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kristen's going to jail (for the 3rd time)
3.4k Plays3 months ago
episode 6: the girly girls talk first dates and dating !
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Transcript
Introduction & Setting the Stage
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey Chris. Hi Eames, what's up? I have to tell you something. Oh my god, okay. Should I three-way Peyton in? Yeah, call P. Okay. Hello? Hey, Eames needs to tell us something. I'm three-waying you in. Okay, immediately. Okay, so... I can't wait till you hear how big of a bitch you sound like. Well, I'm gonna cut it out. Duh. Gonna start right now. Hey, guys. Welcome to Three Way. It's ya girls. I really regret not looking at your face when you said that.
00:00:40
Speaker
Okay, so it's us, Iman, Peyton, and Kristin. Peyton P-E-Y-T-O-N. What did you guys say today? Classic. Kristin's vaping. Again. I'm actually gonna take a photo of the smoke cloud in there. Got it. You're going to jail. You're going to jail.
Work Personas & Personal Authenticity
00:01:00
Speaker
Wait, you guys, am I like a little bit of a square and like a little annoying? Seriously? Honest. No, I don't think you're a square. A little annoying? I think you're more square than annoying. No, we're not. No, you're not. I feel like I'm the square of the group. You're just really strange square. I just feel like this is how I am at work, but now you guys are seeing this version of me. And it's like embarrassing because like as a friend, I'm not this way, but I know working setting. I am. I appreciate it. But it's good. I'm on in a work setting. Okay. That version of you. Why'd you only say you're on? I don't think I've ever seen you in a work setting. Actually still to this day where we'll be waiting. I'm like known for being a hard worker. Yeah. ah hea I also want to go on record from top just to say this. I am hungover, but it's because we're still recording two episodes at once. And I'm not just hungover again. I'm hungover for the one time. This is the same day. Yeah, the same day. Okay. We brought a change of clothes. Yeah. Okay. Fine. Now you guys know for the social clips, we teach clothes. So it looks different. Okay. So today we're going to be talking about all things. ah We got caught. We're going straight to jail. You're going to jail. You can't bring your vape there, Kristen. Just so you know, if you go for the third time, you can't bring your baby. Oh, I know. that What you can, you can smuggle stuff in there.
00:02:39
Speaker
You don't know how big my butt is. Ew.
00:02:44
Speaker
I know, I just like felt like, I just like was craving that reaction. And so I just said that. I kind of know what you mean. Yeah. girls You girls get it. You girls know what I mean.
First Dates: Strategies & Stories
00:02:56
Speaker
So today we're gonna be talking about first aid, situationships, relationships, and here's the thing, we hate when people sound like preachy, like they're trying to give advice. This is not us being like, oh, not advice, tips, oh, situationships, tips. This is not us saying that we know any better than you, we're just talking about our own experiences and like take whatever or don't or do your own thing or like turn the podcast off right now. Or like laugh at us, don't make fun of us. Make fun of us in your head.
00:03:24
Speaker
But let's not make fun of us anywhere other than that. Well, we actually find it hilarious so you could send us hate. Okay, no, we are not welcoming hate. I can't handle that.
00:03:37
Speaker
Anyways, okay. I'm like not joking. I want to start off by talking about my first date ritual. Okay. So if you girls can imagine this. Wait, also, can we just give a little backup thing? Yeah. Iman is actively looking for her future partner. So Iman goes on a lot of dates, which is why I think you're the perfect person to talk about this because you actually just like do get up and do it. You know what I mean? I do it as often as I can. You were always on dates. Yeah, and the hardest part. Unlike some of us. Unlike some of us. Who have to be bribed to go on a date. Who literally have to be bribed. So anyways, number one on my first date ritual is that I have a um specified first date outfit that I always wear each time. Is it a black body suit? um It's like a black top. Don't say my joke, bit bitch.
00:04:28
Speaker
and Well, you did say something about that. And then I'm wondering, do we literally all just wear black body suits? Is that like black top jeans? Yeah, I just i I want to avoid the spiral of like, it's almost time to go. I'm getting kind of nervous. I go into my closet. I feel like I look hideous. Everything looks bad on me. I can't go anymore. I'm sweating. And then I go into it with bad mindset. Just same outfit. And also, I try not to overdo trying to look my best. I want to look like the best version of myself on a casual day. Because that in my brain is like, okay, this is like low stakes. And if I'm like, I need to look the best I've ever looked, that's also... It's gonna be a bad vibe for me personally. yeah Next, I pregame it as if I'm like meeting a friend for drinks. So I might have a glass of wine before I'm blasting my music. I'm having the best time. I'm still not thinking about the fact that I'm going on a date. I'm going into psychosis so that I can just be like, whatever.
00:05:23
Speaker
And then depending on my bank account and my mood level, I'm either gonna order a black SUV to get there. I'm gonna roll down all the windows and do cruel stuff rule summer by Taylor Swift on repeat. If I don't get that car, I'm not rolling down the windows and doing the song. It's just not that same vibe. So I'm just. No, not a little different. If it's the Honda Civic, I'm just like scrolling on Instagram. Yeah, you're dissociating. Yeah, I'm dissociating. And another one, which might be a little controversial, I don't wanna bring one of those like first date type questions games on a first date, which is ironic, obviously, because I used to work for winners and like they have the first date pack and whatever. I feel like because I like helped make those games and I understand the power of good questions, I don't wanna play those games until like the third or fourth date because sometimes
00:06:18
Speaker
really good questions can like mimic initial chemistry with someone. yeah So I don't want to like be creating emotional intima intimacy with someone and then that feels like the spark of really liking someone because good questions can do that. So on the very first date, I either want to sink or swim on our own and I want the chemistry to like already be there. And then I love those games and I want to implement them but not to like date three or four when we're building on something but I don't want that to force us to feel closer because like it's gonna be an awkward silence I don't want to mask that I want to like know our full vibes right yeah I know that's like the first time I heard someone be like was it a good date or like are you just easy to talk to and funny it right and I know those are those things to myself yeah
00:07:06
Speaker
I heard someone say once. Yeah, I heard heard someone say once. um No, but it's true. I'm like, I know I am so damn fucking charming that I can't help but- It's always a good date. I can't help but just enjoy myself sometimes. Yeah, and that's that's another issue that I run into sometimes. It's like, am I just really funny? Am I just really cool? Right. but they Are they in this for the tits? Are they in this for the tiny waist? Right. What about drinking on the date? Do you have any rules or do you just like- I always try to have a rule. Get her in trouble. What are you going to say? She needs to actually speak. She's mumbling. I'm always mumbling. No, you're mumbling. You're hungover mumbling. You need to like... You're always judging me. Find a semi straight to rehab. The extremist. Find just a semi straight to rehab. Actually just kill me right now. I actually have begging to be shot. No, rehab is like way more extreme than killing.
