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MOTW Episode 6-1: Dark Master Daddy
156 Plays3 years ago
We return to the adventures of the Sierra Corp with a new chapter of Monster of the Week! Today, a containment breach at Sierra's holding cells awakens our heroes in the middle of the night. Amidst the chaos, Khepri tells Oscar about a fated prophecy, the Dark Master uses Sally to get one step closer to his goals, and Luke has dreams of a somewhat normal life.
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Transcript
Character Introductions and Setup
00:00:02
Speaker
It's that time again, Monster of the Week. I'm fresh off a power nap. Adrian is late at night, so he's got to go sleep advice. But we're going to keep him up all night. Speaking of Adrian, who are you playing, Adrian? I'm playing Oscar Wolfman. He recently discovered his last name is Wolfman. Nice. Was that off camera? Yeah, kind of. He got a notification on his phone on the way home. Then we have Amy playing Who's or Was It?
Identity Crisis: Luke Smith aka Chimichanga
00:00:47
Speaker
What the fuck is going on now did I just play my own audio back
00:01:03
Speaker
It's gonna be my text message tone I thought someone was straight like fucking with me right now like
00:01:18
Speaker
You also got to put that on the couch right now. Okay. Anyway, yeah, David, who are you? Who are you being? Not a wee lacker. You're a goofy goober.
00:01:33
Speaker
not that either we're getting close my fucking brain hurts already my Mexican, uh, well, like, tax mix, uh, dish or whatever I think chimichangas are not actually like a Mexican dish I don't think they're Mexican, yeah, I think they're some amalgamation some bullshit, right? American? alright, so you're- Luke Smith, Luke Smith, Luke chimichanga Smith that's the following chimichanga oh my gosh chimichanga is his alias yeah
00:02:03
Speaker
You're right, it's Tex-Mex, David.
Pop Culture Banter
00:02:07
Speaker
Also, everyone, Oscar Goldman is a $6 million man, in case you didn't know, and Steve French is the name of Bubbles' Bobcat and trailer park boys show. Don't sue us for mentioning your show.
00:02:18
Speaker
And I'm Keppri and then we got, yeah, we gotta skip you. I just always make it a little banter for fans. I was just looking for an opportunity to slip that in. It seemed like as you were building up, I just thought it'd be funny to jump in there. I get it. I get it. Okay. I see what you're doing there. Uh, yeah, then, then, uh, then, uh, this other guy, who was, who's,
Demon Trapping Plot Recap
00:02:37
Speaker
who's Keppri? Who was, who was that? The God of Rejuvenation. Best friends with everyone. He makes all the skincare. Correct.
00:02:48
Speaker
I still like you. Okay, so. We bust a tail. Well, at least if... I wanted you to play the exit from the last one before all this. So that might be a little out of place, but you might have listened to that if we do that that way.
00:03:07
Speaker
A little, a little, uh, what little bit of you seen a little happen. So, uh, we just finished, um, fighting some, uh, regular humans who were trying to steal some, some, uh, collar pieces that were, could be fused together potentially to make a color that could hold a demon or some such inside of a body.
00:03:24
Speaker
which they'll use as an archaic way to keep a demon in when they exorcise them. You know, they need to get fit, the demons. So that was the thing that they did. They did a good job. Job completed. Nobody got hurt. Antonio Rodriguez. But he's just like an NPC, so nobody really cares about him. Sally stole his aimlet. That's why he got hurt, because he couldn't teleport himself or anything. Do any magical women, mumbo jumbo, save himself. So, you know, I hope you feel bad about yourself. Feel bad about that, Sally.
00:03:53
Speaker
Uh, and then, um, otherwise they've been, they've been running on the trail of a pet, but he just kind of been in the background doing shady things and occasionally pestering Capri.
Sally's Dark Transformation
00:04:04
Speaker
Uh, and Capri hates him. Like, man, like you think Capri's a nice guy. He fucking hates, don't you Capri? I'm not a fan. Who do you hate? Apep.
00:04:16
Speaker
Apophis and rectal olds How do I get into that circle? How do I get to the point where Capri hates me you might? It's possible. Oh Yeah, so some other important notes one point Sally got called back to her old creepy home by the dark master where he fed her some drugs and made her almost dead and
00:04:38
Speaker
and thereby welcoming the darkness fully into her self.
Kepri's Cryptic Encounter with Apep
00:04:43
Speaker
She got a little bit weirder. I broke the game and gave her an extra weird she shouldn't have had. I didn't kill my dad though, right? Yeah, you almost did. He's comatose in. He's comatose in the medical facilities of Sierra. Oh yeah, everybody there wants a Sierra.
00:05:00
Speaker
Yeah, I think you like blasted him against the wall or something, and he cracked his head or something. And I decided not to let him be dead. I figured he is fucking dead. Was that the time where Oscar was having trouble with stairs? Yes. That was the time. Him and Luke were having a buddy cup situation. Fucking stairs.
00:05:18
Speaker
Let's see, anything else really important pertinent to my coming up? Yeah, the ending. The ending of the last one, if you just want to throw it in there just to case. Like I was saying, hopefully we split out of place. We put that in front of this now and then put it in. We put that big at the beginning, play some music and then this comes. Would that be too weird?
00:05:35
Speaker
We think it'd be too weird. Just tell everybody what we did. I proofed myself to A-PEP trying to find him. Yeah, at the end, they were driving out of their last job and they saw A-PEP on the side of the road being a little snooty boy, like, showing off like, hey, hey. And Kepri and Luke saw him and they stopped and he was going, though, and Kepri said, ah, I am going to teleport to him, something I haven't tried because I know him, so I can teleport to him. And he did that, and that's where he ended. Yeah. And that was a post-credits scene, so you might not have seen it.
00:06:05
Speaker
Um, so now we do it. We do it every, every movie we make. It's true. You're at merving around. Anyway. Um, cue that music Adam. Okay. It's good to know where I'm putting it.
00:06:55
Speaker
And then I said, uh, and that was really good music. Okay. So, uh, Capri, uh, everybody else is driving and that's pretty boring. So we'll go to Capri. Um, well, no, they stopped. Remember when they stopped and then he disappeared. Yeah. Well, okay. Okay.
Apep's Chaotic Intentions
00:07:08
Speaker
Let's, let's, let's cover that for a second. Luke, uh, Capri just said he's going to go try and find a pep and then he disappears. And what would you do? You got everybody else in the car with you? You got Oscar, you got Sally. Um, and you're in Sacramento where your last job was.
00:07:23
Speaker
Continue continue driving. Oh great. That's boring. So What kind of music guys Luke I'm bored Whatever's on my discover weekly on Spotify, it's all seal Just discover discover weekly really sucks
00:07:48
Speaker
Yeah, so you guys drive back to Sierra cuz I'm assuming you drove there originally not gonna helicopter you from Arizona to Santa Barbara, so in a little road trip back Top very five minutes for Sally and Oscar to pee hmm Luke has a bladder of steel so he's fine Ten gallon bladder anyway, uh
00:08:11
Speaker
Kepri you teleport and you find yourself in I Wasn't I didn't want to be massed for God, but I was thinking of rush hour whenever I take a chance as much as we're going But you teleport you find yourself in times not a time square master is no massed square garden That's the that's the park right the big park in New York Central Park like an arena or like we're much of likes of antenna now you're in Central Bork and You see
00:08:40
Speaker
Some people are like, whoa, what the fuck? Whoever, man, it's New York, fuck it. They don't care. Some guy's like, hey, watch, you made me almost lose my hot dog. I'm sorry. I'm going to tell my cousin. Hey, watch out, my cousin works for the big bad corporation. He sends him lots of that for you or something. Oh, well, don't do that. I've got my hands full. The mafia, I mean, the mafia. Leave me alone. Bye. All right. Bye, Baldy. Goodbye, person with hair.
00:09:09
Speaker
Was it my cousin? No, it was, it was, it was great. Uh, he's probably like, that's like, you're pretty much your family with Greg and his family. Uh, anyway, yeah, it looked, uh, not Luke, it kept bringing you see in front of you. There's a pep sitting there. He's got like, uh, he's got his, his little, whatever suit he wears, like a dark suit. And he's sitting there on the, uh, cherries, a little, he has a little bag of, uh, bread. He's like.
00:09:37
Speaker
Uh, how did Megan talk? I fucked up the way I wanted to originally, so I was going to be fucking fucked up again probably. It was very like, uh, snakey and low and raspy. Sit down, my friend. I'm just feeding the birds. Um, he's throwing little pieces of bread. Do you also want me to feed the birds? I feel awkward that I didn't bring any bread. We can share bread. It's bread. I don't mind.
