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Just Scott Again - Oh no I'm a podcast bro
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Overview
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Hello, hello. It's Scott. Welcome back to Wish You All the Best, a personal podcast about modern dating. I'm a little sniffily today, so I'm going to try not to sniff too much at the microphone. But yeah, this is another episode of just me. I've got a couple of folks who I would love to do conversations with coming up.
00:00:29
Speaker
But I wanted to do an episode with just me again. So yeah, here we go. It's almost six months since I started this little passion project. And this is episode, I think, 19. So this has been a little project.
00:00:54
Speaker
It was my birthday last week. I am now 45 years old. And yeah, I don't know. I've kind of found myself at a kind of crossroads, I guess, or like a...
Considering a Move to Los Angeles
00:01:08
Speaker
Well, let me put it this way. I am now... Well, some of you hearing this, you're gonna be hearing this
00:01:16
Speaker
for the first time on this podcast, which is kind of weird. But I've been thinking really seriously about moving to Los Angeles almost exclusively because the dating scene for me seems better there.
00:01:37
Speaker
I've been wrestling with this for kind of a long time and trying to, I mean, I don't know, as you can tell from this podcast, something I think about a lot, I feel like I'm super duper lucky and I really try to remind myself to be grateful for all of the awesome, there are so many awesome things about my life, right? Like I've got a great job, I'm lucky to have, I've got wonderful friends kind of scattered all over the world, at least all over the US.
00:02:06
Speaker
My family is amazing, I've got my health. There are just so many things to be grateful for. And the one missing piece of the puzzle for me has been, well, one of the missing pieces I should say is trying to meet that special someone who wants to hunker down and spend the rest of our lives together.
00:02:34
Speaker
Yeah, so I've tried to approach this in a sensible way with enough attention that it's something that I'm not just leaving it up to fate, but hopefully, I think, I hope, not with so much that it's putting me in an unhealthy place.
00:03:00
Speaker
I've been doing that for about three years here in San Francisco. It seems like it's not really working for me here. I have over the past three-ish months
00:03:20
Speaker
tried dating in LA and San Francisco. Um, and I've met, uh, try to remember gone on a couple of very nice dates with a very awesome person here in San Francisco. Um, but I, um, I basically had more
00:03:41
Speaker
more dates and more sort of promising dates like with people who I share values with, where there's a little feels like there's more potential for chemistry. I've just had better luck dating in LA. And that's when I've, you know, basically like matched with someone on an app and said, Hey, I don't live in LA, but I can take a flight down and take you out to dinner. Is that okay?
00:04:10
Speaker
Yeah, so it just seems like whatever I'm selling, they're buying more in LA than they are here. Now, I don't love the whole buying, selling metaphor, but you get the idea. Yeah, and that's a big deal. It's a tough thing. Well,
00:04:36
Speaker
It's one of those decisions. I mean, moving is always a decision. You never know 100% for sure if it's the right thing, especially if it's not for some urgent or essential reason. If you're moving for a job, or you're moving because you need to be closer to family, or you're moving because
00:04:56
Speaker
I don't know. I think there are a lot of reasons that we move that just feel like no-brainers. When you go to college, it's, well, obviously, you got to move to go to college. When you get a job, you got to move to go work that job. I guess before the era of everyone is working remote, but you know what I mean.
Plans for Relocation Exploration
00:05:19
Speaker
So yeah, this is, I don't know, I haven't signed a lease yet, but I'm heading down there, gonna stay with some lovely friends who are probably listening to this and I'm gonna scope it out and see like what neighborhood in LA feels like the right place for me. And I really am moving with it with, you know, at least a big component is I wanna go someplace where it feels like
00:05:48
Speaker
it's likely that I'll meet somebody who is gonna be a good fit for me, which just feels weird, man. So much of relationship wisdom, there's so much of, well, I don't know. I think 10 years ago, I would have told you that
00:06:14
Speaker
moving someplace, not because you know somebody and are in love with somebody, but moving someplace because you think your chances are better for falling in love. I think I would've told you that was a little unwise, a little crazy, a little wherever you go, there you are. If somebody 10 years ago had come to me and said, I think I'm gonna move,
00:06:40
Speaker
because the dating scene is better in this other city. I think my impulse would be to be like, well, okay, slow down. Let's talk about what you're doing. Uprooting your life is a lot. The common denominator here is me. The common factor in all of the connections that I've had in San Francisco is me.
