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The Tampon King: Roast of King Charles III
23 Plays3 years ago
QE2 is gone, and now her scrote son is in charge. Time to abolish the monarchy.
Charles & Camilla Conversation : https://punkee.com.au/married-at-first-sight-russell-daniel-andrews-beers/118729
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Transcript
Introduction & Queen Elizabeth II's Passing
00:00:06
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:07
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:12
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:00:13
Speaker
I'm Savannah.
00:00:14
Speaker
And I'm Lola.
00:00:15
Speaker
So today, as I am sure you are all aware, Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom passed away, unfortunately.
Reactions to the Queen's Death
00:00:25
Speaker
Why would Meghan Markle do that?
00:00:28
Speaker
No, I'm kidding.
00:00:31
Speaker
I honestly feel like, honestly, like my mum was saying that as well.
00:00:34
Speaker
Like it's Harry and Meghan's fault.
00:00:35
Speaker
And I'm just like, she was.
00:00:38
Speaker
What?
00:00:39
Speaker
Why?
00:00:40
Speaker
She's 96.
00:00:41
Speaker
But my mum's quite anti.
00:00:42
Speaker
I think in this country, you're either pro Harry and Meghan or anti Meghan.
00:00:47
Speaker
And my mum just falls into that camp.
00:00:49
Speaker
And it's like, she was 96.
00:00:51
Speaker
And it seems like if you look at her final photo with the new British Prime Minister, Liz Truss, you can see she doesn't look far from the morgue.
00:00:59
Speaker
Like her hands are literally purple.
00:01:01
Speaker
I mean, I'm being, I'm being deathly serious here because her hands are like really purple and I saw her and I'm like, oh my gosh.
00:01:07
Speaker
And she looks like she's lost a substantial, well, not substantial, but quite a bit of weight as well.
00:01:13
Speaker
And I think ever since her husband, Prince Philip, like passed away last year, it was just a matter of time before she would go as well.
00:01:20
Speaker
I just want to formally say as well, I do hope Queen Elizabeth rests in peace.
00:01:25
Speaker
I'm not a monarchist at all, but I think given the fact that she was never supposed to be queen in her lifetime, and given the fact that she came to the role at such a young age, I think that she did a phenomenal job and...
00:01:42
Speaker
I mean, I say I worry about the future of the monarchy, but I don't worry in the sense that I'm sad about that.
00:01:47
Speaker
I'm not concerned, but I do think that now she's gone, anti-monarchy movement and Republican sentiment, not just in the UK, but across the Commonwealth as well, because we still rule over Canada, technically too, is going to strengthen.
US vs UK Mourning Practices
00:02:01
Speaker
Yeah, she's our queen too.
00:02:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:03
Speaker
Queen Lizzie.
00:02:04
Speaker
It's kind of weird, right?
00:02:05
Speaker
Which is fucked up.
00:02:06
Speaker
It's really fucked up.
00:02:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:08
Speaker
We ain't got no crusty old queen over here.
00:02:10
Speaker
Hashtag America.
00:02:11
Speaker
I just wanted to express my genuine... And I'm genuinely sad that Queen Elizabeth has passed away because it was just for her.
00:02:18
Speaker
Because her son is so much worse.
00:02:20
Speaker
That's the main reason I'm sad.
00:02:21
Speaker
I mean, her son is so much worse, number one.
00:02:23
Speaker
But also, she really marks the end of an era.
00:02:25
Speaker
She's the only monarch or British monarch that my parents, that I've known, that my parents have known.
00:02:33
Speaker
And it just breaks my heart that my niece, who was born in May this year, is only going to know King Charles III.
00:02:38
Speaker
It just makes me really upset.
00:02:40
Speaker
And it's just like, when she passed away as well, like literally her body hadn't even been to the morgue before he was like King Charles III.
00:02:47
Speaker
And I'm just like, what the fuck?
00:02:49
Speaker
No!
00:02:51
Speaker
No, Lizzie, come back!
00:02:53
Speaker
I mean, yeah, that's how monarchy works.
00:02:54
Speaker
The moment the monarch draws their last breath, their eldest son, I guess now eldest child is the monarch now.
00:03:00
Speaker
But like, he's far from a child.
00:03:07
Speaker
Yeah, he's a seven-year-old man with five sausages sewn together that he calls hands.
00:03:12
Speaker
That was a joke.
00:03:13
Speaker
That was a joke like several years ago.
00:03:17
Speaker
His hands look like pork sausages left out in the sun too long, basically.
00:03:20
Speaker
I mean, it was actually like a running joke for years, like if Charles would ever be king, like if he would croak before his mom.
00:03:26
Speaker
And I remember watching like a British comedian, I can't remember who it was, but they were saying like, I bet he plays like, you know, the Lion King song, I just can't wait to be king.
00:03:39
Speaker
I bet he plays that in his bedroom when him and his mom fall out.
00:03:47
Speaker
I want to say, though, like, so Twitter, the day the queen died, obviously Twitter was extremely disrespectful.
00:03:53
Speaker
I'm not like, you know.
00:03:55
Speaker
That's your Twitter.
00:03:57
Speaker
I mean, I enjoyed it.
00:03:58
Speaker
I thought it was hilarious.
00:04:00
Speaker
I mean, I enjoyed it.
00:04:01
Speaker
I'm not going to participate in it.
00:04:03
Speaker
But I mean, I want to say actually, like, you know, Queen Lizzie, I mean, yeah, she's like, can I say actually, first of all, like Canadian reaction to Queen Elizabeth's death is very much like, yay, we get a bank holiday.
00:04:15
Speaker
Like, that's just kind of.
00:04:16
Speaker
Pretty much it.
00:04:17
Speaker
I mean, most people in Canada go like a long time not thinking about the fact that we still have a queen, like that the queen is our official head of state.
00:04:26
Speaker
She's still your head of state.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:28
Speaker
Like we learned that in grade five in like our civics class, you know, in elementary school.
00:04:32
Speaker
But like after that, I could probably go months at a time without thinking about Queen Elizabeth.
00:04:38
Speaker
And then now that she's died, it's like, oh, we get a holiday.
00:04:41
Speaker
Like, isn't that nice?
00:04:41
Speaker
So it's like...
00:04:42
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, are there people that are sad?
00:04:45
Speaker
I don't know.
00:04:45
Speaker
Maybe the Prime Minister?
00:04:47
Speaker
I mean, talking about, like, bank holidays as well, like, in the UK, so they planned for the monarch's death for, like, decades.
00:04:55
Speaker
So it was called, I think, Operation London Bridge and then Operation Unicorn because she passed away in Scotland.
00:05:02
Speaker
So originally the plan wasn't for it to be a bank holiday and everyone was like, but that's, like, the only...
00:05:08
Speaker
This is going to sound really bad, but that's like the only benefit in quotation marks to her dying is that we get a bank holiday.
00:05:15
Speaker
I know, right?
00:05:16
Speaker
People are so cynical.
00:05:17
Speaker
So they were like, we're not going to have a bank holiday.
00:05:19
Speaker
We're not going to have a bank holiday.
00:05:20
Speaker
And then like at some point late this week, Charles made it a national bank holiday.
00:05:26
Speaker
Like usually in the UK, a bank holiday is things are still open, but on reduced hours.
00:05:30
Speaker
So instead of doing say, you know, for example, 7am to 10pm, it'll be like 10am to 4pm, for example.
00:05:38
Speaker
But this time, literally everything in the UK is shut.
00:05:41
Speaker
Food banks are shut.
00:05:42
Speaker
Doctors are shut.
00:05:43
Speaker
Advice lines are shut.
00:05:45
Speaker
Even fucking McDonald's is shut till 5pm so that everyone can watch the funeral.
00:05:50
Speaker
So they're really taking this thing quite seriously and too far, in my opinion.
00:05:55
Speaker
Kind of North Korea-ish, honestly.
00:05:56
Speaker
I don't know.
00:05:58
Speaker
It's almost like it's in forced mourning.
00:06:00
Speaker
Oh, we're closing to pay our respects.
00:06:01
Speaker
It's like, yeah, I get, you know, she was the sovereign and she's passed away and it's a historical event.
00:06:06
Speaker
But that doesn't mean that life should stop for everyone else for a day, I don't think.
00:06:11
Speaker
But that's just me.
00:06:12
Speaker
Yeah, this is all completely foreign to me as an American because when our presidents die, it basically only affects the city that they're buried in.
00:06:20
Speaker
Like we have a national day of mourning and then like, or the government, right?
00:06:23
Speaker
The actual federal government will usually observe the
00:06:25
Speaker
Is it just one day of mourning?
00:06:27
Speaker
You guys are cold.
00:06:28
Speaker
You guys are cold.
00:06:30
Speaker
I mean, when JFK got murdered, it was like a way bigger deal though, right?
00:06:34
Speaker
Yeah, I guess if it was an assassination, that's a completely different thing.
00:06:37
Speaker
But like, if they're out of office and they die from old age.
00:06:41
Speaker
Oh yeah, if they're out of office, yeah.
00:06:42
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, that's what I was saying.
00:06:43
Speaker
They're out of office.
00:06:44
Speaker
They died of old age.
00:06:45
Speaker
And even if they die in office, like we've had Supreme Court justices die in office of like just natural causes.
00:06:51
Speaker
And don't all Supreme Court justices die in office because isn't it until they die?
00:06:56
Speaker
It's a lifetime.
00:06:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:57
Speaker
A lot of them actually do step down before they actually physically die.
00:07:01
Speaker
But it is unexpected and unusual for a Supreme Court justice to die in office because most of them, they'll usually retire before they actually croak.
00:07:09
Speaker
But that's why it was such a huge thing with Ruth Bader Ginsburg, because she didn't step down during the Obama administration where people were kind of pressuring her to because the expectation is that Hillary would have won over Trump won.
00:07:20
Speaker
So then she died while Trump was in office.
00:07:22
Speaker
And so Trump got an extra seat to appoint.
00:07:24
Speaker
One day?
00:07:25
Speaker
That's cold.
00:07:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:28
Speaker
It's really, really optional.
00:07:30
Speaker
It's really only observed by government employees, to be honest.
00:07:32
Speaker
That's like the government will shut down for a little bit.
00:07:35
Speaker
And so do you get people like, because people literally have been queuing for like 30 hours to see the Queen's... I believe the coffin is empty.
00:07:43
Speaker
I don't think that coffin has got her body in it, but...
00:07:46
Speaker
People have been queuing for 30 hours to see her coffin in Westminster Hall.
00:07:51
Speaker
Is that not a thing in the US either?
00:07:52
Speaker
People don't queue to see... It depends on the president and I guess how people feel about them.
00:07:58
Speaker
I think when Bush Sr. died, he was a very mid-president.
00:08:02
Speaker
What, one person went?
00:08:04
Speaker
No, I wouldn't say no.
00:08:05
Speaker
I mean, he was, there's a lot of people that like are presidential, I don't say fans, but like they're very much into like the presidential history, et cetera.
00:08:13
Speaker
And then you have people that are fans of Bush specifically, but there's like, our country's polarized enough that there's a lot of people that aren't fans of particular presidents.
00:08:21
Speaker
Then it's like, we pay them their respects like you would any president of the United States, but like, no, they don't have a fan club, right?
00:08:27
Speaker
Like, it's just sort of like, well, he's old now.
00:08:29
Speaker
Right.
00:08:29
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:29
Speaker
It's not like here.
00:08:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:32
Speaker
And there's no force enforced like mourning because of the fact that like, like at least half the country on any given president's like, yeah, fuck him.
00:08:39
Speaker
I'm glad he's dead.
00:08:40
Speaker
To be honest, I'm like, that's America.
00:08:43
Speaker
No, but presidents can only be president for up to eight years.
00:08:47
Speaker
Queen Lizzie, Queen Elizabeth, God rest her.
00:08:50
Speaker
She was queen for 70 years, right?
00:08:52
Speaker
I actually want to have a moment to appreciate a few of her most queenly moments.
00:08:56
Speaker
Like she was a truck driver.
00:08:57
Speaker
A multi-decade boss bitch.
