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The Egg Whisperer’s Guide to Your First Fertility Steps
63 Plays1 month ago
In this episode, Whitney is joined by Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh, known as The Egg Whisperer, for a clear and practical conversation about what to do before starting fertility treatment. From simple testing and the TUSHY Method to egg freezing, embryo quality, and egg donation, Dr. Aimee explains how to approach fertility with knowledge, confidence, and self-advocacy. This episode is a must-listen for anyone taking their first steps — or wishing they had clearer answers sooner.
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Transcript
Understanding Fertility with Dr. Amy
00:00:00
Speaker
There are really simple tests that you can do just to get a basic understanding about your fertility. There's just something about fertility. Like people just get into that car and make that cross-country trip without doing any tests and they don't check under the hood.
00:00:13
Speaker
That's Dr. Amy, the voice behind the Egg Whisperer Show. For years, she's helped people understand their fertility in a way that feels clear, grounded, and compassionate. And for so many hopeful parents, especially those just starting to explore egg donation or surrogacy, this is where the fear begins.
00:00:33
Speaker
Am I missing something important? Am I already behind? Why don't I know yet? Dr. Amy has made it her mission to answer those questions long before the overwhelm sets in.
00:00:44
Speaker
Fertility is one of those things where you want to check under the hood. That could potentially prevent miscarriages, prevent pregnancy complications. So I want people to get tested. I don't want everyone to need a fertility doctor, but I think getting a nice fertility health check should be part of our like proactive, preventive medicine.
00:01:02
Speaker
And that's why her work matters so much. Because the truth is, most people step into the world of fertility feeling uncertain, unprepared, and afraid of making the wrong decision.
00:01:13
Speaker
But with the right information presented with kindness, humor, and real expertise, the fear starts to fade. And in its place, something else begins to grow.
00:01:24
Speaker
They're finally hopeful again. That they're not as scared anymore. They feel less overwhelmed. In today's episode, Dr. Amy takes you from fear to understanding.
00:01:35
Speaker
She'll walk you through the tests that matter, the myths that hold people back, and the simple steps that can give you clarity long before you take your next step in your fertility journey. If you've been searching for answers, if you're ready for guidance you can trust,
00:01:49
Speaker
If you want to move forward, feeling informed, supported, and truly ready, this episode is for you.
Surrogacy Insights with Whitney Hall
00:01:56
Speaker
Enjoy. Who knew it could take more than two people to have a baby?
00:02:01
Speaker
I'm Whitney Hall, a two-time surrogate, now part of the team at Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions. And I've seen how life-changing this process can be when you feel informed, supported, and confident about your next step.
00:02:16
Speaker
Each week on Create a Happy Family, you'll hear real stories and expert insights from hopeful parents, surrogates, egg donors, and professionals, all to help you understand what it really takes to create a family in this way.
00:02:32
Speaker
Because at the heart of it all, we're creating happy families, one relationship at a time.
00:02:42
Speaker
So just to start right off, I know in the space that we're in, we see it all the time where people step into the fertility world just feeling so overwhelmed. And luckily, there are so many resources like the Egg Whisperer and our show and just so many other things. But, you know, so people can go from confused and anxious to feeling a whole lot more informed and empowered. But What you wish everyone understood before they even start thinking about fertility treatment and go down the
Unpacking the TUSHY Method for Fertility
00:03:19
Speaker
Dr. Google rabbit hole?
00:03:20
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I think what I want everyone to know, there are really simple tests that you can do just to get a basic understanding about your fertility. And, you know, when it comes to other issues like diabetes, hypertension, like we get it, like there's tests you can do and you can fix it. There's just something about fertility. like People just get into that car and make that cross-country trip without doing any tests and they don't check under the hood. And like fertility is one of those things where you want to check under the hood. You want to make sure that the oil level is where you need it to be, that the gas is full.
00:03:52
Speaker
And i feel like that could potentially prevent miscarriages, prevent pregnancy complications. So I want people to get tested. I don't want everyone to need a fertility doctor. But I think getting a nice fertility health check should be part of our like proactive preventive medicine, you know, sort of plan for everybody who's thinking about starting a family.
