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How One Surrogate’s “Why Not?” Created a Family
60 Plays8 days ago
In this episode, Whitney talks with Samantha, a mom of two whose simple “why not?” led her to become a surrogate for two dads — and help create a family.
Samantha opens up about the real surrogacy journey: what inspired her to start, what the process truly involves, and what it felt like to see two fathers meet their baby for the first time. She offers an honest, compassionate look at what it means to support others through one of life’s most meaningful experiences.
This is a story about choice, courage, and the incredible ways families come together today.
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Transcript
Becoming a Surrogate: Samantha's Story
00:00:00
Speaker
How can why not create a family? That's the question at the heart of this story, because for Samantha, those two words changed everything.
00:00:10
Speaker
and I have two kids of my own, one boy and one girl. And, but I was just really good at being pregnant. Both of my pregnancies were very boring. um And which is a good thing. And I was like, you know, why not? you know, there's so many people out there that need help you know starting their family and basically why not?
00:00:34
Speaker
That simple why not led Samantha to become a surrogate for two dads, a decision that would show her and all of us just how powerful love and purpose can be in building a family.
00:00:45
Speaker
I can't even describe how magical it was to watch them see their baby come into the world. In today's episode, you'll hear the real emotional journey of how one woman's courage and one family's dream came together across hundreds of miles.
Introduction to 'Create a Happy Family'
00:01:02
Speaker
It makes me very happy and very fulfilled to know that the why not turned into this, you know, and that baby is so loved.
00:01:14
Speaker
If you've ever wondered what it's really like to help create a family or how one simple why not can lead to a moment that changes lives forever, this episode is for you.
00:01:25
Speaker
Enjoy! Who knew it could take more than two people to have a baby? I'm Whitney Hall, a two-time surrogate, now part of the team at Egg Donor & Surrogate Solutions.
00:01:36
Speaker
And I've seen how life-changing this process can be when you feel informed, supported, and confident about your next step. Each week on Create a Happy Family, you'll hear real stories and expert insights from hopeful parents, surrogates, egg donors, and professionals, all to help you understand what it really takes to create a family in this way.
00:02:01
Speaker
Because at the heart of it all, we're creating happy families, one relationship at a time.
Inspiration and Motivation for Surrogacy
00:02:11
Speaker
Okay, Samantha, thank you so much for being here. Your story is such a beautiful example of how surrogacy is about so much more than just carrying a baby. And you even shared your journey so openly with you know the the tagline of just the pouch, which I love. But let's start at the beginning. What first inspired you to even become a gestational carrier?
00:02:40
Speaker
um I would say, I mean, I have two kids of my own, one boy and one girl. And, you know, we decided we're done. Like, we're very happy with the two that we have.
00:02:52
Speaker
And but I was just really good at being pregnant and very it was just it was just something I enjoyed. And both of my pregnancies were very boring um love it and which is a good thing.
00:03:05
Speaker
And was like, yes. And I was like, you know, why not? You know, there's so many people out there that need help, you know, starting their family and basically why not? And I did ask my sister if she wanted me to carry for her because she does, um,
00:03:26
Speaker
If she were to want to have a baby, she would need some help. ah Ultimately, she said, no, I'm good with your littles. I will hang out with them. And I am perfectly happy with that. So i was like, okay, well, I'll go see if I can help somebody else.
00:03:43
Speaker
Amazing. was there a Was there a particular story or moment where you were just like, I absolutely 100% want to do this, not even waffling, like, nope, I'm absolutely doing this.
Exploring Surrogacy and Finding the Right Agency
00:03:59
Speaker
um No, I just wanted to do it. I i had my daughter um in September of 22. And by March, I quit my job because I wanted to stay home with her and my son.
00:04:12
Speaker
um And then I got bored. And I was like, I saw some another surrogate online and I was like, you know, I want to do that and I want to help somebody. And that's how that whole thing went on. And I signed up. I actually started with a different agency first and.
00:04:37
Speaker
They kept dropping the ball. So I started again, you know, more research and things. And egg donor and surrogate solutions was like high on the recommendation list.
00:04:49
Speaker
So I was like, I'm going to try them out. And I filled out the application and then I met you and yeah it just went on from there.
00:04:59
Speaker
But no, it was very easy. i I said that I wanted to do it. I talked to my husband. He was like, okay, yeah, sure. I was like, okay, I'm going to for it. I love it. I love it. It doesn't have to be complicated. It's just like you said, why not? Why wouldn't I? Yeah. yeah That's amazing. You said you mentioned how you kind of had first started, started with a different agency. And then you said you did kind of some further research because things just weren't adding up. What was, i know a lot of people sometimes whenever they kind of go down the road, with maybe one plan, um you know, sometimes they have a really hard time of like, well, I'm already here. Why would I start over again? Was that difficult? Or what were kind of those things where you were like, nope, I'm i'm out.