00:08:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:59
Speaker
a multi-decade girl boss she was i mean she was queen when like eisenhower and jfk were in office that's wild she was a truck driver in world war ii okay and then the saudi prince came to visit her was it a balmoral castle she was like oh you want to like
Prince Charles as King
00:09:16
Speaker
get a tour of the estate and he was like sure she ended up being his driver and then she drove like a fucking maniac just to scare the shit out of him and troll him just to scare him
00:09:25
Speaker
And I'm like, honestly, base, like I support her for that reason alone.
00:09:29
Speaker
Yes, there's the whole colonialism thing that's like, like, you know, that's I'm glad that Charles is now inheriting that problem because he's going to get fucking wrecked.
00:09:38
Speaker
But Queen Lizzie, I mean, I can't hate her.
00:09:40
Speaker
I love her.
00:09:41
Speaker
And the way she trolled the US Senate.
00:09:43
Speaker
So when she went to, she did her first state trip, I think, or like an official trip to the US in the early nineties or something.
00:09:50
Speaker
And she gave a speech, I think it was at the White House, but they didn't adjust the podium.
00:09:55
Speaker
So you literally couldn't see her.
00:09:56
Speaker
You could just hear her voice, but you couldn't see her because they didn't adjust the podium.
00:09:59
Speaker
The next day she goes to think the Senate and Congress and she opens a speech and says, well, I hope you can all see me now.
00:10:07
Speaker
And they all just burst out laughing, just like low key trolling them.
00:10:13
Speaker
She had a moment like that in Canada, too, where she came to do a speech and Trudeau said, like, oh, you know, you've been here for so many, I don't know, 12 prime ministers.
00:10:22
Speaker
I don't remember the exact amount, but, you know, she'd been queen for X number of prime ministers in Canada.
00:10:27
Speaker
And then when she was finally able to speak, she was like, well, thank you for making me feel so old.
00:10:32
Speaker
And everyone just burst out laughing.
00:10:34
Speaker
Like, yeah.
00:10:35
Speaker
I mean, she did really seem to have a really good sense of humour.
00:10:39
Speaker
I mean, she took the role seriously, but she didn't seem to take herself that seriously, which was quite refreshing.
00:10:44
Speaker
So yeah, RIP Queen Lizzie.
00:10:47
Speaker
I'm actually kind of sad that you're gone because... Because your son is terrible.
00:10:50
Speaker
But didn't she not get along with Charles, though?
00:10:52
Speaker
Because he was afraid of horses, right?
00:10:55
Speaker
She loved riding horses, and then she tried to bond with her son over horses, but he was like, horses are too big and scary, and so they just didn't get along.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:04
Speaker
I mean, we'll touch on that because I'm quite, even though I'm not a monarchist, but I'm really into like royal history and families.
00:11:10
Speaker
And historically speaking, like royals, like siblings and families, they have quite tumultuous relationships.
00:11:17
Speaker
So I know that, for example, Edward VIII, who abdicated for Wallace, had a terrible relationship with his mother,
00:11:24
Speaker
And his brother, the future King George, who was Elizabeth's dad over the whole abdication thing, they had quite a bad relationship.
00:11:33
Speaker
Edward wanted, so basically when he abdicated, he lost his rights as sovereign.
00:11:38
Speaker
So he then had to rely on the new king for money.
00:11:42
Speaker
And Edward would literally harass King George every single day for money.
00:11:49
Speaker
Yeah, basically to the point where King George said, like, I don't want to talk to him, just don't put his calls through.
00:11:54
Speaker
And so they often, I guess, because the family dynamics would be very, very different in a royal family.
00:11:59
Speaker
Like you basically, for example, Charles's siblings, they will know that he will one day be king.
00:12:04
Speaker
And that will change the family dynamic, I think, quite a negative way.
00:12:08
Speaker
If you have a sibling who is just born to literally rule over you one day.
00:12:12
Speaker
But yeah, so let's go to King Charles III.
00:12:16
Speaker
So is this the official roast of now King Charles III, right?
00:12:24
Speaker
But I can't even bring myself to say it because it just feels just so wrong.
00:12:28
Speaker
Like King Charles.
00:12:30
Speaker
Wasn't the last two King Charleses, weren't they like really unpopular and got beheaded and shit?
00:12:35
Speaker
I think one of them was executed.
00:12:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:37
Speaker
The last two King Charleses were failures.
00:12:40
Speaker
Like Charles will be a curse name for a monarch for a while.
00:12:44
Speaker
But that's the reason why I was quite surprised that he took Charles as his regnal name because basically they can choose from any of their first four given names, which is, let me find out what they are.
00:12:56
Speaker
It's called his reginal name?
00:12:57
Speaker
Like, it's his reigning name?
00:12:59
Speaker
Yeah, it's not always the same as their given name.
00:13:02
Speaker
So Elizabeth's father was actually called Albert.
00:13:05
Speaker
But when he ascended the throne, he took the name George after his grandfather.
00:13:10
Speaker
So, I mean, so Charles could have also picked from King Philip, King Arthur, not King Arthur Excalibur and all that.
00:13:17
Speaker
Or Excalibur.
00:13:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:21
Speaker
Do not remove a Scalabra.
00:13:23
Speaker
Or he could have been another George, but he picked Charles, which I think, like Lilith said.
00:13:27
Speaker
It's cursed.
00:13:28
Speaker
Kings with the name George do better than Charles.
00:13:31
Speaker
Yeah, they tend to be better than Charles.
00:13:33
Speaker
At least they... Well, except King George III, actually.
00:13:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:37
Speaker
So let's talk about Charles Arthur Philip George of Windsor, who is now the sovereign of the United Kingdom.
00:13:45
Speaker
Where to start with Charles III?
00:13:47
Speaker
So I sort of feel like Charles III was set up to be a Scrope from a really young age because he was very close to one of his great uncles.
00:13:55
Speaker
And that was that Lord Mountbatten, who was Prince Philip's maternal uncle.
00:14:01
Speaker
And what Lord Mountbatten basically advised Charles to do was to sow his royal oats as a young Prince of Wales and then find a young, naive virgin to settle down with for marriage because basically a young, naive virgin wouldn't challenge him.
00:14:15
Speaker
And obviously that seems to be exactly what Charles did.
00:14:18
Speaker
And we all know what happened to Diana in that scenario.
00:14:21
Speaker
So I think he was sort of set up to be quite scrotish from a young age with that sort of advice.
00:14:27
Speaker
So actually, so for those of us who don't remember or know, what happened?
00:14:31
Speaker
All I know is that they eventually divorced and that basically the firm ganged up against her because... Yeah, I sometimes forget you're an American, right?
00:14:40
Speaker
Never mind.
00:14:42
Speaker
I vaguely, vaguely remember some of it, but it's like... Okay, so sit back and buckle up.
00:14:47
Speaker
So basically, Charles met a woman named Camilla Shand, who is now Queen Consort Camilla, during the 1970s.
00:14:55
Speaker
And they got really close to a boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:14:57
Speaker
However, the establishment or the firm, i.e.
00:15:01
Speaker
the royal family, they didn't believe that Camilla was suitable enough to be a wife because she wasn't a virgin.
00:15:07
Speaker
She had other boyfriends.
00:15:08
Speaker
So the relationship ended and Camilla eventually went on to marry Andrew Parker Bowles and have, and they had children together.
00:15:15
Speaker
So Camilla was off the table.
00:15:17
Speaker
Then Charles begun shopping for a bride.
00:15:20
Speaker
And actually quite surprisingly, he got turned down quite a lot.
00:15:28
Speaker
And the thing is as well, like the same thing happened to William, just to sidetrack a bit.
00:15:32
Speaker
So William, when he split up with Kate Middleton, like now known as Princess of Wales, briefly in 2007, and I was reading an article, I put an extract in the FDS Discord chat, where it was basically saying, it was basically saying how William basically only went back to Kate because he got turned down by so many other women in his circle.
00:15:53
Speaker
So,
00:15:54
Speaker
I'm looking at pictures of young pricked Charles and I get it.
00:15:57
Speaker
Yeah, he's kind of goofy looking.
00:16:00
Speaker
You know, like that redheaded guy that has the goofy face that used to be on the front cover of Mad Magazine?
00:16:06
Speaker
Yeah, he has that like cartoonishly bad face.
00:16:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah, he's got a cartoonishly ugly face.
00:16:13
Speaker
But it's also the reason why, especially guys like William and Charles will get turned down, is that becoming, I guess, Princess of Wales and eventually Queen Consort, it brings an amount of scrutiny that not everyone can handle.
00:16:27
Speaker
So our press is very different to the American press.
00:16:30
Speaker
The American press will only really give a shit if you put yourself out there and you're in certain cities.
00:16:35
Speaker
But the British press is relentless.
00:16:38
Speaker
That's actually why one of Harry's ex-girlfriend, they dated for a very, very long time.
00:16:43
Speaker
She was called Chelsea Davies.
00:16:44
Speaker
She was a South African.
00:16:45
Speaker
That was why she dumped him because she couldn't handle the scrutiny.
00:16:49
Speaker
And obviously when you become Princess of Wales, there's a long list of things that you just cannot do.
00:16:54
Speaker
And that's off-putting to some women.
00:16:55
Speaker
Like, you can't speak in public.
00:16:57
Speaker
You can't have an opinion.
00:16:58
Speaker
I think Diana, at one point, she couldn't even see her own parents unless they had an appointment because her life was so controlled.
00:17:04
Speaker
It's like a gilded cage.
00:17:06
Speaker
So I completely... On the surface,
Harry & Meghan's Exit
00:17:08
Speaker
it seems like who wouldn't want to be a princess and marry a prince?
00:17:10
Speaker
But it's not all it, like, cut out to be.
00:17:13
Speaker
Yeah, because young Prince William was at least handsome.
00:17:16
Speaker
Not old Prince William, though.
00:17:17
Speaker
Well, yeah, now he's like a balding scrotal sack, but...
00:17:22
Speaker
It's almost like Diana's jeans like left the chat like in 2010.
00:17:25
Speaker
Honestly, that's exactly what happened.
00:17:30
Speaker
Because like he's looking at him when he's young and it's like, oh, he's a very handsome man.
00:17:33
Speaker
He looks like his mother.
00:17:34
Speaker
Diana.
00:17:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:36
Speaker
And then now he looks like Charles.
00:17:38
Speaker
I find it hard to believe that King Charles was ever a playboy though.
00:17:41
Speaker
Like there's that one clip of him frolicking with girls on the beach, but I'm like, Oh, there is.
00:17:47
Speaker
Oh, there is.
00:17:48
Speaker
I mean, he would have like got like women easily, but it's one thing to have like a mistress, but it's another thing to find a woman that you want to marry.
00:17:57
Speaker
To find wife material or a woman who wants to be your wife.
00:17:59
Speaker
If you're going to be a shitty King.
00:18:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:02
Speaker
Yeah, so back to Diana's story.
00:18:04
Speaker
So Charles actually started dating her older sister, Sarah, but that relationship ended because I think Sarah like blabbed to the press about it.
00:18:14
Speaker
So that ended.
00:18:14
Speaker
And then it was so weird.
00:18:16
Speaker
Charles met Diana when he was like 29 and she was 16.
00:18:20
Speaker
And he said like, she was a very beautiful, attractive 16 year old.
00:18:24
Speaker
And I was like, oh my God.
00:18:25
Speaker
Don't want to creep.
00:18:27
Speaker
So anyway, they get together.
00:18:28
Speaker
Eventually he starts courting Diana and Diana at the time, who was known as like Lady Diana Spencer, she was seen as a serious prospect because she was attractive.
00:18:36
Speaker
She was a virgin.
00:18:38
Speaker
She didn't have any like baggage, so to speak, that Camilla...
00:18:41
Speaker
She came from a good family, like, monarchy-wise.
00:18:44
Speaker
I mean, people say, like, Diana was just a commoner, but she absolutely wasn't.
00:18:48
Speaker
Like, her brother, who is now the Earl Spencer, his godmother is the queen.
