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From Pain to Poetry: Navigating Loss and Finding a Voice with Spoken Word with Tiriq Rashad Callaway
30 Plays1 day ago
Tiriq Rashad Callaway is a spoken-word artist, recording poet, and storyteller whose work blends emotional depth, cinematic soundscapes, and lived experience. His EP When the HeArt Speaks earned official GRAMMY® consideration, and his latest album Kiss My Art has further solidified his voice across the poetry and music landscape.
Featured in Ebony Magazine and celebrated by the late Nikki Giovanni—who praised him as “a poet with vision beyond his years”—Tiriq uses vulnerability, narrative, and performance to explore grief, healing, identity, and purpose. He has also taken the TEDx stage, sharing his powerful perspective on innovation, compassion, and storytelling.
Through his art, Tiriq aims to move audiences toward connection, reflection, and emotional truth—one poem, performance, and project at a time."
Links & Socials:
• Website: tiriqrashad.com
Contact Kendra Rinaldi: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/
Show Highlights:
- The Journal as a Best Friend: Growing up in a culture where "boys don't cry," Tiriq found his emotional outlet in a notebook, which became his "therapist and counselor" to process everything from childhood responsibilities to heartbreaks.
- A Hero’s Passing: Tiriq shares the tragic yet heroic story of his mother, who passed away in 2021 while stopping on a highway to save a stranger from a burning vehicle—a final act of service that defined her life.
- The "Tug of War" on Sacrifice: Reflecting on his mother's death, Tiriq discusses the internal conflict between honoring her selfless legacy and his own need to preserve his life for his children.
- The "Achilles Moment": After tearing his Achilles tendon and losing a corporate job opportunity, Tiriq was forced to sit still and reflect, leading him back to his true purpose of writing and creating his memoir.
- Navigating Compound Grief: Tiriq opens up about the immense weight of losing his brother, his mother, and his unborn daughter in a short span of time, and how he used art to heal.
- Self-Care is Not Selfish: Through his song "No Regrets," Tiriq emphasizes that prioritizing your own mental health is essential, as you cannot be a light for your family or community if you do not take care of yourself first.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Her last breath, her last action was an act of love, an act of service. And it's just a testament of who she's been her entire life, but also speaks volumes to who I
00:00:18
Speaker
Welcome to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray-In-Between Podcast. I'm your host, Kendra Rinaldi. This is a space to explore the full spectrum of grief, from the kind that comes with death to the kind that shows up in life's many transitions.
00:00:35
Speaker
Through stories and conversations, we remind each other that we're not alone. Your journey matters, and here we're figuring it out together. Let's dive right in to today's episode.
00:00:58
Speaker
Let's start with a quick disclaimer. This podcast includes personal stories and perspectives on topics like grief, health, and mental wellness. The views expressed by guests are their own and may reflect individual experiences that are not meant as medical advice.
00:01:16
Speaker
As the host, I hold space for diverse voices, but that does not mean I endorse every viewpoint shared. Please listen with care and take what resonates with you.
Meet Tariq Rashad Calloway
00:01:28
Speaker
Hello. On today's episode, I am chatting with Tariq Rashad Calloway. He is a spoken word artist. He's a recording poet, a storyteller, and he blends his emotional depth and lived experiences into just this beautiful art piece, really. He has just recently released his EP, which at at the moment of recording called He Art Speaks, and it earned an official Grammy consideration. Congrats for that. And then his latest album album was Kiss My Art, and I am excited to get to chat with you. Welcome, Tariq. Thank you so much, Kendra, for that intro, and thank you for having me. i appreciate it
00:02:16
Speaker
Thank you. Well, I love to have diverse voices on my podcast and diverse ways in which people express their grief. I've had authors, I've had psychiatrists, I've had counselors. I've yet to have spoken word artist on my podcast, so I'm so excited to have You're the Thank you for having me. I'm kind of all in one. Those are all kind of like my titles. Yes, because it all comes in. Let's talk about what spoken word is. Let's talk about what it is for people that don't know what it is. And then we're going to dive into getting to know you a little bit more. What is spoken word?
00:02:55
Speaker
So spoken word and poetry kind of intertwine. um And how I like to describe spoken word is expressing yourself. express And for me personally, I express my deepest um thoughts, struggles, challenges, highs and lows and everything like that. So in a nutshell, it's just another form of expression.
00:03:22
Speaker
For me, I do it in a cool, savvy way. um You could ah say that it's hip hop. You could say it's R&B, it's soul. But it's from my heart and it's expressing yourself from the heart.
00:03:36
Speaker
That's how like to describe it. I was going to say that because a lot of times when you're hearing like even rapping is just another way of even somewhat of that spoken word just in a different way too, right? Absolutely. different ways in which it which art and expression, emotion just takes place in this form of spoken word. So I want to get to know you a little more so that the audience gets to know you and we'll just hear
Challenges in Atlantic City
00:04:03
Speaker
your story. So you grew up in Las Vegas.
00:04:07
Speaker
Is that correct? Atlantic city. Atlantic city is like Las Vegas. You know what's so funny as I was, this is why when I was listening to your, when I was listening to your, this is why I said Las Vegas. When I was listening to your Ted talk, the one that you did, the spoken word is like, you're saying the casinos are this. And I'm like, Oh, it's got, it's so funny. Cause I'm in this side. So I don't even think of Atlantic city in the gambling thing. yeah Okay.