00:05:47
Speaker
I'm going make a difference. I'm going to make change. It was marking about a year and I still had not moved past the matching process. And I was a part of many Facebook groups and I just saw people going left and right. And I was like,
00:06:04
Speaker
Both of my pregnancies were fine. And why? Like, I want to help somebody. And this is taking incredibly too long, you know. And i I started asking questions and the communication was down. And I talked to my husband. I was like, you know, it sucks. Like, I've been in this for almost a year.
00:06:24
Speaker
And, you know, the the medication or ah medical records, you know, getting those like that takes forever. And then getting clearance and all of this. It was just I did so much.
00:06:37
Speaker
And it's not going anywhere. So I was like, it's going to be hard and we're just going to start all over. But what's the point of just sitting here and not being able to move past this? So I was like, i i'm I'm done. I'm going to go look. And I told him, I said, I.
00:06:53
Speaker
I'm leaving. I'm going to someone else. So, which I'm happy. and It all works out and it worked out for the best. So. No, I completely, I completely agree. No. And that's amazing that you were able to, you know, just recognize that and then made, i know a tough choice to, especially after doing all of that to, you know, go ahead and like you said, start over again, but obviously it was, it worked out exactly like you said
Choosing the Intended Parents
00:07:24
Speaker
for the best. yeah I mean,
00:07:26
Speaker
Every great surrogacy story has that moment where, you know, you find it's the two families, they come together and it just clicks. As you got to the matching process, what stood out to you as you're looking through all of those, you know, intended parent profiles? What made you decide, you know what, this is it?
00:07:48
Speaker
Um, i With you guys, you guys sent me so many to look through. And unfortunately, none of I'm on the East Coast in South Carolina, so it's very hard.
00:07:59
Speaker
There wasn't a whole lot of people to choose from on my side. and But when I got past that, I was like, you know, it doesn't matter. like It's just distance. We can do this. And y'all sent me so many profiles.
00:08:13
Speaker
And it was hard. It was very hard to read about everybody's story. and you know, like in coming down to choosing just one. And, but the parents that I chose, um, they, their relationship, um, length was the same as me and my husband.
00:08:33
Speaker
it was very, like, and it was long. Like we had been together for like, at the time we matched around 13 years that we knew each other and they were the same timeline, except they were a little bit older.
00:08:45
Speaker
So i was like, they're perfect because they have the love, they have the foundation, they've been together, they have all these little hiccups are out of the way and they're ready to have a baby, you know, and bring in more love.
00:09:01
Speaker
So they really stuck out to me because they had such a strong foundation already. And this is just adding more specialness to it, you know?
00:09:14
Speaker
Yeah. oh that's beautiful. I know you mentioned, uh, you know, location and everything, obviously, you know, you guys are not local and I know that can kind of, that can really be a concern for a lot of people. How did you, know, keep that connection strong?
Building a Connection with Intended Parents
00:09:32
Speaker
Like you said, it's just distance.
00:09:34
Speaker
Yeah, no, I mean, they were, they were in Texas and so that's halfway across the United States, you know? um We kept up like after, you know, during the process, during the journey, like every week I would send them, you know, like the baby is a poppy seed or the baby's a strawberry, you know, every every Wednesday morning I would send it.
00:10:00
Speaker
And, you know, we would go crazy. Some of the weeks, like the cute, like strawberry, I would send a gift that, you know, like would be a strawberry. um And I just, I just kept it going like that. Yeah.
00:10:16
Speaker
I don't know. Like we it was just natural, I guess. And I was excited to share as much as I could every time the baby moved or, you know, when he had hiccups, like I would send videos. I would like my whole phone to be filled with videos and pictures.
00:10:30
Speaker
And then I'd send them and, you know, they would go crazy. And it was just it was it was natural. It was great. I love that. I know that can really be a concern for, you know, when you're first meeting intended parents, right? You have that match meeting and it's, you know, a blind date, but we're talking about a uterus sort of situation. And, yeah you know, I think a lot of people say, oh, we really want it to be natural and we really want it to be organic.
00:10:56
Speaker
but not a lot of people know how that happens. You said you were just the communication was, was open for you. Did you, how was that for, for them as well? Was it like, what was that back and forth like, I guess?
00:11:10
Speaker
Um, I would say, I mean, we may like, you know, text the back and forth multiple times a week, then you throw in the appointments and, you know, um they definitely have busier lives than me and my husband. Like I, um, I just stay home with my, my kids.
00:11:25
Speaker
So, um, I'm nonstop just, you know, rattling things off as they're happening. As it got towards the end, like, it was more, you know, detailed, like, oh, when the baby comes, we're going to do this. We already have this planned. And, you know, some of their other friends were pregnant as well.
