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Patreon Grab Bag: Bible Porn, Fozzy Bear & More
22 Plays3 years ago
Gather round ladies for a selection of stories and questions from our Patreon subscribers. Should you tell Pick-Me's when their man is cheating? Does your husband deserve more chances than a boyfriend? What do women think of casual relationships? Roast of Alok Vaid Menon.
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Transcript
Introduction and Promotions
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, Queens, do you enjoy the Female Dating Strategy podcast?
00:00:02
Speaker
Then check us out on Patreon, patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy for extra bonus content, exclusive merchandise, a discord where you can talk to us directly, and our newly launched feature, which is the twice monthly war room on the queen tier, where our patrons can...
00:00:19
Speaker
voice chat with us, the podcast host, as well as the other members.
00:00:23
Speaker
And we'll talk through your dating questions and life issues live and give you the most ruthless strategic advice that we can come up with.
00:00:31
Speaker
So check us out on patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:00:35
Speaker
We've also launched a weekly newsletter.
00:00:38
Speaker
You can sign up for the newsletter on our website, the female dating strategy.com.
00:00:41
Speaker
So lots of exciting things being launched right now.
00:00:44
Speaker
I hope you like it and we appreciate your support.
00:00:46
Speaker
So check us out.
00:00:47
Speaker
Let's start the show.
Roast-a-Scrote: Dating Stories and Deceptions
00:00:54
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:55
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:59
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:01:00
Speaker
I'm Savannah.
00:01:01
Speaker
And I'm Lila.
00:01:02
Speaker
So, once again, this week's episode is a roast-a-scrobed bonanza.
00:01:08
Speaker
Woo!
00:01:09
Speaker
And dating questions, for that matter.
00:01:10
Speaker
These are all questions slash comments slash stories that have been submitted by our Patreon subscribers, which we are going to read to you and give feedback and roast the ever-loving fuck out of anybody who deserves it.
00:01:22
Speaker
Because there's some weird feedback we've gotten that wasn't like, it's not a dating question.
00:01:25
Speaker
It's not a queen shit.
00:01:26
Speaker
It's not a roast to scrote, but we just want to talk about it.
00:01:29
Speaker
So let's jump right in.
00:01:31
Speaker
Let's get right to it.
00:01:32
Speaker
So our very first roast to scrote comes from Kit.
00:01:36
Speaker
Kit.
00:01:37
Speaker
And she writes a quick roast to scrote as a reminder to never ignore trusting your gut and definitely don't trust a scrote.
00:01:44
Speaker
This took place years ago when I worked as a receptionist at a car dealership.
00:01:48
Speaker
I was 22 and freshly single out of a terrible relationship I'd been in since I was 17.
00:01:53
Speaker
So I was timid about dating someone new, but pretty excited about being an adult in the dating world.
00:01:58
Speaker
Yeah, no, she's like, I'm excited about being an adult in the dating world.
00:02:03
Speaker
God, no.
00:02:05
Speaker
There was your first mistake.
00:02:07
Speaker
Man, honestly, to be young and optimistic, I'm still in my 20s, so I'm still young, but like still like to be 22 and optimistic is like...
00:02:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:15
Speaker
I miss those days.
00:02:16
Speaker
Because it makes you feel like you're a grown up finally when you feel like, okay, I'm in my 20s.
00:02:20
Speaker
I'm going to be out on the town.
00:02:22
Speaker
You know, you're free from your parents.
00:02:24
Speaker
I get it.
00:02:24
Speaker
It's like a coming of age.
00:02:26
Speaker
So she writes next.
00:02:28
Speaker
So I had my scrotation going on before I knew to call it a scrotation.
00:02:31
Speaker
Okay, queen.
00:02:32
Speaker
So she already came out the gate, you know, with a clue here, the head of the game.
00:02:36
Speaker
One guy I was interested in was my coworker with blue eyes and a very confident attitude.
00:02:41
Speaker
This was mistake number one.
00:02:42
Speaker
He was a salesman.
00:02:43
Speaker
So of course he was charming, charismatic, and funny.
00:02:49
Speaker
Lilith, do you have something to add to that?
00:02:53
Speaker
I will say all the guys that I've worked with in sales, I always used to say like, I'm never going to date another guy in sales because all of these motherfuckers are like manipulative.
00:03:01
Speaker
They're liars.
00:03:02
Speaker
They all cheat.
00:03:03
Speaker
So many guys in my office like cheat on their wives, like openly at work.
00:03:07
Speaker
It's just very like fucked up.
00:03:08
Speaker
So I'm like, I would never date another guy who works in sales.
00:03:11
Speaker
But my boyfriend literally has like the same, like we met when we had the same job.
00:03:16
Speaker
And so that
00:03:17
Speaker
So my boyfriend works in sales.
00:03:20
Speaker
And I mean, he's fine.
00:03:21
Speaker
There's like some of them are OK, but most of them are trash.
00:03:24
Speaker
So I'm already biased against this man already at the beginning of the story.
00:03:28
Speaker
He hang around the showroom floor while waiting for a customer to come in and would frequently hang out around my desk.
00:03:34
Speaker
We would flirt, but nothing too over the line.
00:03:36
Speaker
Just some back and forth, playful picking on each other and having inside jokes about work.
00:03:40
Speaker
OK, so far, like that's pretty normal, actually.
00:03:43
Speaker
I was interested, but found out from another coworker that he had a girlfriend he'd never mentioned to me before.
00:03:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:03:48
Speaker
Time out.
00:03:49
Speaker
Okay.
00:03:49
Speaker
That's a red flag.
00:03:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:03:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:51
Speaker
So I just had a discussion, not even a day ago about a coworker who had a girlfriend for a while that I knew him.
00:04:01
Speaker
I was not interested in him whatsoever.
00:04:03
Speaker
In fact, I thought he was closeted.
00:04:05
Speaker
I thought he was actually gay.
00:04:06
Speaker
So I didn't press because I was like, well, he's probably not talking about his personal life when other people do, because he's got like, you know, maybe he's not comfortable coming out.
00:04:13
Speaker
Turns out he had like a whole girlfriend and not only did he have a girlfriend, like he was actively abusive towards her and it caused a bunch of drama like in my social circle later.
00:04:23
Speaker
So, but this is a person I met at work.
00:04:25
Speaker
So like, it's kind of wild.
00:04:26
Speaker
Like somebody will work with you for years and if they don't want you to know they have a significant other, you won't know.
00:04:32
Speaker
It's just odd.
00:04:33
Speaker
That's another thing I've always found very weird is like most of the guys at work that I know that are married, I don't know that they're married from them.
00:04:39
Speaker
Like whenever we have conversations with,
00:04:42
Speaker
I know that they're married, but they don't know that I know that they're married.
00:04:44
Speaker
I'll find out from other people.
00:04:46
Speaker
But like, they'll still frame conversations like, oh, on the weekend, I went to go do this event with my friends.
00:04:52
Speaker
And like, you know, it's like his wife and his kid, right?
00:04:54
Speaker
But like, they'll frame stories in a way to like, leave out the fact that they're married, right?
00:04:59
Speaker
Which is wild, right?
00:05:00
Speaker
Like you have to start that from the beginning from like the first day you work there, you have to plan to never tell anybody about your wife or girlfriend.
00:05:07
Speaker
Or like, I'm the new person at my work, right?
00:05:09
Speaker
And so I'm just like, okay, so there's all these guys that are just like, they meet me and they're like, I'm not going to tell her that I have a wife.
00:05:14
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:05:15
Speaker
I see.
00:05:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:16
Speaker
But still.
00:05:17
Speaker
I hate men.
00:05:18
Speaker
Yeah, that's why I hate.
00:05:19
Speaker
That's like one of the many reasons why I hate men.
00:05:21
Speaker
But yeah.
00:05:22
Speaker
So while I still enjoyed joking around, I lost all desire to pursue anything past that.
00:05:28
Speaker
He didn't seem to notice and eventually his girlfriend came to see him at work and it was no big deal.
00:05:32
Speaker
So I convinced myself that the flirting was just in my head and he must just be a friendly person.
00:05:37
Speaker
He was a salesman after all.
00:05:38
Speaker
They like that ambiguity in my experience.
00:05:41
Speaker
I previously worked in sales, so I know sometimes it's hard to switch out of that charismatic persona.
00:05:45
Speaker
This was mistake number two.
00:05:47
Speaker
Flash forward a few months and I no longer worked at the car dealership.
00:05:50
Speaker
Not exactly my dream job anyways.
00:05:53
Speaker
After a couple of weeks of not being employed there, I get a Snapchat from the scrote.
00:05:57
Speaker
He added me on Snapchat while we worked together.
00:05:59
Speaker
It was more popular at the time, but didn't add me on any other social media.
00:06:03
Speaker
Yeah, Snapchat is like the specifically like the cheaters app.
00:06:06
Speaker
Yeah, definitely.
00:06:08
Speaker
So especially if they don't want to add you anywhere else on social media, like that's kind of odd.
00:06:13
Speaker
If it's just Snapchat, yeah, that's not good.
00:06:15
Speaker
I was sus, sure.
00:06:17
Speaker
After too many flirty comments during the small talk convo, I asked outright about his super serious girlfriend I knew he had.
00:06:23
Speaker
He sends me a sad face and told me they broke up recently.
00:06:27
Speaker
Sure.
00:06:27
Speaker
Lies.
00:06:28
Speaker
We're on a break.
00:06:29
Speaker
We're separated.
00:06:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:32
Speaker
I'm an unhappy marriage.
00:06:33
Speaker
We haven't had sex in five years.
00:06:35
Speaker
I've heard it all.
00:06:36
Speaker
Okay.
