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They Gave Life — and Found Purpose
47 Plays11 days ago
Two women share how becoming egg donors changed their lives in ways they never expected. From emotional surprises to lasting connections, they reveal how giving the gift of life gave them something even greater — a deeper sense of purpose and love. 🌿
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Transcript
Introduction and Life-Changing Decisions
00:00:00
Speaker
I got to start a generation for a family. Like, this was it. This is what I was called to do. That's Chelsea, a single mom who said yes to donating her eggs, not realizing that by helping someone else to create their family, it would completely change her own life.
00:00:16
Speaker
They sent me like the sweetest letter that it was just basically expressing their gratitude. And it was, I still have it saved. um And I'm not a crier. I don't tear up a ton. but i i distinctly remember like walking outside of a class and getting the email and just sort of reading it as people were passing by and just like filling up with tears because it was just such a touching gesture. And that's Sarah, a college student who thought egg donation was just a way to help until it became one of the most emotional and meaningful experiences of her life.
00:00:52
Speaker
From the funny way they each first heard about egg donation to the emotional connections they formed along the way, Chelsea and Sarah discovered what it truly means to help create a family.
00:01:03
Speaker
In this episode, you'll hear how two women with completely different stories decided to become egg donors, why the experience was far more emotional and more life-changing than they ever expected, and how compassion, communication, and the right support can make all the difference.
00:01:22
Speaker
If you've ever wondered what really happens when you help create a family and how it might change your own life, this is how becoming an egg donor changed their lives forever.
Financial Motives vs. Emotional Rewards
00:01:32
Speaker
Who knew it could take more than two people to have a baby?
00:01:36
Speaker
I'm Whitney Hall, a two-time surrogate, now part of the team at Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions. And I've seen how life-changing this process can be when you feel informed, supported, and confident about your next step.
00:01:51
Speaker
Each week on Create a Happy Family, you'll hear real stories and expert insights from hopeful parents, surrogates, egg donors, and professionals, all to help you understand what it really takes to create a family in this way.
00:02:07
Speaker
Because at the heart of it all, we're creating happy families, one relationship at a time.
00:02:17
Speaker
Okay, so Sarah, Chelsea, you two amazing egg donors. Okay, just off the bat, like how is this even a thing for you guys? How did this even come to be?
00:02:29
Speaker
Um, okay. I guess I'll go first. Um, go Chelsea. So it kind of became a joke years and years ago. Um, really, truly, I'm not kidding. It was just like funny things. My friends that I would do for money. Um, I was like early, early twenties. And so, um, I actually grew up with a friend who was an egg donor and so, yeah. And so years later,
00:02:51
Speaker
um my mom and i ended up chatting and she was like did you know that did you know so-and-so was an egg donor and i was like no is that how she was able to travel like i'm i'm not kidding you like travel just everything you know all sorts of stuff paid for go just like go back to school all these things and um so she's like you should reach out to her so i was like yeah we'll see well somehow somebody magically beat me to it and actually who donated through egg donor circuit solutions and contacted me. She was like, you should be an egg donor. And I was like, that's so weird. Cause I was actually just thinking about this. And gosh how funny yeah. And so I'll be a little bit more transparent. I'm actually, I'm a single mom and how I, I i mean, I'll just be honest. I got pregnant on one night stand and I was like, Oh, okay. This is, you know,
00:03:36
Speaker
Not everybody is as fortunate. And so it was one of those, like being a single mom and my son and my co-parent. And there's just so many things that I was just like, it was a beautiful blessing. And I was like, ah there's so many families out there that...
00:03:50
Speaker
married or unmarried that are, this is what they want and it's not happening for them. And so I was like, why not? I kind of feel, I don't want to have another kid. I feel like I'm being selfish. And so let's just do it.
00:04:03
Speaker
It took me about two months to submit my application. i was going really back and forth about it. My family was so excited. They were like, do it. This is so your forte. And I did and I got accepted and it was the best thing ever did.
00:04:18
Speaker
Oh my gosh, that's amazing. And how unique that your family was the one that was like, oh no, this is totally your thing, you should totally just it. Oh, 100, and it wasn't like, it don't get me wrong, it wasn't like the money thing, it had nothing to do with that. It was just like, um We, we have a really fun, very unique family and we all have just kind of done some weird things in general. And my mom knew I didn't want to have any more kids. My sisters, um, I have two sisters, but I have one niece. She's 15. Like none of us have are planning to have more children. None of us are married. And i was like, why not? And so I'm very healthy. um
00:04:58
Speaker
I have great family health history. And so I'm like, I just feel like we're we're withholding something from the world. And so we did. And my family was so excited about it. And so we were like, why not? like like literally Legitimately, they were the ones that were like, please, please, please, you need to do this.