00:11:43
Speaker
So they were going to have, like, a little sibling when they came. Aww. Oh, I love that. I love that. I know one of the things that was so special was you got to attend the baby shower for them that their friends threw and you know all of that. And not every surrogate gets to gets to have that you know experience. What was that day like for
Emotional Moments: Baby Shower and Birth
00:12:08
Speaker
you?
00:12:08
Speaker
i It was surreal. Just watching them. in their community of family and friends and neighbors and coworkers, like everybody there, there was at least, I would say 50 people there and no, yes, it was, it was big. And, you know,
00:12:30
Speaker
um it was just surreal, like seeing all of their people, you know, that are going to be there to love on this baby. and like, they were just,
00:12:43
Speaker
it was just natural. It was, they were having a baby. It was like a normal baby shower and they were celebrated. And there was so many, like they opened up their gifts that night in a smaller, smaller setting and just watching them like glow up and and sparkle with all of the little baby clothes and It was just great.
00:13:09
Speaker
Like I was super excited. I got to go. i was so happy they invited me. They wanted it later. And I was like, no, hu I'm not getting on a plane that late. But they moved it. they They moved the date just for me. It was it was very nice of them. And it was very nice to see.
00:13:28
Speaker
So I was very happy to go. Yeah. oh that's beautiful. And it is so wonderful to see you know, it's not, you're not just making parents, you're making grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, you know, like you said, you know, siblings by another family, like the whole yeah thing. I mean, yeah It was just great.
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah. oh I love that. I love that. And it definitely makes all of those shots and medications worth it. And all of them, you know, just all of that. Yeah, for sure. This was your first journey. How did, how did it feel as, you know, you're going through those steps and, you know, you're experiencing a clinic for the first time and gosh, transfer day and all of that. What was that like as you were just going through that?
00:14:24
Speaker
um I was pretty excited about everything. I, you know, the only time that I was like super nervous and overwhelmed was transfer day because it was something that I've never experienced before.
00:14:39
Speaker
um i would say the only part that really made me, you know, nervous about it was after the fact when I was going home.
00:14:51
Speaker
I was in the airport. Me and my husband were getting tacos. And he just looks at me like, and i don't I don't even know what the look was, but I just broke down and started crying.
00:15:01
Speaker
he was like, what's wrong? And I was like, I don't know. Like, I feel overwhelmed. I like, I have this precious cargo. and Like, there's something, you know, that I'm carrying now. And like, it's real. Like, it's happened. And I'm going home. And they're staying here, you know.
00:15:18
Speaker
That was the only time that I was like, oh my gosh, like this is happening. And like, my husband was like, well, it's too late now, you know, like we're, we're way past the the point of return. And I'm like, no, it's completely fine. But like, but like, now, like, I've just realized that it's, it's real, you know, like this is happening.
00:15:38
Speaker
And like me, I'm a very go lucky type of person laid back. I'm like, okay, let's do this. Like this whole journey, like my family, you know, was like, are you sure you want to do this? I'm like, yeah, I don't I'm good to go. Like, I don't care. I'm ready to go. yeah And every, during the journey, the other thing about the journey, like there's a lot of steps and it takes time and the collecting of records and legal, like, Oh, um but all of the steps, I was like,
00:16:07
Speaker
I'm a very impatient person too. So I was like, I want this done now. Like every time I got an email, I was immediately answering back. I was like, let's keep this ball moving. Like, it's not going to be on my account that we're not moving.
00:16:19
Speaker
But i um I think the whole journey, like it was very easy, very boring, just like my other pregnancies. it was just a breeze and it was probably the best journey to have as a first one. So I was very lucky and happy that,
00:16:37
Speaker
it worked out the way it was. Yeah. Well, it's so funny. i think you're so right because I feel like if you are absolutely ready to make this happen and you are that type of person that's like, let's keep this ball rolling. It can be so easy to, you okay, what's the next step? What's the next step? What's the next step? And then sometimes those moments of reflection where you're in the airport eating a taco and you're like,
00:17:02
Speaker
Oh, wow. Let me just like take in the magnitude of like what is, is happening, you know, yeah can be overwhelming. I think you did such one thing that I think is, you know, it's like I said earlier, it's so special that you documented everything.
Sharing the Surrogacy Journey
00:17:20
Speaker
um so well, what made you, what made you decide that you wanted to share your experience publicly?
00:17:29
Speaker
um I wouldn't say i shared it for others. It was mainly for myself to like, look back and see where I started and like what all I went through to get to this point. um But it did.
