
KAFF: i thought I think it does, like you're being a plonker.
gemwesty777: I mean, this says a foolish or inept person.
KAFF: Well, yeah, I think that is the way like it kind of is interpreted, but I feel like it's also another word for penis, isn't it? Yeah, Mr. Jobsworth realizes I'm pulling his plonker and suggests I leave.
gemwesty777: Oh, okay, yeah. In the UK Urban Dictionary, it's also a man who sanctions sexual relations between his girlfriend and male friends.
KAFF: Oh, so like a cuckold.
KAFF: Great.
gemwesty777: the word cuckold just like what is that it makes me think of a cuckoo bird for one oh
KAFF: You're such a cuck. Cuck. I think, I mean, it could be that's sort of how it is derived, but in Cuckold, it's a male who, well, I think like the legitimate definition is a male who unwittingly invests parental effort in juveniles who are not genetically his offspring. But I think it's like, it's a type of fetish to you where it's like watching your person have sex with other people and not like, yeah.
gemwesty777: yeah i watched a program recently i can't remember what it was but the the woman in it was a cuckold with her husband and used to watch her husband like have dinner and treat another woman really well and then have sex with her it was weird yeah no i'm not into it
KAFF: Well, if that's your thing, more power to you. But yeah, that's not something that I would be into, I don't think.
KAFF: Yeah, I think back to Plonker, though, it maybe meant penis for a while.
gemwesty777: What insults don't?
KAFF: And then. Yeah, and but like also penises are dumb, so why wouldn't it also mean a dumb person?
KAFF: Plonker.
gemwesty777: You absolute plonker. Sounds better in a Cockney accent as well, I think.
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: Okay, what about numpty?
KAFF: Nope.
gemwesty777: No?
KAFF: First time hearing that and I didn't like it on my ear holes.
gemwesty777: Ooh, you bloody numpty.
KAFF: What? What is it?
gemwesty777: ah I mean, they all kind of just mean idiot, really.
KAFF: Yeah. Okay. Okay. British slang, chiefly Scottish, a stupid or foolish person, an idiot. I don't love how it sounds, but it also is kind of funny.
gemwesty777: Do you know? I like it.
KAFF: He looked a right numpty standing there in his pants.
gemwesty777: He did, yeah.
KAFF: He sure did.
gemwesty777: I think we should bring that one back.
KAFF: Okay. I can adopt that one and because it's not necessarily evoking penis here.
gemwesty777: Good.
gemwesty777: It makes me think of, um yeah, an egg sat on a wall being crushed by hundreds of hooves.
KAFF: Humpty dumpty.
KAFF: Yeah, just like a total egg. yeah He was such an empty, empty, empty.
gemwesty777: Such an empty, that Humpty Dumpty.
gemwesty777: Also, talking of Humpty Dumpty, at no point in that story does anyone describe Humpty Dumpty as an egg?
KAFF: You're correct.
gemwesty777: but we just assume he's an egg, guy I guess from the name.
KAFF: He is.
KAFF: I also think like if we're looking at it in a book, right, nursery room, sometimes we're illustrate.
gemwesty777: Yeah, he's always depicted as an egg.
KAFF: I think he was straight up an egg.
gemwesty777: Someone must have just thought he's an egg.
KAFF: Yeah, he's an egg.
gemwesty777: He sounds like an egg.
KAFF: was Humpty Dumpty and Egg. Oh, well, that just populated because my computer is listening to us. Okay, so the HuffPost UK actually in 2023 has an article called, so Humpty Dumpty isn't actually an egg and the truth is weirder than you can imagine.
gemwesty777: Oh, tell me more.
KAFF: um Good news, everyone, your childhood has been a lie.
KAFF: ah so He first appeared as an egg in Lewis Carroll's 1872 novel, Through the Looking Glass. Chapter 6 of the book is entitled Humpty Dumpty, where he's described in all his eggy glory. um but
gemwesty777: andy glory
KAFF: It's Lewis Carroll for you. The truth has been uncovered via Twitter. His true identity is, okay, tweet said, who decided Humpty Dumpty was an egg? It's not in the lyrics and he and deciding he is a giant egg is quite a random leap for someone to make everyone what else being like, yeah, a giant egg on a wall. Of course. And imagine having no army because they're busy fixing a broken egg.
gemwesty777: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say, like, why did all the king's horses and all the king's men even try to put Humpty together again?
