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How One Surrogate Built a Community
78 Plays23 days ago
What starts as one surrogate saying yes grows into something much bigger.
In this episode, Whitney sits down with Cassie, a three-time surrogate whose journey didn’t just help create families — it sparked a growing community of surrogates who support, celebrate, and carry one another through every stage of the process.
Cassie shares how her desire to become a gestational carrier began long before she had children of her own and how taking one step forward led to a ripple effect she never could have planned. From being the only surrogate she knew to watching a trusted, local network grow beyond her imagination, Cassie reflects on the power of patience, shared experience, and showing up honestly.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
How Cassie’s surrogacy journey expanded into meaningful community
Why shared experience deepens support
The role of trust, ethics, and communication in sustainable journeys
Holding space for both celebration and grief within community
Cassie’s story is a reminder that you don’t always see the impact you’re making — but sometimes, one decision can change far more lives than you ever expected.
AUDIO: What starts as one surrogate saying yes grows into something much bigger.
In this episode, Whitney sits down with Cassie, a three-time surrogate whose journey didn’t just help create families — it led to a growing community of surrogates who support, celebrate, and carry one another through every stage of the process.
Cassie shares how her desire to become a gestational carrier began long before she had children of her own, and how taking one step forward created a ripple effect she never could have planned. From early connections to watching a trusted local network grow, she reflects on the power of shared experience, patience, and showing up honestly for one another.
This conversation explores what makes surrogacy feel sustainable beyond the medical side — including trust, ethics, clear communication, and the importance of holding space for both celebration and grief within a community.
Cassie’s story is a reminder that you don’t always see the impact you’re making in the moment — but sometimes, one decision can shape far more lives than you ever expected.
Recommended
Transcript
Inspiration and Decision to Become a Surrogate
00:00:00
Speaker
It all was back when I was in high school. There was a um girl I went to church with and I watched her struggle with infertility. And I remember one day telling my mom, like, I could do that. I could carry a baby for someone else.
00:00:14
Speaker
That tiny spark, that idea that she would help one family stayed with her. But what happened next, nobody could have predicted. I had mentioned, you I'm pregnant. There were two girls that were like, oh my gosh, I want to do this too. um Then I had another friend that of asked some questions, but um then she was like,
00:00:38
Speaker
I think it kind of hit her and she's like, I actually could do that. And from there, it didn't stop. What started as one woman's act of generosity became a growing circle of women who wanted to help create families that became a community of support.
00:00:53
Speaker
And then when it grew continued to grow and continues to grow, like it boggles my mind.
Building a Supportive Surrogacy Community
00:01:01
Speaker
Like it is so cool to think like, not only did I bring two babies, three babies into this world,
00:01:08
Speaker
But like the impact that it had on other women and like the domino effect, the ripples that has just carried on past me. Like it is so cool to see And that ripple effect changed everything.
00:01:22
Speaker
Cassie didn't just help create three families through surrogacy. She helped inspire dozens of women, which means even more families were brought to life. This is what happens when people feel supported, understood and connected.
00:01:38
Speaker
In today's episode, Cassie shares how One Small Yes became of movement, how community transforms the surrogacy journey, how support creates confidence, and why none of us are meant to walk this path alone.
00:01:52
Speaker
Enjoy.
00:01:56
Speaker
Cassie, I am so glad you're here. Thank you so much for taking the time. ah it is so fun. I'm so excited to get started. It is. It's so great. It's so fun. Okay. so just to dive right in, you have been a three-time surrogate, which is incredible on its own. But what i really love is how your journey didn't just create families. It actually created a community. But like let's just let's go back let's go back to the beginning. What first inspired you to even become a gestational carrier? Yeah.
00:02:31
Speaker
Ah, so it all was back when I was in high school. There yes, there was a um girl I went to church with and I watched her struggle with infertility.
00:02:45
Speaker
And I remember one day telling my mom, like, I could do that. I could carry a baby for someone else. Never had baby of my own. I was like, I could do that. So fast forward, we kind of struggled to get pregnant with our first. And so i was like, well, if I can't carry a baby for myself, I can't do it for someone else. Like it was kind of my thought. So I kind of just like forgot about it.
00:03:12
Speaker
Um, then we had ours, we have two. And, um, after I had my daughter, she was a perfect baby. Absolutely amazing. Like i was like, oh my gosh, I could do this a third time.