00:05:16
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's amazing. That's absolutely amazing. Okay, Sarah, what
Egg Donation Process and Initial Concerns
00:05:20
Speaker
about you? How did like this fall into your lap? Yeah, no, we'll just say I think that's awesome. And I think kind of starting off, mine was a little similar in the sense that I also had a running joke with friends being in ah middle of college, actually, during my journey. um when we had the running joke of what would you do for money kind of situation. And um honestly, it was one of those things where we had heard about it. I didn't know anyone personally who had ever done it. Again, I was in the middle of college. So I was like 21 at the time. And so wasn't really intending, you know, just didn't really have any plans or forethoughts about um starting a family in the near future, really, or at the time getting married or anything like that. um
00:06:06
Speaker
And I knew at you know, kind of given what I chose to do career wise, that it was something that it could have very well been a while anyways. Um, and so it had gotten brought up sort of as not necessarily as a joke, but sort of an idea that seemed almost like so far fetched, um, amongst friends. And I was like, well, what if you donated it? Like, you know, how much do people make donated eggs? You know, you've heard of it.
00:06:29
Speaker
Um, or least I had, but, um, you know, like I said, had never really known what that process looked like or, you know, anyone who had gone through it. um And so had started actually just out of curiosity, looking around a little bit. I think some wonder what Chelsea had said.
00:06:46
Speaker
um Having a healthy family history, I think being really, really fortunate to have good health personally. um i think just more of like knowing that I was in a place where it was You know, something that many people will consider a gift. I think it is a gift. yeah um And I think too, exactly. And I think knowing there's a lot of people out there that don't have that and something that it's not something to take for granted in that. um even something like fertility and good health.
00:07:16
Speaker
yeah And so for me, I actually had put in like you know, you put in your little profile and, you know, you what your aptitudes are as a kid and all those kinds of things. And to be honest, I never expected to actually get picked.
00:07:29
Speaker
um And it was one of those things like, well, you know, why the heck not? And I think it was about two months later. or So I actually got a call from one of egg donor solutions, it was Katie who I actually now still keep in touch with, um who I believe who had contacted me saying, hey, there's this family who is interested in, um you know, seeing you as an egg donor, would you be interested? um And again, at the time it was like,
00:07:55
Speaker
really? Like, yeah yes, it's the wildest phone call. You're like, wait, this is you, this is a thing. it's yeah exactly. It's like always the thing that trumps like the first facts that you give, you know, when you have to give away the fact about you're like, I'm never going to call.
00:08:09
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Be like, well who who is going to call me? yes um Who is, i mean, again, you just kind of think to yourself, like, I mean, just in general, like, again, what are really are the odds here? um And I did,
00:08:24
Speaker
So when I got chosen, it really didn't take very long, I think, to make the decision to go through with it. um And I think similar to what Chelsea said, it really was one of the best experiences. I think it was one for me. um i um i think at that time in life and kind of what I had then, it was something that it I think it was the perfect time for me to do it. And I think looking back, um at the time I wasn't happy, know, I didn't have kids. And I think now being more in the mindset, um, in the chapter of life where like, you know, my, me and my husband want to start a family soon. I think just meaning that much more knowing that,
00:09:06
Speaker
yeah you know, you can't help a family. I think through, what I, what I thought was very minimal things. Um, yeah. I'm following few rules and things. So I love that you don't have kids yet and you saw such a significance and then me looking at it, me having a kid viewing the same amount of significance, you know, i think that's, it makes it so beautiful being a woman, you know, forgot he yeah that value of life.
00:09:32
Speaker
I could not have said it better in myself,
Realizations and Industry Evolution
00:09:34
Speaker
Chelsea. I think it's it's so funny because I think both of you were kind of like, you were just joking about, i mean, Sarah, you said, you know, oh hey, what would we do for money in college? I mean, gosh, when we're all eating ramen and broke and student debt you know debt and all of the things. And then Chelsea, where you had the experience of, oh, that person I knew and they traveled and they did this. and like And like you said, you know, you had a kid and you were like, I'm good. and you know, all of that, like, I think it's so... fast, like just amazing that you guys kind of came from this fun little seed. And then it just was like, Oh no, this is way bigger than just that. Don't get me wrong. Compensation is always nice, but I mean, there are way easier things to do than, than this. And it was not, it's not the easiest process. i mean, let's be honest. So yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So to go back just a little bit, Chelsea, I know you said someone kind of beat you to the punch and like reached out to you from egg donor and surrogate solutions. And then Sarah, How did you find us?
00:10:33
Speaker
I think Google. And I think I did a lot of vetting to make sure y'all weren't like a pyramid scheme or anything. oh um That's what I thought. That's so funny. Yeah. i would i agree with the girl so Exactly. And I remember distinctly, like i was around my girlfriends and it's so funny now. Like, I mean, I donated um almost eight years ago now, eight, I think. And I think just being at that like quintessential age when you, think you know, when you, you think you're an adult a little bit. And now looking back, you realize yeah you weren't.