KAFF: Here is why, and it will make sense. He was a cannon. There was a cannon named Humpty Dumpty that fell. And because he was a cannon, it's very important that he get fixed.
gemwesty777: Yes, who else is going to defend the walls?
KAFF: Yep. Used in the English Civil War of 1642 to 1649 in the, specifically in the 1648 siege of Colchester.
gemwesty777: Hmm, OK.
KAFF: So that was a fun little pivot that we all learned something.
gemwesty777: Well. Yeah, today I have learnt.
KAFF: Humpty Dumpty is a cannon and an empty.
gemwesty777: I'm pretty sure you're going to know this one. Get.
KAFF: You daft git.
gemwesty777: You daft get. Come down here, you get.
KAFF: I don't mind. Yeah, I do know that one.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: I don't hate it. It also makes me think of another one that I don't hate, dozy cow or dozy bint.
KAFF: You're just like, get your fucking idiot.
gemwesty777: Yeah, dozy bent. Yeah. What about scallywag?
KAFF: That is a word I've heard. Um, I don't know if I've ever heard it in the context of an insult or if someone was basically like just in their normal parlance calling someone that I feel like it's always been in the context of a fucking, someone doing a pirate accent. Like, oh, yes, scallywag. Pretty sure.
gemwesty777: glorious scallywag.
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: It's usually used to, sorry, my brain's just gone blank. So it's like a kid who's been naughty is a little scallywag.
KAFF: Uh, sure.
gemwesty777: So yeah, this says a person, typically a child who behaves badly, but in an amusingly mischievous rather than harmful way, a rascal.
KAFF: That's cute.
KAFF: Oh, okay. So chips is a scallywag because he's cute in a cat, even though he's so fucking naughty.
gemwesty777: Yeah. Is he still really naughty?
KAFF: While I was gone, I got a video from Nigel. um Chips is on the floor looking up at him and he like kind of pants over in the cabinet is open where all our cat food is stored in their treats and a bunch of shits knocked out. And there's a bag of treats that's been torn open. And I was like, that fucking cat finally figured out how to open a cabinet. Good for him.
gemwesty777: Yeah, well done. forty clever
KAFF: yes Yeah. Yeah.
gemwesty777: is he ah like batter when you put something on the side and he'll just bat it off.
KAFF: Yeah. Thankfully not like glasses of water, which I kind of would love for him to do that because you see it so much, but no, he like right now he likes to take the coasters off the table and play with them.
gemwesty777: Oh!
KAFF: So yeah, it's my favorite toy to be honest.
gemwesty777: Well, who doesn't? They're fun toys.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: I'm bored. Give me a coaster.
gemwesty777: Give me a cup or a box and a coaster and I'm a happy cat.
KAFF: You basically got a spaceship and the coasters are steering wheel. See, fun.
gemwesty777: right
gemwesty777: Okay. What would you think if I called you a nitwit?
KAFF: OK, so that is deathaf that is an insult. That is, I think, I don't think people use it very often anymore, but American too, because ive I feel like that has been in books I've read.
gemwesty777: Oh, okay.
KAFF: it But yeah, I would say thank you. That is so nice. No one's ever said anything like that to me before, because then I truly would be a nitwit, right?
gemwesty777: Yeah, exactly. All right.
gemwesty777: Stop being such a pillock.
KAFF: So I was about to say a fish, but that's pollock, I think, or pollock.
gemwesty777: Pollock.
KAFF: So no, don't know that one.
gemwesty777: Pillock.
gemwesty777: Stupid person, a complete pillock.
KAFF: Rude, you're a pillock.
gemwesty777: No, you are.
KAFF: You are. And you're smelly too, you dozy cow.
gemwesty777: um What about toe rag?
KAFF: What?
gemwesty777: Toe rag.
KAFF: Like poop rag, but for your feet.
gemwesty777: Yep.
KAFF: No, I haven't heard that one either.
gemwesty777: Again, I think it's like a mischievous child.
KAFF: Stupid person. Cause apparently you're either a stupid person or a mischievous child.
gemwesty777: Yeah. ah
gemwesty777: Oh. So.