00:03:24
Speaker
I love it. And then she got her independence and i was like, nope, I'm done. i don't want any more for myself. I was like, I think I'm gonna try to be a surrogate. And he was like, okay, like, cool,
Navigating Surrogacy Agencies and Challenges
00:03:38
Speaker
whatever. He didn't really have like much of an opinion.
00:03:41
Speaker
i went so I actually applied for surrogacy with another agency. um But I'm a no term carrier. And so they tried for a while to get me to switch that stance on my application.
00:03:57
Speaker
m And I was like, no, like, I just I can't. That's one thing I just can't do. i can't waver on. Because I know if I find a family... Anyway, I just kind of stepped away from it. I prayed, like, God, please take this desire from my heart. I don't... Like, I can't do this.
00:04:14
Speaker
Like, if this is your will, then it'll be done. But it just wasn't happening. So... I prayed and prayed and it just didn't go away. actually ran into someone um that just happened. i didn't know. And they were like, Oh, i was a surrogate.
00:04:29
Speaker
i was like, Oh my gosh, I want to do it so bad. And she gave me her agency and I'm very organized, but I lost it. I lost the sticky note. So I knew her agency was out of California.
00:04:46
Speaker
Okay. I was like, well, i I just can't find it. And so I did the thing I got on Google and surrogate solutions popped up and I was like, I'll just give it a shot. Like this is just why not?
00:04:57
Speaker
And so i did. and crazy enough, I got ahold of you guys. I said, i want to be a no term carrier. Like I don't want to go through the whole application process just to get denied. Sure.
00:05:11
Speaker
Can I be no-term carrier? And they, um i was told yes, but it might take some time to get you matched. Right. I said, that's fine. And for anyone who is listening and doesn't understand what no-term means, it means just will not terminate for...
00:05:29
Speaker
you know, any reason and there, you know, every, that kind of ebbs and flows for some. Um, but that's essentially what that means. And it's not super common, um, in, you know, kind of the industry. Um, and so that is one of the things that does make us unique. Um, but yeah, yes I think it, and I don't mean to, I don't mean to stop you in the middle, but no you find when you were experiencing, you know, going through that agency Did you think to yourself, let me go let me go apply to other agencies? Or were you just kind of like, I'm going to one and done it. And if this one doesn't work, then yeah that's it?
00:06:07
Speaker
That's kind of how I felt. Because I was leaving it in God's hands. And if I got denied for something that... I feel called to through him. Then i was like, this isn't, this isn't meant for me. Like if i have to change my morals on what I believe, i can't, I can't do this. And so yeah. And you guys told me like, yeah, well, let's take time. i was like, that's fine. Like I totally, totally expected to take a year or more for me to match.
Matching with Families and Emotional Impacts
00:06:41
Speaker
So i filled out my application. i Got all my medical records to you guys. And the day that I was approved for to be a surrogate, hi I got a notice that there was a family, a no term family in Illinois.
00:06:57
Speaker
Amazing. Yes. So I was like, oh my gosh, this is, this is it. This is it. um So we ended up, I saw their profile. We matched and it was amazing.
00:07:09
Speaker
It was such a good journey. So I kind of thought again, like when I went, when I started surrogacy, I thought I would do it one time and that would be it. Yep.
00:07:20
Speaker
I didn't, I thought it would kind of fill that spot in my heart of like, okay, I did it. Like I'm done. And it didn't. I was like, that was their first child. They wanted a sibling journey. And I was like, sign me up. I'll go again.
00:07:34
Speaker
Oh my gosh. I love it. I did. And then, yeah, you kind of mentioned like we have like there's, I was the first at surrogate solutions and it kind of grew wildly and quickly. Like I had no clue what God had in store for the surrogates of Southern Illinois.
00:07:58
Speaker
Yeah. ah Okay. So you're, you've gone through or you, you've been matched with this family and as you're going through your journey, is that kind of when you started talking to other people in your area or how did the building of that community kind of start?
00:08:25
Speaker
Um, i I, so when I first started the application process, we were kind of in the process of moving ah and we moved to a new town, like still close, like still like,
00:08:39
Speaker
not far away, but just like just a town over
Faith and Community in Surrogacy
00:08:43
Speaker
sharp. And so we joined a new like small group Bible study type thing. And as we're like doing introductions and um I had mentioned, you i'm pregnant. It's not mine.
00:08:58
Speaker
and which is always a great opening line. um And so then like after that was over, we were all just kind of standing around talking. And some of the people had walked in and didn't, I don't know,
00:09:09
Speaker
I guess they had heard that I was i was pregnant. They knew i was pregnant. And um i was in the other room kind of getting my kids and someone one asked my husband, when is she due? Or how many weeks this year? something like that. And he gave the s surrogate husband answer of, I don't know, it's not mine.