00:07:07
Speaker
right? So if it's not working, maybe that's because of me. Um, but you know, I, I just kind of started to run an experiment. I just, I've tried, I tried, I went to New York and I tried dating in New York for a little bit and it was, it definitely felt different, um, than dating in San Francisco and, um, LA isn't that far away. Um,
00:07:31
Speaker
So I just tried basically dating in LA from San Francisco and so far that's working better.
00:07:48
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. And there are some other like, in some small ways, it does sort of feel like the universe is sort of nudging me in that direction or at least away from San Francisco. The ceiling in my apartment started leaking. My apartment flooded last week, which is, you know, not the end of the world and they fixed it and all that kind of stuff. But I don't know. There's a little superstitious part of me that wonders if I'm not supposed to like
00:08:19
Speaker
take a hint after three years of unsuccessful dating and one leaky apartment. But I don't know, so there's that. I guess I'm just throwing that out there because this is sort of a personal log in a way.
00:08:45
Speaker
also to again acknowledge my luck, to acknowledge that there are a lot of folks who finding somebody to love is
00:09:01
Speaker
is not really a luxury. For a lot of people, partnering up is much more of a necessity kind of thing, which there's a lot to unpack there. But for me, for all kinds of reasons, I'm very lucky that it's not really a
00:09:17
Speaker
you know, like a life or death or quality of life kind of decision, right? I'm gonna have a roof over my head, I'm gonna have a job, I'm gonna have friends, whether or not I find that special someone. But because I really like to find that person and grow that relationship, it does feel like it's worth it for me to kind of
00:09:43
Speaker
make decisions aimed at that goal. So yeah, there's that.
Podcast Stereotypes and Intentions
00:09:53
Speaker
I have had multiple people send me the New York Times article that came out I think a couple weeks ago about how women don't want to date men with podcasts. And so my initial thought was like, oh no, am I a bro with a podcast? And of course, no, I'm not a bro with a podcast. I'm a bro with two podcasts. The other one being
00:10:16
Speaker
a politics podcast that I do with two lovely friends called Ruchi and Jer explain weird SF politics to Scott. We were not thinking of search engine optimization when they came up with that title. But if you're just dying to hear more Scott talking to people, go look that one up and you'll learn some weird stuff about San Francisco politics.
00:10:44
Speaker
But yeah, bro with a podcast. This is an interesting thing to talk about because I hope I'm not just another bro. Well, okay. I think the stereotype of a bro with a podcast is kind of these sort of manosphere or pickup artist adjacent
00:11:08
Speaker
people who are usually selling something. There's usually some pickup artist plan or a pamphlet you can download or a website seminar you can go to to pay money to learn tips and tricks for how to pick up women or how to, I don't know, it's a lot of self-help stuff. And I want to be clear, I don't think all of that information is bad.
00:11:37
Speaker
a lot to unpack with Jordan Peterson. A lot of what Jordan Peterson says, and if you don't know who Jordan Peterson is, don't worry, I'm not going to talk about it for very long. A lot of the advice that I think is out there for men is pretty decent advice because a lot of it is just like,
00:12:01
Speaker
be a decent human being and do the work, like do the work of being an adult. And that's pretty sound advice for anyone. Where I think that stuff, where I think I really strongly part ways with a lot of that stuff is when it gets into
00:12:25
Speaker
pseudoscience and evolutionary psychology or weird analogies to the animal kingdom or whatever. It sort of feeds into this narrative that there's a struggle between men and women or there's a
00:12:48
Speaker
I don't really know how to package this thought very well, but I think relationships are extremely, extremely complicated. I think people are extremely complicated and I think the way that two people are going to connect to each other and find partnership and cultivate an evolving, growing love
00:13:17
Speaker
I think that's just way, way, way too complicated for a lot of the sort of simple solutions that I hear a lot of men, some women, mostly men, providing on the internet. Which is all to say that I hope I'm not another bro with a podcast. I think what I'm aiming to do is to be kind of like an anti-bro with a podcast.