00:08:02
Speaker
Yeah, it is. Really? I've always thought it sounded fun, but only the one in Malibu. A really nice one where you get to go on the hikes and stuff. it's that's The one with the horses? Yeah, like where Brittany's used to. I've always wanted to go there. As long as I can have my phone. And they have good food. Anyways, there's a chef on site. Yeah. Do I drink on first dates? Um, I always try to have a rule. I'm always like, Iman, don't get too crazy. I'm like telling myself in the mirror, I've had first dates where I wake up the next morning and I don't remember a thing. So then I go on a second date and I will be asking them questions because I love asking questions and they'll be like, Oh, we already talked about And then it'll be like five five questions in a row. One time it's been really, really embarrassing, because I actually did really like the guy. I was like, see, do you have siblings? And he was like, um we literally just, oh, you don't. And I did it like three times again after that. And he was like, oh, so how much do you remember? And I was like, fuck. And then I was like, you know what? Sometimes when I drink, I just like don't remember anything. Sorry. And then anyways, i've I've been trying to do one to do drinks, but then it just starts getting so fun. And so I don't know.
00:09:13
Speaker
Basically, you don't have a rule about you guys. No, I don't have a rule. and but about for like what I guess, okay, I will say I have a rule where I feel like I do a to drink minimum. Minimum? Yes. Oh. Because sometimes I've been on a date and like not, which like I shouldn't do. um But i see I say that in a way where it's like I give it a chance like that's like a time yeah stamp basically. Oh I see what you're saying. Yeah to where and to where like I loosen up a bit to like not be so cunty and like put the rest of my day behind me because sometimes you know you just like bring energy into something. Yeah.
00:09:54
Speaker
Um, anyway, so there have been times where I've been like, I want to leave. And then I've been like, whatever, I should like have another drink and just like embrace this. Cause it just feels so abrupt. But I feel like we've gone over this on Peyton's podcast where you are like really good about leaving the second you're not enjoying yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Your exit strategy. me Yeah. you She's like, Oh, I got to go to work tomorrow. I do that, but that's like, I give it a two drink minimum. I feel like.
00:10:25
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I've like been ghosted after a first date before because I drank way too much for the guy who was completely sober, like I'm just a super person and I distinctly remember talking about my ex for like 25 minutes. Oh my god. I blacked out and he asked me a question. And I was like, oh yeah, no. like I was trying not to go too deep into it. He's like, no, let's just share. And I was like, all right, well. Pull the mic. Yeah, exactly. You're like, do you mind if we film this? So bad. It was so bad. And he never spoke to me again. That's happened to me on the other end, but it was like an ex.
00:11:07
Speaker
Situation ship that came back around and we used to go to sugar fish all the time So I was like take me to sugar fish. We'll catch up He talked about his like X the entire fucking time and I just was like well I guess I'm just gonna like vibe it out and like enjoy the sushi and like pretend I'm a therapist for a second and then I obviously just never responded to him again and So that's basically the um a monster with a guy saying about Iman. Yeah. No, but the worst part was after I was telling like this terrible story about my ex, he ended up knowing him at the end of it. He was like, oh, wait, it's his name. No. And he knew him because he knew. well'll We'll believe these names. He knew. Because he's best friends with. Jesus fucking Christ. And so he knew.
00:11:56
Speaker
And it was like, oh, is this guy's name? He's like, yeah. He's like, oh, I am like best friends with her ex. And then it was like, I knew he was never going to talk to me again. That's really embarrassing. I'm already getting anxiety that I just shared on here. But anyways. so Yeah. Anyways, how about you girls? so Well, I want to ask you a question because this is part of your rituals, I guess, like the follow up ritual. Like, do you text first? Do you wait for them to text first? yeah How soon do you set a second date?
Connection & Intimacy on First Dates
00:12:27
Speaker
Well, okay, I either feel like a connection instantly or I never feel it. So everyone that I've ever dated, like anyone who's become my boyfriend, I've slept with on the first or second date. Anyone who I haven't slept with on the first time or second date, I've never slept with ever.
00:12:45
Speaker
yeah So I feel like normally it's very much like, oh, we're obsessed with each other. Like when I, with one of my, with my most recent ex after our first date, we had to sleep over for the next nine nights after that. So it's like, I don't have to think about like the, Oh, do I text? Oh, do I not text? I've dated people for months and just never slept with him. Yeah. And I'm like, no, but like they're so fun. Like we have a great time together. And my friends are like, yeah, cause you guys are friends. You don't want to sleep. I feel like I'm the queen of y'all are friends. Yes. That's not a boyfriend. I think that I either feel a connection instantly or I don't, but everyone that I've slept with, like on a first date has become my boyfriend or I dated them seriously. I'm very into sleeping together on the first date that I met Joe. Well, I blacked out and then had sex with Joe and I forgot that. But then in the morning that I remembered that one. Yeah. And that was the thing that made him more like edgy and cool to me. Like it got him brownie points because Joe's so like dad like I would say. Yeah. Um, his dad's actually a pediatrician and I always say like Joe reminds me like that energy. You know what I mean? Like he's a very, just like sweet and like kind of like goofy and stuff. So I wasn't taking him serious and like a sexy way when I first met him, I guess. And then I hooked up with him and I was like, Oh, okay. All right. But I did that with the guy that I dated in college too. We like, it was supposed to be one night stand and then we ended up dating for a year and a half or so. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:19
Speaker
yeah And he was the best. I feel like I like to know pretty soon on. And I feel like maybe this is bad first date advice, but I feel like the whole like, should you sleep with him? Should you not sleep with him? Always hinges on like, you know, what is going to make it him like you more? Whereas I feel like we need to be operating from a space of like, what's going to give you the best like perspective on him. You know, cause I feel like we're usually like, well, you either are going to sleep with them in order to make him like you, or you're not going to sleep with them and hold it and like, um, and wait on that in order to make him like you.
00:14:54
Speaker
But I feel like that's why I do sometimes like not talk myself out of hooking up at first. Cause I'm like, if I'm going to get icked out, I might as well know sooner rather than later. I also don't really like the kind of guy that judges a girl for sleeping with him on the first date. So like, it's kind of like a, a misogyny test a little bit. Like it could be obviously also he's just a dickhead and like wants to bang or, He you have sex with them and he's not like oh what a gross whore Like he's actually just like oh, I'd actually like this girl. You know what I mean? Well, I just think there shouldn't be one rule across the board I just think everyone should define sex and we feel comfortable doing like I Haven't slept with that many people but everyone that I have slept with I've slept with very early on because I'm like, okay this is just what I feel comfortable with but I'm never like gone home with a guy after a bar before I've never like
00:15:47
Speaker
I don't know, I wouldn't consider myself even super promiscuous, but if someone's gonna judge me, because I sleep with him on the first date, but they're one of not that many, it just doesn't. It's like, fine, guess you're gonna miss out. I really think it's whatever you're comfortable with, but I hate the whole argument of should you do it or should you not do it, because he's not gonna take you serious or something. You just decide for yourself. Do you literally want to or do you literally not? Too psychological. Now I'll do it if I want to. That's about, that's kind of like how I live my whole life though in general. If I'm horny, I will. Yeah. If I'm horny and everything's shaved and I feel hot. And everything's perfect and greatly aligned. Yeah. And I drink enough. Yeah, exactly.