00:04:13
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. What do you wish, you know, kind of OBGYNs were saying, yeah like you said, kind of, you know, at the beginning or of, you know, just having it, maybe just being a part of just a regular checkup I think it's hard for OBGYNs because a lot of them are employed. They're employed by big hospital systems. They're not in control of their schedules. They're given a very short, limited time that they can spend with patients. So I i know that OBGYNs are very well-intentioned.
00:04:51
Speaker
And they do their best, but oftentimes that's not the best place for you to get your fertility information. And I've seen that sometimes patients get diagnosis that aren't accurate or they're discouraged from trying, like, especially if you're over 40 and doctors actually have their own biases and they'll share that with patients and it makes them feel really bad. And, um, and I think that, you know, that's why I came up with the TUSHY method to make it easy for OBGYNs. You know, get the tubes checked, do an ultrasound, get the sperm checked, do some hormone tests, do a genetic carrier screen, and you're done. But that is actually a lot of work for someone to actually do for a patient who gets 15 minutes a slot. And it's, I think, overwhelming for OBGYNs who have to stay on schedule and see. so
Home Testing Options for Fertility
00:05:36
Speaker
many patients every single day. So that's why, you know, having programs like this, there's online platforms that people people can go to, you know, do it yourself tests from home that people can do. i mean, you can get your AMH checked from home.
00:05:49
Speaker
You can do a semen analysis from home. You can do a genetic carrier screen from home. And I imagine one day you can do an ultrasound from home and there's technology for that. It's just not for the masses quite yet.
00:06:01
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. You've already kind of you know brought it up, but let's talk about the TUSHY method. What does that mean? um you know Just as far as like you said, getting started on finding out more about your own fertility health.
00:06:15
Speaker
Exactly. I mean, the thing is, you don't really know you're fertile until you try. You know, I mean, that's true. But before you try, you might want to learn about yourself. So you're not finding things out that you wish you had known when you were pregnant. So I'll start with the why. The why is your genetic carrier screen results. So um two people could just happen to have fallen in love that carry a really serious disease that could be lethal to a baby. You don't want to find that out when your baby's born. You don't want to find that out when you're pregnant. That's so anxiety provoking. So there are proactive things that you can do if, let's say, you and your husband both carry a gene for cystic fibrosis, and you can do IVF and screen embryos for that, right? Like, wouldn't you want to know that ahead of time? I think most people would say yes. I think there's this misunderstanding that if you find out something's wrong, then you can't have kids. Well, that's not the case. It might be a little bit more difficult to have a healthy family, but it doesn't mean that you cannot.
00:07:07
Speaker
As far as the hormone tests, again, these tests are not perfect, but they're the closest thing we have to a semen analysis for women. And that's a simple test that you can do called the AMH test. It doesn't tell us how good your eggs are, but it gives us a window into maybe how long you're going to be able to try for how many mature eggs we could possibly get. from an IVF cycle for you. Sperm is 50% of an embryo. And we know that sperm quality does matter. And i think it's important that guys spend just, I spend just as much time talking to guys about their sperm health, supplements, lifestyle, things that they can do to improve sperm, just like I do for my female patients.
00:07:44
Speaker
And your uterus is where a pregnancy grows. And so, you know, we look at the walls of the uterus. We look for things like fibroids. We look for adenomyosis, which is inflammation in the walls that can cause miscarriage. We look at the ovaries. We look for cysts of endometriosis. So all of these things kind of are part of how we forecast what a fertility future will look like for a patient. And I think if, you know, if someone really wants to be proactive, Be on top of their um health, their fertile health. I think that is important to do. And then checking fallopian tubes, not necessarily required, but if you're someone who's had chlamydia in the past, or if you've had a pelvic surgery, like a ruptured appendix that had to be removed. or you have endometriosis, like these are risk factors for having your fallopian tubes not function.
00:08:30
Speaker
The fallopian tube is where the meet and greet occurs between the egg and the sperm. And that's where fertilization happens. And the embryo travels down the fallopian tube into the uterus and implants there. So
Age and Its Impact on Fertility
00:08:41
Speaker
I just did the tushy method backwards just to make a little bit fun for people. But it's really the five tests that we do that can get us to a diagnosis and kind of explain things for patients. And I see it all the time. Patients, I i haven't explained infertility. I'm like, Well, your husband's motility is 10%. Your AMH is 0.1 and you have one tube that's blocked.