00:04:32
Speaker
Completely. It's a smaller of what Las Vegas is today. ah okay But Atlantic City back then was like Las Vegas. Okay. So the Las Vegas of the East Coast. You grew up in the Las Vegas of the East Coast. Atlantic City. There we go. Absolutely. This is how it is because my research here about you was listening to your art. And so I'm like, okay. Oh, okay. so spread like this is But the casinos are automatically- The casinos completely made me think you had grown up in Las Vegas. Okay. So tell me about your upbringing. You had a really difficult upbringing and you had a lot of responsibilities. So share with us your life as a child and growing up in Atlantic City.
00:05:19
Speaker
So growing up in the Atlantic City, um I mean, I wouldn't say a very difficult, but it was challenging. You know, we we all have our challenges growing up. and um But for me specifically, growing up in Atlantic City, a lot of people think it's just the casinos and the glitz and the glamour and stuff like that. But There are things outside of the casinos. you know We have a um large proportion of homelessness, a large population of homelessness and drugs and alcohol addiction and so many other things um that surrounds the communities. You have guns and violence and drugs, et cetera, et cetera.
00:05:58
Speaker
For me, um i was able to, for the most part, stay away from those things. um because I had ah such a strong foundation with my family, my starting with my mother and my father.
00:06:10
Speaker
um And they tasked or gave me the responsibility of helping them um raise my siblings. um And that was, for me, challenging because I wanted to um be a kid. you know I wanted to be a kid and do all of the things that kids do. um Although I was able to do some things, I wanted to do so much more. But um As I got older and I grew and matured, I realized those things only helped groom me into who the person I am today.
00:06:38
Speaker
So helping raise my ah my oldest brother who has cerebral palsy and autism, like that helped me see the world through a different lens. um And helping raise my other siblings, um it helped me to be the father that I am today as well. So um all of those things just evolved me and groomed me into just being who I am today. um And obviously there were challenges um just growing up.
00:07:04
Speaker
um I played football for Little League, so I you know i did have my time just enjoying my childhood. childhood um But there were times where I just felt, I guess, ah to a certain degree alone.
00:07:18
Speaker
And that's kind of where um I leaned on
Writing as an Emotional Outlet
00:07:21
Speaker
like writing. I would have a journal or a notebook or something like that, and I would just write. um my feelings and express myself because ah when we were growing up, it's kind of like, you know, toughen it up, tough it out, you know, do what you need to do, but don't no crying, et cetera, et cetera. And um i just found a way to just kind of express myself. For me, I always needed to express myself. I couldn't keep it in. So whether it was me crying to myself or whatever, um I found a way to just let it out. And one of my best ways of doing that was, writing in a little journal and talking about my rough day or what I can do or can't do or what I'm not able to do. And like I said, there were things that I wasn't able to do as a child. So I would write those things out. Oh, if I can do this, say heartbreaks from girls and all of these different things, you know? So my notebook has always been, a i guess, my best friend.
00:08:21
Speaker
Your best friend, your companion, your therapist, your counselor, your everything. Let's talk about that part, about culturally or just within your family unit or if it was culturally, that part of not being able to express your feelings outwardly. These whole things about like boys don't cry or toughen it up, like there's no time for that. And always these things of dismissing our emotions sometimes.
00:08:46
Speaker
And therefore, for some people that don't have or don't end up experiencing don't end up choosing an outlet like you did. How that ends up impacting, and I'm sure you probably had peers that had similar situations that maybe did not have an outlet like you did with your writing that channeled those emotions.
00:09:05
Speaker
How was it how was it that that yeah that you ended up kind of finding that as your tool? And and let's talk about a little bit more about that. So it's it's so much, and think and great question. um It's so important.
00:09:21
Speaker
much different today than it was before, right? Because now today we have so many outlets and therapy is a trend now. You know what I mean? I hate to put it that way, but realistically that's kind of what it is. And it's a beautiful thing.
00:09:37
Speaker
Whereas though when I was coming up, that wasn't really pressed upon people. it was just kind of like figure it out or don't cry, be a man, be a boy, whatever, don't cry. For me, honestly, stumbling across writing um and expressing myself through a journal and stuff, I just kind of stumbled across it. you know I just kind of stumbled across it. i never It wasn't ever put on me or anything like that, but I always listened to music as well. So listening to music was another outlet for me. So um as I'm talking out loud about it right now, maybe music was kind of my inspiration to kind of get those feelings out.
00:10:14
Speaker
You what I mean? And I would just grab the notebook or journal or whatever. and um I was having daily entries or other weekly entries or whatever about what's going on.
00:10:24
Speaker
um And like I said, that that kind of became my best friend, just leaning on that and just talking about what was going on. And it came natural.
00:10:35
Speaker
It came naturally for me. um I stumbled across it and I just wrote about what I was feeling. And it was easy to always express myself. It was always easy to Just say how you feel. you know Some people struggle with that, you know saying how you feel, but i um I've gotten better with that because because when you're younger, you just kind of say whatever out of your mouth, whatever comes to mind, and you don't think about repercussions or anything like that. So it's just like, all I'm going to just say this or say that and whatever.
