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Trauma Responses vs The Portal of Grief with Lillian Eve Moore
42 Plays1 day ago
Lillian Eve Moore is a trauma expert and teacher known for her surgical precision, radical love, and optimistic approach to transformation. With more than twenty years of experience, she helps clients resolve trauma with uncommon speed by blending somatics, nervous-system work, energy medicine, and mindset tools, teaching them to work with themselves so breakthroughs become fast and lasting.
Her Treasure Hunting framework views every part of the psyche as precious material for creation. Trauma isn’t something to move past, it’s raw potential that, once alchemized, becomes the foundation for a life that wasn’t possible before. Influenced by motherhood, entrepreneurship, global travel, and a deep relationship with nature, Lillian’s work is both deeply human and profoundly efficient. Through mentoring and online programs, she guides clients into clarity, courage, and creative power.
Connect with Lillian Eve Moore: https://www.lillianevemoore.com/
Contact Kendra Rinaldi: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/
Show Highlights & Themes:
- Grief as a "Portal": Lillian explains that grief is not something to be "healed" or "fixed". Instead, it is a beautiful portal that connects us to the eternal and the transient nature of existence.
- Trauma vs. Grief: While grief is a natural initiation, trauma acts as "undigested information" that can block us from fully moving through the grief portal.
- The Past is "Fiction": Lillian shares a profound perspective that whatever you experience in your mind is real to your body, regardless of objective facts. Because of this, the stories we tell ourselves about our past trauma can be rewritten to support our healing.
- 3 Steps to Process Trauma: Discover a simple formula for working with trauma: 1) get in touch with the wound, 2) give it kind or accepting attention, and 3) utilize the body's natural metabolism (like walking, EFT tapping, or EMDR) to process it.
- Manifestation for Trauma Survivors: For those whose nervous systems are dysregulated, standard "law of attraction" advice can feel invalidating. Lillian reframes manifestation not as acquiring things, but as an identity question: "Who do I want to be?".
- The Treasure Hunting Framework: Learn how to retrain your brain to look for "berries instead of tigers" by actively seeking evidence of love and goodness to build a new, healed identity.
- Nothing Cannot Be Healed: The episode concludes with a powerful message of hope—there is absolutely nothing that cannot be healed.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Healing Trauma Formula
00:00:00
Speaker
I have a very, very simple formula for working with trauma and you'll recognize it in easy listening. You'll recognize it in any experience that you've ever had that was healing, whether it was with a practitioner or whether it was you and your dog on a walk.
00:00:17
Speaker
The three components are being in touch with the wound or the pain or the information
00:00:26
Speaker
being in touch with it in a kind way. So giving it kind attention, loving attention, friendly attention. If you can't muster any of that, acceptance. Letting it be there without adding pain.
Podcast Focus Introduction
00:00:41
Speaker
Welcome to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray-In-Between podcast. I'm your host, Kendra Rinaldi. This is a space to explore the full spectrum of grief, from the kind that comes with death to the kind that shows up in life's many transitions.
00:00:58
Speaker
Through stories and conversations, we remind each other that we're not alone. Your journey matters, and here we're figuring it out together. Let's dive right in to today's episode.
00:01:18
Speaker
Let's start with a quick disclaimer. This podcast includes personal stories and perspectives on topics like grief, health, and mental wellness. The views expressed by guests are their own and may reflect individual experiences that are not meant as medical advice.
00:01:36
Speaker
As the host, I hold space for diverse voices, but that does not mean I endorse every viewpoint shared. Please listen with care and take what resonates with you.
Lillian Eve Moore's Background
00:01:47
Speaker
Welcome. Today i am chatting with Lillian Eve Moore. She is a trauma specialist, educator, and entrepreneur whose work is rooted in fierce compassion and crystal clear insight. She walks alongside people who are ready not just to heal, but to rise, helping them move from patterns of self-sabotage into grounded creative work.
00:02:14
Speaker
Welcome, Lillian. Thank you, Kendra. Thanks for having me Thank you for coming on the space and sharing your story. And trauma is a big one. when it comes to grief, because a lot of times some of the grief that we experience is associated with a trauma that we've been through. So this will be a very interesting conversation for our listeners to dive into. I want to get to learn about you. So share with us a bit about your upbringing and also where you are now.