00:17:45
Speaker
keep others in the loop so I didn't have to, you know, text every person and be like, hey, this just happened. Here's a picture, you know. um And i think I think maybe some people were excited to follow along. i don't I don't know. But I mainly did it for myself so I could go back and look at pictures and, you know,
00:18:04
Speaker
like during the medication protocol, it it was a lot. But like, now that I go back and look at it, I was like, wow, I did that. And it's over. I'm happy that I don't have to take shots and do patches anymore. But I did that. And it was in, and it made a baby. And it it was just, I don't know, i just, I just, I just documented mainly for myself.
00:18:29
Speaker
And I would say maybe to help others, like, maybe want to you know, do surrogacy or share share information at least. um I mean, sharing information is very powerful.
00:18:43
Speaker
So as many people share and, you know, spread the information that they would never even come across, you know, helps. We'll get right back to the show in just a second.
00:18:56
Speaker
But real quick, have you ever wondered what it would be like to help create a family through surrogacy? At Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, we've spent 18 years walking alongside women who said yes to making a difference. And we'd love to support you as you explore if surrogacy might be the right next step.
00:19:14
Speaker
Our team includes women who have been surrogates themselves. So when we say we understand, we truly do. You can download our surrogate journey and compensation guide at createahappyfamily.com.
00:19:26
Speaker
It's a big decision and it's okay to have questions. This is your invitation to find out more. All right. Let's get back to the show. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you mentioned, you know, at the beginning, you just, you saw a surrogate online and you were like, oh, that's, that's interesting. Let me find out more. yeah And here you are, you know, sharing your story. Yeah.
00:19:48
Speaker
I love that. Yeah. Okay. Let's go to our favorite part. Please walk us through delivery day. What, like, ah give me the highlights. What stands out?
00:20:00
Speaker
Um, leading up to delivery, my coordinator, Pacey, absolutely best coordinator ever. I am so blessed. Yes. She was on the ball every day Whenever I texted her she was on it.
00:20:19
Speaker
I'm like, give me a call. I need help on it. Like best. Um, but leading up to delivery, she, you know, went over a delivery, like, where are the parents are going to be, what are they going to expect, you know, and which I'm glad that you guys have coordinators for us because I don't know if I would have been able to, you know tell the parents what I wanted.
00:20:43
Speaker
um What I told her is not what happened at all on delivery day. Not at all. i um I carry for two dads. So they,
00:20:55
Speaker
I was like, I want them in the room. They need to experience it, but they need to be like, you know, just be mindful. And, you know, she was. older yeah just Yeah. sure Yeah.
00:21:07
Speaker
But we ended up doing an induction and we went in on a Sunday. it was around like five, I think. um I had the mechanical induction with the balloons. They put that in and.
00:21:21
Speaker
and um I started contracting a little bit, but it was manageable. and the boys were dads.
00:21:33
Speaker
You know, they were in town already. and they were like, well, just let us know when you're your okay and for us to come. I'm like, yeah, sure. They were like, we'll bring you dinner at the hospital.
00:21:45
Speaker
Like, whatever you want. So they brought it. We ate. And then they played a board game with my husband. And they were like, oh, yeah, they were just in the room playing with the board game. And they were like, are you sure you don't want to play? And like, by that time I had eaten and I started having contractions. And I was like, no, I'm good. I'll just sit here and watch, you know, I'm good. Are you sure you don't want to play?
00:22:11
Speaker
and But I didn't, I didn't, you know, tell them what was going on. Because, you know, at for at first, like, you don't really know. Like, what's happening? But I was like, no, you guys play. So I just watched them play. And then they went home.
00:22:24
Speaker
The balloons fell out around 11. And i was ah three centimeters dilated. And the doctor was like, oh, let's start Pitocin. And I was like, no, I'm tired. i want to go i want to go to sleep.
00:22:38
Speaker
So they left me alone somehow until 8 o'clock that morning. I got them to leave me alone. And... I don't know how I did it because they kept, are you going to, you want to start it now? I'm like, no, I'm tired. I'm going back to bed.
00:22:54
Speaker
And so I slept the whole night and I was like, okay. And I contracted here and there, but it wasn't, you know, progressing. So I was like, fine, we'll start. chaing um And by that time the, the, the parents came and they said, good morning, you know, said hi. And,
00:23:15
Speaker
let us know what you need. The hospital set up an extra room for them. They were able to go and hang out in that room while i you know, just to relax and had me time.
00:23:27
Speaker
and then when they started the Pitocin, it really, you know, started to hit. And i was like, I don't know how much more I can take of this. And the parents were like, well, just let us know, you know, when it's time. And I'm like, I don't know when it's time, but this has got to stop. So I ended up getting an epidural because I was like, no more.