00:11:06
Speaker
Whatever happens, happens, but i need to release whatever is going on inside. Whereas though now I'm older, it's like, all right, I can find better and more savvy ways to kind of to these things yeah yeah put these put things together and stuff. So, yeah.
00:11:21
Speaker
the the music part that you're saying, because now you are now being that to someone else as they're listening. Your music is now being what it was, your music, your spoken word, your art is now being that comfort that you found then in music when you were growing up and that you could connect or like when you were hear a song and be like, oh my gosh, that's what's happening in my life. Can you recall any song or anything as you were growing up or even now that you're like, when you listen to it's it, it brings up
00:11:52
Speaker
some kind of emotion? Was there one particular artist or or ah or song that spoke to you that you can remember? um No particular song, but a particular, I mean, I have a lot of favorite artists today, but one artist that will always, like, I will listen to until my last breath is Tupac. Tupac has always been my inspiration, my motivation. on as far as I guess creating music and stuff like that, or just honestly just evoking some kind of emotion. Cause he was such an emotional rapper, artist, everything across the board. And um just the way he was able to express himself, um being so raw and honest in the things that he had to say to the world.
00:12:38
Speaker
um And that just kind of encouraged me to a certain degree to express myself as well. um And that's what I do today. Express myself, talk about the things that I'm going through, but also keeping in mind that what I'm going through, the next person is going through the same thing and it can help encourage and motivate the next person to keep going.
00:12:57
Speaker
In their life. So in your life, then you had this upbringing that in itself brought up your music. You had then ah a brother who's older, who had disabilities.
00:13:08
Speaker
That in itself can bring up a lot of grief. And then you experience also then the grief of losing your mom. Can you share ah when she passed and the circumstances she was helping, which i of what I could see here from your TED talk, it was that you're both your parents did a lot of philanthropic work right to the community, which I can see why it is that you do the work you do now too. And we'll talk a little bit more about that yeah in a minute. But let's let's talk about about that because she, she died in a way doing what she always do, helping others. So can you share the circumstances and how old you were?
Loss of a Mother and Its Impact
00:13:48
Speaker
So this is new, like it's fairly new, uh, 2021. Oh, this is recent. This is not when you were a child. Um, my mom passed and whatnot. So, um, My mom and father were traveling into Atlantic City to go and pick up my sister from work.
00:14:13
Speaker
And when they were going to go pick up my sister from work driving, there was another car that was flipped over on the side of the road. um And there was smoke coming from that vehicle. My mother and father pulled over on the right side and crossed the road to pick the take pull the lady out of the smoking vehicle. And they helped her get you know get to safety and everything. And then another car came speeding and hit my mother and took her life.
00:14:39
Speaker
and So that last, um her last breath, her last action an act of love, an act of service. And it's just a testament of who she's been her entire life, but also speaks volumes to who I am today. I've always been a person that is compassionate, that cares for others.
00:15:01
Speaker
um But i I use my mother as an example for me to help in different ways. You know what I mean? To help in different ways and not to um lose my life um while doing certain while servicing others, but putting my heart out there and helping others in the best way that I can.
00:15:27
Speaker
So I struggle with that. i have tug of war with that because although my mother my mother lost her life with this last act, but for me, and I know for me, i I have kids, wife, family, whatever that I want to live for and be here for forever, for as long as I live.
00:15:45
Speaker
So each step, each decision I make has to be calculated and I have to think of those things. But also in situations like that, it's kind of like,
00:15:56
Speaker
Well, what do I do? Do I, you know what I mean? Do I help this person and do I not help that person? Because, so left that's why I said I played tug of war and it's kind of like, um you know, I just played tug of war with it. You know what I mean? think so many of us do.
00:16:11
Speaker
I think so many of us do. i think so many of us do because what your parents did of stopping at the edge of the road, so many of us as we're driving and we're seeing that a lot of us probably even think, should I stop?
00:16:24
Speaker
You know, when there's like a, somebody, let's say changing their tire and you're like, should I stop and help? Like we, there's this, always this, do i for myself at least, you always kind of have this moment and like, you don't, you don't know what the, you know what the right thing is to do in terms of like for the other, but at the same time, is it right for me right now to put myself in a situation that is also at me, right? So in in life, there's, in this case, you know, what your parents did, that's just miraculous. I'm sure that, that, you know, that is incredible. Like that's takes so much to do that type of
00:17:00
Speaker
act But it's because they had always lived in that way. You mentioned they had always lived in that way. Right. So you you you were saying in which how how they did in order to help the society in which you guys were growing up a lot of times ended up affecting them.
00:17:18
Speaker
how much time they also got to spend with you guys at home too, right? yeah So yeah so that that's that also tug of war that probably now you're also experiencing as father, right? Okay. So let's go into that. So what type of work that they do in the society that was affecting so much, you know, that their time was maybe more outside of the home, helping the neighborhood you know, be able to be okay instead of this? Yeah. Share with us.
00:17:47
Speaker
So my dad, he's, he's always been in politics. So he would be in the community um with politics, helping people in the community, helping build a community up, which essentially will help, you know, me will impact me and my family, my siblings, and I'm in positive ways and stuff like that. So he was always heavily involved in the community and community in that way.