00:10:06
Speaker
Yeah, reach into the bag. You're not supposed to feed birds bread! You're spreading bad messages, Justin! He's chaos! He's chaos! Everyone feed birds rice! That's even worse! I know, that's the point. Can I- Yeah, you get a really-
00:10:28
Speaker
Disclaimer don't feed birds bread. Apparently don't feed them rice. Definitely don't feed them rice What was that David can I text Capri and be like I don't know are you a stop later at a gas station or something?
00:10:40
Speaker
no i'm on the fuck i'm driving and texting i don't care well i'll tell you when i'll tell you when you get okay slip doesn't care okay sure roll me uh roll me a cooler make sure you don't fuck it up it's the fucking desert man whatever you're still you're still standing barber it's been five seconds there's still traffic in the desert oh fuck no i got a 13 because he's like he's like driving with his knee he's steering with his knee he's got both hands text him yeah all right what are you what are you saying you can you can uh do a secret type group if you want to
00:11:11
Speaker
The text is gonna say where you went with it. What are you?
Road Trip to Sierra
00:11:26
Speaker
Excuse me. Sorry. I gotta take this one moment. No problem. I hate to be rude. It's not a call. So No, it was just one. I'm a weed whacker and then I got
00:11:39
Speaker
You're an important man, I understand. Check it away. I'm not with his bread. He throws a bread at his little lady in the back of the head. Rude. Hey, where are we, by the way? You don't know this place, Kepri? I'm the one who's been away for a millennium. Central Park. I'm just kidding. Central Park. That's a meme. Central Park? Have you ever heard of memes?
00:12:07
Speaker
You mean Mimi's? Yeah, I've started checking them out. Well, anyway, yes, we are in Central Park. And what sort of state is that in? A shitty one, I think. I'm just kidding, Kevin. It's not based in New York. Oh, okay. I text that back to Luke. Central Park, New York. Question mark. Oh, fuck. Well, I guess we got to catch a flight out there tomorrow.
00:12:37
Speaker
Road trip! Road trip! I don't relay that information. So what was that, Lukey? I don't relay that information to them. Okay. Sally just blorts out, road trip. Yeah, we're on a road trip. I mean, we're on a road trip back to Arizona, yeah.
00:13:01
Speaker
Road trip! And because fucking Capri's gone, I got the back seat to myself. Yeah. We're still in your little booster seat, but you're like kicking your legs around. Yeah. Yep. Mm-hmm. I remember the desert jack rabbit. It doesn't like travelers who are loud-mouthed and talking all the time. So we don't want to run into trouble out here. So we need to keep her down, OK?
00:13:31
Speaker
Is that how you control Sally? You tell her there's a jackrabbit? You know, we're like, whatever, the jackals. Okay, dad, thanks. Thanks, dad. Yeah. Okay, yeah, so anyway, you're there with, uh, what's his face? Apep in the park. He's like, come on, Capricit. Um, I'm not, you're always so standoffish.
00:13:56
Speaker
Well, I would rather stand, you know, save seats for other people who need them, you know? Ah, fair enough. I did put a thumbtack on there for hoping you would sit on it. Yeah, you didn't really try to hide it too well, so... Dude, fucking beat this guy up. I was counting on you being very dumb and he flicks it off. Oh, someone's going to step on that. They walked their dogs here.
00:14:22
Speaker
Captain, I just threw bread at an old woman. Why do I care? Well, that is true. You know, it's New York. I guess some people around here don't really care if you hit them with bread. Look, that man's already picked it up and he's putting it in his bag of other things he's picked up off the street. What a strange land this is. I really like this place. It's very, very unpredictable. Right up my alley. Yeah, I'm kind of uncomfortable. What are you doing here? Oh, well, I...
00:14:49
Speaker
I saw the little you catching a sight of me and I thought, maybe, maybe, I've always, every time I've seen you lately, Capri, I've just made sure, even before, I've always made sure maybe Capri might come after me. So I stopped somewhere first before I go to wherever I'm doing next. And I figured Capri's not going to try to go into a fight with me here. There's a bunch of people around. He won't try and beat me up. Anyways, that's what we are. There's a lot more people here than I,
00:15:17
Speaker
I really thought you were going to lure me to like some darkened room or an alley or the desert, but this is not what I was expecting. I'm just inviting you right now, Kebri. I actually was only just precaution. I didn't expect you to follow me this time as you never have before, but here you are. Yeah. Yes, I'm so excited. You know me, I'm always excited to see you, my friend. You have quite a bit of fun, don't we?
00:15:45
Speaker
Sure. Yeah, so what's your end game here? Hey, Pep. I mean, are you just going to keep trying to keep toying around with the people of Earth until ultimately one of us dies? I mean, what is this? Well, Capri, I've been away for a very long time and exile out amongst the stars and all that business. Well, I...
00:16:07
Speaker
First of all, I was letting off a little steam. Secondly, I was kind of feeding off the chaotic energy, getting my strength back, getting used to everything again. And as you said, yes, yes, it is getting quite boring now. I'm glad you came and asked me, Capri, this is really forcing me to... I will move along, Capri, I will. You meet the strangest people when you're in exile, Capri.
00:16:30
Speaker
You discover the strangest things and I am just very excited to, I guess I wouldn't say a friend. I'm going to bring a, I want to bring a friend here, Kepri. And I feel like it's going to do everything I've ever wanted. I think I can achieve it, Kepri. Oh, and then what, then what happens? You get what you want and then what? Then you'll be bored all over again.
00:16:52
Speaker
Maybe, but, you know, at least I'll be happy with, you know, things being chaotic and all the chaotic energies rustling around and everything. Have you not seen this place we're standing in? There's someone defecating in the park right over there. This place is already chaotic as you could possibly want it. That's barely a tickle for me, Keppery. I wish I want everything, the whole universe, to be back to the way it was before we all ruined it. You and your...
00:17:21
Speaker
God, people shaping things, making order, big bangs and all that. Well, what does that have to do with, I mean, are you looking for a fight?
00:17:35
Speaker
I mean, we can just do this right here. We can go somewhere back in Egypt and just, you know, best one wins and you can have all the chaos you want. I don't, I don't know. I don't want to just come out and fight you right over. No, the last thing I did, I was hoping to maybe get that collar that way I could, I could secretly somehow sneak it onto your neck and you wouldn't be able to leave this body you're in. And I could turn into a big giant snake and just eat you up.
00:17:59
Speaker
Or, you know, just do crazy things and then you wouldn't be able to stop. But, you know, that failed. You got me there. So, you know, anyway, I didn't ask you. I didn't ask you here, Kepper. You came here to see me. What's going on with you?
00:18:16
Speaker
Well, um, I feel that, um, Sierra, you know what?
Prophecy and Sally's Dark Connection
00:18:22
Speaker
It's a long story. All I know is that I'm worried that you and Sally are going to collide in a very awful way. And I don't intend to let that happen. Yes. Yes. I, I was always a little bit dismissive of your prophecy, Keppru. I was told of it, but I, I've, I've, I've, from what I've seen in, in Santa Barbara, she's a, something's different about her.
00:18:45
Speaker
Yes, Quides, and I'm still trying to get to the bottom of it, and I don't want you anywhere near her. Well, um... Sorry for that, Capri. You're a little... Your peep, your... The ones above you seem to think that that's the way to go, so...
00:19:01
Speaker
Me, a little girl, we're going to have to face off. I don't want to say that again, but me and your little friends, and oh, that's a forensic employee. I'm very interested as an official of chaos. I'm very interested in your friend Oscar, who was outside of the prophecy. Yes, I find that he will be quite an interesting figure to follow. I'm actually quite stumped as to where he falls into it as well.
00:19:28
Speaker
It was an unexpected turn for me. Yes, yes, indeed. I'm very excited about it all. Anyway, Kimberly, is there anything else you need to know? Otherwise, I'm going to jet off. I just hung around just in case you might stop by, and you did, and here we are. Where does this all end? That's my final question. Where does this all end?
00:19:50
Speaker
We're all on a collision course at some point, and I just want to know. And I know you're going to tell me, because you like the fun. Yeah, I do. But I can't tell you the exact location I plan to go, Kepri, because then you'll be right there waiting for me. But I can tell you that, Kepri, we will meet again on the precipice of change. And he's going. What an idiot. And I guess I'll... Yeah, and all the gods don't.
00:20:21
Speaker
I guess I'll go and teleport back at some point. I think I'm going to go and just. I don't know, maybe talk to some people just at random and then while you go jet back to whatever they're doing and then I'll teleport back to them. I think he would explore the city a little bit just to kind of get his bearings in case he has to come back here. Let me roll a cool and a sharp, see what you get up to a cool and a sharp. Yeah.