00:23:52
Speaker
And I had the epidural. Then I went back to sleep. I just went back to sleep. Yeah. like I'm loving this so far because again, like you said, like, it's so great to kind of already have the, you know, chat of like, Hey, this is kind of what to expect sort of situation. And so you're not feeling like you have to host them in your room or anything. It's like, come in, come out. We're good. It's established. That's great.
00:24:20
Speaker
And they were very, they were very respectful. They were just like, okay, just let us know when you want us to come back in. i'm like, okay. I remember sleeping. I woke up at one point and my husband was looking at me and a oh really weird face. And I was like, what was wrong? And he was like, you're the under your bed is like a complete puddle.
00:24:39
Speaker
And I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, there's a pool under your bed. And I was like, I don't, I have a catheter in. I should be fine. He was like I'm just going to call a nurse. And I'm like, okay. She comes in and she's like, whoa, your water's broke. Yay. Like, let's go. And she was so excited. And I was like, okay, like, let's get this party started.
00:24:59
Speaker
And so they checked for me and i was ready to go. 10 centimeters. Let's go. Like, Yep. Wide open. So my husband was like, y'all need to get over here now. Like she's ready.
00:25:12
Speaker
The doctor's coming in Let's go. And they came in and they went immediately to the back corner, back corner, just beelined And i was like, okay.
00:25:24
Speaker
and the doctor came in. She asked if I was ready. And I just broke down because, you know, all these emotions started happening. I'm like, this is happening. I'm having a baby. The parents are here. They're really excited.
00:25:35
Speaker
you know, and they're about to meet their baby. And I just started losing it. And she was, she was, oh, it was, it was great because after she was like, all right, we're doing this. You're fine.
00:25:49
Speaker
It's happening. And I'm like, okay, fine. And I got back in control and she was, she was like, let's, let's get you set up and we're going to start pushing. And then I don't know why, But I was like, y'all need to get over here, like right here, like right next to me.
00:26:04
Speaker
You need to move over. My husband was at my head, you know, taking pictures. And they were like right next to me, like whatever. And i don't know why I did it. And but I just knew that they had to be there, like right there. They needed to see. It wasn't about for me. i was just like.
00:26:23
Speaker
the privacy went out the window because this moment of them witnessing their baby coming into the world was like, I was like, I want them there. So they were right by my side. And when we started pushing, one of the dads was holding my hand and i just kept looking at them. And I'm sure it made them feel awkward because I'm just like all exposed and I'm just staring at them because I i don't know.
00:26:52
Speaker
I was like, I was so excited, excited to see their face um when it was happening. And his head was coming out. the The doctor was like, do you want to catch him? And the the dads were like, no, like, we're good. And I was like, are you sure? Like, this is the time to do it. and they were like, no.
00:27:12
Speaker
And his head was coming out and he, the doctor was like, do you want to look like he's right here? And they were like, no. And I'm like, you get down there and look. Like, you look at your baby's head. Like, he is coming. like And so they were just like, you know, peeked around. And they're like, you could see their face like, oh, God, this is happening.
00:27:32
Speaker
And ah it was just great. It was so exciting to watch them. um And then he, I pushed for like nine minutes.
00:27:43
Speaker
And that was it. He was out. And Then the one dad actually agreed to cut the cord, which I was see super happy that he ended up doing it.
00:27:55
Speaker
And was and their faces, like it was, I can't even describe how magical it was to watch them see their baby come into the world. Like this whole journey just resulted in these couple seconds, but then it was just worth it, you know?
00:28:17
Speaker
And they got to do skin to skin. And then like five minutes, they're like, do you want to hold him? And I'm like, no you need to go hold your baby and and love him. And they were like, but you know, like, he you know, you could hold him. And I was like, no, you go, you go enjoy him, stare at him, you know, and cuddle him and sniff him. You know, i was like, I don't need to, I can wait.
00:28:44
Speaker
But it was so sweet. They were just immediately like, do you want do you want to hold him? I'm like, no, I just gave him back after all this time. Like, you enjoy him. Yeah, I've been holding him. i've got Yeah, I've been holding him. You hold him now.
00:28:58
Speaker
Yeah, I've been feeling him kick for a very long time. And, man, he was a mover. Like, he constantly was moving all the time. And I was like, no, you go enjoy him. I'm good.
00:29:13
Speaker
Oh, that's so beautiful. But I think you're so right. You know, right. Everybody, I feel like every surrogate always gets the question, you know, oh, how can you give up a baby? And you're like, but no, no, no, I'm not giving up a baby. I'm giving back a baby. And those seconds of seeing, you know, parents meet their baby for that first time that, I mean, that's it. That's the finish line.
00:29:38
Speaker
beho Yes. And, and watching Pete debate, like, He was just opening up his eyes and he was just looking at his parents. And you could just tell that he he knew he was back where he was supposed to be.