00:18:10
Speaker
my mom, she was always working in the casinos. She worked at um Taj Mahal, Harris. She worked at all of the casinos, to be honest. But also she was doing community work where she was working at soup kitchens and things like that. so um And everybody knew her as the cook because she was cooking in the casinos and stuff. So everybody knew Teresa as the cook and loud ass Teresa who can cook. and So um just them being able to give back to the community in those ways, they were beautiful things. When I was younger, I didn't,
00:18:50
Speaker
quite, I didn't ultimately get it. You know what i mean? Because it's just like, and when we're kids, it's like, I mean, i I get it, but I don't get it. I just want you to be here with me. You know, we're self-centered as kids, right? don't think about those things. We just want them to be here with us. I want mommy and daddy to be here to do that, or just mommy and daddy to be here for me so that I can go outside and do this, that, and the third.
00:19:13
Speaker
But in all honesty, it it helped me. It kept me away from a lot of the stuff that was going on around the community. You know what I mean? so But again, as a kid, I didn't care, but just wanted to be outside um doing bad stuff with my friends. You know what I mean? But those things helped me, man. It it it helped mold me into the person I am. It helped me to be the man that I am, the father that I am, um the husband that I am. It just, it groomed me. It really did. And it helped me to be
00:19:45
Speaker
um It helped build a strong bond with my siblings. You know what i mean? We had a very, very strong bond growing up. um And it just helped us it helped us all to stay close. And you know, you need those. You need you need those kinds of things.
00:20:01
Speaker
Yes, because ultimately who you're going to rely on yeah in your life is going to be your siblings a lot of times. I remember when my kids were little and they'd be fighting. I had seen this.
00:20:12
Speaker
I forget where I had seen it. ah and That you'd like put them back to back, its like back to back, you know, like they were little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys have to work together to stand up. And like and yous like you see you feel each other's back. That's who's going to have your back when we're not here. This is the – I have only two But this is your person. like you know if if If life goes in the order, which doesn't always go in that order, like my sister died before my one of my you know my my mom has died as well, but my sister died before my
00:20:44
Speaker
mom. So the order of life is not always that same, but if it were to be that us as parents lot die before our kids, that's who ultimately they have that can at least relate to the upbringing, to the understanding, you know, it's the only other person that lived in the same circumstances as you did. Right. and so yeah Yeah. It's so important to have those bonds. Now, you mentioned then that they are really the reason and your upbringing is a reason of who you are
Path to Social Work
00:21:12
Speaker
today. So aside from being an artist, your work is, as you mentioned, us as you do social work. So is so take ah tell us about that.
00:21:22
Speaker
Man, all every experience from childhood has brought me to where I am today as a poet, spoken word artist, author, TED Talker, et cetera, et cetera. It helped me to be the person that I am. um And it helped me.
00:21:39
Speaker
It shaped, it guided me to being in school, i going to school to be a social worker. I stumbled across, like when i graduated high school, I went to undergraduate studies at Seton Hall University. um I stumbled across so a social work class because I didn't know what I wanted to do.
00:21:57
Speaker
um specifically. like I graduated and I said, I'm going to math teacher. When I started taking classes, I'm like, what the hell? What is this? I don't want to do this. R plus U minus X. I'm like, what is this? I don't... yeah me so You know I mean? You take your court classes and stuff like that. and I stumbled across this social work class one time, one semester. and um I said, oh, wow. I've been doing this my entire life. like Those were literally my words. and Then I declared it as a major. and Then it was history after that. I finished with my BSW and then I went on and got my MSW and um I've been in social work ever since. It hasn't been easy, you know, cause social work is not, you know, obviously it's not lucrative and stuff like that. and um And it's a lot of work, you know what I mean? And it's different populations. I've worked with every population from homelessness to to mental health, mental illness, to the elderly to substance abuse, every every population I've worked with. But I've always wanted to work with um children and be in education, which is where I'm at today. And um it's so rewarding to just be able to talk to them.
00:23:07
Speaker
You know what i mean? Just to be able to talk to them, um pick their brains, um give them game, you know what I mean? And insight and let them know that um they don't know everything. Because you know, when we're younger, we think we know every single thing in the world. Oh yeah no yeah. I remember when I thought I knew more than my parents and now i'm seeing it with my children. I'm like, they, they think they know more than I do. There's certain things they do know more. There are some things they do know more than me. Yeah. Yeah. That's in today's generation. Like they'll put you game on those new things. It's like, I don't know that, yeah you know what I mean? But, um,
00:23:45
Speaker
just It's humbling, right? Exactly. Exactly. And it ah I guess some of the things, it ages you too, right? It's like, oh, all right.
00:23:56
Speaker
Yeah. But um the work that I do is so so very rewarding, just being able to just talk to the kids and help them along the way and listen to their stories. And social work, you're forever learning too. You know what i mean? Because everybody comes from different backgrounds and different environments and Everybody has their own set of challenges and struggles and things like that. And as a social as a social worker, you have to be able to navigate those things, navigate those challenges and and find different ways to support.