KAFF: Oh, a contemptible or despicable person.
gemwesty777: Hmm.
gemwesty777: Apparently it comes from.
KAFF: beggar tramp pieces of reg that they wrapped around their feet.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: Is that what you're seeing?
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: Hmm.
KAFF: Interesting.
KAFF: Okay, so like they are poor, homeless people who don't have shoes. They've got toe rags on. Now let's become an insult. That's basically how language works, right?
gemwesty777: Yeah. Yeah.
KAFF: Your toe reg.
gemwesty777: So deriving from a rag tied to a toe line, either on the road or on the river, it would then insist become dirty naturally. Hence the amplified phrase of you dirty toe rag.
KAFF: You dirty rat.
gemwesty777: You dirty rag.
KAFF: You know, that one can go away. I'm okay with that one dying out, I think.
gemwesty777: OK. We'll scratch that one from the list. Toe rag, not acceptable in modern language.
KAFF: Extinct. You heard it here first, folks.
gemwesty777: Extinct. This is one of my favourites and I do think this should be used in everyday language again. Toss pot.
KAFF: Have I heard you say this? I feel like I've heard, I've heard it be, I've heard it be sad.
gemwesty777: bit I think I've said tosser before.
KAFF: Yeah. Yes. Is it similar?
gemwesty777: I seem so. Toss pot origin. Yeah, stupid or obnoxious person. Or, can also mean a heavy drinker.
KAFF: Oh, okay.
gemwesty777: Hmm, drunkard.
KAFF: Okay.
KAFF: See, it makes me think of throwing up, like tossing your cookies. so
KAFF: Because the toilet's a pot. Do you see my face? I'm just like zoning out thinking about this now.
gemwesty777: That one's really captured her attention.
KAFF: but god um It's not, I like it too. I like that it is kind of innocent, but it's also got like some real nice like at the end, you know, so toss pot.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: And then also you could be like, stop being a drunk, you toss pot.
gemwesty777: Yeah. Yeah, I like it. um Drip.
KAFF: Oh yeah, that I think that is something that's like real. I don't know what era it is, but like, Oh man, you're such a drip man.
gemwesty777: Such a drip, man. Such a wet flannel.
KAFF: Yeah. You're just a wet fucking fart.
KAFF: But yeah, that's what it'd be kind of like lame, right? Don't be a drip.
gemwesty777: Yeah, I believe so.
KAFF: Hmm.
gemwesty777: Nini.
KAFF: Childhood, British child, Victorian child, insult.
gemwesty777: Nini. There's also ninkum pooper I've never heard of.
KAFF: You've never heard of nincompoop?
gemwesty777: No, I have heard, but I just haven't heard people use that in a long time.
KAFF: Oh, no, only old people.
gemwesty777: Such ninkum poop.
KAFF: Mm -hmm.
gemwesty777: A fool or simpleton.
KAFF: I mean, it sounds smarter than fool or simpleton, I guess.
gemwesty777: Hmm.
gemwesty777: You can only sort of hear posh people using it, you know?
KAFF: Yeah. Like I don't want to swear and I want to still sound polite, but I also want to say the word poop.
gemwesty777: No. Yeah. But you're being such a ninny or nincompoop.
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: What about blighter?
KAFF: Mm -hmm. Maybe. Maybe? No. No, I haven't. Blighter.
gemwesty777: Blighter.
KAFF: But it means stupid person.
gemwesty777: Yeah, a disliked or contemptible person.
KAFF: Oh, okay. So like Donald Trump's a blighter.
gemwesty777: Yep, worthless.
KAFF: Did I use it right?
gemwesty777: Especially a man, scoundrel or rascal.
KAFF: Yeah, we'd never call a lady a blighter.
gemwesty777: No, it just doesn't fit.
KAFF: The little blighters next door have trampled all over my flowers again, man or child, especially an annoying one.
gemwesty777: I don't think...
gemwesty777: Brilliant.
KAFF: That's from Cambridge. FYI.
gemwesty777: um And the last one is Lummox.
KAFF: This feels very much like a fool. Lumix, I feel like either I'm thinking of a different word with a similar ending, like an OX ending, or I have heard this because I just like, Oh, you're such a Lumix. Like you're, so you're so foolish. Just a really foolish, idiotic, clumsy person.
gemwesty777: Yeah. Goofy, awkward, clumsy.