00:20:50
Speaker
I haven't rolled in anything in a long time. All right, here's a cool 11. That's pretty good. And the sharp. Oh, a big fat five. Oh, okay. You step in that guy's poop. Ah, my shoes. I was saving that for later. Well, I just kind of like trying to wipe it on the grass and near him. Here you go. What kind of things you trying to do?
00:21:22
Speaker
Honestly, it would just be, I think, again, just because Keppri, you know, can only teleport to places he's been, like, I think he would probably just like take maybe like a half hour, an hour and just kind of like jet around the city and just kind of get his bearings in case he doesn't have to come back here, maybe see what they have in case he needs to come and,
Kepri's New York Adventure
00:21:38
Speaker
you know, you know how he does, he blips somewhere, grabs something he needs, comes back, you know, just kind of like surveying things.
00:21:44
Speaker
You got a good cool you you find some nice place you didn't you weren't super sharp So you don't like go to all like the big-name places you find this news like what kind of walk around you see as borrow best pizza place in New York Okay, classic pizza classic New York pizza right there. Um sure sure sure and you know, just some generic kind of stuff But yeah, nothing too crazy. Yeah, okay. I'm just gonna try to come back to it later. That's okay. Cool. Cool. Yeah, that's it. I'm done
00:22:10
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. Uh, so yeah, you guys, you go where are you going to teleport back to the car or are you going to wait? Like just go to Sierra and wait for them. I would just teleport to wherever Luke is. Cause that's who I talked to last. Um, roll me a weird. Oh, really? Okay. Nine.
00:22:27
Speaker
Okay. Uh, you, you kind of smack your face off to like the, the seat behind him. Like, but you land in your, you land in the seat in the back seat. If you've got really bad, it's going to make you land in his lap. Yeah. You kind of smack your face off because you were focusing on him. So you got a little too close, smack your face on the back of the seat on his head rest. So Luke, so you just, you just feel a whack in the back of your head. And then you smell Capri's deodorant old spice every time I'm in a stroke. Am I even a stroke right now?
00:22:57
Speaker
I know, are you fucking all right, Luke? I smell something and here's something. Oh, it's Capri. Go get away, get off, it's my seat! I gave Sally a big warm hug. Sally, I've missed you. Have you been this time, Capri?
00:23:25
Speaker
Well, I mean I text Luke, I'm sure he told you No, I don't think so Yeah, he went to New York I'm assuming that Capri not Capri, but our brother boy would not hang around so You know, I just want to know if he was like on earth, you know, so Yeah, hey Justin real quick he said he was gonna be at the precipice of change is that what he said? Yeah, okay
00:23:52
Speaker
Uh, yeah. Um, he was feeding birds. Um, and I, I've never been to central park and the whole town is so weird. I don't know why he wouldn't just stay there, but he told me that we're going to meet him again on the precipice of change, whatever the hell that means. I raised my hand. Yes. Yes. You, yes. You at the first, what does precipice mean?
00:24:20
Speaker
Uh, like the, like the, the, the, the highest points of something, uh, or like the edge of something, depending on how you use it in a sentence. All right. So the edge of change, perhaps whatever that means. All right. Anybody know what that means? Sally, have you ever heard of the precipice of change? Uh, I can, I can try and use dark past and see. Sure.
00:24:48
Speaker
Mm-hmm. It's probably not a location but like some time Well, maybe it's a book or event What's this? We're gonna stand on the book All right, so she you have to roll weird to see what you what you know for those listening at home So it's a question she can ask Yeah, especially you're gonna ask what's the precipice of change?
00:25:17
Speaker
And either one, no, I was going to ask, do I know of it? Who, who could, who do I know who could help us right now? So do I know any scholars or have I read about any.
00:25:29
Speaker
Um, people with my seven year old, how old am I? I don't know. I forget who knows. I was eight years, I'm eight years old. So probably like, have my, have my demonic picture books ever given me any kind of information about researchers who would know what this is? Um, no, but you feel pretty sure that big daddy dark master would know about it.
00:25:56
Speaker
or would it be able to help you? Fake Jack? Well, I think my dark master probably knows about these things. I mean, he knows about everything. You know, he's good at that stuff. I'm going to pull out my salamander and just sort of like, you know, kids play with toys, just like stuff, like shove him in Capri's face and look like he likes you. He's giving you a kiss because you're terrible.
00:26:24
Speaker
Mr. Jack, why do you think I kept reading? Oh, I hate him. He's a piece of shit. Yeah, exactly. Fellows, what do you guys think of asking? I don't know how I feel about asking another dark presence about these sorts of things. And can we trust it? No, we can't. Because I think like made Sally, you know, go into some alternate dimension and try to kill her father or whatever. So like,
00:26:53
Speaker
I don't know. Not really feeling, talking to a fucking... We were in an alternate dimension. We were in a basement. There's a difference. But it could be spit the same. Can we go through a portal? Excuse me, didn't we go through a fucking portal? It was a portal in the basement that just led to more basement.
00:27:14
Speaker
Yeah. Hey, buddy, I know. I had trouble working in and out of there. All right. Sally, tell me. Shut up. This is me doing. Sally. Shut up. You guys are all dumb. Just shut up.
00:27:28
Speaker
All right, whatever. All right. So the press was a change might not be a location, guys. And I just think it might be like an event that like some kind of major event that's going to change the world. Maybe like an election. How long do we try to ask Google to this? We could. All right. Everything. Let's go. What did you say? Tell us no idea, Sally. You guys are all dubbies. You're dubbies and you're dub.
00:28:01
Speaker
All right. Anyways, ask her if you want to Google that real quick. Yes. OK, Google. Oh, sorry. Googling precipice of change. Pull out my Android phone. And now Google, what is the precipice of time? Product change. Change of time. Change of time. You see a definition for precipice?
00:28:26
Speaker
Um, oh, actually, what was that? What was that shitty? Uh, like Wiki, like monster. We can say that we made a lot of time. Oh, what was that? It was like cryptid something or whatever. He had to change his, uh, his domain name. Uh, he sees now, um, monster, monster of the Wiki. That's, that's good. That's good. We got to save that at that ain't already a thing. We got to get that domain.
00:28:52
Speaker
And a very steep rock face or cliff, especially a tall one. See, mine says the steep shear face of a cliff or crag. B, the cliff or crag itself. Two. One L and a 1A, 1B, and a 2A. A precarious situation. Ooh. A precarious situation of change. Nothing pops up from the monster or the wiki either. So yeah, sorry.
00:29:22
Speaker
Just maybe I didn't say Oscar. Maybe a turn of phrase. He was just I don't think I really find anything useful. Also, I'm not quite sure if I wrote precipice correctly. Oh, yeah, it's it's got two C's in it. It's a very tricky word. All right. Correct you. And then it'll be like, did you mean this? And then, yeah, you clicked it. So easier for your plan. Yeah. All right. Like a peps an asshole. He's just being cryptic because he's an asshole. So. Fuck it. We just let's just wait for the next go in.
00:29:53
Speaker
Oh, should we just go and find him and just? Yeah, I would like to just go and end him, but I just I don't want him to get near Sally. All right, here, take my gun. Hello, I'm Sally. You don't get a choice where I go, bucky boy. I'm Sally. I don't know if I want to go talk to people. I'm going to go talk to people. You can't stop me. But I can stop a pep.
00:30:20
Speaker
from coming near you. Look how good that's gone for you lately, huh? I'm sure you can, buddy. I've only not attacked him because I fear he'll kill many others in the process. Uh-huh. Yeah, uh-huh. Sure, sure, sure. OK, so you guys kind of made it bigger.
Sally's Hex Plan
00:30:39
Speaker
And Sally, in your head again, you hear, Sally, listen. Are you listening? Stop talking to that guy. I got you. I got you. Listen, here's the thing.
00:30:49
Speaker
How well do you think you could get to the base of the infirmary, like the hidden section where they put your dad? Do you think I can trust you with getting there? Look, Mr. Joey, hey, do you think if I like fake being sick that they would like send me there? Because, you know, if you eat...
00:31:09
Speaker
If you chew up a bunch of apples and then you put milk in your mouth and you sit there for a couple minutes and then you pretend to throw up, it looks like throw up. So if I did that, would that work? Maybe, but you're eight and I really wish you were older, but I feel like you're going to throw up when you do that. So why don't you just text yourself and actually make yourself sick and then they'll put you there.