00:24:27
Speaker
You know what i mean? So um this work that I do today is um it's a reflection. All of the things that I've been through in my past is a reflection of what the work that I do today. And um i'm I'm super happy and proud of the work that I do. And I'm i'm happy that I chose this feel.
00:24:46
Speaker
But I want to... All right, sorry. i I love that in life, we have choices, right? That's like your life went in one direction. You could have completely gone a completely different direction, even with your upbringing. You could have, but yet you chose this this route or this route chose you too, because as you were in college, right, you ended up kind of picking the career, the career picked you as you realized, right, this is where I've been, right? Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:25:14
Speaker
Absolutely, thousand percent. And it chose me, I guess it's two way street. It chose me, but I also chose it. um But like from the beginning, like i was, I don't want to say forced, but forced to kind of do the things that I had to do. I mean, I'm a child, so you you know for the most part, you do as you're told. you know you You listen to your parents and respect your parents and what they tell you to do. There were things that I just had to learn along the way.
00:25:45
Speaker
And um and that those responsibilities were helping to raise my my siblings and and all of those things. And as I got older and got into school and stuff, I said, oh, well, I was doing this already, so I might as well continue to do this. You know what i'm mean? It's second nature to me now. It's just all of the paperwork and the work and all of the other stuff that I got to do to make it efficient.
00:26:12
Speaker
Yeah, you didn't have to take notes on what your brother or sisters had done that day, but this time you do have to take notes. What's your older brother's name? What's your older brother's name? Hakim. Hakim. Yes, Hakim. So, yeah, because you were caring for Hakim. How much older is Hakim than you?
00:26:27
Speaker
Oh, Hakim is... Boobie was four years old, three, four years older than me. Okay, okay. I forgot. I'm bad with ages. It's okay. It's okay, especially when it's when it's five kids. It's what I've know what i've heard of people that grew a big family. Oh, it's six of you. You took care of five. Okay, so it's six of you. I've heard of people not even knowing sometimes when they're actual even when their birthday is because when there's so there were so many kids. Sometimes parents didn't even...
00:26:55
Speaker
celebrate the birthdays when they were accumulated into one. Right.
00:27:10
Speaker
Hi, I just had to come on and just kind of interrupt right now this episode that you're hearing. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful that you guys are listening to this conversation. And every single time i hear a guest, there's something new that I learn and something else that ends up showing up within me that I realize I still have to work on.
00:27:30
Speaker
And if by chance, as you're listening to this conversation, you're feeling the same, that there's parts of you that are being stirred up and you are navigating a life transition right now that feels just heavy and stressful and just layered with grief. I want you to know that you do not have to do it alone.
00:27:48
Speaker
I invite you to connect with me for a free 15 minute discovery call and we'll explore what's coming up for you and see if working together feels like the right fit.
00:27:59
Speaker
Just check the show notes below for my email and reach out for details. I'd really love to support you in integrating these transitions with more ease and clarity.
00:28:12
Speaker
Can't wait to hear back from you. Okay, let's keep on listening to the episode. Okay. So dek let's move now into talking about your art and your new EP and how it is that you are now exploring and sharing this now with the world.
00:28:32
Speaker
It went from being something that you would do for yourself from writing in a book. How did it transition to now being something that you now share with the world? So when I, um,
00:28:44
Speaker
So I'll go back a little bit before we even get to this. so when i when I graduated Seton Hall undergrad studies, um I didn't know what I wanted to do.
00:28:56
Speaker
Like I knew I wanted to, no, I didn't. I didn't know that I wanted to go to grad school. I figured once I graduated undergrad, I would just jump into the money. That was my head in my head. I don't know.
00:29:09
Speaker
For some odd reason, I just thought once you graduate, You get a job and you make all of this damn money. yeah So I realized that wasn't a reality. So I'm like, okay.
00:29:20
Speaker
um And my my um boy who had graduated too, we had we didn't graduate through commencement. We just finished with all our course studies and stuff like that. So he wound up going to St. Croix um because he had family over there and he wanted to figure out what his next next steps were going to be.
00:29:41
Speaker
And he asked me to go with him. And I was like, yeah, ain't going. More power to you. But make a long story short, I wound up going. And when I went there, it was like the most eye-opening,
00:29:54
Speaker
um evolving, ah beautiful life experience ever for me. It just was life-changing for me. um I went over there. I was doing a lot of praying and reading and learning about myself and all of these things because um As I said throughout this interview, was like you know I always wrote my feelings out and things like that. But i ive for the most part, I've always poured into everybody else and helping everybody else. And for the most part, I put Tariq on the back burner.
00:30:28
Speaker
So this experience was a time for me to pour into myself. And that's when life started changing for the best for me. um I started writing more.
00:30:40
Speaker
writing a lot about my emotions and feelings. And again, I was away from everything and everyone. I was in St. Croix, never been there before. And I just had this wonderful life-changing time where I was able to just write and read and listen and sit in silence and just really learn about who Tariq is and where he's headed.
00:31:02
Speaker
And then that's when I applied to grad school. That's when I stumbled across applying to grad school to go and get my MSW um my master's in social work. And then i I went there and when I was in grad school, I continued to write poetry. And then i also created my thesis project. I created the documentary about the prison system.