00:18:52
Speaker
Like, their families are very close, and Diana grew up on the Sandringham estate, which is where the royal family liked to spend.
00:18:59
Speaker
It's their estate down in Norfolk.
00:19:00
Speaker
So she was, like, well acquainted with the royal family by the time they got engaged in
00:19:04
Speaker
So yeah, they get engaged and it was actually quite interesting because Diana, then she started having cold feet because obviously when it was announced that she was engaged to Charles, public interest in her just shot up and, you know, designers were wanting to design dresses for her, but that also came with a lot of scrutiny.
00:19:21
Speaker
And at the time she was really, really young as well, you know, so it's quite difficult
Prince Andrew's Scandals
00:19:25
Speaker
to grow from like an anonymous member of the nobility to the future princess of Wales, like overnight.
00:19:30
Speaker
And so she said to her mum, I don't want to go through with this, but her mum basically said, well, they've sent the invites now and basically saying you just have to just deal with it.
00:19:40
Speaker
So Charles and Diana get married.
00:19:43
Speaker
But later on in interviews, Diana actually says that they barely ever had sex, like maybe once every couple of weeks.
00:19:50
Speaker
And she just thinks it was just to have sex just so that Charles could have an heir, basically, not because he loved her, which is quite sad.
00:19:57
Speaker
Ew.
00:19:58
Speaker
That's so rapey.
00:19:59
Speaker
That's like using a woman's body as like an incubator for the future air.
00:20:03
Speaker
It's just so like...
00:20:05
Speaker
It's just so rapey.
00:20:06
Speaker
It's like, oh, like marital duties, you know?
00:20:08
Speaker
Gross.
00:20:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:10
Speaker
And so she literally said he was getting his fix elsewhere.
00:20:13
Speaker
So at some point during their marriage, he restarts his relationship with Camilla.
00:20:18
Speaker
At this time, they're both married.
00:20:19
Speaker
So Camilla's married to Andrew.
00:20:21
Speaker
Charles is obviously married to Diana, so they have an affair.
00:20:24
Speaker
And it results in that disgusting telephone conversation where... Oh!
00:20:30
Speaker
Disgusting!
00:20:33
Speaker
Ro, have you ever heard the tampon story?
00:20:35
Speaker
No, let me read it out.
00:20:37
Speaker
Okay, okay, okay.
00:20:38
Speaker
Have you heard of this, Ro?
00:20:39
Speaker
No.
00:20:40
Speaker
I've only heard the one phrase that keeps being repeated on Twitter, but I haven't heard it.
00:20:44
Speaker
Okay.
00:20:45
Speaker
That was the first time I actually heard of it, was I saw it on Twitter after Queen Elizabeth died.
00:20:49
Speaker
Let me get the transcript.
00:20:51
Speaker
Let me get the transcripts.
00:20:52
Speaker
Let me get the receipts.
00:20:54
Speaker
Let me get the transcripts.
00:20:55
Speaker
Pull up the receipts!
00:20:57
Speaker
So... Okay.
00:20:58
Speaker
Oh my god.
00:21:02
Speaker
I sort of want you guys to read it in your British, because you can do a high class British accent better than I can.
00:21:09
Speaker
Okay, okay, Lilith, you do the British accent.
00:21:11
Speaker
Wait, me?
00:21:12
Speaker
You want me to read it?
00:21:13
Speaker
Okay, okay, I'll drop it in the chat, and one of you can be Charles, the other can be Camilla, because you guys do like... In our fake British accents?
00:21:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:21
Speaker
Yeah, you guys do the high society one better than I can.
00:21:24
Speaker
So just scroll down and you'll find the transcript.
00:21:27
Speaker
Wait, I want to be Charles.
00:21:28
Speaker
I want to be Charles.
00:21:29
Speaker
And Ro, can you be Camilla?
00:21:31
Speaker
Okay, I'll be Camilla.
00:21:33
Speaker
Okay, okay.
00:21:34
Speaker
This call was disgusting, but we're going to recite it for your pleasure.
00:21:38
Speaker
So you can see how His Majesty King Charles III, how he talks dirty.
00:21:44
Speaker
Okay, it's called, I think, Camillagate the Manuscript.
00:21:47
Speaker
All the way at the bottom.
00:21:48
Speaker
Take it away, ladies.
00:21:51
Speaker
So wait, start to the charts.
00:21:52
Speaker
Anyway, you know, that's the sort of thing that one has to be aware of.
00:21:56
Speaker
And sort of feel one's way along with, if you know what I mean.
00:22:03
Speaker
You're awfully good feeling your way along.
00:22:06
Speaker
Stop.
00:22:07
Speaker
I want to feel my way along you, all over you, and up and down you, and in and out.
00:22:12
Speaker
Ew.
00:22:13
Speaker
Particularly in and out.
00:22:15
Speaker
Ew, that's just what I need at the moment.
00:22:18
Speaker
Is it?
00:22:19
Speaker
I know what would remind me.
00:22:20
Speaker
I can't bear Sunday night without you.
00:22:23
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:22:25
Speaker
It's like that program, Start the Week.
00:22:27
Speaker
I can't start the week without you.
00:22:29
Speaker
LAUGHTER
00:22:31
Speaker
I can't read it.
00:22:32
Speaker
I fill up your tank.
00:22:34
Speaker
Yes, you do.
00:22:35
Speaker
Yes.
00:22:37
Speaker
Then you can cope.
00:22:38
Speaker
Then I'm alright.
00:22:40
Speaker
What about me?
00:22:41
Speaker
The trouble is, I need you several times a week.
00:22:44
Speaker
Mmm, so do I. I need you all the week.
00:22:48
Speaker
All the time.
00:22:50
Speaker
Oh god.
00:22:51
Speaker
Oh god.
00:22:51
Speaker
This is like with high school when you were like theater kids.
00:22:57
Speaker
This feels like... Okay, okay.
00:23:00
Speaker
I'll back in character.
00:23:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:23:01
Speaker
Oh god, I'll just live inside your trousers or something.
00:23:04
Speaker
It would be much easier.
00:23:07
Speaker
What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers?
00:23:10
Speaker
Or, god forbid, a Tampax.
00:23:13
Speaker
Just my luck.
00:23:14
Speaker
You are a complete idiot.
00:23:16
Speaker
Oh, what a wonderful idea.
00:23:19
Speaker
My luck to be chucked down the lavatory to go on and on forever, swirling around on the top, never going down.
00:23:28
Speaker
Oh, darling.
00:23:29
Speaker
Until the next one comes through.
00:23:31
Speaker
Or perhaps you could come back as a box.
00:23:34
Speaker
What sort of box?
00:23:35
Speaker
A box of Tampax, so you could just keep going.
00:23:38
Speaker
That's true.
00:23:41
Speaker
repeating yourself oh darling i just want you now do you so do i okay so and scene
00:23:53
Speaker
Did I?
00:23:53
Speaker
That's a good impersonation.
00:23:55
Speaker
Honestly, you sounded like Charles.
00:23:58
Speaker
So that is our king of England saying that he wants to be... Swirling around in the toilet....a woman's tampax.
00:24:07
Speaker
I don't think he understands how tampons work, to be honest.
00:24:10
Speaker
You don't throw them in the toilet.
00:24:12
Speaker
Wait, no, there's way more.
00:24:14
Speaker
I'm like reading ahead.
00:24:15
Speaker
Oh my God, can we finish this manuscript?
00:24:18
Speaker
Because it's like now I'm invested.
00:24:20
Speaker
Okay.
00:24:21
Speaker
Open scene.
00:24:22
Speaker
Okay.
00:24:23
Speaker
Night, darling.
00:24:24
Speaker
I love you.
00:24:26
Speaker
I love you too.
00:24:27
Speaker
I don't want to say goodbye.
00:24:28
Speaker
Well done for doing that.
00:24:30
Speaker
You're a clever old thing.
00:24:32
Speaker
An awfully good brain lurking there, isn't there?
00:24:35
Speaker
Oh, darling, I think you ought to give the brain a rest now.
00:24:38
Speaker
Night, night.
00:24:40
Speaker
Night, darling.
00:24:40
Speaker
God bless.
00:24:41
Speaker
I do love you, and I'm so proud of you.
00:24:44
Speaker
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
00:24:46
Speaker
Don't be silly.
00:24:47
Speaker
I've never achieved anything.
00:24:49
Speaker
Your greatest achievement is to love me.
00:24:52
Speaker
Oh, darling.
00:24:52
Speaker
Easier than falling off a chair.
00:24:56
Speaker
You suffer all these indignities and tortures and calamities.
00:24:59
Speaker
Oh, darling, don't be so silly.
00:25:01
Speaker
I'd suffer anything for you.
00:25:03
Speaker
That's love.
00:25:04
Speaker
It's the strength of love.
00:25:05
Speaker
Night, night.
00:25:07
Speaker
Night, darling.
00:25:08
Speaker
Sounds as if you're dragging an enormous piece of string behind you with hundreds of tin pots and cans attached to it.
00:25:15
Speaker
What?
00:25:17
Speaker
Night, what?
00:25:19
Speaker
I thought this was a dare.
00:25:21
Speaker
Sounds as if you're dragging an enormous piece of string behind you with hundreds of tin pots and cans attached to it.
00:25:29
Speaker
Night, night.
00:25:29
Speaker
Before the battery goes down.
00:25:31
Speaker
Blow's kiss.
00:25:32
Speaker
Night.
00:25:33
Speaker
Is this some kind of reference we're missing?
00:25:35
Speaker
The tin cans?
00:25:36
Speaker
I'm so confused.
00:25:37
Speaker
I don't know what the fuck he's on about.
00:25:38
Speaker
And then the next column is just like, I love you.
00:25:41
Speaker
I don't want to say goodbye.
00:25:42
Speaker
Love you, bye.
00:25:43
Speaker
Love you, bye.
00:25:44
Speaker
Night, night.
00:25:44
Speaker
Love you forever, night.
00:25:45
Speaker
Bye, darling.
00:25:46
Speaker
Night.
00:25:47
Speaker
Let's do a speedrun.
00:25:48
Speaker
Let's do a speedrun.
00:25:49
Speaker
Love you.
00:25:51
Speaker
Don't want to say goodbye.
00:25:52
Speaker
Neither do I, but you must get some sleep.
00:25:54
Speaker
Bye.
00:25:55
Speaker
Bye, darling.
00:25:55
Speaker
Love you.
00:25:56
Speaker
Bye.
00:25:57
Speaker
Hopefully talk to you in the morning.
00:25:59
Speaker
Please.
00:25:59
Speaker
Bye, I do love you.
00:26:01
Speaker
Night.
00:26:01
Speaker
Night.
00:26:02
Speaker
Night.
00:26:03
Speaker
Love you forever.
00:26:07
Speaker
Night.
00:26:07
Speaker
Goodbye, my darling.
00:26:09
Speaker
Night.
00:26:10
Speaker
Night, night.
00:26:11
Speaker
Night.
00:26:12
Speaker
Bye, bye.
00:26:13
Speaker
Going.
00:26:14
Speaker
Gone.
00:26:14
Speaker
Going.
00:26:15
Speaker
Gone.
00:26:16
Speaker
Night.
00:26:17
Speaker
Bye, press the button.
00:26:18
Speaker
Going to press the tit.
00:26:20
Speaker
Bye.
00:26:21
Speaker
All right, darling, I wish you were pressing mine.
00:26:27
Speaker
God, I wish I was harder and harder.
00:26:29
Speaker
Oh, darling.
00:26:31
Speaker
Night.
00:26:31
Speaker
Night.
00:26:33
Speaker
Love you.
00:26:33
Speaker
It's insane.
00:26:36
Speaker
Round of applause.
00:26:42
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, that was a reenaction of the telephone conversation between His Majesty the King Charles III and Queen Consort Camilla.
00:26:57
Speaker
That's actually one of my greatest FDS podcast moments.
00:27:02
Speaker
I was doing a script read with Ro.
00:27:04
Speaker
Lilith the podcaster and her acting debut.
00:27:08
Speaker
As King Edward III.
00:27:10
Speaker
Why did I say King Edward?