00:06:36
Speaker
Like, when I've been to say these lies, I'm just like immediately reject that as a lie.
00:06:42
Speaker
Sad face.
00:06:42
Speaker
I don't know what it is about emojis, but only fuckboys use emojis.
00:06:46
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:06:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:47
Speaker
I use emojis all the time, but I don't trust men that use emojis.
00:06:51
Speaker
Right.
00:06:51
Speaker
I'm like suspicious of men that use emojis.
00:06:55
Speaker
I think it's because you feel like their communication is not going to be straightforward and you can feel the emotional manipulation behind it.
00:07:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:02
Speaker
I feel like when women communicate, we want to convey emotions through text.
00:07:06
Speaker
When women try to convey emotions through text, there's usually not a sinister reason for it.
00:07:10
Speaker
When men try to communicate emotions through text, I'm like, I feel emotionally manipulated.
00:07:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:15
Speaker
And it just comes across as immature as well.
00:07:17
Speaker
Like, use your words, Scrope.
00:07:19
Speaker
Exactly.
00:07:19
Speaker
With that out of the way, I gave myself permission to flirt back a little.
00:07:23
Speaker
He was cute and funny, so what was the harm?
00:07:25
Speaker
So we're texting back and forth, talking, and the conversation starts to heat up from flirting to sexting.
00:07:30
Speaker
If you read the conversation, you couldn't disagree.
00:07:32
Speaker
Aww.
00:07:33
Speaker
Aww.
00:07:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:35
Speaker
I mean, this is the problem with like turning the conversation sexual when a guy hasn't taken you out on a formal date.
00:07:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:42
Speaker
I mean, I'm all for flirting, but... Yeah.
00:07:44
Speaker
I would say like it's a fine line because like the line between like flirting and like actually making it like raunchy is like, I don't know, guys tend to push that line.
00:07:52
Speaker
I would just say something like, oh, you know, maybe we could hang out sometime or maybe like to like...
00:07:56
Speaker
Say something to imply that I'd be okay with seeing him outside of work and see if he asks me on a date.
00:08:01
Speaker
And if he doesn't, then I just end the conversation because I don't want that shit in writing.
00:08:07
Speaker
He was dropping heavy hints that he wanted to come see me that night, but didn't directly ask.
00:08:11
Speaker
So I didn't offer.
00:08:12
Speaker
Smartest decision I could have made.
00:08:14
Speaker
Yeah, I agree.
00:08:15
Speaker
Because maybe not even three days later, I'm scrolling through Facebook and I see a video that tagged someone I had added as a friend, some acquaintance I didn't remember adding.
00:08:24
Speaker
And coincidentally, it's the scrote's, quote, ex-girlfriend who posted it.
00:08:27
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:08:29
Speaker
Wait, you're friends with this ex-girlfriend on Facebook?
00:08:31
Speaker
What?
00:08:32
Speaker
She says it's a mutual friend.
00:08:33
Speaker
So someone else that she had added.
00:08:35
Speaker
Oh, and it pops up sometimes.
00:08:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:38
Speaker
Tagged the girlfriend of this guy.
00:08:40
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:41
Speaker
Small world.
00:08:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:42
Speaker
I recognize her face in the video of what looks like her birthday party or something.
00:08:45
Speaker
I was curious and kept watching.
00:08:47
Speaker
Then out of the corner of the screen walks up.
00:08:49
Speaker
You probably already guessed the guy who 72 hours ago was texting me about railing me in a bathroom.
00:08:57
Speaker
In a bathroom?
00:09:01
Speaker
In a bathroom?
00:09:02
Speaker
Is that what you said, Ro?
00:09:03
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:04
Speaker
Railing her in a bathroom.
00:09:06
Speaker
Que romance.
00:09:08
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:09:09
Speaker
So romantic.
00:09:13
Speaker
Next to the dirty soap and hair crumbs and use tampons and shit.
00:09:17
Speaker
Yeah,
Public Behavior and Relationship Dynamics
00:09:18
Speaker
like gross.
00:09:19
Speaker
That's disgusting.
00:09:20
Speaker
I was quite shook.
00:09:21
Speaker
Like when I was active in like the BDSM community, like the number of men who just shamelessly flirt when they had a girlfriend and they would even say it in the same conversation.
00:09:30
Speaker
And then they would just be like, oh, we can have a threesome.
00:09:32
Speaker
I'm just like, fuck off.
00:09:33
Speaker
Oh, you know, we can watch, you know, my girlfriend can watch us fuck.
00:09:36
Speaker
I'm like, fuck off even more.
00:09:38
Speaker
That sounds not fun at all.
00:09:40
Speaker
Like why for anyone except for the man?
00:09:42
Speaker
Why would you do that?
00:09:43
Speaker
It honestly, like honestly made me really, really cynical.
00:09:47
Speaker
And at one point I literally swore off men because it's like, they're just so unashamedly.
00:09:52
Speaker
Oh, I don't even know how to describe it.
00:09:53
Speaker
They're just so unashamedly shameless about
00:09:55
Speaker
about cheating on their girlfriend behind their back.
00:09:57
Speaker
And when I even used to say to one of them, so if you knew that your girlfriend was talking the way you're talking to me to another Dom, how would you feel?
00:10:05
Speaker
And he was like, oh, I wouldn't like it.
00:10:06
Speaker
I'm like, there you fucking go then.
00:10:07
Speaker
Like, it's just, honestly, never underestimate the lack of empathy that men have and the boundaries they have at the same time, especially low value men.
00:10:16
Speaker
They have some of the strongest boundaries because the behavior that, or like the way they treat women and their girlfriends, they will never tolerate that behavior if it was done to them.
00:10:24
Speaker
Of course not.
00:10:25
Speaker
Men are just greedy.
00:10:26
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:10:27
Speaker
Like men who cheat, they are just fucking greedy.
00:10:29
Speaker
Like they'll have a perfectly good wife at home or good girlfriend at home and they just want more.
00:10:34
Speaker
Right.
00:10:35
Speaker
And so I think that's why I think the solution is for women to be more greedy.
00:10:39
Speaker
Like I think it's okay for me to flirt.
00:10:41
Speaker
The way that I talk just normally is sort of flirtatious slightly.
00:10:44
Speaker
And if my boyfriend ever had a problem with that, I'd probably break up with him.
00:10:48
Speaker
But I have a problem with men who talk like that.
00:10:50
Speaker
So yeah, I support double standards like that.
00:10:53
Speaker
But it's also annoying Lilith because these men are so audacious.
00:10:56
Speaker
Like they can literally look like they've come from the depths of Isengard from the Orc pit and they'll still be trying to fucking flirt.
00:11:03
Speaker
It's so audacious.
00:11:04
Speaker
And these women, they are so much, you know, more attractive.
00:11:07
Speaker
They can easily attract more men.
00:11:08
Speaker
And it's like, you can barely attract one woman and you're treating her like shit.
00:11:13
Speaker
Like that's just like, it's the audacity that gets to me.
00:11:15
Speaker
It really, yeah.
00:11:17
Speaker
Side note, I just got to ask anybody want to chime in from our audience, like what is with the bathroom sex?
00:11:23
Speaker
Yeah, I don't get that.
00:11:25
Speaker
I've never had sex in a bathroom.
00:11:26
Speaker
So I worked at bars and bar bathrooms are always gross, even though people try to fuck in there occasionally.
00:11:32
Speaker
And I don't get it.
00:11:33
Speaker
I'm like, it literally smells like piss water and vomit.
00:11:36
Speaker
Like it doesn't get me in the mood.
00:11:38
Speaker
Like it doesn't make me horny to be there.
00:11:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:42
Speaker
You're right.
00:11:42
Speaker
Like you're better off trying to like sneak it in, like in the VIP section in the back.
00:11:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:47
Speaker
Like, I don't know.
00:11:49
Speaker
If you're that horny and shit.
00:11:51
Speaker
Or like people having sex, like behind the dumpster, you know, behind the bar, like just, you know, I don't know, maybe it's because I'm Canadian and I'm spoiled and we have all these beautiful, amazing parks that you can go to have sex with.
00:12:00
Speaker
If you want sex in public, just go to the forest.
00:12:02
Speaker
Right.
00:12:02
Speaker
So having a bathroom, it's like, why?
00:12:05
Speaker
I just had a flashback of being
00:12:07
Speaker
maybe about 12 or 13 and walking past a bar sometime in the evening and watching some what looked to be a homeless woman blowing a homeless man.
00:12:17
Speaker
And I think that it might have been my first visual of like what that looked like in
00:12:22
Speaker
in the back of an alleyway.
00:12:24
Speaker
But yeah, I understand because they don't really have any place to go.
00:12:26
Speaker
But like, if you have a place to go, why the bathroom?
00:12:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:31
Speaker
Why the bathroom?
00:12:32
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:32
Speaker
Or why like some, I don't get it.
00:12:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:35
Speaker
He walks up to her, kisses her and smiles at the camera.
00:12:38
Speaker
The video was posted three hours ago and the fucking cherry on top, he then spins around, gets down on one knee and proposes to her.
00:12:49
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:12:50
Speaker
Recently broke up my ass.
00:12:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:53
Speaker
Oh, fuck.
00:12:54
Speaker
That's like a plot twist I was not expecting.
00:12:57
Speaker
After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I used it to laugh my ass off.
00:13:01
Speaker
I didn't even bother to call him out.
00:13:02
Speaker
He clearly knew what he was doing.
00:13:04
Speaker
Block and delete.
00:13:04
Speaker
As for the other girl, I wish I could tell you I exposed him and saved the princess from the dragon, but he was calculating enough to use Snapchat where the messages disappear.
00:13:11
Speaker
So I had less than no proof.
