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Sustainable Health Habits: Why Quick Fixes Fall Short (feat. Steve Lutsk)
109 Plays6 months ago
Welcome to another enlightening episode of The Integrated Man Project! Today, your host Travis Goodman sits down with fitness coach and Instagram sensation Steve Lutsk. In this episode, they dive deep into the journey of enhancing physical fitness, mental health, and setting sustainable goals for lasting change. Steve opens up about his own challenges with anxiety and the pressures of rebranding, while Travis shares insights on the power of positive thinking and visualization.
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Steve is a dedicated fitness coach who specializes in helping busy men incorporate fitness and mental health practices into their daily lives. With a focus on long-term sustainable change, Steve integrates physical, mental, and emotional health to promote overall well-being.
HIGHLIGHTS:
1. **Slow and Steady Habit Change**: Steve Lutsk discusses the importance of small, gradual changes in habits over time to achieve significant results in physical fitness, mindset, and goal setting. The analogy of a ship's trajectory highlights how minor adjustments can lead to major consequences over time.
2. **Impact of Positive Thinking**: The episode dives into how positive visualization and gratitude journaling can significantly reduce anxiety and improve mental health. Steve and Travis discuss the concept of manifesting desires and its alignment with trauma therapy, emphasizing the mind's inability to distinguish between real and imagined scenarios.
3. **Quick-Fix Diets vs. Sustainable Habits**: Steve and Travis talk about the prevalence of quick-fix diets like keto and intermittent fasting, pointing out their limitations and the challenges of maintaining them. They stress the importance of embracing wholesome dietary habits that are consistent and effective over the long term.
CHALLENGE QUESTION:
Think about one small habit you can change today that will lead to significant improvements in your life over the next six months. What is it, and how can you start implementing it gradually?
Can't wait for you all to hear this episode! Tune in and let us know your thoughts.
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YouTube: Travis Goodman
Instagram: @integratedmanproject
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Transcript
Introduction to Integrated Man Project
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to this week's episode of the Integrated Man Project podcast. Before we jump into this week's episode, I did want to share about an exclusive membership I want to be launching to help shape the Integrated Man Project community. If this is something you'd be interested in, where you will be co-laboring with me, sharing your ideas, giving input, giving me feedback, part of kind of this process of creating something bigger and better for all men, I would love for you to join. And if this is something you're interested, please reach out to me, email me at integratedmanproject at gmail dot.com. You could also send me a direct message on Instagram as well or on LinkedIn. I would love for you to reach out to me. I would love for you to be part of this exclusive group to help again, shape and form this integrated man community.
00:00:50
Speaker
ah Because as you do this, as we share in this journey together, we're going to create a community of men around the world where we become more grounded, more adaptable, more resilient, and more authentic men. So come on and join. If you're interested in this, please reach out to me. And without further ado, let's get into this week's episode.
Meet Dad Bod Steve: Fitness Integration
00:01:16
Speaker
Welcome everybody. This week's episode of the podcast. Um, I have a good friend of mine, Steve on. If you haven't listed the previous episode of Steve, go back through the archive to find our very first episode. Um, I don't actually know the number off top of my head, but I'm going to leave it in 2022. Was it that wow, you have a better memory than I do of my own podcast. I just looked it up. That's why I looked for the link and then email and the last one from a couple of years came up. So that's fine. Okay. wild ago I thought you had a photographic memory there for a second. I was like, i should that there's a superpower that I did not know that Steve had. So there you have it. I'm excited to have Steve back on again. Um, it was great to have him on the first time. I'm excited for the second round. Um, but before we jump into the topic tonight, Hey, Steve, can you just tell the audience a quick bit about what you do, who you are, kind of what's going on for you? Yeah. Uh, I'm a fitness coach. I'm on Instagram and Tik TOK.
00:02:10
Speaker
as dad bod Steve, so I help busy men get fitness as a bigger part of their lives. I help them with mindset, with workouts, with nutrition and everything that's going to come with living a happier, healthier life in a sustainable fashion. And initially when we met about a year and a half ago, i but the algorithm popped him up in my feed as dad bought Steve. And so and I were initially following him and then reaching out and like, oh, this is great. And so we we had conversations back then and and I wanted him on again.
00:02:43
Speaker
Really based upon kind of exactly his philosophy way to shared um being the podcast being this coaching business and I'm doing of the integrated man project what Steve just laid out what he does is very much in line where he's his primary focus is more and more the physical fitness but he integrates the other aspects and My side is more like the mental psychological piece, but then I'll talk about fitness. I'll talk about those things, but that's like not my expertise. So, you know, similar, we're kind of in the same space, but we have different areas of expertise. And but I want to have him on because I think what he's doing is so, so important because it really is about holistic
00:03:24
Speaker
living, holistic health, being healthy in all these arenas, psychologically, um physically, socially, spiritually, all these arenas. And it's so important. And what Steve is doing is while his primary thing is the physical fitness, he's looking at all the others too, not only with his clients, but with himself. And so without um kind of further ado or more introduction, we're going to jump
Holistic Approach to Life Balance
00:03:45
Speaker
in the topic. So I guess, generally speaking, Steve, when you hear the word kind of being integrated, what does that mean to you in your own personal life as well as the men that you work with? Yeah. Well, whenever somebody joins my program, they think that maybe I'm just going to give them some cool nutrition tips or some killer workouts. And yeah, they get that. But you you really got to incorporate other aspects of your life. And if you want to have
00:04:11
Speaker
full balance. So yeah, you want to take care of your body, but you also want to make sure that you're balancing that with everything else you got going on in your life. You got relationships, got a professional life, you probably have some form of spiritual practice, and you can't just all focus on the physical fitness aspect. why did your Your life's not going to go well, you got bills to pay. so um one But what I've found is that when you're constantly improving, And all of those four general categories, then everything gets affected on a positive positive level. And that's really the the best way to live your happiest, healthiest, most well-rounded life. Yeah. and And I also see that with the the men that I work with within my clinical practice as a therapist, as well as kind of on the coaching side when I'm doing kind of the mind-body work.