00:11:07
Speaker
And just, you have like all of your like knucklehead friends that are the same way. And distinctly remember all of us sitting around my computer, like trying to go through and do like, you know, the FBI thing that girls do where they're like, okay, well, let's find out everything about this place. Let's just make sure. Cause like, we don't also want you to get murdered somewhere. Sure. Well, and it's eight years ago, internet too. So like, there's only so much you can do. we yeah exactly exactly. Sarah, how old were you when you donated?
00:11:36
Speaker
I was 20, I was 22 when I actually donated. just I was considered an old donor. I can say I donated at 28. Oh, really? I'll be honest. I, I look back at, you know, the requirements and I don't, I was not in the same mindset.
00:11:54
Speaker
I could not have done that at 22. I think for me, it was like, you know, I was, I knew that I wanted to do a career where it was going to require me to be in their school. I knew it was going to work more or something that I just personally, um and again, like obviously like have, you know, the age at which you want to have children or how it happens with the, you know, the place you're at when you start this journey, I think it's so personal. There's no right or wrong decision with it. But I knew for me, at least it was something that like, I wasn't in the mindset to be a parent. And it was something that, again, it wasn't obviously that I was against, but it was something that,
00:12:32
Speaker
I knew I was healthy. I knew, you know, with, you know, I had enough, I think, knowledge and understanding, through friends and through family.
00:12:46
Speaker
um And hopefully a little bit empathy, I think, just to understand that, you know, fertility is not this, you know, for some, you know, so for some, it's like, you know, quick, good and go. doesn't take much. For others, it's ah it's so much more. I think it's so, um i am met and again, I say this now, still not having children, but I think still so deeply personal.
00:13:07
Speaker
Yeah, um yeah. And can be painful. And i think I think at that time, that was something that didn't know much, but I knew that. Yeah. but' go It's so unique. I love that. I love hearing that.
00:13:20
Speaker
Yeah. and And again, like eight years ago, i think so much has changed in the industry from then to now. so much. Yeah. So many things are different and people are talking about it more and, you know, just things like that. And so I think it's, it's huge that, you know, you guys did this at that time yeah and yeah and and all of that. No, that's, that's absolutely amazing. Okay. So,
00:13:44
Speaker
You were vetting us, Sarah, and decided that we were not a pyramid scheme. And so, yay. And I'm so glad. is funny. is funny. Because I low-key felt kind of the same way. But was like, oh, leave for someone. I think everyone's just got to check it a little bit. It's just, it's like vetting a guy. It's like just vetting someone if you ever, like, go on a date. And you just you just got to make sure. You just got to check the LinkedIn. You got to check the receipts and things. and no why now as i Absolutely. As I end up on a podcast with y'all.
00:14:18
Speaker
It's interesting too, because I feel like, um, you know, especially now I've seen, you know, people trying to match like independently, like on Facebook groups and things like that. And you know, that to me, I mean, I'm mostly in surrogacy land. And so when I think egg donation, and like that, I mean, both of them, honestly, I'm just like, that is so wild west y'all. So I tell everybody, you know, like that's what I do love about egg donor and surrogate solutions. Like it's fresh versus frozen.
00:14:43
Speaker
So I had friends that have actually donated to banks and I'm like, you couldn't pay me money to donate to a bank. Yeah. What makes you say that? You're kind of... I know you're a number.
00:14:53
Speaker
I know you get the egg donor number. Like I get that, but it's, it's you just kind of donate to the bank and they're like, bye. And then they freeze your eggs and somebody can go shopping in the next 10 years. Like what I loved about egg donor solutions is I didn't feel like a number.
00:15:07
Speaker
I was a number. You're, was going to say you're, you're a number because. But I was that nude. Right. But you weren't. but ah Yeah.
00:15:18
Speaker
Like, I know that like my care coordinator who I still love. And I do have to email you back, Melissa. I promise I will. Okay. I've not forgotten about you, Melissa. Shout out to you, Melissa. That's my girl. That's my girl. I love it. I love it. She made me feel so special and valued. And even if I had never known my IPs or anything had been in communication, I still always felt valued by you guys 110%. Yeah.
00:15:43
Speaker
yeah I think too, one thing to add, and this is a little bit off. So and so this is, I'll kind of be quick about this, I think without it being like a tangent or very off topic, but I think also like having it been years later, i mean,
00:15:57
Speaker
You know, i I reached out in 2017 even to know, to hear what happened with the outcome of the pregnancy.