00:08:59
Speaker
How is that unexplained? You know, so it's very rare that you can go through all these tests and not tell patients what's going on with them. Yeah, absolutely. And it's great to have, like you said, that information to where you are diagnosing before treating versus like a hope and a prayer and then, oh, wait, things aren't working. Now let's start figuring things out.
00:09:19
Speaker
Right. Especially as people are waiting longer to have families, you know, you want to know these things ahead of time so that if you want to preserve your fertility through, let's say, egg freezing or embryo freezing, you're doing it before your eggs run out.
00:09:29
Speaker
Absolutely. It takes more than love to create a family. It takes compassion, courage, and connection. At Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, we've spent more than 18 years helping hopeful parents, surrogates, and egg donors create happy families through egg donation and surrogacy, one relationship at a time.
00:09:49
Speaker
Our team has been there. Many of us are former surrogates, egg donors, and intended parents, so we truly understand this journey. If you're ready to take the next step, visit createahappyfamily.com to apply today.
00:10:03
Speaker
All right, let's get back to the show. you You've kind of already mentioned it. You are seeing patients you know that are waiting longer to have their families, patients that are older in their 40s, things like that. How does age and just all of those factors truly shape kind of your conversation and those next steps when it comes to when that patient wants to start building their family?
00:10:30
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I never want to shame anyone or bully anyone and or make them feel bad for coming to me at, let's say, 48, ready to start their family. But the reality is that age damages eggs. And the older you are, the less viable your eggs are and the less likely it's going to work. So I like to have very um hope-filled, practical conversations with people. I try to come from a place that um is kind and loving and not insulting and shame-filled. And I think a lot of times patients are made to feel really bad, which is ridiculous because a 40-year-old man who wants to have a baby would never be you know told that he's crazy. But unfortunately, that happens in fertility clinics everywhere that people just...
00:11:08
Speaker
are asking for things that are unrealistic, but the reality is most of the time that they are. So I just educate very gently. i lay out, you know, what's going to give you the highest chance of pregnancy. What are the different treatment options? And then people get to choose what feels right for them. And I try to do my best to make my patients priorities mine, whether it's trying, believe it or not, for a retrieval at 50.
00:11:31
Speaker
have done that. you
Egg and Embryo Freezing: Pros and Cons
00:11:34
Speaker
know, doing 10 IVF cycles for someone who just has one egg so that they can bank embryos for themselves. I've done that too. So i have all the energy in the world to help people on their path, depending on, you know, what's important to them.
00:11:47
Speaker
What are kind of those realistic expectations when it does come to embryo quality, egg quality, and timeline as you are aging?
00:12:01
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I think um patients think that they can wait until they're 40 to start their family because they have doctors like me that can help them. But the reality is it takes six IVF cycles to have one healthy embryo and you might still not have that. So I tell patients expect that most of the eggs and may not be healthy and it might be too late and that's okay. You know, at least we're going to go through this experience and we're going to feel like we gave it our all, but there are so many other ways of building a family that are great. No one, you know, gets married or no one starts their fertility journey as a single person or an independent person is what I like to call my single patients by choice saying, I can't wait to see which egg donor I'm going to use. No one says that.
00:12:42
Speaker
But the the reality is that egg donation until in vitro gametogenesis is actually a thing is a great way to grow your family. And so um I bring those concepts up just to plant the seed early, just so they know that it's okay to actually move on to donor eggs if they need them when you're over 40. And some patients need donor eggs, even if they're under 40. I want to definitely circle back to obviously the egg don't the egg donation factor. But when it does come to... you I mean, I feel like egg freezing has really just gotten a big spotlight you know recently or just within the last few years, just as far as becoming a lot more attainable. Insurance is covering it, things like that. you know what
00:13:26
Speaker
there is still a lot of confusion around it. How do you help your patients and your listeners navigate whether egg freezing is the best next step for them? Yeah. I mean, I think egg freezing is for everyone, whether in your 20s, 30s, or even 40s.