00:05:05
Speaker
with them is
Balancing Health with Career and Family
00:05:06
Speaker
that it is kind of examining just like you is, you know, people come to me, and they think, whether it's therapy, they're going to get just therapy or kind of mind body work within the coaching but it is a part of the conversation is the same thing is assessing all these areas of life because they all Interplay and overlap and impact one another for better or for worse um I've worked with a lot of men who might for example be maybe killing it at work You know, maybe they're making the sales they're you know They're they're improving there and they're going up in the company ladder or they're doing well in their business but then when they come to me there's something missing right and there's something else happening maybe a
00:05:44
Speaker
their social relationships are going down, relationship with their you know girlfriend, partner, spouse, whatever, their kids is not going so well, maybe they're drinking a ton, you know, but they're in one area, it looks like they're successful, right? And the standard of what we see as being successful, but behind closed doors, there's a lot of difficulty and stress. Are you seeing that with a lot of the guys that you come to see you initially? Yeah, 100%. And my argument is always, well, you may be doing well at work, but how much better are you going to be doing if you don't get home from work and you're just totally drained and you're not totally drained if you actually have energy because you're taking care of your body or eating nutritious foods. You're not relying on on alcohol to alleviate your stress. You come home and you're actually happy to see someone, the person that you're going to see because you have a strong relationship.
00:06:33
Speaker
So yeah, just because you see someone maybe doing well based on their Instagram pictures, that's the highlight really. You don't get the full picture. So what we want to do is make sure that guys are taking care of all those other aspects because you may be doing well with your career, but you're going to be doing even better when you take care of everything else that you may not be paying too much attention to right now. And with that said, with
Sustainable Habit Changes for Wellness
00:06:58
Speaker
the guys you're working with that come in, what's some of the common themes that you're noticing in their life that is kind of out of balance or not really integrated as when they you know initially come and do an assessment with you. Yeah. Um, and usually it's the type of thing where guys will start families and they'll start focusing more on their careers. So their personal health it goes on the back burner and it's not like they gain 30 pounds over the course of three months. It's over the course of five years, 10 years, a pound, two pounds, three pounds a year. And next thing you know, they look in the mirror.
00:07:30
Speaker
They don't even realize how bad it's become. So they say, man, i'm I'm sick of feeling like a piece of crap. Their words, not mine. I need to do something. I've been following you for a while. It helped me get this handled. So it's my job to help them fit fitness into their life without totally doing an overhaul. They still have to go to work. They still have families to take care of. Now we just have to figure out how to integrate fitness into it so that um we solve this problem that they're having. So they have many more high energy, healthy years ahead of them. No, yeah yeah, you're right. I mean, it's it's interesting you said it that way too. It's that's often a slow decline, a slow trickle effect over the years, over not just three months, but years of that. And I see something similar too within relationships or, you know, I do a lot of couples therapy, for example, and often what I'll see is when a couple comes in, especially when they're in crisis, it's not
00:08:20
Speaker
Hey, in three months, something's gone awry. It's been years of kind of a slow process of not connecting as much. And now it's, they're five years in and it's now they're, you know, they're miles apart. But if they would have came in much sooner, yeah it would have been, it just would have been a misstep, but it's been like this kind of slow decline. And I see it a lot with a lot of things too, themes of that kind of, it's a slow degradation over time. Now, eventually we're way off course, way farther, you know, down the road. It's those small changes in trajectory. So you you point a ship one degree, two degrees in the wrong direction. You don't even really notice it until a couple of days later, a couple of years later on the journey, you're on the wrong continent. So it's not about trying to get back on course right away. It's about changing the trajectory so that another year, two years, three years, you're actually in balance and taking care of yourself. Those small changes in trajectory compounded over time.
00:09:17
Speaker
yield huge results, and that's really what most guys are missing. It's just replacing a couple of their bad habits with a couple of good ones, being being patient, and then ah over the course of a relatively reasonable period of time, they'll look in the mirror and they'll be like, oh wow, yeah, I totally look different. I feel phenomenal from these these habits that I changed. Yeah. And can you speak more of some of the, you know, you kind of previewed it a bit earlier, but um obviously the the primary reason why guys are seeing is the physical fitness piece, whether through um your incredible app that you have, a fitness app, or if they're coming to you like for one-on-one coaching. um So that's your primary kind of gateway in.
00:09:55
Speaker
But then, you know as you mentioned earlier, you really look at these other aspects of their life, their other practices, their mindset, you know other habit formations that they're doing. Can you speak to more to if you took a typical guy in who's coming in and kind of how you start to build a plan for them of different habits around these kind of main areas of life? Yeah, so guys will come in, everybody wants to make a big change, and they think that that means that they need to do a total overhaul. They need to go from eating the typical American diet to eating like an Olympic athlete that they need to go from training zero days a week. Every single person on their application. One of the questions is how many days a week are you willing to work? No one's like man two or three every once in a while, but everybody's like seven days a week. I'll do it. Whatever it takes. That's not going to work out well long-term. So the very first thing that I have guys do is before they do any type of physical exercise, they do mindset exercises where we set some long-term goals, short-term goals.