00:09:30
Speaker
Yes. Excellent. And I wasn't there to be like, it's not mine either. Like, i And so someone else said that for me. And like to this day that still gets brought up that that was his answer.
00:09:46
Speaker
Mm-hmm. And so within that Bible study group, there were two girls that were like, oh my gosh, I want to do this too. And I was like, no way. Like, that's awesome. I'm only like 12 weeks at this point. I'm still new to it.
00:10:00
Speaker
So we kind of leave it at that. And later I'm with them again and I'm talking about it. And one of them's like, oh, I don't know if I could ever do it. Like, I just... I don't even know. I'm like, apply, just apply and find out. And so they both did. And um then I had another friend that she, I don't remember if she had mentioned she didn't, you know, shit if if someone ever says like, i don't mind being pregnant. I'm like, Oh, well, let me tell you about what I know.
00:10:30
Speaker
ah You should be a surrogate. And so some people are like, Oh, absolutely not. I can do that. And so no I had told a friend, i was like, Hey, you should be a surrogate. And she was like, no, you're crazy. And I was like, okay, like that's cool too. And she kind asked some questions, but, um, then she was like, I think it kind of hit her. And she's like, I actually could do that.
00:10:54
Speaker
And they're very, um, her and her husband are very like debt free. And they're like, it would benefit fit our family too. Like I don't mind being pregnant. It would benefit us too. And, and it does, it's amazing. Like,
00:11:07
Speaker
People are like, oh, it's so great what you do. And i'm like, but you have to realize it benefits me too. Like I have done so much for my family and like just, it's amazing. I don't know. No, it is. You're so right. Because i mean, not only is it, not only is it placed on your heart as far as just, I mean, you do have to, there, there There's a mindset that you have to have when you're like, yes, this is something that I absolutely want to do, you know, for someone else. And, you know, it isn't a it can't be just about, you know, how it financially benefits you because there's so much that goes into it.
00:11:46
Speaker
All of that to say, it does benefit you as a family and does open doors that maybe wouldn't be opened otherwise. And yeah um and it it also creates just all of these amazing relationships. So yeah, I mean, it is. It's beautiful all the way around.
00:12:02
Speaker
it really is. Yeah. What? I mean, you you kind of mentioned... you, whenever you first even started, you know, thinking about this seriously, not in high school, but like really truly like, Hey, this is, this is going kind of become a reality.
00:12:19
Speaker
But you mentioned like you were the only one that you knew what, know, I think it really is there, there is something so special about speaking to, you know, other women that have walked the path that, you know, you're already walking or you guys are doing it together. How has that community that you created just, what has that meant to you?
00:12:41
Speaker
Oh my gosh, so much. Cause so my first journey, i like I said, I didn't know anybody and i I had told another friend, I was like, I'm going to do this. Like I've applied, I'm in the process. And cause I wasn't really telling anybody in the beginning. Cause I'm like, I don't know if transfer will take, I don't know like what, I don't know what other people are going to think about it. So i' was kind of like treading lightly and had said, Hey, I'm going to do this. And she was like, Oh my gosh, you should talk to Jessica.
00:13:10
Speaker
Um, because she's done it. Um, and I was like, okay. So I i didn't know her. I've, Found her on Facebook and I was like, hey, I'm in Illinois. I'm going to start surrogacy.
00:13:21
Speaker
And so we kind of like connected a little bit. We talked here and there. um And she was with a different agency at the time. I i pulled her over too. Oh, and so um anyway, it was cool to have like to finally meet someone else and kind of have that like personal we know each other.
00:13:40
Speaker
So it was cool to see other girls come along and join us in that journey um to start group messages and like they would have questions. And at first I felt like I kind of had to be like,
00:13:55
Speaker
the one answering all the questions. Like everyone would kind of come to me. and as it grew, I kind of got to like take a back seat and watch other girls like answering the question. I mean, it grew so fast. Like, cause I started and then Felicia and Paige joined me and then Abby joined me. And so like, we kind of had a year of like, it was just the four of us. And then Jessica was there and she was doing another journey and i was like, okay, I'll do a second journey. And so then it just kind of kept growing and we had this. And then as they did it and they started sharing their stories and
00:14:32
Speaker
they had girls come along and that's when I kind of got to like sit back and watch the beauty of everything kind of growing and like, okay, I i don't feel the pressure of answering everybody's questions. I can kind of sit back and watch this happen. And it's, it's happened so fast. And there are girls that are in Southern Illinois that are with surrogate solutions that I don't even know.