00:16:33
Speaker
Yeah, I do whatever, but I also, so my favorite kind of first date, quote unquote, actually, I was thinking about this the other day when we talked about doing this episode. I was trying to like rack my brain for like, obviously I met Joe via the internet, but then whenever he, we first met in person, it was like in a group of my friends, which I love and it reminded me of when Sophie and I, one of our friends used to match with guys on like hinge or whatever it was at the time, like the league. And instead of going on dates with them, we'd be like, Hey, like my friends and I are going to like this bar. Like if you want to go much more fun, it's so easy. They can bring their guy friends. It's like that first initial thing. Cause I don't necessarily want to sit down for like dinner with someone on a first date. I either want to do like.
00:17:15
Speaker
a quick drink so we can be in and out absolutely or it's like a situation where like, okay, we're going to be here this weekend. Like your friends come meet my friends. And and also like things have happened in those situations where like, maybe I didn't like the guy that I matched with, but like one of my friends liked his friends or something. Right, and it's a good way to know if they're gonna be a good culture fit for your friends group, because like every friends group has such a specific culture, which is just its own thing in itself, but you they have to yeah think or swim. yeah Yeah, and then you have stuff to talk about, too. It's not just you guys on your date. You can be like, oh, well, then so-and-so did this, and oh my god, they hooked up, and like it's just like a fun, it's just more fun, in my opinion. More references, too. yeah Like, see, like my friends are cool. like I'm cool.
00:18:00
Speaker
ah well and cool i promise Okay, Kristen, what do you have to say about first dates? Cause you've, you've, you know, upped your game lately. I mean, by that, I mean, you went on a date this last week. No, I like go through periods where when I am like serious about dating, I do this thing where I go on a bunch of first dates and then, you know, it filters into like, who do I want to go on second dates with? Because I feel like you have to be like in the right mindset.
Dating Dynamics & Strategies
00:18:29
Speaker
Like playoffs. Yeah, yeah exactly. So I, you know, will just aggressively be on the apps.
00:18:37
Speaker
And then be like, okay, I'm going to like just set up a bunch of first dates. And I feel like I always had a rule that I, my first dates would not be my only plans that night. And not just to get out of staying or anything, but just to not put pressure on it or me not dip out. because one thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna fucking cancel a first date. Like I just, sometimes it's it's exhausting to me and sometimes it's not enjoyable. So sometimes I kind of have to do it as like a game. And yeah, I feel like back in the day, I would just go on like a bunch of first dates and then I would, yeah, which I guess is, ah is that just creating a roster? Is that how everyone does it?
00:19:20
Speaker
yeah Oh, you have a first date and then second date and then you have your third date. No, but like, um, uh, like, yeah, like in groups and is what you're saying. Yeah. Like where it's like, I go on a bun. Yeah. I go on a bunch of first dates. Yeah. And whoever makes it to the next round. Anyway, so. So you're hosting your own version of The Bachelorette. Exactly. OK. Some people don't make it to the next gross ceremony. You always love being kind of like the center of attention. So I feel like you're just making your own like dating show. Yeah. And then when I go home, I like film Confessionals. You shouldn't do that on TikTok, honestly. That would be iconic, actually. And because also you don't care. So like I can imagine the guys being like, um, hello, what the fuck is this? And you're like, yeah, he just like, what am I Interesting kind of smelled a little bit weird and you'll be like what literally me talking about New York You're like what I don't care I'm like, I literally just don't fucking care also hates it and I and either way that's what's meant to be baby one of you guys figured out who New York boy was because we posted yeah, you fucking creep the three-way story about
00:20:29
Speaker
he posted something embarrassing and a girl sent back his story like, how many people guessed this yet? And it was like, well, no one. Not one babe. No, no, no. But the way that she figured out was genius. She said she went through stories of people I was following of guys. And I honestly probably follow five guys of the like 3500. That's so true. So honestly, it probably wasn't hard. I should have fucking unfollowed him. I still should. That is. That's amazing. That's amazing. I'm actually so bad at creeping and I um also don't like to creep. Like, and also if she's listening, try to figure out the people that I'm dating their Instagrams. I want to know if you can figure it out. Okay. Whoa. The people you're dating, your roster, my roster. Yeah. And, and number them rank them rank them. Um, Kristen, how was your first date though?
00:21:21
Speaker
um it was fine it was good conversation it was flowing um wait why do i feel like you lie you're lying about going on the date so i can go to the henry because i haven't heard one thing about it yeah i don't know his name you like said you were on the way there i didn't know but here's the thing i saw her location because i was trying to see where a thunderbolt was i was like i know i thought he was like i thought he was like fucking up and things list ah doing a lisp. But you were like downtown, that's what I was gonna say. I know, dude, I washed, okay, so let me fucking paint the picture. It's Friday, I'm on set all day. um And then, and I wore makeup to set. And then I got home, relaxed with the girls, my dogs. And um and I washed my face.
00:22:11
Speaker
period. And then I was scrolling hinge and he was like, um, we, and I, we had previously matched and he was like, do you want to get drinks tonight? And he said that earlier in the day. And I was like, I'm literally in bed. You're going to have to like convince me otherwise. And then I guess he did. And well, no, I did. imon did Yeah. Give me his number so I can tell me it was me $25.
00:22:41
Speaker
so So then I went on the date and it was like, you know, okay, so let's just say this. Most of the time I feel like I'm just waiting for the guy to shut up so I can talk because I'm like, I'm going to be more interesting than you. There's no way you're more interesting than me. Like, I'm sorry. what i guess men really aren't that But don't you want to know about him so that you can know if you like him Yeah, but once I get enough details, I'm like, okay, shut the fuck up um You're like, I'll take over from here. Yeah, exactly. But this guy was fascinating me. He literally at the, how you he was a preacher. Okay. Well, because he's a preacher's son was the son of a preacher man. Okay. Copyright infringement. The only one that could ever reach me.