00:31:33
Speaker
Oh, you mean like Secret Hex myself? I could do that, yeah. Should I do that now? No, wait till you get there. Not like right when you get there, because then they're going to be suspicious, but... Oh, okay. So like in the middle of the night, just like make a bunch of blinging noises and screaming noises, and then the fake throw up, and then they come in, and I'm covered in oils. You hear everything you're saying. Shit, whispering! Shut up! She can think to her. He's in her head, Nosh, because you can think to him.
00:31:59
Speaker
Oh, okay. Oh, is that what she's doing? Okay. I thought he was just talking. I was thinking she was just thinking. After she accepted him as her lord and savior, she... I also have telepathy. Like, I've had telepathy for a while, so... Actually, Sally, I just remember they'll still detect your magic when you use it in the place. So maybe use it right before you get in there, and if you can figure out how to make a delay in the effect a little bit.
00:32:29
Speaker
And then, you know, once you're in there for a little bit, you know, get sick and, uh, don't ever play it. You know, actually I see your little kid just be like, no, I want to go play. Don't take me to the hospital or the infirmary. All right. And then you just, you know, and then like pass out, make it like you don't want to go there. Yeah. If you want to, I guess. All right. Um, yeah, that sounds good. And, uh, yeah, we're from there. Cool. All right. TTFN.
00:32:58
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And then I saw a sibaro, which was... it smelled delightful in there. Did you get any? Uh-huh. Did I get any? Did you get any? No, I just smelled it. Okay. Uh... You should probably just displace some time. Yeah, I'll take you there. I can just teleport us now. I can teleport us to any sibaro you want. They all look the same. Yeah, they're all the same building.
00:33:28
Speaker
Yeah, malls are weird. Anything else important you guys want to talk about while you're driving there? Would you like to appear at Sierra? Not literally. We're taking us, Lucas, back at Sierra. Yeah, it's definitely going to road trip. Going home. Maybe Sierra can help you find things. Who knows? They haven't really been on the hunt for APEP. Or have to. It's true.
00:33:55
Speaker
there's always best debt but you know i already talked to her about it so you know i gotta figure i need to wait on that a little bit maybe like i'm calling a lot of favors lately so try not to try not to abuse it i mean she is tickling your underling as far as your powers are concerned your ability is concerned you got her from it's true but you know kepri wants to have a good work-life balance with his you know associate and doesn't want to you know
00:34:21
Speaker
you know, wants to have a good working relationship with best at that's all. So, you know, she's already trying to triangulate his position and check them out or whatever. I just have to trust that she's doing her work and maybe she'll come talk to me for once. Maybe. Okay. So you guys pull up to, uh, to Sierra front door. I'm going to try and cast a delayed spell here. Oh yeah. You have to do it. That's right.
00:34:49
Speaker
Where would you pull up would you pull you out up to the main building? Would you go to you like the apartment so you could drop everybody off and lives there? Yeah, I'm going to the apartment. I'm falling into where I parked right car and then kidding out. Okay Have a long drive and what your heck so
00:35:07
Speaker
So hex is when you cast a spell with used magic as well as the normal list of effects. You can also prove from the following. So I want the normal part portion to be a delay. If I can, um, delay it by like six hours. And then the actual hex is, um, like a magical pneumonia or something.
00:35:35
Speaker
would just so well no pneumonia doesn't give you boils does it uh chicken pox no magical magical chicken pox okay um magic chicken pox that hurt chicken i never had chicken pox as a kid but they hurt right they're they're painful they're mostly itchy they're mostly they're very yeah they're very itchy and shingles is painful yes
00:35:59
Speaker
Dave had shingles. Okay. So yeah, not David, Dave. Um, maybe David did. I don't know. Uh, so yeah, like some weird magical chicken pox shingles amalgamation that kicks in six hours from now. Oh my. Okay. Are you going to be really uncomfortable? Yeah. You could have just made yourself like throw up or something, but you fucking run for it. I have to, I have to prove to the dark master that I'm good at this.
00:36:26
Speaker
He's like, he's like in your brain hearing what you're thinking of doing. He's like, why would you? Well, whoever. Also, because it's my magic, I would like because I rolled a 10, I would like the ability to like turn it on and off. So once I'm in the infirmary, I can just turn off the chicken box. That's fair. OK, great. OK, yeah, that's fine. OK, so you guys pull up to the apartments and looks like everybody get the fuck out, go to your home.
00:36:56
Speaker
Yeah, sometime. I guess. Or he just fucks right off. He doesn't say anything to you guys. He's like, I'm going to bed. What do you do, Luke? You pull up to that apartment? And then what? I'm going to get out of the car and say, see you guys. I'm going to bed. Peace. And peace out. Because it was like an eight-hour drive or some shit. Yeah, it was a long way. It was like a 12-hour drive. It's like daytime now. I don't know.
00:37:26
Speaker
And Luke didn't go to a toilet a single time. He did not. He'd have to go in there and just stand in front of the toilet for like 20 minutes. Takes me 20 minutes just to get going sometimes. I'm like, oh, old age am I right? Yep, turning 33. Everything starts to dry up, dry up down there. Yeah.
00:37:49
Speaker
I think I would when you're done with Luke I would I think I would try to pull Oscar aside for a second to chat with them whenever they're done Well, that's fine. So they sound like Luke went straight to bed. So Yeah, so you're good to go Oscar may I may I have a word I'm sure Just about
Kepri's Concerns About Sally
00:38:08
Speaker
go home, but I have some time for you. Oh, yeah pause that Sally. What are you doing? Oh I'm gonna go back into my my little
00:38:18
Speaker
bedroom apartment that they gave me. And I assume they did not allow me to have a kitchen of some kind. I'm imagining that normally I'm sure someone's probably supposed to check in with, check you in and that way they can have like your little guardian, uh, like tend to you. But, uh, that Luke, well, I mean, he gave me the one who makes me take my medicine. So like your household guardian. I imagine he probably, it probably gets a new one every week because he probably scared everyone off. But, uh,
00:38:49
Speaker
So you walk, you walk in, I guess, but you probably don't check into the desk. So you just keep walking. And then, uh, eventually I think it's big fucking lug comes up behind. He's like, say Ellie, say Ellie trying, trying. Hey, Hey, I'm a new, I'm a new representative. I know. I know. I'm a new guardian. My name's Jeff. Not don't confuse me with Jeff Tyson. I know too many Jeffs. Are you trying Jeff? Are you vegan? Jeff? My name's Todd. My name's Todd.
00:39:18
Speaker
I thought it was Jeff. Well, you had a big problem with that. So now my name's Todd and I'm a vegetarian. I'm a vegetarian. Wait, your name is Todd. No, it's just Todd. Todd. Yeah.
00:39:39
Speaker
My mom tried writing Tad, which I'm thankful my name isn't Tad, but she was going to call me Tad, but she was on drugs, you know, all the pain medications from the birth. And my dad wasn't around. So my name's Todd with 1D. All right, Todd, let's go. Todd. I'm just going to turn around and keep walking. Okay. Oscar, I mean, Keppery and Oscar, back to you. What did you say was German?
00:40:09
Speaker
Todd, the front D means death in German. Death or death? Death, like dying. Oh, death, like dead. I knew that. Todd, don't worry. He's got to catch a case of Todd. Oscar, what you got going on? Oscar, yeah, I was just...
00:40:36
Speaker
And I kind of like put my arm around him and kind of like walk a little bit farther away from the apartments and stuff, just because I kind of want to have a private conversation with him. Oscar, listen, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor. What kind of favor?
00:40:51
Speaker
Oh, well I know this is going to seem kind of like an obvious request, but one that I really want you to take seriously. I really need you to help me keep an eye on Sally in particular when we, as we get closer to Apep, I'm just, I have this awful feeling that something terrible is going to happen if they're in the same place for too long together.
00:41:13
Speaker
And I don't know enough about this dark master, and I fear that she lets you get much closer to her than she does me. Maybe because I'm fluffy. I think perhaps she probably even trusts you. Maybe because you're fluffy, yeah. And I'm hairless. Yeah. That's a big opposite. Yes, I have not a lick of hair on me, but you've got a ton of hair to lick. So I'm wondering if you would help me. Maybe I could give you some of my hair.
00:41:40
Speaker
Make him a gross wig. Well, I mean that could be something we can discuss down the line, but right now I'm just hoping that perhaps you could just, you know, she trusts you and perhaps you can
00:41:56
Speaker
I don't know. I'm not saying to deceive her because I don't want you to have to lie. But I mean, you know, just just try to assure her that we're on her side, you know, and make sure that she errs on the side of well, closer to the side of good than the side of darkness, you know. Yes. So I just I know she trusts you more. And I was just really hoping that we could step up our game a little bit when it comes to keeping an eye on her and making sure that APEP stays as far away as possible.