00:14:59
Speaker
Like I found out I delivered and um i delivered October 1st and there was a girl delivering at the same hospital and I didn't even know. i have no clue. and then they're like, it was just insane. It was so crazy to like,
00:15:18
Speaker
see where it's come and I mean questions like you know how do I take this medication or how do I handle this situation or i don't know what to you know and it's just beautiful to see like as it grew so many like the knowledge of surrogacy grew too and it was just it's so cool because everyone's experience is so different so now we have this like There's a question, but there's this situation and this situation and you kind of can figure out what you need based on like everybody's knowledge instead of just one person or two or three. It's it's grown so much.
00:15:57
Speaker
Yeah. ah We'll get right back to the show in just a second. But real quick, have you ever wondered what it would be like to help create a family through surrogacy? At Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, we've spent 18 years walking alongside women who said yes to making a difference. And we'd love to support you as you explore if surrogacy might be the right next step.
00:16:19
Speaker
Our team includes women who have been surrogates themselves. So when we say we understand, we truly do. You can download our surrogate journey and compensation guide at createahappyfamily.com.
00:16:31
Speaker
It's a big decision and it's okay to have questions. This is your invitation to find out more. right, let's get back to the show. Well, and it's so, I think there's something so beautiful in, in a case like that, where obviously for you, it went from, you know, like you said, you're the one kind of answering all the questions to now you get to lean on the community whenever, you know, you're experiencing something that maybe you hadn't experienced before. And, um, every, mean, you said it so right. Everybody's journey is so unique and so different. Um, you know, there's,
00:17:08
Speaker
There's some obvious, um you know, things that are similar, but ultimately they are. They are so different. But there is something so beautiful about as opposed to going to
The Role of Community Support and Shared Experiences
00:17:18
Speaker
Dr. Google or you know, Facebook land where, you know, who knows who these people are. It's kind of this this trusted group that, you know, has.
00:17:29
Speaker
a lot of knowledge from their own personal experience, but then also from being a part of an agency that is, you know, so transparent and, you know, does things ethically and well, and, you know, and knowing the difference between what you might see on the internet versus like, no, no, no, no. no Like, let's get past all that information. Yeah.
00:17:52
Speaker
Yeah. How did it go from, how is that for you going from, Being the one to have to answer all of the questions to being able to lean on that community for your own support, especially as you were going, you know, you did a second and third. journey yes um It was so different.
00:18:14
Speaker
My first journey, yeah, because it can be kind of scary to get on Facebook and ask questions. And, like, hey I'm not a huge person who, like, posts a lot on Facebook to begin with. So for me to ask anything on Facebook, like, I have to be pretty desperate.
00:18:30
Speaker
And so to have... like girls like even if it's like oh I'm I'm so tired of these injections like to have someone that understands like yes we know the knots are horrible like try this or do this and like put a heat pad on it or you know massage it or like you know what worked for them like that maybe I didn't think to try and now I have like just friends. And like the times that we get together, it's always like, it's, it kind of can be spread out. we we don't get together as often as we want to.
00:19:04
Speaker
Um, but when we do get together, it's so amazing. It's so nice to like have people that, cause like with surrogacy being kind of, i mean, it's growing a lot, but from where I started and like not knowing anybody to now having this community,
00:19:18
Speaker
to get together and like share stories and just have fun like sitting around talking about the babies we carried and the joy like because not everybody understands that not everybody like a lot of people are like oh I could never do that and I totally understand like it's not for everybody but to have other people that understand like we've carried babies and We know that they're happy and healthy with their families and like, it's just good. And we get to have a baby and then go home and rest and recover.
00:19:51
Speaker
Yes, sure. But I think you're so, i mean, you're so right because there is. As much as we love our support system and our partners and our families and our friends and our community, you know there is it it isn't something that everyone can just understand. Truly.
00:20:15
Speaker
Yeah. And there is something so beautiful about being able to connect with women who have had that shared experience. Yes. Obviously not every journey, you know, goes exactly according to plan. And, you know, there's always bumps along the way.
00:20:33
Speaker
What makes community like that so important? Yeah.
00:20:44
Speaker
That's a good question. i so when, when we first started, like i all my, all my transfers have taken, I've never had to deal with that personally.