00:29:52
Speaker
And I got to take care of him and make him safe for so long. But he just knew like when they were holding on, the baby just knew like he was just he was so content and it was so natural and it was meant to be like it was perfect.
00:30:11
Speaker
I love that. I know you've kind of, there were, you know, a couple of moments that you've already mentioned that where you were just kind of hit with the big feelings of realization of what was real, of, you know, all of this.
00:30:28
Speaker
What was there a specific moment that, As you're looking back, that really made you realize the magnitude of what you were doing.
00:30:43
Speaker
I don't, I honestly don't think it's hit me yet. Like I'm yeah over, I think how many weeks am I? Like 10 weeks postpartum or is it eight? I don't remember, but I still don't think that it's like registered that,
00:31:00
Speaker
Like I did all of this and now it's over. We still talk every day. They send me pictures, you know, so it's kind of hard to like look back and like have a closed journey because it's still going.
00:31:13
Speaker
and and I love it. But like, I look back and I'm like, I had a baby and now they're parents. And, I think the distance plays the part where I don't see them every day. i only see, you know, pictures and stuff. So I don't think it hits me as, as hard as it probably would if they were closer or I saw them more often, but the whole journey, I, I don't know. i just don't think it's ended. Like it's still going. And yeah, I'm sure it's going to hit me eventually, yeah,
00:31:52
Speaker
I don't think in a bad way. I think, you know, seeing them be parents going through, you know, the motions of the night, the nights and the feedings and whatever. And they're, you know, just, just venting and everything. And I'm like, Oh my God. Yeah. Because your parents, like it's hard.
00:32:13
Speaker
I'm not going to, you know, downplay it. It's hard, but like they're, they're experiencing it and it's, It's all because i was just, you know, i want to help somebody and I want to
Reflections on Surrogacy's Impact
00:32:25
Speaker
carry a baby. yeah Yeah. Like, why not? And now from going from why not to they're just, you know, being parents and it's it's great. And and that baby is so loved. And and it's just really.
00:32:40
Speaker
it makes me very happy and very fulfilled to know that the why not turned into. this, you know, and I'm so happy.
00:32:53
Speaker
i was just carefree and just went for it. Not that ever you should do your research, but, but I, I don't think it needs to be as hard as it needs to be sometimes, you know, I feel like more people should just be like, why not?
00:33:11
Speaker
I couldn't agree more. And I think you're so right. I feel like I don't think we need to, I think we need to change the verbiage around like, oh, the journey ended. and I think we need to change it to like the journey transitions. yeah Because it is that, you know, like, oh, now it's,
00:33:30
Speaker
we're both parents together and I'm hearing you talk about those late night meetings or it's, you know, like, Oh, what's their, you know, Halloween costume going to be this year or, you know, like that. I mean, gosh, I was just, um I was just texting with one of my intended moms and she's telling me about, you know, a fit that her daughter threw while she's taking her to pre-K and, you know, and this is years. Like I delivered in 2020, like we are years from this and now it's not, you know, it's not surrogate and intended parent. It's my friend, my parent friend. yeah I, you know, yeah and I just happened to play a pretty big role, but you know, like it's transitions.
00:34:12
Speaker
Yeah. And I, ah depth it definitely transitioned because there was no ending. I felt like it was just, we just moved to the next stage and it just keeps going. And it's great because I can't,
00:34:27
Speaker
I don't know. I'm very grateful they send me pictures and give me updates because I don't know how I would feel if I didn't get any, but I am super grateful I do because just seeing how much he's growing and what he looks like now and what he's doing and hearing the baby sounds again.
00:34:44
Speaker
it is like perfect. It's great. It's very healing. ah How did your kids hand, you know, how, did what did they think of, you know, mommy's belly getting bigger, but baby, baby goes to a different house.
00:35:00
Speaker
Um, when this first started, my two kids were two and four and my daughter just turned three now. So they're both relatively young. Um, my son, he'll be five in February. So he's a little, he's very smart, but he's, I don't think they really,
00:35:20
Speaker
Not that they didn't care. They just, they're very busy. And so I don't think they were very aware of you know, me growing and the changes that were happening.
00:35:31
Speaker
um And I had lots of people helping me on my end, you know, to get me to the appointments and like transfer transfer and stuff like that. They went to their Mimi and Opa's house and, you know, so they were having fun. So I don't think they were very aware towards the end.
00:35:49
Speaker
My daughter was very clingy and she was very cuddly. And like every time I had like my shirt pulled up, she would like come and like lay on my belly. And, um, and I would, and I wouldn't keep anything. I would say what was happening or I would have conversations. Now, if they understood or even listened to me, I don't, I don't know.