00:27:11
Speaker
As King Charles III.
00:27:12
Speaker
I've never heard the audio of that.
00:27:14
Speaker
Is there an audio?
00:27:15
Speaker
Or is it only the written manuscript?
00:27:17
Speaker
I think it's just a transcript because somebody recorded it surreptitiously and leaked it to the press.
00:27:22
Speaker
And then the fallout was bad.
00:27:25
Speaker
Like, bad.
00:27:26
Speaker
You know, let's not forget Diana also had affairs during the marriage as well.
00:27:30
Speaker
Queen, good for her.
00:27:31
Speaker
She deserved it.
00:27:33
Speaker
Yeah, it's totally different.
00:27:34
Speaker
She earned the right to have those affairs.
00:27:36
Speaker
Charles did not.
00:27:37
Speaker
I mean, I genuinely, but it was really sad for Diana because she went, allegedly, she went to the Queen really upset because Charles didn't even bother to hide the fact that he was cheating on her.
00:27:47
Speaker
And when she went to the Queen and Philip and said, look, this is what's happening.
00:27:51
Speaker
The Queen was basically sort of like, what do you want me to do about it?
00:27:53
Speaker
And Charles had the attitude of, well, you know, the Prince of Wales has always had a mistress.
00:27:58
Speaker
So why can't I have one?
00:27:59
Speaker
It's so weird how history works.
00:28:01
Speaker
Didn't Prince Philip cheat on the Queen?
00:28:03
Speaker
Also a scrote.
00:28:04
Speaker
He probably did.
00:28:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:06
Speaker
Charles is like great, great grandfather.
00:28:08
Speaker
I think it was Edward VII.
00:28:09
Speaker
He had a mistress called Alice Keppel, who was Camilla's great, great grandmother.
00:28:14
Speaker
So their great grandparents shagged.
00:28:16
Speaker
It's so weird how history plays out.
00:28:18
Speaker
So yeah, basically Diana was basically told to pop and shop.
00:28:21
Speaker
So then she went to have affairs of her own.
00:28:23
Speaker
She became very bulimic because Charles made like an offhanded comment.
00:28:27
Speaker
I'm not sure if he was joking, but he basically grabbed her waist before the wedding, bearing in mind she was already very small.
00:28:34
Speaker
And he basically said, oh, you, like basically saying that she was fat or insinuating that she was fat.
00:28:40
Speaker
What a fucking piece of shit.
00:28:42
Speaker
But yeah, you know, so she lost a substantial amount of weight, like for her wedding.
00:28:46
Speaker
I think the dressmaker said they had to resize it quite substantially because she lost that much weight.
00:28:52
Speaker
And over the years in their marriage, you start to see the cracks appearing in part because I think the royal family just didn't expect Diana to be as popular as she was.
00:29:02
Speaker
And she very quickly overshadowed Charles.
00:29:05
Speaker
Which honestly isn't hard, right?
00:29:07
Speaker
He's just like goofy looking and entitled.
00:29:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:10
Speaker
Yeah, he's a wet sap.
00:29:12
Speaker
Like, he's a wet sap.
00:29:13
Speaker
Like, obviously, she's going to overshadow him.
00:29:15
Speaker
She's beautiful and amazing and charismatic and smart.
00:29:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:19
Speaker
You know, she was young and she was really charismatic.
00:29:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:22
Speaker
So, like, when they were going out to a place, it was really peak.
00:29:24
Speaker
So, like, normally, like, if they were going to, like, a walkabout, they call it, where they have crowds on either side, Charles would go to one side, Diana would go to the other and just greet the people.
00:29:32
Speaker
But the people on Charles' side were like, where's Diana?
00:29:35
Speaker
So they weren't interested in him.
00:29:36
Speaker
Ah!
00:29:38
Speaker
Imagine being the literal future king, like the son of the queen of England and like, or the queen of like 30 countries and no one wants to see you and everyone wants to see your wife.
00:29:47
Speaker
Like, yeah.
00:29:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:50
Speaker
And a similar thing happened when Meghan Markle first came to the UK.
00:29:53
Speaker
So she was doing a walkabout with the Queen.
00:29:56
Speaker
And then somebody said to Queen Elizabeth, oh, can you give these flowers to Meghan?
00:30:00
Speaker
I was like, no.
00:30:04
Speaker
And then Elizabeth obviously was like, she just awkwardly like gestured to an aide.
00:30:09
Speaker
But can you imagine like saying, can you give these flowers to somebody like so much, I guess, like so much more junior than her.
00:30:15
Speaker
But after that, Meghan Markle was marked.
00:30:17
Speaker
But anyway, we'll come to that later.
00:30:19
Speaker
Yeah, she had a target on her back after that.
00:30:21
Speaker
She was... I just say that.
00:30:24
Speaker
So anyway, it all completely blows up in the early 90s and Charles and Diana both very publicly admit their affairs and they basically... The Queen and Prince Philip advised them to divorce, basically.
00:30:36
Speaker
I think Philip and the Queen tried to mediate between them, but it turns out Philip was quite a shit marriage counsellor.
00:30:42
Speaker
Word!
00:30:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:45
Speaker
And so they just go their separate ways.
00:30:46
Speaker
And then Diana does that tell all interview with Martin Bashir, which by the way, he conned her into doing it, which was really shitty of him.
00:30:54
Speaker
He basically lied to her and told her that they were planning to kill her or something.
00:30:58
Speaker
That's the only reason why she did it.
00:31:00
Speaker
So he basically like conned her into it, but she basically lifts the lid on the Royal family and just exposes all of them in that interview.
00:31:08
Speaker
And I would definitely recommend watch because I watched that interview a few months ago and I wasn't really, I didn't know much about Diana because she passed away before I was born.
00:31:15
Speaker
But the way she carries herself, the way she speaks, I mean, she's absolutely mesmerizing.
00:31:20
Speaker
Like I was just transfixed to what she was saying the whole time.
00:31:24
Speaker
And the way she was talking about something that was quite, was obviously deeply traumatic, like her marriage broke down publicly and she wanted it to work because her parents had been divorced.
00:31:34
Speaker
you know, she really, really wanted that husband and, you know, two and a half kids in a white picket fence life.
00:31:39
Speaker
And I just feel so sad that the royal family basically robbed her of having that.
00:31:44
Speaker
And obviously Diana passes away in 1997 and that was a shock for the nation.
00:31:49
Speaker
I would even say that the grief from that, or my dad would say, because he was actually, I don't remember it, but even he said like the grief for that was 10 times bigger than what, than the grief we're seeing for Elizabeth.
00:32:01
Speaker
Like the flowers actually,
00:32:02
Speaker
At Kensington, they were five feet deep.
00:32:04
Speaker
So if you imagine somebody's five foot tall, it was as tall as them.
00:32:08
Speaker
Like the country like literally came to a standstill.
00:32:12
Speaker
And then their royal family and the queen was quite publicly accused of not giving a shit because they didn't make a statement for a long time.
00:32:20
Speaker
And people were saying like, why aren't you saying anything?
00:32:23
Speaker
Maybe that's why they're doing the enforced mourning thing.
00:32:26
Speaker
Like, maybe that's why Charles... This is Charles still being a scrote.
00:32:30
Speaker
Like, he doesn't want, like, the royal family to get upstaged by Diana.
00:32:33
Speaker
That's why he's doing the whole bank holiday thing.
00:32:36
Speaker
Because he wants, like, the queen's mourning to be bigger than Diana's.
00:32:40
Speaker
Uh...
00:32:41
Speaker
I mean, to be fair, it would have always been bigger than Diana's because, I mean, the Queen's, like, death was planned ever since she came to the throne.
00:32:48
Speaker
So if she died in 1960, it probably would have been the same thing, to be fair.
00:32:53
Speaker
No, but, like, the genuine sadness.
00:32:55
Speaker
Like, if I'm being honest, like, no one's, like, genuinely sad.
00:32:58
Speaker
I mean... She was 96!
00:32:59
Speaker
Because, yeah, because she's older.
00:33:01
Speaker
I think that's why.
00:33:02
Speaker
Princess Diana, it's like, she's so young and... We had time to cope and adjust.
00:33:07
Speaker
Well, not we, because I don't care.
00:33:08
Speaker
But, I mean, y'all...
00:33:12
Speaker
Yeah, Princess Diana was literally a shock.
00:33:14
Speaker
And it was rumoured that she was going to marry again, possibly to a man of colour.
00:33:19
Speaker
And then it might have just made things a bit awkward and weird.
00:33:23
Speaker
But also what was quite sad as well was that they stripped her of her style.
00:33:27
Speaker
So she couldn't call herself HRH anymore, which I thought was wrong because she would have been the mother of William, who's a future king.
00:33:36
Speaker
You can't really say she's not like HRH.
00:33:39
Speaker
But I think the royal family did that sort of out of spite.
00:33:42
Speaker
And that's why she was known as Diana, Princess of Wales.
00:33:45
Speaker
And Camilla knew that as well, because when Camilla was technically Princess of Wales after she married Charles in 2005, she never used the title.
00:33:53
Speaker
She called herself the Duchess of Cornwall and the royal family refers to her as that because they just know that that title was so strongly associated with Diana.
00:34:02
Speaker
And now it's gone to Kate, but Kate doesn't have obviously the history that Camilla had with Diana and that she was shagging her husband.
00:34:08
Speaker
Now she's shagging her son.
00:34:09
Speaker
Just kidding.
00:34:10
Speaker
Sorry.
00:34:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:11
Speaker
So Diana passes away quite dramatically.
00:34:14
Speaker
And then Charles and Camilla, they start publicly dating again.
00:34:18
Speaker
By this point, Camilla's divorced as well.
00:34:20
Speaker
So they start publicly dating again in around 1999 and get married in 2005.
00:34:26
Speaker
And the palace sort of did a bait and switch with the people.
00:34:28
Speaker
So they initially said like, oh, when Charles becomes king, she'll be princess consort.
00:34:33
Speaker
Obviously, because Camilla's still not very popular here.
00:34:37
Speaker
So they said she'll be princess consort.
00:34:39
Speaker
She'll have a lesser title.
00:34:40
Speaker
And then during this year, during the Queen's Platinum Jubilee, the Queen comes out with a statement saying, it's my dearest wish that she'll be known as Queen Consort.
00:34:48
Speaker
So I was like, you said that at the peak of your popularity.
00:34:51
Speaker
So we wouldn't really notice what you're doing here.
00:34:54
Speaker
But yeah, basically Camilla's now Queen Consort.
00:34:56
Speaker
So the side chick can level up.
00:34:58
Speaker
Honestly, I mean, I'm not mad about the side chick leveling up.
00:35:01
Speaker
Like, you know, I saw some some tweets that were like, oh, yeah, side chick is now the queen.
00:35:06
Speaker
Like, oh, I think it's like it started with Anne Boleyn.
00:35:08
Speaker
OK.
00:35:09
Speaker
And Anne Boleyn was also, you know, got undeserved misogyny.
00:35:13
Speaker
I feel like there.
00:35:13
Speaker
reasons why she was kept out of being his wife was misogyny in the first place.
00:35:17
Speaker
So it's like this entire situation could have been avoided if they would have just let Camilla and Prince, well, now King Charles, get married in the first place.
00:35:26
Speaker
And the entire reason why they couldn't get married, despite them clearly being grossly, grossly obsessed with each other, it was just pure misogyny on the part of the firm saying she wasn't virginal enough.
00:35:38
Speaker
I mean, he stayed with the same side chick.
00:35:40
Speaker
Like, he's outlasted pretty much everybody else.
00:35:42
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:35:44
Speaker
She wasn't a side chick.
00:35:46
Speaker
She was his main... That was his true love.
00:35:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:49
Speaker
Yeah, she was his true love from the beginning, right?
00:35:52
Speaker
And he was made to marry, you know, I guess the royal family, they're still traditional in that way, you know?
00:35:58
Speaker
But also, if you look at their relationship, and I mean, this is just speculation, but people have said that the reason why...
00:36:06
Speaker
Charles preferred Camilla was that she wouldn't challenge him or threaten his authority or as Diana did.