00:13:13
Speaker
Also checking out her socials, I saw she had some pretty misogynistic opinions on other women.
00:13:19
Speaker
Uh, yeah.
00:13:20
Speaker
See, when you see that shit, like, yeah, don't even bother.
00:13:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:23
Speaker
I'm not sticking my neck out for you.
00:13:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:25
Speaker
And she's going to blame you.
00:13:27
Speaker
She'll blame you and she just won't believe you.
00:13:29
Speaker
But at the same time, though, I'm still somewhat of a fan, even if they don't believe me.
00:13:33
Speaker
But at least I can just say I told you that I used to all the time that I'd find out because like men are pretty fucking stupid, especially low value men.
00:13:41
Speaker
They would tell me like their girlfriend's socials, thinking that I would look at it to find her attractive so he could have a threesome.
00:13:47
Speaker
And I'll just send her the screenshots.
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:51
Speaker
what she did with that is not up to me.
00:13:52
Speaker
What she did with that was not up to me, but at least I told her because I just feel like if I am in a position to tell her and I don't, I feel like I'm complicit.
00:14:01
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:14:02
Speaker
Also, you know, honestly, just cause chaos.
00:14:05
Speaker
I mean, low value men, they rely on women's silence, you know, whether they're abusive or low value, they rely on women not saying anything, especially warning other women.
00:14:13
Speaker
So I don't want to be part of that culture.
00:14:16
Speaker
I do generally say it is a good idea to warn women.
00:14:19
Speaker
And sometimes even if she ends up being a shitty person, it's like, why not just cause chaos in their life anyways?
00:14:24
Speaker
Exactly.
00:14:25
Speaker
And at least you've told her.
00:14:26
Speaker
And at least you've told her, like, it's not like you're keeping it a secret.
00:14:29
Speaker
Yeah, you've taken the moral high road.
00:14:31
Speaker
So I got to confess, I didn't tell... I actually had a building I used to live in and I was renting out my extra parking space to a neighbor who had a wife and kids.
00:14:42
Speaker
And immediately when he came down to like, he would basically come down and give me rent for the parking space I was renting him every month.
00:14:47
Speaker
And then like every single time he would start to ask me out and I didn't say anything because they lived in the building...
00:14:53
Speaker
I don't know.
00:14:53
Speaker
I felt weird because they had like a kid.
00:14:55
Speaker
I really wanted to tell her like when I saw her like your husband is in shit, but I'd never figured out how to say it.
00:15:00
Speaker
And I was like kind of afraid of him being a psycho and then like stalking me.
00:15:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:05
Speaker
Because I'm like, if you're stupid enough to try to like hit on someone who lives in your building.
00:15:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:10
Speaker
That like literally lives in the same building.
00:15:12
Speaker
I mean, obviously I wouldn't, you know, recommend it if it's going to put the woman in harm's way.
00:15:16
Speaker
Definitely not.
00:15:17
Speaker
But, you know, where possible, I think that women, we just sort of need to have each other's backs.
00:15:21
Speaker
Even women who like the woman in this story, she's got mystristic view, she's a pick me.
00:15:25
Speaker
But it's not so much about the individual woman.
00:15:28
Speaker
And it's more about, you know, rejecting this idea that if a guy is shitty, that we have to keep it to ourselves because ultimately that only benefits the shitty men in society.
00:15:37
Speaker
It's true.
00:15:38
Speaker
I'm trying to figure out like the best way to blow up this spot.
00:15:40
Speaker
Like, how would you have done it?
00:15:41
Speaker
Just commented on the video?
00:15:42
Speaker
I feel like I would just comment on the video.
00:15:44
Speaker
No, no, no.
00:15:45
Speaker
I would have, again, like the BDSM, I would have just gone along with his bullshit and then either just outrightly asked on a threesome or something, you know, can I see what your girlfriend looks like or something like that?
00:15:55
Speaker
And then just did it that way.
00:15:56
Speaker
That's what I do.
00:15:56
Speaker
The men are stupid as hell, especially when they think there is a threesome at the end of it.
00:16:00
Speaker
That's what works for me.
00:16:01
Speaker
They would always give it up anyway.
00:16:02
Speaker
And then I'll just go and send her the screenshot saying, by the way, this is what your dom's doing.
00:16:07
Speaker
I thought you should know about it.
00:16:08
Speaker
Honestly, there's so many married men that make flirty comments towards me or that hit on me, but they never leave it.
00:16:14
Speaker
I've not had an opportunity where it's in writing.
00:16:16
Speaker
Most of these guys are smart, especially the older guys.
00:16:19
Speaker
They know not to leave that shit in writing.
00:16:21
Speaker
At least the guys that I like at my work and stuff.
00:16:23
Speaker
Unlike Vince McMahon.
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, I've not had that many opportunities to... To blow up a scrape slice of it.
00:16:32
Speaker
I'm actually trying to think, like, have there been missed opportunities where I could have blown up a guy's life and I didn't?
00:16:37
Speaker
I mean, there's ones that were, like, unrelated to, like, cheating.
00:16:40
Speaker
But the cheating-specific ones, like... I mean, I've never, like, flirted with, like... I've never knowingly had a relationship with a married guy.
00:16:46
Speaker
I've heard of cases where...
00:16:48
Speaker
you know, the other woman, she has a relationship with a man, she knows that he's married.
00:16:52
Speaker
And then when the relationship doesn't work out, that only then she'll tell the wife or whatever as like a, well, fuck you, like as a retaliatory thing kind of thing.
00:16:59
Speaker
So I've heard of that happening, but I've never knowingly had dated a married man.
00:17:03
Speaker
Like maybe there's been guys that like turned out to be married after the fact and stuff.
00:17:07
Speaker
But like, you know, that wasn't really, the opportunity has not yet presented itself to me, at least not in a way that would like
00:17:13
Speaker
I feel like if I were to complain about every married guy that flirted with me, I would just totally toast my connections and like, you know.
00:17:20
Speaker
Burn it down.
00:17:21
Speaker
Burn it all down.
00:17:23
Speaker
I mean, my life would be like, you know, people would think I'm a bitch and I'd be like, you know.
00:17:28
Speaker
There'd be so many people I'd be complaining about that it would just end up reflecting negatively on me.
00:17:31
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:17:32
Speaker
So it's tough.
00:17:33
Speaker
That's something for me to think about more because I do enjoy ruining men's lives.
00:17:37
Speaker
I'm trying to think how do I do it in a way that doesn't ruin my life.
00:17:39
Speaker
Right.
00:17:40
Speaker
That's really what it came down to, right?
00:17:41
Speaker
Because the multitude of times where I had a guy try to talk to me on the sly when I knew he had a girlfriend, it was like, this would be more of a problem for me.
00:17:50
Speaker
And I'm like, I'm sure your girlfriend knows because of how like ancient you are in front of a lot of people, right?
00:17:55
Speaker
Because like some guys just aren't even sneaky and that's what's fucked up, right?
00:17:58
Speaker
It's confusing.
00:17:59
Speaker
But anyways, so we continue.
00:18:00
Speaker
I don't know her and I don't want to judge, but if you ask me, I'd say she gave big pick me vibes.
00:18:05
Speaker
So I couldn't do much to help.
00:18:06
Speaker
I'm sure he's out there somewhere reoffending and she'll know soon enough.
00:18:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:10
Speaker
And that's just sad, to be honest.
00:18:12
Speaker
That just seems to be... It's just so common.
00:18:15
Speaker
Yeah, no, her story checks out.
00:18:16
Speaker
I know guys like that at my work all the time.
00:18:18
Speaker
And that's why I always used to say I'd never date a guy in sales.
00:18:20
Speaker
It's like dating a cop.
00:18:21
Speaker
Like, they're just like... They're fundamentally flawed.
00:18:26
Speaker
Like, I feel like this sort of person who's drawn to this career, like, they just have a certain underlying personality that makes them not desirable as a partner.
00:18:34
Speaker
But yeah...
00:18:35
Speaker
Alrighty.
00:18:35
Speaker
So thanks Kit for that roast to scrote, the fucking audacity of that man.
00:18:40
Speaker
Next up, we have a dating question from anonymous.
00:18:43
Speaker
And the question asks, when would you end a marriage versus a relationship?
00:18:46
Speaker
Do you think marriages are worth doing more work and making more exceptions for after the initial vetting process?
00:18:51
Speaker
My husband has gotten more conservative the longer we have been married three years and I've become more liberal.
00:18:56
Speaker
I've never been one to equate politics with my ability to connect with someone as long as the core value of caring for people and respecting humanity is there.
00:19:04
Speaker
I feel like with COVID, the right-wing media propaganda sucked him in deep.
00:19:07
Speaker
That's tough.
00:19:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:08
Speaker
He started to say insensitive things.
00:19:11
Speaker
I'll give examples without the context.
00:19:13
Speaker
He says things lightheartedly, but it disturbs me because they are aligning with his beliefs.
00:19:17
Speaker
So he'll say, well, my vote cancels out your vote anyway, so it doesn't matter what you do.
00:19:21
Speaker
You're slipping, referencing our shared faith because you are pro-choice.
00:19:25
Speaker
What do you believe old men can marry children now to?
00:19:29
Speaker
I don't understand that, what he's trying to say here.
00:19:32
Speaker
That's what he said?
00:19:33
Speaker
He says, well, my vote cancels out your vote anyways, so it doesn't matter what you do.
00:19:37
Speaker
I'm assuming the second sentence is her responding, saying, you're slipping, referencing our shared faith because you are pro-choice.
00:19:43
Speaker
What?
00:19:43
Speaker
Do you believe old men can marry children now, too?
00:19:47
Speaker
I'm so confused.