00:42:27
Speaker
I'll bring some cookies next time. Maybe that will inspire her to the light side more. Ah, yes. Yes. That is something we should do. We should go get many treats. Yes. Many cookies. Yes. I haven't seen APEP in many cookies.
00:42:48
Speaker
All right, Oscar. Well, thank you. I just wanted to put that in your mind and make sure that we keep an eye on her a lot closer lately. I want to protect her as well. Same. I don't want anything bad to happen to her, although I know it's the opposite. She very much wants bad things to happen to me, but I can't help the way that I'm hardwired and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. That's all. Yeah, me too.
00:43:16
Speaker
I definitely don't want to have to fight her because that will also be catastrophic on a very large scale. Every time I sit next to her, I just feel like whatever the Dark Master is is just getting more palpable and I don't like how it makes me feel. If I had hair, they would be standing up. It's also not a good look to kill a kid.
00:43:41
Speaker
Yes, it's also not a good look to kill a kid. Yeah, that would look bad on your fire. Although my superiors in the God world, Ra, it's fine with it. It happened all the time, but I guess I've grown soft over the years, Oscar. Like your fur.
00:43:58
Speaker
How long have you been on this earth in lucky human form? Well, not long. Um, less than a few months since I first met all of you, um, you know, I, I typically stay away until I'm needed. And then, you know, the people of Mahatia, they give me a body and I take it and go, go about my mission as to not destroy the world in my regular godly form. So it's just.
00:44:26
Speaker
It's hard to be me sometimes, Oscar. I believe that I wouldn't want to be a god seems like way too much responsibility. Sometimes it's nice to not know things. It is. May I tell you one more thing before you go?
00:44:46
Speaker
Yes. This is going to be a little weird, but there's this... I don't want to get too far into it, but there's this prophecy amongst our people, our gods, so to speak, that our pantheon... Well, I'm very certain that...
00:45:03
Speaker
Luke or Sally, they believe have to die for the world to be saved. And I'm trying to prevent that. Yes. And you're, I knew that I was going to meet them long before I met them, but I didn't know I was going to meet you.
00:45:20
Speaker
which is very strange. And because, like I said, sometimes, you know, I know I just said sometimes it's good to not know things, but this is something I wish I knew. I don't know why you showed up. I don't know why I know you. I don't know why we've met and I should. I should know these things and I don't. And it's frankly, it's a little terrifying considering what I just said a moment ago, but
00:45:46
Speaker
I don't know what your role is in saving the world. The murder case happened and that's how that whole thing started. Right. Perhaps your partner, I forgive me for saying this, Oscar, but perhaps your partner dying is in some way relevant to whether the world ends or continues. I don't know. And that maybe even if he does good things.
00:46:14
Speaker
Yes, that is very true and something that can definitely happen. And perhaps he will be the reason the world is saved or the reason it ends, Oscar. I don't know. But I just needed, I just needed to tell you that and all the more reason that you may very well be the key to saving the world, but I just need to tell you in earnest that if there's any reason given to me that you would be a reason why it would end, I'll have to do something about it.
00:46:42
Speaker
Well, anyways, I'll try my best to provide anyone from dying because I don't want any of you to die. All right. Want to hug it out? Yeah. All right. I give a nice warm Keppri hug and then walk over to my apartment and greet him, you know, farewell. Great. Fantastic. So everybody goes about their nightly business and starts going to sleep.
00:47:10
Speaker
We're not the mentally business, whatever time of the day it is, whatever time of the day you guys go back. We'll say you got to back a little late at night. Who cares? You drove all day. Uh, so you're sleeping and six hours. Goodbye. And then, uh, Sally start feeling sick. Oh, no. Ted. Ted. Ted.
00:47:37
Speaker
Imagine you have a little baby monitor intercom in your room. It used to go to Luke's room, but he shut that down real fast. I can't fight monsters and parent this stuff. You hear a little jingling of keys.
00:47:59
Speaker
Sally are you okay? What's wrong Sally?
00:48:15
Speaker
Okay. She's covered in like boils and they're, they're losing extra fat and she's got a fever and rash. Somebody bring me and the kid to the apartment.
00:48:50
Speaker
Like five minutes past year he's like sitting on the floor like And then some people come and Did they put you on there like a great quiet kid guy get you down of this infirmary? Don't I live like down the hall from?
00:49:07
Speaker
I thought you had a house. Campery lives in the same building. I feel like they have probably like a crash, some crash rooms where people who live off campus can still sleep there if they need to when they get back. I thought I was on campus, but I had my own house or something. I don't remember. Yeah, I thought that was you.
00:49:27
Speaker
Oscar has one off-campus. He has a little he has a little like layer. Yeah in his bedroom They built for like the more important team member people who've been there for a long time to get a nice little so yeah, you're outside of the building that they're in I
00:49:48
Speaker
Alright kid just calm down. Oh god good thing we brought the thick gloves Oh my god Okay, you got Todd Jim
00:50:13
Speaker
Yeah, I got Todd. You got the little girl? Todd! What did you do to me, Todd? Oh my goodness, this is the whole way down there. Jim, oh, I know. Every year with these possessed kids they bring an ear. Every year. God. Hopefully this doesn't blow us up. We threw so many in the furnace. Oh man, do you think this was going to blow up like the last seven did? I don't know.
00:50:53
Speaker
Also First cut out the whole carpet just covered vomit and pus. I mean we don't need a whole new whole new re-carpeting in this room Capri has nightmares of puke on his shoes No
00:51:12
Speaker
Get out of there, New York poop man. Would Luke get like any sort of notification that Sally's acting up?
00:51:24
Speaker
Not right away, but it's a similar time.
Containment Breach: Blobby
00:51:29
Speaker
All you guys is Sierra approved smartphone devices go. I'm a wee wacker. I'm a wee wacker. Everybody roll sharp. See if you wake up.
00:51:50
Speaker
Sharp. OK. Can I roll sharp to stay asleep or cool to stay asleep and stay. Yeah, of course you can stay asleep through it. Where are you going to roll? I got eleven. All right. Well, man, he sleeps right through it. He fucking he like I turn my I just take my battery out my phone. I got one of the takes the battery out. So, OK, so Oscar and Capri, you get an alert that says, um, uh,
00:52:17
Speaker
containment breach level c-17 collection a That's not that do I know it payment breach means and then it says subject ooze or and or slime ooze slash slime release alias blobby
00:52:39
Speaker
Oh, goodness. Um, I proved to- I proved to- I proved to Luke's room. Okay. He's- he's- he's there sleeping. What does Luke dream about?
00:52:51
Speaker
what is looking about luke electric sheep he doesn't have dreams that dreams for so long his life is real life is like he has a dream it's like he went to the mall or something because his real life is so fucking absurd that's what he thinks that those are dreams
00:53:09
Speaker
It's a pretzel It's like really nice when he wakes up and it's like come on We got to go save this like you know small child you can cast magic spells from the chicken packs and also this ooze and shit so Quick get in your your shot scatter gun or whatever your shock stick. I don't know what you have What's he dreaming about right now
00:53:34
Speaker
I don't know, probably watching Netflix or something. He's at the mall and he's borrowed because he kept saying borrows. He's eating, he's watching, he's having a dream that he's watching. Is it third person where you see yourself watching the flicks? Ah, it's first person. He has a normal life. He has like, you know, he's like happy and like. A wife and kids? Nah, I think he just like enjoys what he's doing. He's probably, he probably has a wife, I don't know.
00:54:00
Speaker
He doesn't live on, like, a corporate campus in a dorm, you know? They call it condo. High-end condo, yeah. It's a dorm. It's just two dorms taped together. That's all it is. Yeah, basically. What is he dreaming about his Netflix TV show? I'm just like, Lucas! Lucas! Wake up! And I start shaking them.
00:54:29
Speaker
I think I need it all cool here to see if I like I need a roll call again I just feel like that's okay what do you think about that I'm gonna give you a minus five because he's literally shaking
00:54:38
Speaker
Probably jumping on your bed. So you got it. OK, you wake up. OK, I failed. I got a 10 minus five. That's a five. All right. I'm going to snap at Kefri. So he gets jolted awake. What? Do stop that shit. Get out of here. Don't fucking teleport to me ever. Get the fuck away from me. Is Luke in his pajamas? He's in his underwear. What's Luke sleeping in his underwear? No t-shirt, just underwear. Probably it's hot. He lives in fucking Arizona. That's true.