00:10:50
Speaker
get really really serious do a deep dive on why you really want to do this it's got to go beyond superficial reasons if you're just trying to get in shape for a vacation that you got coming up in three weeks as a man that's not going to move the needle very long so we have to get really really serious with some really really deep reasons as to why you want to change some short term medium long term goal setting and then once we have that, let's say we kind of have that destination and it's just all about reverse engineering how to get there. And the best way to get there is, well, if we, if we have a lot of time, we have to factor in that habits take a long time to change. So we don't want to change too many habits at watch. We want to start really, really small. So maybe start just by implementing some basic intermittent fasting to control calories a little bit, then a few weeks down the line, we could look at, all right, let's get some protein on your plate every single time.
00:11:41
Speaker
You can still do what you're doing. We're just going to make these small changes then. All right. A couple of weeks after that, let's take a look. Do you have any vegetables? All right. Don't worry about taking anything out. Let's just add some vegetables. And what we find is when we change little habits over time, you're a lot more likely to stick to it, especially if you have a big important reason than the long-term outcomes are. are a lot better the way that I design my program versus what guys try on their own. What I found is that the intuitive approach to getting in shape is often wrong because you want to do everything all at once. you ah It's almost like the more more you want to change, the better you want it.
00:12:21
Speaker
the more likely you are to fail in a lot of cases. Cause the last thing you're going to want to do if you have a really important reason to change is be rational and want to go slow. You want to get there as soon as fast as possible and starving yourself, doing a ton of cardio. It may be able to get away with it for a couple of days, but long term it's not going to pan out my man. If we slow it down a little
Understanding Habit Psychology
00:12:42
Speaker
bit and talk more about some of the deeper reasons, what are like maybe the top two or three things as you kind of like get past more of that? Because I'm sure a lot of guys when they first come to see you initially they have those more like heady kind of like over
00:12:53
Speaker
rational kind of yeah not super deep reasons why they want to get better but when you kind of sit with them and go deep deep deep what are like the two or three kind of core things that you find themes of guys saying this is this is why I want to do this yeah well on the surface level every guy comes in says yeah I want to get you know my stomach flatter maybe not a six-pack but like a four-pack we get some biceps my arms were good in college and go, great, man, who doesn't want that? But the biggest reasons, it's different for everybody. What's going to be personal for somebody may ah not be a big deal for someone else, but usually it comes down to longevity, family being there. When guys ah have families, that's a big driver.
00:13:35
Speaker
they They want to be around for for a long time. They want to be around for not just their kids, but their kids' kids. They start looking at what their life's going to be like if they don't do anything now. And I ask them those tough questions. If you don't do anything right now, where are you going to be in 30 years? And a lot of guys, well, it's a question they've never asked them to themselves. And they'll say, well, I'm 47 right now at this rate. Honestly, I will probably be dead at 77 years old. And that's kind of a tough pill to swallow. And sure we want to make sure that they're all right. You may be swallowing some pills because you got high blood pressure right now. Let's change up your diet. Let's reduce your body fat percentage. Let's get to let's get you in better cardiovascular shape. You'll not have to swallow those pills and then you have a you're going to be setting yourself up for a much better long-term health outcome. yeah Yeah, it's almost like that um you know inventing the rock bottom at the end is like
00:14:28
Speaker
It's a, you know, for lack of a better analogy, like a come-to-Jesus talk conversation of like, hey, let's ah imagine your life if nothing changes. We can just get kind of doom and gloomy, but it sounds like it wakes them up to really think, yeah, you're right if I don't, now it's going to be worse, and I won't be here. So it is kind of like this um reality major reality check of, hey, in 30 years, what do you want? What do you want the story to be? what How do you want it to be written about you? And what do you want to say? Yeah, that's powerful. And it gets them really thinking. I really want this because of longevity and my kids or family or you know, whatever I want to be, I want to be around, I want to be able to move and not being in a wheelchair, you know, yeah not on this medication. And so that that's huge. And I think that's, again, something I find too, and people come in even for services with me is again, getting to like more of the the deeper core, like driving force, what is really pushing them, what is really motivating them to get beyond just the quick
00:15:19
Speaker
ah quick fix and that's something that you spoke to and I want to set a little ah bit on that as that kind of quick fix mentality and I'm wondering you know and in this day and age because so much is out there of being quick fixes that we see all the time fitness I see it and the kind of mental wellness services too this kind of you know do these three things and you're you're set and so I think we live in a ah Culture and society around these as everything's fast and quick and don't mean it's and so and then you talk about habit formation so what has been some of the barriers for men kind of engaging in that and then once they realize that have a formation really looks like this like what are what are you seeing in the space right now with these kind of quick fixes.