00:13:42
Speaker
And I feel like it's important to have someone sit down with you and tell you how many eggs you need to freeze for the number of children that you want. So for example, if I have a 40-year-old, I'll say, let's try and freeze 30 eggs for you. And I talked to them about making embryos as well. And 30 eggs could mean six or seven egg freezing cycles because just like three or four eggs, you just don't know until you fertilize them if you have a good one in there. But the likelihood that each embryo is genetically normal at, let's say, 40 is about 25%. But if they wait longer at 44, it's about 4%. So things change really rapidly between 40 and 44 versus, let's say, 30 34. And I hope this conversation i will laugh at in the future because I'm like, oh, my God, remember when that was a thing like went down at 44. But there's this new thing that you can take or do to the eggs that makes them more viable. And there is a lot of excitement around technology like mitochondrial replacement therapy. And like I mentioned before, vitro gametogenesis. But we're looking at probably another five to 10 years until these things could be potentially mainstream.
00:14:52
Speaker
Yeah. you've You mentioned it earlier as far as freezing eggs and then freezing embryos. is there What's kind of the pros and cons to to either?
00:15:04
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, some patients are willing and open to being an independent mother. And so I always say to a patient, you know, if you are freezing eggs and you're doing it because you're not partnered right now, would you consider being an an independent mother in the next five years? If the answer is yes, then maybe do a cycle of eggs and then also do a cycle of embryos, just so you understand what the potential is for your eggs based on what we learned through the IVF cycle. So it's a learning experience. And also those embryos could actually help you become a mother.
00:15:34
Speaker
if you don't find find the intended father ah at the time that you're ready to be a mom. So a lot of people give up their um desire for children because they're waiting for the partner. But what we have to do is frame it that egg freezing isn't about a man. It's about preserving your fertility. And if you find a man, great. If not, make those embryos, become an independent mom. And I tell my patients that doing that sometimes opens your social circle and you meet the dad that was meant to be the dad to your kid just because you had that child. Oh my gosh, I love that. You um you actually recently just talked about creating a realistic egg freezing success plan. Can you kind of dive into that a little bit?
00:16:16
Speaker
Yeah, a realistic, successful egg freezing plan is one that gives you an opportunity to have the number of children that you want. Right. And so sitting down with your doctor and talking to them about that, I think is really important. And then I have a supplement stack that I recommend to patients that they take for about at least 30 days before they start egg freezing. And there are other things that we do. We talk about lifestyle, body size, stress, um acupuncture, red light therapy sometimes.
00:16:47
Speaker
And then when you go through your egg freezing cycle, it isn't just a freeze and forget. It's a freeze and let's see what we learned and then learn from it and then see if we should do it again. I have
Understanding Egg Donation
00:16:56
Speaker
patients that freeze and then a year later, they come back and do another cycle. And maybe two years later, they'll come back and do another cycle. And then they get to the point where they're ready to make embryos.
00:17:06
Speaker
Yeah. I love that. We've, you know, we've kind of already talked about egg donation and how you already bring it up with your patients, depending on, you know, the age that they're coming to you and things like that. And for some patients, egg donation, you know, is the direct path to growing their family.
00:17:23
Speaker
What are some of the misconceptions that you see when you start having those conversations with your patients when it comes to donor eggs? Yeah. I mean, men think that if they're using a donor egg, that they're cheating on their wives.
00:17:38
Speaker
three song And I'm like, you're not having a threesome. but Think of it like an organ transplant. Like once your organ isn't working, you need someone else's organ to continue to live. And for women, life, they feel like they're alive when they become a mother, you know, and I see that in my patients. And so if you've run out of eggs, you need an organ transplant and then you need someone else's egg to fulfill that goal for yourself so that you can continue to live on in the way that you want. Life is too short not to have that transplant and basically live the way the life that you want to live.
00:18:14
Speaker
So that's um one misconception. The other misconception is that when the baby comes out, you're not going to bond with it. And you know you're going to look at the baby and be like, you're not my baby.
00:18:26
Speaker
That has never happened in my last 16 plus years in practice. I haven't had a single patient say, this is not my baby. What I do have patients say is, wow, Amy, she or he resembles me. This is the baby that I was meant to have. And the only regret my patients have The only regret who've gone through egg donation, well, there's actually two. I'll share one with you first, is that I wish I had done it sooner.
00:18:51
Speaker
That's the regret. The other regret is, you know, as times have changed, egg donations become more open. And so the one regret that they have is that they didn't listen to me because I always mention, I think it's important to get to know your donor. If possible, meet them ahead of time, make them part of your family story. And, you know, by knowing them, you can also find out more about their health history. If anything changes, your children and will be you know, healthier donor conceived people in the future as children, as adults, if they just know their story from the beginning. So I've had patients that have come back and say, wow, I really wish I didn't use, let's say an anonymous egg bank or, you know, they, they really um learn through a lot of the things that they're hearing and reading on social media and talking to therapists about how anonymity is definitely a thing of the past. And it's actually cool to get to know your donor. So that's one of the other regrets that people have.