00:02:48
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I had a very dynamic upbringing. i had a lot of, I would say, spiritual resource. I grew up and practicing alongside different Native American traditions.
00:03:02
Speaker
and My family is Christian, so we had we read from the Bible. I also had a neighbor that was ah a Hindu temple. so I had a lot of spiritual resource, and i I grew up running around barefoot in in Texas. So um that was sort of the context, but also my biological mom is schizophrenic and and my stepmom had a life changing injury when I was nine years old. So I had a lot of trauma, spent a lot of time in both psychotherapy and and psychiatry and ah as a very young kid.
00:03:38
Speaker
So those two worlds combined created a kind of ecosystem and need to just love the psyche and also be somewhat dissatisfied with some of the solutions that are mainstream?
00:03:53
Speaker
That are out there.
Combining Spiritual and Psychological Practices
00:03:54
Speaker
It's, it's, It's interesting because a lot of times, and I think a lot of the guests that I have that now do work that have to do either with trauma or with grief, like in my case, we've had our own experiences and it's because of these life-changing experiences that then our life really does change. And then we have something then to give forward you know to you know to others based on our own learning. So in your own life, a lot of that.
00:04:21
Speaker
happened. when did it When did your interest for all this like completely like shift and like this is where I'm going to go into learning more? like Was it in your teenage years or already in your college years?
00:04:34
Speaker
No, younger. i mean i was i was doing i got my my first atonement when I was nine or eight. and i was I would rescue animals out of the pool and do Reiki on them.
00:04:46
Speaker
I mean, one of the first books that I really remember ah as a kid was Reviving Ophelia, which is ah it's a book written for psychotherapists about teenage girls.
00:04:59
Speaker
So you so with the psychotherapy, Reiki, all these two worlds combined somatically. So how do you combine these two into your practice?
00:05:13
Speaker
Well, a lot of the older religions, are psychological. they you If you study um Tantra, for example, you study yoga, it's it's largely about disciplining the mind and and allowing emotions to move.
00:05:30
Speaker
So the principles, and the same thing is true in a lot of the Native American practices, where it's it's it's about, a lot of these spiritual practices are really about mental and emotional health.
Grief vs. Trauma
00:05:43
Speaker
and and devotion to having a good life, not just to a God, but devotion to life itself. So they're not, they're not, it's not so much a, it wasn't a leap,
00:05:56
Speaker
yeah it's not separate. A lot of times we tend to think that it's so different, but a lot of times really science and spirituality can be very much intertwined because there is a lot of science within it too, right? Like there's, yeah, there's something can be intertwined.
00:06:14
Speaker
Yeah. And I think also when you're thinking about psychotherapic sort of psychotherapeutic practices, there's ideas and then there's There's that the touch it, taste it, feel it, experience it aspect of the psyche, which we all live inside of.
00:06:32
Speaker
And again, i'm I'm very modality agnostic, and I'm much more interested in what is it what is the experience of being human like? And a lot of these practices, a lot of these spiritual practices, they're they're based in how do we work directly with the psyche. They're not theoretical. They're very practical.
00:06:53
Speaker
And there's some is there some more modern psychotherapeutic practices that that have that as well. um But a lot of it is a little bit more removed.
00:07:04
Speaker
it's It's removed from the lived experience of being human.
00:07:09
Speaker
So share with us some of these practices and some of these tips that can help somebody if by chance they've experienced trauma and grief at the same time. Like if the person that if somebody died, for example, in a traumatic way, my sister died in a car accident. So for example, that's a trauma type of grief or sudden, right? So the body is assimilating it a little different because it didn't have any preparation. How are some, what are some of the practices or messy ways that you can help with somebody like that?
00:07:48
Speaker
So first of all, it's helpful to organize because one of the reasons why we experience trauma is because it's too much too fast. you can think about trauma as information. It's information for life. Like death is a part of life. Pain is a part of life.
00:08:03
Speaker
So in order to address something that has happened or that's living in our system in a way that doesn't just re-traumatize us, we want to create organization first. So in talking about grief, I always think about grief as two components at minimum.