KAFF: Yeah. Me.
KAFF: yeah
gemwesty777: Kate the Lummox.
KAFF: That's me. That should be a TV show.
gemwesty777: It's actually, maybe we should write screenplay.
KAFF: okay I will.
gemwesty777: Okay, cool. And I'll be your cool British aunt that comes to stay.
KAFF: You could just be my friend.
gemwesty777: Okay, fine.
KAFF: Do you want to be the aunt? Because then we can make my character younger.
KAFF: And then, of course, I could still play a very young person because I'm so youthful and vibrant.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: And I'll totally believe you're my aged, cool aunt.
gemwesty777: Exactly. I'll wear, I'll don a wig and a bonnet. You can get more Botox to make yourself look youthful.
KAFF: Whole face transplant, actually. and and Cool, we'll get started on that.
gemwesty777: Yeah, I'm up for it.
gemwesty777: All right.
KAFF: Bow!
gemwesty777: And we're back.
KAFF: We are. Here we are.
gemwesty777: Here we are. Do you wanna play a game?
KAFF: You know I want to play a game.
gemwesty777: you want to play a game
KAFF: I only ever want to play games, Gemma.
gemwesty777: All right, I mean, we we can give this a go. I don't know how it's gonna go because i there might be a slight delay because, you know, to our listeners, we are in different continents. So we have to record this remotely.
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: We can't, we unfortunately can't ah afford to fly out to each other every week.
KAFF: I'm still kind of my teleportation machine too.
gemwesty777: um Yeah, that's coming along nicely though, I hear.
KAFF: I haven't seen Lucy in a couple days, but I assume she's I think in 1864.
gemwesty777: Must be working then.
KAFF: Oh, that's time travel. I think she's in Croatia.
gemwesty777: So I want to play a game where we say a random word and we keep saying random words until we hopefully eventually end up on the same word.
KAFF: okay
KAFF: Let's. Couple questions.
gemwesty777: Yep.
KAFF: How many, when like when do we give up? Or do we just record until we get to the word tomorrow sometime?
gemwesty777: Till we die.
KAFF: um Maybe like 10, try 10, 10 rounds and see if we can if we can do it in 10, then we didn't fail.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: If we can do it in eight, doing okay. If we can do it in six, that's great. If we can do it in four, excellent. If we can do it in two, we're amazing. And if we can do it on the first go, then we should win a Nobel Peace Prize or something.
gemwesty777: Yeah. I mean, what I should do is just hold up a card with a word on so that no one can hear right now and they'll be like, oh my god, we're so in tune!
KAFF: I actually don't know if you even need to do that because we can just edit it out to make it seem like it. So just tell me the word cut it out.
gemwesty777: That's true.
KAFF: We'll do it.
gemwesty777: Yeah, that would have been easier.
KAFF: um Second question is, OK, so like if to avoid as much of a delay as possible, do we do like one, two, three, go?
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: And then I could just go like this, or do you want me to count?
gemwesty777: Let's count after three.
KAFF: OK. So it'll be like one, two, three soup.
gemwesty777: Yep.
KAFF: and Okay. Don't you soup?
gemwesty777: Okay, now I've got soup on my mind, haven't I?
KAFF: Yeah. Okay. Well, maybe we'll end up with soup.
KAFF: All right. I'm up for it.
gemwesty777: Okay, count us in, baby.
KAFF: One, two, three. Elevator.
gemwesty777: Bowl.
KAFF: You're still thinking soup.
gemwesty777: I know!
KAFF: All right. So I said elevator.
gemwesty777: I hope that you would think of soup as well and go bowl.
KAFF: I actively tried not to think of soup.
gemwesty777: Okay, fine.
KAFF: All right. So we got elevator and bowl.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: All right. One. Hold on. I got no scratch.
KAFF: One, two, three, spoon.
gemwesty777: Stairs. Oh, we've gone in the opposite direction.
KAFF: Okay. Well, I might just have to pivot here. All right.
KAFF: One, two, three, carpet.
gemwesty777: Bannister! I was gonna say floor!