00:19:43
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. We've definitely, our agency has, you know, it's, yeah, it's not anonymous anymore. It's just unidentified because there's no such thing as anonymity at this point. um But yes, we have our, you know, a known and an unidentified, you know, program. And that known program, it does give you the ability to, at minimum, you have access to health history, which that alone is just so important whenever you're, you know, raising your kiddo.
00:20:11
Speaker
And then, like you said, having the ability to get to know that person is so helpful. Talking to you know, donor conceived people as they've gotten older and, you know, are figuring out who they are there i Anyone that I've talked to they're like, I'm not talking to this person as if, oh, you're my mom and not this person. It's just, hey, let me, oh, that's so cool. You like art and I do too, or little things like that. And it's just a part of their story.
00:20:40
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. What, what is some, what are some of the things that, you know, whenever you are counseling your patients, you know, that, um, ah when they're choosing a donor, what are maybe some factors that you feel as though maybe they should prioritize, whether it's, you know, medically or emotionally?
00:20:56
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I want them to find some sort of connection with the donor, whether it's hobby or where they went to school or what they do for work.
00:21:07
Speaker
So I think that's important. And I tell them not to focus so much on the physical characteristics. You're not going to find someone that looks exactly like you most of the time. Sometimes we do, but not most of the time.
00:21:18
Speaker
I think health history is important. Mental health history is important. Family history is important. But things like the donor's mother's shoe size is not important.
00:21:30
Speaker
ah This is a super great example. Yeah. yeah as As someone is starting their fertility journey journey, or maybe they're in the midst of it, and you know they they're just feeling, continuing to feel overwhelmed, what are maybe just some practical steps that someone can make sure...
00:21:55
Speaker
that they're being heard
Advocating for Your Fertility Health
00:21:56
Speaker
when they go to those appointments. Yeah. So you just use the word why you just say, why just ask why. So why are you recommending this? Why this drug? You don't have to remember any other word, but why it's really as simple as that.
00:22:09
Speaker
And, um, I had this experience with someone not that long ago and every sentence and I do, i talk a lot and everything that I do, I explain it like this is the medication. These are the side effects. And then she kept saying, why, why, why? And I thought it was lovely. It was very endearing. And I said, I am really, I really appreciate that you are saying why every time I end a sentence, because I feel like this experience is going to help me teach other patients how to be advocates for themselves if they don't understand what's being shared with them. Rather than smiling and nodding and then walking away fully confused, you just say, why are you recommending that? Why did you just say that? Why this protocol? um Why this next appointment?
00:22:54
Speaker
Why this blood draw? That's really all you need to say. And then you have to own your own health history. So when you go into these clinics, assume they don't care about you.
00:23:06
Speaker
Assume they don't know who you are. Assume they don't remember anything about your history. So what you have to do is you have to show yourself love. So you have to show that you care about yourself.
00:23:18
Speaker
You have to every time you go in, I tell patients that are not my patients. You don't need to do that with me. is when you make an appointment with a doctor, um always share your history.
00:23:31
Speaker
Just be like, I know you're so busy, but I just want to remind you, I'm 35 years old. I've been three IVF cycles. My first cycle, I had one you ployed. My second cycle, I had done. My third cycle, I had one. I have one you ployed left after I did one transfer that didn't work. you know These are the tests that I've had done. You just have like a running paragraph about yourself.
00:23:47
Speaker
And you can send that like at the base of every email. with your full name. Cause sometimes when patients let's say email the doctor, some clinics use a portal, some email, like your name is different than what your name is in the system. You know, so it's hard for people to make connections. So I think it's important to like have that running summary for yourself so that when you go to the clinic, you, you can have something you can have, you know, printed out notes and you can share it with your doctor. And just like real quick, I know you have so many patients that this is my story.
00:24:16
Speaker
Cause I've had so many patients share with me. And you would think with technology that we wouldn't be getting better about this, where they're like, the doctor was actually looking at someone else's chart and told me I had something that I didn't.