Emotional Connections and Personal Impact
00:16:03
Speaker
The first one in which my eggs were used. yeah And I got a response from the same people. And I think also like, ah Chelsea, I had a really similar experience to you. And I think on top of that, like my healthcare team with that and like the reproductive endocrinologist involved and like just, yeah I think that means such a difference because again, when you're working with a high volume of patients and with families having, I think now been in the healthcare sector,
00:16:26
Speaker
um industry myself. And knowing like, again, you do have to have a certain level of connectedness and I think really attention to people into detail.
00:16:37
Speaker
We'll get right back to the show in just a second, but real quick, have you ever thought about doing something truly meaningful for someone else? At Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, we've spent the last 18 years helping women like you make a life-changing difference by becoming egg donors, giving hopeful parents one of the most precious gifts possible, the chance to grow their family. If you're healthy between the ages of 21 and 28 and curious about how egg donation works, we'd love to support you. You can download our egg donor journey and compensation guide at createahappyfamily.com.
00:17:12
Speaker
you might be the missing piece in someone's family story. All right, let's get back to the show. and I love, i love hearing how cared for you are because yes, you know, for all intents and purposes, egg donors have to have a number, but that doesn't mean you are that number. Yes. Correct. And you know, you are still, you're Chelsea, you're Sarah and you're, you know, Melissa knows that. And Sarah, I think you had Callie and she knows that. And you know, like it's, yeah, you're so right. Just because, you know, and I know,
00:17:43
Speaker
it's kind of gone away from that. It's, you know, more known donor cycles versus, you know, once upon a time it was all anonymous, you know, quote, quote, but, but yeah, I mean, it is, it's important. You're doing big things and that doesn't mean that your, your feelings are not part of that. And yeah, it should be treated as just kind of, okay, let's just, we're going to you know, get from point A to point B and be done. Like, don't get me wrong. i feel like I was still okay with being like, this is not about me. Like this is the whole, but this is an egg donation. Like I, I went into this selflessly and I'm still getting a very, like a huge blessing that I did have a good blessing kind of come from this quote unquote. But so I was okay of being like, you can treat me like a patient. Like it's fine. You don't have to. And then I was like, oh my gosh, like,
00:18:37
Speaker
Thank you so much. You know? Yeah. So going to the matching process, I know you both kind of had two different journeys and, you know, Sarah, yours was a little, was not a known donor cycle. So, you know, anonymous for lack of a better word, but, um, and you found out in 2017, just what that, you know, everything that came from that. Tell us, you know, my, uh, parents, um, or my intended parents, excuse me. Um, they,
00:19:07
Speaker
we're trying to have a kid for 10 years. And so it was something that, again, like I went through the screening, I was told I was healthy and everything. And they did all the the biomarker checks and the now the, you know, what they need to do. sure um But again, it was like, I think for me sort of being optimistically cautious, um just hoping and praying it was going to be something that was good. But knowing again, it's ah it's a complex process, right? For someone to carry a baby.
00:19:33
Speaker
um And so I think for one, yeah, and One thing that was really, really touching when I was in my process of being an egg donor and we were just getting ready to start the medications themselves and they were going to send in all that. And, you know, you're kind of getting ready to go through that regimen. And they had sent me, um it was anonymous. So I guess it through egg donor solutions, but they sent me like the sweetest letter that it was just basically expressing their gratitude. And it was, I still have it saved. um And I'm not a crier. I don't tear up a ton. Like I don't cry at Titanic. My husband thinks I'm like a sociopath. um But I distinctly remember like walking outside of a class and getting the email and just sort of reading it as people were passing by and just like filling up with tears because it was just such a touching gesture that they obviously didn't have to do it, but it was basically talking a little bit about their background. I believe it was two men
00:20:34
Speaker
that were married, they lived in an adjacent state and were just describing kind of like their journey and what they were really, really hoping out of this. um They had mentioned something to the effect of calling me their donor angel, which I'm like, oh my gosh, like, yeah. Wait, is that really what they called you? go back That's what my family calls me. They got me an ornament with an angel on it for Christmas.
00:21:04
Speaker
I really do. I have it. I really do. That's what they call me. I have it in a note. I have an ornament. Okay, you'll have to send it to me because like it is so it was just guess it was one of those things. like I was about to turn I don't know what the f freak i'm doing. you're at that time in life too where you're just trying to figure out like the world is your oyster but trying to figure out how do you even make those decisions and I think just some you know I've come like well I think this is something I'm gonna do and I think just um I think just receive such open arms I think even through people that I didn't know um i didn't know their names I think just was I think really spoke to like even being anonymous how moving it was um and then so
00:21:55
Speaker
that had happened um donated in the spring and then in the fall it just one of those things i'm like oh yeah i did that a few months ago yeah i had moved at the time i had changed jobs and stuff i graduated and so was like oh i should probably i want to know what happened um and i reached out and they had mentioned you know they had a healthy baby girl who was born ah Oh, yay.