00:36:15
Speaker
Um, but I never kept anything from them. my, My son at one point towards the end was like, and and they met the intended parents too. um When they came for the anatomy scan, we all went to the zoo together and went out to lunch. So they met them and we explained, like I said, if they remembered or listened to, I don't know.
00:36:38
Speaker
um But towards the end, my son was like, I can't say that. I don't want to say the baby's name, but baby are like, is he coming home with us? And I was like, no, like I'm, I'm having the baby for the two, the two dads that you met.
00:36:56
Speaker
Oh, okay. And then moved on. And then, you know, a couple of days later he would bring it up again. And every so often he would ask and I would say, and he was very content with my answer. He never, you know, why, like, why can't he come home with us? Like it was almost, he, maybe he understood or he was just happy.
00:37:16
Speaker
you know, of the answer that he heard. Now, my daughter, she was just, you know, like I said, very cuddly and she's younger. So she didn't really ask questions, but that um leading up to it, I was just like, oh, just a couple more days. And then, you know, the parents get to meet baby R it's going to be exciting. And then he's going to go home with them. they just like Okay.
00:37:41
Speaker
And after delivery, they came by the house before they went back home. And they got to see the baby. And my son was like, oh my God, that's a little baby.
00:37:52
Speaker
And my daughter, you know, just sat there and stared at him and they were just in awe and like seeing them, you know, like witness this baby, whether they realized what was happening or not, it was just really beautiful to see them so accepting of this, you know, process and stuff. And They just absolutely love the intended parents, too. So it was great to, you know, do the full circle of we went through this whole thing and they met them and now the baby's going home. And we were just stood on the porch and waved by to them as they drove away. And my kids were happy with it. They didn they didn't mind a bit.
00:38:34
Speaker
Well, they had closure. They knew, you know, they had this story and then it was like, okay. And exactly like what mommy said, you know, and there goes baby with, with dads and it's perfect.
00:38:46
Speaker
yeah Yeah. What surprised you most about your, sir your surrogacy experience that you wish more people knew?
Advice for Prospective Surrogates
00:38:54
Speaker
I think when I, when I went into it, I,
00:38:58
Speaker
See, it's really hard to like justify this journey because like I said, I was with another agency at first and like going through the process with them. it was very drawn out and like just not how it should have been. So when I got to you guys, you guys were just on the ball, like with everything. And it moves so fast. Like I came to you guys in, I think, March of last year and I delivered in August.
00:39:27
Speaker
And lose quick so yeah, so it was, i would say the the most surprising thing that I, I, that I didn't know about going in was I thought it would be a longer process like the agency that I was with before, but it's really not like it is a long process, but it's not that long. And you can, if you want things done, you can get it done.
00:39:55
Speaker
And I definitely think researching is something that I should have done more. um i just didn't have any anything that went wrong with you guys. So I don't like I said, it's just great.
00:40:10
Speaker
But also boring because there was not really any hiccups. So, like, I don't know what I was expecting. so Yeah, well, this is kind of one of those experiences where experiences where maybe, you know, surprises. we We do our best to where you're not surprised. i was I was never at a point where I was like, wait, what?
00:40:29
Speaker
This? What? So... um I guess the only thing that really surprised me was that I actually got to pick my intended parents because the first agency just sent me one profile at a time. It was like, here, do you like them?
00:40:45
Speaker
You know, whereas you like you guys sent me a whole bunch and I got to choose. And it was that probably surprised me in going from one to another because I was like, oh, my God, like I get to choose and.
00:40:59
Speaker
It's not something that should be taken lightly, but because it's very hard to read everybody's profile and and just choose one. like But yeah it was very nice that I got to choose the family that I was helping, you know?
00:41:20
Speaker
What advice, if any, would you give to someone who is thinking about being a carrier? Um, probably research, make sure you definitely know who you're, um, signing up for.
00:41:40
Speaker
Obviously I'm definitely going to say choose egg donor and surrogate solutions, but you know, not a bias, um you know, thing at all. Not at all.
00:41:51
Speaker
Um, don't do it if you don't plan to do it twice, because i am, um, I want to do it again. Like I, I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say addicted, but like, i I just want to help. And the only thing that I'm super upset about is that I can't do it more like a whole bunch of times in my lifetime, because, you know, there is a limit, there is the age limit, you know, and how many pregnancies you can have.
00:42:21
Speaker
So that's the only downfall that I would tell somebody like, if you don't want to do this more than once, You know, like you're, you're gonna, you're gonna want to do it again. tough Yeah. But I love that. um If you, if you could go back to the very beginning, what would you tell yourself about starting this
Personal Growth and Lessons Learned
00:42:45
Speaker
process?
00:42:45
Speaker
I would say I was very hard on myself at the beginning. Cause I felt like, um, I don't know. listened to other people, you know,
00:42:58
Speaker
There was a lot of people that were like, are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want to choose those people? Are you sure um you don't want to go with these people? Are you sure you don't want to go with a different agency?