00:16:01
Speaker
um Well, the most common quick fixes, you've probably seen them. ah They're pretty, pretty out there. Tough to miss, but you know, keto won't go away. Everybody's tried keto. And here's the thing. They say I did keto and it worked, but I gained all the weight back. And then my answer is always like, well, and it it didn't work because you gained all the weight back and and you wasted a whole bunch of time. So fortunately, carnivore didn't really. get that much traction. um I'm a fan of intermittent fasting, but really not for the gimmicky kind of benefits that you hear about it. I really just think it's a great way for busy guys to be able to control calories. That's amazing. And then the one that is really popular that works in theory, it's just got so many moving parts that it's really tough to implement in practice is calorie tracking and and getting your perfect macros because you know in theory,
00:16:56
Speaker
It should work. you You find out exactly how many calories you should be eating. If you eat that, that, if you hit that number every single day, you hit your protein targets, carbs, fats, then you can get the body of your dreams. But they're just an actual practice. It's so tough to be consistent and it's even tougher to be accurate if you are consistent. So, um, thinking that I'm going to be able to give them this, this perfect calorie target and perfect macro target. And they're gonna. get get super shredded. That's ah that's something that is can be disappointing. ah What else? um that Those are the major ones right there, man. um yeah But what we found is that really everybody, all of the the trendy diets kind of have the same core theme that makes them successful if they are successful is
00:17:45
Speaker
Get rid of eating. Stop eating so much crap. you know Get rid of the ultra-processed food. Focus on eating stuff that your great-grandparents would recognize. Paleo-ish, lean proteins, fruits, veggies, whole grains. And it's boring, man. The stuff that works is boring, but people don't want boring. They want a gimmick. They
Steve's Fitness Journey
00:18:04
Speaker
want something magic. They want to hack that. only insiders know about that the mainstream doesn't want to tell you about but this study showed that it actually does this and blah blah blah and insert buzzword and and I'm going to scare you out of eating these kinds of foods because they do this and you thought they were healthy you thought vegetables were healthy but they're actually stripping you of the nutrients because of all oxalates and blah blah blah don't eat oatmeal don't get me started on that stuff man i know i've seen some of your reels uh on the oatmeal thing because that's i know it's a big you know hey this is bad you know don't mess with oatmeal i love you i know you've you've you've done some good um i won't name the person but there's a person that you've done some uh real videos on a ah doctor out there and and
00:18:52
Speaker
is' not there yes sorry dr Yeah, doctor and it was pretty good, you know because yeah again It's this kind of I have the secret weapon and for him it probably does work And I think you said that in your reel that hey maybe for him what he's doing is working for his body in his lifestyle It's working for his bank account, man. And it's working for his bank account, right? Right. but I mean, it is. it's But for him, you know, if he is doing what he's saying, op you know, for him, he probably feels good, right? To some degree, and it's working for him. And I think, to some degree, I think we define what works for us on our lifestyle, whether it is maybe Karma works for someone, that's their lifestyle. Here's the thing. And and it doesn't really matter.
00:19:32
Speaker
the mechanism, anything that helps you lose 20 pounds, 30 pounds, 50 pounds and gets you to a healthier weight, better blood lipids than I am all for it, man. If it's some obscure diet where, I don't know, you're just eating bacon and grapefruits, I'm not saying to do that, but that's the thing that works. You went from being 300 pounds to 108 pounds and you're exercising and Your blood work looks great. Dude, you can sustain it. I'm ah um all for it. um so So ultimately, you've got to find what works for you is the most important thing. right Yeah, I think that's what I was saying, is what whatever works for you. And hey, maybe AI is listening. but ah you know
00:20:11
Speaker
If bacon and grapefruit becomes the next bad diet, we know that you planted the seed in the AI model and it took the, and is now putting that out as a deep fake of like, you know, Steve is, this is the new diet. It sounds appeasing. I mean, I love grapefruit. I love bacon. you know I'll do both. um And then, yeah, there'll be a shake version of it next. um And if can you speak a bit more about, I think, habit formation? i think I think a lot of our culture, especially the upcoming generation, I think a lot of us are so stuck on even these fad and quick fixes that I think we misunderstand what habit formation really looks like. can you Can you speak a little bit more about that? Yeah. So I don't want to claim to be a super expert on this. I don't have a PhD in habits, but I read a couple great books on it that really
00:20:54
Speaker
inspired me. One of them was um The Power of Habit. I think the guy's last name was Doohig, Charles Doohig, I think his name was. And then the one that more people know about that became really popular was Atomic Habits. I wrote that James Clear, just really, really brilliant books. And I'm not going to summarize them right now. But that the main key takeaways that i got were that yeah your brain only your brain loves the status quo and it really hates change for the product of our habits we do the same things all day every single day in that those those habits kind of form our life we do so much stuff on autopilot without even thinking about it walking into the walking into the kitchen walk into the couch
00:21:36
Speaker
doing whatever you're going to do, good or bad, work life, personal life, workout life. but they did You do most of this stuff unconsciously. So you really have to go in and consciously ah change to do a major disruption and your brain sometimes kind of sees this as a threat. and and says You're getting a little uncomfortable here. Comfort is a lot better. Even if it's not serving you long term, those habits are comfortable. Your brain loves the status quo. That being said, your brain hates change when it comes to that. Even if it's serving you, even if it's going to make you healthier, even even if it's going to make you more money, even if it's going to get you an ideal partner.