00:08:20
Speaker
One is what I call the portal of grief, which is it's that's a beautiful thing that puts us in contact with the eternal. that That's our recognition of impermanence.
00:08:33
Speaker
And a lot of times in the portal of grief, when we experience the transient nature of existence, our heart opens and we get to places of unanswerable questions. We experience expansion. We experience steps of love.
00:08:49
Speaker
And that's not to say it's not painful. In fact, portal grief can be really, really, really brutally painful. But nothing there's nothing out of out of harmony with that. And it is it is a kind of an initiation. And I think anybody who's gone through grief and has gotten all the way to the other side of it, a lot of these things that are really annoying to hear when it first happens, like, oh, they'll always be with you, or you know that pain is just love. Those things are so horrible to hear at the funeral.
00:09:20
Speaker
at the funeral But five years later, you know that it's true if you do if you are able to heal. One of the things that I think keeps people from going through the portal of grief is the trauma. So they're really separate things.
00:09:37
Speaker
And the trauma is where we feel like we have undigested information about our relationship with the person, about the person, about how they passed.
00:09:49
Speaker
It can be a lot of times people, you know especially with parents, experience or experience a lot of their childhood trauma when a parent passes. Because it's sort of like whatever you were imagining was in the relational liminal space, it's now all on you.
00:10:06
Speaker
And it always was, actually. But the way that we can come compartmentalize and say, like oh, that's about the relationship. And it it lands on us.
00:10:17
Speaker
So that's the first thing, is just recognizing that There's nothing wrong with grief. And grief isn't even, I wouldn't even consider grief something to heal. Grief is good. Grief is like growing pains. grief is Grief is good.
00:10:31
Speaker
um So that's the first thing is just know that. Know that there's nothing wrong with feeling grief and and that portal can last. It can last days and it can last years. And there's value to value to fast in terms of moving through the grief portal because it's a place of resource, the place of connecting with God if you are connecting with higher power or whatever, connecting with the person that you lost, connecting with yourself.
Techniques for Processing Trauma
00:11:01
Speaker
So trauma, separate issue. I have a very, very simple formula for working with trauma and you'll recognize it in any of you listening. You'll recognize it in any experience that you've ever had that was healing.
00:11:15
Speaker
whether it was with a practitioner or whether it was you and your dog on a walk. The three components are being in touch with the wound or the pain or the information,
00:11:30
Speaker
being in touch with it in a kind way. So giving it kind attention, loving attention, friendly attention. If you can't muster any of that, acceptance. Letting it be there without adding pain.
00:11:45
Speaker
And then the third component is we need to make it meaningful to the body. So that means we need to feel the wound in the body. and you have that in contact feeling. You're like, oh, there it is.
00:11:56
Speaker
That the kindness or the acceptances in the body, that means like we actually relax. We actually feel what it feels like ah to create space around it. And then you utilize the body's natural metabolism to process. So going for a walk, yoga asana, taking deep breaths.
00:12:15
Speaker
um Any Qigong practices like the padding. and EFT is one of my favorite ones where you tap on meridian points. and mdr great one, where you simulate eye rapid eye movement.
00:12:30
Speaker
and And so like experiencing them, they play with posture, holding and releasing. So all of these practices, simple as even petting your dog is a physical practice that actually creates ph physicalys physiological and retraining.
00:12:48
Speaker
There's a lot. It's a lot. And as you're saying this, I am petting my dog this moment as you're talking. Yeah. yeah It is, yeah these senses, we you we can utilize them all in a way that can support our healing. And each of us has sometimes some senses that tend to be, that we gravitate towards, like if it's auditory or you know or touch or whichever one it is, if it's and
00:13:18
Speaker
If it's auditory, then you might want to go listen to music and go listen to little birds chirping, you know, whatever it may be, right? So I completely agree. I love the way that you describe this portal of grief, and I can relate to it so much of this...
00:13:38
Speaker
this beauty that comes from being in it. And like you said, there is nothing wrong with grief. We tend to put it as if it's an, we tend to categorize emotions as if they're good or bad.
00:13:50
Speaker
And there's, they're just, they're emotions, they're right. It's part of our human and grief is it's part of part of that.
Rewriting Trauma Narratives and Personal Experience Validity
00:13:59
Speaker
So i love that.