00:13:47
Speaker
But so much of this is driven by the same stuff. Because I think anybody who's talking to a microphone and throwing the recording on the internet, there's a vanity element. There's something nice about hearing your own voice coming out of a podcast app. It sort of lends an air of
00:14:05
Speaker
like legitimacy or like that must be true because it came out of the same app where I hear, you know, Ari Shapiro and Ezra Klein or whatever, right?
00:14:26
Speaker
Yeah, so there's definitely sort of like the fun element of it where it's just like a passion project to create something. But I do hope for like anybody who's listening, and I've joked a couple times, I got feedback the other day on this podcast about like how I joke that I have like five listeners. I actually don't know how many listeners I have. All of the different platforms make it really hard to figure out how many people are listening to you.
00:14:56
Speaker
I don't know. If you're somebody who hasn't met me and you're listening to this, thank you for listening and I hope this has been helpful. And really, this is for you. I know I have a bunch of folks who know me and love me, who listen because I don't know, because they're lovely friends. And I love you guys too, don't get me wrong. And this is very much for you because you're my friends and I appreciate the support. But I do think that like
00:15:22
Speaker
my hope, the kernel of the idea that first made me figure out how to make a podcast. The kernel of the idea was to facilitate or be a voice or be a man having these conversations, to encourage other men to have these conversations. Because I think
00:15:50
Speaker
I mean, I think it's good for men and women to talk about dating, especially dating apps. I think modern dating is weird, but mostly I think it's good for men to support each other and feel more comfortable talking about this really vulnerable stuff.
00:16:11
Speaker
I think we're just not social. I think it just feels weird for men to do that. It feels weird every time I get on this podcast and start talking to a microphone about my dating life. There is the element of vanity, but this is all on the internet. Anyone can find this and hear what I think about dating, including the people that I'm potentially trying to date.
00:16:38
Speaker
I don't know. I hope the right person will hear that and be like, oh, cool, he's thoughtful and has empathy and is not a pickup artist. I don't know.
The Future of the Podcast and Personal Goals
00:16:52
Speaker
But yeah, the core of the idea was to... I hope that comes across. I hope the core of the idea comes across that these are conversations that
00:17:05
Speaker
more men should be having, or at least that women should be having with men. Because yeah, dudes, we have a hard time with that. Which is I think also to say, I was having a conversation with a friend about this recently. I'm pretty sure that once I find someone who I think I want to date exclusively,
00:17:36
Speaker
I think I'm going to end the podcast because I don't think I would want to be in a relationship with someone or trying to start a relationship with someone who was podcasting about it.
00:17:56
Speaker
Yeah, and that's not the point of the podcast. The point is not to talk about my personal life here. I think the point is to have more general conversations around the ways that modern dating are weird and the ways that we navigate that. And I think you can do that without talking about specifics. But I think I would just feel weird.
00:18:26
Speaker
shifting into a gear where I'm dating someone exclusively and trying to plant that seed and water it and see what grows while still devoting energy and time and bandwidth towards talking about what it's like to date. And I hope that makes sense, and I hope no one's disappointed about that. But yeah, I'm pretty sure that this thing is gonna
00:18:55
Speaker
If this podcast ends abruptly, it's either because something horrible happened to me or something wonderful. Yeah, you might never get to know which. Yeah.