00:20:56
Speaker
Um, but watching other girls go through it, um, I can't imagine going through and having a loss and then not having anybody to talk to, but like having that community after we've had failed training, like, like I said,
00:21:13
Speaker
In the beginning, there were no failed transfers in our group. And so it was like everyone was peachy keen and we were all like having babies and it was fun. and then we had some losses and it was like, oh this is kind of devastating. Like this is the reality. Like it doesn't go perfectly well for everybody. And, you know, it may work your first journey and then your second journey may not. Your first journey may not work out. And it's like I i think having that community,
00:21:41
Speaker
is helpful, but also it's hard because we want to, we want to celebrate the good times, but also we want to be sensitive to our, our girlfriends that are, you know, struggling. And it's good to know that they still come to us with like,
00:21:58
Speaker
this is the anniversary of I should have had a baby on this day and I didn't. and um, yeah, we kind of had a reality check a few times and there's still like those girls that may not have gotten to finish a journey or complete.
00:22:15
Speaker
I hope and pray that they still feel like a major part of our group. And I know we still reach out to them and they still, um, you know, check in with us and let us know how they're doing too.
00:22:26
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That part can be so hard because it does. i think it's really difficult for, you know, despite maybe not completing a journey, you still get to have the name Surrey yet.
00:22:40
Speaker
yeah And that idea and wrestling with that can be so difficult and really hard to explain to, you know, a partner or your mom or a friend, um, and just wrestling with how you navigate that and having community.
00:22:59
Speaker
Yeah. is so important in, in those, you know, in those moments. um Tell me a little bit more about what a big deal it is and how great it is to kind of have those people that you can celebrate with, especially in some instances where you do have intended parents for exactly as they should, they kind of have to hold their breath or, you know, a little bit longer. They're not quite ready to, you know, pop the poppers and throw the streamers and, you know, all of those things. Why is having that celebration so important?
00:23:30
Speaker
Um, well, I can say my, my intended parents were all amazing, like great, but yeah, they, so they didn't share right away.
00:23:42
Speaker
um some intended parents don't want to know, right. They don't want to know at the pregnancy test that we take at home. They want to wait till the blood work. They want that confirmation.
00:23:56
Speaker
through the doctor, which I totally get. But like, we still are like, um I want to know what's going on with my body. I want to know, like, am I pregnant? Am I not? And so we've had that happen where it's like, okay, like you're pregnant, but you can't tell your intended parents, but you can tell us and we're happy. And like, we're all like excited and we get to celebrate with you until you can tell your intended parents. And so that's really cool to have that, like those people in your corner, like cheering you on.
00:24:22
Speaker
Yeah, no, I agree. That's amazing. You mentioned you had a friend, Jessica, who was kind of like your first, you know, surrogate friend, if you will. um ah But you said that she had started with a different agency. And then, you know, you were like, I got her over here. what Why?
Encouraging Others and Building Lifelong Bonds
00:24:41
Speaker
why was having a donor and surrogate solution such a big part of, you know, your journey and all of these girls journeys? Oh, man. You guys are truly, truly, truly amazing. like Thank you. i can I can recommend my agency so well because you made my journey so easy. And so um Jessica had done, I think she had done two journeys at the time.
00:25:08
Speaker
And she was like, my agency is kind of, it was kind of around COVID times. Things got kind of weird. And she was like, I just don't know how I feel about my agency right now. And I'm like, girl, like I'm telling you, like they will give you no problems with it. Like you just come on over and like,
00:25:29
Speaker
what you want, whether you want vaccinated or not vaccinated, like surrogate solutions will find a match for you. Like, I i just, I'm like, i don't know. i there's always a parent or intended parents waiting. And so i just feel like you guys are so good at matching everybody with somebody that fits their personality their morals they're like it's just so good and um yeah I don't know it's so she was like well I don't know like and I know it's hard to change like sometimes change is hard and like yeah she knew her agency and she knew like kind of the ins and outs of it and she was like i don't know and I'm like just give him a call talk to him and she did and then she was like you're right this is great and I think she's happy that she made the switch after all Yeah.
00:26:24
Speaker
Well, it feels good to feel heard whether, you know, just in general, whether it's, you know, like you said, whether it's preferences or whether it's, you know, i have a hesitation with x Y, Z. I mean, it just feels good to feel heard and not feel like you're just a number or just sitting on a list. yeah Yeah.