00:14:02
Speaker
So what do most of your clients come to you with? are the arts Because sometimes traumas that we may have, some are very obvious, right?
00:14:15
Speaker
Sometimes traumas can be the way that our childlike mind perceived ah a situation and how it we you know kind of went into our brain and how it saved it there as a trauma and somebody else viewing it or as an adult viewing it, you may not see it as that Can you talk a little bit about that, about how our how our brain may store information and feelings received?
00:14:45
Speaker
Yes. So I have two things to say about this that are a little bit contradictory, and they always land a little differently depending on where a person is with their trauma. I say that the past is fiction.
00:14:59
Speaker
That there's really, like if it's not happening now, if you're experiencing it, it's happening in your mind.
00:15:09
Speaker
period. And there's no exception to that. doesn't matter if you just came home from war or if it was emotional twistiness that happened in your childhood that who knows if anyone else would have noticed even if they'd been in the room.
00:15:23
Speaker
It doesn't matter how physical it was, how obvious it was. What you experience in your own mind is real because it's real to your body. So it's unreal and it's real.
00:15:36
Speaker
It's fiction. It's ah it it it And what this freezes up to understand is that it doesn't actually matter what really happened. Because it's happening in your mind.
00:15:48
Speaker
And a lot of times people will be unsure or feel very, and like, did it happen? They'll maybe trip up on... you know We gaslight ourselves. We gaslight ourselves in our own way. Yeah. Yeah. We doubt it.
00:16:03
Speaker
And the way I approach that is that sometimes the psyche will conjure a story to explain an emotion, but the emotion is real. So it doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter if the story is real or if it's conjured.
00:16:14
Speaker
It doesn't matter what happened because your emotional experience is real and you want to deal with it as if it's real. Period. Now, that doesn't mean you want to deal with it in your relationships as if it's real.
00:16:27
Speaker
Because again, a lot of times, you know, we carry forward these stories that if somebody else was to tell the story, they might tell a really different story. And we want to have respect for people having very different experiences oh of what happened, especially if we were children and you know, our imaginations do so much creating And I've had so many experiences. I'll tell one story of this idea that I had of my parents getting married. So my stepmom and my dad getting married.
00:17:00
Speaker
In my entire childhood, this story was told about what a brat I was during that day. i was three and a half. And my entire life, I've been told this story.
00:17:11
Speaker
And i always heard that story and felt like, Like, screw you. Like, how dare you? That was such a, what a moment that was for me.
00:17:21
Speaker
And to tell the story in that way. And then I had it in my mind that nobody was caring for my my feelings during that time. And it fit into a story I had about my childhood.
00:17:33
Speaker
I was doing this work with myself. And this this image flashed in my mind of the photos from the wedding day. And I'm being held by my dad. And I had this realize realization. On his wedding day, there is not a single photo of him without me in his arms.
00:17:52
Speaker
Not a single, right? Right? it's
00:17:59
Speaker
Like I could torment myself with that. I'm like, we're both crying, by the way, people. if You're not seeing us right now because you're just hearing the podcast.
00:18:12
Speaker
Oh, so sweet and So it's like that the the the themes that I felt about my story with my dad, they're not they're not totally made up. There were things, but where I got it from and what I did with it.
00:18:28
Speaker
So the beauty of this is that a lot of the stories that we tell about our lives can be rewritten and it's and it's not any more fiction than whatever the horror story that we were telling was. And again, this is one of the more amorphous ones. And I do work with people who've been you know, all kinds of horror stories, really, truly.
00:18:45
Speaker
And I would say that the same things apply. Any story can be rewritten because if it's alive now, it's alive in your body and nowhere else.
00:18:55
Speaker
And what you, what you're saying, I know you said it's like some are really like big traumas, but in our brain, that trauma is still a trauma like what you thinking that you were being neglected on that wedding day, which however was that you were feeling and your emotions not being validated maybe of this experience of your parents, because this is your stepmom who raised you right, having to, ah you know, I don't know, whatever it was on that day is just as valid as somebody or a different version of yourself living something else that was even...