00:23:31
Speaker
Why do you keep referencing times that you're so clearly wrong and then try to think like, I did something wrong? Kristen tried to put a song into our podcast, like an actual real song, 30 seconds of a genuinely real song. And I was like, oh, Kristen, let's cut this out. She ignores my note to cut it out. And I was like, oh, Kristen, you didn't do this note. and She's like, Yeah, I don't know. I think we should keep it in. I don't think it's i don't think there's an issue with that. This is such a great example of Kristin's creative direction. We're like, Kristin, we just can't do this. It's gonna get taken down. She's like, yeah, but it's- We can't be like everyone else. But for the 10 minutes that it's up, the girls are gonna be laughing. And you guys just stick with me, okay? I don't wanna take out, it's funny. And it's like, oh no, we'll get sued and then- She's like, this won't die. She's like, finally let me do something, finally. We're like, you can't. She's like, can I just keep, it's like funny, it's banter. She's like getting mad at us. It's like, no, it's just gonna get taken down. And then she's referencing it right now, again.
00:24:30
Speaker
ah but front of my Yeah, anyway. god That's such a good example. like When we're talking about creative direction, we're like, Kristin, it's just, no. I mean, there are you know what? There's two people in this world. There are rule followers. Rule breakers. And there's there's girls that like to go ah against the grain. to Like to do legal stuff. Legal stuff. Legal stuff. That like to have copyright infringement. And then we go, Kristin, I don't think we can add that. It hurts her feelings.
00:25:00
Speaker
so so writing anything right
00:25:07
Speaker
so it just fuck me then no lee we can't do this so like we will get sued yeah but but i can yeah No, but like she's self-aware so that's cool
00:25:23
Speaker
and ah So he was fascinating because he is the son of a preacher and his parents were super religious. He's an only child, red flag, red flag. And he joined like a punk rock or like a screamo band basically at 16 and they randomly made it big and he toured until he was 21. And I was like, wait, what? I was like, your life's crazier than mine. um And he.
00:25:57
Speaker
Yeah, then like moved to l LA and started doing like videography and like so he like definitely earned his right to speak on the state Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was ah I was like actually captivated I was like, I actually don't really want to talk about myself. I know but i don't know if that which is Shocking cuz like when's that ever happened never never um So Yeah, but I don't know that the sexual attraction was there. Okay. Um, but I like don't know that I i don't oh, I don't know I don't know that it when can you ever just explain it though? You know, what I mean though I can I can always explain it. You really can. Yeah, I just feel it. I'm like old gay ah um Assistant
00:26:45
Speaker
i He was like the like kind of straighter version, but like he kind of was doing some femmy things Okay, I think guys that talk with their hands a lot it comes off to me as very feminine My dad is just instilled that in me Unfortunately he told you that yeah, I think well no he told he told me that if a guy dances with his hands over his head that they're probably gay It's like such like an old fashioned like parent thing, you know, but I can't help but like if I do if I see a guy like I'm like Well, I understand when you've been conditioned and told something since childhood like from your parents, even if you don't want to believe it It's like it's really hard. I also just have this thing where I think Every man is a little gay that instilled in me that any man who wears another man's like I'm so against men wearing jerseys of other men because my dad's like I I remember at some point in my childhood, he brought that up and was like, I would never fucking wear another man's name across my back. That's so funny. Yeah, I remember you telling me that, and it's true. I am like, yeah, that is... Well, there was also a Chris D'Elia sketch that he was like, if you're wearing a man's name across your back and you see that man in public, that guy gets to fuck you.
00:27:58
Speaker
He's like, you're wearing a Wayne Gretzky jersey and you see Wayne Gretzky. That guy gets to fuck you. And so anytime you see a man wearing a jersey, I'm just like, ugh. My parents have never said anything like that. It is very submissive for a man to do. It is weird. It's weird. It's just weird behavior to me. Last name. I wear Joe's jersey because I want him to fuck me. That's the thing. Right, exactly. Oh my god, relax. This is like a family program. Oh my God. I'm so sorry guys i guys. I don't know what that was out of pocket. Yeah. so yeah press release So sorry. You guys had to hear that anyway. Um, so yeah, he was fascinating. I think he was going to go in for the kiss whenever he like walked me to my car and we like hugged, but I,
00:28:51
Speaker
Oh, she says we do not even kiss on the first date around here. No, I just, I wasn't feeling the vibes. I was just like ready for bed and I was cold and I was like, you're like, I'm just here. She goes to the Henry for the next three weeks. yeah I'm like, I'm literally just here. Cause my friend, don't we go yeah. Um, so yeah, he won't be like returning. I don't think so because he hasn't even texted me. Oh, so it's not the fact that you like yeah the truth comes out. The the truth is revealed. I think that's another rule. I do try to go on more than one date. I feel like I want more context sometimes because I'm like, oh, maybe they're not. yeah And I am getting better with just trusting my judgment. That's the thing I'm learning where I don't trust my own judgment because my parents my whole life have told me that I have horrible judgment.
00:29:41
Speaker
Well, did you? Yes.
00:29:47
Speaker
So it's like, obviously I don't trust that. um So yeah, I feel like i I give people like second chances sometimes when they just like don't deserve them. Or it's like you're like, Oh wait, is there something wrong with me? Or are they actually great? And I just don't know. yeah And I think the thing about me is I like to be very sure about my decisions. yeah So like during a breakup or like a friend breakup or something like, I will basically do everything I can to like resolve or fix before I know like I have to create the boundary because I don't want to have like any what ifs and or ands or buts. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll make myself look stupid just so that I can prove it to myself. And I don't even care. yeah I feel like I'm consistently and quickly very sure of things. Like I'm not
00:30:40
Speaker
Like I can make a split decision in one second and I know it's the right decision for me. Genuinely, the only time I've ever been unsure is getting back together with Joe. I was like, I don't know the right answer here. Like I just didn't, I was so conflicted and I've really never been. Leanne is so happy to hear that. What I was so conflicted because my ego was just like eating away at me and my ego was telling me to do something. I guess what I mean is. You wanted him to hurt the way you. Yeah. And I also was just like, he doesn't deserve this. You know what I mean? Like I was definitely my ego was hurt, but I was also pretty quickly able to be like, okay, this is your ego speaking. Like, do you want to let that control your life? Yeah. Or do you care? I feel like he looked a little bit stupid and get back together with him. And I'm like, that ego looks stupid. Who cares? Yeah. I mean, I feel like what I mean by that is more, let's say if.