00:31:23
Speaker
um I just started doing all of these artsy things where I was just um bringing all of the things that was inside of me out out of me and just creating art, inspiring art.
00:31:35
Speaker
And then ah once I graduated up with my MSW, Now it was just like, all right, now what? And um I was just still trying to figure it out. Like, okay. Again, i was back like, all right, well, I'm about to make some real money now.
00:31:47
Speaker
ah But it still wasn't that. um So I was just applying the jobs, and applying the jobs. And then um I was going to the gym every day. I was just doing so much. I was just all over the place.
00:31:59
Speaker
And um I wound up going to the gym. Like I said, I was going to the gym often. And I wound up going one day and I tore my Achilles.
00:32:09
Speaker
And the week before that, I had a big interview in New York and I got the job. So I was supposed to start like a week or two after that. And when I tore my Achilles, I had to call him and tell him I can't accept the role.
00:32:23
Speaker
So I was devastated, hurt, done up. crying, eating everything in the world. I was depressed. You were grieving. You were grieving yeah that this loss of opportunity and what your idea, oh man. And what I felt like, you know um i started to you know have some direction.
00:32:41
Speaker
And then um it brought me back to St. Croix, just reflecting again, reflecting. Tariq, you did all of this work for you to come and just be here right now. What is God telling you? what What's going on?
00:32:54
Speaker
And that's when I created my first body of work. Because I always told myself when I was in in my undergraduate studies that I would write my book one day. And that's when I wrote my um my memoir, A Diamond in God's Dirt. And then I just continued to create from there and create and write. And I went on a book tour. I was at Buzzboys and Poets in DC. I had a um a book signing in my neighborhood. And um I had ah some press there, and I just kept going from there.
00:33:25
Speaker
um And then life started hitting, and you know you got your peaks and valleys and all of these crazy and beautiful things. And then that, ultimately, it brought me to COVID.
00:33:37
Speaker
and I'm fast-forwarding, obviously, but it brought me to COVID, and then I created my arm my first spoken word album. um And I was just reflecting the times my art just reflecting the times, talking about all of the things that we were going through. And then after that, um that is when- Because your mom died during COVID, right? Because it was- Yeah. No, no, no. It was right. It was after COVID. so Okay. So before, so after COVID, sorry, during COVID, my wife was pregnant. We lost our daughter.
00:34:11
Speaker
And she was like seven and a half, eight eight months. oh She was eight months. So this was during COVID. This was during COVID. So it was like, it was rough.
00:34:21
Speaker
we i lost we We lost her during that time. And that was very scary um because she was so far along. And it just kind of happened one day. And then we were able to get through that.
00:34:33
Speaker
And then oh my brother i lost. And then my daughter, and then all of these losses. And I was just in a rut, just going through things. And then they just kind of I had to take a lot of time to kind of grieve and get through these things. And that pushed me into therapy and um starting to figure more things out about myself and expressing myself, not just through writing, but to someone. Because remember, I said my best friend has always been my journal. But at this point, it's like, all right, I need to talk to someone. And I stumbled across a therapist and I started building myself back up.
00:35:09
Speaker
And then that's when I started to like really create again. And I started putting this album together, a Spoken Word album, and oh stumbled across Rodney. And when I stumbled across Rodney, that was it. And we just started doing things and collaboratively putting things together. And and Rodney's your person. Yes, sir. yeah Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Well, I already met, but the the audience doesn't. Yeah, yeah. He helped me a lot with um like just all of these connections and things. And then um we submitted for Grammy consideration with the EP. um When the Heart Speaks, and we submitted, and then I became considered for a Grammy, which is beautiful. And then on of a month after the consideration, I um i released my album, Kiss My Heart. So all of my life experiences, specifically within the last like four five years, um I put into the EP, When the Heart Speaks, and my album, Kiss My Heart. I just put everything in there, all my pain, all my hardships, agony, my happiness, all of those things I just put in in these two bodies of work. so
00:36:18
Speaker
That's kind of what you got. I'm sorry to be so long-winded, but I wanted to give you the backstory to help you to understand. them No, no, no. Perfect. No, I did not know about the grief of you know losing your daughter oh yeah prior to her birth.
Grieving an Unborn Child
00:36:34
Speaker
And yeah yeah, that is a lot because it's something you guys went as... Was this your first pregnancy?
00:36:40
Speaker
Yeah. And it was a girl. was lot. It was very scary because I almost lost my wife. along with our daughter. It was a lot. It was, and it was back to back. Like we lost my brother then, think a year and some change removed from that. That's when we got pregnant and then we lost a baby. And then a year, two years removed from that, I lost mom. So like, it was like, boom, boom, boom. I'm like, God, can I get a break?
00:37:06
Speaker
You know what I mean? yeah So um I just found ways to, um to grieve and, and, and, It was not easy, obviously. um But each time I have conversations, each time I interview and talk about it, I heal a piece of me.
00:37:23
Speaker
So, yeah. Yeah, sharing sharing does that, I feel. One, because it's kind of coming out. Another one is that as you're saying it, you're also honoring the lives of these people too, as you're mentioning you know your stories. It's another way of bringing them along for this journey and their their life is still...
00:37:44
Speaker
Absolutely. still alive you know They're still alive within within us and in our stories and in this case in your music. I wrote some lines from your song, No Regrets, from that one.