00:19:35
Speaker
let's say more traumatic, but it's like comparing griefs, right? When we put it ourselves into this grief comparison, is like, oh, well, ah I don't know, like maybe it's like, oh, it was your dog that died. Well, mine was my parent. Well, that doesn't matter. Like the lived experience of that person and what it feels to lose, you know, that being in your life is just as valid as somebody else's. The same with,
00:20:02
Speaker
trauma So to put them into categories, even in our own mind, sometimes doesn't give them space to be yeah and validating those, right? In order to be able to heal them or address them and see them as what they are, right?
00:20:20
Speaker
I will say that there it is it can be helpful to differentiate between different kinds. There's different struggles that come from different things like yeah emotional, um emotion I call it twistiness. It's like when you're when you feel like you just kind of got messed with.
00:20:35
Speaker
That can create a lot of internal insecurity and confusion and where you don't trust your own thoughts. And especially when it happens when you're really young. When it's physical, it can be really stored in the body.
00:20:48
Speaker
So it can be hard to access psychologically and yet you you have movie you more physical restrict yeah physical responses. So it's not that your individual experience and the nuance of it, it's all the same. It's not.
00:21:02
Speaker
But it's not the orders of magnitude don't matter as much as really meeting and understanding what is happening in your body present day. That's really the whole point. So we we investigate the past to better understand what's happening present day. yes Otherwise, the past doesn't really matter so much. and Like I said, it can be rewritten.
00:21:22
Speaker
Yes, I love that.
00:21:28
Speaker
Hi, I just wanted to take a quick pause and ask that if this episode is speaking to you, I'd love for you to subscribe to my newsletter. Just go to my web website, Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between, and you will be receiving some of my newsletters I send every probably couple of weeks.
00:21:50
Speaker
Also, if someone has popped into your mind and you feel that this is something that would resonate with, please send them this episode right now because it may just be what they needed to hear.
00:22:05
Speaker
Now let's get back to the show.
00:22:15
Speaker
Now we're talking about present. Now let's talk about future. and ne where As we're recording this, it's and it will air a few months down the line probably, but it's the early of the new year and this is when people start making these manifestations and kind of visualizing their future.
00:22:34
Speaker
Now... How does something with trauma, like how does that, like does manifesting have weight with somebody that is still navigating something
Manifestation and Positive Thinking
00:22:47
Speaker
their lives? love this question. I love this question so much because I feel like people who've experienced trauma are so left out of the manifestation conversation.
00:22:55
Speaker
I feel like whenever I listen to like law attraction stuff with Abraham Hicks, for example, and a lot of times it's channeled work and I'm like, yeah, get in get a nervous system and say that to me. Just think positive, right? Come down here and you live on planet Earth and think positive. Right, when your brain is all over the place. yeah Yeah, so I really appreciate um yeah i appreciate you you opening up the space to talk about it.
00:23:22
Speaker
I was thinking about it when you were asking me to first tell my story about like when was I first interested and how how could it be accidental that at eight years old, I'm reading the Bible, at 12 years old, i'm reading I'm reading psychological literature, and that I have this perfect confluence of influences. both the traumatic ones and the supportive ones, I just don't think anything goes wrong, period.
00:23:51
Speaker
And i'm I'm telling you this is somebody, again, I've worked with veterans, I work with sexual assault survivors, I work with people who literally the the worst stories that happen on planet Earth, I hear them, and I just don't believe anything goes wrong, period.
00:24:05
Speaker
Hopefully that's a comforting thought thought. I know sometimes when you're in grief hearing things like that, you're like, ugh, Shut up when people try and put a positive spin on it. But I've just seen too many stories like mine where it's almost, it's more like curriculum. It's like, it's, it's like hero's journey that the things that we experience, they mold us into people that we want to become.
00:24:33
Speaker
It's not on accident. And so when we're thinking about law of attraction, we're thinking about manifestation, we're thinking about setting goals. To me, that is always actually an identity question.
00:24:45
Speaker
It's not about who do I, what do I want to have? It's always about who do I want to be and what would that person have or what could I have that would help me be that person? But it's always that we have an idea, an aspirational idea of who it is that we want to be.
00:24:59
Speaker
So for somebody who's experienced trauma, what I would recommend that you start practicing is start seeing if you can inch your way towards thinking about that person. Because that person is just as real as the person that you could say you are because of your trauma.