00:19:24
Speaker
And yeah, just as I've sort of been saying this out loud, as I've been thinking about it and then sort of starting to talk to people, just casually telling folks that I'm thinking about moving, just to kind of feel what it sounds like when I say it out loud. It's been interesting because it's been a very
00:19:53
Speaker
clean split, really. The men to whom I talk to about this just instantly get it. They're either single men who
00:20:09
Speaker
are dating and feel the same way, or they're men in relationships whose male friends feel the same way, right? It's a lot of just sort of dudes, like normally when I tell a dude that I'm thinking moving to LA, they go like, yep, I get it. And the women who I've talked to, mostly,
00:20:36
Speaker
I think from a very, very positive place and a very caring place encouraged me to not give up. I think for them, me talking about moving sounds like giving up.
00:20:51
Speaker
I mean, hashtag not all the women that I've talked to about this, but many of them. I mean, I haven't done a survey with a statistically... Well, I've only talked to a few people about this, but yeah, most of the women that I've talked about this,
00:21:18
Speaker
Yeah, they don't understand. I don't want to say they don't understand. I guess for me, the different responses I've gotten to this idea for me moving has sort of just highlighted the difference between men and women. No, that's not right. The different experiences that men and women have dating and
00:21:43
Speaker
probably anywhere, but certainly in San Francisco. And I would guess it's kind of everywhere. Well, I don't know. At least in San Francisco. That much I can say for sure. Which is, you know, it breaks my heart because what I want to do is sit down and
00:22:11
Speaker
talk to both the men and the women and say, Hey, listen, let me tell you all this stuff that I've learned from having conversations with people. Here's my podcast. Have a listen. Um, and if you're single, let's talk about it. Let's like figure that's, let's get in the weeds, you know, because this is like an important thing. I do think for most people picking your romantic partner is like one of the most important decisions in your life, if not the most important decision in your life. And
00:22:39
Speaker
Yeah, as I've talked to people about thinking about moving for dating, it's just become really apparent to me that we don't, we kind of don't talk. We don't like, at least men and women don't talk to each other. And I think mostly men don't talk to each other about how that works and what that looks like. And I think maybe to an extent, women don't talk to each other about this. I can't really speak to that.
00:23:06
Speaker
I'm not in those spaces, I'm not in those conversations, I don't know. But judging from what some women have said to me over the past few weeks when I've been talking about moving and over the course of all these conversations that I've been having on the podcast and not on the podcast, it just strikes me as weird that this is such an important decision and we treat it
00:23:33
Speaker
It's very taboo, I think, certainly for men, but maybe for women too, very taboo to be vulnerable about it, to talk about it like it's a thing that we're supposed to strategize over to figure out together how it's changing. I don't know how many women talk to each other about what it's like on the dating apps. I'm sure they do more so than men do. I mean, I'd put money on that.
00:24:03
Speaker
I don't know. I think maybe there are women out there. I mean, of course there are women out there. There are all kinds of different women. But it might be that most women don't talk to each other about what the dating apps are like in sort of a vulnerable, personal, useful way as opposed to listening to a podcast about, oh, don't the dating apps suck or watching online content about
00:24:34
Speaker
jokes about the apps. Whatever. Not podcasts, apps. You know what I mean? Anyway, it just kind of made me... Those conversations about leaving, about moving kind of highlighted that for me, which I guess in a way kind of... Well,
00:24:59
Speaker
it hasn't convinced me to stay. I'm not sure if it's really, if that dynamic, if the split between men and women and their experience on the app. So I'm not sure if that, A, I don't think that's unique to San Francisco. I think it's probably worse here than it is most places, but I'm sure it's still there everywhere. So
00:25:22
Speaker
But yeah, anyway, so yeah, I'm thinking seriously about moving to Los Angeles, and I've got another date lined up with someone who I'm excited to meet. Who knows where that's going to go? As with all dating app experiences, I think you don't know anything until you meet.
00:25:42
Speaker
But it's good to be excited to meet somebody. And it's somebody who seems excited to meet me even though I'm flying in, even though I'm not local. So yeah, we'll see how that goes. And I guess one other kind of subject for this one,
00:26:11
Speaker
It's kind of been bouncing around and I haven't really touched on it very much in earlier episodes. And I don't know that I'm ever going to get around to it with chatting with somebody else. I don't know. I do have a couple more awesome people who I would love to have on here.