00:22:23
Speaker
Yes. Or not born, but she was on her way, I guess. That doesn't yeah that make sense. But they were on her way. And then actually followed up a year after that. And she they had mentioned she was born and she was healthy. Oh, I love that. Yeah. So I think even like, um and again, it's one of those things we have in that maybe one day, you know I think we had talked about it through the pandemic and things. And um we had both been kind of open to it in the future.
00:22:50
Speaker
And letters like that letters like that are the why. Oh, they're the why. Don't get me wrong. Like, it's fun to travel if you get the opportunity to and, you know, all of that jazz, but just that why at the end of the day, just, you know, oh my gosh, you were you were an egg donor angel. Look at all of us. Look at you guys. Oh my gosh. Okay. So Chelsea, I know yours was different in that you ah did a known cycle, meaning like you, you know, met, communicated with your intended parents.
00:23:24
Speaker
How, what what kind of how did you decipher that that was the choice that
Building Relationships with Intended Parents
00:23:30
Speaker
you wanted to make? And then how has that been since? Okay. So I, I,
00:23:35
Speaker
open Like I said, I was open to the known cycle, um but that's not really how it started. You're fine. You're fine. my Our doctor at the time, great doctor, he was just very old school about things. And so as you know how the egg donation process works, you know you you do you go fly to wherever your family's clinic is. right you have to go to the clinic. you have your medical screening appointment, right the psychological evaluation, all of that. Well, then you have your...
00:24:02
Speaker
your appointments here, your follow-up appointments all yes in your state. So your monitoring clinic. Well, the doctor didn't want that. And so he wanted me to do all my monitoring appointments in that city. So that is a plane trip. And so they were like, ah so here I am. yeah i'm a I work full-time. I'm a single mom.
00:24:23
Speaker
um, sweet Melissa called me and was just like, okay, so we have a problem. So at the time I did not know my family. I did not know anything about them. And so she was like, i just want to give you like a heads up. This is what the doctor's requesting.
00:24:36
Speaker
And so I was like, Oh God, like all I'm thinking is like, ah okay, like, am I not allowed to do this anymore? Like, um, what, like, what do I do? And so she was like, well, the, um, you know, the, the family has to, there's just so many things that now they have to do. And so, um,
00:24:51
Speaker
I was like, well, yeah, well, and that's when I was told about how much they invested into this. And I was like, well, I, I'm not leaving. And they're like, well, what, what? was like, they're like, we, we told them that possibly like getting a new donor was probably their best bet because you don't live in that city. And I was like, okay, well, I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll call my boss. And there I was like, sign me up. And they were like, oh my gosh. So we're, I will never forget this. i was sitting in a public parking lot, sobbing my eyes out with Melissa on the phone.
00:25:19
Speaker
And I was like, I can't say no. Like, I can't say no to this family. I'm not doing that to them. And so she was like, okay, let me call her back. And so she calls the IP. They call me back. And so she was like, um she's incredibly thankful. The mom, I told her everything. And But we have a question. And so i was like, okay. And so they're like, would you be open to meeting each other? And she just wants to thank you in person. And I was like, are you joking? Like me? Are you sure? And I immediately like, it's the typical woman things. Like, do I look like my headshot? Do I look like this? Like, oh my gosh. Like I totally was freaking out. like Am I an imposter? No. So I, um,
00:26:02
Speaker
So here's the funnier thing. So I thought I was going to meet them after my retrieval. And so, um, we did the appointments and I landed in this, their city and, um,
00:26:14
Speaker
i and I wasn't even able to check into my hotel. And they were like, okay, we'll see you in 45 minutes. But I was like, ah oh okay. So I got ready in a Starbucks bathroom. And I'm like trying not to cry this entire time. Like it's happening. We had a 45 minute appointment set up and we stayed in the Starbucks for six and a half hours. And we just sat and chatted and talked about life. and And um she gave me a really sweet box and it had some handwritten notes in it that she had And it was, i it was funny. I was FaceTiming my friends. I didn't want to open anything. cause She said, she's like, don't open anything. And it had like, she got me a mug and some gift cards. Very generous, very kind. And up she's like, don't open them. Take it back to your hotel. And was like, okay. And then that's when I, I found the note and i was like, yes. was the most beautiful
00:27:10
Speaker
And it was like, this is this is actually freaking happening right now. Yeah. Well, and it's so, i mean, yes, like Chelsea, yours is so unique in, you know, just how it happened and how, you know, just you guys have that connection. And then Sarah, I know like, but you, you haven't met them, but you still have that gorgeous yeah connection, like those letters and just knowing, and you, you know, you know that like the positive outcome that came from it. And so Well, you know, just the fact that you're able to just make that connection with those intended parents is huge. It's just huge. Absolutely. Okay. So let me have you guys answer this question.