00:25:15
Speaker
Say that it it's not a, it's it's you're not having to force anything really. It's already in you. And even the reason why we feel pain is because we have a relationship with something that's not pain. Right.
00:25:28
Speaker
It's the contrast that makes us feel it. So for example, I notice that a lot of times when people are in grief or they're processing trauma, you get very backwards focused. You get very pain focused. And that's not a character flaw, that's biology. That if there's a tiger in the room, we look at the tiger, even if there's also berries in the room.
00:25:45
Speaker
That's just a biological function. So if we can have a victory of human spirit over our instincts and start to tear our eyes away from the tiger,
00:25:58
Speaker
and start looking for berries. We do multiple things. We we actually change our our orientation so that we have we start being observant of what's good, which will help us to feel better, which will help us see what's good and then act on what's good, be more opportunity aware, and things start improving really rapidly from that.
00:26:20
Speaker
Also, having good hormones in your system will help you heal. So if you can look at a berry, it actually will help you deal with the tiger and vice versa. So in the story with ah that I was talking about with my dad, healing my relationship with my dad, at that time, I was sleeping in a tent next to my best friend in the entire universe.
00:26:40
Speaker
And I was on a two-week vacation. rock climbing trip, I was in the epitome of berries. Like life was very, very, very good in that moment. So I had a lot of support to move through that, to heal that.
00:26:53
Speaker
So that context supported me. And then that shift, when the shift happened, I became aware of a different reality. And from that reality, I could actually be something different.
00:27:05
Speaker
Who am I if I have always had a dad who loved me, which I did, who always prioritized me, which I did. Who am I? What kind of resources do I have? Versus being a person who is always overcoming not having that.
00:27:20
Speaker
So there's two components. It's like one, what good can you give yourself now? What good could you be willing to pay attention to? Good in yourself, good in God, good in the earth, good in in your community, good in the flowers in the field, whatever you can get. I like the color of my paint on my walls.
00:27:39
Speaker
Anything you can get. Is this the treasure hunting framework? Is this the treasure hunting framework that you'd work on? You're finding these treasures. I actually consider the pain the treasure, not just the good things. It's all treasure. Okay.
00:27:53
Speaker
And then you you you fill yourself up with that, and then you meet your pain with that. So when we're talking about meeting the pain with kindness, so that's that's the first piece is that we we need to conjure goodness in order to meet the pain.
00:28:06
Speaker
So we have medicine to offer the pain. Then when the pain subsides, when when we find a moment of relief, recognize it and run with it Don't just go look for the next one.
00:28:17
Speaker
There's other memories I have with my dad. There's other memories I have with my stepmom. For sure. But if I don't give myself a moment to actually re-receive the relief that I feel, then i don't have I don't have a possibility of creating something new with it.
00:28:35
Speaker
So I can do a lot with this. with this identity of having been important, been invested in, been cherished, been paid attention to. I can fill myself up with that and that will support the identity of the person who I want to be, who has the things that I want to have, who's experiencing the life that I want to experience.
00:28:54
Speaker
its exactly Yes, yes, there's evidence because the moment you find also evidence of that in your brain, then you're telling your brain, look, you are like you're you're you're just finding that little file cabinet in your brain to then pull it out and say, hey, listen.
00:29:12
Speaker
you've been doing this file cabinet for way too long. We're going to go into this file. I like to visualize that. We're going to go into this file cabinet because listen, you've done it. You've been this, you've, you know, that, that kind of ah experience. I think of that with, even with resilience of the human spirit in general, like we sometimes think we have not,
00:29:34
Speaker
gone gone through something horrible and come to through the through right to the other side for air yet if we look back in our timeline we have it just doesn't look exactly the same but we have in the moment we find that we can show our brain basically like listen
Cultivating Inner Voice and Emotional Stability
00:29:54
Speaker
yeah we we can do it we can do hard things and and that gives us that kind of puts them the roller coaster, like the little, cut me back in that in that little roller coaster of the rain. i have I'm not a scientist. I do not know. I'm a theater major. So all my things are more like, let me see the visuals of how this could work it my yeah in my brain. Does that apply? Now tell it to us scientifically, since I just said it like in a little roller coaster ride of what happens in our brain. Yeah.