00:36:11
Speaker
Like Diana definitely made like Charles insecure.
00:36:15
Speaker
So for example, there's pictures of them on a postage stamp together and you'll see that Diana is like, she looks shorter than Charles when actually they were the same height.
00:36:24
Speaker
And I think Diana definitely, she would argue back.
00:36:27
Speaker
She stuck up for herself and she showed him up basically.
00:36:31
Speaker
And even if you look in there, in that transcript that was wonderfully narrated by Rowan Lilly, look what he says that her greatest achievement was, is loving him.
00:36:40
Speaker
Even though by this point, he knew that Camilla had two kids.
00:36:44
Speaker
He wouldn't say, but you've had children.
00:36:45
Speaker
He said, your greatest achievement is loving me.
00:36:47
Speaker
That's some narcissistic shit.
00:36:49
Speaker
God.
00:36:50
Speaker
How narcissistic can you get?
00:36:52
Speaker
Like, can you imagine a man saying to you, your greatest achievement is loving me.
00:36:56
Speaker
I'd smack him in the face and never speak to him again.
00:36:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:00
Speaker
So I definitely think like, even though people think it's like a convoluted love story, I definitely feel like Charles has to feel like he's the one with power, authority over his partner.
00:37:11
Speaker
And he gets that with Camilla.
00:37:13
Speaker
He doesn't get that with Diana.
00:37:14
Speaker
I think anyway.
00:37:15
Speaker
Oh, you didn't get that with Diana.
00:37:17
Speaker
So ROP, Princess Diana.
00:37:18
Speaker
I love you.
00:37:19
Speaker
And that's what makes him like the scrotiest scrote ever and deserving of this roast a scrote.
00:37:23
Speaker
No, it's not.
00:37:24
Speaker
It's not even that.
00:37:24
Speaker
That's not even the worst part.
00:37:26
Speaker
Oh, we have only begun to roast.
00:37:29
Speaker
Oh, there's more?
00:37:30
Speaker
We've only just started.
00:37:32
Speaker
So, okay, let's fast forward a few years to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
00:37:36
Speaker
So as we know, Harry is the Duke of Sussex.
00:37:39
Speaker
He's the younger son.
00:37:40
Speaker
He's always been, I feel like he's always been a bit of an outlier within the royal family.
00:37:45
Speaker
So even Diana herself said that the reason why she gave
00:37:50
Speaker
Harry more attention when the boys were growing up, when William and Harry were growing up, was because she knew that one day William would be king and he would be treated as such, or as Harry.
00:37:59
Speaker
They would literally refer to him as despair.
00:38:01
Speaker
It's the same reason why the Queen Mother, so Queen Elizabeth's mum, when she passed away, she left Harry a bigger proportion of the will because she said that William, he'll eventually have the Duchy of Cornwall, which is what he has now, and that will generate a lot of wealth for him.
00:38:17
Speaker
And again, Harry won't get that.
00:38:19
Speaker
So Harry's always been a bit of a wild child.
00:38:21
Speaker
He's been caught smoking weed using racial slurs.
00:38:24
Speaker
Just basically being like a typical lad, basically.
00:38:26
Speaker
And because he's not on track to the throne, he's not really had any sort of, I guess, like path to follow.
00:38:34
Speaker
So...
00:38:34
Speaker
He was in the military, did two outstanding tours in Afghanistan.
00:38:38
Speaker
The soldiers who served with him have got nothing but nice things to say about him.
00:38:43
Speaker
And he founded the Invictus Games.
00:38:45
Speaker
So he's very much been sort of the philanthropist side, almost like his mum.
00:38:49
Speaker
That's why people say he's like his mum.
00:38:51
Speaker
That's like a reformed image of him, right?
00:38:53
Speaker
Because I do remember like the very famous picture of him in a Nazi uniform, which is... Yeah, he was a wild child growing up.
00:38:59
Speaker
He was an edgelord.
00:39:01
Speaker
Especially coming from his family, right?
00:39:04
Speaker
Like, you know what I mean?
00:39:06
Speaker
Oh, yeah, shit.
00:39:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:07
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:39:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:08
Speaker
Think about the fact that, what, 40 million people died in World War II?
00:39:12
Speaker
His great aunt was like a Nazi.
00:39:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:15
Speaker
Yeah, his great aunts were Nazis.
00:39:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:17
Speaker
Yeah, so Philip's sisters, they were Nazis, like, formerly associated with Nazis.
00:39:22
Speaker
It's rumoured that Edward VIII, who abdicated on Wallace, they were heavily associated with the Nazis as well.
00:39:29
Speaker
It's rumoured that Wallace was sleeping with a couple of them, but who knows.
00:39:31
Speaker
But yeah.
00:39:32
Speaker
Also, Edward VIII was a dirty racist as well, so I'm kind of glad that he wasn't near the throne, but that's just an aside.
00:39:37
Speaker
I used to feel sorry for him until I found out he was racist.
00:39:40
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, fuck him.
00:39:41
Speaker
It just feels odd for me for a British monarch to be a Nazi supporter.
00:39:45
Speaker
I mean, they're German, right?
00:39:47
Speaker
Like, isn't the British, like, 150, 200 years ago, they were German?
00:39:51
Speaker
Like, yeah.
00:39:52
Speaker
This is all news to me.
00:39:56
Speaker
So Philip, Prince Philip, he was actually a Greek prince.
00:39:59
Speaker
So he was born in Greece.
00:40:01
Speaker
His mum is Greek and his sisters married Germans and his extended family are like German and Russian.
00:40:07
Speaker
That's also part of the reason why King George didn't, they were skeptical about Philip because firstly, he wasn't British.
00:40:14
Speaker
Secondly, he had no fucking money.
00:40:15
Speaker
Like he was broke.
00:40:16
Speaker
Like he was like living, he was basically like a ward of the state.
00:40:19
Speaker
Like he was a charity case.
00:40:20
Speaker
So he was passed around extended like relatives,
00:40:24
Speaker
Like the Greeks had a revolution, so their monarchy wasn't like in power.
00:40:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:30
Speaker
And also his other, the other side of his family.
00:40:32
Speaker
So the German, you know, Germany had a revolution.
00:40:35
Speaker
Russia had a revolution.
00:40:37
Speaker
So basically all of his extended family and his immediate family were toppled from their thrones, basically.
00:40:42
Speaker
So he approached Elizabeth with absolutely no money, which is why I just can't imagine the audacity that she elevated him to something like meaningful and he still cheated on her.
00:40:53
Speaker
But that's an aside.
00:40:53
Speaker
Mm-mm.
00:40:53
Speaker
Mm-mm.
00:40:56
Speaker
you cheat on the queen of fucking england when you don't even have a penny to your name but typical male audacity knows no ends honestly like that's why these men who get raised up by their women like they'll never show any gratitude for that they'll just like resent her for it because of the fact that they rely on her for his status right
00:41:15
Speaker
And also that's what Philip did.
00:41:17
Speaker
That's the reason why males in the family are known as Mountbatten Windsor, because originally they would have all had Elizabeth's last name, which is Windsor.
00:41:25
Speaker
But then Philip complained and says, I'm the only man in England who can't pass his name down to his kids.
00:41:30
Speaker
So to appease him, they made it double barrel.
00:41:33
Speaker
So for example, like the children of Harry and Meghan are Mountbatten Windsor is their surname.
00:41:39
Speaker
But it's just like she gave you a title when like you're like one of the most senior people and that's not enough for you.
00:41:44
Speaker
Like you still want to give your kids your last name, even though you didn't pass down the title or anything like worth having to them.
00:41:50
Speaker
But that's just me anyway.
00:41:51
Speaker
Yeah, the scrottery is hereditary, I think, in this family.
00:41:57
Speaker
It's just the entitlement.
00:41:59
Speaker
Hereditary scrotery.
00:42:00
Speaker
It's just the entitlement.
00:42:01
Speaker
Like, I must pass down my legacy, even though my wife's legacy is greater than I can ever possibly imagine.
00:42:08
Speaker
Yeah, what legacy?
00:42:09
Speaker
He's a broke Greek evicted prince.
00:42:11
Speaker
What legacy?
00:42:12
Speaker
What legacy?
00:42:13
Speaker
Right?
00:42:14
Speaker
His last name?
00:42:15
Speaker
Really?
00:42:16
Speaker
Mountbatten?
00:42:17
Speaker
Okay.
00:42:17
Speaker
Like, anyways.
00:42:19
Speaker
And it wasn't even his actual original last name.
00:42:21
Speaker
It was previously Battenberg, but they changed it to sound more English.
00:42:24
Speaker
But anyway, that's a massive aside.
00:42:26
Speaker
I could talk about those all day.
00:42:27
Speaker
But anyway, so Harry and Meghan.
00:42:28
Speaker
So as we all know, Harry and Meghan get married.
00:42:32
Speaker
Meghan Markle is almost seen, she's not seen on the same level as Diana, but she's seen as a positive addition to the quite closed rules.
00:42:40
Speaker
So she was very outspoken.
00:42:42
Speaker
She called herself a feminist.
00:42:44
Speaker
She had a career before she married into the Rupert.
00:42:47
Speaker
She closed her own doors.
00:42:51
Speaker
Yeah, she closed her own doors.
00:42:53
Speaker
And she was American.
00:42:54
Speaker
She wore dresses without pantyhose.
00:42:57
Speaker
She was just too progressive.
00:42:59
Speaker
But yeah, and she was biracial, obviously.
00:43:02
Speaker
She was divorced, which was a huge, I guess, a huge step in the modernization of the royal family, so to speak.
00:43:08
Speaker
But then, like, Meghan begins to get really, really, like, terrible press to the point where, you know, the newspapers would say things like, straight out of Compton because she's from California, but it's like, she's not from Compton.
00:43:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:23
Speaker
because she's biracial and from California.
00:43:25
Speaker
It's so racist.
00:43:27
Speaker
But then the press would deny and say there was ever a racial element.
00:43:29
Speaker
But then you said straight out of Compton, like who lives in Compton, mainly impoverished African-Americans.
00:43:36
Speaker
And then it got to a point where if say, you know, Megan did something, say like eat avocados, the headline would be like, oh, you know, Megan's favorite food linked to murder in the Amazon.
00:43:47
Speaker
Whereas if Kate did it, then honestly, that would be a real like headline.
00:43:52
Speaker
But then if Kate did it, it would be seen as, oh.
00:43:54
Speaker
Kate eats healthy fats or something.
00:43:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:57
Speaker
Eats healthy foods.
00:43:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:58
Speaker
So like Megan was criticized for touching her baby bump when she was pregnant.
00:44:02
Speaker
Because apparently that's a sign that she's a narcissist.
00:44:05
Speaker
But when Kate did it, it was all like maternal instinct, yada, yada, yada.
00:44:08
Speaker
And also, again, I sort of feel like this is where William's start, the scrutinous starts to emerge.
00:44:13
Speaker
So this is allegedly around the same time Harry and Meghan are having issues with the press, was supposedly around the same time William starts stepping out with one of Kate's best friends and has an affair with her.
00:44:27
Speaker
And it's quite telling because in a joint public appearance with William and Kate, William tries to touch Kate, but she literally recoils from him, like, don't touch me sort of thing.
00:44:36
Speaker
I feel so bad for her, honestly.
00:44:38
Speaker
I mean, I do as well.
00:44:39
Speaker
And, you know, jumping back to what we said earlier in the episode.
00:44:42
Speaker
So basically the whole, you know, William meeting Kate, it wasn't the most organic thing.
00:44:47
Speaker
So I think her mother connived to make sure that Kate was in the same year as William at St.
00:44:55
Speaker
Andrews so that she could...
00:44:57
Speaker
potentially marry a prince and they had a long relationship beforehand he dumped her in quite a brutal way in 2007 so he literally did it over the phone after they'd been dating for like six years so she was like a forever girlfriend for a while there yeah and then he got back with her basically after he realized in a social circle no one else wanted him and then they get engaged shortly after that and then go on to have three children you know the rest
00:45:20
Speaker
But I think it was supposedly that Meghan was getting was supposedly meant to be a distraction for the story about William stepping out on Kate.