00:37:55
Speaker
is that Is that correct? That's No Regrets is one of your singles. So it starts off. yeah the video's out. Yes, the the video's out. and And you can find the whole album and Bandcamp. Is that correct? That's where people can buy it? Okay. so But here's one of the... um the lines like li like like, grief hits you like a ton of bricks. bricks like And then others are like, learn from the losses. These are some of the things that learn from the seeds that have been sown. This part, that you yourself are like the seed that has been sown. It's like these things that have happened. It's like in life, you have these little seeds that have been sown based on what we've lived. And then they
00:38:36
Speaker
kind of you know come up. um Let's see if I can read my own writing, because this is usually the challenges. Let me say, hoping to find a better way. ah Oh, hoping to find a better way to... You see this part? I can't read my these feelings. To refer to... What was it? See if you can remember your... Hoping way to release these feelings, but... There you go. Oh, okay. yeah Let's talk about...
00:39:00
Speaker
that help Because that is exactly some of the times like that we do not know what to do. we have these emotions we don't know. And your your words say what someone is feeling. Mm-hmm.
00:39:15
Speaker
I love that because I got to know so much about you because literally all I got from your bio was what you sent me. But by listening to No Regrets and your TED Talk, aside from the part that I got the the Atlantic City wrong, the city wrong, other than that, in those seven minutes, I think that your TEDx or however long that talk yeah is, I was able to get so much of your life within that. So this is the power of art.
00:39:46
Speaker
It has a power of storytelling. It has a power of connecting. it has ah's It's just so powerful. So I want to first off honor you for using your art as that platform and then the way that you're expressed, but just honor in general, just for all of us, that expression of art and how much it has that power of connecting with others and their stories. So Let's talk about No Regrets. Thank you for that. Thank you for that. I appreciate it.
00:40:14
Speaker
Yeah. Tell us more about No Regrets and then create about that particular song. And and if it's it, of course, you just expressed a little bit about your own life and the the grief. And so how did that one come to to be birthed? How did No?
00:40:32
Speaker
So thank you again for that. And you summed that up perfectly. Like my TED Talk, It's literally like my life. yeah You know what I mean?
00:40:47
Speaker
I chopped it down to seven minutes, if you may. But, you know, I tried to touch on each and everything, but it revolved around my brother um who passed, who obviously, as I mentioned, cerebral palsy and autism. And again...
00:41:06
Speaker
he again helped ruin me into the person I am, which is why I help. And I see things from a different lens because my brother, Hakeem, he couldn't write. He couldn't walk. He couldn't, I mean, he he could walk, but as years went on, he couldn't walk, but he couldn't talk. He couldn't feed himself. Like, you know, had to give him medication. And and so i I looked at life differently since I was younger and even still today. You know what I mean? And um that TED Talk just kind of sums up how
00:41:37
Speaker
my life has been and why I am the person I am today. No regrets is specifically about living life without regrets.
00:41:50
Speaker
um It revolved and it was inspired by the loss of my mom, but more so inspired by the emotions that we live with um after loss. You know, we lose people and then we have all of these regrets, right?
00:42:03
Speaker
And it's like, all right, well, why do I have to live with these regrets? And I kind of, as I mentioned earlier, I kind of go back and forth throughout the record as well. It's kind of like, all right, well, I don't have regrets, but at the same time, I think I do have regrets. You know what mean? Because it's like, you know, maybe, you know, growing up, I could have picked up the phone when my mom called. Because sometimes like, man, I don't want to hear that shit.
00:42:27
Speaker
You know what i mean? Or you missed the text or you didn't respond and things like that. And those are just small things, but You just think of all of those things, just wanting to have more time with the person that you lost. You know I mean? And just dealing with those most emotions on after you lose a person. um And once you start facing those emotions, it's difficult.
00:42:50
Speaker
know what I mean? Because you're reliving those moments that I just expressed, but you're also reliving that, for me, that last day in which I lost my mom. You know what mean? And just thinking like, damn, what if she didn't help?
00:43:05
Speaker
this person, she would still be here. You know what I mean? What if I was there with my mom? you know she wouldn't like maybe we could have found it Maybe I have helped her, pulled her out of the way, pushed her of the way. You just think of all of these things.
00:43:21
Speaker
And it's just like, for me, I was like, I can't continue to live my life like that because I'm going to, as the kids would say, crash out. You know what I mean? I can't. And as I told you earlier, I ah My life is not about just me.
00:43:38
Speaker
You know what I mean The experiences that I go through is not about me. My kids are my legacy. So I have to be calculated, as I mentioned over already, with my decision making. I have to make sure that I'm taking care of myself.
00:43:55
Speaker
You know, we go through these life experiences, all of these hardships, and sometimes We put ourselves on the back burner. We forget to take care of ourselves because we're in madness, melee, all of these things. And it's like, all right, got to do this. I got handle this responsibility. I got to do that. I got to do that. Check that out. And when you're doing all of those things, it's like, oh, I forgot to eat.
00:44:19
Speaker
Oh, I forgot to do this for myself. I forgot to drink. what like I forgot to do all of these things for myself. And then at the end of the day, it's like, all right, I'm tired. I'll get to it later. So it's like, for me, I'm like, I can't do that. I have to.