00:30:29
Speaker
Yes. So what you're doing in all of these, in all, everything that we're describing is about retraining the brain. And it's helpful to understand that all you're dealing with, all you're dealing with is patterns and habits.
00:30:43
Speaker
That we're basically held together by a pattern, by a habit. are The vibrating of our cells that keeps us, the vibrating of our atoms that keeps us ah in physical form. the The thought patterns, it's all about habits, all about thinking the same thing over and over again. i mean We just poop into vapor, into nothingness.
00:31:02
Speaker
So we can change habits. And one of the principal habits that we're train changing is when we look at something that has made us feel terrible and we look at it with joy.
00:31:14
Speaker
Even if it feels terrible, we look at the feeling terrible with joy. we start to change our brain chemistry. We try to start to change the neural pathways. We start to change our physiology around something.
00:31:27
Speaker
You see something and it makes you, and your blood starts boiling and your face is flush and you can't think anymore. And then in that moment, if you can bring in kind of a meta version of yourself that looks at that and says, that's okay. It's okay that you feel that way.
00:31:41
Speaker
That becomes dominant. And then that will become, eventually that will become the the way that you respond to the thing that triggered you before. And what you were saying. Like an override, overriding that, yeah that programming right there. Yes, because the positive emotion is dominant. And this is a cool study that I heard about where they actually increase serotonin levels in primates.
00:32:04
Speaker
And and ha primates with higher serotonin levels will rise in rank. So this is something that's helpful to understand if you're in a leadership position, if you have a leadership position with your own kids or in your own household, that that if you are more emotionally stable, you actually have more power.
00:32:24
Speaker
And this happens internally in our internal relationship as well. So it's a part of yourself that has more emotional capacity. The one that is more emotionally generous, the one that is kinder, that kind inner voice has more and that kind inner voice has more power than anything else, than any demeaning voice in any terrible story you have about yourself.
00:32:48
Speaker
And it's so nice to think of that, that the that the kind, loving, mothering, parenting kind of version of our own voice is the one that can can take the wheel because we we often just...
00:33:05
Speaker
free, you know, just allow it to just kind of just go wild and to think of it in that nurturing, loving way. just changes everything. within Yeah. we We do sometimes have like the four-year-old running the show inside.
00:33:21
Speaker
i've I've heard like the monkey brain, you know, like, ah you know, that when you have like a drunken monkey in your brain, that drunken monkey being the one that's running the the show in your brain. Yeah. you You said something that was really, really smart word. You use the word evidence.
00:33:41
Speaker
This is a great word because we can find evidence for absolutely anything. And it relates to this brain training that we're talking about. and it relates to gratitude and it relates to grief. So in the if I use the the antidote about my about my dad, and I think about the things that I was able to access, if I looked for those same things,
00:33:58
Speaker
before i had that that healing event, it would be really hard for me to find the evidence of that in my life. Because I have an underlying foundational story that I'm coming from a deficit.
00:34:10
Speaker
But if I've changed that story, so I've healed the underlying trauma, now I can actually look for evidence of this in my life in the present day. And that will forward, that will, it's evidence that I can have what I want.
00:34:22
Speaker
So we're thinking about manifestation and anybody anybody who's listening who's studied this at all, a lot of it, a lot of what manifestation is really about, it's about getting an agreement with yourself, getting your mind and your emotions in agreement. So everybody's pointed in the same direction.
00:34:36
Speaker
You want what you want, you believe you can have it, and you feel good when you think about it. So this kind of ah of a healing event provides evidence and support for that, both from a belief perspective, because I've had it before, I can have it again.
00:34:51
Speaker
and and also from an emotional perspective of like that feeling of safety, that feeling of being loved. And when we're thinking about manifesting, especially a lot of times it has to do with feeling loved by the universe, feeling feeling loved by God, feeling like we're worthy at a very foundational level.
00:35:06
Speaker
That kind of stuff tends to come from our our first relationships. It has to do oftentimes with what we learned from our parents about our worthiness and our our own goodness.