00:22:17
Speaker
It's going to make you afraid to talk to that girl. It's going to make you afraid to do that extra sales call. It's going to make you not want to go down and do those extra pushups because it's unknown. It's uncomfortable. So what you have to do is because your brain hates it so much, you can only change a little bit time and you got to wait until that thing that you're forcing into your life, forging into your routine becomes basically automatic until you even think about changing. The next one. And after reading that, after learning all of that and realizing, yeah, this is kind of how my brain at work has been working. It's kind of how my life has taken shape to kind of how I got both my good habits and bad habits. I was like, there's something, something to this. So I tried to kind of design my, my coaching program around that. And it's, it's worked really, really well for the guys that latch on and and do the work changing lives, man. It's pretty cool. And then on top of that, I looked back at my,
00:23:12
Speaker
my my own life when, when I made a big change for fitness, it started off really, really, really small. And a lot of other fit people that I spoke to or have spoken to over the years, they were in kind of a similar situation. It wasn't like, all right, I've had it. This isn't working. I'm going to get the perfect workout program. I'm going to make a dramatic change to my diet. I'm going to do all these things. let's go, and then six months later, you're you're totally different. No, for me, it was literally like the only thing I did. I got sick and tired of how my body was, how my social life was going. I wanted to make a big change, so I just started doing pushups, and that's literally all I did for the maybe the first two, three, four months. I may have told this story on the last episode. I talk about it all the time. It wasn't get the perfect workout program, start going to the gym four days a week. No, it was like do pushups in my my dorm room either every day or every other day. Started keeping track.
00:24:04
Speaker
And people started noticing my arms kind of had shape for the first time after like three or four months. I was like, Steve, what are you doing? I was like, I've been doing these pushups. And I started talking to my friends who are lifting weights on a regular basis. And I was like, but what do you what are you doing at the gym? What do you do? And they're like, come. on Come show me. I was like, I don't know. I don't know if I want to go to the gym. It's embarrassing. I'm going to be the guy like just lifting the bar. So leave it or not. I did not start off looking the way that I do. I was skinny fat. I had a big belly, skinny arms. I made fun of people who went to the gym. This isn't for me. Why would you run around a track in a circle? You're running for fun. That's so stupid. Come play X-Box. This is going well. There was actually N64 at the time. Come play N64. This is way better. yeah My point is this. I didn't do like macros weren't a thing.
00:24:50
Speaker
Keto wasn't a thing. Maybe there was some form of low carb. but I'd never heard about it. Started doing pushups, started eating more protein. It's really all I did for like the first six months. Then I finally got to the courage, the courage to go to the gym. I started doing really, really basic routines first year, two years. Then I learned how to actually follow a workout program. Then I discovered creatine and then. The things that guys try to do in one week took me three or four years slowly building out to actually and successfully implement in my life. And guys wonder why they try to, ah why they can't be successful when they're trying to do four years of habits in four days. know
00:25:33
Speaker
yeah Sorry, I kind of went on a rant there. I get carried on times, Travis. No, no, no, no, no. That's ah it's a good rant. And I think, you know, the those that are listening, I think it's good to hear this because it's the same for even in the mental wellness, mental health space. I think
Mental and Physical Fitness Connection
00:25:48
Speaker
people come in and they really want to change, but sometimes, now sometimes of course we could change. Sometimes there is, um, some things can change quickly, but often it's more of, and what you said was so key is that everything we do and and obviously atomic habits, they talk about this, but everything we do is a form of practice. whether we're aware of it or not like everything that we do is a form of like a rep it's like we just that's a rep every anytime you do it walking likes a kitchen making your that's a rep it becomes automatic where you start you don't think about it as much and so it's the same thing when i work with people with
00:26:19
Speaker
you know whatever they're dealing with the anxiety or something else or stress it's like hey everything you do you're practicing that skill whether you are trying to intentionally practice it or not it doesn't matter your brain doesn't care it just knows that you're doing it over and over and over again and the more you do something the less you're gonna be thinking about it. much like driving a car, the first time you have a car, you're very aware of everything because you have to be, you know, it's like the clutch, the gas, emit at least those that learn how to drive a clutch, I did, I remember an old 1970s Westfalia bus van with like, it had like 20 horsepower,
00:26:51
Speaker
I remember my dad taking me on these hills and, you know, going back, you know, just like, let's go. And you're like, oh, man. But I was hyper aware of everything because I didn't want to crash the bus. And also it it was a nice restored van. So I also had like, you know, it's probably expensive in my mind as a 16 year old kid. and um And but I remember that. And then eventually, you don't think about it. just You just do it autopilot. And the same thing autopilot, the same. and And there's ah there's obviously a pro to autopilot with, you know, mental energy resources. But the problem is if these are habits we're doing that are not really effective. And I think your story of doing the same thing consistently is not somewhat, it's not really glorious. It's not, you know, it's not like super exciting even to some degree. It's, it's, it could be monotonous at times, I'm sure.
00:27:42
Speaker
It was, it was just really, really slow. And I want to say this, it it probably took, I think I started doing pushups my sophomore year. It probably took and until my senior year for people to really look at me and be like, Oh, you're working out two and a half years. It wasn't like 90 day dramatic transformation takes a while. Oh man, it's gotta be slow. It's gotta be boring. You're going to be a lot more likely to have a long-term successful outcome. Well, and I think that's the whole point is that when you do the long-term it's, it's going to actually, work going back to that, you know, earlier where you said is like, hey, keto didn't, you know, keto worked. And you're like, well, no, it didn't because you gained everything back because it wasn't long enough. It works when it stays. It's a lifestyle. It's a holistic change of where this is now what you do. This is just part of these are your habits yeah is you don't think about this anymore. This is what you do. And now you're seeing the impact of that trickle into the rest of your life.
00:28:36
Speaker
And, you know, as we kind of, my thought too now as we think about the habits you've been doing, obviously you've been on this journey for a while. um And I'm wondering like at this point in your life, was kind of looking at your psychological health, your social health, your obviously physical health, spiritual health, you know, what is kind of some simple practices that you do as far as integration and integrating all these aspects of your life to kind of continue to maintain that? Like what is like a simple, you know, what does Steve kind of tend to do right now to maintain all these areas? Yeah. Well, but the fitness, I got kind of on autopilot business. I got kind of on autopilot. Uh, I'd say I'm a little out of balance when it comes to the other aspects of my life. So I got to kind of force myself to do the one a spiritual side of things. If you want to want to call it that, you know, I'm Jewish by faith, but I don't really practice that much. I'll celebrate the ah holidays, but to to keep my mind kind of my health, mind healthy on the kind of a spiritual side of things. I got my gratitude journal right here.