00:26:44
Speaker
Yeah. What have been maybe some of just your highlight moments throughout your journeys and, you know, just in building this community, you mentioned that sometimes you guys like get together, which I think is so, so cool. What have maybe been some of those, those moments?
00:27:04
Speaker
Definitely. um the relationship I have with my intended parents, like, The first set of IPs I had, parents, um they their kids are three and five.
00:27:16
Speaker
um Soon to be four and six. Oh, my goodness. Time flies. That's so crazy. But we, my my kids don't know this yet. We have plans to get together with them.
00:27:28
Speaker
um know. I'm so excited. So we're going to in January. We're gonna go to Chicago and visit. And it'll just be a good time. It'll be fun. It's so cool to have.
00:27:39
Speaker
them as family now like they are people that I did not know and had it not been for surrogacy I would not know and we've become a family like we like and it's not me like i need to see your kids like I need to see like she truly like reaches out to me more than I reach out to her I think sometimes and like and I I think an amazing thing is like when I get those text messages on Thanksgiving, like we're so thankful for you or the one on mother's day that she's like, thank you for helping me become a mother or like just those like milestone times where I feel so appreciated. Like, even though like, I don't think about like what I did on the daily basis. Like I just go with my life and like when I do get those notifications from her or those updates, it's just such a sweet little like reminder of,
00:28:31
Speaker
Wow, like, i i did have a cool part of their story, and now we get to know them forever, and my kids get to grow up with our kids, and it's like, they're like little friends that will always be around, so it's fun.
00:28:46
Speaker
Yeah. Well, again, it's, you know, yes, there's the obvious benefit of, you know, you made them parents and, yeah you know, financially doors were open, but it is, it's that like, that's the good stuff right there. That's the, that extended family that is just so special and so unique.
00:29:07
Speaker
Yes. It's so cool. How does, what does the group look like now going from, you know, four with like a little text message thread to, you know, now today with gosh, however many girls are in there. What, how what are those meetups? Like, what does that support system you've created look like?
00:29:29
Speaker
It's, I mean, I'd like to say it's, we get together all the time, but the more it grew, it kind of got harder to, yeah. to get together as often and it's like, okay, we'll plan a date and you know, with everybody's schedules. So it's, we try to get together as often as possible. And it's awesome that like surrogate solutions will send you guys to come visit us as well. You guys have been, oh I know Allie and Katie have had so much fun. It's fun to get to see them and like see you guys because we are so far away from the agency.
00:30:02
Speaker
um But to get to like meet you guys in person, it's so cool to have you guys come and we get to show you around Southern Illinois and just to get to know you guys and to get to know each other a little more. Because like I said, there are some surrogates that I don't even know.
00:30:17
Speaker
like i've and the crazy thing is actually i was not the only one that got recommendations for surrogate solutions. My husband, um, my husband was talking about it at work one time and we actually, so Jesse is in our group and I've actually never met her personally.
00:30:42
Speaker
talk to her all the time. i love it But our husbands work together. um Josh had told her husband that, hey, my, you know, my wife has done this. So they started talking. He's like, oh my gosh, my wife wants to do it. So she applied and i never even talked to her. So i was like, oh my gosh, Josh, I feel like I need to reach out to her and like,
00:31:04
Speaker
let her know what did you get this poor girl into gosh was like let me like reach out to her like let her know I'm here if she has any questions if she you know whatever and so it's cool to like I it's it it's beyond me like it is I I have no like the way it's grown and I mean like I said it I don't even know how many girls... I used to keep track. I used to have like, okay, there's four of us and now there's five and it grew to six. And like I honestly don't know if I could tell you how many girls are in Southern Illinois with surrogate solutions anymore. Like it has grown...
00:31:44
Speaker
beyond my imagination like I I really when I signed up thought I would do this and that would be it yeah then when it grew continued to grow and continues to grow like it boggles my mind like it is so cool to think like not only did I bring two babies three babies into this world But like the impact that it had on other women and like the domino effect, the ripples that has just carried on past me. Like it is so cool to see not see. Like I don't even know. I don't know anymore.
00:32:26
Speaker
Yeah. But what a legacy. And just again, it speaks so much to we We don't know. We truly don't know the impact that, you know, we make in just a side comment here or a nope, not my baby comment there. And, you know, just little things like that. and And the seeds that get planted. And like you said, the ripple effects that that come from that. I mean, again, just just what what
The Long-term Impact of Surrogacy
00:32:56
Speaker
a legacy. Yeah, it's pretty for
00:32:58
Speaker
For anyone who is in their own part of the world where they're the only one um or the seeds been planted, but they're not sure, you know, what to do next.