00:19:48
Speaker
What?
00:19:49
Speaker
Yeah, I'm a little bit confused, too.
00:19:50
Speaker
Sorry, Opie.
00:19:51
Speaker
Most disturbingly, as of late, in so many words, he said, I'll be able to be kinder to you if you sleep with me more.
00:19:57
Speaker
It's hard for me to want to be kind if we aren't having sex.
00:19:59
Speaker
Man, fuck this dude.
00:20:01
Speaker
No.
00:20:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:20:02
Speaker
Your husband's literally abusive.
00:20:03
Speaker
Fuck this guy.
00:20:04
Speaker
No, dude.
00:20:05
Speaker
Let me tell you why this pisses me off so much.
00:20:08
Speaker
Cause this is like, if they're like Christian, it sounds like there are some flavor of a Christian.
00:20:12
Speaker
All of the Christian books are all about how like women owe men sex and that like these guys like won't be nice to them.
00:20:19
Speaker
And like, it's basically justifying men's emotional abuse if women don't have sex with them.
00:20:23
Speaker
And I'm like, what is sexy about a guy trying to emotionally manipulate you into sex?
00:20:27
Speaker
Nothing.
00:20:28
Speaker
So if he's getting into right-wing propaganda, he's absolutely on the path where they're telling him, like, if your wife doesn't have sex with you this amount of times, she's not doing her God-given duty.
00:20:38
Speaker
Like, God made one man and one female, you know...
Biblical Interpretations: Song of Solomon Discussion
00:20:43
Speaker
I love that accent, Rob.
00:20:44
Speaker
Please do that voice for me.
00:20:46
Speaker
Male and female, he created them.
00:20:48
Speaker
I think also the Christianity today is just such a crapshoot of what it should be because even though it's often commonly believed that the Bible is very anti-sex and it's very one-sided towards the man, which part of it is true, but...
00:21:04
Speaker
At the same time, there's also like an entire book.
00:21:06
Speaker
I think it's called The Song of Solomon.
00:21:08
Speaker
That's basically about a man and a woman just enjoying each other's bodies, having really cool sex, being really romantic.
00:21:14
Speaker
I mean, it's just Bible porn, though.
00:21:17
Speaker
Bible porn?
00:21:19
Speaker
What?
00:21:21
Speaker
I mean, but it's interesting, but that is never taught in sermons.
00:21:24
Speaker
That book is ignored in sermons.
00:21:27
Speaker
You know, why is that?
00:21:28
Speaker
But then you hear from idiots like Paul the Apostle, who was like, you can only not have sex if you both agree that you don't want to have it.
00:21:34
Speaker
So basically, if a woman doesn't want to have sex with her husband anymore, for whatever reason, like she needs his mutual agreement before they can stop having sex.
00:21:41
Speaker
Like, I think Paul was a slight incel, to be honest, from the sounds of it.
00:21:44
Speaker
100% incel.
00:21:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:47
Speaker
100%.
00:21:47
Speaker
But it's just like, you know, why is that book?
00:21:50
Speaker
It was basically like, because I basically read the Bible in a year when I was super religious.
00:21:53
Speaker
And I was honestly shocked at that book because it's so different to what we know or to what Christianity nowadays teaches about sex.
00:22:01
Speaker
I've never heard of that book until I read the whole thing.
00:22:04
Speaker
And I'm like, damn.
00:22:05
Speaker
So the Bible isn't anti-sex in the way that it's taught.
00:22:08
Speaker
I mean, I learned about Song of Solomon and they do put that it's like the basically the long, like gratuitous description of sex and like a woman's body that Solomon does.
00:22:18
Speaker
But again, I just feel like it's biblical porn.
00:22:20
Speaker
I guess it feels like some scrote that's just describing his wife in like this mad, like sexual way that we're supposed to feel like is inspiring.
00:22:27
Speaker
But it still feels like objectifying as hell to me.
00:22:30
Speaker
Yeah, I get that.
00:22:31
Speaker
Okay, I'm reading it now.
00:22:32
Speaker
It's not that long.
00:22:33
Speaker
Can I just read the first few lines?
00:22:35
Speaker
Because that's really... Just to give a little teaser to the listeners who are like, what the fuck are they talking about?
00:22:39
Speaker
It's like, the song of songs to Solomon.
00:22:42
Speaker
The bride confesses her love.
00:22:43
Speaker
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is better than wine.
00:22:47
Speaker
Your anointing oils are fragrant.
00:22:49
Speaker
Fragrant?
00:22:50
Speaker
Fragrant.
00:22:52
Speaker
Fragrant.
00:22:52
Speaker
Fragrant.
00:22:53
Speaker
That's wrong with my pronunciation.
00:22:54
Speaker
Fragrant.
00:22:56
Speaker
Your name is oil poured out.
00:22:57
Speaker
Therefore, virgins love you.
00:22:59
Speaker
Draw me after you.
00:23:00
Speaker
Let us run.
00:23:01
Speaker
The king has brought me into his chambers.
00:23:03
Speaker
What?
00:23:05
Speaker
What?
00:23:05
Speaker
That's in the Bible?
00:23:07
Speaker
Yes.
00:23:07
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:23:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:09
Speaker
Doesn't this just sound like some fake like porn set up to you?
00:23:12
Speaker
Like it just sounds like some fake dialogue they're giving to a woman to set up the rest of the shit where he just goes in about her body.
00:23:18
Speaker
I guess it was more, though, like the way I don't know.
00:23:21
Speaker
I mean, for me, though, I still think that book or that narrative, it basically stands apart from the way like sex is subsequently taught about in the Bible, because it's the only even though I guess biblically, like looking back, it still has a very, very misogynistic spin.
00:23:35
Speaker
But it seems to be the only part of the Bible where sex can be somewhat enjoyable for the woman and it can be a mutual activity.
00:23:42
Speaker
So when he starts talking about her body and the stuff that they're doing, it seems like the most mutual exchange, if you see what I mean.
00:23:48
Speaker
Anytime, you know, sex is like spoken about anywhere else in the Bible, it's basically don't do it.
00:23:53
Speaker
And if it is like spoken about in the context of a marriage, it still has so many rules.
00:23:57
Speaker
God will smite you!
00:23:59
Speaker
That yeah, basically like Sodom and Gomorrah.
00:24:01
Speaker
Okay, I read ahead some more.
00:24:03
Speaker
It was like, my beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh that lies between my breasts.
00:24:07
Speaker
Whoa!
00:24:08
Speaker
There's more like, you go to like, I think it's chapter seven.
00:24:11
Speaker
It's like... I don't even know the chapters.
00:24:12
Speaker
That's what I'm saying.
00:24:13
Speaker
Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand.
00:24:16
Speaker
Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine.
00:24:19
Speaker
Your belly is a heap of wheat encircled with lilies.
00:24:22
Speaker
Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.
00:24:25
Speaker
Isn't that cute?
00:24:27
Speaker
Did you memorize that?
00:24:28
Speaker
Are you reading that?
00:24:29
Speaker
No, I'm reading.
00:24:29
Speaker
Oh, hell no, I didn't memorize this.
00:24:31
Speaker
Okay.
00:24:33
Speaker
I'm reading it.
00:24:37
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:24:37
Speaker
Wow.
00:24:37
Speaker
We just read Bible porn.
00:24:39
Speaker
Anyways.
00:24:41
Speaker
That's what I'm saying.
00:24:41
Speaker
I was like, every time I read this, it's like, she's like, yeah, you know, the woman just seems very passive.
00:24:46
Speaker
And then like, he's like all like, it just sounds like a very pornographic description to me.
00:24:51
Speaker
But I mean, I stand.
00:24:52
Speaker
No, I'm kidding.
00:24:53
Speaker
I stand Bible porn.
00:24:55
Speaker
I haven't read the whole thing, but I just think me as a godless heathen, I love the juxtaposition of like Bible porn.
00:25:04
Speaker
I don't know why that's just like delightful to me.
00:25:06
Speaker
I just I just learned this for the first time today.
00:25:08
Speaker
So thank you.
Marriage Red Flags and Financial Dynamics
00:25:10
Speaker
It's such a juxtaposition to like the general doom and gloom of sex head in the Bible.
00:25:15
Speaker
I just find it so different.
00:25:16
Speaker
Exactly.
00:25:17
Speaker
Thy two breasts are like two young rows that are twins.
00:25:19
Speaker
I mean, this is incel, like, porn shit.
00:25:22
Speaker
But where do incels comment on women's breasts, though, apart from when they want to tear us down?
00:25:26
Speaker
The joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning worksman.
00:25:31
Speaker
Like...
00:25:32
Speaker
I mean, I kind of think that's adorable in a way.
00:25:34
Speaker
Like, the whole, like, my lover is like a sachet of myrrh between my breasts.
00:25:39
Speaker
I was like, whoa, okay, that's like some steamy shit.
00:25:42
Speaker
But like, yeah, the...
00:25:46
Speaker
Like, wow.
00:25:47
Speaker
Okay.
00:25:49
Speaker
Anyways, back to the question.
00:25:50
Speaker
I love how every time someone asks a question, we want a random tangent.
00:25:53
Speaker
Anyways, hope you enjoyed that.
00:25:55
Speaker
It's just to bring everyone else up to speed about the Bible and like what we're talking about when we're talking about how the Bible talks about sex.
00:26:02
Speaker
So let's just finish the discussion.
00:26:04
Speaker
Then we'll talk about some more of the details.
00:26:05
Speaker
But the reason why I went off is because I was like, oh yeah, that's a massive red flag.
00:26:09
Speaker
I'll be able to be kinder to you if you sleep with me more.
00:26:10
Speaker
It's hard for me to want to be kind if you aren't having sex.
