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Collective Grief & The Ecosystem of Healing: Why You Don't Have to Carry It All
40 Plays5 days ago
In this vulnerable solo episode, I am sharing my heart regarding the emotional weight of these past few weeks. Recently, it really hit home for me when some teenagers from my daughter's school here in Texas died in a tragic sledding accident during a rare ice storm. When you combine a local tragedy like that with the grief of injustices, war, and shattered families happening all around the world, our nervous systems can tighten, and the collective grief can feel like too much to carry.
We often feel a pressure to speak up publicly or post on social media, fearing that if we don't, we aren't doing enough. But in this episode, I want to remind you that we are all part of an "ecosystem" of life—kind of like a potluck dinner where everyone brings a different dish. Some of us bring activism, while others bring art, prayer, laughter, or a quiet presence, and all of these roles are necessary for change.
In this episode, I touch on:
• The Pressure to Perform: Releasing the guilt of not publicly speaking out on every tragedy and understanding that your role might look different than someone else's.
• The Ecosystem of Change: How to identify if your role today is to be on the front lines, or if your role is to rest so you can hold space for others tomorrow.
• Nervous System Regulation: Why we need to pause when we feel overwhelmed—because if we are all crumbling, we can't hold anyone else up.
• Micro-Acts of Love: How small things, like smiling at a stranger, checking on a friend, or dropping off a meal, are powerful ways to tend to the collective grief.
• Curating Your Peace: The importance of breathing, moving your body, and setting boundaries around how much news and social media you consume.
I want to invite you to give yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling—whether that is freezing, crying, or needing to retreat. We cannot fix everything, but we can always tend to someone.
Sending you all so much love.
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Transcript
Introduction to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between podcast. I'm your host, Kendra Rinaldi. This is a space to explore the full spectrum of grief, from the kind that comes with death to the kind that shows up in life's many transitions.
00:00:22
Speaker
Through stories and conversations, we remind each other that we're not alone. Your journey matters, and here we're figuring it out together. Let's dive right in to today's episode.
Disclaimer on Personal Stories
00:00:47
Speaker
Let's start with a quick disclaimer. This podcast includes personal stories and perspectives on topics like grief, health, and mental wellness. The views expressed by guests are their own and may reflect individual experiences that are not meant as medical advice.
00:01:05
Speaker
As the host, I hold space for diverse voices, but that does not mean I endorse every viewpoint shared. Please listen with care and take what resonates with you.
Personal Reflections on Tragedy
00:01:16
Speaker
Hello and welcome to this solo episode that I'll be doing today. ah usually don't do too many solo episodes, but I felt called to want to share some of my thoughts and perspectives about because it has been a very emotional past few weeks, but this weekend just kind of just took it up another notch.
00:01:55
Speaker
So a lot of times we have so, well, at this moment, we have so many things going on in this in the world.
00:02:09
Speaker
And then just this last weekend, it really hit home as some young teenagers from my daughter's school died in a tragic sledding accident.
Global Events and Collective Grief
00:02:21
Speaker
We live in Texas. There's usually not much snow here. If it does, it's only once or twice a year. And it turned into ice and it was a ah tragedy.
00:02:34
Speaker
And so everywhere that I go, when I go online, It is ah news or information about this incident.
00:02:45
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And then there's also all the other things that are happening in the world. So I just wanted to to share a little bit about how we can really take care of ourselves and our nervous system when the world feels heavy,
00:03:08
Speaker
And our nervous system and just our body tightens. And we do absorb a lot of what hope happens around the world.
00:03:24
Speaker
And we carry this grief of injustices, death,
00:03:34
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death of loss, of families being shattered, just of so many different things that happen. And I don't speak about this that much, actually probably even at all on social media. i don't end up sharing my views on any particular situation,
00:04:04
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Because a lot of times it ends up being, everything ends up being politicized. But the the thing is that the reality is that all this still brings up grief in people. And so really empathizing with the grief that everybody's experiencing, whether those that are living an injustice or living war or living ah grief in their own lives.
00:04:35
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families for different circumstances,
00:04:40
Speaker
empathizing with with that emotion. and And also then for those of us that are observing and those that speak out, also empathizing with the grief of the communities that are observing and witnessing these unjust injustices and sorrow and grief around the world.
Roles in Addressing Collective Grief
00:05:10
Speaker
Now in witnessing and in these kinds of situations, we don't all have the same role. So when we see something going on, a lot of times we feel that we all have to speak up. Like if I don't speak up, if I don't say something, if I don't publicly post where it is I stand with this situation or publicly express my condolences or publicly, we feel we can end up feeling as if we're not doing enough.
00:05:49
Speaker
But the reality is that we are all part of this ecosystem of life. We're all interconnected. sometimes,
00:06:02
Speaker
The way that we show up may be different than what others may do. It is not going to look the same way. It's not going to look the same way.
00:06:14
Speaker
It's as if you, this is going to be a very silly example, but it's as if you're invited to a potluck dinner and everybody brings an entree. Everybody has to bring something different to the table.
00:06:29
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And it is in in that space. sharing of the diversity of how we all contribute to the the whole world's ecosystem, that then there can be change.