00:27:55
Speaker
Looking back, I'm glad I was an egg donor because... Um, I'm glad I was an egg donor because women are, um'm so I'm saying it, we're badasses. We are like, look what we get to do. Look like you were a surrogate. You, you carried somebody else's child, like to bring life into this world. And it's a very, um, I feel like if you would have asked Chelsea before the process, I'd be like, Oh, I'm a, I'm an egg donor because I need some money, you know?
00:28:26
Speaker
And then afterwards it's, um, Because I got to start a generation for a family. Like I celebrated my 30th birthday last year. Oh my God, I'm getting old two years ago. oh my God. how old of us um When I celebrated my 30th birthday, it's the 30th year, you know? And and i I woke up and was just like, it my my birthday felt very wild to celebrate. It was just like, if it was not for me on this planet, like i could not have done that.
00:28:56
Speaker
Like this was it. This is what I was called to do. I'm glad I was an egg donor because
00:29:06
Speaker
i think through prefacing again, the the process itself was definitely more, um, it was more hard. It was harder in some senses, I think that I'm giving that, but I think for a relative, you know, for a few
00:29:21
Speaker
additional things, you know, a few, couple a couple things for me to do, i got to give a family
00:29:31
Speaker
he the gift of a lifetime. Literally like you're their angel. You're their angel. Oh my God, the ornaments. The ornaments.
00:29:43
Speaker
It's so funny because it's like, like you mentioned though, it's, I think that's a good point. It's a friend, you know, and you have your friends that see you through chapters of life and then you have, you know, friends or connections like that, that it's just this thing you're like,
00:29:58
Speaker
you know, don't know if, you know, how God or fate or whatever, you know, people, you know, y'all may believe in brought you to on this path, but the fact that you're here and, you know, importantly, the fact that not only that, but like they get to,
00:30:13
Speaker
have their life and fulfill their purpose because of that gift. And I think also to know you're like, just, you know, you're rooting for them. And I think just learn, know, that it turned out good and they got that kind of happiness. It's like those little glimmers of humanity, I think, within that process that I really underestimated.
00:30:31
Speaker
Well, it's that, it's that why, right? Like, I mean, again, like it's, it's just that why you wouldn't do this if you weren't, like you said, Sarah rooting for them or, you know, and I mean,
00:30:44
Speaker
you're so right. Emotional capital, finance, all of the things that got intended parents to where they are, whether it's trauma or this is the only way going to be able to have a genetic family or whatever their story may be, you know, for any egg donor, you have to care about that. And you're rooting for you those intended parents. And I mean, Chelsea, like you said, you know,
00:31:10
Speaker
You had friends who did it for like a frozen bank. You don't know. You don't know how those things are going to end. You'll have, you'll, you won't have an idea of that. but I don't love that situation. You know, right? Like, you know that you have these amazing intended parents, both of you and you get to hear like, Oh yes, they, you know, Oh, we just celebrated a first birthday or, you know, like just things like that.
00:31:33
Speaker
Okay. So what do you think any potential intended parent or any potential woman who's thinking about becoming an egg donor, what do you think they need to know?
00:31:44
Speaker
My mom always said this really cliche statement, lower your expectations or raise reality, you know? Oh, interesting. Yeah. It's at the end of the day, this is somebody else's journey, you know, and how they kind of want to go about things like i love what I love about egg go to solutions is, you know, we do the, the psych eval and things like that. Just make sure like you're, you're good with that and keeping the heart in it, but keeping it transactional. But so when, when something does happen, you're like, this is awesome.
00:32:15
Speaker
like This is a, it's a little win and like keeping just that, just an ah an understanding attitude through the process. An understanding attitude through the process, meaning, I think you've said it a couple of times, like this was, yes, it's about me in the sense that I'm going through this process physically, but ultimately I'm doing this for someone
Advice for Future Donors
00:32:37
Speaker
else. Yeah, absolutely. 110%. Yes. Yeah.