00:55:09
Speaker
Lucas, I'm sorry. Blobby has escaped. We need more containment things. What the fuck is Blobby? You mean the ooze? Remember? Yeah, you know the ooze that we trapped in the sewer with the chicken wings. Don't we have an entire- There's more people that were here than us. We got it. Why can't someone else take care of that? My thoughts exactly, but they sent us the text and I thought you would have a better idea about what we should do. Let me check my phone. Then your house phone rings, Luke.
00:55:40
Speaker
I want to reach you on your phone phone. I check. I just look at my just look at the alert on my phone. I'm reading that. I said earlier. Yes. Oh, God. All right. I pick up the I pick up the landline and I just like hang it up really fast. I'm going to go make sure Oscar's awake.
00:56:03
Speaker
Don't teleport inside of his room. Just teleport, you know, outside of it, if you can, and just knock on the door. Be polite. Be polite. Oh, I should have knocked on your door. Yeah, that probably would have, you know, that probably would have been enough. I'd pick up the phone. Click hang it up again. Yeah, what a rude device. We're trying to have a conversation here. Then your phone starts ringing.
00:56:30
Speaker
They took the battery out. All right, I answer it. I answer it. You turn everybody up and back out. We're gonna turn it on. Yeah, I turn it back on. Oh, that's right. That's right. Luke, hey, it's me. It's Hodgson's. You got to get in, man. I know. Just go haywire. I'm getting dressed. That blog thing you guys found, it's like 20 times bigger than it was when we put it in there. Where did you put it? In a containment cell, Luke. Like a special one for a blog.
00:56:57
Speaker
I somehow, like, the door just almost malfunctioned to something, Luke. It just got out and I was huge. Do you have table salt here? It's like it's sliding down. It's as big as the hallway, Luke. And dudes are, like, getting caught up in it. There's people in the ooze that are open. Fucking evacuate the place. What? I'm not going to know. We are now, but there was people in the way. They didn't know. Great. All right. Just evacuate. Jim was setting the alarm off, and he got sucked up. Oh, shit. I watched it on the cameras. I looked back. Oh, no, not Jim.
00:57:26
Speaker
Yeah, not Jim. Not medical Jim. I hate that guy, but you know Jim down in containment. He was a great guy. He's a pile of bones. Just get everyone. Stop. Get out of the building. Are you outside? Well, I'm not. I'm in my control. I'm in the command center, Luke. I'm taking charge, you know. Get out of the command center. Ah, fuck. Get everyone out. Get everyone out. I'll bring the portable command center out to the outside. Get everyone out. All right. Goodbye. OK, bye.
00:57:55
Speaker
Uh, no, Keppra, you teleport outside of Oscar's room. Oscar, you woke up to your alarm, so I mean, I guess you can do whatever you want to do. Hello? Hello? Mate, mate, I'm changing, I'm naked. Hang on, I'm naked! I don't mind that you're nude, just open the door. From some pants I didn't open the door. Your pants are on backwards.
00:58:23
Speaker
That happens more often than you think. I take it you got the message? Yes, I just read it. There's something about the blob. Yeah, Blobby, he's loose. We must go and... I don't know actually what we're supposed to do. Oh crap, I didn't... I didn't go get Sally. Oh shoot, hang on. Hey, you know how to get back there. I gotta go get Sally real quick. Oh, you could take me with you so I don't need to actually go there.
00:58:47
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that's true. Just okay. Hold still. Okay. Are you all closed? You have everything you need? Yeah. I'm sorry. Okay. I'm going to grab ahold of them and have to roll weird. Okay. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. Oh, here we go. 12. Yes. That'd be great. I mean, y'all are fucking phenomenal. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I just grabbed ahold of Oscar and poof him to the front door of Sally's apartment. It's probably hanging open.
00:59:15
Speaker
I don't think medical guys would have wanted to close it. You see a guy and they're like, fucking people, he's puking and pussing everywhere. He's cutting leg out of the rug with a razor. He's like, fucking people. Fucking always- Sir, where is Sally? Where is Sally? I don't know. Who's that?
00:59:31
Speaker
I pushed the door open. It's me, Kepri. No, no. Who's Sally? Who are you? I don't know. It's the person who lives here, sir. Oh, I don't know anybody about that. I'm the guy that comes and cuts the puke out of a rug. Is that Sally's? Oh, that looks like Sally's puke. I've seen it on my shoes many a time.
00:59:51
Speaker
Oh yeah, I don't know whose puke is, I'm just... I don't think that you have puke that looks like uniquely to them. Oh, I don't know. All puke looks the same. I just assume that Sally is the only one that pukes on this planet. I can see why you'd think that. Who would I talk to to find her? There's a monster on the loose and we have to get her. Yeah, I think it took her to the infirmary down there. She was like,
01:00:20
Speaker
Like bleeding out of her face or something. I don't know disgusting. Nobody decided to call us. The guy was puking. Uh, I don't know. I'm not. I just, I just cut carpet, dude. I don't know what to tell you. I split up puke and piss and shit. And all the other things that come out of monsters and people in this shit fucking place. I thought I was going to have a real, go get a job at fucking Sierra do maintenance. You'd be like, you were prepared for it. Watch your cage. Luke comes upstairs. He cuts in.
01:00:45
Speaker
All right. Oh, hey, you guys. You guys are here. Nice. Uh, what's up, Larry? You bitching about your job again. Yeah. You know me, man. Yep. Hey, yeah. He just cleans up shit all day. Whatever. Fuck him. Let's, uh, get this news to deal with though. So what, where's Sally? Why is, why is Larry here? She's not here. I can tell you that much. So where does she get taken to? Apparently the infirmary and that's not her puke on the ground.
01:01:25
Speaker
I'm slightly concerned about that. I hope that they can I hope she doesn't just run away or whatever. Well, she's on there, but if she's sick, she's probably That's not good. I forgot that we had an infirmary on this campus. So uh, I think we should check Yeah, Kevin your check on her
01:01:43
Speaker
You want me she hates me. She's not gonna talk to me. Yeah, I just want to know if she's alive All right, I'll just go see if she's alive and then I'll poof right back to you Devour everybody. I don't know All right, so Luke and Oscar I'm guessing guys start running towards uh, yeah, we gotta go shit. Let's go to that block kept re-teleport. Yeah, Sally. Oh
01:02:09
Speaker
Yeah, but you can do what they're doing first. You're probably quick. Can I go? They got to walk to the building that's in any way. It's not on this. The department is off in a different section. They're bringing us off somewhere else. They're like the containment centers like somewhere else in the area that CR owns. Probably further for everything else there. And so they got a good minute to trek. All right. I'll just do that real quick. I'll just go to the infirmary or I just teleport to wherever Sally is because you pop up and you're always standing still and there's like two dudes rolling or there's a dude rolling.
Sally's Deteriorating Condition
01:02:38
Speaker
Sally, like away from you, down the hall. He's rolling? Oh, like on a gurney? Just calm down, little girl. We'll get you to your room. Hey, um, hey, Sally. Oh, geez! Sorry, sir, you do great work. May I talk to Sally for a moment? Yeah, just keep moving here, buddy. All right, I'll walk alongside the gurney.
01:03:04
Speaker
Sally what what are you doing? Were you were you playing in the bushes again? What's not all over your skin? Yes, I know I told Lucas that but he told me to come and talk to you to see if you were alive Are you dying?
01:03:27
Speaker
She seems like she has some sort of skin irritation. We're going to give her some medicated gauze and some stuff. Probably going to have to give her some sleeping.
01:03:36
Speaker
stuff because she's going to be rolling around like she's fucking she's not at least possessed kids. I'm not dealing with a possessed kid. Hey, listen, whenever you're done with that, whenever she's stabilized, have somebody text me or Lucas to let us know there's a monster on the loose on in Sierra Corp. I know I was I was I was oh shit is it better be this kid and I saw it was C 17 over in the containment. I was like, Oh, thank God. That's like, great. Thought it was this kid for example. Oh shit, I'm fine. Right. I'm going to get blown up just like like Todd and build it.
01:04:03
Speaker
Everybody has lots of more names, very common names around here. Sure do. Hey Sally, whenever you're feeling better, you feel like fighting a monster, a large one, a jelly guy, you know Blobby? You want to come see Blobby? Justin, I want to reach out and touch Keppri's arm, and I really hope this is contagious. Our shingles contagious? Chicken boxes.
01:04:31
Speaker
Chicken pox is highly contagious and shingles is because of chicken pox. Roll a tough Kepper to see if your body can stand up. Can a goat really have the chicken pox though? Depends on if his vessel had chicken pox before. Oh, is that right?