00:26:12
Speaker
That's the last sentence I said.
00:26:14
Speaker
That's like really coercive, actually.
00:26:16
Speaker
And so OP writes, truthfully, I'm very torn.
00:26:18
Speaker
If these things happen in a dating relationship, of course, I'd end it.
00:26:21
Speaker
I'm very dependent on him having no family besides a brother who has offered his house if I decide to move out.
00:26:26
Speaker
Furthermore, me and my husband have a mortgage together and the cherry on top.
00:26:29
Speaker
He put 50K of our 65K savings into crypto.
00:26:32
Speaker
Oh, Lord.
00:26:33
Speaker
No.
00:26:36
Speaker
Oh no.
00:26:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:26:38
Speaker
I'm 25 and he's 31.
00:26:39
Speaker
We met when I was 21 and we got married by 22.
00:26:42
Speaker
Dressed laughing because this sounds like the horror story you read on our relationships, but it's my life.
00:26:46
Speaker
Goodness.
00:26:47
Speaker
So basically they got married when she was 22 and he was 28.
00:26:50
Speaker
That's slightly problematic.
00:26:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:53
Speaker
Fucking hell.
00:26:54
Speaker
Uh, he's six years older than her.
00:26:56
Speaker
So yeah.
00:26:57
Speaker
So like, I think if it's more than a five year age gap and one of the parties is under 25, I'm kind of sus.
00:27:04
Speaker
I was going to say that same.
00:27:05
Speaker
Cause at 22, you're still like, I couldn't fathom.
00:27:09
Speaker
You're still mentally a child.
00:27:11
Speaker
I meet like 22 year old guys at work and I'm their boss.
00:27:14
Speaker
And these like guys are flirting with me, but they're like children to me.
00:27:18
Speaker
Like the idea of anything happening between me and them just makes me feel dirty.
00:27:22
Speaker
Right.
00:27:22
Speaker
And so I'm like, how do men, you know, the genders are reversed, but the age gap is the same.
00:27:27
Speaker
Like, how do they rationalize that to themselves?
00:27:29
Speaker
It's disgusting.
00:27:30
Speaker
So to answer your question, I guess we'll dissect when we do end of marriage versus a relationship.
00:27:36
Speaker
In this case, these are massive, massive red flags like him going down the red pill.
00:27:41
Speaker
This definitely sounds like a guy who's getting red pilled and then he was really dumb enough to put your savings in crypto.
00:27:47
Speaker
So he's the type of person that is ripe for that kind of grift.
00:27:51
Speaker
So it makes me worried for both his like general judgment as a person, as well as the fact that he's specifically going down this red pill path.
00:27:59
Speaker
So I'm like, personally, I would abandon ship.
00:28:01
Speaker
But I also think maybe if he hasn't shown anything up until this, like maybe might be able to figure out if it's temporary and maybe go to counseling, like attempt to go to counseling and just like steer his heads out and see if he can snap out of it.
00:28:13
Speaker
But like with the age gap and him specifically...
00:28:17
Speaker
falling for this shit makes me feel he's either maybe massively too immature to be married and also that he may get worse in which case that's going to be very dangerous for you so i would definitely be like secretly planning to my escape this doesn't read to me like you have to leave right now but you should definitely like start giving yourself an escape hatch and then at the time like tell him like we need to go to counseling like this is unacceptable like set a boundary
00:28:41
Speaker
I don't think counselling's a good idea.
00:28:43
Speaker
I would temporarily separate, honestly.
00:28:45
Speaker
I think this is the chronic issue and counselling, especially when there is clearly abuse going on, it's too late.
00:28:52
Speaker
Like, it's not going to work.
00:28:53
Speaker
And I partly think that this is sort of where I, I mean, I guess I personally don't, like, see, because I personally see marriage as, like, purely a business decision.
00:29:03
Speaker
That's not that I'm not going to love the person that I marry, but I wouldn't, like, marry, like, somebody unless...
00:29:08
Speaker
there was a financial benefit to it.
00:29:10
Speaker
So I see it a bit differently, but I believe that if the terms of the marriage have been broken, which they have been in that he's not the person that you thought he was, he's abusing you, then it's completely okay to walk away just without working on the, or like for example, working on the relationship equitation marks at all, because he's,
00:29:27
Speaker
By sending in this question, it's clear that she has tried to figure it out, that she's trying to, I guess, adapt her behavior to what he is doing and it hasn't worked.
00:29:38
Speaker
So to be honest, I'd even say just abandon ship.
00:29:40
Speaker
Like you're young, you can start again.
00:29:42
Speaker
Don't get sucked into the whole, I don't want to get divorced.
00:29:45
Speaker
And do you know what?
00:29:45
Speaker
Part of the reason why I think divorce stigma tends to be worse towards women is that divorce is a way out for women out of shitty marriages.
00:29:52
Speaker
And so if society stigmatizes, you know, women getting divorced, like women are less likely going to see it as a way out of a shitty relationship.
00:30:00
Speaker
And again, who does that benefit?
00:30:01
Speaker
Shitty men.
00:30:02
Speaker
So I just abandoned chips this.
00:30:04
Speaker
Yeah, she's 26.
00:30:06
Speaker
Oh, she's 25.
00:30:07
Speaker
She's young.
00:30:08
Speaker
Yeah, you got lots of time to find a new husband.
00:30:10
Speaker
She's young.
00:30:10
Speaker
Get out now.
00:30:12
Speaker
The only reason I say like try marital counseling is like, I mean, I don't know.
00:30:16
Speaker
I feel like if you marry someone and if they're not like, if you don't feel like they're a danger to you, like maybe you owe it to your spouse.
00:30:21
Speaker
I don't know if I maybe personally feel that way to like try one more time than you would in a relationship you weren't married.
00:30:27
Speaker
Yeah, the original question.
00:30:29
Speaker
Okay, so the original question was like, you know, if you're if there's something wrong with your husband, do you like what was the original question?
00:30:35
Speaker
It was like, do you put more effort into trying to fix an imperfect relationship?
00:30:39
Speaker
Yeah, do you think when would you end a marriage versus relationship?
00:30:41
Speaker
Do you think marriages are worth doing more work and making more exceptions for after the initial vetting process?
00:30:46
Speaker
So I want to reframe the question a little bit, because the reason why we have the vetting with FDS is to try to prevent a situation where you're in a marriage and you're like, this is a guy where if we were dating, I'd break up with him.
00:30:58
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:30:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:00
Speaker
So the goal, it's like if you're in this situation, it's almost like I wouldn't say it's too late, but I would say that, you know, if you're married and you're finding yourself like, oh,
00:31:08
Speaker
this person has traits that if we were dating, I would break up with them.
00:31:10
Speaker
Like if it was minor, like, I don't know.
00:31:12
Speaker
I'm trying to think of like, what's a minor thing that I would tolerate in marriage, but would break up with in dating.
00:31:17
Speaker
I can't think of a single example.
00:31:18
Speaker
Right.
00:31:18
Speaker
But if it's something like petty, like, and you have kids and a house together, then maybe, okay.
00:31:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:23
Speaker
If it's like,
00:31:23
Speaker
small and it's not related to abuse and it's not driving you crazy or anything like that, then okay, maybe, yeah, you learn to put up, maybe.
00:31:30
Speaker
But like, I'm talking about like small things, like, I don't know, they wear mismatching prints or something like, you know, really petty, right?
00:31:37
Speaker
Not like fundamental, like disrespect.
00:31:39
Speaker
I gambled all our life savings on bullshit.
00:31:41
Speaker
Yeah, actually, that actually makes me most mad.
00:31:46
Speaker
The biggest thing, actually, and I wanted to follow up with what Savannah said about seeing marriage as a business contract.
00:31:51
Speaker
That's the other thing is you are allowed to walk from an unfavorable business relationship.
00:31:56
Speaker
It happens in business all the time, actually.
00:31:58
Speaker
Companies dissolve, partners quit.
00:32:00
Speaker
It's harder, but it does happen, right?
00:32:02
Speaker
And it does happen all the time where businesses...
00:32:05
Speaker
you know, people will decide to partner up and have a business together.
00:32:08
Speaker
And then if one person makes an extremely bad financial decision without consulting the other partner, yeah, a lot of the times the business like ends, like they decide the partner that was scored decides like, fuck this, like we can't recover from this, or they decide to walk away, right?
00:32:21
Speaker
That happens all the time, actually.
00:32:24
Speaker
So yeah, I think honestly, just the whole 50,000 in crypto alone, that would be like, imagine if you paired up with someone to start a restaurant, and then they decided to like, I don't know, order $50,000 of like,
00:32:34
Speaker
food that was you end up having to throw away because of a stupid decision or something i don't know like imagine wasting that much money and then you're both fucked it's like may as well at that point just sell the business try to recoup your loss as much as you can and move on at that point the business relationship is damaged you can't continue working together honestly at that point
00:32:53
Speaker
I think for me, I just draw the line if there's any hint of abuse, if you're dating somebody or in a marriage, it's like that's a death blow to the relationship because abusive people don't change.
00:33:03
Speaker
Like this is the number one thing that Lindy Bancroft said is that they do not change.
00:33:07
Speaker
So there is no point sticking around because it will only get worse.
00:33:10
Speaker
So I think you can work on issues of marriage.
00:33:13
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:33:13
Speaker
As long as there is not abuse in the marriage or in the relationship.
00:33:17
Speaker
If it's abuse, then it's you need to discard it.
00:33:20
Speaker
I'd say.
00:33:21
Speaker
Yeah, the line about like, I would treat you better if you had sex with me more, that's coercive control.
00:33:25
Speaker
Like, dumb.
00:33:26
Speaker
Immediately.