00:24:27
Speaker
And I'm like, what? Like, how does that even happen? And then she said, yeah. And the doctor said, oh, sorry. um i was actually looking at someone else's chart. So it's like, you just have to, to just, you know, show yourself the love that you might not be getting.
00:24:42
Speaker
assume they don't know who you are. so you have to make sure they do. And unfortunately, yeah you know, and, and saying that like, they don't know what you've been through. A lot of times they just don't remember because they're rushing through appointments and you, these people are caring people. You just have to help them out more now than we did need to, let's say seven or eight years ago. So the culture medicine has changed. How we take care of people has changed. In the old days, we used to say, don't Google it. Don't replace your Google, you know, Google with my medical degree. Now things have changed so much. It's like, why are you even asking me and go to chat GPT?
00:25:22
Speaker
but
00:25:26
Speaker
I love that because I think there is this general kind of sense of, you know, you walk in and you're, and exactly like you said, you know, it's, it's not that they don't care about you. It's just, there's, there's been an explosion of patience, but there's this idea of like, well, if they don't remember me, then they don't care about me. And if they don't care about me, then are they really giving me the care that I need?
00:25:45
Speaker
Right. So you have to do it for them. You have to almost think of yourself as you're their assistant, literally. And I have patients that are like, um ah you probably have my records from all the cycles that I've done. I'm like, how would I have those records? Like we, you know, before I even see a patient, I get every, I have a whole checklist of things that I need and I require them before I even meet with people because I want their experience to be extremely, I want things to be carefully reviewed so I can provide the best opinion for them. and guide them in the best possible way. But other clinics aren't going to do that. So you have to do that for yourself if they're not doing it, if you're going for another opinion.
00:26:19
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. What are some, that's so great and such fantastic practical advice. Is there any, you know, just kind of go-to questions that you feel like anybody should bring to a first consult?
00:26:33
Speaker
What's my diagnosis? What's my prognosis? And what are the treatment, different treatment options? And what would you do if you were me? That's it. Mm-hmm. Done and done. Yeah.
00:26:43
Speaker
I love it. Yeah. That's all you need to ask. And you'll walk away with all the information you need so that you can sit down with your you know fertility psychologist or your mom or your partner, if you're partnered and come up with a really great plan and a timeline.
00:26:59
Speaker
Is there any time throughout someone's experience where you feel like there's kind of a go-to, would go and seek a second opinion for that?
00:27:13
Speaker
Um, I, you know, for me, it's not about second opinions based on what I'm recommending. It's, um, experts to help support my patient on her journey.
00:27:27
Speaker
So it'd be like an endometriosis expert. I'm not going to do your laparoscopy for you. I'm not an expert excision surgeon, but unfortunately a lot of patients waste time getting surgeries done by people who are not minimally invasive gynecologic surgeons.
00:27:40
Speaker
um Reproductive immunologists. Like, I'm not an expert immunologist. I'm not going to waste a patient's time doing that. So I'm going to have them get another opinion. um Fertility genetic counseling.
00:27:54
Speaker
I'm... I'm IVF doctor. I'm not a geneticist, and I want patients to get the most accurate information about their embryos and what the abnormalities are. So get another opinion from someone else. Don't just get the information from me. I want them to talk to someone else about that.
00:28:11
Speaker
Mm-hmm. What do you find patients are most surprised whenever they sit down with you, whether it's, you know, as they're going through TUSHY method or they are having that first consult, what are, you know, maybe some things that patients seem to be most surprised about?
00:28:28
Speaker
That they're finally hopeful again, that they're not as scared anymore. They feel less overwhelmed. They feel like they understand the things that, you know, that you asked me, you know, what are the things that patients should ask? actually,
00:28:40
Speaker
tell them those things during the course of my call. I always start off with what are your goals? What are your priorities? What treatment do you want to do next? What do you think the diagnosis is? And then I go through what I think it is, what we're going to do about each of them. And then I lay out a plan and share with them what the pregnancy rates are for each of the different option types types of treatment options. And then we talk about next steps.
00:29:05
Speaker
Perfect.