00:45:30
Speaker
But I also think as well that William and Kate and the royals generally, they felt somehow that again, like Meghan and Harry were just way more popular than William and Kate, who were the future crown prince and princesses.
00:45:42
Speaker
Yeah, because you got Americans to care, right?
00:45:44
Speaker
Because we didn't care.
00:45:45
Speaker
And then suddenly we're all monarch experts because someone from our team, yeah, like went over and married someone in the British monarchy.
00:45:53
Speaker
And didn't get kicked out this time.
00:45:55
Speaker
Yeah, and she's biracial.
00:45:58
Speaker
So then like now you have all the Black Americans who like want to rally around her.
00:46:01
Speaker
And she had a very like their wedding.
00:46:03
Speaker
She had like a Black preacher.
00:46:04
Speaker
It had like a lot of like specifically African-American cultural elements there and like cultural icons like Oprah, Serena Williams, etc.
00:46:11
Speaker
So like
00:46:12
Speaker
Now it's personal.
00:46:13
Speaker
Now it's gang over here, right?
00:46:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:17
Speaker
Now they've got Black Twitter on her side.
00:46:18
Speaker
They're unstoppable.
00:46:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:22
Speaker
She's got the biggest army.
00:46:24
Speaker
Like Khaleesi.
00:46:26
Speaker
And it was so funny, at the wedding as well, they had this Black preacher and he was preaching about slavery and colonialism.
00:46:32
Speaker
And I felt like... I know!
00:46:35
Speaker
I watched it!
00:46:37
Speaker
I felt like, do you know who you're talking to?
00:46:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:40
Speaker
i was dying because i know he took no he knows who he's talking to that's the thing that's like this is the most american shit ever like go to another country just so don't give a shit not give a shit and like talk shit to their face during their wedding because that like on a smaller scale that's what a lot of american weddings are like period so like to see that happen to the british monarchy let me take this opportunity to talk my shit like
00:47:08
Speaker
Yeah, that's so American.
00:47:10
Speaker
And you can literally see like Zara Phillips, who's the Queen's granddaughter, just looking around.
00:47:14
Speaker
Like, I think she's trying not to laugh.
00:47:16
Speaker
Maybe because it's just the irony of just like ranting against colonialism while she was sat there.
00:47:21
Speaker
But also like...
00:47:22
Speaker
Like, Meghan's popularity was palpable here.
00:47:24
Speaker
Like I said, the example of where somebody said to Queen Elizabeth, like the Queen, oh, just can you give these flowers to Meghan?
00:47:31
Speaker
Like, and then in like one of Meghan's final public appearances in the UK before they left to go to California, she did get a surprise appearance at a school and they interviewed the school children afterwards.
00:47:43
Speaker
And they were like, oh, when I saw the black car come up, I was a bit disappointed because I thought it'd be Kate, but it was Meghan.
00:47:52
Speaker
Children have no chill, but I don't think they meant it as a sight, but yeah.
00:47:55
Speaker
But they were disappointed it wasn't Kate instead, it was Meghan Markle instead.
00:47:59
Speaker
No, no, they were disappointed because they thought it was Kate at first, but then they were happy that it was Meghan.
00:48:04
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:48:05
Speaker
So they were happy it was Meghan, but they were like... Yeah, but they were like, when I saw the cast, oh no, it's Kate.
00:48:10
Speaker
But then...
00:48:12
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:48:13
Speaker
I was so confused.
00:48:14
Speaker
I thought you were saying that they were happy.
00:48:16
Speaker
They wanted Kate.
00:48:17
Speaker
And then when Meghan Markle showed up, it was disappointed.
00:48:19
Speaker
But instead, they saw Kate show up and they're like, ah, like, and then it ended up being Meghan Markle.
00:48:24
Speaker
And then they were happy about that.
00:48:26
Speaker
Okay, yeah.
00:48:29
Speaker
eventually they do a Megxit for some reason everyone seems to think that this whole like Megxit thing was all Megan's idea and I don't believe it is I think like Harry has wanted out for a very long time and I think Megan was just his excuse to do it so they leave and go to California and then in their Oprah interview Harry basically says that Charles has just stopped speaking to him
00:48:51
Speaker
And he stopped taking his calls as well because initially they were funded from the Duchy of Cornwall, which is at the time, because Charles was the Duke of Cornwall, that was basically his moneymaker.
00:49:02
Speaker
Now the Duchy of Cornwall is worth like 20 million pounds a year.
00:49:05
Speaker
This was a fucking private estate set up by like one of the King Edwards like 700 years ago or like 800 years ago as like a private estate to make
00:49:15
Speaker
income for his like eldest son or for the you know the heir to the throne kind of thing which i guess like was at the time an important thing so that like it's to improve the king's chances of like his son you know having more money actually living to the age of 10 actually like living you know surviving you know if there was ever like a dispute because back then like the inheritance you know there's a lot of like conflicts over like paternity
00:49:42
Speaker
you know, the king's brother, well, paternity, but also like the king's brother might want to like steal the throne or whatever, like and usurp him or whatever.
00:49:49
Speaker
Basically is like to give his son like a sort of insurance against potential usurpers.
00:49:53
Speaker
Right.
00:49:53
Speaker
And now it's just like something that the eldest son of the king or queen just makes a fuck ton of money from.
00:50:00
Speaker
Right.
00:50:00
Speaker
Like, yeah, like 20 million.
00:50:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:02
Speaker
They're literally at least 20 million a year.
00:50:04
Speaker
So like William is now a very, very rich man.
00:50:07
Speaker
And I hate that.
00:50:09
Speaker
Yeah, so anyway, eventually they were basically cut off.
00:50:13
Speaker
So Harry's basically been living off the inheritance he got from the Queen Mother and Princess Diana.
00:50:19
Speaker
They've obviously been trying different business ventures, podcasts and documentaries and stuff like that, just to try and make a living.
00:50:27
Speaker
Meanwhile, back over the pond, it comes out that Andrew is a sweaty nonce, most likely.
00:50:31
Speaker
And I sort of feel like some feminists have quite selective memories because even though, obviously, you know, Queen Elizabeth seemed like a formidable woman, but let's not forget that just a few months ago, she used taxpayers' money to silence Virginia Roberts as well.
00:50:46
Speaker
Taxpayers' money to bail out sweaty nonce Andrew.
00:50:49
Speaker
Yeah, accusing him of molesting her when she was underage and was trafficked by Jeffrey Epstein.
00:50:55
Speaker
So that family.
00:50:56
Speaker
Yeah, so that sort of pissed everyone off for a while because it was like £10 million.
00:51:01
Speaker
And after that disastrous interview with Emily Maitlis, who is a journalist, where that Prince Andrew did, he's basically, the backlash was so severe that he basically was stripped of his titles, his patronages, and basically just withdrew from public life.
00:51:19
Speaker
Like, well, he didn't retire.
00:51:21
Speaker
He was just basically taken out of circulation.
00:51:24
Speaker
So I was very surprised to learn that when King Charles III came to the throne, that Andrew is now back in the public eye because it's like, no one wants him there.
00:51:35
Speaker
And if you think Charles is a scrote, Andrew is a bigger scrote than Charles.
00:51:39
Speaker
Obviously, you know, child molestation aside, but his servants would say he would be an absolute prick to them.
00:51:46
Speaker
So he would literally like, when he sees them, he would just tell them to fuck off, like for no reason.
00:51:51
Speaker
He was very adamant that his daughters, Beatrice and Eugenie, that they would get 24-7 security, to which Charles said, no fucking way.
00:52:01
Speaker
And he seems quite entitled.
00:52:03
Speaker
So, like, recently he damaged a gate, I think it was at Windsor.
00:52:07
Speaker
He just drove through it because he couldn't wait for it to open.
00:52:09
Speaker
Like, so he seems very entitled.
00:52:11
Speaker
And it was rumoured that Andrew was the Queen's favourite son when she was alive as well, which would sort of make sense.
00:52:18
Speaker
Really?
00:52:19
Speaker
Ew.
00:52:20
Speaker
But, yeah.
00:52:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:22
Speaker
Okay, that makes me like her a little bit less now.
00:52:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:27
Speaker
It's just unfortunate all her sons are scrotes, to be honest.
00:52:30
Speaker
I can't really think of it.
00:52:31
Speaker
I mean, Edward was like berated by Prince Philip because he dropped out of military training after two weeks.
00:52:38
Speaker
And so Philip went round there and just basically called him a waste of space to the point where he started crying.
00:52:44
Speaker
Nice.
00:52:48
Speaker
My thirst for male blood can be satisfied with male tears.
00:52:51
Speaker
It is an appropriate substitute.
00:52:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:55
Speaker
I mean, because obviously Philip served in the Navy.
00:52:57
Speaker
I think he was a naval officer as well.
00:52:59
Speaker
So Edward wasn't really doing anything with his life.
00:53:01
Speaker
So he thought, okay, I'll join the military and then didn't even last the basic training.
00:53:06
Speaker
So Prince Philip went round there and just gave him like a bollocking to the point where Edward allegedly cried.
00:53:13
Speaker
Why are all of his sons, like Princess Anne, like Anne Princess Royal I guess, she's got a thick skin but why are all of their sons so weak-willed?
00:53:22
Speaker
I think it's just men, I just think it's just men, that's why.
00:53:26
Speaker
They're just men, like they're just weak mentally, spiritually, emotionally.
00:53:32
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I mean, Princess Anne seems to be the least problematic sibling.
00:53:36
Speaker
She had a divorce in the late 80s, early 90s, but she got remarried.
00:53:41
Speaker
She's had two kids who seem to be doing well, and she just gets on with her role.
00:53:45
Speaker
Like, you don't really see her doing a madness like her brothers.
00:53:50
Speaker
Yeah, she just does her job as a royal and then, you know, does her Olympic dressage stuff.
00:53:56
Speaker
You know, she's got a career, I guess.
00:53:58
Speaker
She's actually quite good at that.
00:53:59
Speaker
Yeah, she was quite good at that.
00:54:00
Speaker
She went to the, I think she went to the Olympics at one point, or maybe that was Zara went to the Olympics, her daughter.
00:54:04
Speaker
So yeah, that was a long ramble about the state of the royals.
00:54:07
Speaker
At the moment, it seems like William and Harry are not on speaking terms at all.
00:54:12
Speaker
William, like Harry, was disinvited to a state dinner that all the world leaders are attending in honour of Queen Elizabeth II before her funeral.
00:54:22
Speaker
officially it's apparently because it's only working royals, but apparently Andrew is going to be there and he's not fucking worked.
00:54:28
Speaker
So it's still quite frosty between them.
00:54:31
Speaker
And to be honest, I just don't see the monarchy getting any better.
00:54:35
Speaker
I think the Commonwealth will split within the next 20 years because I mean, there's been a lot of Republican sentiment amongst the Commonwealth.
00:54:43
Speaker
So Jamaica, they made it clear, like even to William's face when he was there that we want to leave this shit.
00:54:49
Speaker
They literally just said, we want to go.
00:54:51
Speaker
But I think they sort of held fire because they had that respect and loyalty to Queen Elizabeth II.
00:54:57
Speaker
But now she's gone.
00:54:58
Speaker
I think that tie is just going to be broken, like finally.
00:55:02
Speaker
And they're all just going to break away, hopefully.
00:55:04
Speaker
There should be like a battle royale between her kids for the throne.
00:55:08
Speaker
Like, why do they assume it should be the oldest son?
00:55:11
Speaker
Like, the four of them should have a fight to the death and whichever... They should be like, you know... Didn't that used to happen in some, like, royal families?
00:55:20
Speaker
They were literally just dual.
00:55:22
Speaker
In some countries, yeah.
00:55:24
Speaker
The Turkish ones, usually.
00:55:25
Speaker
Yeah, they...
00:55:26
Speaker
Yeah, like the brothers would all like kill each other.
00:55:29
Speaker
But I think my money would be on Anne.
00:55:31
Speaker
I think she would win.