00:43:09
Speaker
um i would tell myself to Yes, get advice and help from others, but really sit down for yourself and know what you want and who you want to help and do your own research, because.
00:43:28
Speaker
Having a lot of opinions really, i wouldn't say set me back in the beginning, but it was harder to get past like different thoughts and stuff. um Because choosing two dads was not something that everybody agreed with.
00:43:47
Speaker
um To me, it doesn't matter because if you, if, If the people read their profile and saw where they were coming from and the community that was surrounding them, you wouldn't even think twice if you knew it was two dads because you'd be so for them.
00:44:12
Speaker
And...
00:44:16
Speaker
I just, the advice I would give myself is to not listen to too many people. Well, it's not them. It's not them. that's it's it's It's exactly like what you said. It's their opinion, but it's your journey. Yeah. And once I got, yeah, once I got past that and i was like, you know what? I don't care.
00:44:33
Speaker
i want to, I want to care for that. And even during the the video, now that I recall, they were like, why us? Like, why would you choose two dads? And I'm like, I don't know.
00:44:45
Speaker
Like, why not? why would like Again, again, why not? Like, what does it matter? You guys, you guys are ready to have a baby and you have such a strong relationship. Like, why wouldn't I?
00:44:56
Speaker
I mean, that baby's going to be loved like endlessly. So it it doesn't really matter at that point. Right. And it was actually very shocking that they asked me that. I was like, I don't know.
00:45:08
Speaker
Why, why not? Love makes a family. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, Samantha, it truly has been a joy getting to be at the very beginning and then watch, you know, just as your amazing journey unfolded. um and I am just, I'm so grateful for all of the ways that you have, you know, not only brought a beautiful life into the world, but have also just been so,
00:45:41
Speaker
I mean, i am so proud of just you and how loud and proud you are of everything that like you have done. And I know it's kind of hard to take like that compliment, but yeah I am, I mean, it, it, it is, it's, you know, when you go from why not to like, Hey girl, this was a really big deal. I think it's amazing. And that should be celebrated. And I, I'm so happy for you and just, you know, all of just the impact that you have made, not only on, you know, your intended parents and their community, but just as a whole. um It's a big deal. And I think it's amazing.
00:46:16
Speaker
Well, thank you. i I would say this is probably one of my my favorite things that I've done besides having my kids and, you know, my husband and stuff. But this was probably one of the best choices I've ever made because it it's just so magical and so surreal. Like,
00:46:35
Speaker
I can't even just, I could stay here all day and I probably would never give you a straight answer because it's just, it's wonderful. and i it's just perfect. It is. It is. No, you're so right. You are so, so right. I couldn't agree more.
Surrogacy as a Rewarding Experience
00:46:49
Speaker
i have one last question for you and it's a fun one. um You probably, you may or may not remember, but probably during our interview, i had a cup of coffee in my hand and here I am again. So anyone who knows me, they know that coffee and I,
00:47:03
Speaker
we We are twopeas two peas in a pod. So I always love to ask the question, what has filled your cup today? Literally or figuratively, what has been the thing to fill your cup?
00:47:19
Speaker
I knew this question was going to come up. so um But i would I would really say just being here and doing this with you because like you said, like I had the interview with you and going back ah but late or last March, like going from that to now is complete full circle, like you said. And it's just something going over the whole journey and looking at, looking back at what happened and how the journey's transition and kept going.
00:47:55
Speaker
It is a full circle. And it's just something that fills my heart to know that from the why not, what have I got to lose to now seeing these parents become parents, you know, to a beautiful baby boy.
00:48:11
Speaker
It's that's what's filled my cup because I can't even think of, i don't know. I was very excited to do it. And now that I look back at it, it's just, it makes me very happy that I did.
00:48:24
Speaker
And yeah.
00:48:28
Speaker
I love it. I love it. Absolutely amazing. Well, thank you, Samantha. I, again, I'm so grateful for you and I am so glad that you and I got to have this chat. And, um, and again, i just, I love that we get to celebrate the amazing thing that, you know, just we get to do.
00:48:47
Speaker
It's a great club to be in. and i'm I'm really excited to do it again. I hope I can do yeah many, many more. Absolutely. A hundred percent. Yes. Well, I know we'll be doing this again for sure. I hope, I hope not soon, but soon enough.
00:49:05
Speaker
That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was August when you delivered. We've got a little bit of time. Oh, i I can tell you the second we walked out of the door, I was like, all right, let's go.
00:49:19
Speaker
Let's go. Come on. Hey doc, give me my, give my clearance. When where are we going? Yeah, yes, definitely. I love it. I love it.