00:33:11
Speaker
What advice, you know, would you, would you want to give them having sat in that seat before?
00:33:21
Speaker
My advice would be apply, just jump in and do it. Like if it doesn't work out, at least you've tried. But at least give it a go. Like it, I know there are some hard journeys out there.
00:33:37
Speaker
I know that. And I've watched them unfold and I've seen things go south. But oh my gosh, the times that it's beautiful and the times that it's amazing are so much bigger and so amazing. Just take the jump and do it. Like, my gosh, surrogacy has blessed my life in way more ways than I could have ever imagined with the families that I've grown, like getting to know them with the community I have with the relation, like seeing my kids, like love on these babies. Like they've all got to like, they love on the baby during the pregnancy. And then we've, they've gotten to see all the babies after. So i mean, but it's just so it's so beautiful.
00:34:25
Speaker
It's all amazing. It And I think one thing that I think is such a takeaway from your own beginning is patience and how it was so important for you for things to feel right. Yes.
00:34:50
Speaker
Yes. no matter what that looks like for anybody, i think that if you have that feeling of this just doesn't feel quite right, it is important to wait because it, dies I mean, that's what makes that journey, the journey. It is. Yeah.
00:35:07
Speaker
Yeah. i am so glad that I didn't just like change. Cause I, I think that waiting and being patient with it, like in coming over to, to you guys and working with you,
00:35:23
Speaker
you really took the time to see like what was important to me. And I felt seen in that and very, like comfortable with my decision. and even like this third journey, like it was kind of, it was weird. Like i was matched with family.
00:35:44
Speaker
They were amazing. Um, and a few weeks before our transfer, they got pregnant. And so i was like, that's amazing. I'm happy for you. And they were kind of worried that I'd be mad. And I was like, absolutely not. Like I am in no way as upset with you. Like, how could I be?
00:35:58
Speaker
um and through that rematch process, because I was like, well, it's, I, I've always said the worst part of it is the paperwork in the beginning.
00:36:11
Speaker
Sure. If you can get through all of the doctor's appointments and the, the lawyers and the psychology appointments, like if you can get through that, the rest of it is beautiful. Absolutely. Yeah.
00:36:25
Speaker
So to get through all of that, get to transfer, i mean, not get to transfer because once they got pregnant, we just, it was kind of like, okay, we're done. Yeah. um And so i was like, I don't know. Do I rematch? Do I just, I wasn't sure what to do. So I rematched with another family, kind of.
00:36:46
Speaker
the clinic that they use was a little stricter. And so the first two babies I carried were on the smaller side. Like I'm pretty sure it's all genetics. Their cousins were smaller. They were smaller. It's just like,
00:36:59
Speaker
I'm going to say it was genetics and not me. because um But the clinic saw that they were the babies that I had carried were small and they denied me. And so i was like, OK, like being denied, like maybe maybe i should just take that as I'm done.
00:37:17
Speaker
And i had given myself until April 30th. I, our, our transfer was set for February, kind of got everything taken care of. I was broke that match, started looking at profiles again. And I had seen some profiles, but for certain reasons, I was just like, I just don't feel like that's my match. Like nothing ah wrong with them. I just, I was like, I just don't know if that's right for me.
00:37:41
Speaker
And so when this clinic denied me, was kind of like, okay, maybe I should really be I've had two good journeys and like, I can be happy with that. Like I can walk away from this, like knowing I did something really cool.
00:37:54
Speaker
And I gave myself until April 30th. I was like, if I'm not rematched by April 30th, I'm going to call the agency. I'm going pull my name and I'm just going to retire and be done.
00:38:08
Speaker
Girl. April 30th, Angela texted me and she goes, hey, have you seen that profile we sent you? And I was like, no, I don't want to look. It's April 30th, Angela, don't you know? was like, mentally, i was done being pregnant. Like, I wasn't going to do it again. i was ready to call it quits.
00:38:31
Speaker
And... So I looked and I was like, dang Dang it, they're perfect. They're perfect. I see nothing wrong. so I was like, okay, like, I'll...
00:38:45
Speaker
I'll meet them. Like if it works out, it works out. If not, I'm closing this door and I'm done. Well, I mean, the rest is history. I delivered their baby October 1st and it was a great journey. i have no regrets about doing it the third time.
00:39:00
Speaker
It was good. And I mean, yeah. so But I mean, again, like just what a beautiful illustration of yeah you know, just,
00:39:12
Speaker
Being patient and waiting and, you know, just like, just letting, letting the process process. i Yes. Yeah.