00:29:34
Speaker
a I write in that every single day. I found that works a lot. If I get out of the habit of doing that, I start noticing it. I start every single morning with it before I get to work. It's great. I just break down 10 things that I'm grateful for. yeah And ah it's kind of amazing then that this little switch goes on and makes it easier to conduct business when you take when you don't put as much pressure on yourself because you realize all the things that you already have. That's one thing that I noticed. And the other thing that I've been getting back into, I was really, really consistent with it several years back, kind of so easy to to fall out of these habits is is meditation, just firing up the ah Headspace app and doing, if I can, 20 minutes on that, just listening to the the guy with the British accent, talking me through a guided meditation. I always feel
00:30:22
Speaker
Really good about that after I do it I love how it has like the little the little streaks you try to keep your streak going and beat your last streak I had a ridiculous one at one point then There's the dopamine hit right there. It is, man. like hey It feels good. Well, and in real quick, I'm wondering, when you don't do those things, when that part of your life isn't as consistent, you know what is maybe one or two telltale signs of the impact it starts to have when you that isn't kind of so consistent? Yeah, well, I would say you don't really notice it right away. It's like that first time you break your diet and you have McDonald's, doesn't really do anything in the grand scheme of things, but you start having McDonald's every single day, 60 days go by and you're like, oh man, I really do feel like.
00:31:08
Speaker
who feel like crap. So I would say the first word that comes to my mind when I don't do those things is anxiety. That's the first word that comes up. I'm pretty anxious by nature, ah but I've gotten a lot better at handling it. I got it under control, but largely in part because ah of the structure I have and I need to have those things. built into my day. I need to have that structure ah or else you um being being anxious all the time isn't good, man. It affects your sleep. When you're not sleeping well, you wake up the next day, you can't work well. You want to skip workouts. Maybe you don't eat as well. So everything just kind of starts to crumble. Everything has its place. And if one thing falls out of line, then it's only a matter of time before the whole tower crumbles. So like I guess said, it doesn't happen right away. You skip one day of meditation.
00:31:56
Speaker
not going to notice, not going to change anything. But after a couple of weeks, you start realizing all my thoughts are all over the place. I don't have any control. I'm not doing any type of checking in with, with my body. Um, I'm feeling on edge all the time. I found myself pacing. Let's get this back in order. Um, those are, those are the, the main things that first come to mind, I could go on that for a while. No, that's great. It's a weird subconscious thing. No, and I appreciate the openness and vulnerability of sharing that. As guys are listening, it's like we all have something. When we are out of balance, like you said, it's usually
00:32:33
Speaker
It's not always a quick immediate result that we're gonna see but over time we all have our own It's gonna have an individual impact and for you It's more of that anxiousness worry kind of like edginess and so and that's unique to you and for some guys listening that might be yours That might be where you go. You might get more in your head. You might be more stressed You're for me. What happens to me is my my patient's threshold gets lower but So my capacity to maintain a calm collectiveness, especially as it pertains to my family, like sure and my kids and my parenting goes down.
00:33:07
Speaker
um And I'm more easily put into a frustrated state. And so that's what my, one of my big tells is like, Oh yeah, I have not been consistent. I need to get back because when I am just like you, I, it actually increases my capacity to maintain a collected state. Frustration tolerance is much higher. I could tolerate a lot more and more. I can lift more of that, so to speak, and and hold more of that, especially, you know, if I have three kids all melting down, it's like, that's a lot of, uh, you know, that's a lot of energy. and And if I'm not caring for myself, it's going to impact them and how I engage them when they're needing me if they're all dysregulated. Well, then if I'm not taking care of myself, i'm if I'm dysregulated, I'm no but'm no good to them. And so that's usually- I feel that and sense that as well.
00:33:52
Speaker
Oh, I feel it in my chest. I could feel my heart rate. you know you know I could feel my breathing change. I feel you know i feel um i feel like a you like racing thoughts and flooded where it's just hard to think clearly. I get edgy. I can get kind of like like i want to get out. like I
Visualization and Positive Thinking
00:34:09
Speaker
feel like sometimes like I need to move. you know um And so for me, it's like, oh, I haven't been consistent lately with you know my meditation, my prayer, my my journaling, my mind practices. And when I get back into that rhythm consistent, it's like I've, it's a total, and it doesn't take me long anymore and to kind of get back and notice the effects. It's kind of nice. It's almost like it, the recovery is much quicker. I don't have to spend, you know, a year of the habit. It's like, I notice it and you're like, Oh, I can breathe more. I'm, I'm able to move through this. I'm not as agitated. yeah And so I appreciate you, you sharing yours and it got, you know, those that are listening, it's like, Hey, we all have that sign. So it's learning to pay attention to yours, whatever that might be for you.