00:55:31
Speaker
That's why I support this battle royale.
00:55:33
Speaker
I think she's the... Just have another female monarch.
00:55:36
Speaker
Yeah, just have another female monarch.
00:55:38
Speaker
I like immediate first thought after seeing that the queen died was like, okay, now we need to abolish the monarchy now that the next three are going to be kings.
00:55:46
Speaker
Yeah, at least the next three are going to be kings.
00:55:48
Speaker
That just pisses me off.
00:55:50
Speaker
Exactly.
00:55:51
Speaker
I only support monarchy when there's a queen.
00:55:54
Speaker
Like, I'm anti-monarchy when there's a king.
00:55:57
Speaker
But Queen Victoria, I mean, yeah, there's the whole colonialism aspect again.
00:56:01
Speaker
But like, I think she actually did not.
00:56:02
Speaker
Other than the colonialism, she didn't do a bad job.
00:56:06
Speaker
Same thing with Queen Lizzie, but I don't think men are fit leaders.
00:56:11
Speaker
First of all, they don't have the longevity.
00:56:12
Speaker
Why is it always like, oh, this guy was a king and he was king for two years and then croaked, but it's always like...
00:56:21
Speaker
Right?
00:56:21
Speaker
All the longest reigning ones are women.
00:56:23
Speaker
It's true.
00:56:24
Speaker
Our women, if you look at Edward VII, he lasted nine years.
00:56:28
Speaker
King George VI, I think, he lasted 26 years, which is respectable.
00:56:33
Speaker
And then Queen Elizabeth's dad, he lasted 16 years.
00:56:36
Speaker
Right?
00:56:38
Speaker
And also, if you look at Charles now, the guy's 73, like, and if you look at his fingers, people laugh at his fingers, but that's a sign of a serious health problem.
00:56:45
Speaker
It's either diabetes or a heart or kidney problem.
00:56:48
Speaker
So he's not going to last 20 years.
00:56:51
Speaker
Like, he will be, like, gone within the next two decades.
00:56:54
Speaker
Yeah, like he's going to be a blip in history, right?
00:56:57
Speaker
And then like William, I don't know like the state of his health is, but again, he's not going to reign for 70 years, even if he comes to the throne next year.
00:57:05
Speaker
Like it's unlikely he'll live till what's 100 and something.
00:57:09
Speaker
So all the longest reigning monarchs in British history have all been women, Victoria and Elizabeth.
00:57:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:16
Speaker
And also, I just think women are fundamentally better in leadership roles.
00:57:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:21
Speaker
I think they provide more stability as well.
00:57:23
Speaker
And just general, the matriarchy.
00:57:25
Speaker
Like, testosterone, I think men are just hormonally not... Like, their hormones just prevent them from being able to think rationally.
00:57:31
Speaker
And that's why I think that men should not be in any kind of leadership role.
00:57:34
Speaker
Like, honestly, testosterone just makes them lead with their dick.
00:57:37
Speaker
And we all know what happens when that happens.
00:57:40
Speaker
So...
00:57:40
Speaker
you end up with these disgusting transcripts.
00:57:42
Speaker
You know, the future king says he wants to be a tampon because they think with their dick, like they're just not rational beings.
00:57:48
Speaker
And it also gets me when people say like, oh, you know, Queen Elizabeth was so formidable.
00:57:54
Speaker
She got so many people's respect.
00:57:56
Speaker
And I'm just like, but in private, you know, bearing in mind, she came to the throne at what, 25?
00:58:02
Speaker
And, you know, the people who had to report into her would double her age.
00:58:06
Speaker
I don't think for a second that they treated her with the respect that they should have done from the beginning.
00:58:10
Speaker
beginning.
00:58:11
Speaker
I honestly think she was probably, she faced severe misogyny, like sexism.
00:58:16
Speaker
Obviously they couldn't publicly criticize her, but in private, they probably treated her like shit because this was a young woman who was really never meant to be queen, who's now your sovereign.
00:58:27
Speaker
You know, men and their egos, they're not just going to bow down and take it, at least...
00:58:31
Speaker
In private, they won't.
00:58:33
Speaker
So I fully believe that in private, they were probably more speaking to Philip than her or just making out that she was a complete airhead or that she was incompetent.
00:58:41
Speaker
I fully believe that just because she was a woman.
00:58:44
Speaker
But yeah, she outlived all of them.
00:58:45
Speaker
So she got the last laugh, I guess.
00:58:47
Speaker
So, but yeah, that is a whistle-stop tour of the state of the monarchy.
00:58:51
Speaker
I think Charles is going to be a shit king.
00:58:53
Speaker
I just hope we basically become a republic.
00:58:55
Speaker
This, honestly, this whole monarchy presidential system is one area I think the Americans have it over us, is that... Oh, thanks.
00:59:04
Speaker
The presidential system is infinitely... You guys finally admit at least one thing?
00:59:08
Speaker
I'm a United Kingdom 10, America 1.
00:59:11
Speaker
I'm a United Kingdom 10, America 1.
00:59:14
Speaker
In our situation, when we have stupid people in office, we can get rid of them, right?
00:59:18
Speaker
Like imagine if Trump was like a monarch for life.
00:59:22
Speaker
A monarch.
00:59:22
Speaker
Or just imagine if Andrew was the older sibling, he would be king by now.
00:59:26
Speaker
And there's fuck all we can do about it.
00:59:28
Speaker
And it's like, in the UK, royalists have this weird argument where they say, oh, the royals are purely symbolic.
00:59:34
Speaker
But it's like, but we don't give them symbolic money.
00:59:36
Speaker
Like, we don't shut down the country symbolically.
00:59:39
Speaker
Like, you know, they're still exempt from the law.
00:59:41
Speaker
Like, as of now, King Charles III cannot be charged with any crime.
00:59:45
Speaker
If he goes and murders somebody, he cannot be charged for it.
00:59:48
Speaker
Like, you know, they have real power.
00:59:51
Speaker
You know, like you said, in a democracy, anybody should, I mean, obviously it doesn't work out in practicality, but in theory, anybody should be able to become the head of state.
01:00:00
Speaker
That's not the case in England.
01:00:01
Speaker
Like the royal family can't both be symbolic, but at the same time, they work so hard and that, you know, Britain needs them.
01:00:08
Speaker
Like, which is it?
01:00:09
Speaker
They can't be both.
01:00:10
Speaker
Like literally people will say King Charles III has the hardest job in the world.
01:00:14
Speaker
What?
01:00:15
Speaker
Yeah, that's, um, that's delusion.
01:00:17
Speaker
Do people not say that about your president?
01:00:19
Speaker
Do they not say the president has the hardest job in the world?
01:00:21
Speaker
Do they not say that?
01:00:22
Speaker
Yeah, but he actually has the hardest job in the world.
01:00:24
Speaker
Because... Can we talk about actually how fucking easy the royals have it?
01:00:31
Speaker
I mean, yeah, there's decorum and stuff.
01:00:33
Speaker
To be fair, me and hundreds of people you don't give a shit about will be dead.
01:00:36
Speaker
You're not going to lie.
01:00:37
Speaker
Like, I'd be bored.
01:00:38
Speaker
The thing that I hate the most about Charles, honestly, like, I disliked him up until like a few days ago.
01:00:45
Speaker
When I saw that clip of him, like, gesturing, like, through gritted teeth to a servant to move the ink slightly over to the side, I just knew that, like... You could have moved it yourself.
01:00:55
Speaker
Well, I mean, I guess there's, like, you know, if he's got his hands full or if there's, like, certain decorum or certain, like, you know, procedures that they're supposed to follow as royals, I get that.
01:01:04
Speaker
But, like, you could have just, like, held your hand open, like...
01:01:07
Speaker
For me, if I'm like gesturing to someone or, you know, say I have my hands full or something and I want them to move something for me, you know, I just have my hand open and like look at the item until they understand what I'm asking.
01:01:17
Speaker
And like, it might take a few seconds, but eventually they're like, ah, you know, and then they'll move it and we kind of laugh it off.
01:01:21
Speaker
And then it's like, it's not a negative vibe kind of thing.
01:01:24
Speaker
Right.
01:01:25
Speaker
The way that he went about it was the most negative vibe that you could possibly do it like.
01:01:29
Speaker
yeah you know which out like servant like slave like you know move this faster out of my way kind of thing i don't know it's just like i just hate everything about the way that his body language is you know where are the body language experts now huh right i've seen a million of them when it comes to megan markle like everything she does is apparently evidence of her raging narcissism and entitlement and contempt for the british people
01:01:52
Speaker
Yeah, where are the body language experts dunking on Charles for his raging narcissism and entitlement, right?
01:01:57
Speaker
Move this from my presence, you peasant.
01:02:00
Speaker
I mean, I did see a handful of people talking about Camilla's reaction.
01:02:04
Speaker
Because in that video, you can see Camilla looking quite, like, I think she looked quite uncomfortable.
01:02:09
Speaker
And somebody said that that could be because Charles is prone to losing his temper.
01:02:14
Speaker
Like, in a different clip, you see Charles literally, like, exploding because his pen wasn't working.
01:02:19
Speaker
like literally storming out of the room.
01:02:21
Speaker
Didn't even wait for Camilla literally saying, oh, those stinking pens never work.
01:02:25
Speaker
And just storming out in a half.
01:02:27
Speaker
And he literally left Camilla like on her own.
01:02:30
Speaker
No, it was weird.
01:02:31
Speaker
So first he was trying to get the pen to work.
01:02:33
Speaker
Then the pen started leaking.
01:02:35
Speaker
Then he gave it to Camilla, made it her problem.
01:02:37
Speaker
Then the ink got all over her.
01:02:38
Speaker
And then Charles just had a hissy fit and stormed out and left Camilla on her own.
01:02:42
Speaker
And it's just like, who does that?
01:02:43
Speaker
Like what man does that?
01:02:45
Speaker
Explodes over a pen.
01:02:46
Speaker
First of all, he's extremely weak willed.
01:02:48
Speaker
That's the other thing.
01:02:49
Speaker
It's like men who get like upset.
01:02:51
Speaker
I meet guys like this all the time in real life where like they're so prone to like anger over really small things.
01:02:56
Speaker
They're really unbearable to be around.
01:02:58
Speaker
Like you're intimidated by them because physically, yeah, they could like beat the shit out of you because they're bigger than you or they're just like intimidating.
01:03:06
Speaker
Their presence is just intimidating.
01:03:07
Speaker
Right.
01:03:07
Speaker
Even just emotionally.
01:03:09
Speaker
Yeah, I just hate these sorts of men who are just so mentally weak that they can't control their emotions, but they're intimidating enough that you're scared of them.
01:03:16
Speaker
And what happens when they don't control their emotions?
01:03:19
Speaker
So that immediately made me think like he probably treats Camilla like shit behind closed doors.
01:03:22
Speaker
Honestly, I feel for her.
01:03:24
Speaker
Yeah, that's what I think.
01:03:25
Speaker
And also, it's not like she can say anything like Kate as well.
01:03:29
Speaker
They can't say anything because obviously the royal family are going to avoid a Diana situation again.
01:03:33
Speaker
Yeah, she doesn't want to get murked like Diana, okay?
01:03:37
Speaker
But also, I think Camilla knows that even if she did...
01:03:40
Speaker
eventually if she did want to go down the route of Diana she just wouldn't have the same public support if anything people be saying it'll be like shad and fro like you deserve it which is misogynistic in itself because she still doesn't deserve that I just hope she's happy anyway because from the way she was looking it just seemed like you know she was used to Charles like blowing up at servants over like stupid shit like a pen not working properly
01:04:03
Speaker
And it's just embarrassing for her and for him.
01:04:05
Speaker
It's embarrassing for him, but it's embarrassing to be married to a man like that.
01:04:09
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
01:04:10
Speaker
Like, you know, Charles has no shame and he's clearly in, he feels entitled to behave that way in public.
01:04:15
Speaker
Whereas you could tell Camilla looked quite like uncomfortable about how the situations were playing out.
01:04:22
Speaker
That's the thing.