00:33:27
Speaker
It's coercive.
00:33:28
Speaker
And the fact that I wouldn't be surprised if this guy eventually baby trapped her because he's saying things like, oh, because you're pro-choice.
00:33:35
Speaker
So he's assuming, I'm assuming that he's not pro-choice.
00:33:38
Speaker
It's also when she says, you know, my husband, that he's gotten more conservative the longer we've been married.
00:33:42
Speaker
So his views are getting worse over time.
00:33:45
Speaker
This isn't someone you have a future with, I'm sorry.
00:33:47
Speaker
Or a happy future with.
00:33:49
Speaker
I think I agree with you guys, and I might actually change my answer to be like, it is, since she's saying, like, she's kind of dependent on him right now, I'm trying to give you, like, buy you some time here, but, like, you definitely probably need to wrap this marriage the fuck up, because the biggest red flags... Just take your brother's house and bail.
00:34:04
Speaker
Yeah, and the other thing, too, is if he's this...
00:34:06
Speaker
financially irresponsible and you're still married, it could affect you as well.
00:34:10
Speaker
So I think in this case, like reading this, like it's obvious that this marriage is not beneficial for you anymore.
00:34:15
Speaker
The question is, is like, do you owe him anything at all?
00:34:18
Speaker
And like, I think Lilith Savannah is saying like, no, fuck it.
00:34:22
Speaker
Jump ship actually in agreement with them.
00:34:24
Speaker
Do not have a baby with him at all.
00:34:26
Speaker
Don't have a baby with him at all.
00:34:28
Speaker
Especially not like this yet.
00:34:29
Speaker
Cause you'll be stuck.
00:34:30
Speaker
That'd probably be like the only thing.
00:34:31
Speaker
Here's the thing.
00:34:32
Speaker
If you're married and you don't have kids together, I'm so quick to, I'm like so quick to be like divorced.
00:34:36
Speaker
Like it's so much easier when you don't have kids.
00:34:39
Speaker
Once you have kids, it's a lot more difficult.
00:34:41
Speaker
And you know, yeah, I can, divorce can traumatize the kids.
00:34:43
Speaker
So you have to like weigh the cost.
00:34:45
Speaker
You have to do your own cost benefit analysis.
00:34:47
Speaker
Like does the potential harms, is the marriage like,
00:34:51
Speaker
you know, bad enough that like it outweighs the potential harms of like divorce, then yes, divorce, like the harms are so high, like, you know, to stay together would be more harmful than to divorce.
00:35:01
Speaker
Does that make sense?
00:35:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:03
Speaker
So you have no kids.
00:35:04
Speaker
You're still more than young enough to get remarried and have more kids if you want to.
00:35:08
Speaker
He's irresponsible with money and he's spiraling into the red pill conservative atmosphere.
00:35:12
Speaker
Like all those are terrifying, but also like gives you, it gives you more of a reason to end the marriage with little consequence to yourself.
00:35:19
Speaker
So I think you should wrap this marriage up, honestly.
00:35:21
Speaker
Like you're 25, you're young.
00:35:23
Speaker
You can, you can find a non-scrope to settle down.
00:35:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:27
Speaker
And the age gap was never good.
00:35:29
Speaker
It doesn't have to be like, you don't have to see, like, I'm also a big proponent of like not seeing relationships as having to last forever or even a long time or a life sentence.
00:35:39
Speaker
Like the minute a relationship stops being, you know, enjoyable or fun for me, or the work starts outweighing any benefits, I'm gone.
00:35:47
Speaker
And I don't think that it isn't a failure to bail on a relationship that isn't working for you, in my opinion.
00:35:53
Speaker
Yeah, leave and then like absolutely fleece him in court so he can call in the manosphere and talk about how the FDS bitch has told his ex-wife to divorce rape him.
00:36:03
Speaker
So yeah, good luck, sis.
00:36:07
Speaker
So yeah, this guy can get fucked.
00:36:08
Speaker
Yeah, good luck, sis.
00:36:10
Speaker
Yeah, good luck, sis.
00:36:11
Speaker
And keep yourself safe.
00:36:12
Speaker
Yeah, keep yourself safe.
00:36:13
Speaker
Yeah, let us know what happened.
00:36:14
Speaker
We're kind of curious too because we've given our advice here.
00:36:18
Speaker
Let us know what you did.
00:36:19
Speaker
And we're rooting for you.
00:36:20
Speaker
So all the best, sis.
00:36:21
Speaker
Yeah, I think I'm switching you guys.
00:36:23
Speaker
It's like, get rid of this motherfucker.
00:36:24
Speaker
Yeah, get rid of this guy.
00:36:26
Speaker
Actually, don't fuck this guy.
00:36:28
Speaker
Do the opposite.
00:36:29
Speaker
Yeah, fuck this guy.
00:36:30
Speaker
Like, you don't got kids.
00:36:30
Speaker
Like, he's about to spend all your life savings.
00:36:33
Speaker
He's going to be one of these guys on the Manosphere just being like, oh, like, yeah, like you said, these FDS bitches, like, told my ex-bitch ex-wife to, you know, divorce rate me.
00:36:42
Speaker
Oh, my life is so horrible.
00:36:43
Speaker
Like, you know, I'm going to go dread game some 20-year-old.
00:36:46
Speaker
Like...
00:36:52
Speaker
It sounds like she's financially dependent on him, but like if your brother's giving you an escape hatch, yeah, take it.
00:36:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:57
Speaker
And if you need to buy yourself time because you really don't have any money to stand in your own two feet, then like buy yourself time with counseling, but try to end your marriage like behind the scenes.
00:37:05
Speaker
All right.
00:37:06
Speaker
So we have next on the docket is a skirt strike back question from David.
Casual Relationships and Commitment Issues
00:37:12
Speaker
If a man is looking for a casual relationship, is that a red flag?
00:37:15
Speaker
What does anyone who isn't me understand looking for a casual relationship to mean?
00:37:20
Speaker
So, I mean, my number one problem with men who are seeking casual, quote unquote, casual relationships is that they're basically just like using women for sex.
00:37:28
Speaker
Like they're basically using women as like a, you know, a hole that they can stick their dick into.
00:37:33
Speaker
They generally don't care about the woman's pleasure.
00:37:35
Speaker
They just want to get off.
00:37:36
Speaker
Right.
00:37:37
Speaker
I've said before, like, again, I support double standards against men between men and women.
00:37:42
Speaker
It's only fair because we live in an unequal world.
00:37:44
Speaker
So I think it's fine if women want a casual relationship.
00:37:47
Speaker
I think it's fine to use men for sex.
00:37:49
Speaker
But I think it's not nice for men to use women for sex.
00:37:52
Speaker
And so I immediately don't trust men who are looking for casual relationships.
00:37:56
Speaker
I mean, I actually agreed with Lilith.
00:37:57
Speaker
So before we jumped on this call, I was like, well, I don't think it matters as long as he's honest.
00:38:02
Speaker
But actually, I've been listening to what Lilith said and the way men talk about the women they are in casual relationships with.
00:38:09
Speaker
So they have no respect for them.
00:38:11
Speaker
They don't see any reason to make sure that they're sexually satisfied.
00:38:15
Speaker
I actually agree as well.
00:38:16
Speaker
And then the other thing with casual sex is that it lowers the bar for all men.
00:38:21
Speaker
because the bar of entry is generally quite low, they then carry that around with them as well and project that onto other women, like generally speaking too.
00:38:30
Speaker
And another thing is that a lot of men, because they don't have the sexual or the Casanova capital to outright demand a casual relationship from a woman because she'll tell him to get fucked or to not get fucked,
00:38:42
Speaker
They often resort to deception to get their casual sex.
00:38:45
Speaker
So this is where you get things like situationships.
00:38:48
Speaker
This is where you get even, you know, some, you know, men, they will get into relationships in quotation marks just to have a guaranteed pussy supply.
00:38:56
Speaker
But it's a relationship in all but name.
00:38:58
Speaker
Everything about it is casual.
00:38:59
Speaker
So she won't meet his family.
00:39:01
Speaker
She's not going to appear on his social media.
00:39:03
Speaker
He's still acting single.
00:39:04
Speaker
Yeah, he's acting single.
00:39:05
Speaker
He'll start talking about poly and all that shit.
00:39:07
Speaker
So I just think that ultimately because, again, like Lila said, the sexual dynamic is so, in a way, it's completely stacked against men's favour.
00:39:16
Speaker
If they do want a casual relationship, almost 10 times out of 10, they're going to have to resort to some sort of deception or manipulation of women to get that relationship.
00:39:25
Speaker
And so that's why I'm like, the fact that they have to lie to get casual sex is another reason why I don't trust.
00:39:30
Speaker
Again, I'm justified in not trusting many who want casual relationships.
00:39:33
Speaker
And also it's like, why would you want just a casual relationship?
00:39:36
Speaker
Like, what about a serious relationship is it that you don't want?
00:39:40
Speaker
The only situation I can think of is like, you know, maybe you're planning on moving in like six months to a year or something, but you still want to like date.
00:39:47
Speaker
I could sort of see that if there's like an inherent time limit, like just the circumstances of your life change or something like that, maybe.
00:39:53
Speaker
But like, or if you have a job that involves traveling a lot and you know, you're not in the same place for a long time, I can maybe understand that.
00:39:59
Speaker
But if you're living in the same city, you're not planning on moving.
00:40:02
Speaker
What is it about a serious relationship?
00:40:05
Speaker
Like what traits of a serious relationship do you not want?
00:40:08
Speaker
It sort of speaks to that.
00:40:09
Speaker
Their value system, right?
00:40:11
Speaker
It does.