01:04:56
Speaker
Roll cool. Roll whatever you want to roll to see what you're doing. You should touch it, but you don't feel anything right away or not at all. You're fine. The shingles virus is already inside you. Cool. All right. Well, where exactly are you taking her? So I know where to send people. Right up here, room 89.
01:05:16
Speaker
89 okay. Yeah. All right Sally feel better. Just give me a ring whenever you're ready to go fight monsters. Okay Yes, please do that the moment that you know things seem fine, okay Yeah, please kill that monster or whatever catch it. I don't want to get eaten away home. All right. Thanks guy You do good work too. I don't know. Hey, but I've seen you do stuff good
01:05:46
Speaker
Sure do. Bye. And I disappear. Okay. And then where are you going to teleport to? Luke? I'm teleporting to Oscar because Luke told me not to teleport to him. Okay. Roll weird for me because I'm assuming they're in the car driving to the containment building.
01:06:10
Speaker
Oh, yes. He failed. All right. Let's see here. I'll roll a D4. I don't have any options for it, but I'm just going to give you some different places to land. How many D4s? Well, I don't. Does one D? I'm going to roll you a 1B. 1D4? 1B4. I fucked it up. You got to write rolls. Slash roll space 1D4.
01:06:38
Speaker
Couldn't hit, there's no option. Like the dicings doesn't have an option anymore. Anyway. Yeah. Three. Uh, if I don't care, you're going to land on Oscar's lap. Oh, what a comfortable landing.
01:06:52
Speaker
Why did you land on my lap? Hey, can you push your seat back some, please? Just grab Capri and put him on the back seat. Oscar? Start feeding him into the back, like, throw his shoulders to his feet. Get back here. Stop it. I'm trying to. I can do it myself. Oscar, stop it. Teleport your ass to the back. Yeah, imagine the back seat in my car instead of Oscar. Yeah, bloop, bloop. I imagine. All right, I do that just like when you were in the back seat. Excellent.
01:07:22
Speaker
Did you catch some magical flies in your teleportation or why did you land on me? I don't know. Sometimes things just don't work. Even for moving target, I imagine it's just a little more difficult. Anyway, Sally's sick apparently and she has a bunch of...
01:07:40
Speaker
Blisters on her skin, and she's puke. Well. I don't know she's puking, but she sounds like she's going to puke That's bad, and yeah, so I guess we'll have to check on her later I just told him to send us a text whenever she was feeling fine or something. I don't know what's wrong with her Maybe she just wants attention. Maybe she wants you to go spend more time with her Luke. I don't know Maybe you should bring us some cookies as well
01:08:06
Speaker
I didn't take cookies. Oh, I don't have any we have to go to the store. I look can we go to the store after we're done with blobby probably hopefully If there is a store Fuck what if we do that? How do we do with this before? What do we do? We put them in a box? Well What the fuck how did he how did he like get out of the They just said he grew how does that make any
01:08:34
Speaker
Well, he must grow from devouring. Maybe he grows when he eats things. Wasn't that what was happening before when we gave him chicken? Yeah, but like they just put him in a cell. Yes, but a containment cell specialized for him. So someone opened the door or the door malfunctioned, which seems very suspicious, don't you think? My theory is that somebody sabotaged or like was a traitor.
01:09:01
Speaker
I'm not gonna assume that yet just because we don't really knew we didn't really know the blob we just try to contain it to study it so Did it respond like not well or like, you know well for us when we hit it with like a stun gun or like this fucking stun baton that I have I don't think you use it I think you either looked on on the website or you remembered from your own knowledge that that would work monster of the wiki.
Ooze Sabotage Suspicions
01:09:26
Speaker
Yeah
01:09:27
Speaker
So in my, can I, should I roll it to see if I know that it'll work or like, uh, no, you remember me, I do remember me bringing that up. Yeah, you did do that already. However, however you learned that you remember that, you know, that. All right. Well, I think you, I think you just knew about slimes.
01:09:41
Speaker
Interesting okay knowledge and the job cool. This isn't my first rodeo. It's like my third so One slide before the last time and then the last time we've let this guy I was second time and here we go So yeah All right, so you guys you guys pull up to where there's all like people outside the building and you see Hodgson there He's got his little uh, he's got his little like little tablet. He's like Great all right
01:10:12
Speaker
Yeah, you pop to him and he's like, Luke, Luke, that guy's here. Come here. Look at this. I backed up that camera feed more after I saw Jim get eaten. Look at him. He's pressing buttons on the panel at the door. Why would Jim do that?
01:10:27
Speaker
is jim like some kind of like manipulative evil egyptian god by any chance no i mean he likes i'm pretty sure he was a furry but i'm pretty none of that he thought he was a furry but you know we all loved him yeah i did love jim he's always a nice guy he's really nice yeah i don't know what's going on here
01:10:53
Speaker
I wish we could still have his body. We could maybe see if like somebody like mine controlled him or something. I don't know. I don't really know all that stuff, but I don't know. Can I? I also say I knew it. Somebody did some things there. Oscar knew it. Can I see the video again? Yeah, I play back for you. Look, there it goes. He's walking on Hillary. Let's see where he started. He's there. He's coming into the hallway. All right. Stop. Stop right here. Pause. Pause it. I did. Enhance.
01:11:19
Speaker
We asked good Jessica. So he's looking right at the camera. Let's see if he has any of those weird, like supernatural TV shows. Does he? And by enhancing, he's just doing like he's putting his fingers and like making zooming in like you do on your phone. I mean, it should be some should be like a high, you know, high res camera. You know, that's some eight K shit. It's down. It's down the containment field. They got to make sure it's good. Yes. It's probably got a pretty good image there. I mean, he looks he looks all right.
01:11:45
Speaker
to me
01:12:01
Speaker
that's true, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true, yeah, that's true,
01:12:26
Speaker
That's a good idea. Anyway, yeah, that blobs down there. We got, like, the doors locked up.
Blob Chaos Management
01:12:30
Speaker
But I mean... I don't think that's going to help, right? Yeah, he's probably going to find a grate and squeeze through it or something. I don't know. At least he's going to collapse himself like kitty cats to get underneath any crack they want. All right, well... So, yeah, be careful. Well, Luke, I called them to get some of the guys in. They're going to bring some suits in you guys can wear. Like, maybe you should prevent it from, like, dissolving your skin. So maybe wait on that. But otherwise, you know...
01:12:56
Speaker
It's dissolving swimming pool. Yeah, it's busy. Jim. Look right now. Fast forward where it gets him. Look at that. Just get sucked in. There's going his bones now doesn't need the bones. We see Jim skeleton in there and then the camera feed shuts off. Is that you kind of see the blob like it just like goes through the camera. Like it's all jelly looking and you see like all the jelly go past and then it's back to normal.
01:13:24
Speaker
Oh, really? Oh, so it's not like just growing continuously. No, it's just it's just okay. I thought it was just like it just like expanded past the cell and just like kept going on the hallway. No, it just it just it's squeezed out like it's like, well, the door opened up. It's like a normal sized door pretty much. And I fucking just know it got out. It just like came out like a big fat blob like squeezing it up. No, we don't they don't really need to
01:13:53
Speaker
Once in a while, you know used to like keep it from dying trying to be humane But like not enough to get the graphic it was we were modern in size, you know and making sure it was good Every once while we send a little zap to make sure it doesn't like get too big that kind of helps like it disturbs It's like gross apparently. Yeah. I mean, what were you feeding it? I just like, you know chickens You were feeding it chickens. Yeah, you can just like once a while chicken. I'm making like, you know, hold on What were the chickens deep fried?
01:14:23
Speaker
Was it deep fried chicken? No, we're not going through all the trouble of cooking. I think, you know, it was just, I was like a rotisserie chicken that we got from like, we got a bunch of them from the store or whatever. Rotisserie chickens? No, dude, the guy developed a taste for chicken shack or whatever. Well, I mean, he didn't want it for you. He was, it was, didn't need him at first, but you know, after a while, I was like, oh, fuck, I'm hungry, man. Give me a go get a chicken shack down here. That's all it needs. I guarantee you it'll listen to us.
01:14:47
Speaker
Alright, okay, I'll bow it in. Mortisserie chicken. Not gonna cut it. Okay. So you're
Sally's Escape Plan
01:14:55
Speaker
planning on appeasing it with food so it goes back to itself?
01:14:58
Speaker
That's what we did last time, didn't we? Yeah. I'm reading your report for the lesson. Like you went to someplace called, I forget what it was called. It was called Urban Spice. You went to Urban Spice. Yeah, it was Urban Spice. There's none of them around here. That's pretty much just a New York thing. So hopefully KFC will be good. We got a KFC nearby. Man, if only we had a way to tell 14 York and get some fast food and come back.