00:26:29
Speaker
And actually, I would love to have a couple of the previous guests back on to kind of check in on like how things are going and kind of continue previous conversations. We'll see. We'll see how that goes. Yeah, but so for the last kind of little chunk for this short episode, you hear a lot like online or just like in
00:26:57
Speaker
people talking to you about dating and everywhere. People will tell you that some variation of you have to love yourself before you can love someone else or learn to be happy alone so that you can be happy with someone else.
00:27:17
Speaker
some kind of variation on that general idea that doing self-work is important and don't look for someone else to make you happy, that kind of thing. If you're a single person, if you're not a single person, I'm sure you've heard this at some point.
Debating Self-Love and Romantic Connections
00:27:35
Speaker
And I've given a lot of thought to that one because that one always really hits me really hard.
00:27:43
Speaker
And I kind of think it's a little bit bullshit. I think it's okay to crave a romantic connection. I think it's okay to be someone who really
00:28:09
Speaker
feels more complete, that really feels more themselves in a relationship. I just don't think we're solitary animals. I mean, some people are. People are complicated. There's all kinds of different people. But I think in general, I don't want to say the norm. I don't want to say it's most people. But I think it's safe to say that there are a lot of us
00:28:37
Speaker
for whom romantic connection is, it can just be a core component of life. It's a thing we do. And there's a whole conversation to be had about like, is monogamy natural? Is polyamory natural? You can point to country gather, blah, blah, blah, all this kind of stuff.
00:28:59
Speaker
And I think some kind of romantic connection is something that many, many people just fundamentally crave.
00:29:16
Speaker
I think that's okay, much like community, much like friendship and to go lower on Maslov's hierarchy of needs or whatever, like shelter and financial security and knowing that you're going to have your next meal. I think romantic connection is okay if that's a fundamental need for you.
00:29:47
Speaker
Which is to say, I do think it's important to do self-work. I think it's important to do self-work whether you're in a relationship or not in a relationship. Again, when this thing started off, my whole thing was be a dude who goes to therapy. And I do still think therapy is a really good idea, but I definitely want to make room for people who
00:30:08
Speaker
therapy isn't the right way for them to do growth or to work on themselves. It's how I do it, but anyway, you hear what I'm saying. It's important to do work on yourself. It's important to, I think, be realistic about the fact that modern life is nothing like the life that our
00:30:35
Speaker
minds, bodies, and hearts evolved to exist in, right? We don't see our quote-unquote tribe nearly often enough. Well, all kinds of things about modern life. I think it's okay. I think it's okay to not
00:30:59
Speaker
I think it's okay to not be okay while you're looking for that romantic connection. In dating, I guess I can kind of segue this back to the podcasting. In dating, there's often this urge to
00:31:20
Speaker
I should say, I often feel an urge to really put my best foot forward and be the best version of myself and not show what I feel like might come across as desperation or insecurity or to not appear that I'm not okay because I'm trying to be as attractive as possible. I'm trying to sell myself on this first date or second date or third date or whatever.