00:40:11
Speaker
And it also indicates they've got issues with attachment.
00:40:13
Speaker
Like, it's well documented in research that people who actively seek out casual relationships, their ability to bond with intimate partners is compromised.
00:40:22
Speaker
Like, so, and all of the guys who I knew who went into casual relationships, they had serious problems with...
00:40:28
Speaker
attachment and being a stable partner for women because ultimately getting into that sort of relationship especially repeatedly is going to limit your ability to effectively pair bond with another person and so even when they did find somebody that they really really liked and got into a relationship with they would jeopardize it by saying can we have an open relationship for example
00:40:47
Speaker
You want to know the funny thing?
00:40:49
Speaker
So the men in the manosphere, they've been saying for years, like, oh, women with a body count above two or whatever are incapable of pair bonding with men, yada, yada, yada.
00:40:57
Speaker
This idea of, like, women with a high body count can't bond with, you know, can't pair bond or whatever is a complete projection.
00:41:03
Speaker
I've actually found the opposite to be true.
00:41:05
Speaker
I found, like...
00:41:06
Speaker
But women who were like virginal and stuff when they were younger, when they get married and they get older, that's when they cheat because they didn't have their hoe phase when they were younger, right?
00:41:13
Speaker
It's like you have to have your hoe.
00:41:15
Speaker
I don't think you have to have a hoe phase, by the way.
00:41:16
Speaker
But I do notice, you know, men complain like, oh, my girl was like wild when she was younger.
00:41:21
Speaker
Now she wants to settle down, yada, yada, yada.
00:41:23
Speaker
I mean, I think that's a pretty normal life trajectory.
00:41:25
Speaker
It's like for women, it's like you realize, oh, all this like casual sex wasn't worth it.
00:41:29
Speaker
What really matters is like love and connection and having someone that you can share life with and stuff.
00:41:34
Speaker
Right.
00:41:34
Speaker
I find with men, it's the opposite.
00:41:36
Speaker
They tend to, when men go through a whole phase, it actually does affect their ability to pair bond.
00:41:40
Speaker
This whole idea that women can't pair bond if they have a certain body count is complete projection.
00:41:45
Speaker
Anyways, we got off topic.
00:41:47
Speaker
What was the question?
00:41:48
Speaker
Sorry.
00:41:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:49
Speaker
So his question is just like, is the red flag?
00:41:50
Speaker
And then the answer is, yeah.
00:41:51
Speaker
Like, I think for 90% of women, they're going to see that as a red flag because it's always an uneven exchange, right?
00:41:58
Speaker
Like there's just so many men who want to keep it casual, so to speak.
00:42:01
Speaker
And they're all not worth, their dick is not worth the skin that it contains.
00:42:07
Speaker
I fucked that joke up.
00:42:08
Speaker
Like their dick is not, their dick is not worth the skin it's stitched together with.
00:42:12
Speaker
So yeah.
00:42:15
Speaker
Anybody who was going to understand a casual relationship is like free prostitution.
00:42:20
Speaker
Like, you know, guys who want a casual relationship, they kind of remind me of those people who go around with like coupons trying to get as much shit as they can for free.
00:42:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:29
Speaker
Like, that's like their energy, right?
00:42:31
Speaker
Like, how can I get as much as I can?
00:42:33
Speaker
How can I maximally benefit myself and not have to pay anything?
00:42:37
Speaker
I only want to receive.
00:42:38
Speaker
I don't want to give.
00:42:39
Speaker
That's what guys who are looking for casual relationships are like.
00:42:42
Speaker
Like, it's like just weird.
00:42:44
Speaker
It's cringy.
00:42:45
Speaker
I mean, it's not weird because it's actually very common, but I just think those people are, I don't relate to them.
00:42:50
Speaker
I don't like get them, you know?
00:42:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:42:52
Speaker
So...
00:42:54
Speaker
We answered that question from David.
00:42:56
Speaker
So before we wrap, we're going to add one little feature to this.
00:43:00
Speaker
Just one little freebie.
00:43:01
Speaker
Little freebie on our end, which is like roasting the funniest reasons why people quit our Patreon.
00:43:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:07
Speaker
Most people quit our Patreon for financial reasons.
00:43:09
Speaker
And I understand that, you know, it's a tough economy.
00:43:11
Speaker
So no hate there.
00:43:12
Speaker
But some people quit the Patreon for literally the dumbest fucking reasons.
00:43:16
Speaker
And this is the probably the stupidest one, actually.
00:43:18
Speaker
I just wanted to laugh at it.
00:43:19
Speaker
So this person canceled this because we made fun of Alec Vade Menon.
00:43:24
Speaker
So she writes, making fun of Alec Vade Menon, what did they ever do to you?
00:43:28
Speaker
You mentioned the unfairness of punching down in the Will Smith episode.
00:43:31
Speaker
I see that as a punch down.
00:43:33
Speaker
Have you read their writings?
00:43:34
Speaker
Unfortunately, some of it and yes, and it's a problem, but we'll get into that.
00:43:38
Speaker
Didn't this Alec Vade Menon person say that like little girls can be kinky and that like little girls have sexual desires and stuff like this guy's a fucking like groomer, like...
00:43:48
Speaker
I know this word's been banned from social media, but it's like, this person's a creep.
00:43:52
Speaker
If you don't know who Alec Vade Menon is, they are
Criticism of Alok Vaid-Menon's Views
00:43:59
Speaker
a non-binary performance artist.
00:44:02
Speaker
Looks like Fozzie Bear got hit with a clown makeup gun.
00:44:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:06
Speaker
Is the best way I could try to describe the way Alec Vade Menon looks like.
00:44:10
Speaker
Just everything they do is offensive to the senses.
00:44:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:14
Speaker
Here's the thing.
00:44:15
Speaker
I actually don't mind if men want to wear dresses or wear makeup and stuff, but it's like, what gets me is that if a woman dressed like Alec Vidmanon, she'd get like dragged to oblivion.
00:44:25
Speaker
And Alec is not a man.
00:44:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:29
Speaker
Alec is a they.
00:44:31
Speaker
Is a they.
00:44:31
Speaker
Is a...
00:44:33
Speaker
I find... It's like, okay, I just find it offensive with this, like, your eyes can recognize the male secondary sex characteristics, right?
00:44:42
Speaker
I don't like the power move of being made to pretend to, like, I don't see what my eyes see, you know?
00:44:48
Speaker
Anyways, so this person will just wear, like, the ugliest fucking dresses, like, different colors, mismatching prints, like, literally...
00:44:55
Speaker
like ill-fitting if a woman dressed like that she'd be dragged to oblivion she'd like go viral for being like how for oh she's so ugly whatever you know people would cyber bully her and the gaudy makeup as well like it's just who are you kidding i'm just a
00:45:09
Speaker
offended that like a male can dress this way and like be hug boxed like yes oh my god queen like celebrating diversity yada yada yada kind of thing so that's why i know this person canceled because we made fun of this person i just wanted to double down on making fun of this person let me just read the rest of this comment and we'll just go back in on alec fade menon so i think it's actually a look fade menon alok yeah
00:45:32
Speaker
There's a compelling reason for their not shaving.
00:45:34
Speaker
For the quirky fashion, trans and NB people face as much discrimination in society as cishet women do.
00:45:39
Speaker
So to hear you all cackling about it was disappointing and unnecessary.
00:45:43
Speaker
I'm not sure if you all just haven't done your research as deeply on queer issues as women's issues, or you have and you just do not care.
00:45:49
Speaker
Not sure which is worse.
00:45:51
Speaker
I really appreciated everything you posted, but when I think about you pumping trans people in with the misogynistic men and saying they make everything about them, it gives me an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance, which I won't maintain.
00:46:02
Speaker
Sis, you're going to get grifted by men your whole life.
00:46:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:05
Speaker
Like I'm reading this and I'm like, if you can't tell that Alokveid Menon, Alokveid Menon is taking the piss and this is entirely a grift.
00:46:14
Speaker
don't understand these women where they'll like they'll agree with fds like yeah like men lie like you shouldn't believe what men said yeah men exploit women men lie they are sexually depraved whatever but as soon as a man says oh i'm non-binary i'm a woman they just like believe them right are you that fucking gullible right yeah like how can you mistrust men and then the moment they say that one thing it's like okay now i believe you right the moment they change their pronouns it's like oh so oppressed poor you please yeah
00:46:43
Speaker
Let me be clear.
00:46:44
Speaker
We're going to read a few excerpts of the things that Elok Fade Menon has written that are extremely problematic.
00:46:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:46:50
Speaker
Do you have some samples?
00:46:52
Speaker
I think all the rest of the work you do is really important.
00:46:54
Speaker
It's worth noting that I'm thinking about all the other media sources and considering what area of life or social issue they allow that's harmful in some way.
00:47:01
Speaker
Obviously, one person can't advocate for everything all at once, but it's also possible to be pro something and not bash something else.
00:47:06
Speaker
One more point I'd like to make is that if you read Alok V. Menon's responses to the mocking or hateful comments on their Instagram page, they're the total opposite of FDS.
00:47:14
Speaker
Pretty wild.
00:47:15
Speaker
Anyways, I don't know if you'll read this and I probably won't find out.
00:47:17
Speaker
I hope if you read this
00:47:18
Speaker
message, it becomes something you can learn from or grow from instead of just laughing at my preferences or sensitivity.
00:47:23
Speaker
To be honest, knowing the way cis men screw over trans women, they could benefit from this advice.
00:47:27
Speaker
Wishing you the best.
00:47:28
Speaker
First of all, Eloqvaid Menon is not trans.
00:47:30
Speaker
They're non-binary.
00:47:31
Speaker
They're not transitioned.