Managing Emotional Overwhelm
00:06:42
Speaker
So some of us, our role and the way we play a role in the change could be by presenting hope, by presenting some joy. you know They say laughter is the best medicine. you know Comedians, shit that's how they show up in these kind of situations. They'll make
00:07:03
Speaker
light of things because sometimes we do need laughter and to to be able to, you know, ah express it in some way. And it does not mean that you're being in sunset. A lot of times it is just that it's what is needed.
00:07:15
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other Other times people show up quietly by just literally saying, changing their own way of acting with their families and with the people around them. Maybe they offer intimate prayer gatherings. Maybe they um Yeah, they they send energy.
00:07:39
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And I know that that may seem like this, like, oh, sending energy. And for a lot of times people, those are like platitudes that sometimes it rubs people that are very much more the type that are activists that are wanting to be and in the front line of things.
00:07:56
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It may rob rub people the wrong way when someone just kind of stands back but it is because we all just have different roles that we play.
00:08:08
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It doesn't mean that we are not creating an impact because we create an impact in different ways. So if you're if you're like me, you sometimes really have to keep a check in your own nervous system.
00:08:31
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So we cannot expect to really like carry the weight of the whole world in our in our shoulders, and it could just be a lot.
00:08:44
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So something that's helpful for me to like reframe is my nervous system is signaling me that I need to pause and that it's not that I don't care.
00:08:56
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So when I feel that overwhelm, that I really don't feel like I can consume any more information of what is going on in the world. I really end up having to have a lot of grace with myself.
00:09:17
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And finding that grace with ourselves in these these moments is so important.
00:09:26
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So just remember that some people speak out, some pray, some organize, some create beauty with art. Some people hold space for others.
00:09:39
Speaker
And some may rest today so that they can be the ones to show up again tomorrow for those that need then at that point two to rest.
00:09:51
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so Your role may not be loud, but it is still necessary.
00:09:59
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So something to ask ourselves day to day is like, what is my role today? And again, not just because that is your role today, does that mean it's a forever? And check in with yourself because there may be times in which you might have been the person that is out there and in the front lines. And there may be may be times in which your role that day may be to rest and allow others to be the ones to be the ones to stand up and be more open.
00:10:31
Speaker
bold about how they show up and and and share what's going on in the world.
Acts of Kindness and Connections
00:10:40
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But it is so important, again, to find ways of recharging our own nervous system and taking care of ourselves. Because if we don't, then we're all crumbling.
00:10:56
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And if we're all crumbling, who is going to hold someone else up?
00:11:02
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It's like when somebody is drowning, you don't jump in necessarily to save them because you might actually be drowned yourself. You have to have the right i resources, right, to be able to do that.
00:11:19
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So ways in which you can do like little micro acts, like little little things is checking in on a friend. Sending a message to someone one and knowing I know that the world feels heavy right feels heavy right now and i'm I'm thinking of you.
00:11:38
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Sending a message to just you know just check in. Sending a meal to someone one that may be going through her time, offering a moment of silence.
00:11:54
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Even the little things like just smiling at someone else that you see, the street that you may not even know, that can make an impact on their lives. So we cannot fix everything.
00:12:09
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We can't. There's some things that cannot be fixed, but we can tend to something. We can be there for someone.
00:12:27
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When we go through the immense amount of grief that we go through as a human species, I feel that it can deepen the compassion that we have for others.
00:12:49
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It reminds us of what matters.
00:12:55
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It helps us be more present with those around us. It also helps us really weigh in on our priorities in life.
00:13:12
Speaker
So I want to invite you to give yourself permission to feel what you feel.
Validating Emotional Responses
00:13:19
Speaker
There's nothing. right or wrong in in how you grieve or how these emotions show up in you. Some people cry. Some people really prefer to retrieve and be quiet.
00:13:33
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Some people busy themselves. Some people freeze. Some people get angry. There's just different ways. But you're your emotions, though, are valid.
00:13:45
Speaker
The way that those emotions are showing up is valid, are valid.
00:13:55
Speaker
Another thing that I want to invite you to do is to also just be very mindful of what you allow to come in to your into your space when you're needing to, again, balance your nervous system.
00:14:13
Speaker
I know that for myself, i um I know that if there's something heavy happening in the world, I may not be checking my social media as often.
00:14:26
Speaker
just because i that's actually usually how I find out that something's going on in the world because I don't read the news too much because it just feels so heavy.
00:14:39
Speaker
Being aware of what you allow then to come in, what and would what conversations do you engage in? Are they conversations that are going to create change?
00:14:51
Speaker
Are they conversations that are going to contribute?
00:14:59
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You are allowed again to really
00:15:06
Speaker
focus as well on your own in your own healing and in your own life in order to be a better human being for those of you around you.
Self-Care and Listener Engagement
00:15:22
Speaker
Take care of yourself.
00:15:26
Speaker
Breathe. Oh my goodness. Don't forget to breathe, breathe, breathe. Breath is so important. Another huge resource. And then moving, moving our body as well can help our nervous system and then rest and talk to someone one that empathizes with what you may be feeling and going through. And that is there to listen and hold space for you.
00:15:56
Speaker
I want to send you all so much love, so much light. And i want to thank you all for being part of the ecosystem that we all are part of, for being here on this planet,
00:16:16
Speaker
and that together we can be part of the change, each of us in our own way. Sending you all lots of love.
00:16:29
Speaker
Thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief.
00:16:42
Speaker
If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way, to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:16:58
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me.
00:17:11
Speaker
And thanks once again for tuning in to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray In Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.