00:34:48
Speaker
Maybe you're watching more Netflix. Maybe you're eating more. Maybe you're drinking more. Maybe you're maybe you know, whatever it is for you to pay attention because that's a sign that something is off and in a way your body is trying to communicate it to you. It's trying to like say hey, hey, you know, we got to do some something's out of whack, you know, you're not in balance and so it's gonna impact, you know, all the other things and so I And in a and yeah obviously this is maybe not an obvious question, but when you're, I'm wondering when you get back to your journaling and gratitude journal, how does that impact your, even though your fitness is kind of on point, right? That's a habit. But does, do you notice a difference or change in how you engage in your fitness activity and physical activities when you are
00:35:31
Speaker
doing your gratitude in meditation practices versus not? Did you see an impact there or a change at all or not really? I don't think so. I noticed it in other areas of my life but doesn't kind of fitness is so on autopilot right now like and I'm really, really lucky in the fact that that's one thing I really I've made this really strong positive association with working out. I love it. You know, people go see you and talk to you. That's their therapy. Good part of my own personal mental health is going to the gym. That's almost like seeing my The squat rack is my my therapist. A lot of lot of a lot of senses. one One thing I also should bring up that's helped me a lot um is just positive visualization exercises. I try to do that before I go to bed. You hear up all kinds of manifestation woo-woo stuff, but I really do feel a lot better when I visualize things that I want and think about it. Like I like i already have them. It really does take
00:36:29
Speaker
anxiety away and I've been able to you know kind of bring some cool stuff into to my life room from doing that. It's that whole act as if mantra. You can write it off all you want, but I've i've seen that I've experienced it and i've've I've learned and been mentored from some people who have really benefited from that. And if I don't do that, if I start dwelling on on what I don't have, doesn't feel good. But if you start thinking about things that you already have or things that you want and envision yourself or like you and feel like you already already have it. It makes your day go by a lot better. you You work a lot better and life is just better in general. Yeah. So if i'm if I manifest a six pack, it's going to happen. you really Honestly though, if you if you really do want a six pack, you do have to start thinking of the the put yourself in the shoes of someone who has it. What do they do? What does their life look like? And then you kind of have to just reverse engineer it.
00:37:25
Speaker
Yeah, one habit at a time. So there's truth in that if you keep telling yourself, I'm not a six pack guy. But here's here's something that is easy to envision. And here's here's kind of how I implemented it into fitness. Do you know the the concept of progressive overload? ah Yes, I do. All right. So tell it to the listener. Yeah. In order to get stronger, When you first start lifting weights, you can get pretty strong pretty quickly without really tracking that much. But as you get more advanced, you literally have to like keep a notebook or a a fitness app and start tracking your workouts. And the goal is to just try to do a little bit better than your last workout. So if you did 10 reps on bicep curls and you just work out the next week, you come back, you want to get that 11th rep. So it's really, really tough to envision yourself or feel
00:38:14
Speaker
like you have a six pack or Arnold Schwarzenegger arms, but you can feel like the type of person that can do one more rep. And then when you go in with that mindset and say, I did 10 last time, but I'm going to get that 11th and I'm going to grind and I'm going to do whatever I can. You can picture yourself as being 1% better. All right. So there's that. So you may not picture yourself with 30 pounds or more muscle, but you can picture yourself as the type of person who did 1% better on every single exercise. When you do that on a regular basis, that's when that change.
00:38:46
Speaker
really come so you can't picture
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:38:48
Speaker
it's maybe tough to picture yourself with a a six pack like a w WWE wrestler but you can picture yourself being just a little bit better and then next thing you know you are a little bit better then you just got to do a little bit better after that so you got to do it kind of in waves in stages but there is an element to that visualization so you you weren't too far off when you said envision yourself at the six pack and it will come true because you yeah you have to do that And i agree i was doing a little tongue-in-cheek there with a manifest as you know ten figure salary i mean there's a gimmick to it for sure that i think people market it and misuse it but i i do agree that i do a lot of visualizations to i mean some of trauma trained dmdr therapist and a lot of what we don't know by the way yeah so i'm a certified dmdr therapist and eyes going be away that's cool i just learned about that
00:39:36
Speaker
Yeah, it's really, really effective. But and part of what we do in that is, you know as you're reprocessing, sometimes we do this thing where part of the reprocessing at past event is we imagine a different outcome, an often more positive one. Yeah. And you know while our brain our brain can't tell the difference between like real or if it's imagined, it just knows that it's like seeing it, right? And so just like, as a quick example, a lot of people that come to my office or even maybe clients you've seen, they'll stress out about something that hasn't happened yet.
00:40:09
Speaker
like yeah and And they'll feel physical worry now, they'll feel anxiety now. They might even have physical responses like gut, they might have a hurt stomach, they might feel sweaty, they might their mind might be racing. And so it's almost as if what they're thinking about, worried about is already happening physiologically, mentally and emotionally, but hasn't even happened. So just like the whole with you know thinking positively. So I do believe that what we think actually does matter because we have an actual, it impacts us now physically, emotionally, even behaviorally. It's a part of the mdr for example is when we're doing past work is we actually envision with the reprocessing is like what did i actually needed and then as it does that the body starts to shift the emotion shift the cognition we believe about ourselves begin to shift and so it's almost like it's healing that because we're giving the gift of what we actually needed.