00:31:28
Speaker
I don't know, I'm frustrated with my boyfriend and I'm starting to get to the phase where I'm like, oh, I don't know if this is a right fit. I need to communicate. Let's say if I've communicated a hundred times and I'm like, oh, I don't know if I was clear enough. I need to do it the millionth time to make sure. I need to- Same or reword it or send you this TikTok that made me think about it differently. I need to be able to prove to myself because right after a breakup, I feel like you instantly start to forget the bad stuff. And or at least for me. I instantly start to forget the bad stuff the second we break up I'm like wait did I say that or was this my so I romanticize the fuck out of it you gaslight yourself you like see them in slow motion like with a perfect light on them and youre and exactly and then I'm like oh wait we have like the best and it's like it's hard to then remember those like the gut-wrenching feeling or like the terrible night, so I have to
00:32:18
Speaker
do things to prove to myself, Iman, you actually like check this box. You absolutely tried your best. I feel the same exact way. yeah And actually I like wrote this PDF of like, should you break up
Breakup Strategies & Relationship Reflection
00:32:32
Speaker
with them? Just like, yeah I didn't put it anywhere. No, just like for like literally just for like. Should we release them? Let's do a podcast episode called, should you break up with them? Yeah, we could we can release it. It's like step by step. Should you break up with them? Should you break up with them? Because I'm always on such the verb verb verge, but I've been able to break up with people when I feel the need like I should. And so I follow, I just wrote down things to get me there. so Is that your way of doing it so you don't spend too much time on, like, so you don't stay longer? yeah Is that your way of like knowing when to leave?
00:33:08
Speaker
Kind of so Virgo of you. I feel like when I write it out. It helps me solidify like What I mean and like what I'm doing and like justify it to myself I don't know how to explain it but I write a lot of things like that literally just for myself or like if a friend's going through something I'll like Write some like for fun. It sounds bizarre saying it out loud No, no, it's like the most tea thing in the whole fucking world like you get into my notes app. it's my diary yes there's actually like i actually do have like a long ass note of like all my stories that i tell all the time because i just want it in writing and i want to like remember the details because you know i smoke so who knows and vape
00:33:47
Speaker
ah Yeah. oh
00:33:51
Speaker
And anyway. Yeah. Anyway. So, um, I have everything in there and then if I'm just like having thoughts, I feel like I'm a overthinker, which is maybe the re maybe from the weed. I could maybe like try to cut it out again to see if that's happening happening. Um, but I like to just like type things out and like, I don't know, play it out in my mind. It's like my little diary and so it's scary. Skewy. It's very skewy. Have you ever or have you lately been on like a really good first date that you feel like the guy like just ghosted you or something after?
00:34:28
Speaker
I've never been ghosted in a time where I didn't understand why. yeah I feel like I'm pretty like, I've been ghosted before, people haven't liked me, but I've been pretty much on the page of like, I understand this, never liked me. Yeah, like it's pretty mutual. Haven't you like told a guy in the first date that like you weren't vibing with him? Yeah. Or like left early? Yeah. Have you ever gotten an argument with someone on a first date? Yes. You know that I have. And that's when I know the sex is going to be incredible. When I'm in a fight with you on the first date. We're going to. We're going to hook up. That's bizarre. What do we have to argue about? But the people that I've argued with on the first date. Whoo. I'll tell you something.
00:35:06
Speaker
I feel like I'm so the opposite. we're Like if I'm arguing, I like never want to speak to this person again. My mind doesn't even go there. Well, the argument isn't like real. Like it's like a fake. I'm not an argue. It's not like a toxic. It's just like kind of like a I don't know. It's more silly. I mean, I've seen you be toxic before. Well, it's yeah it's like you guys talking about things that don't actually exist, problems that don't actually exist. It's like not a real thing because it's a first date. But then you both are so on the other side of the spectrum of each thing that you can't help but be like, no, well. Well, I'll give you an example. Peyton was there for this one one time. This wasn't a first date, but I met this guy. Me and Peyton were together.
00:35:44
Speaker
And um we're at this house party. We're having a great time. We're vibing. I was like, oh my God, I'm obsessed with it. It's like instant attraction, instant obsession. We're both feeling it. And then um I think we, and I think I ended up sleeping over at the house. We have a sleepover. I'm fully clothed. We don't even kiss. The next morning we wake up and he's like, do you remember everything? I'm like, yeah, of course. He's like, what's my name? And he had a very complicated name. I start my stomach drops and I was like fuck, but I guess I didn't care about, we just were having great, what is the name matter over the vibes? And that's what I tried to say, I was like look, right I don't remember what your name is, but our vibes were there. Here's the thing, but imagine a guy saying that to you. I'd be like, go fuck yourself. that I guess it just made sense to me yeah that I understand the other side and we got in a heat
00:36:38
Speaker
Huge fight, like huge, like at first I was like- Like screaming, he like kicked her out of the house. No, like before this moment my phone was dead and he was like, just stay, like I'm not letting you try and like charge your phone. I'm not giving you a charger. She was in prison, she was being held. After this happened, he like gave me, like handed me a charger with no words. He's like, here you go. and was over it and enlighten genuinely mad didn't talk to me for three months. And then after the three months, he just texted me one time at like 11 p.m. Mind you, he didn't live in L.A. Three months later, he texted me at like 11 p.m. What are you doing? And I was like, I don't know, hanging out with you. He's like, yeah. Was your address sending an Uber? I said, OK. Got an Uber went to his house.
00:37:17
Speaker
Then he ended up moving down the street from her. That was a whole other thing. And he actually was insane. No, he's and insane. But it also made it like I kind of love when you encounter people like that because you it makes also you insane. like There's a side of you that comes out that I'm like. i mom like like you're insane yeah that was insane I mean we met one time and then he was like, what are you doing? and They thought all the time basically, I don't even think we slept together or then again that night I think it was he was very anti sleeping together, but that's again. That's what I'm saying. red to What's the point? No, he wouldn't sleep with me if I had like a sip of alcohol cuz he was like I don't yeah think like I don't want you to regret
00:37:53
Speaker
Which is interesting, because I genuinely think he's a horrible person. So it's interesting that he went that route. Well, I think it's because he's an athlete. So he doesn't want me to be like, oh, this person took advantage of me, and it ruins his career. He wants no liability. Yeah. So if I had a sip of alcohol, he would inspect me, and I would lie constantly. And he would catch me constantly. Me and Kelsey would be black out on our couch. I'd be like, hey, yeah, no, I haven't had a sip of
Date Behavior & Unpredictability
00:38:16
Speaker
alcohol. It's so obvious. He is so scary to me. But that brought on a side of you that I feel like I'm like, wow, respect. Yeah, I was insane. I don't know and I feel like I'm gonna say seems so confusing to everyone because I am insane But I'm also not but I also am you're being insane on purpose like you're not being they're not being controlled by something else You like are literally just like this is funny. I'm insane. I think it's hilarious. No, it's hilarious.
00:38:41
Speaker
So yeah anyways, back to what else are our first date rules. You know what? I actually have a rule of like it's an internal rule. I haven't really said this out loud. We may have on first dates. It's a red flag to me. If the date goes too smoothly, like I like that kind of raw awkwardness. I feel like that that's very real. And if someone is too slick, it feels fake and rehearsed. And I feel like you should feel awkward on a first date. You guys are literally sitting down together to be like, will you be my possible husband? That's exactly what I was going to say. Sometimes when it goes so well, you're like, wait, did we just read a script? Were we just playing? I feel like guys that are too smooth give me fuck away vibes. I need it to be a little awkward.