KAFF: Oh, I think we're kind of back aligned a little bit now, though.
gemwesty777: I changed my mind at the last minute.
KAFF: One, two, three, blanket.
gemwesty777: Walls.
KAFF: You said walls, right?
gemwesty777: Yeah, I said walls.
KAFF: What are we on right now? What round?
gemwesty777: I don't know, four?
KAFF: Fuck it. Yeah. Okay.
KAFF: One, two, three, roof.
gemwesty777: cush and
KAFF: me
KAFF: All right.
gemwesty777: Cushion.
KAFF: One, two, three, couch.
gemwesty777: One more.
gemwesty777: Window.
KAFF: One, two, three, curtain.
gemwesty777: Curtains.
gemwesty777: oh
gemwesty777: Yeah, oh yeah.
KAFF: I don't know how I'm going to say we did that in three.
gemwesty777: Yeah, I think we're loving those.
KAFF: That was impressive.
gemwesty777: Pretty good.
KAFF: Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
gemwesty777: Look how aligned we are, look how in sync we are.
KAFF: Oh, that was kind of fun. Um, one more.
gemwesty777: Yeah, why not?
KAFF: Okay. You can count this time.
gemwesty777: Okay. One, two, three, plants.
KAFF: Credit card. Does that count? It's two words, I guess. It's an item though. Okay. Okay. You said plants.
gemwesty777: It's fine.
KAFF: I said credit card. All right. Okay.
gemwesty777: One, two, three. Money.
KAFF: Dollar.
gemwesty777: Ah, does that count?
KAFF: I, not quite.
gemwesty777: Okay.
KAFF: I don't think.
gemwesty777: Shit.
KAFF: And we're running in a tricky territory here because we have different currency.
gemwesty777: Where do we go from here?
KAFF: Okay.
KAFF: OK.
gemwesty777: One, two, three, coins.
KAFF: Quid.
gemwesty777: Ah.
KAFF: Fuck. OK. I thought you were going to say quid too. So just cut. All right.
gemwesty777: One, two, three, dime.
KAFF: Purse. Fuck.
gemwesty777: I think we won it with dollar and money, to be honest.
KAFF: Money. I mean, I'm willing to give it to us. Let's try one more.
gemwesty777: Okay.
KAFF: Wait, what did you say? You said dime. Okay.
gemwesty777: Okay. One, two, three, nickel.
KAFF: Penny. Oh, fuck.
gemwesty777: Oh, fuck. I was going to say penny.
KAFF: I thought that would be like, cause you could, I know you have pence, but like maybe you use penny too.
gemwesty777: And I thought, yeah, I was going to, I know I was thinking of you, but I was going to say penny.
KAFF: You guys don't have fucking nickels.
KAFF: I appreciate that.
gemwesty777: And then I thought, no, cause that's some, that's English.
KAFF: We can get this last one, I think. Okay. You ready?
gemwesty777: and Sorry. Excuse me. um zoning in zoning in one two three pound yes that was that was my that's how i read your mind
KAFF: We're going to get it. Pound. Yes! You were glaring real hard at me. So scared.
KAFF: I think it's, um well, it worked. It just scared me a little. I bet if we do this enough, we'll probably be really good at it.
gemwesty777: Yeah, I reckon if we were in the same room, we'd just be like, bam, pound.
KAFF: Pound, curtains, soup, chauffeur, bathroom butler, Roger.
KAFF: Yes, one day. We'll do that next time we're together.
gemwesty777: Yeah, yeah, that'll be fun. um i'm Sorry, I don't know what's happening.
KAFF: Is it time?
gemwesty777: I'm coughing. Dust.
KAFF: You've got the consumption. Just like Satine in Moulin Rouge.
gemwesty777: Oh, poor woman. The sparkling diamond.
KAFF: Maharaja.
gemwesty777: The Maharaja. Would you like an am I the arse hell?
KAFF: You know I would, baby.
KAFF: You gonna do an accent again?
gemwesty777: um
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: Yay. I think people really enjoy that.
gemwesty777: to Okay, good. Well, have you seen House of the Dragon?
KAFF: Is that the new Game of Thrones?