00:44:33
Speaker
prioritize. And the priority is Tariq. And when I'm taking care of myself, that will in turn help other people, you know, and I'll be an example for other people in that way. And directly, I'll be an example for my children. You know what I mean? So.
00:44:49
Speaker
I absolutely love what you just said, because a lot of times we feel that taking care of so of ourselves is selfish and it is not, is exactly what you just said. i I used to be, well, I still am very cautious. certainly growing night Yeah. there's yeah but But I'm really cautious of what I eat and how I exercise. And a lot of times that takes time. And there were times in which I feel like a little, let's say, um,
00:45:14
Speaker
Guilty. right Guilty. Yes. By doing that. But at the same time i was doing it because I do, I do not want to live in a, like, I don't want to age in a way that's going to have to have my children take care of me. I want to be able. Right. So there's things that it's not, you're, it's not selfish to take care of yourself because you really are doing it with the idea that it is for the good of your whole family unit, right? And your mental health, how much it affects your mental health, your wellbeing, your emotional wellbeing, when you're able to take care of yourself, the impact that that has in your family unit, right? Yeah. So thank you for bringing that up because a lot of times we do put, and especially I say this as a mom. I know we put ourselves in black burners ah often, a lot. um Often a lot. I'm redundant there with my words. but And it's not fair to ourselves. It's not fair to us. It's not fair to the things that we're building. like Obviously, you have a podcast, and I'm sure you have a thousand other things that you do. But if we're putting ou ourselves second, it's like, how are able to be productive, the our best version of ourselves? How can we be those things if we're putting ourselves second?
00:46:26
Speaker
You know what I mean? yeah We have to make sure that we're taking care of ourselves, whether that be through therapy. um For me, writing, creating, expressing yourself, you have to let it out. you Go to the spa. like you know Take care of yourself. Take a moment to breathe. Sit in silence. Woosah.
00:46:44
Speaker
you know We bear so much. Bear so much. the The world is heavy, but the world is also a beautiful place to live in. You know what i mean? So I think perspective is leaning on those beautiful things and the beautiful thing starts with us. And we got to allow that light from within to shine through.
00:47:03
Speaker
and we allow that light to shine through by taking care of ourselves. I absolutely love that. Thank you. Tariq, before we wrap up and tell people how they can get ahold of you and how they can find your music, I mentioned Bandcamp, but we'll talk a little bit more about that.
00:47:18
Speaker
I want to ask, is there something you want to make sure that you share with the audience if by chance I have not asked it yet? um I think just to piggyback off of what I said, just prioritize yourself.
00:47:32
Speaker
Prioritize your mental health. um Love on yourself. um When you love on yourself and take care of yourself, um you're able to love on everyone else. You know what I mean? and And you might not want to love on anybody else, but take care yourself along the way.
00:47:47
Speaker
That is priority. It really is. And um you'll start to see life um in a different way. you know and and And be empathetic. And there's so many other people in the world who go through things. And I think sometimes we can be selfish in that um in that instance where it's like, all right, well, I'm not thinking about the next person. I'm thinking about me. And that's fine. Think about yourself. But there's another person out there, especially, i mean, i'm I'm on the East Coast. I'm in New Jersey, so it's cold as hell.
00:48:16
Speaker
So I think of me, I think of like homeless, the homeless, you know people out there who don't have a home. like So I always think of those things and oh just live life in gratitude. You know what I mean? Because it's another person who would die to be in your shoes and where you are. So be empathetic, live life, take care of yourself, be empathetic, and please live life um with gratitude.
00:48:42
Speaker
Perfect. Beautiful. Okay. Tariq Rashad Calloway, how can people find you, your website? I know I'll put it in the show notes, but if you want to say the best ways of which people can get your your LP, your EP and stuff, just let us know.
00:48:58
Speaker
So tarikrashad.com, that's my official website, but I'm very active on my Instagram page, which is tarik underscore Rashad. That's T-I-R-I-Q underscore R-A-S-H-A-D. And my album, um, ah kiss my art is on band camp. Um, I have merch hoodies. I have a kiss my journal, which is pretty cool. I wish I, ah I'm at work. I wish i would have brought this stuff so i could show you guys, but, um,
00:49:24
Speaker
There's some pretty cool stuff on my on my website and on on my Bandcamp page. Once you go to Bandcamp, you can type my name in and all my information will pop up. My um EP, um When the Heart Speaks, is on Spotify, Apple Music, and everywhere else. um You can find that there as well. So um thank you so much, Kendra, for having me. um It's been a beautiful conversation. I appreciate you.
00:49:46
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for inspiring us and sharing your story. And also for all of you listening, Just I hope that this brings you a little bit of comfort and also maybe even sparks that creativeness within you to express in some shape or form in art how you're feeling. And it may be spoken word. It may be dance. It may be, who knows, a movie, whatever it is, art in some shape or form, because creation, creating something does really
00:50:20
Speaker
heal the soul and soothe the soul. So thank you. Thank you so much again, Tariq. Thank you.
00:50:36
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief.
00:50:49
Speaker
If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:51:05
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me.
00:51:18
Speaker
And thanks once again for tuning in to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray In Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.