00:39:28
Speaker
when I need to feel uncomfortable, because it's in kind of an uncomfortable situation, but it doesn't need to be too uncomfortable. like There's a level of raw that that it needs to be. um I think it's just whenever like every answer is just like a little too pretty. It's too charming, it's too smooth. I'm like, you you have done something? I'm like, no. like this is that This is the time to talk about every... It doesn't feel like everything real. Okay, this is actually a a good... point me and me yesterday we're talking about how um we should kind of get out all the uncomfortable questions on the first couple dates because a you get an unbiased answer. They're not trying to impress you. They don't know your preconceived thoughts notions everything.
00:40:17
Speaker
And B, once you start dating and you keep dating, then you ask those questions later on. They're so loaded feeling yeah and you want the full honest truth. And so like she's kind of going that through that right now with like the dude she's dating. And I talked about it already with um my dude on the first date. Like he brought it up. um That's the thing he like was like not positive. He wanted kids or he wants kids or whatever, which I respect because I don't think I think it's dating in your 30s. You're just like, all right, let's fucking get this over with real quick. Well, that yeah, but I know, but then there has been day dating like that since I was 21. Yeah, but there has been dates where we haven't talked about it. yeah And it you know what I mean, where it just goes on to, I feel like I asked Joe a bunch of questions, but I also feel like when he decided to call me his girlfriend out of fucking nowhere, I was, that's when I got like pretty serious. And I was like,
00:41:11
Speaker
not your girlfriend like i honestly like made him sign like essentially a contract like i was like here's some things up front but like you you need to not you both need to be aware that we're a pool in a i have no relationship title i didn't approve and also i needed to have things answered like i was telling him like one of my big things is I didn't want to live in Oakland because he's from Oakland, he loves Oakland and his family is still there. Fuck your hometown. But I think that it's too, like I was telling him like it's too expensive with all the, like it's like California taxes and that like the part of California I don't even like. So I was explaining all these things to him like, hey. I don't want the bay either. It's like, it's too cold. I'm like, if I want to pay these taxes and these rent and also rent, everything's expensive there. And it's like the hardest to rent there because it's like you have to bring your,
00:41:59
Speaker
the rental agent flowers and be like, I am deserving more than 12 other people applying. I was also sitting in Joe's extremely nice condo that he bought somewhat recently when we first started dating. In Oakland, I'm sitting there, we're watching people get carjacked from his window. Yeah. I'm like, I don't want to pay for this, all this stuff and then like have to live there. My my point being, I know that's like a thing people can run and into down the line. So I was like, okay, I'm getting this out of the way now before we start dating, like take back, retract the girlfriend statement. I'm not going to live in Oakland. Does that bother you? Because if that's going to bother you, then I feel like we shouldn't proceed because it's just like not happening.
00:42:38
Speaker
yeah Now that we've been dating, I'm like, okay, like if we had to, like I obviously moved to Milwaukee, didn't think I was gonna live there either. But like there are some things that I was like, I would prefer not to, you know? Do you ever think about your life in the sense of like, if the version of yourself 10 years ago was watching a video of you today and they had no context and they just like saw you having a boyfriend living in Milwaukee, just like with your dog making dinner, she'd be like, what the fuck
Past Reflections & Dating Humor
00:43:02
Speaker
is going on? Well, that's also, like I was like essentially about to start my blog. I was about to start like my blog almost 10 years ago. yeah like It's funny because I did everything I wanted to do, but I never thought I'd be here, right? Though we'll only be in Milwaukee for it until like September or October Depending on when the playoffs in but also we're moving we're going to look at houses. That's my one of my life updates right now We're gonna go get houses in South Florida. Love So baby, yeah, I mean doi duh
00:43:31
Speaker
But anyways, I got all that stuff out of the way the second I knew it was gonna be serious. yeah You know what I mean? yeah But I don't think when I first met Jo, I didn't think that we would be like together. I just don't think my head was there. Yeah, well you didn't think you'd be with anyone, so. Yeah, I did think I was gonna buy my sperm to talk about this. Have you ever had like the worst first date of all time? like Do you have like an infamous experience where you're like, wow, that was genuinely horrible? Or was it like? Well, I talked about the one-handed guy on your podcast. Oh, yeah. The guy was one hand. That was funny. Well, you didn't even use't go on a date.
00:44:08
Speaker
Yeah, that so I guess that doesn't count. Do you want to give a little context real quick just for people who didn't listen to that episode maybe? Oh yeah, like just to sum it up really quickly, I met a guy on um I think the league or something and He and I had great banter. We were going back and forth. um We had set a time and a place for the date. And then he said, hey, by the way, I only have one arm. So like if that freaks you out, like we shouldn't go out. And then I thought he was joking. So I said, yeah, like I'm starting to feel pretty sick. And and then I just like went and got ready for the date. Never told him I was joking. Because you know why would you ever why would you ever fold like that?
00:44:53
Speaker
um And then I was in the Uber on the way to the date and he was like wait and I texted him and I was like 10 minutes away and he was like wait, I thought you canceled, you said you were feeling sick. And I was like, oh no, I was joking. Cause like you were joking. And he was like, I wasn't joking. And I was like, Oh, okay. Okay. Um, and then you just, did you actually go to the place and get a drink or anything? Or did you just go home? No, I just like, I went home and I was like so fucking pissed. I put on makeup. I'm not as good as, um, solo dates as you because normally I'm just like, I can just like save my money and like,
00:45:32
Speaker
eat a frozen pizza and all of that. I love to spend money on myself. I'm obsessed with spending money on myself. I like when Joe spends money on me. I like when I spend money on me. I just kind of want everyone to be spending money on me. If you want to Venmo me, you can. Wait, I did think of a good first date I had kind of recently. It was like after tour. I feel like I told you guys about this. I can't remember, but it was after tour and I was so horny because there was just no fucking time or opportunity to hook up with anyone on tour. and I went on a date with this guy and it was like one of those just like dark sexy old bars and we like sat in the corner I don't know he said something about like yeah I don't like really like 69ing or something like that and I decided to like take on a bit that I was like all for 69ing and or just like and so I basically was like
00:46:28
Speaker
Well, like, what if there's like a purpose? And he's like, what do you mean? And I'm like. one sailing there's Also, it's so christened to be talking about 60, 90 on a first date. It's like never come up. and I was like, well, like, don't you think there's a purpose sometimes? Like, what if I want to ride your face while I'm sucking your dick? Oh, that's not. um When I say I was going to sleep with a guy on a first date, I didn't think that was good. What if I just want to narrate exactly the freaky things? And then he goes to kiss her and she like turns her teeth. She's like, yeah. Here's the thing. You love to be confusing. You would do that. like I'm not that kind of girl. No, you guys, I did something even more confusing. I tried to fuck them in the bathroom.