01:15:26
Speaker
Yes, I can do it. You could just go there and steal the food capri. No, we don't even do this. Alright, let's just get some long shakki sticks.
01:15:38
Speaker
Yeah, we're in the suits. They're going to bring stuff that these things don't like, like the shocking sticks and all that. Yeah, we're going to bring everything. They're going to get a big containment box down here, try and lure it into it. Whatever you're going to do, we're always going to hit you. Just hang tight. If only we worked for a delivery company, specialize in importing goods from around the world and bringing them to all corners of the globe. If only that was where we were. We can get everything anywhere else. We can't get things here when we need them. Am I right or what? Yeah, right.
01:16:07
Speaker
If only you had a skill that lets you roll to see if you can get things that you want. It would be a very useful skill. Don't be there in five seconds. I'm waiting for someone to tell me to roll. They're coming in like five seconds. We'll cut to Sally real quick. She's in the infirmary. You're kind of like, they kind of sedated you, Sally. They sedated her. They have you like gauzed up a little bit. Am I alone?
01:16:31
Speaker
You are, Ben. Roll cool, I guess, to see if you are aware enough since they gave you a little bit of like sleeping pills. Which is a fun part to give kids, I know, but she's a- Oh, I mean, I would have hidden them under my tongue and then spit them out, but okay. Let's see if you do. Okay, you pull that. You're a cool role to see if you pull it off. You pull it off, they didn't notice. So here, the doctor leaves after she like wraps you up and everything. And then I guess you go spit them out.
01:17:02
Speaker
Okay, so I want to get up off the bed, turn my spell off. Okay, master. What am I doing now? Where am I? What am I going to do now? Okay, Sally, I need you.
01:17:17
Speaker
You're gonna use magic in so don't fuck it up You're doing it's good so far. I need you to Like do something try make yourself invisible if you can do that So you can sneak around all these dummies and go to this room. It's it's a level boys You gotta get downstairs. It's room room room three downstairs and I need you to then use more magic and open that up and
01:17:47
Speaker
It's where your dad's at. So I just need you to do that. That way we can get your dad out of there. And I can ride your dad. I can be in your dad. No, I can possess your dad and use his body. I need to use your dad's body for my own needs. Nope. I just need you to get down there and unlock the door. OK. OK. OK.
01:18:21
Speaker
That's right. Are there vents in this room? Probably. With a role like that, can I just sort of turn myself into like a little goo monster and seep through the vents to get down there? I guess. That's what you want to do.
01:18:45
Speaker
Sally, that's gross. I never thought of that. I'm going to get locked in with Blobby. I just want to like seep through the vents and fall downstairs into the room underneath me. All right, you do that. You're in whatever room that is down there. It's not room three, but I'm going to solidify. OK. And then peek out the door. You're quiet.
01:19:15
Speaker
Can I see what door I am in, or what room I am in, based on the door number? Yeah, you're in room 51. I need to be in room three? Yeah, no, you're in room like 12. 12, okay. Is there anybody in the hallway? No. Blobby. The lights are like turned low, no one's really on this floor.
01:19:40
Speaker
I'm going to stay like low to the ground and sort of like sneak towards room three. You're hearing a room you pass. Somebody's going. Oh, yes, they're sick. You'll hear us. That's all you know. Hey, my boy. Oh, my boy. Oh, hey.
01:20:04
Speaker
Okay, she's Alex Mac. Just like she turned into a puddle with the event and come on to the other side. Yeah, I guess whoever that is. You don't know Alex. Oh, okay. Never mind. I don't think I don't know either. Somebody listening will know. So yeah, Sally, you get to room three. I'm going to.
Dark Master's Possession Plot
01:20:24
Speaker
Is it locked? Yeah. There's like a little keypad on it.
01:20:32
Speaker
Now, Sally, just magic, just frazzle, I think. At this point, it doesn't matter. At this point, you can blow it up. Just don't go. I'm going to zap it. Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap
01:21:02
Speaker
Does he have a hole in his skull? No. Except for the ones he uses to breathe in here and see you. Yeah, just the normal ones. I don't know. By this point, he's probably mostly healed up from his advantage from where he smashed against a wall and shit, but he's probably mostly physically looking fine now. By the way, his little thing goes beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep
01:21:31
Speaker
We're here. Did we do it? Yeah, I'm in him. I'm in your dad. Okay. Do you have a hole in your head? Why would I have a hole in my head? I don't know, because he told me I broke your head. No, you just smashed his head against the wall. It was a little cracked up. Look, it's fine now. He turned his head around. Look, see? Oh, okay. Yeah, I really wish you weren't a kid. But anyway, that's what I... It's not my fault, buddy. It's not your fault, buddy.
01:22:01
Speaker
Your
Magic vs. the God
01:22:02
Speaker
don't I guess well really I was hoping that this wouldn't happen until you well I wouldn't need to use you until you're older, but here we are anyway So listen like I had an inside man Unleash the blob you guys fought I thought it'd be fun just to have that blob come back to fight you your friends Or everybody just distract him from us do this Yeah, I mean you know keep it tabs on what's going on this that a pep guy. He's about to
01:22:26
Speaker
really mess things up for what I want to do in the future. Like he's going to try, you know, I want to bring darkness to the world. One day, Sally, he's trying to bring chaos to the world. And that's what's really meshed with my, you know, agenda. So we got to stop him. What if you guys got married on that darkness? Anyway, um,
01:22:55
Speaker
Guys, I need everybody to be distracted because I know your friends are going to go for this. It's just that Keppri guy. We're not trying to end the world here, Sally. Well, I mean, you know, who knows what's going to happen. But we're just going to try and get rid of this APIP guy before he fucks up our shit. We don't want to end the world. Why not? No, not today. No, because I'm not ready. OK. I just want to ride your dad out there with you and stop. Oh. So we get ice cream?
01:23:20
Speaker
If everybody lives, sure. Well, not everybody. I don't care if everybody lives. If you live, sure, you know ice cream. What about Daddy Luke? Can we get some ice cream for Daddy Luke and Daddy Catbird? Well, maybe not Catbird. He can watch us eat the ice cream. Yeah, we'll see. And Mr. Oscar, he's fluffy. He's a soft man. He's like a fluffy dog. Can dogs have ice cream? They can't have chocolate. I remember that.
01:23:50
Speaker
Jax kind of like rubbing his, like between his eyes with his fingers, like, oh my God, yes. Yeah, dogs can have ice cream, yep, they can. Just not chocolate. Can I feed them chocolate? Okay. All right, so, okay. So listen here, here's the thing. So we're gonna- I got this by the way. Do you want this? I'm gonna show him the medallion. Oh, oh yeah, I forgot you got that. Yeah, I can really, that could probably help. You should have been using that this whole time. You could like have just been like doing whatever you want.
01:24:19
Speaker
You could have fucked up all these times. You could have channeled your power to that, Sally. Come on. That's great. That's going to really make things... You might live, actually. You might live through this, Sally. I wasn't going to? Well, I mean, you never know.
01:24:33
Speaker
What I'm thinking we're going to have to do is banish a god. I mean, that's going to be a lot for your little eight-year-old body. Mr. Capri? Why are we banishing Daddy Capri? Maybe. Maybe two words one stone. I don't know. But we've got to get rid of that. We can't kill him. I mean, I can't kill him. You can't kill him. I mean, I can maybe kill him. I got these crayons. They're pretty stabby. I'm sure I could stab him. Yeah, it's really good. Yeah, it's really awesome. Yep, that's great. Yep. Let's get the fuck out of here. Let's teleport.
01:25:02
Speaker
I'm gonna take you to... I'm gonna hold your hand. Okay. That's great. We're just gonna... Actually, you know what? You should stay here. Play the long game, okay, Sally? Don't... What? Go back to your little room. What? Huh? What? Why? Why do you want to leave me behind again? Because I don't know when APEP's gonna do everything, and I don't want your friends being annoying. Actually, you know what? What are they gonna do? Oh, he could teleport to you. I don't want to block your teleport to him, block you on him.
01:25:32
Speaker
I could. I can block things from teleporting. Yeah, we could together, I guess. We can go to a special place, I guess. All right, okay, okay. All right, take my hands, Ellie. Okay, Daddy. You're a good little... Yep, okay. That's fine, okay. You poof
Containment Suit Arrival
01:25:49
Speaker
away with the Dark Master and outside of the containment building, the truck pulls up and the guy's like, hey, we got your suits. We got the suits. You're the suits.
01:27:05
Speaker
Does it look good already?