00:47:32
Speaker
They've never said they're transitioned.
00:47:33
Speaker
They're just like that kind of
00:47:35
Speaker
femme quote presenting male person.
00:47:39
Speaker
So I think that's an important distinction because once again, it feels more or less, it feels like a grift, right?
00:47:45
Speaker
So this is a person who said very, very problematic things.
00:47:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:49
Speaker
I don't know.
00:47:50
Speaker
Have you heard of like, you know, Stefankini or other like, you know, woo-woo people and it's like,
00:47:56
Speaker
And then wrote an entire article like guilt tripping the queer community because they couldn't get laid, basically saying that they're being discriminated against by males because they didn't want to have sex with a person who clearly has some kind of personality disorder and is grifting everybody.
00:48:11
Speaker
Honestly, it seems like they're actively trying to make themselves physically repulsive to everybody.
00:48:15
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:48:16
Speaker
I feel like Alok and then there's the other non-binary performer or whatever.
00:48:20
Speaker
I can't remember their name, but that was in the same article about like, why can't my queer friends get laid?
00:48:26
Speaker
Article, that one.
00:48:27
Speaker
Or why can't my non-binary queer friends get laid?
00:48:29
Speaker
Kind of question.
00:48:30
Speaker
It's like, it almost feels like a power move on their part to be that repulsive and still expect sex.
00:48:35
Speaker
That's just male entitlement, right?
00:48:37
Speaker
A woman...
00:48:38
Speaker
who's that unattractive wouldn't be like, you know, why won't men fuck me?
00:48:42
Speaker
I don't know.
00:48:42
Speaker
Some maybe will do like the, I don't know.
00:48:44
Speaker
Are there women who do the whole like, oh, it's like bigotry for you to not fuck me.
00:48:48
Speaker
I feel like women mostly just hate themselves and get a fucking eating disorder or whatever.
00:48:52
Speaker
Or become fem cells.
00:48:53
Speaker
But yeah, no, I mean, in this particular instance, I just kind of felt like
00:48:57
Speaker
if you believe everything a male person says to you at face value and never critique it, like you're going to keep getting manipulated.
00:49:06
Speaker
I thought it was particularly weird.
00:49:07
Speaker
And I don't even remember the comment we made about Alokavade Menon, but I thought this is like a hilarious reason to cancel only because of the fact that like,
00:49:13
Speaker
Yeah, if you're the type of person that's going to follow that person, like uncritically, then it's probably best that you... Also, quite frankly, stop expecting us to be nice people, okay?
00:49:24
Speaker
We've been very upfront about that we're bitches, okay?
00:49:27
Speaker
Like, we are not, like, we don't dance around people's feelings, except for maybe, like, women have been, you know, abused and so on, right?
00:49:33
Speaker
Like, we'll feel compassion for women, for female people, right?
00:49:38
Speaker
But stop expecting us to be compassionate towards males, okay?
00:49:41
Speaker
Except for maybe, like, literal children who are...
00:49:43
Speaker
innocent victims of male violence, that kind of stuff.
00:49:46
Speaker
I'll feel compassion for boy, like children, but like adult men, no.
00:49:50
Speaker
It's because women conflate being nice with being kind and they're not the same thing.
00:49:55
Speaker
Being nice is a passive thing.
00:49:56
Speaker
Being kind involves speaking the truth and having boundaries.
00:50:01
Speaker
So being nice as a woman is not going to get you any awards.
00:50:05
Speaker
And if you think about this whole, you know, people like Alok, they were propped up by primarily women for the longest time.
00:50:11
Speaker
Like it was primarily women who were accepting of all this stuff.
00:50:16
Speaker
And now a lot of these women have now become critical of that thing.
00:50:19
Speaker
You know, why do you think that is?
00:50:21
Speaker
Are all these women like hateful bitches who are TERFs who turned overnight?
00:50:25
Speaker
Or have they realized that it is a deeply misogynistic and grifting thing that he's doing?
00:50:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:31
Speaker
So this is like the statement that I think pissed a lot of the female feminists off where Alok Vade Menem was saying, this type of legal carceral culture relies on two things, the construction of morally abhorrent perpetrators and scapegoats and the production of pure innocent victims.
00:50:48
Speaker
In this case, and as in so many cases in the past, those victims are archetypical white cis innocent little girls.
00:50:55
Speaker
We totally need to challenge that white cis
00:50:57
Speaker
christian supremacist right-wing rhetoric around trans bodies absolutely but we also need to seriously overhaul the idea that there is a perfect victim anywhere i believe in the radical notion that little girls like the rest of us are complicated people there are no fairy tales and no princesses here little girls are also queer trans kinky deviant kind mean beautiful ugly tremendous and peculiar your kids aren't as straight and narrow as you think they are like everybody else i've been a cute little girl no you haven't
00:51:22
Speaker
and a gender non-conforming young adult.
00:51:24
Speaker
Let me tell you everywhere along that spectrum, I've been complicated and strange.
00:51:28
Speaker
Yeah, that last part, you've been complicated and strange is correct, but like everything else here is pretty incorrect.
00:51:34
Speaker
And yes, we do correct.
00:51:35
Speaker
Plus the whole like, oh, there's no innocent victims.
00:51:38
Speaker
What does that even mean?
00:51:39
Speaker
Like when I say, oh yeah, victims can be flawed.
00:51:42
Speaker
Like I'm talking about women like Amber Heard who like fight back or whatever.
00:51:45
Speaker
Those women, are they quote unquote perfect victims?
00:51:47
Speaker
No, because the perfect victim is like, yeah, women who don't fight back, women who, you know, it's like a sort of
00:51:52
Speaker
like savannah do you want to comment on this i mean we can keep going so the 1973 horror flick the exorcist is my favorite snapshot of the cultural place of white cis little girls in the film a little girl with a single mother is possessed by the devil from another perspective the little girl is actually exploring her sexuality masturbation and so on and her own demons meanness right doesn't she literally stab her vagina with the cross in that movie like that's sexual violence
00:52:14
Speaker
Obviously, white men from the church have to be brought in to save her since her single mom can't do it alone.
00:52:19
Speaker
I think they brought in a priest.
00:52:20
Speaker
But what if instead of moving from the exorcist model of little girlhood, we move from a place that acknowledges that no one is the perfect pure flower that can be corrupted, that everyone is once capable of receiving and enacting violence, including little girls, that we all give and receive violence to varying degrees.
00:52:33
Speaker
That is not a fair.
00:52:34
Speaker
So no one is purely good or evil.
00:52:35
Speaker
Look around.
00:52:36
Speaker
There are no princesses.
00:52:36
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, no, Elok, Vade Menon.
00:52:39
Speaker
Like we have safeguarding around children because children don't shit.
00:52:43
Speaker
This person trying to like victim blame like little girls.
00:52:46
Speaker
Yeah, that's exactly what's happening.
00:52:48
Speaker
They're basically sexualizing children, sexualizing little girls, basically trying to assert that adult men and little girls have the same amount of agency and responsibility, which is crazy.
00:52:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:58
Speaker
There's like some, so much like Darvo victim blaming, like, yeah, like say, oh, she wanted it.
00:53:03
Speaker
You know, she was asking for it kind of like implications.
00:53:06
Speaker
It's such a dirty, gross sentence.
00:53:09
Speaker
Right.
00:53:09
Speaker
And so, yeah, we're going to make the fucking fun out of a loke, you know, yeah, we're going to roast this person because
00:53:15
Speaker
There's a lot of discussion about like how male people or people who are assigned male at birth, however you view it, and who decide later on to transition to either fully transition to women or become some kind of gender nonconforming male with the pronoun.
00:53:32
Speaker
binary pronouns or non-binary pronouns that Alokveed Menon is.
00:53:35
Speaker
But I think everyone should be in agreement that it's not appropriate to sexualize little girls in this manner and also to try to take away, quote unquote, little girls' innocence to give more leeway for a grown adult men.
00:53:49
Speaker
That's crazy.
00:53:50
Speaker
And say that like, we have to deconstruct the idea that we should safeguard children for the benefit of gross men who want to cross-dress.
00:53:57
Speaker
So sorry, you were mad about that.
00:54:00
Speaker
We don't apologize.
00:54:02
Speaker
Yeah, I want to be very clear.
00:54:03
Speaker
We do not apologize for making fun of Alok.
00:54:06
Speaker
And thank you for canceling.
00:54:07
Speaker
And I hope you have a lovely day.
00:54:09
Speaker
This is where the train stops and we part ways because I kind of hate when I see women do this because I'm like, oh, you're going to get grifted a lot.
00:54:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:17
Speaker
Bye, man.
00:54:18
Speaker
Because I'm like, this is pretty.
00:54:19
Speaker
There's a lot of things that are like, okay, you may not see it coming.
00:54:23
Speaker
But like, if you don't see the grip for what it is when it comes pertains to this person, then I question your judgment on honestly everything.
00:54:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:31
Speaker
So, die mad.
00:54:35
Speaker
Um...
00:54:39
Speaker
Send us more of your complaints to our Patreon.
00:54:43
Speaker
Send us more complaints for managerial review.
00:54:47
Speaker
Questions, Roastus Croats, Queen Chits, Narcissus, whatever you want to do, sign up for Patreon, patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:54:56
Speaker
And you can submit your own to be read aloud on the podcast on a future episode.
00:55:02
Speaker
You can also discuss this episode if you want to roast us on the website too.
00:55:06
Speaker
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00:55:08
Speaker
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00:55:12
Speaker
Also check us out on Twitter at femdatstrat and on our Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
00:55:19
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
00:55:21
Speaker
And if your scrot was built by Fozzie Bear, feel free to cancel.
00:55:24
Speaker
Die bad.