00:39:23
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Absolutely. Beautiful. If there, you know, what's, what's one thing we've, and we've kind of talked about it, you know, here and there, but with, with all that you've experienced, what's one thing that you hope someone takes away from your story? Yeah.
00:39:42
Speaker
That's a question. don't know. Maybe the be patient because really like, I know it can be tempting to, you want to do and every girl that goes through the application process.
00:39:55
Speaker
Like you want, if you are, if you want to do bad enough that you're applying, like you want this really badly. So like be patient because and I mean, it's hard to, there's a lot of like, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. Like, so not only do to be patient with like the process, like, cause you can't rush it. Like you can't rush to the lawyers. You can't rush to the appointments. You can't rush any, it's, it's kind of out of your control.
00:40:25
Speaker
Like you, you just have to, you just have to go for the ride. You can't, you can't force it. You don't know what's going to happen. The transfer can take, it might not take, there might, you know, you might have,
00:40:38
Speaker
a great relationship, you might not like, there's no like guarantees in this journey. Like, so I think just being patient with yourself, being patient with your IPs, being patient with the agency, like there's just a lot of patience.
00:40:54
Speaker
Yeah, for sure. There's so much patience. But within that, i think like you said, there it is kind of a there's a level of trust that you have to have in certain parts of a, you know, wanting to control sometimes what can feel like a very uncontrollable situation. And when you have, you know, community trusted industry professionals, all of those things, it can, it makes the process. It makes being patient. Yes. a little easier
00:41:30
Speaker
yes yeah It does for sure. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, okay. Cassie, I have one last question for you. And again, I can't thank you so much for, you know, just taking the time to share, you know, just the beautiful part of your own journey and all that's come after. but um, my one last question for you, and it's a fun one.
00:41:51
Speaker
so boy You've seen me sitting here, sipping my coffee the whole time. Um, me very codependent coffee and I are not far from each other. So I always love to ask the question, what has filled your cup literally or figuratively?
Personal Growth and Gratitude
00:42:08
Speaker
What has been the thing that has filled your cup?
00:42:10
Speaker
I mean, I think I am coming off of a journey. Like it's still so fresh. I'm only a few months postpartum. I think that relationship that I have with my IPs is something that's amazing, but also like What it's done for my family, like, my family sacrificed so much for me to do this. Like, you know, my kids love to go on bike rides, and that's something we would always do. But at 35, 40 weeks pregnant, like, I'm not getting on a bike. like...
00:42:41
Speaker
so like them sacrificing for me to do this was amazing. And like what it's done for our family, like, I don't know, just the beauty of it all and what's come of it is, has been amazing. Like, and I know kids understand surrogacy better than most adults because they just don't complicate it. And so It's just cool to see like, my kids and, like, them explaining it to people and just, like, i don't know.
00:43:17
Speaker
Like, where my family started and where we were before surrogacy and, like, where we are now is just... It's so cool to, like... have those relationships and just the, the adventures we got to pay for a vacation for us. And that was cool. So like just the opportunities that it served us and like what we've, um, kind of gotten out of it. And like, I don't know, like, i just feel like my kids are almost better because of it. Like, I don't know.
00:43:49
Speaker
Yeah. Well, again, it's that not only is it, like you said, they get to grow up with these kids. And I kind of, I always call like sorrow kids, like first friends, of you know, there's, there's something so special about that. And you're so right. I feel like, you know, my own, my own kiddos, it kind of was always just, yeah, it's just what mom does. Like, you know, there's, there's no questioning of it. There's no complicating it. It's just like, well, yeah, duh. Why wouldn't you yeah like, you know, just Just that kind of thing. They do. They make it so simple. and But it is such a blessing.
00:44:23
Speaker
yeah whether it's you know Yes, of course, it's the fun vacations and you know things that can come with that. But it is the... It's the relationships we've built and that we have for life.
00:44:34
Speaker
like It's so cool. It is. It's so beautiful. Well, yeah Cassie, really, thank you so much for being here and for sharing so much of your journey with us. i mean, your story, your heart and the community that you have built are such a gift and have had such an amazing ripple effect. And um I just, I'm so, so grateful for you. And I know there's so many, whether they know it or not, are so grateful for, you know, just what you started and what you continue to do. So thank you so, so much.
00:45:08
Speaker
Thank you. it's fun to be on here with you.
00:45:30
Speaker
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