00:47:17
Speaker
I didn't feel like dealing with the logistics of going to my house and I obviously didn't want to go to his. And um so I was like, should we fuck in the bathroom? And then so we like both went to the bath. Like we were like eating face. Well, we were like eating face in the booth. who I don't like eating face. I don't like when you say it that.
00:47:40
Speaker
my There's no other way to put it. It was not, it was not making out. and I was like, visually, visibly uncomfortable. she's like She's like, cut all of this. Cut it. ah But yeah, I basically ah was like, let's go to the bathroom. And then the door didn't lock behind us. And there was like multiple stalls. And I was like, god, like maybe we shouldn't. So then we did go to my house. Wait, so you guys literally both walked into the bathroom together. And you're like, ah, we can. here Well, we were like making out for a second and I was like, I'm sorry. I can't fucking do this without the door locking. I know this was my idea. professor and So then we did go to my house and I literally just basically used his face. So you guys did 60. Yeah. Like to finish up the bit. So you guys, it started when you guys started talking about it and then you guys, were you going to six tonight in the bathroom?
00:48:43
Speaker
No, we were just gonna like fuck really quick. Cause I was like, you know what? I don't think I've ever like fucked in the bathroom. Sometimes I just like play games with myself and, or I'll just like think of something. If I'm like, oh wait, wait, I fuck. I didn't like clean the house before I went out. Then I'll be like, Oh, well the solution to that is to fuck in the bathroom. Right. And then when that didn't work, I was like, the solution is to not care that my house isn't clean. Yeah. And then I just, wrote his face into mourning. I hate the phrases that you're using. Like, I think that writing face
00:49:23
Speaker
I just, I just don't. There's nothing I hate. I don't think I like that. More than 69ing. We're not running out of time. No. We don't have like a limited amount of time where we have to do both at the same time. And it's like, I can't focus. And then it's just, it's just whoever thought of it. It's honestly, I have to be able to focus and relax enough to even just be in my own body. It's like, oh, sorry, I wanted to relax for two seconds. I have to like now do this other thing. No. I know. I honestly feel the same way about 69ing. But let me guess, because you hated it, then you had to like... Yeah. Well, because he said something, he said he didn't like it. Yeah, because he said something, I was like, I'm going to be an annoying bitch. You want to come to my house right now? Yeah. I'm like, I'm going to be an annoying bitch and try to say that. And now he's probably saying, walking around saying that he likes it.
00:50:10
Speaker
But also the best part of that is that I wasn't, I couldn't even fully be an annoying bitch because I sexualized it so much. So it like probably confused him on so many levels. Cause he's like, she's arguing me with me, but she's trying to make me horny. right like what if i want writing been here for seven and a half minutes yeah she's like you he's like you're on your first hot topic yeah you ordered a hot topic you' not here yet a yeahers
00:50:43
Speaker
god I like the idea of drinking a hot toddy on a first day. I like it the idea of drinking a drink that's like Not like other girls. Oh my. I know. I don't know the exact same as other girls. Yeah, but not in like a picky way. I know what you mean like different. Yeah, yeah. Well, you just want to throw them off a little bit. I do actually live for like making everyone confusing. I did not do that for attention. I did that because I love hot toddies. And you guys know that about me. No, I know. I know. You do love those. Can confirm. Was authentic, unfortunately. I'll tell you. I do things for attention, but that wasn't it. Yeah. Well, you were obsessed with 16. I think for attention. Yeah. But like talk about committing to a bit.
00:51:19
Speaker
I mean... Huh. Invited into my my house and showed them what I meant. That you didn't even mean? ah He actually meant the opposite. yeah afterwards But you were like, what if I meant this? After that, I just start laughing. I'm like, ha ha. I don't even like. six yeah Gotcha. What the fuck are you? What are we talking about right now? He's like, what? Directly after. Hey, hey. I didn't even like that. I didn't even like that.
00:51:55
Speaker
like one second of
00:52:01
Speaker
oh god you we do think which is what i love that are Like only be funny to you in a moment it's like You're doing a bit with yourself and not even not anybody into about know yeah like yeah, then I did this bit For myself
00:52:25
Speaker
My god, I know I need everyone to go on a first date and just confuse the fuck out of someone like You don't have to go the Kristen route, but I just want to hear like can if you are really What are some things that we'll just switch up like personalities for a sec just like talk not like talk one way yeah or like like i accent inspiration strikes and Like you want to just take on a full other personality what the Because also, how funny would that be if you do meet your husband that way? Because he just like gets it, and you're just like, yeah, the first thing you want to do with your mom is somebody's psychotic. She was a psycho, and I had to tell her I knew she was lying. Yeah. It's like the first three minutes just come up with a completely different personality, and then right after, I'd be like, I just lied the entire time. No, just laugh. You Gotcha, you little dork. What's up? You little dork.
00:53:22
Speaker
Wait, do you guys- Can we get that to people right now? i Never were done with this? Yeah. Wait, do you guys remember the episode of That's a Raven? Where every time Eddie was digging the scroll where every time he would make a joke, she would punch him really hard in the arm. I do! Oh my god, yes I do! And he started like wearing stuff. He would start making the joke and then decking. That goes so good. Yeah, that unlocked a meme. Do we have any other first date thoughts? I know, I'm trying to think of something good. I feel like I've never been on a really terrible one. I've just had like in mid ones where I ghost a map. I ghost like 90% of my first dates. I have a rule where if it's just a first date, I'm allowed to ghost, but if it's a second, I have to give a reason. Like, hey, I'm just not really like feeling this romantically, would love to say friends.
00:54:13
Speaker
Oh my God, what did I say like that? I think that it's good to not hype up a first date to yourself or
Managing Expectations & Personal Focus
00:54:20
Speaker
to your friends. Yes. I never show my friends Instagram. I'm like, I'd never see photos of anyone you go on dates with, by the way, dates are so exhausting. And I feel like the blocker is realizing that you have to sit down with someone that you don't know and you may or may not have anything to talk about with. And then you have to explain like your, you can hear it in the mic. Yeah, ah my blocker isn't even and anything like that. My blockers genuinely putting makeup on so that actually is really no literally that's why getting ready Yes, I hate the getting ready process. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I would just be like I have to do it when I have other plans to I Don't want to put on makeup just for a guy
00:54:56
Speaker
Well, I don't want to put on makeup ever, and I don't enjoy the process. like I've been really trying to slow down and enjoy the process of getting ready and doing skincare and like doing makeup, i wish i enjoy but I hate the process. like It has to go on. I'm not going makeup-less. But if someone else could do that for me, I would hope it would. I'm also just not good at it, so I think it just feels like a task that I'm also failing at every single time I make a phone. Sometimes I'm like, okay, bitch, you don't look any better. Yeah. No, it's the worst when you overdo your makeup trying to make it look really good and then you look hideous. That's the worst feeling in the world. And you can tell you're wearing a ton of makeup. Yes, that's the worst. That's really embarrassing. That's embarrassing. Be with seeing. Be with seeing. Well, I have no other rules for first dates. I feel like banging is allowed.