Identifying Fertility Red Flags
00:29:06
Speaker
Are there any red flags that that you just feel like no one should ignore? um Yeah. I mean, no one should ignore severe pain with periods, heavy periods. I mean, that's endometriosis. No one should ignore absence or super regular periods. That could be early menopause or PCOS. No one should ignore, let's say, um you know, testicular pain, groin pain for a guy. That could be a sign of testicular cancer. No one should ignore relationship issues. You know, if your partner is not showing up for you, they're not going to show up for you in pregnancy. And they're sure as heck not going to show up for you when you're a parent. And i don't think any woman has a baby to give it to a man 50% of the time.
00:29:55
Speaker
Fact. um And I think no one should ignore depression, anxiety, PTSD, and trauma. So I feel like those issues should be addressed before you start treatment. A hundred percent. It really is a just full human experience. Just, yeah.
00:30:10
Speaker
Period. Yeah. What do you, and we kind of have already touched on it but you know, what do you feel like are, especially as fertility, the fertility world has evolved, what do you wish were maybe some of the biggest myths that you would hope that people would unlearn?
00:30:30
Speaker
Um, that just because you have regular periods means that you're fertile. Um, just because you look really good on the outside and you look amazing and super young that your ovaries look the same way, and that it's just a woman's problem because it isn't.
00:30:43
Speaker
Um, I wish people would unlearn things like ah abortions cause infertility cause they don't same thing about birth control pills, birth control pills, mask infertility. They don't cause infertility at all.
00:30:57
Speaker
Um, so those are just some of the big ones. Yeah, for sure.
Infusing Hope in the Fertility Journey
00:31:02
Speaker
for sure. For your listeners, you know, just for them to walk away feeling, you know, empowered, what message with all of this amazing information that you've given us, what message do you hope that they remember?
00:31:17
Speaker
um i think I want them to remember that hope never killed anybody. No one dies from hope. It doesn't hurt and it's okay. I think a lot of patients are so afraid to get excited or be hopeful because they're worried that somehow they're going to get disappointed h And I'm like, life's too short to just live in fear all the time and constant panic and worry. And it's okay to live a year feeling hopeful that you might get pregnant naturally. There's nothing wrong with that.
00:31:49
Speaker
So that's just something that I share with my patients. It sounds quite quite morbid, but i think it's an important message. Yeah. No, I don't think so at all. yeah you have to have hope. Absolutely. What gives you hope about the future of fertility and fertility medicine?
00:32:10
Speaker
What gives me hope is that people actually keep coming in wanting to have babies. I mean, if you look at the news today, you would think people would be like, nope, I'm good. No more babies. Look at this world. It's insane.
00:32:21
Speaker
but people still want to bring love into this world. There are lots of loving people out there. So that just brings me lots of hope. It's really fun to get to do what I do. And I get to meet these babies. People come and meet me with their babies. I meet them at the park. and They come over to my house. I mean, it's just really amazing to be part of, you you know, the community that I live in And then to have these special relationships with the families that I've helped over the years. I have babies now that are in college.
00:32:46
Speaker
It's amazing. And it's so fun to see that full circle. ah yeah Well, Dr. Amy, I have ah one last question for you. And truly, i mean, all of this has just been such a wealth of information. And i I love a girl who gives me some practical advice. So, you know, thank you so, so much. um My last question for you, you have seen me over here just drinking my cup of coffee. And for anyone who knows me, they know that um coffee and I are never far from each other. So I always love to ask the question, what has filled your cup today? Literally or figuratively, what has been the thing to fill your cup?
00:33:29
Speaker
um What's filled my cup is I got the most beautiful bouquet of flowers from a patient and she sent them to me internationally. she She was an international patient that came to me because she just graduated the first trimester and they're so beautiful. And it was such a surprise. I obviously wasn't expecting to get flowers from her. So that was really touching and really moving because we worked really hard together um to help her reach this milestone. And so that was really quite wonderful and lovely.
00:33:59
Speaker
And what a great way to celebrate that milestone. That's beautiful. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. It really does. It feels so good to just see those families when they are starting with you and they've already had such a journey before they even get to us, no matter where they are. And then to see those beautiful full circle moments, it's the best. It's Christmas card season. I love getting those. It's those baby pictures. Oh, it's the best. It is the best. There's nothing better, truly.
00:34:32
Speaker
Well, Dr. Amy, again, thank you so much for, you know, just all you do for your patients, all you do for those who listen to you on Egg Whisperer. And um we are just so grateful for your time.
00:34:44
Speaker
ah well, thank you for having me join you today. It was so much fun talking to you.