00:31:50
Speaker
But I'm not saying that it's a good idea to open up with your childhood trauma over appetizers on date one, but to an extent, if I'm on a date, if I'm connecting with someone and
00:32:15
Speaker
I'm trying to put my best foot forward. There's a line, there's a fuzzy line that I think it's really good to walk, which is to say that I am always trying to find a way to be vulnerable on a date. I mean, shocker, I guess, from a guy who makes a podcast talking about how he thinks men should be vulnerable. But
00:32:43
Speaker
I don't know. It's just a topic that I guess I wanted to talk about because it always sort of eats at me. I just think we're all messes and I think you're looking for somebody whose mess is gonna play nice with your mess and you're just gonna keep growing and trying to figure out your messes together as you mush them together and get messy. And I just kind of don't buy
00:33:11
Speaker
there's any other way to do it. Which is to say that if you're out there and you're feeling like, oh crap, I haven't done enough therapy, or I haven't made myself the best version of myself, or I don't deadlift enough yet, or my career isn't where it needs to be yet, or I still think about my ex sometimes. That one, you want to grieve your
00:33:37
Speaker
want to feel your grief and get through that probably. But I think there is this myth of like an idealized self that is ready to be out in the world and ready to connect. And I just don't think that's a healthy concept. And that's something that I struggle with, right? Like
00:34:03
Speaker
you spend enough time trying to date and you sort of learn as you go which lines, which little bits, which pieces of your history, which jokes. You learn the pieces of yourself that do well on lots of dates and you learn which pieces don't. And again, I'm not saying open up with
00:34:32
Speaker
Super messy stuff super duper early because that's not a that's not an accurate depiction of who you are either, right? You're not you are not only your trauma. You are lots and lots of beautiful complex things But you are I think also your mess, right? Anyway, that's something that's always kind of bugged me a little and I and I wanted to I Don't know. I wanted to throw it on here because that's what I felt like talking about today And yeah, you know like
00:35:06
Speaker
if somebody finds out early on in dating because they do enough internet sleuthing or whatever, they figure out that I've got a podcast about this stuff. I don't know.
00:35:20
Speaker
I think it's definitely not a turn on. I don't think anyone's gonna listen to 18 episodes of podcasts to prepare for a first date. They might just see that a podcast exists and make some decisions. I've definitely had dates tell me that they listened to a couple episodes.
00:35:40
Speaker
And I think usually, well, listen, every time someone's told me that they've listened to my podcast, they've told me that they like it. They've told me that they feel like they get to know me a little bit because listen to somebody talk, I think is actually a pretty good way to get to know them, right? Yeah.
00:35:59
Speaker
listening to them talk about like probably vulnerable stuff like this is probably not a terrible way to get to know someone. And if someone gets in here and listens to this podcast and goes like, ew, he goes to therapy or he wants to talk about his feelings and that's like a deal breaker for them. Well, great. Like that's probably me dodging a bullet, right? I mean, in that case, it's definitely me dodging a bullet. Like that's not someone who I'm going to connect with, right? But, you know,
00:36:29
Speaker
I've definitely had, not to get specific, but I've definitely received feedback in the past from women who I was dating that talking about this stuff is not attractive. It's not like a
00:36:54
Speaker
you know, it's not a sexy, shiny, attractive thing. Which I think what that means is that those just weren't the people for me, right? Like everyone's gonna approach this kind of stuff differently, talking stuff out and thinking about it a lot and like having conversations with people who I trust. That's just how I tend to approach big stuff in life.
00:37:25
Speaker
And so that's how I'm approaching this dating thing and making this silly little podcast is, um, you know, it's just a part of that. Um, and if, you know, it's a passion project and it gives me like an outlet to like think out loud about this stuff and, and also it's nice to talk to people in this kind of format because I think, I think like talking to someone about something important while you know you're being recorded kind of kicks your brain into a different,
00:37:56
Speaker
like effort level, you really kind of think hard about what you're gonna say when there's a microphone in your face. I think so that's also been kind of a useful, a way that this thing has been useful for me. But yeah, if somebody is gonna find out that this is the way I approach modern romance, and it's gonna be a deal breaker for them,
00:38:25
Speaker
That probably just means it's not the person for me. I'm not sure that I need somebody who's super passionate about podcasting or that's really, really pumped about me doing this because this is my way of dealing with this stuff and it doesn't necessarily have to be hers.
00:38:47
Speaker
But yeah, anyway, so I don't think you need to be the idealized best version of yourself when you get out there.
The Role of a Fulfilling Partner
00:38:54
Speaker
I think it's okay if as you're dating, you just feel like you're looking for that connection. You really crave that connection. And I don't want to say like you're looking for that missing piece, right?