00:55:40
Speaker
Drinking is a lot drinks like have 69 quiet on set. I'm so sorry guys. That was my meter. It's really unprofessional of you Sixty-nining is allowed bathroom fucking lying lying Bits. Bits, yeah. With yourself that you never share with anyone. Also, I would say that this is something that like I kind of didn't realize that I do until my friend pointed it out in New York a couple weeks ago, that I am so aggressively myself at first, because you know how like a lot of people will be like, I'm this like perfect little angel and then like rope you in and be like, I've got you, now I'm gonna show you my crazy.
00:56:24
Speaker
I'm so scared of being like, abandoned and left and like in the inconsistency of like, being in love and then falling out of love and all of that, that I feel like I show my crazy to a to a point where it's like even crazier than I actually am. He's like, I want to show you the worst. He's like, no, you're not telling us anything different. I know. And I was like broken down about it in therapy sometimes. Cause I'm like, I feel like I just like set myself up for a failure and obviously everyone is just going to be like so deterred if I'm like literally being like, But it's like a defense mechanism because I'm like, well, if you do break this barrier, you get this little lovey girl on the other end, but you have to fucking earn it. There's so many people that- So you try to scare them away from it and they stay. It's like, okay, well now I'm like, couldn't start trying to- Yeah, and then I'm like, okay, and now you get the lovely part. Like you saw the crazy.
00:57:23
Speaker
I know I'm actually gonna be a sweet angel but that's because I am like such a fucking softy and like once I like really ride for someone I ride for them yeah and I ride their face yeah yeah well yeah yeah so it's kind of a double entendre when I use it um But yeah, I know that makes sense. I get that. Yeah. But I think it's also like to a fault to where I'm like, oh, that's so weird that like, you know, all my friends like whenever we go out a lot, like people will like love my other friends. And I'm like, oh well, yeah, bitch, because you're literally being insufferable weirdo and like probably don't have makeup on. Well, I don't know what you mean, though, because I feel like every time we go out, you get the most attention. Yeah.
00:58:10
Speaker
I know, but there's sometimes in like friend groups where like, everyone the way yeah which Cause like I've never, I don't think anyone's ever talked to me or paid an over you. um I also am sitting there like, if everyone fucking talks to me, I'm not like light this place on fire. I don't know. I guess just like. i Think you give off a certain vibe like a very I think you have a vibe that attracts men and yeah And some people just don't have that vibe. I don't personally have that vibe me neither ah imon and I Realize have that in some situation iman i realized in our friendship that we have never gone out together and been like that guy's hot
00:58:46
Speaker
never Well, you know what? I see a lot of, like, obviously I'm on lesbian TikTok because it's my favorite thing in the world. yeah where And I hear a lot about um them saying that once they started decentering men from their lives, their lives just got better. yeah And I've realized that I've always naturally decentered men from my life. And I don't know, like, why or how, but, like, Even when all my friends were dating in high school or like having sex, I was like, oh, I don't feel like ready because I just want to be hang out with my friends. And like when I'm married one day, I'm not going to want that I had a boyfriend in my whole high school life and not go into my friendships. Or like when I go out with my friends to like bars and stuff, i've never I've never once had the thought,
00:59:26
Speaker
i might meet a guy tonight and like that could be super i just am like going i don't they like don't exist until i've like allotted intentional time for men to come into my life yeah i feel like men are i'm similar and i feel like men are like a hobby like they're like a fun funny interesting conversation topic to talk about like your dating experience like i love talking about that but i think men have always been like my hobby that I usually get into when I'm like drinking like it's literally Friday 5 p.m. I'm like okay boys I don't even think about it that way it's just more like if I'm with my friends I'm with my friends and there's not like a guy where I'm like oh I need to leave
01:00:04
Speaker
oh yeah i would never really or like, oh, I really want to hook up with, I just, and I think also that's why I might give the energy of like, don't approach me because I'm like, this is not my allotted time to be, when I'm on a first date, that's my time, but like, right otherwise, I remember when I first met Peyton, I had been in a relationship, or no, one of the times we were hanging out, I'd been in a relationship for like a year and she was like, you have a boyfriend? And I was like, yeah, and we live together. I am obsessed with that. I was like, why would I want, she's like, well, you just never talk about, I was like, why would I want to talk about my boyfriend when I'm with my friends? But i he wasn't very involved. He wasn't super involved. He wasn't like, but I'm just not. But not having a part of your identity yeah to where you're referencing them all the time. Yeah. No, there's no like some people around here. I mean, if you ask me a specific question, I did talk about my boyfriend, but I'm not just like going to be talking about him. That's yeah doing my own thing. right You also randomly do that about things like what?
01:00:57
Speaker
Like, I don't know, you're, like the thing I'm thinking of is kind of a buzzkill, but like your aunt dying, or was it your cousin? The thing is, when's the right time to like say something like, like what am I gonna text my group chat? I think that you are like a severe compartmentalizer, like I compartmentalize a lot, and you compartmentalize somehow more than me. But again, it's so Virgo vibe of you, and it's also a Capricorn thing, but I feel like Virgos are even more so. Well, I just, it's like, what am I going to do? Text our group, Chad? Oh, my cousin just, it's like if a thing where if you met, if you, so if I talked to him on the phone on the day that it happened and like, Oh, kind of a bummer. This is what happened. Or like, I have my certain friends. Like I talked to my friend Austin every single day on the, she's the only person I text constantly. We're in a constant stream of communication on the phone all the time. So it was like, when my aunt got sick, I'm like texting Austin like, Oh yeah. So she's like in on it. But it's like, it feels awkward to me to,
01:01:51
Speaker
It wasn't my mom, by the way. But it feels awkward to me to then randomly text our group chat after we're not talking about what's what. We're like, yeah, I'm going to a funeral today. It's like, OK. I don't know. I don't feel the need to bend in that way. It doesn't feel like a release to me. It just feels awkward. I know. But I feel like there was something that day that it could have come up naturally. Because I was over. And you were like, yeah. Because I was at your house. I was at your house. And you were like, yeah, I was at a funeral earlier. And I was like, who's funeral? Like you definitely could have been like, okay, well that was me bringing it up. And now you know it. I have to tell you in advance. Sorry. I don't know. I don't feel the need to like vent in that way. Yeah. Um, about things like that. Like, I don't know. Never. You would never tell us all the details. Like don't need to vent ever.
01:02:42
Speaker
Oh my god. Every day of my life. um So this is the end of the episode. So but so the the the episode's over. Bye. Bye. You're still on. It's so weird. It's so embarrassing. We said said bye. You guys, get off. Like, stop listening. Oh my god, they're still on.