00:32:41
Speaker
I think kind of similar to what Chelsea said, i think be cautiously optimistic. Yeah. Ooh, like that. Yeah. And I think also recognizing that, like, realistically, again, it's wonderful that there's services like this available companies like egg donor solutions that are available. But I think also, like, no one dreams of this, if that makes sense. Like, a lot of people who, well, a lot of people who, again, are in this may not, you know, may not necessarily, again, want to be in the position they're in, for example, if maybe, again, they're having problems with fertility. Or they're having problems with X, Y, and Z. And I think recognizing that like, as someone who chose to be anonymous, I think recognizing that like wherever you are at, as long as you understand, again, like the stuff that we're supposed to know through psych evaluations and stuff, you know, you guys bring us for, I think knowing like, this is in some ways transactional, but at the end of the day, like, again, keeping in mind the bigger scheme of things. And think recognizing that like,
00:33:45
Speaker
again for example if you know you know if something doesn't happen or maybe parents don't reach out and I think maybe there are some expectations that may not necessarily have gone you know the way you sort of and rationalize them I guess at the beginning I think back to the whole being cautiously optimistic but i think also having empathy for just this is a very human process like not to get too touchy about it but and I think um you know, recognizing that even if you don't ever meet them or even if the outcome doesn't happen the way it is, I think just remembering also like this is about us as donors trying to give something to someone who needs it.
00:34:32
Speaker
And I think that's kind of the bare bones idea of this process. And I think just to really keep that in the back of our minds and I think just to have empathy with that. love it. I think it's hard when you know you're learning how to you know, inject, youre you know, you're learning how to use the medications or you're learning how to do X, and Z. I remember I had a grad party. ah My mom name was very supportive and we had to leave real quick. i was like, I'm gonna the bathroom. We went out to like, we went into the bathroom and I was like, can you get my injection real quick? Period of doing my metaphor shop. Yeah, exactly. And I think just the stuff that like, it's,
00:35:06
Speaker
when else like it's just such a different scenario and I think just to kind of have gratitude for that in hindsight I think was is a big thing yeah for sure well it it's so low Oh, go with the flow. Like be nice to your doctors, be nice to the clinic, show up to your freaking appointments on time. Like, no, I'm serious. The bar is low for expectations. The bar is low. Like just be nice.
00:35:37
Speaker
Yeah. that nice Just be nice. We say that in general, just be nice in general. yeah But yes. yeah Well, it's, it's so funny. I mean, you know, I know you guys have mentioned like, Hey, keep a transactional expectations, you know, set the bar low and things like that. And I think what also you have said previous is you had your coordinator, you had Melissa crying on the phone with you in a public parking lot. You have Callie that you can reach out to. Hey, you just checking in How are things, you know, like, yeah you have someone there that while you are also showing empathy,
00:36:12
Speaker
in the process, someone else is giving you that empathy as well. Yeah. Yeah. is It definitely is intended parents or maybe they're going through something. And of course you might not know what that is and you know, all of those things, but you at least have that coordinator that's holding your hand the whole way and, you know, being there for you.
00:36:29
Speaker
That was, I think one of the coolest, most unique things that was provided by egg donor solutions is the coordinator. Oh, a thousand percent. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Like what she did. And I was just like, oh okay. Thank thank you. i'm i How do you do this with like 10 people a day? You know, however many people a day are like, Oh,
00:36:52
Speaker
The things that Melissa, like the amount of things that had to be changed in my first cycle, because I got her for the second one too. I was like, you, that your house is massive in heaven. It's massive. The things that you, are like your capacity is unmatched. Unmatched. I don't, I. And she has that, just that, that calming voice where you're like, oh, everything in this world is going be okay. Like when she talks to you you're just like, oh my gosh, Melissa.
00:37:21
Speaker
on one tour I'm like, Melissa, I love you. you like you're even You're literally, like how I'm feeling in a text message and vocal is how you are in person. That's true. Incredible. incredible That's humans.
00:37:34
Speaker
And they're all, like all of your coordinators who were like that too. yeah Who did else did I have met? Well, I was like Katie. um I met another coordinator as well. Incredible.
00:37:45
Speaker
was like, I just want hang out with you guys. I have to say we're really we are Very fun crew. We got it. Well, again, like, right. Like it's, it's that heart and soul. It's people who see you as people. You're not numbers. You're like, you're, you have been invested in just as people.
00:38:03
Speaker
And that's like, that's a big deal. And it it says a lot about like our head space, Sarah. Like we just went in and we're just like, Hey, we're just, we're just here to help. You know, I think just, it was a good experience. It was, you know, as as a human, like it's a weird experience, but like it's,
00:38:19
Speaker
it's nice to be able to, like, again, be on places like this and hear people like you, Chelsea, where, like, you had such a similar experience even being a different walk of life. And, like, again, joking with you, Whitney, that, like, yeah, low-key thought you guys were just camp at first. And, you know, just, um I think, coming back and expressing that. But I do, I think, like, highly recommend, again, if you're in a headspace to do it with, like, being an egg donor,
Gratitude and Personal Growth
00:38:43
Speaker
do it. Because I feel like at some point, like, I am, yeah I have a much more a much wider, I guess, perspective and much better perspective, I think, from my experience doing it. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Oh, I love it. Okay. Final question. It's a fun one.