00:39:09
Speaker
But that language is out there, I think, for a reason. We talk about our better haves and how people complete us and how it feels like the cliche of all that kind of language around how our romantic partner can really feel like an extremely fulfilling and important part of your life. I think it's okay for a romantic partner to be that for you, right?
00:39:33
Speaker
it's okay to be a person who wants that and doesn't have it right now, but is still working towards that in a way that feels smart and healthy for you. Because yeah, we shouldn't be beating ourselves up about how tough it is to find that romantic partnership. I think
00:39:57
Speaker
I think I said this in an episode way early on, but I think it is hard now to be single, not just because the dating apps are predatory. Is that the right word? Let's go with predatory. Not just because the dating apps are not super helpful, but also because partnership is different now. Culturally, partnership is different now than it has been, I think, probably ever.
00:40:39
Speaker
than ever, you can find another human being who you're just really excited about spending a ton of time with and getting to know really, really deeply in a way that probably wasn't there. In a way, it's kind of a hack, right? I don't think it's something that human beings were meant for. It's just kind of a cool thing, it turns out, that we can do.
00:40:51
Speaker
which is great. I think it's more possible now than ever to form a partnership that is between two equals.
00:41:03
Speaker
that I think is totally worth it with these lives that are much, much longer than they were evolved to be, and in a world that is much, much different than the one we evolved to exist in. But I do, I just have that kind of blind faith that it's possible to form that kind of awesome romantic connection. I don't think it's easy. I think it's much, much more difficult than it is to be somebody, you know,
00:41:30
Speaker
generations ago who's getting married because it's the expectation and is staying in the relationship because leaving the relationship means all kinds of negative consequences. Today, it's fine to be single.
00:41:48
Speaker
Rebecca Trasters, All the Single Ladies. I'm almost done with that book. It's a great book. Recommend it. And she talks all about how over the past 100 years, we've seen trends of women staying single because it's good for them. The world's changed a whole lot over the past 100 years, whatever. But yeah, for a lot of women,
00:42:15
Speaker
straight and straightish women, well, for a lot of women, staying single is a pretty good option because partnering up, you know, if you have the option to not, partnering up often happens for women out of necessity, out of like dire necessity. And if you can not do it, it's often better for a woman to not partner up. Anyway, which is just to say that like,
00:42:46
Speaker
we're not doing it because we have to, or for those of us who aren't doing it because we have to. It's a great luxury. It's not easy to find that sort of person who's going to be a close-ish puzzle piece to your puzzle piece. But I do think it's possible. I don't think it's the norm. I don't know, maybe I can't really speak to that. I
00:43:16
Speaker
I do think more and more that's kind of what we're looking for in a partnership is that awesome partner who is a close-ish fit for your puzzle piece. And I think that's great. I think there's very little more noble than that, maybe not noble, very little more fulfilling than that that you can do with your time. And if you end up making a family with that person, amazing. You get to model that kind of
00:43:45
Speaker
healthy, interesting, supportive partnership for your kids who are going to go into the world and think like, okay, cool, that's what a relationship looks like. That's what I'm going to go looking for. Yeah, I don't know. And to get really grandiose, I think that's a good thing. On a societal level, it is good for people to sort of learn what a healthy, supportive relationship looks like.
00:44:10
Speaker
Anyway, yeah, I think it's worth it. Okay, that's what I got for this time around.
Final Thoughts on Relocation and Podcast Conclusion
00:44:15
Speaker
I'm gonna turn this thing off. I will hopefully have guests coming up for a couple of future episodes, but yeah.
00:44:25
Speaker
If this podcast stops putting on episodes, it's because I met somebody awesome and it's time for me to put my energy into growing something awesome with her or it's because something horrible has happened to me and I'm not able to get in front of a microphone for a variety of horrible reasons.
00:44:52
Speaker
But yeah, either way, I think I will be in Los Angeles soon. So I don't know, wish me luck. And yeah, that's what I got for you this time around. Okay, love you.