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: I have been around when it's been on TV.
gemwesty777: All right. Well, you might not get this. you might Who
KAFF: I'm very smart.
gemwesty777: Okay. Am I the asshole for killing my nephew after he took my eye?
gemwesty777: My 18 -male bastard nephew, 10 -male, snatched me across the face, or slashed me across the eye, rather, when we were little during a fight. After I took one of my family's dragons that was unclaimed because of his previous rider died. Long story. Anyways, he wasn't punished for it because his bitch mother was my father's favourite precious little baby. And I was but the second son. A few years later, one of my brothers took the throne after my father asked for him to be king, ridiculous as I was the better choice, and I was sent to gather support of one of the aristocrats of my country.
gemwesty777: He was there as well to do the same thing.
KAFF: Thank you.
gemwesty777: Now I asked the aristocrat to gouge his eye out to make things even, but the little arsehole refused. After that, he fled on his own dragon, and I decided to follow him in my dragon to scare him a little bit. I wasn't really going to hurt him. The petty lizard he rode on, however, decided to attack my dragon, and Vhagar, my dragon, ate him, with my nephew riding it.
KAFF: Burn. Oh.
gemwesty777: So yeah, I didn't mean to kill him. I'm sorry for it. But deeply, I do think that he had it come and coming as punishment for my stolen eye. Do you think it's fair? Am I the asshole?
KAFF: Are you sure this wasn't like written by Prince Harry?
gemwesty777: I think the story is you know roughly based on this. so
KAFF: Yeah, I mean, I heard recently that there was some sort of royal dispute about their dragons.
KAFF: I think overall, ah the whole family needs some therapy, probably. And i get while I get that, you just wanted to take your nephew's eye. You didn't mean to kill him. Criminal laws typically kind of have this you know rule of transference. so it doesn't Sometimes it doesn't really matter what you intended if you're trying to do some harm. And I would say that here in America, and and I'm so making some assumptions that you're not from here. So maybe the rules are different in your country. um But here in America, if you acted with reckless disregard and maybe you didn't mean to kill someone, but you did, like you're still going to get
KAFF: probably chart some form of murder or manslaughter. Now, does that make you an asshole?
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: This is where I'm a little bit split on. I would be mad, too, about losing my eye. I think that that's justifiable, that you would want to, you know, have a little eye for an eye. See what I did there.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: But ah it's also like that's what I mean by the therapy. Like you need to let it go.
gemwesty777: Hmm.
KAFF: Probably it sounds like you've been holding on to it for a while. I imagine probably that's really pickled pickled your insides a little bit. And now you maybe are a bit of an asshole. did call your sister a bitch and all of that. And I don't know, therapy, therapy, man.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: Sorry about your eye.
gemwesty777: Sorry about your ad dude.
KAFF: What do you think?
gemwesty777: Yeah, you know, I agree. um Obviously holding on a lot of resentment for for losing your eye. um But from what I hear, you do have quite a scary, cool, blue, sparkly thing going on and underneath your eye patch now. So looks pretty hard.
KAFF: Cool.
gemwesty777: um But yeah, I think, you know, killing in revenge for an injury probably is a bit arseholery.
KAFF: Glass hole paper. Yeah, a little bit.
gemwesty777: and you know I don't know how the laws work in your land but it's yeah probably a an offence you know you've probably broken a a few laws there um he did yeah and I think that goes back to the you know
KAFF: Mm -hmm. He did say he didn't mean to and he's sorry.
gemwesty777: the old tale that really people can't control their dragons um and you know they they are beings on their own so we just get the privilege to ride them so yeah some sort of test
KAFF: It's true.
KAFF: I do think there should be better more like more training around dragon riding, though, like a little more education, maybe make rules about can't ride your dragon until you're 21 or older, probably, and maybe even with an adult for a little while after that.
gemwesty777: That's it, and these guys are really young, you know, 18 and 10. I mean, maybe you shouldn't be sending these, yeah, probably shouldn't be sending these guys to, you know, talk with lords over these matters.
KAFF: I also think like unfair advantage.
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: So, you know, maybe the parents are to blame.
KAFF: hu Overall, I blame the schools.
gemwesty777: Who am I to say?
gemwesty777: Always comes back to the school system, yeah.