00:35:17
Speaker
So you can use a healing event like that to practice and cultivate those feelings inside of yourself and look for evidence of it in your in your present moment life. I love that. Yeah, you have to kind of like back to even with the treasure hunting. It's like also just like, what are you Like what what are your glasses in that moment look like in order to be able to see that? What kind of lens are you viewing it through? And the moment you change the lens, then you're really able to really see it and as that. So that addressing the actual trauma in order to be able to to view it in a different way. Yeah. And you can do it both ways. You can do it healing first and then mindset, or you can do it mindset first and then healing.
00:36:05
Speaker
I love that. Yeah, because it's a lot of times, have you ever seen the the the power post, the whole thing of like that the moment when you change the power post? Yeah, you can physically do something that changes your inside and the same thing goes here. You just you just choose which route you're going. And you'll still be able to get to the same same result. So I want to hear more about how people can work with you and the things you offer, whether it's online, whether it's workshops, whether it's one-on-one. Share with the audience what you offer to to us, please.
00:36:43
Speaker
Yeah, so I have a lot of digital programs that include sessions, recorded sessions with me. I like this because I'm a firm believer in DIY healing. I think that the mental health industry is doing just fine.
00:36:58
Speaker
um and This isn't, you know, if you need it, get it. But I also really believe that we all need to know how to work with our own minds and our own
Lillian's Approach to Empathy and Healing Programs
00:37:06
Speaker
emotions. So I really do my best to support people in becoming their own best practitioner.
00:37:12
Speaker
So you yeah, there's a lot of digital programs that I have. Treasure hunting, the I have a treasure hunting sessions, which is a digital program where you can listen to those sessions with me. i also have a clinic.
00:37:24
Speaker
So if you do want to work with me in a group setting, I give one-on-one sessions. And then I also do occasionally take private clients, although that's a little fewer and far between. But yeah, you can find um treasure hunt the treasure hunting sessions and the treasure hunting clinics would be the best way to continue work together.
00:37:41
Speaker
As you said that of the one-on-one clients, it's like another question came up to me. For you, as you're doing this, since as somebody that has been through trauma, when you're guiding somebody, how do you protect your own your own um field, your own energy field in that process, because you are constantly even revisiting even maybe your own. So doing one-on-one, because when you have workshops and things like that, that you're not having to listen to somebody else and the input of that information, right?
00:38:17
Speaker
So how do you do that? How do you protect your own? I don't. I just let it pierce my heart. I just let it all the way in. Because how dare I? How dare i sit there across from somebody and tell them that they can heal while hold myself away from what they're feeling?
00:38:38
Speaker
The protection that I have is my own is my own strength of my nervous system. And that's been cultivated to heal my own trauma. As practitioners, we we come we struggle with this when somebody else's thing hits our thing and it's unresolved.
00:38:56
Speaker
then we feel a pain that is that needs to be addressed. When we're feeling pain on behalf of another person, it's like the grief portal. It's, it's thank thank you, God, for letting me be in contact with this person. Thank you for letting me understand their world. Thank you for letting me in
00:39:16
Speaker
That is so beautiful because you're just being part of that, witnessing, right, that and being just human. And I love what you said, that the fact that it when it touches that point, it's also information you are receiving. So as a practitioner, then in that moment, you're receiving information that there's still part of you that still needs some attention if it hits you in a way that hits. So it's information that I love. Thank you so much, Lillian, for sharing that. Lillian, as I closing out, and I'll make sure to add, of course, people if you're wanting to reach out, your websites are in the show notes, if you want to just say it out loud too, in case somebody doesn't want to scroll down, what's your website so that people can reach you?
00:40:00
Speaker
Yeah, LillianEMoore.com. First, middle, and last name all together in.com. Perfect. Now, I like to always ask this to my of my guests is is there anything I have not asked you that you want to make sure that you share with the audience?
00:40:20
Speaker
um I would love for you to ask me if there's anything that cannot be healed.
00:40:27
Speaker
hence Tell us. Is there? No, there's nothing that cannot be healed. Oh. That's also why I don't have to protect myself.
Closing Remarks and Gratitude
00:40:37
Speaker
Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you, Lillian.
00:40:50
Speaker
thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief.
00:41:03
Speaker
If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:41:19
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me.
00:41:31
Speaker
And thanks once again for tuning in to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray In Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.