00:39:02
Speaker
So for anyone who knows me, they know that I have a very codependent relationship with coffee. So let me ask you, despite the fact that we are recording this, like, well, I'm in central time zone. So 820 is easy. But, um, okay. What,
00:39:18
Speaker
filled your cup this morning literally or figuratively what filled your cup well funny thing I actually spilled my coffee this morning oh that hurts my heart to hear oh no it really did I really right when you said that I was like oh no coffee really did that hurts my heart what made my day my day <unk> So actually I travel with work. I work all over my city yeah and I i and do OT with young kids and stuff. And so I had actually um not been to this particular school in about a year. so I hadn't seen them or anything, but I had, I'm friends with some of the directors of the school. And so i walked in and I just hear coach Chelsea.
00:40:02
Speaker
And I was like, Oh, like oh my gosh and you know you I work with kids 24 7 like that you yeah it's a humbling job and um these like four directors like wrap their arms around me and I was like oh gosh like how have you been how's life how's your son and like all this stuff like how's co-parenting and they just wanted they they gave me some value this morning and I was like oh okay like i even I was late I had to actually I had to do my classes and had to go to my boss houses to pick up a equipment she called me and so when I got to her house she's like hey were you good and I told her what happened and she was like you needed that didn't you and i was like no I did I did it made me I love that it feels good to be recognized it did and if I was doing stuff and every you know we asked what do you do and get off work and I don't have my son tonight so this dad's and everyone kind of just you know are you
00:40:57
Speaker
going to your friend's house what are you doing and i was like i'm actually gonna do a podcast they're like what for what about my egg donation journey they're like wait what so oh i love it i love it and then just starts it now you just talk about it yeah Yeah.
00:41:16
Speaker
So everyone's like, well, tell me when it comes out. i'm like, well, okay. Oh, yay. It was It was sweet. It was cute. So besides the coffee spilling, and did I get more coffee? No, but that was my budget. sounds like your cup was, yeah, your cup was filled in another way. Yeah. What about you, Sarah? um We're in a very caffeine-dependent household. So um occasionally, like, my husband's schedule changes every month right now with his training. And so, which is, you know, difficult, but we make it work. And he, this month, has been kind of leaving um about 30 minutes to an hour before me. Still pretty early in the morning. And so um it's funny because it's just like one of those crazy times of life when you're like,
00:42:01
Speaker
You know, when you try to catch up with friends and you're like, yeah. And you're like, okay, what's been up with you? I know you've been checked out I've been checked out. Let's talk about it. And yeah this week has been kind of that with him and I. um And so we were talking and um saw him a little bit um this afternoon when we were off work and I called him on the way home, you know, calling him about work or you know, just talking about random stuff during the day. And he was like, okay. And we were talking about like, he was like, oh, what do you want to do tonight? And I was like, oh, I have that podcast with egg donor solutions. He's like, really? And like, he was like, okay, let me know. Cause I want to hear it too.
00:42:38
Speaker
ruger is like downstairs listening. um So I don't know, just having people I think that are supportive. And I think, um like I said, just kind of reflecting back on this, like, oh, I was, you know, had my,
00:42:50
Speaker
you know, like every 22 year old, probably my head on my butt in so many ways. And I, this is actually a really cool thing at that time. Um, I don't know, just being able like talk with you guys. And, um, I think if people, you know, kind of be excited about it.
00:43:03
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, it feels so good. It feels so good. Yeah. No, you're so right. I, um, the first time I was a surrogate, I was 20, e
00:43:16
Speaker
25, yeah, 25, 26. And um i remember just going through it and it was like, yeah, I'm doing this and, you know, whatever. And then it wasn't honestly probably until afterwards, like maybe like a good year. And I was like, oh yeah.
00:43:35
Speaker
Wait, like after you had delivered the baby? After, after, very much after, very much after I was, know, cause it was just like, Oh, no, exactly. Like what you said, Chelsea and you Sarah was like, take my eggs. I'm not using them. Why not? Like whatever. And I was like, Hey, I'm done having kids. Like, and I can do this. And I'm, actually quite good at it so yeah let me you know whatever I'm gonna carry the baby yeah and so it was just yeah but it's so funny that you both like in retrospect it's like oh no that was like a big deal and like I did a thing yeah I did a thing I a thing it's always funny to hear somebody else's like I know how special it is I do I really do But, you know, time goes on. Like when I was thinking about how long the bill it was. Yeah, life right? Like life does not stop. You keep, you know, whatever. Like what? The very next day after your egg donation, was like, okay, and like moving on. Yeah, I had to go pick up my son from school and there we go. I got off the airplane and there was back to work.
00:44:32
Speaker
Exactly. Well, you guys, I am so grateful for your time. I'm grateful for just you being a part of, you know, this tribe that is egg donor and surrogate solutions. And, um, I know your intended parents are just, have been so blessed by you and continue to be.