KAFF: Yeah, I blame the schools.
gemwesty777: um
KAFF: Imagine your sister's probably gonna want some restorative justice or revenge too now for her baby being eaten by your dragon along with his dragon.
gemwesty777: um that's it keep that one eye open and
KAFF: So like, be prepared. Watch watch your back with your one eye, I guess.
KAFF: Maybe she might just take your other eye and then what are you gonna do?
gemwesty777: as you said you know i mean one of the episodes was an eye for an eye and then another episode was a sun for a sun so
KAFF: Oh, wait, episode.
gemwesty777: um um a Oh, I don't, uh, sorry.
KAFF: Is this is this fictional?
gemwesty777: No, I, I don't know what, sorry. and That slipped out of my mouth. I don't know what you're talking about. Uh, so one of the top comments is you're the arsehole. You lost an eye and gained a dragon. He lost two eyes and a dragon. Not really fair.
KAFF: Agree, yeah.
gemwesty777: Um, also I should point out that this, the OPs dragon is the largest dragon in the world. It's fucking massive.
KAFF: Hmm.
gemwesty777: So he should have taken that into account.
KAFF: Yeah, that doesn't seem like largest dragon in the world, 18, bigger 10 year old, his little baby 10 year old dragon with training wheels. That does not seem like a fair fight.
gemwesty777: Nope.
KAFF: I'm sorry that he got the jump on you and was able to slash her eye, but you know, kids are little scallywags and well, you know, they just kind of like frenzy around. You know, they don't know the rules of things.
gemwesty777: I like the flapping you're doing. Just fancy about.
KAFF: that's what That's what kids do with their swords when they're fighting with swords.
gemwesty777: ah This person said, pet owners these days, I swear, if you can't control your pet, you probably shouldn't have it. Before you know it, they're flying around the countryside eating small folk sheep.
KAFF: That goes back to what I was saying about like better education around dragon ownership and stuff.
gemwesty777: Hmm.
KAFF: But I also wanted to just say dragons are not property. They should be treated with respect. Okay. It is a privilege.
gemwesty777: Well, there you go. um So I think in conclusion, yes, you are the asshole for killing your... What was it? Nephew?
KAFF: Nephew.
gemwesty777: Cousin?
KAFF: Nephew. I think great.
gemwesty777: Nephew.
KAFF: Yeah.
gemwesty777: Yep.
gemwesty777: Sorry to say that, but, you know, I'm sure revenge will be sweet against you.
KAFF: Yep. And swift. Yeah. Good luck.
gemwesty777: Ta -ta!
gemwesty777: He is a scallywag, isn't he?
KAFF: Yeah, I think so. Both of them.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
KAFF: His brain's not fully developed either. And I assume like losing that eye probably had a big impact on it. So I do have some empathy a little, but that doesn't justify anything young man.
gemwesty777: No, you can't you can't just go around murdering, all right?
KAFF: Go to your dragon room.
KAFF: Well, I think on that note, it's a really great place to end. You can't just go around murdering.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
gemwesty777: That's advice for you all.
KAFF: Mm -hmm.
gemwesty777: I hope you take that on board. Bring back these insults. um
KAFF: Tell us which ones you like, if you got other ones, because I know there's some really old ones that are like, you sir are a piece of bog cheese.
KAFF: I'll have to find, yeah, I'll have to find the list I'm thinking of where it's just like very old insults.
gemwesty777: That's a new one. I'm writing that down.
gemwesty777: Yeah, okay. We'll just keep getting older and older every episode.
KAFF: Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
gemwesty777: Yeah, okay.
KAFF: That sounds good. Okay.
gemwesty777: All right.
KAFF: Just like us in real life.
gemwesty777: Yeah.
gemwesty777: Each day we're closer to death. Um, and on that note, you know, if you have any more insults that you'd like to tell us about, then send them in to talk shit to us at gmail .com or chuck us a DM on socials, which is T S Y B pod. And we'll reply and read it out.
KAFF: All right. Yep, we will. Because we love it.
KAFF: It was good to see you, Toss Pot.
gemwesty777: And you, you bloody nincompoop.
KAFF: Till next time.
gemwesty777: Till next time. Bye!
KAFF: Bye.
gemwesty777: Oh, that was quick.
KAFF: That was really short.
gemwesty777: Tear up.
KAFF: Bye.