01:04:23
Speaker
Like he feels entitled to behave that way in public, but she knows that if she was even 10% as nasty as that, or even 1% as nasty as that, that she would get destroyed in the media.
01:04:32
Speaker
Right.
01:04:32
Speaker
So it's like her Kate and Meghan Markle have to be like on their best behavior or else they get ripped apart in the media.
01:04:39
Speaker
Again, because of misogyny.
01:04:41
Speaker
Whereas like, I mean, King Charles is getting ripped apart by, for the pen thing too.
01:04:44
Speaker
Right.
01:04:45
Speaker
But it's not in the same way.
01:04:46
Speaker
It's like, Oh, ha ha.
01:04:47
Speaker
He's so silly.
01:04:48
Speaker
Like he's so stupid or, you know, he's such a scrot, like what we're doing.
01:04:51
Speaker
Right.
01:04:51
Speaker
but doesn't have the same like misogynistic energy as when if Camilla were two, right?
01:04:56
Speaker
So she knows she can't behave like that in public.
01:04:59
Speaker
The Royal family would never let her hear the end of it.
01:05:01
Speaker
Honestly, I feel bad for her.
01:05:03
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
01:05:04
Speaker
So that's our whistle-stop tour of the royals and why we over at FDS are very, very sad that Charles is now king.
01:05:14
Speaker
But literally, the day after Elizabeth died and all that stuff about Andrew coming back to public and Charles moving mad came out, all the comments from Republicans were like, Lizzie, wake up.
01:05:24
Speaker
Charles moving mad.
01:05:27
Speaker
Charles moving mad.
01:05:28
Speaker
Everyone was like, Lizzie, wake up.
01:05:30
Speaker
Come back.
01:05:31
Speaker
Lizzie, wake up.
01:05:32
Speaker
Come back.
01:05:33
Speaker
You should have put your son out of his misery when he was young.
01:05:35
Speaker
God, like... I mean, I was slightly hoping that, like, because it was thought for a long time, because obviously people thought the Queen would live to past 100, like, because her mum was, like, 102.
01:05:46
Speaker
And up until, I'd say, Philip died, she just seemed to keep going.
01:05:51
Speaker
She aged very, very well.
01:05:53
Speaker
She moved well.
01:05:54
Speaker
Like, I'm not surprised that she died, but I was sort of sad that she didn't make it to 100, because I thought if any warrior would live to 100, it would be her.
01:06:02
Speaker
because she just seemed to just keep going.
01:06:03
Speaker
Like literally she received the British prime minister, Liz Charles, literally two days before she died.
01:06:08
Speaker
So she was literally, I guess like working up until she literally dropped.
01:06:13
Speaker
So I was disappointed in that regard, but yeah, so we just ended up with Charles and then William and then George and then who knows what else next.
01:06:22
Speaker
But I'm kind of hoping the monarchy won't last as long.
01:06:25
Speaker
It won't get to William.
01:06:26
Speaker
That's what I'm hoping for.
01:06:27
Speaker
Yeah, same.
01:06:28
Speaker
Revolution.
01:06:29
Speaker
I hope they destroy the monarchy, honestly.
01:06:31
Speaker
I hope that Charles is like the last king.
01:06:33
Speaker
The last king.
01:06:34
Speaker
And that would be like, you know, like we said at the top of the episode, that would be so fitting with history because the last two King Charleses, it didn't really work out for them.
01:06:43
Speaker
Didn't they get revolutioned?
01:06:44
Speaker
Like... One of them got beheaded.
01:06:46
Speaker
I can't remember which one.
01:06:47
Speaker
And then the second one was the son of the beheaded guy.
01:06:50
Speaker
But I don't think he lasted very long before he croaked either.
01:06:53
Speaker
So, yeah.
01:06:54
Speaker
So, yeah.
Charles's Ascension & Global Reactions
01:06:56
Speaker
Should Charles be king?
01:06:57
Speaker
Or ring-a-ding-ding?
01:06:58
Speaker
Let us know.
01:06:59
Speaker
Naturally, Charles is now king.
01:07:01
Speaker
Or ring-a-ding-ding.
01:07:02
Speaker
Sad.
01:07:03
Speaker
I mean, going by Irish Twitter, Indian Twitter, Caribbean Twitter...
01:07:08
Speaker
Where are you finding these country twitters?
01:07:10
Speaker
Because all I've seen is like hateration and holleration.
01:07:17
Speaker
Let's get the crock.
01:07:19
Speaker
At the monarchy for the past couple of days with a bunch of flags in the profile.
01:07:28
Speaker
Americans mostly stay out of it unless you come from Meghan Markle.
01:07:31
Speaker
Unless you come from Meghan.
01:07:33
Speaker
Yeah, but otherwise, like all the rest of them, I've never seen so many brutal roasts in my life.
01:07:38
Speaker
Things that are not...
01:07:40
Speaker
I can't even repeat because we'll probably be kicked off the platform.
01:07:43
Speaker
Like there was one woman who she went hard.
01:07:45
Speaker
She went so hard on Queen Elizabeth that she was suspended from Twitter.
01:07:49
Speaker
And Jeff Bezos, former CEO of Amazon, actually quote tweeted her like, oh, my God, because she basically said, I'm glad Kiwi 2 is dead and fuck the monarchy.
01:07:58
Speaker
And they killed a bunch of people.
01:08:00
Speaker
So yeah, there's a lot of people who are very invested in the British monarchy being no more.
01:08:05
Speaker
Cillian Murphy, shout out to him because there's like, I don't know why this is so weirdly hot.
01:08:10
Speaker
Oh, what's he said?
01:08:11
Speaker
No, there's just like this video of, I think Prince Harry trying to meet the cast of one of his movies.
01:08:16
Speaker
And then like, he gives him like a polite handshake and then like... No, he meets the Peaky Blinders cast.
01:08:21
Speaker
Oh yeah, Peaky Blinders cast.
01:08:22
Speaker
I thought it was that or it was Dunkirk.
01:08:24
Speaker
I couldn't remember if it was a movie or if it was from the show.
01:08:26
Speaker
So yeah, so then he gives him like the dirtiest, steeliest scowl afterwards.
01:08:31
Speaker
And it's like oddly very hot.
01:08:33
Speaker
Yeah, I love Cillian Murphy.
01:08:34
Speaker
And also the Irish, obviously don't forget that they assassinated Lord Mountbatten, the one who red-pilled Prince Charles.
01:08:41
Speaker
They blew him up in 1979.
01:08:43
Speaker
cover them they've never actually apologized for it as well like jerry adams who was i think he was president of shin feign i want to say he's an irish republican party he basically said like it was a good thing that he was blown up 20 years later he basically said i'm not gonna take it i said what i said i mean everything i say why would i apologize when i meant it
01:09:10
Speaker
Because after the Good Friday Agreement, they thought that maybe he would reconsider.
01:09:14
Speaker
But he was like, basically, I said what I said.
01:09:17
Speaker
Let's just move on.
01:09:20
Speaker
So the Irish and the British have a very frosty relationship.
01:09:23
Speaker
So yeah, good on Cillian Murphy.
01:09:24
Speaker
And yeah, that's made him hotter to know that he just doesn't give a shit about the royals.
01:09:27
Speaker
He's hot anyway, but that just added.
01:09:29
Speaker
Yeah, they've been going in for, you know, a good week now.
01:09:32
Speaker
And it's been entertaining.
01:09:33
Speaker
I've been really enjoying the Irish reaction to the Queen's death.
01:09:36
Speaker
That was also very amusing.
01:10:03
Speaker
massive potato family in the 1800s that really like an island that like tanked the British's popularity to the point where Queen Victoria had to like send money from her own funds to like help them out I don't think the Irish have ever really forgiven us for that as they should they shouldn't actually forgive us for that
01:10:18
Speaker
Yeah.
Advocacy for Abolishing the Monarchy
01:10:19
Speaker
And so now because of King Charles, I think I am now staunchly Republican.
01:10:23
Speaker
Like, yeah, now that Charles is King, I now think we should, like dead ass, we should abolish the monarchy.
01:10:29
Speaker
Like, actually.
01:10:30
Speaker
Yeah.
01:10:31
Speaker
I mean, I couldn't bring myself to be too nasty because anytime, because I've always been a Republican, but anytime I was criticizing the Roars, I'll be like, oh, Elizabeth's not bad.
01:10:39
Speaker
And for our listeners, like a Republican is different than the United States version.
01:10:43
Speaker
Just make sure we say that because people... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:10:46
Speaker
Not like US Republican.
01:10:47
Speaker
Like not with you crazy lot, but I mean like a republic.
01:10:51
Speaker
Politically Republican, not like American Republican.
01:10:54
Speaker
A political republic is what they're talking about.
01:10:57
Speaker
As in like don't want a monarchy republic.
01:10:59
Speaker
Yeah.
01:10:59
Speaker
Because, you know, we'll get dragged for that if I don't say that.
01:11:02
Speaker
So... Yeah.
01:11:03
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:04
Speaker
I mean, because Americans, a lot of our American audience is not aware that there are other countries outside of America.
01:11:10
Speaker
And so when we say things that refer to other countries existing, they get confused.
01:11:16
Speaker
That's right.
01:11:17
Speaker
We're proud of our ignorance.
01:11:19
Speaker
Lilith says she's a Republican, so that means that she is against abortion or something like that.
01:11:23
Speaker
It's like, no, no, ho.
01:11:24
Speaker
That's not what I mean.
01:11:26
Speaker
I'm just for the Republic of UK.
01:11:29
Speaker
Like not having a monarchy.
01:11:31
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:32
Speaker
so yeah so i'd criticize the morris when i'd be like okay but you know queen elizabeth she's a sweet old lady i don't mean her but now she's gone i can say all of them apart from harry and megan but but actually they're out of it as well so all of them yeah they all need to go they all need to go what should the title of this episode be dead ass we should abolish the monarchy what should we call i think we should just make it inflammatory as usual
01:11:56
Speaker
Yeah.
01:11:56
Speaker
Roast of Scrooge of King Charles.
01:11:58
Speaker
Our tampon king.
01:12:00
Speaker
Yeah, the tampon king!
01:12:01
Speaker
The tampon king!
01:12:03
Speaker
No, just say the tampon.
01:12:04
Speaker
No, no, the Tampax king.
01:12:05
Speaker
Yeah, the tampon king.
01:12:07
Speaker
The tampax.
01:12:07
Speaker
No, no, no, I don't want Tampax.
01:12:10
Speaker
We don't have a brand deal of Tampax, okay?
01:12:12
Speaker
Oh, true, true.
01:12:13
Speaker
Oh, true.
01:12:14
Speaker
The tampon king, a roast of King Charles III.
01:12:18
Speaker
Yes, the tampon king.
01:12:21
Speaker
That's what he's called on like English Twitter, the tampon king.
01:12:24
Speaker
Really?
01:12:24
Speaker
That's what they call him, the tampon king?
01:12:27
Speaker
Yeah, because people dug up the transcripts like saying our future king was like, compared himself to a tampon.
01:12:34
Speaker
A used tampon, by the way.
01:12:36
Speaker
A used tampon.
01:12:38
Speaker
Oh my god.
01:12:39
Speaker
No, they call him King Tampon, not the Tampon King.
01:12:42
Speaker
Yeah.
01:12:42
Speaker
God save the Tampon King.
01:12:45
Speaker
That's what we call the Tampon King, a race of King Charles III.
01:12:48
Speaker
Okay.
01:12:48
Speaker
Thanks for listening to this episode,
Closing & Listener Engagement
01:12:50
Speaker
ladies.
01:12:50
Speaker
Check us out on our website, thefemaledatingstrategy.com.
01:12:54
Speaker
forward slash form if you want to talk to us on the forum also visit our patreon patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy for more bonus content our discord if you want to chat with us if you want to submit a roast to scrote or a queen shit or a nasus for us to read a lot on the podcast and one of our future roasts episodes you can do that on the patreon as well as check us out on twitter at femdetstrat and instagram at underscore the female dating strategy thanks for listening queens and for all you scrotes out there learn how tampons work die mad see y'all next week
01:13:23
Speaker
you