00:40:56
Speaker
And our brain's able to kind of reprocess that and say, oh, I'm able to give that gift to that past experience now. And in a way, it's healing it. And I'm able to move on from it. It's no longer a problem anymore. It's not stuck, right? And obviously, there are things happening. But that's a component yeah of this visualization. And so I totally believe in thinking, Positively and this is what like pro athletes do. I mean they they envision catching the ball. It doesn't mean they're gonna catch the ball every time It's not like if I envision it's always gonna come true, but it's more about the thick the neurochemicals It's happening the physiological response the stress response all these things are actually increasing positive hormones ah Positive body sensations and so let's say for example if they're in a match and they drop the ball They're more click They're more likely and quickly to recover and keep going versus like see I told you you're gonna drop it and then
00:41:45
Speaker
right I mean, that's what the yips is in baseball, right? like they it's a self It's a mental game of defeating themselves that they can't do it. And it's all fear-based. And so they're so afraid of something happening that it does and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. yeah So part of what you're doing is you rewire the brain and retrain and say, well, imagine hitting it. What is that going to feel like if you hit that ball? Oh, it's going to feel great. OK, go with that. what happened you know And how do you think people are going to think about you? Same thing with imagining the six-pack. So I did it tongue in cheek, but there is a truth to it. And I fully believe in it. A hundred percent. Well, I think I first learned about it from Arnold and he had this old biography called education of a bodybuilder. I think he published it in like 1980. I read it in like 2000. He talked about envisioning winning Mr. Olympia. And then it may have even been atomic habits. I read so many books like that. We're talking about Michael Phelps and his coach and they used to call it watching the videotape and his coach would say, Michael, put in the videotape and watch it. And he would envision himself winning.
00:42:41
Speaker
these races, not with just but winning, but like have exact, exact times. And he would hit those exact times that he envisioned. So yeah, um it does get kind of abused in the sense that people will read a book like The Secret and think like, oh, if I just put a picture of a Ferrari on my wall, I'll get a Ferrari, but it doesn't work like that. But no, no, no. A lot of people who are high achievers, they had a really, really clear vision of what they wanted. But then they put in the work to get there. They, they had the drive. They had a really big reason to get that thing. And they they came up with the game plan and then they worked their pass off. So it started with the vision. It wasn't just a Ferrari appeared in their driveway one day. It was like, I want the Ferrari. I want the mansion. I want this, this, and this.
00:43:29
Speaker
yeah I'm gonna need this much money, so my business is gonna have to make this much money, I'm gonna have to do these things, or I'm gonna have to practice this much. That's how it really works, it doesn't just come out of thin air. No, you're right, you're right. and But I'm glad you brought that up, because I think there is that is a a thing that i I do myself, and also I teach all the clients, because there there is something so powerful about that, because um so many people I work with have such bad thinking, they're so critical. yeah And that that really can, take out any wind in their sales before they even begin is it just from bad upbringing or bad past experience or i love everything yes and yeah yeah some of it is better bring you know what they were told explicitly or implicit messages a lot of times you know there is.
00:44:11
Speaker
parents said something and whether you know, whatever and so they ended up buying into it and they become a narrative and then then they in a way start to believe it, you know, subconsciously and that becomes just that that's that's the truth quote unquote in their head. And so and especially if anything goes wrong, that voice is like, well, see, I told you, you you know, you're a failure. I told you you're, you know, worthless or no one cares about you. So so it's it and it keeps feeding. And so what happens is to then we get this kind of confirmation bias. we Our brain starts to look for that to prove it to be true and it becomes familiar and then what can happen is even if something positive happens that voice will say well you know it'll look throughy it'll look for the fluke or it doesn't really mean that that that you know it'll so it'll still hunt for the bad and it kind of continues to feed that um and it's really sad because it's amazing how powerful it is and so part of it is it's kind of
00:45:01
Speaker
Identifying it calling it out figure out when it started doing some work around it and shifting the thinking I mean so many people I work with is it's so much bad thinking and critical and Self-defeating thoughts and I see it all the time and then when that thinking shifts things start to shift I mean yes, there's other things too But that's a big piece and envisioning a different future really is powerful it really is and it really does affect neurotransmitters and dopamine serotonin and You know motivation and body and all these things um and they have to do the work though. They do. Absolutely. There there is a work component for it. um So anyway with that said you know as we come to a close I'm wondering where can we find you if people want to work with you or get the app you know where you at.
00:45:42
Speaker
Yeah, so there are a couple different ways to work with me. The first thing I'd say is go on Instagram, give me a follow. I'm posting free videos ah five, six days a week. I try to make them as valuable as I can. And you can follow me on Instagram, dadbot underscore Steve. And I'm also on TikTok. If TikTok stays here, hopefully it does. I'm on TikTok as dadbodsteve, all one word. If you want to get my free fast start guide, I came out with this PDF a couple months ago, very high value, value stuff. You go to goodbadbod.com. I'll send it to you. And if you click on the link in my bio on Instagram, you'll see link to my
00:46:24
Speaker
My app, it's a premium app, workouts, I do a weekly video, a Q and&A, I call it Dad Baud Monthly, and right now I'm offering a two-week free trial, so take advantage of that, get some free workouts, get some free interaction with your boy Dad Baud Steve. Yeah, and I have to say, since June of only, you know, June 22, yeah, you're you're I would say your Instagram content has gone up. Thank you very much, man. I have an obsess over it. That's where the anxiety comes in. I always got to do better. So I really appreciate that. as No, it's good. Yours has been great too. and ah Thank you. Love what you're doing. Love the rebranding. And I'm excited for and what you're going to be doing in the future.
00:47:06
Speaker
Yeah, man. Well, thank you, Steve. And, guys, anyone like if you're watching this or listening, all the links will be in the description below, directly to his Instagram account, to his website, to the app, all those things. And, of course, reach out to him. Give him a follow. He's a nice guy. He'll reach out to you. He'll give you a point in the right direction. So thank you, Steve, and you have a wonderful night. Thanks so much, Travis.